Catching Up With The Films of 2022: White Elephant (dir by Jesse V. Johnson)


White Elephant is not that bad.  In fact, for a B-action movie it’s actually pretty good.  If nothing else, it featured one of Michael Rooker’s best performances.

It’s important to start out this review by making that clear because I think a lot of people are going to be tempted to judge this film based solely on the fact that this was one of the last films that Bruce Willis made before his family announced that he would be retiring from acting due to health reasons.  When the big story was published in the L.A. Times about Willis’s recent struggles and how those struggles led to him accepting countless roles in straight-to-video fare like American Siege, several people who worked on White Elephant were quoted, with many saying that Willis always did his best but that he was definitely not the Willis that they all remembered.  The film’s director, action maestro Jesse V. Johnson, publicly stated that he would not make another film with Willis because “the arrangement felt wrong” and that Willis deserved a better end to his career.

And it must be said that Bruce is obviously not himself in White Elephant.  As with many of his recent films, Bruce is cast as a villain in this piece.  He’s a crime lord named Arnold and he spends the majority of his time taking meetings and giving order to his underlings.  Eventually, he does pick up a gun and fire it but there’s very little of the cocky attitude and swaggering charisma that made Bruce Willis into a superstar.  He still has the physical presence to play a tough guy.  Bruce Willis still looks intimidating and the film uses him sparingly, never allowing us to spend too much time focusing on how different he seems from the Bruce Willis who starred in Die Hard and Pulp Fiction.  One never gets the feeling that Bruce is being deliberately exploited in White Elephant, that alone sets it above some of the other recent films that have featured Willis.  But, at the same time, Arnold is a fairly generic bad guy.

Fortunately, the majority of the film follows Michael Rooker in the role of a far more interesting criminal.  Rooker plays Gabe Tancredi, a former Marine turned hitman.  He’s about as ruthless as they come but he still has enough of a code of ethics that he realizes that he can’t kill a police officer named Vanessa (Olga Kurylenko), no matter how much Arnold wants her dead.  Ordered to kill her, Gabe instead protects her, which leads to Arnold sending all of his men after them.  It leads to several shootouts and explosions as Gabe puts his life at risk to finally do the right thing.

It’s a simple story but it’s told well.  Jesse V. Johnson started out as a stuntman and he clearly knows his way around an action scene and the final shootout in genuinely exciting.  The film is also helped by Michael Rooker, who brings a good deal of unexpected depth to the role of Gabe.  Even though Rooker obviously knew that White Elephant was a B-movie, he still refuses to phone in a single minute of his performance and, instead, he turns Gabe into a surprisingly complex killer.  Gabe’s relationships with his agent Glen (John Malkovich), his protegee Carlos (Vadhir Debrez), and Vanessa are all genuinely interesting.  I especially liked the early scenes between Rooker and Debrez, in which the two actors wonderfully play off of each other and we get the feeling Carlos is almost like a son to Gabe.  Of course, being genre savvy, we know that Carlos is eventually going to be assigned to take Gabe down but, because their friendship seemed so real, we find ourselves dreading that confrontation.  White Elephant is a B-movie but, much like last year’s Corrective Measures and Gasoline Alley, it’s a B-movie with a heart.

Scenes That I Love: Happy New Year From The Poseidon


Happy new year!

With 2023 coming in like a tidal wave, it only seem fitting that the first scene that I love for this year should come from 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure.  Just as how Die Hard has recently been acclaimed as one of the great Christmas films, The Poseidon Adventures is one of the best of the New Year’s Day films.  It’s also perhaps the only film in which Gene Hackman managed to overact more than even Ernest Borgnine.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  It’s a strong competition between two great actors, neither of whom was known for being particularly subtle when it came to barking out their lines.  But, in the end, Hackman still managed to take the overacting crown for this film.

(That said, what’s New Year’s Day without Borgnine shouting, “Where’s your God now, Preach-ah!?”)

In the scene below, the passengers ring in the new year while Leslie Nielsen faces the tidal wave that will soon turn the boat upside down.  Whatever else you may want to say about this particular film, it does a great job of contrasting the celebrations in the ballroom with the dread on the bridge.  While everyone else is counting down and celebrating and mugging for the camera, Nielsen can only stare in stoic horror as the wave approaches.  He does the only thing that a captain can do.  He sounds the alarm.  He sends out an S.O.S.  Unfortunately, the alarm can barely be hard over the celebrations of the new year and the S.O.S. man is quickly swept away by the crashing of the wave.

