Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990.  The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Ryan, Mickey, and Jack all end up going undercover at an ancient monastery, where one of the monks is using a cursed pen to take out anyone who annoys him.

Episode 1.2 “The Poison Pen”

(Directed by Timothy Bond, originally aired on October 10th, 1987)

The second episode of Friday the 13th: The Series begins at an ancient monastery that is run by a religious order known as The Brotherhood.  (It’s never explicitly stated what denomination the Brotherhood belongs too.  Their practices seem to be an odd mix of Buddhism and Anglicanism.)  The Abbott has gone to top the roof of the monastery.  He suddenly starts to float in the air.  He thinks that he’s having a religious experience but, just as suddenly, he crashes down to the ground and is killed.

At the antique store, Jack sees a story in the newspaper about the Abbott’s death and he immediately realizes that someone at the monastery purchased a cursed pen from the store.  The pen can be used to kill.  All one has to do is write out how they want the death to happen (preferably in as florid language as possible) and then write down the name of their victim.  That’s a powerful pen and obviously, it must be retrieved!

So, of course, Ryan and Micki have to go undercover as young monks.  However, since it’s The Brotherhood and not the Sisterhood, Micki will have to pretend to be male which means tying back her hair, taking a vow of silence, and allowing Ryan to bind her chest.  Jack forges a letter of introduction, though you have to wonder why he didn’t just go undercover with Ryan instead of forcing Micki to go through the trouble of trying to pass for a male.

Ryan and Micki move into the monastery and try to figure out which of the monks owns the pen.  Unfortunately, they don’t do a very good job of it and two more monks are tragically killed, one suffocated in his bed while the other is beheaded by a guillotine that just happens to be in a storage room for some reason.  In fact, Ryan and Micki prove to be so ineffective that Jack is eventually forced to go undercover as well.

Eventually, the owner of the pen is revealed to be Brother Le Croix (Colin Fox), who makes the mistake of writing out Jack, Micki, and Ryan’s death warrant on a piece of paper that already has his name on it.  This leads to Brother Le Croix getting a guillotine blade to the back, finally bringing his reign of terror to an end.  Ryan and Jack return the pen to the antique store and Micki finally gets to let down her hair and wear a bra again.

I personally think this episode would have been more effective if it had aired later in the season because a good deal of the episode’s humor depended on the idea of Jack, Micki, and Ryan all knowing each other extremely well.  Instead, since this is just the second episode, it seems reasonable that Jack barely knows either Micki and Ryan, which makes some of his overly familiar interactions with them feel a bit odd.  Unless there was a year-long time skip between the pilot and the second episode, it just doesn’t seem like everyone should be as comfortable around Jack as they are.

As for the episode’s premise, it was all a bit silly.  The main problem is that the pen was so powerful that you have to kind of wonder why Brother Le Croix didn’t just use it as soon as he became suspicious of the new monks.  Instead, he waited until everyone was gathered in the same room as the guillotine and then he forced them to watch as he wrote out how he wanted them to die and then, he actually announced, “Now, I just have to write down your names!”  Why didn’t he write down their names first?  It seems like evil was defeated less to due to the actions of our heroes and more because our villain was a true idiot.

Oh well.  The important thing is that the pen will write no more!

Next week: Jack, Micki, and Ryan go to college in an episode directed by Atom Egoyan!