Playing Catch-Up: Beatriz at Dinner (dir by Miguel Arteta)


Beatriz at Dinner is very much a film of the moment, which is a polite way of saying that it’s not very good but it does accurately reflect the way that a lot of people are feeling right now.  I imagine that’s the main reason why it’s received a good deal of critical acclaim.  It was even cited, by the National Board of Review, as one of the top ten independent films of the year.  By 2019, I doubt anyone will even remember that this film exists.

Salma Hayek plays the title character.  Beatriz is a massage therapist in Los Angeles.  She’s not having a good day.  Not only has her neighbor killed one of her goats but, while she’s at the house of one of her wealthy clients, her car suddenly won’t start.  Beatriz says that she can call a friend to come pick her up but that he won’t be able to show up until after he gets off work.  Beatriz’s client, Kathy (Connie Britton), invites Beatriz to stay for dinner.

Kathy is a familiar type.  She’s the rich, privileged white woman who probably brags about how nice she is to her maid.  Kathy’s husband (David Warshofsky) may not want Beatriz to stay but Kathy feels that they owe a debt to Beatriz because Beatriz helped their daughter recover after she was treated for cancer.  Kathy not only insists that Beatriz stay for dinner but she also asks Beatriz to not only stay the night but also to sing everyone a song after they’ve eaten.  As Kathy’s rich friends start to arrive for dinner, Kathy treats Beatriz like a prop, blithely unaware of how awkward Beatriz feels around her guests.

The main dinner guest is an arrogantly vulgar businessman named Doug Strutt (John Lithgow).  Doug is best known for building hotels, forcing poor people off of their land, and constantly bragging about how rich and famous he is.  He is even working on a memoir.  (In perhaps Beatriz at Dinner‘s only show of restraint, the film does not make him a reality show host.)  The first time that Doug sees Beatriz, he assumes that she must be a maid and asks her to get him a drink.  When Beatriz later launches into a monologue about her childhood in Mexico and how she first came to the United States, Doug interrupts to boorishly ask if she came legally.  Whenever anyone admonishes Doug for being rude, he merely laughs it off and says that he doesn’t mean to be offensive.  He’s just telling it like it is.

Hmmmm … I wonder who Doug is supposed to be a stand-in for?

Anyway, this all sounds promising enough but Beatriz at Dinner doesn’t really do much with this material.  Just as with his previous overrated film, Cedar Rapids, director Miguel Arteta fails to generate any sort of narrative momentum.  Basically, the entire film is Doug saying something offensive and Beatriz glaring at him.  We keep waiting for Beatriz to blow up but when she finally does start to talk back to Doug, it’s anti-climatic.  The dialogue suddenly starts to feel forced and unnatural.  Doug goes from being a disturbingly credible vulgarian to just being another comic book villain and, as a result, Beatriz’s speech feels almost as empty as an angry thread of tweets.  When Beatriz does take more concrete action towards Doug, the film ruins it all with an obvious twist that is nowhere close to being as profound as the filmmakers seem to think it is.  If Beatriz at Dinner was truly as revolutionary as it seems to think it is, that twist wouldn’t be there.

(Buñuel and Godard, who are both obvious influences on Beatriz at Dinner, would dismiss the twist as bourgeois bullshit.)

In the lead role, Salma Hayek is good but not great.  There’s really not much depth to Beatriz as a character.  She functions more as a symbol than as a human being.  (In many ways, the filmmakers treats Beatriz much in the same way that Kathy treats Beatriz, as a prop.)  John Lithgow steals the entire movie, giving the only performance that actually shows a hint of real and dangerous charisma.  As hateful a person as Doug may be, he is truthful about one thing.  He is the only character in the movie who always says exactly what is on his mind.  Lithgow plays Doug as not just a vulgarian but also as someone who is proud of being vulgar and who specifically goes out of his way to see how offensive he can be.  At times, Lithgow is the only member of the cast actually bringing any life to this stifling bore of a film.  Unfortunately, Lithgow is so good that he overpowers the rest of the cast.  When Beatriz rebukes him, Hayek delivers her lines with a heartfelt fury that briefly threatens to rescue the movie from Doug but all Lithgow has to do is smirk and just like that, he’s taken the movie back from her.

