Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the entire police force is worthless.

Episode 4.11 “Broken Dreams”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on December 6th, 1988)

While pursuing a pure snatcher, Cory accidentally runs over the victim on her bicycle.  I know that probably sounds like a joke but that’s actually how this episode begins.  It turns out that the victim is deaf and couldn’t hear Cory screeching at her to get out of the way.  It turns out that Monica knows sign language.  When Cory demands to know why Monica knows how to sign, Monica refuses to tell her.

(And really, it’s none of Cory’s business.)

Cory and a reluctant Monica investigate a series of robberies that have targeted deaf beggars on the pier.  Cory learns that there is an entire deaf community that simply wants the hearing world to leave them alone.  (Cory apparently doesn’t get out much.)  Monica eventually admits that her mother is deaf and Cory eventually admits that Monica can be a good cop when she tries.  That’s nice of Cory to finally since that was already established during Monica’s first episode.  One gets the feeling that the show’s writers weren’t really sure what to do with Monica as a character.  She started out as a badass undercover cop and then was quickly transformed into an emotionally unstable, selfish bicycle cop.

While Cory and Monica learn to work together, Bobby finds himself temporarily transferred to the horse patrol.  (A member of the horse patrol is also reassigned to ride a bicycle.)  Why exactly anyone thought this was a good idea, I don’t know.  It turns out that Bobby can’t ride a horse to save his life.  His supervisor thinks that’s hilarious but you have to wonder how many crimes are being committed while all the cops are standing around and laughing at Bobby?

Bobby and TC spend most of this episode trying to catch two kids who keep shooting off a potato cannon.  They never really catch them, largely because Bobby can’t control his horses.  Instead, the kids knock themselves out when they blow up a watermelon.  Their reign of terror is ended but it’s not really because of anything done by the members of Pacific Blue.  The kids themselves just go too ambitious.

The theme of this episode was that every cop was extremely incompetent.  I’ve never been a “defund the police” person but, in this case, I doubt it would make much difference.  Defund Pacific Blue!