The scene goes from celebrating the future to highlighting the type of old-fashioned, nature-fueled destruction that has been wiping out civilizations since the beginning of time.  It doesn’t matter how many plans you’ve made.  It doesn’t matter how rich  you are.  It doesn’t matter how safe you feel or how much you cling to the furniture as the world turns upside down.  Fate, whether it’s in the form of a wave or some other natural disaster, is pitiless.  That’s one reason why disaster movies, as melodramatic as they could often be, so entranced audiences.  Everyone knew that it would just as easily happen to them.  Just as no one expected the tidal wave on New Year’s, no one would be expecting to leave the theater to be confronted by an earthquake or a tornado.  But it could definitely happen.  Life, like society, is a fragile thing.  If not even Gene Hackman, Stella Stevens, Shelley Winters, and Roddy McDowall could make it to the end of the movie, what hope is there for anyone?  Of course, the thing to remember is that they may not have made it but Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Carol Lynley, and a few others did.  They survived, though I imagine they spent the rest of their lives dreading January 1st.

Needless to say, neither the passage of time nor the wave can be escaped.  As much as we may have things left to do in 2022, it’s too late now. 2023 is here and the world has moved on.

Lisa Marie’s Oscar Predictions for December


Here they are!  These are my final Oscar predictions for 2022.  The critics groups have certainly helped to show us which films are major contenders.  That said, the Guilds are even more important so I can’t wait to see who they nominate and honor in January.

be sure to check out my predictions for FebruaryMarchAprilMayJuneJulyAugustSeptember, October, and November!

Best Picture

Avatar: The Way of Water

Babylon

The Banshees of Inisherin

Elvis

Everything Everywhere All At Once

The Fabelmans

Tar

Top Gun: Maverick

The Woman King

Women Talking

Best Director

Todd Field for TAR

Baz Luhrmann for Elvis

Martin McDonagh for The Banshees of Inisherin

Sarah Polley for Women Talking

Steven Spielberg for The Fabelmans

Best Actor

Austin Butler in Elvis

Tom Cruise in Top Gun: Maverick

Colin Farrell in The Banshees of Inisherin

Brendan Fraser in The Whale

Gabriel LaBelle in The Fabelmans

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett in TAR

Viola Davis in The Woman King

Danielle Deadwyler in Till

Michelle Williams in The Fabelmans

Michelle Yeoh in Everything Everywhere All At Once

Best Supporting Actor

Brendan Gleeson for The Banshees of Inisherin

Judd Hirsch in The Fabelmans

Barry Keoghan in The Banshees of Inisherin

Ke Huy Quan in Everything Everywhere All At Once

Brad Pitt in Babylon

Best Supporting Actress

Jessie Buckley in Woman Talking

Kerry Condon in The Banshees of Inisherin

Jamie Lee Curtis in Everything Everywhere All At Once

Dolly de Leon in Triangle of Sadness

Janelle Monáe in Glass Onion

The Greater Western New York Film Critics Association Rewards Banshees!


The Greater Western New York Film Critics Association have announced their winners for the best of 2022!

And here they are:

BEST PICTURE
Babylon
The Banshees of Inisherin
The Batman
Decision to Leave
Everything Everywhere All at Once
The Fabelmans
Nope
Tár
Top Gun: Maverick
Women Talking

BEST FOREIGN FILM
Athena (France)
Decision to Leave (South Korea)
EO (Poland)
Happening (France)
RRR (India)

BEST DOCUMENTARY
All the Beauty and the Bloodshed
Fire of Love
Good Night Oppy
Moonage Daydream
Sr.