For a lot of people, the appeal of Beatriz at Dinner is that Doug is obviously meant to be Trump and Beatriz says everything that they wish they could say.  They see Beatriz’s frustration and anger and they immediately recognize it as being their frustration and anger.  That’s a perfectly legitimate and understandable reaction but that doesn’t necessarily make Beatriz at Dinner a good film.  It just makes it a film of the moment.

The National Board of Review Honors Greta Gerwig, The Disaster Artist, Get Out, and Wonder Woman!


The National Board of Review has spoken and the Oscar season has truly begun!

Here’s what won:

Best Picture: The Post

Best Director: Greta Gerwig for Lady Bird

Best Actor: Tom Hanks in The Post

Best Actress: Meryl Streep in The Post

Best Supporting Actor: Willem DaFoe in The Florida Project

Best Supporting Actress: Laurie Metcalf in Lady Bird

Best Original Screenplay: Paul Thomas Anderson for Phantom Thread

Best Adapted Screenplay: Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber for The Disaster Artist

Best Animated Feature: Coco

Best Documentary Feature: Jane

Best Foreign Language Film: Foxtrot

Best Ensemble: Get Out

Breakthrough Performer: Timothée Chalamet in Call Me By Your Name

Best Directorial Debut: Jordan Peele for Get Out

NBR Spotlight Award: Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins for their collaboration on Wonder Woman

NBR Freedom of Expression Award: First They Killed My Father and Let It Fall: Los Angeles 1982–1992

Top 10 Films of 2017 (in alphabetical Order):

  1. Baby Driver
  2. Call Me By Your Name
  3. The Disaster Artist
  4. Downsizing
  5. Dunkirk
  6. The Florida Project
  7. Get Out
  8. Lady Bird
  9. Logan
  10. Phantom Thread

Top 10 Independent Films of 2017:

  1. Beatriz at Dinner
  2. Brigsby Bear
  3. A Ghost Story
  4. Lady MacBeth
  5. Logan Lucky
  6. Loving Vincent
  7. Menashae
  8. Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
  9. Patti Cake$
  10. Wind River

Top 5 Documentaries:

  1. Abacus: Small Enough to Jail
  2. Brimstone & Glory
  3. Eric Clapton: Life in 12 Bars
  4. Faces Places
  5. Hell on Earth: The Fall of Syria and the Rise of Isis

Top 5 Foreign Language Films:

  1. A Fantastic Woman
  2. Franzt
  3. Loveless
  4. Summer 1993
  5. The Square

James Franco Wins At The Gothams!


Hi, everyone!

Well, as I sit here typing this, I am eagerly awaiting the announcement of the National Board of Review’s picks for the best of 2017!  I keep thinking about how, in 2015, nobody took Mad Max: Fury Road seriously as an Oscar contender until it was named best picture by the NBR.  What the NBR does today will go a long way to determining whether this is an exciting Oscar season or a boring Oscar season.

However, the National Board of Review are not the only people who have been tabulating votes over the past few days.  Last night, the Gotham Awards were handed out in New York City.  The Gothams, which honor independent films, have lately been a pretty good indicator of what will, at the very least, receive a nomination in January.  Based on last night’s results, it looks like it could be a good year for Call Me By Your Name, Get Out, Saoirse Ronan, and James Franco!

You can check out the nominees here.  And you can see the winners below!

