Tag Archives: Horror

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #20: Countdown to Doom (1987, Topologika Software Ltd.)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For my next adventure in the dark side of the Internet Archive, I played Countdown to Doom (1987, Topologika Software Ltd.).

Man, this game is tough!

You have just crashed your spaceship on a mysterious planet called Doom.  You have 400 turns in order to find the spare parts necessary to repair your spaceship.  To do that, you will have to figure out how to get out of your spaceship.  Assuming you survive the escape, you will have to explore the planet and find everything that you need.

The best thing about Countdown to Doom is that it is really well-written.  The descriptions are so detailed that you will feel like you are actually on the planet.  The bad thing is that you only have 400 turns so if you spend too much time exploring, your ship will collapse and you will be forever trapped.

This is a challenging game because if you make one mistake, you will die.  For me, the most humiliating moment was when I tried to pull the door of the spaceship and it fell on me.

Next time, I tried push door and I had better results.

Countdown to Doom is one of the best games that I’ve found in the Internet Archive.  It may be difficult but it is not impossible.  There is also a walkthrough but, for best results, suck it up and figure it out for yourself.  It will be worth it.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Tommy Lee Wallace Edition!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

This October, I am going to be using our 4 Shots From 4 Films feature to pay tribute to some of my favorite horror directors, in alphabetical order!  That’s right, we’re going from Argento to Zombie in one month!

Today’s director: Tommy Lee Wallace!

4 Shots From 4 Films

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982, dir by Tommy Lee Wallace)

Fright Night Part 2 (1988, dir by Tommy Lee Wallace)

It (1990, dir by Tommy Lee Wallace)

Vampires: Los Muertos (2002, dir by Tommy Lee Wallace)

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #19: Shenanigans (1984, Mark Data Productions)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For my next trip through the dark side of the Internet Archive, I played Shenanigans (1984, Mark Dice Productions.)

In Shenanigans, your goal is to track down a leprechaun’s pot of gold.  You really need the money.  Just look at where you are living:

Everything in Shenanigans is a puzzle and that includes getting out of your apartment.  Directly outside your bedroom door, your landlord is waiting.  He wants the rent that you own him.  I typed “hit landlord” several times but the game does not understand the hit command.

The only way to get by the landlord is to pay him.  The money is in the room but it is not easy to find.  Hint: look at everything more than once.

If you ever get out of the apartment, you can wander around the city.  Be careful because it is surprisingly easy to die in this game.  For example, you might run into muggers.  If you remember to search everything, you will have an item that will save your life.  If you miss something, you will die.

Assuming you survive, you will find a bar.

Make sure you order the right beer or you might die.  If you do order the right beer, you can find a subway that will take you to this magical place:

Solving the puzzles in Shenanigans can be rewarding but the gameplay can sometimes be frustrating.  Not only is it extremely easy to mess up but, like many games from the 80s, the game’s vocabulary is limited.  I spent a lot of time playing “guess the verb.”  Fortunately, there is a walkthrough available.  Without it, I would have died even more times than I did.

Horror on the Lens: Samson vs. The Vampire Women (dir by Alfonso Corona Blake)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

If a group of vampires are determined to ruin your night, what should you do?  Well, according to the classic Mexican film Santo vs. las Mujeres Vampiro, your first move should be to call a wrestler.

What to know more?  Well, you can read my full review of the film by clicking here!

And you can watch the movie below because it’s today’s horror on the lens!

Horror on TV: Thriller 2.14 “Portrait Without A Face” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For tonight’s televised horror, we have another episode of the Boris Karloff-hosted anthology series, Thriller!

In Portrait Without A Face, an arrogant painter is murdered.  No one knows who murdered him but don’t worry.  Just because he’s dead, that doesn’t mean the artist has to stop painting!  In fact, his first post-death painting might just be a picture of the person who killed him…

A Movie A Day #292: The Bride (1985, directed by Franc Roddam)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

The Bride opens where most films about Frankenstein and his monster end.

The Baron (played by fucking Sting, of all people) has agreed to create a bride for his creation, who in this movie is named Viktor and played by Clancy Brown.  Jennifer Beals plays the Bride, who is named Eva.  Eva looks like a normal, beautiful wielder-turned-dancer so when she first sees Viktor, she screams.  Viktor gets upset and starts to trash the laboratory.  “Don’t be impertinent!’ snaps the Baron’s assistant (Quentin Crisp).  A fire breaks out.  Quentin Crisp dies and so does another assistant played by Timothy Spall.  The monster escapes.  The Baron takes Eva into his household.  The Baron is obsessed with controlling Eva, who wants her independence and who has fallen in love with Cary Elwes.  When Eva sees a cat, she screams.  “You never told me about cats,” she tells the Baron, “I thought it was a tiny lion!”

The rest of the movie is a bewildering collection of cameos from respected thespians forced to recite some of the worst dialogue in film history.  Viktor befriends Rinaldo the dwarf (David Rappaport), who tells Viktor about how much he dreams of one day seeing Venice.  After Rinaldo is murdered by Alexei Sayle, Viktor swears that he will go to Venice and he will take Eva with him.

(Timothy Spall,  Quentin Crisp, and Alexei Sayle are not the only British performers to be strangely miscast in The Bride.  Keep an eye out for Phil Daniels, Ken Campbell, and Tony Haygarth, all wasted in small roles.)

The Bride attempts to put a revisionist, feminist spin on the story of Frankenstein but it ultimately just looks like a two hour Duran Duran video, with a guest vocals provided by Sting.  The scenes with Clancy Brown and David Rappaport work but otherwise, every important role is miscast.  Jennifer Beals is monotonous as the Bride and Sting never comes close to suggesting that he is capable of the type of mad genius that would be necessary to create life.  When it comes to the Bride of Frankenstein, stick with the original.

One final note: Both Sting and Phil Daniels also appeared in a much better film from Franc Roddam, Quadrophenia.  I recommend seeing Quadrophenia almost as much as I recommend forgetting about The Bride.

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #18: Daleks (1985)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For my next adventure in the dark side of the Internet Archive, I played Daleks (1985).

I’m the Doctor!?  It’s about time!  And I’m battling the Daleks?

It’s time to let those dogmatic salt and pepper shakers know who’s the boss!  Press any key to continue?  Just try to stop me!

Those do not look like Daleks.  I guess that stick figure is me, the Doctor.

The game itself is simple.  Every time that The Doctor moves, the Daleks move:

If a Dalek touches you, the game is over.  The only way to eliminate a Dalek is to get it to run into another Dalek.  It is not easy but it can be done, as my high score of 30 attests.  It took me a while to get over my disappointment that the Daleks in the game did not say “Exterminate!” but if you can overlook that, Daleks is an addictive and challenging game.