BEST ANIMATED FILM
Apollo 101⁄2: A Space Age Childhood
Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
Turning Red

BEST DIRECTOR
Todd Field, Tár
Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin
Park Chan-wook, Decision to Leave
Charlotte Wells, Aftersun

LEAD ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett, Tár
Danielle Deadwyler, Till
Mia Goth, Pearl
Margot Robbie, Babylon
Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at Once

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin
Dolly De Leon, Triangle of Sadness
Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Janelle Monáe, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Keke Palmer, Nope

LEAD ACTOR
Austin Butler, Elvis
Diego Calva, Babylon
Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin
Brendan Fraser, The Whale
Paul Mescal, Aftersun

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin
Brian Tyree Henry, Causeway
Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin
Eddie Redmayne, The Good Nurse
Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at Once

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Todd Field, Tár
Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin
Park Chan-wook & Jeong Seo-kyeong, Decision to Leave
Charlotte Wells, Aftersun

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Guillermo del Toro & Patrick McHale / Guillermo del Toro & Matthew Robbins (story), Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
Samuel D. Hunter, The Whale
Rian Johnson, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
David Kajganich, Bones and All
Sarah Polley and Miriam Toews, Women Talking

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Ben Davis, The Banshees of Inisherin
Florian Hoffmeister, Tár
Claudio Miranda, Top Gun: Maverick
Linus Sandgren, Babylon
Hoyte Van Hoytema, Nope

BEST EDITING
Tom Cross, Babylon
Eddie Hamilton, Top Gun: Maverick
Paul Rogers, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Matt Villa & Jonathan Redmond, Elvis
Monika Willi, Tár

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Carter Burwell, The Banshees of Inisherin
Alexandre Desplat, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
Michael Giacchino, The Batman
Hildur Guðnadóttir, Women Talking
Justin Hurwitz, Babylon

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
Vanessa Burghardt, Cha Cha Real Smooth
Austin Butler, Elvis
Frankie Corio, Aftersun
Danielle Deadwyler, Till
Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once

BREAKTHROUGH DIRECTOR
Audrey Diwan, Happening
Damien Leone, Terrifier 2
Lila Neugebauer, Causeway
Chloe Okuno, Watcher
Charlotte Wells, Aftersun

What Lisa Marie and Megan Watched Last Night #225: Mommy’s Little Star (dir by Curtis Crawford)


Last night, my sister Megan and I watched Mommy’s Little Star on the Lifetime Movie Network!

Why Were We Watching It?

For the past week and a half, I’ve been visiting my sister Megan and her family.  This is kind of our holiday tradition.  Everyone gets together for Christmas and then, from Christmas Day to New Year, Megan and I catch up and bond and talk about how we’re feeling about the past year and what we’re hoping to get out of the upcoming year.  Plus, we watch a lot of TV and movies!

I’ve always loved watching movies with my family and I especially love Lifetime movies.  (Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten to watch as much Lifetime as usual this year.)  So, when I saw that the Lifetime Movie Network was broadcasting something called Mommy’s Little Star, I literally fell on my knees and begged Megan to stay up and watch it with me.

What Was It About?

12 year-old Olivia (Maja Vujicic) thinks that she’s found a way bring her parents back together.  She’ll become a social media star by posting dancing videos online.  If she can get her mother, Lauren (Rebecca Amzallag), to appear in the videos with her, she’ll become an even bigger star and maybe even win a contest because people love to watch young influencers dance with their moms.

Lauren’s new boyfriend, Aiden (Roderick McNeil), offers to act as Olivia’s agent and to guide her to social media stardom.  Olivia is excited but soon, she becomes so addicted to being popular online that she starts neglect her friends, her schoolwork, and her well-meaning but strict nanny.  Meanwhile, Aiden is actually a con artist who is willing to go to any lengths, including murder!, to get what he wants.

What Worked?

I always enjoy a good Lifetime moral panic film.  This film had the typical Lifetime plot of the handsome but sinister man who was trying to take a daughter away from her loving parents but, to that, it also added a fear that I imagine many parents have, the fear of what their children might be doing online.  One thing that both Olivia’s mom and her father (played by David Lafontaine) had in common is that neither one of them was really sure what it was that Olivia was getting so excited about and watching them, I was reminded of my aunt’s reaction when I first tried to explain to her what Twitter was.  The film suggested that all of the trouble that Olivia and her family go through is worth it because it encourages Olivia to eventually take a break from social media.  It’s all rather silly and campy but that’s what makes Lifetime movies so much fun.

I really enjoyed Roderick McNeil’s performance as Aiden.  He had the whole charming sociopath act down to perfection.

What Did Not Work?

The film missed an opportunity by not having Olivia herself turn evil in her attempts to win the big contest.  Maybe Lifetime had already met their quota for murderous children by the time they got around to Mommy’s Little Star.