Best Feature — Call Me By Your Name

Best Documentary Feature — Strong Island

Audience Award — Get Out

Bingham Ray Breakthrough Director Award: Jordan Peele, Get Out

Best Screenplay: Jordan Peele, Get Out

Best Actor: James Franco, The Disaster Artist

Best Actress: Saorise Ronan, Lady Bird

Special Jury Award for Ensemble Performance: “Mudbound,” presented to Carey Mulligan, Garrett Hedlund, Jason Clarke, Jason Mitchell, Mary J. Blige, Rob Morgan, and Jonathan Banks

Made in NY Honoree: Michael K. Williams

Breakthrough Actor: Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me by Your Name”

Breakthrough Series — Long Form: Atlanta

Breakthrough Series — Short Form: The Strange Eyes of Dr. Myes

 

Artwork of the Day: America 3000


America!

Back toe beginning?  Of just the country or of humanity itself?  Judging from this poster, it looks like both.  Are there any post-nuke adventures that aren’t outrageous?  It’s a legitimate question, I think.

Anyway, this is a poster for a film that came out in 1989.

Artwork of the Day: You Will Always Have A Full House When You Show Fantomas!


I was doing some research on the history of French cinema for an upcoming series of reviews and I came across this charming little advertisement from 1916. I guess this was sent to theater owners to encourage them to show Fantomas.

Would  I show Fantomas is I got this in the mail?  I sure would!  I’d even hire someone to dress up like Fantomas and deal cards outside the theater.  If only I had been born 100 years earlier…

 

Artwork of the Day: 101 Acts of Love


The hour is late so I won’t say too much about this poster for this 1971 film.  According to the Grindhouse Database, this movie only has a 46 minute running time so it must have been 101 very quick acts of love.

I like the fact that the quote from “Dr. Ann Foster” doesn’t actually say anything about the movie, just the subject matter.  Why, it’s almost as if Dr Foster was just some randomly quoted person who, in all probability, never actually saw the movie!

Artwork of the Day: Terror From Under The House


This poster is for a 1971 film called Terror From Under The House.  I haven’t actually seen this film.  Normally, I would look at this poster and assume that it must be about a monster living in a basement but this is 70s exploitation that were talking about.  Just because its featured on the poster doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily going to be in the film.

Apparently, Terror From Under The House was just one of the many titles used by this film.  It’s also known as:

  1. Revenge
  2. Behind the Cellar Door
  3. After Jenny Died
  4. Inn of the Frightened People
  5. I ekdikisis (which means “The Revenge” in Greek)
  6. Il passo dell’assassino (which means “The Killer Steps” in Italian)
  7. Miedo sangriento (“Bloody Fear” in Spanish)
  8. Violence en Sous-Sol (“Violence in the Basement” in French)

The main thing that I noticed about this poster was that apparently, audiences were forced to accept the “Free Screaming Teeth of Terror” as proof that this movie was so frightening that watching it could lead to death.  I’m not sure what exactly that means but this film was rated PG so, honestly, how scary could it be?

Someday, I’ll watch it and let you know.

Artwork of the Day: The Bonnie Parker Story


 

This poster is for the 1958 film, The Bonnie Parker Story.  That’s right — this film predates the better known Bonnie and Clyde by about 9 years.  Dorothy Provine was cast in the title role and, judging from this poster, it looks like her Bonnie was even more dangerous than Faye Dunaway’s!  Apparently, in this film (which I haven’t seen yet), Clyde was renamed Guy.

(Bonnie and Guy doesn’t quite have the right ring to it, does it?)

Anyway, it’s a good poster, one that is direct and in your face.  That’s something I always appreciate about any film poster.  Plus, there’s that tag line!

Cigar smoking hellcat of the roaring twenties!

Hell yeah!  Now that’s a tag line!

Artwork of the Day: Pay or Die


(Hi everyone!  Usually, my sister — the Dazzling Erin Nicole — tracks down and selects the images that we feature in our Artwork of the Day feature.  However, Erin is taking the week off — and November 24th is not only the day after Thanksgiving but her birthday as well!, so be sure to wish her a happy one! — so, for the next few days, I’ll be selecting our artwork of the day! — Lisa Marie)

Look at those bricks fly!

