Today’s horror on the lens is the 1995 Italian film, Cruel Jaws!
As you’ll quickly notice, though the actors speak in English, there are also Japanese subtitles. That’s because the film was barely released in the United States, for legal reasons. (Cruel Jaws is full of footage lifted from better-known shark films.) However, it was very popular in Japan.
This film was directed by the one and only Bruno Mattei. You can read my review here.
Today’s horror scene that I love comes from the 1997 French film, Two Orphan Vampires.
I knew that I really wanted to share a scene from Two Orphan Vampires on this date. It’s my favorite Jean Rollin film. Unfortunately, most of the really good scenes have been taken off of YouTube. That said, I do like the way Rollin uses the color blue in this scene and the opening image of those two blind vampires walking across the bridge is still a strong one. When viewed out of context, the attack on the poet may be seen weak but actually it’s just another example of Rollin’s dream-like aesthetic. If the attack on the poet seems fake, that may be because it wasn’t supposed to have really happened.
Watch the film and it’ll make sense.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.
This October, I am going to be using our 4 Shots From 4 Films feature to pay tribute to some of my favorite horror directors, in alphabetical order! That’s right, we’re going from Argento to Zombie in one month!
Today’s director: Jacques Tourneur!
4 Shots From 4 Films
Cat People (1942, dir by Jacques Tourneur)
I Walked With A Zombie (1943, dir by Jacques Tourneur)
The Leopard Man (1943, dir by Jacques Tourneur)
Night of the Demon (1957, dir by Jacques Tourneur)
This 1966 western/horror hybrid is just about as stupid as you think it is but it’s also a lot of fun if you’re in the right mood. Notorious outlaw Jesse James (John Lupton) attempts to hold up a stagecoach but, in the process, his hulking partner Hank (Cal Bolder) is serious wounded. Some helpful peasants direct Jesse and Hank to the mysterious German doctor who happens to live in a nearby dark and scary house. That doctor is Maria Frankenstein (Narda Onyx) and she’s been conducting experiments to bring dead Mexicans back to life. Imagine her joy when the nearly dead Hank shows up at her laboratory. Anyway, Maria performs a brain transplant on Hank and once Hank comes back to life, she informs him that his new name is “Igor.” Yes, she does. That plot description pretty much tells you everything you need to know about the movie but I vaguely enjoyed vaguely paying attention to it. Maria’s German accent is hilariously overdone, the Frankenstein laboratory is full of pointless electrical things, and a character dies halfway through the film just to later show up again with no explanation. It’s that type of movie.
And it’s also the type of movie that you can watch below!
Enjoy!
(Lisa is not just watching horror movies! She is also trying to clean out her DVR! She has got over 200 movies that she needs to watch before January 1st! Will she make it? Keep checking here to find out! She recorded My Daughter Is Missing off of Lifetime on June 25th!)
My Daughter Is Missing and Liam Neeson is nowhere to be seen!
Fortunately, Sara (Miranda Raison) was in Belgrade when her daughter was kidnapped by a Serbian human trafficking ring. Even more importantly, Sara is a former computer hacker and, in the world of Lifetime, there is literally nothing that the internet cannot do.
Need to view the security footage of your daughter being kidnapped from the club?
Use the internet!
Need to find out who is behind human trafficking in Eastern Europe?
Use the internet!
Need to figure out who you can trust or who you can’t?
The internet will explain all!
The other thing about Lifetime films is that mom will always be proven right. Sara told her daughter to be careful. Her daughter wasn’t and now, she’s about to be sold to the highest bidder. Sara told the cops that her daughter had been kidnapped. The cops didn’t believe her and now Sara’s going to find the proof on her own. Fortunately, she knows how to use a computer and, as we’ve already established, computers are magic.
To be honest, Sara really should have been named “Mary Sue” because she is one of the biggest Mary Sues that I’ve ever seen on Lifetime. Not only does she have a tragic and dramatic backstory but the main theme of the movie appears to be that everyone in the entire world is stupid except for Sara. Whenever Sara uses the internet to prove everyone wrong, you can be sure that at least one person is going to say, “No one should ever have doubted you, Sara.”
(My favorite part of the movie is when Sara tracks down the web site for the auction and all the “hackers” standing behind her gasp in amazement and say stuff like, “She’s on the dark web.”)
Anyway, this movie was shot on location in Belgrade. That does add a little authenticity to the film, though it doesn’t last long. There’s a line towards the end of the film, where a sympathetic character points out that there’s more to Belgrade than just political corruption and sex rings. That was nice of him to say because, otherwise, the movie probably isn’t going to do much for the tourism industry.
I ended up throwing a high heel in the direction of the TV while I was watching My Daughter Is Missing. That’s my favorite way of expressing displeasure. I guess the plot of My Daughter Is Missing would be intriguing if I had never seen Taken but I have seen Taken and this movie was a pure substitute. Not only is the plot predictable but Sara is literally too perfect. It’s hard not to get annoyed with her — and only her — being right all the time while every other person in the movie was portrayed as being either evil or willfully ignorant. By the end of the movie, I was expecting someone to declare, “You’re the best mom ever!”
I should admit, however, that the movie didn’t go that far. Maybe they’re saving it for the sequel.
Today’s horror scene that I love comes from the 1994 Italian film, Dellamorte Dellamore.
Viewed out of context from the rest of the film, this is not an easy scene to explain. My suggestion is enjoy it for the beauty of the images and Rupert Everett’s mournful performance. And, if you haven’t seen it, watch Dellamorte Dellamore as soon as possible.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.
This October, I am going to be using our 4 Shots From 4 Films feature to pay tribute to some of my favorite horror directors, in alphabetical order! That’s right, we’re going from Argento to Zombie in one month!
Today’s director: the brilliant Michele Soavi!
4 Shots From 4 Films
Stage Fright (1987, dir by Michele Soavi)
The Church (1989, dir by Michele Soavi)
The Sect (1991, dir by Michele Soavi)
Dellamorte Dellamore (1994, dir by Michele Soavi)
When it comes to bad movies from the 70s, you have to love a movie like 1976’s Track of the Moonbeast. This film takes place in New Mexico and tells the story of Paul (Chase Cordel), a slow-talking mineralogist who gets a chunk of moon rock lodged into his brain. As a result, he turns into a gigantic lizard and goes around killing people. His only hope appears to be his old friend, the stoic Profession Johnny Longbow (Gregorio Sala), who knows all sorts of indian lore. He also knows how to make stew and early on in the film, he gives a world-weary monologue about what ingredients he puts in his stew. (Onions, mostly). Anyway, this is an awful, awful film that’s full of bad acting, bad special effects, and dumb dialogue. It’s also a lot of fun and it features the guy pictured below singing a song called California Lady that totally got stuck in my head. I loved Track of the Moon Beast.
Enjoy!
(Lisa is not just watching horror movies! She is also trying to clean out her DVR! She has got over 200 movies that she needs to watch before January 1st! Will she make it? Keep checking here to find out! She recorded One Small Indiscretion off of Lifetime Movie Network on September 2nd!)
I learned a few things from watching One Small Indiscretion.
First off, and most importantly, I learned that there is no such thing as a “small” indiscretion. In this film, Caroline (Ashley Winters) has a brief affair while separated from her husband, Sam (Cru Ennis). When Caroline and Sam get back together, she tries to forget that the whole thing even happened. Six years later, Caroline tells her best friend that she isn’t even sure what eventually became of her former lover. However, we know that he ended up killing both himself and his alcoholic wife. For Caroline, it was a small indiscretion but, for a little girl named Elle, it was a tragedy that took away her parents.
Secondly, if you work hard and marry well, you can eventually live in a really big house that has a pool, a jacuzzi, and a guest house. However, if you work too hard, all of the romance will go out of your marriage and soon, you won’t even be using the pool after a couple of years.
Third, if you own a guest house, you are required by the laws of plot contrivance to rent it out.
Fourth, if you do rent out your guest house, there’s a good chance that it will lead to someone from the past tracking you down. In this case, it’s Elle (Tiera Skovbye). Elle is now 21 years old and eager to avenge the death of her parents but destroying Caroline’s life. Though she may be young, Elle is already an evil genius.
Actually, I guess it’s debatable as to whether or not Elle is that smart. It’s entirely possible that Elle only seems smart because everyone else in the movie is incredibly stupid. From the minute Elle moves into that guest house, she’s manipulating and seducing. She’s taking naked midnight swims. She’s encouraging Caroline and Sam’s son, Logan (Johnny Visotcky), to skip college. She doesn’t make much of an effort to hide what she’s trying to do and yet, Caroline soon decides that Elle is going to be her new BFF. It’s actually kind of hard not to be on Elle’s side. Elle’s methods may be extreme and she does get more and more psycho as the movie unfolds but Caroline and Sam are so bourgeois that it’s difficult to have much sympathy for them. Add to that, Elle’s an artist. She draws. If you side with the non-artists over the the artist, that means you’re doing life wrong.
But back to what I learned from One Small Indiscretion:
Fifth, it’s not that difficult to bug a house.
Sixth, search engines are like magic.
Seventh, it’s easy to knock people out.
Eighth, Canada is a beautiful country.
Anyway, One Small Indiscretion is a thoroughly predictable Lifetime film. The best role in these films is always the psycho and Tiera Skovbye plays Elle as if even she can’t believe how stupid everyone else in the film is. Elle is having so much fun being evil that you can’t help but be happy that she received the opportunity. She may be the villain but you’ll totally be Team Elle when you watch One Small Indiscretion.
Today’s horror scene that I love is from 1992’s Candyman.
For the record, after watching this film, I stood in front of a mirror and I said Candyman three times. I’m waiting until I have something to be mad about before I say it two more times.