“OMG!  Just like me!” Moments

Right after my parents divorced, I had a fantasy that lasted for about two years where they would both come to see me performing with the New York City Ballet and they would be so moved by my dancing that they would get back together.  That never happened, of course, but still, I could relate to what Olivia was trying to do even if I didn’t quite agree with her methods.

Both Megan and I agreed that Rebecca Amzallag, who did a great job playing Olivia’s mother, looked just like our friend Lea so that was kind of neat.  We spent a lot of the film asking ourselves, “Is that what Lea would do?”

Lessons Learned

Social media is evil!

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Saturday Night Fever!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting the final #FridayNightFlix of 2022!  The movie? 1977’s Saturday Night Fever!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Saturday Night Fever is available on Prime and Paramount!  See you there!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Ruggero Deodato, Rest in Peace


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Ruggero Deodato, RIP

4 Shots From 4 Ruggeo Deodato Films

The House on the Edge of the Park (1980, dir by Ruggero Deodato)

Raiders of Atlantis (1983, dir by Ruggero Deodato)

Phantom of Death (1988, dir by Ruggero Deodato)

The Washing Machine (1993, dir by Ruggero Deodato)

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For The Contract and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 2006’s The Contract!  Selected by Matthew Titus, The Contract stars Morgan Freeman and John Cusack!

 

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  Tonight’s movie, starting at 10 pm et, will be 2000’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon!

 

It should make for a night of intense viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto twitter, start The Contract at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Hulu, start Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.  And reviews of these films will probably end up on this site at some point over the next few weeks. 

Film Review: After Ever Happy (dir by Castille Landon)


The fourth installment in the After franchise, After Ever Happy picks up where After We Fell ended.

The world’s most boring couple, Tessa Young (Josephine Langford) and Hardin Scott (Hero Fiennes Tiffin), are in London to attend Hardin’s mother’s latest wedding.  Unfortunately, Christian Vance (Stephen Moyer) takes this opportunity to reveal that he is actually Hardin’s father which leads to Hardin storming off and grabbing a bottle of whiskey.  If you’ve seen the previous three After films, then you know that’s a big problem because Hardin is a recovering alcoholic who turns into an asshole when he’s drunk.  Of course, Hardin’s usually an asshole when he’s sober as well.

Because Tessa really doesn’t have any life beyond chasing after Harin and trying to keep him from being self-destructive, Tessa chases after him and tries to keep him from doing anything self-destructive.  Unfortunately, since Harden’s already drunk, he decides that he might as well burn down his mother’s house and that’s exactly what Hardin does.  In most movies, this would be treated as Hardin going off the deep end and as evidence that Tessa should get a thousand miles away from him.  In the After films, every stupid, impulsive, and destructive thing that Hardin does is just an excuse for Tessa to comfort him by having soft-focus sex in a car.  In the world of the After films, every toxic relationship is a Dior commercial.

Not now, Natalie!

Anyway, After Ever Happy pretty much follows the exact same pattern as the previous three films.  After Tessa’s father dies, she moves to New York in order to heal and Hardin loses it.  Hardin follows her to New York.  Tessa takes him back.  Hardin explodes over some trivial issue.  Tessa forgives him.  Tessa tries to do something for herself.  Hardin gets mad.  Tessa forgives him.  Hardin tries to be a better person, which in this case means that he gives his scarf to an old homeless man whom Tessa has been giving food.  (Tessa explains that giving the homeless man food makes her feel better about losing her dad, which is another way of saying that she’s only helping him to make herself feel good.  If her Dad was still alive, the homeless man would probably end up freezing to death while Tessa and Hardin debated whether Fitzgerland was a better writer than Hemingway.  Maybe one of those schmucks could try to help the old homeless man find shelter or something.  That scarf’s only going to do so much.)  Hardin turns his journals into a novel, which is somehow published.  Tessa is angered that Hardin wrote about her without asking her permission and she leaves him.  Hardin’s book is acclaimed, despite the fact that the excerpt we hear sound terrible.  Hardin becomes an amateur boxer or something.  I’m not really sure what was up with that scene.  “To be continued….,” the title card announces, so maybe the next movie will feature more action in the ring.

A few questions sprang to mind as I watched After Ever Happy:

Why, after four movies, does Hardin still only have one facial expression?

See?  Just one.

What was going on with Tessa’s hair during the second half of the movie?

Seriously, Tessa’s hair was one of the few things that she had going for her and this movie took that away from her.

Finally, how is it that, after four films, the lead performers still have next to zero romantic chemistry?  You would think that, after three years of playing these people, Hero Fiennes Tiffin and Josephine Langford would at least have a little bit of a spark to their interactions but instead, they still come across as being friendly acquaintances as opposed to lovers.  There’s nothing about their performances that suggest that they know each other in a way that only two people who are deeply in love could know each other.  There’s none of the little details that one immediately spots between people who have shared trauma and found love.  Instead, every emotion and thought is on the surface.  There’s no depth to the relationship.  Hardin is toxic and whiney.  Tessa is the doormat that other doormats walk over.

Typically, with a film like this, critics will say that the cast does their best with the material they’ve been given but, in this case, everyone’s just as lousy as the material.  Say what you will about the 50 Shades Films, at least Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson appeared to be having fun.  The cast of After Ever Happy, from the stars on down, just seem to be hoping that it will soon all be over with.

Retro Television Reviews: Gidget’s Summer Reunion (dir by Bruce Bilson)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1985’s Gidget’s Summer Reunion!  It  can be viewed on Tubi!

Back in the 1970s, when the rest of the country was worrying about political corruption, inflation, and an out-of-touch president with an embarrassing family, Gidget, Jeff, and their friends were carefree California teenagers who spent all of their time either hanging out on the beach or running into the ocean with a surfboard.  It was a time when they had not a care in the world and, obviously, it couldn’t last forever.

Nearly 10 years later, Gidget (Caryn Richman) and Jeff (Dean Butler) are now married and their surfboards have been safely stored away in the garage.  Jeff works as an architect and it’s obvious that his new boss, Anne (Mary Frann), wants to make their professional relationship into something personal.  Gidget, meanwhile, owns her own travel agency and, apparently, it’s a success even though Gidget rarely seems to spend much time at the office.  Gidget is hyperactive and a bit self-absorbed and, as such, she usually only shows up at work long enough to tell her employees about her latest problems before then running out of the office in an impulsive attempt to fix everything.

What problems do Gidget and Jeff have?  Well, for one thing, they live in a giant house despite the fact that they’re nearly broke.  They’re both workaholics and, as a result, they don’t spend as much time together as they used to.  They got married and then they became strangers.  It’s been years since they last went down to the beach.  When Gidget’s niece, Kim (Allison Barron), wants to learn how to surf, it doesn’t even occur to her to ask her aunt or her uncle.  Instead, she ends up hanging out with a sleazy, beer-drinking surfer named Mickey (Vincent Van Patten).  

Fear not!  Gidget has a plan!  Jeff’s birthday is coming up and Gidget decides that it would be a great idea to use her travel agent powers to get the entire gang back together again.  She wants to bring all of the old surfers back to help celebrate Jeff’s big day.  The only problem is that the old gang isn’t entirely easy to find.  Plus, one of Gidget’s tour guides has to drop out of leading a tour in Hawaii.  Gidget is forced to go in his place.  Can she get back from Hawaii in time to save Jeff from Anne and  Kim from Mickey?  And even more importantly, will she ever be able to track down the old gang?  Will the movie end with a bunch of balding guys surfing while the Beach Boys play on the soundtrack?  Can you guess the answer?  

The best thing that can be said about Gidget’s Summer Reunion is that the beach looked nice and the Hawaii scenes reminded me of the wonderful summer that my family and I spent in Hawaii.  And the film is correct when it points out that adulthood is never as easy as we expected it to be when we were teenagers.  However, the film suffers from the fact that a lot of Gidget’s problems could have been solved by Gidget actually taking a few minutes to think before acting.  It’s one thing to be free-spirited and impulsive.  It’s another thing to totally lack common sense.  For instance, Gidget and Jeff’s old surfboards are stolen out of the back of Gidget’s convertible and, while you can certainly feel bad for Gidget’s loss, you do have to wonder what she was expecting when she basically just left them out in the open, where anyone could get their hands on them.  Jeff isn’t off the hook either, as it was pretty much obvious to everyone but him that Anne was trying to get him to cheat on his wife.  Gidget and Jeff are a cute couple but they don’t seem to have a brain cell between them.

Oh well.  At least the beach looked nice!