Listen, I really can’t tell you a thing about whether or not Pay or Die is a good movie or not.  All I know is that the film was released in 1979, it was rated R, and this was the poster.  It’s a tremendously effective poster, though.  I don’t know if it’s a fair representation of what happens in the movie, of course.  But I hope it is.  I hope there’s at least one scene featuring two men and a woman kicking the Hell out of a brick wall.

Posters like this are actually a huge reason why I enjoy researching grindhouse films.  Just looking at it is enough to inspire you to create your own movie in your head.  Why are they kicking through the wall?  Why are they even working together?  Why is the movie called Pay or Die?  Do they own someone money?  Does someone owe them money?  Maybe they’re kicking through the wall of a bank.  The possibilities are endless!

I will say this, though.  If I ever did use my bare hands to smash through a brick wall, I’d probably try to make sure that my boobs were a little better protected when I did it.  Seriously, I imagine breaking through a wall, especially one made of bricks, is not as safe as they make it look in the movies.  Considering all of the kicking that appears to be involved, I would also probably not wear open-toed sandals while doing it either.  That just seems like common sense to me.

Film Review: The Emoji Movie (dir by Tony Leondis)


 

The Emoji Movie is basically Inside Out, except instead of taking place inside of an awkward teen’s head, it takes place inside of an awkward teen’s phone.  Instead of sharing a universal story about the pain of growing up, it shares a universal story about the pain of having too many lame apps on your phone.  Instead of featuring a melancholy voice performance by Richard Kind as a forgotten toy, it features an annoying voice performance from James Corden as a forgotten emoji.  Instead of being really wise, funny, and sad, the Emoji Movie is dumb, stupid, and idiotic.  Otherwise, it’s just like Inside Out.

Gene (voiced by T.J. Miller) is a Meh Emoji.  He lives in Textopolis.  His job is to look like he’s always meh but instead, he’s always full of emotion and positivity.  His boss, Smiler (Maya Rudolph), says that Gene must be a malfunction and therefore, he has to be deleted.  Gene says, “No, I must discover who I actually am!”  With the help of the forgotten hand emoji, Hi-5 (that would be James Corden), Gene flees from app to app.  (It’s kinda like The Lego Movie but not funny, touching, or clever.)  They track down a hacker named Jailbreak (Anna Faris) and, at one point, they’re all rescued by a blue bird that comes flying over from the Twitter app.  They’re all chased by a bunch of bots and I have to admit that I liked the bots just because they were trying to destroy Gene and Hi-5.  Anything that would have ended James Corden’s lameass Ricky Gervais imitation would have been fine with me.

Nobody (or, at the very least, nobody who writes for this site) is as enthusiastic a capitalist as I am but the naked commercialism of The Emoji Movie really tested my patience.  Essentially, it’s just an 86-minute advertisement with a vapid “Be yourself!” message tacked on.  (If The Emoji Movie was sincere in its message of individuality, it wouldn’t celebrate the idea of people communicating exclusively in emoji.)  Early on, when Gene and Hi-5 escaped into Candy Crush, I rolled my eyes.  Later on, when an awed Gene said, “This is Spotify?”, I nearly threw a shoe at the TV.

(I did enjoy the scene where the Just Dance app got deleted, just because the dancer — who was voiced by Christina Aguilera — let out a terrifying scream as the app collapsed around her.  I’ve always imagined that’s what happens whenever I delete anything.)

Usually, I try to force myself to come up with at least 500 words for every review that I write but the really does seem to be more effort than this movie deserves.  (I was actually tempted to write this review exclusive in emoji but then I realized I was just be playing the movie’s game.)  I will say this: children will like The Emoji Movie because children are stupid.  Ask them again in five years and this will be their response: