Retro Television Review: Coming to America 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on August 21, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Coming to America, which aired on CBS in 1989. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Fresh off the success of the film Coming To America, Eddie Murphy served as executive producer of a series based on the film. How did that work out? Read on to find out!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Tony Singletary, originally aired on July 4th, 1989)

The pilot for Coming to America begins with the story already in progress. We get an overhead shot of New York while Prince Tariq (Tommy Davidson, speaking with an unconvincing accent) explains that he and his minder, Omar (Paul Bates), have been sent to America so that Tariq can attend college. (Tariq is established as being the younger brother of the character that Eddie Murphy played in the original film.) Tariq and Omar have rented a room from diner owner Carl Mackey (John Hancock). Carl is a curmudgeon. Tariq expects everyone to treat him like royalty. Carl grumbles about not getting to eat unhealthy food before a doctor’s visit. Tariq does an extended Stevie Wonder impersonation.

Uh-oh, Tariq’s out of money! In just nine months, he spends all of his money on movies and clothes. What can Tariq do? Maybe he and Omar can work in Carl’s diner! Uh-oh, Tariq’s started a dance party in the diner and he orders Omar to join the fun! Carl shows up at an inopportune time and Omar is fired. Can Tariq take responsibility for his actions?

“I’m a Beverly Hills Cop, you’re a Beverly Hills cop too and in 48 hours, we’re Trading Places.” Tariq says at one point and seriously, you have to wonder why they didn’t toss a reference to The Golden Child in there. Tariq is royalty so it certainly would have made more sense for him to refer to himself as being a Golden Child as opposed to being a Beverly Hills Cop. That’s the type of show this is, though. The humor is heavy-handed but it also misses way too many opportunities.

My friend from Australia, Mark, sent me the link for this pilot (it’s on YouTube) and he dared me to see how much I could watch before turning it off in disgust. I managed to get through the entire thing but it wasn’t easy. To be honest, I nearly stopped this thing as soon as Tariq’s opening narration began. When that much exposition is stuffed into the opening narration, you know that you’re about watch a disjointed mess of a program. Indeed, one could argue that calling this program disjointed is a case of me being charitable. In the end, the main problem is that, after all the build-up of Tariq being a prince, the plot itself could just as easily been the plot of a thousand other mediocre sitcoms. How many times did Lisa and Kelly have to take jobs at the Max in Saved By The Bell? Both Malibu CA and One World suggested that working at a restaurant was the best — perhaps the only! — way to learn responsibility. The Coming to America diner looks almost exactly like the City Guys diner. How is this not a Peter Engel production?

Coming to America aired once. There was never a second episode. Hence, today, we’ve started and ended a series! Next week, something new will premiere in this time slot. Hopefully, it will be better than both Malibu CA and Coming to America.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.6 “You Are Who You Eat”

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Diana makes history!

Episode 1.6 “You Are Who You Eat”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 30th, 1984)

Coach Denardo has a heart attack and is laid up in the hospital. It looks like Diane is going to have to coach the team!

Wait? What?

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a lot about football but I do know that there is such a thing as an assistant coach. And there’s also coordinators. There’s a lot of coordinators and a lot of assistants and I imagine that a part of their job entails coaching whenever the head coach is in the hospital. So, I’m not really sure how this episode went from “Coach Denardo can’t coach this weekend” to “The owner is going to have to do it!”

Still, Diana ends up on the sidelines as the “first female head coach in history!” I remember that a few Super Bowls ago, they made a big deal about one of the teams having a female assistant coach and I was like, “Well, they better win or they’re never going to hire another woman.” I think the team lost. I don’t really follow football.

Anyway, Coach Denardo is on the phone with Diana for most of the game but, towards the end of the game, the connection goes down. Denardo runs out of his hospital in his hospital gown and takes a taxi to the stadium. Luckily, even without his help, Diana knew exactly which play to call and the Bulls win another game.

Yay, I guess. This episode was pretty dumb. If I was coaching a football team, I would just be like, “Have that guy run to the touchdown area and then throw him the ball.” I think we would win easily.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.13 “The Christmas Presence”

Posted on August 20, 2025 by casewright

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This Week, Captain Stubing is unimpressed by proof that God exists…

This episode had surgery, singing, and supernatural beings who did not impress Captain Stubing. I assume Stubing runs into angels on earth just on his way back from shuffleboard- they’re just old hat to him. There is a sexist and abusive husband Jim Markham (Donny Osmond) married to Lori Markham (Maureen McCormick- He wishes!). Henry Beemus (Henry Gibson) and Charlie Dobbs (Keenan Wynn) are two crooks who want to smuggle gold using nativity figurines and Nuns to unknowingly move the stolen gold through customs – this plot annoyed/tired me; it tannoyed me A LOT. The Nuns were traveling with a choir of Dominican children one of whom was deadly ill, requiring surgery!!! Lastly, an Angel with limitless powers was played by Mickey Rooney.

Jim wanted a traditional wife, but Lori wanted to keep her career. He was abusive even by 1970s standards because everyone wanted to hit him. He kept this bitter storyline going until Lori helped Doc Bricker cut into a Dominican Choir Boy’s throat to allow him to breathe! Yes, The Love Boat became The Mercy Ship!

Questions: why was there no blood on any of the scrubs after the surgery? They cut a hole in a kid’s throat! Then, Jim’s heart was changed because he found out that his wife helped save the Dominican Boy’s life. Hold on, did he not know she was a surgical nurse?! If Jim thinks this was something, wait until your wife tells you about the multiple gang related GSWs she has to treat every Wednesday night!

The Dominican boy’s plotline was interminable and there were great lamentations that his tracheotomy was going to prevent him from singing. Duh! He has a hole in his throat! Along with the throat hole plotline, there were the two thieves Henry and Charlie. These storylines just annoyed me. Mostly, they were just weird foils for Mickey Rooney to work his divine powers.

Speaking of powers, Mickey Rooney’s powers were endless: he healed the Dominican boy, allowing him to sing, he created ornaments out of thin air, he transported matter with his mind, he remade people’s thoughts, and spoke to planets! A fair number of these miracles were witnessed by Captain Stubing and he was as casually impressed as I am when I get a 5 dollar off promotion for Civilization VI on Steam. Captain Stubing barely shrugged.

The episode ended with Mickey Roony’s disembodied animated head atop the ship’s Christmas tree. It was just his head and it winked and smiled at them! Save yourselves! RUN!

There was a lot going on in this episode, but overall it was enjoyable if not hyper-strange.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.16 “Soft Targets”

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, a crazed gunman takes over the beach. Good thing the Bike Patrol’s there….

Episode 2.16 “Soft Targets”

(Dir by Ron Satlof, originally aired on January 12th, 1997)

Zack Torrance (Terence Knox, a.k.a. St. Elsewhere‘s Dr. White) is a former soldier who claims that he has information about the CIA smuggling drugs into the U.S. as a way to help raise money to defeat the communists in Central America. This is a conspiracy theory that I’m very familiar with. I don’t quite buy it because it assumes a bit too much competence on the part of the CIA. That said, it’s a popular conspiracy theory amongst some. All I know is that communism sucks.

Kind of like this show!

Anyway, Zack opens fire on a beach and holds everyone hostage because he wants to get his story out. For some reason, the job of securing the beach and negotiating with Zack falls to these dorks:

The CIA shows up in the form of Franklin Quill (Sherman Howard). Quill takes over the negotiations and, while TC and Chris glower in the background, he proceeds to shoot and kill Zack. Zack dies and the story doesn’t get out. TC looks upset but he doesn’t really do anything to stop Quill so you know what? Get bent, TC.

Seriously, this episode …. ugh. First off, hostage episodes are boring to begin with. There’s only so many times you can watch some sweaty guy barking out orders before you get bored with the whole thing. Pacific Blue makes things worse by bringing in the Bike Patrol. We’re supposed to dislike Quill but actually, Quill shows up, takes charge of the situation, and brings things to a close. The fact that TC spends the whole episode standing around with an annoyed expression on his face doesn’t make Quill any less effective. For this entire episode, TC whines and bitches about Quill’s tactics but TC never actually develops any tactics of his own. If anything, the Bike Patrol is kind of superfluous in this episode.

Terence Knox was believably desperate as Zach. Holly Robinson Peete showed up as a woman who was wounded by Zach’s initial attack on the beach. She survived and then married a lifeguard (Robert Joseph). Palermo was not in this episode. Instead, he left to train a Bike Patrol in another country and left TC in charge of the Santa Monica’s Bike Patrol. Big mistake, if you ask me.

If there was any pleasure to be found in this episode, it came from just how poorly the Bike Patrol came across. Seriously, they couldn’t catch Zach. They couldn’t control the beach. What exactly do we need these people for? Bike Patrol, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.6 “Second Time Around/Three’s A Crowd”

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, the Island is kind of dull. Tattoo is missed.

Episode 7.6 “Second Time Around/Three’s A Crowd”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on November 19th, 1983)

Love is in the air again at Fantasy Island! Remember when this show used to feature mermaids and Greek Gods and ghosts and gothic mansions and stuff like that? Those were good times!

Kate Tucker (Cristina Ferrare) comes to the Island to confront her husband, Gary Tucker (Geoffrey Scott, the quarterback from 1st and Ten), about his infidelity. Roarke decides to bring Gary’s mistress, Helen (Michelle Phillips, who once played the mermaid on this very show), to the Island as well! It’s all a part of Roarke’s plan to show both women that Gary’s not worth all the trouble. Kate realizes she doesn’t want Gary and Helen doesn’t want him either. Kate leaves the Island a single woman. Good for her!

Meanwhile, widowed Joan (Dorothy McGuire) comes to the Island and falls for handsome Alan Reynolds (Craig Stevens). Joan’s son (Stuart Damon) is upset at the idea of Joan marrying someone else. Eventually, he comes to see the error of his ways and smiles as Joan and Alan find happiness.

This may have been an episode of Fantasy Island but it felt more like The Love Boat. Roarke helped everyone find true love and Lawrence …. Lawrence was just kind of there. At this point, I kind of feel that, if they were determined to get rid of Tattoo, they should have just had Roarke running the Island by himself. Lawrence’s presence doesn’t accomplish anything beyond making the viewer miss Tattoo.

This was a pretty forgettable trip to the Island.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.9 “Crash Course”

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

A recently released thief and a bank error are no match for the smiley charisma of Erik Estrada!

Episode 4.9 “Crash Course”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 4th, 1981)

Former getaway driver Sonny Matson (Don Stroud) has just been released from prison and he’s fallen back into his old habits. Everyday, he steals a different car and then robs a different business. His crimes are getting progressively more bold and Baker is determined to catch him.

Meanwhile, Ponch notices that he has an extra $4,000 in his bank account. Trying to do the right thing, Ponch reports the discrepancy. The bank accidentally drains all the money from his account. With his checks bouncing all over town, Ponch tries to get the bank fix their error. Good luck with that, Ponch! Luckily, when one of Sonny’s associates tries to rob the bank, it gives Ponch a chance to play the hero….

It’s The Ponch Show! Baker may be the one with a personal stake in capturing Sonny but Ponch is the one with big grin and the majority of this episode’s screentime. Whether he’s thwarting a bank robbery or recruiting all of his co-workers to help him find proof of the bank’s error, Ponch dominates. Poor Baker.

The best thing about this episode was Don Stroud’s performance as Sonny Matson. Stroud played a lot of low-level criminals over the course of his career. With his quick but unfriendly smile, his paranoid eyes, and his cocky attitude, Stroud is actually rather intimidating as Sonny. Whenever Stroud is onscreen, CHiPs actually feels a little bit dangerous! That this episode was memorable was largely due to Don Stroud and the hideous 70s decor of Ponch’s bank. Tacky and dangerous, that’s our CHiPs!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.16 “Honor Among Thieves”

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, a man kills for his dolls.

Episode 4.16 “Honor Among Thieves?”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on March 4th, 1988)

A serial killer named Paul Delgado (John Bowman and no, we’re not related as far as I know) is killing girls in Miami. He believes that he’s being ordered to kill by his collection of dolls and, when he’s speaking as a doll, he uses a high-pitched voice. He picks women up at carnivals or on the beach and he kills them by injecting them with 100% pure cocaine. He poses their bodies with a doll beside them.

Because of the cocaine connection, homicide detective Jarrell (Dylan Baker) approaches Castillo. Castillo explains that his best men are working deep undercover, trying to take down a drug lord named Palmo (Ramy Zada). That’s right, this is yet another episode where Crockett pretends to be Burnett and Tubbs pretends to be Cooper and somehow, they’re able to get away with it despite the fact that their cover has been blown in almost every previous episode.

Delgado works for Palmo and things get even more complicated when it turns out that Delgado is Crockett and Tubbs’s connection inside Palmo’s operation. When Palmo discovers that Delgado is the killer, he puts Delgado on trial. The jury is made up of other drug dealers. Since Crockett is pretending to be a lawyer, he’s assigned to serve as Delgado’s defense counsel. Palmo tells Crockett that, unless he’s acquitted by the drug dealer jury, he’ll reveal that Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover….

This was a weird episode, It didn’t really work because Delgado was a bit too cartoonish to be taken seriously. Perhaps if the show had just made him a serial killer who killed women with cocaine, it would have worked. But the show had to go the extra step and have him talk to his dolls in a high-pitched voice. As well, this was yet another episode where we were forced to wonder if people in the Miami underworld just don’t communicate with each other. After all the drug lords that have been busted by Crockett and Tubbs, you would think that word would eventually get out about “Burnett” and “Cooper.” I mean, their cover gets blown in nearly every episode. Frank Zappa put a bounty on Crockett’s head in season 2! And yet somehow, Crockett and Tubbs are still able to walk into a drug lord’s mansion, introduce themselves as Burnett and Cooper, and not automatically get shot.

There were some definite problems with this episode but it was weird enough to at least hold one’s attention. As opposed to the episodes with the aliens and the bull semen, this episode didn’t seem like it was trying too hard to be weird. Instead, it just was genuinely weird. It was watchable and, as far as the fourth season of Miami Vice is concerned, that definitely counts as an accomplishment.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on The Street 4.2 “Fire Part Two”

Posted on August 17, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, Lisa will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

Guest reviewer alert! I’m filling in for Lisa on the Homicide beat this week. Let’s take a look at the second episode of the fourth season.

Episode 4.2 “Fire Part Two”

(Dir by Nick Gomez, originally aired on October 27th, 1995)

Continuing from where the previous episode ended, Pembleton, Bayliss, and Kellerman investigate the second warehouse fire. Another victims has been found burned to a crisp in the fire. Her dental records identify here are Bonnie Nash, a teenage girl. The positioning of her body indicates that, unlike the first victim, she was already dead when the fire was set.

Pembleton continues to dislike Kellerman and gets especially annoyed when Kellerman announces that he’s decided to quit smoking. Bayliss is suffering from a degenerative disc and spends more time complaining about the pain than actually investigating the case. It’s Kellerman who solves the case and tricks chemistry teacher Gavin Robb (Adam Trese) into confessing. While in the box with him, Kellerman plays good cop and even tells Robb that he’s free to leave after Robb denies being the arsonist. As Robb stands, Kellerman whispers, “Why did you kill the dog?”

Without thinking, Robb replies, “I didn’t know it was there.”

(Of course, there was no dog there.)

Realizing his mistake, Robb confesses. Bonnie was one of his students. Having decided to kill her, Robb set the first fire to fool everyone into thinking that there was a serial arsonist on the loose so that the arsonist would be blamed when Bonnie’s body was found in the second fire. The first death was an accident. The death of Bonnie was premeditated. When asked why he killed Bonnie, Robb replies, “That’s my personal business.”

Giardello invites Kellerman to join Homicide. At first, Kellerman refuses because he doesn’t think he’s smart enough to be a member of the murder police. But after visiting his father at his dead-end job in a distillery, Kellerman changes his mind.

Meanwhile, Kay and Munch both study for the sergeant’s exam. Kay makes it to the exam and probably aces it. Munch can’t find his lucky socks and misses it. I would have missed it too. You can’t do anything without the lucky socks.

This episode was an improvement over the previous episode. Last episode, Kellerman came across as being a cliche, the hot-headed cop who has a problem with authority. This episode, Kellerman was more likable and also a lot less cocky. That he’s insecure about whether or not he can keep up with the other homicide detectives makes him a very relatable character. It would have to be intimidating to find yourself suddenly working with someone like Frank Pembleton, who is always portrayed as being the best of the best.

As I mentioned last week, Reed Diamond was originally a controversial addition to the cast. At the time, many critics said the show was selling out by casting an actor who didn’t look like Ned Beatty or Jon Polito. Reed Diamond and Mike Kellerman would both prove themselves, leaving little doubt that they belonged. Later, Homicide would make some bad casting decisions. (Five word: Jon Seda as Paul Falsone.) But Reed Diamond, with this episode, steps up and shows that he can keep up with the rest of the squad.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.5 “Parents and Teachers”

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Miss Bliss almost becomes Zach’s stepmother.

Episode 1.5 “Parents and Teachers”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on December 28th, 1988)

It’s parent-teacher week! Lisa worries that her parents are going to find out that she wears makeup to school. Miss Bliss promises not to tell them. Mr. Belding worries that the parents are going to start telling principal jokes so, when he hears a few, he apparently tells a ribald joke about Gumby. (We don’t get the full details. Milo says that it involved a side of Pokey that he’d rather not think about …. GOOD GOD, WHAT THE HELL DID BELDING SAY!?)

Miss Bliss is shocked when one of the parents turns out to be Peter (Robert Pine, the sergeant from CHiPs and Chris’s father), a charming man that she met during a singles retreat. It turns out that Peter is Zach’s father….

Wait, what? Anyone who has ever watched Saved By The Bell knows that Zach’s parents are not divorced and that his father is Derek Morris, a bearded computer salesman who played baseball in college and who grounded Zach for drinking too much at a senior party. Who the Hell is this Peter Morris character? I guess, when Zach moved to California, he got a new father as well. Maybe Derek Morris was actually his stepfather and the whole reason he moved to California was because his mother remarried. But why would he bring Lisa. Screech, and Belding with him?

I don’t know. It’s questions like this that haunt me about the Miss Bliss episodes of Saved By The Bell. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Afterall, the only reason why the Good Morning Miss Bliss episodes are considered canon is because they were later added to the Saved By The Bell syndication package with newly shot scenes of Zach saying, “I remember when I was in junior high….” Really, the simplest answer to all of my questions is that the producers of Saved By The Bell just didn’t care. They didn’t care about continuity or anything else. In those pre-Internet days, they thought they could get away with forcing the Miss Bliss episodes into the SBTB universe. That’s the solution that makes the most sense but I’m a continuity person. This is going to bother me for the rest of my life, I can tell already.

Anyway, Zach is not happy that Miss Bliss is dating his father. Quite frankly, I’m not happy about it either. As a condescending know-it-all, Miss Bliss is already annoying enough without having an active social life. Fortunately, the relationship doesn’t last. Zach skips school and, when Miss Bliss catches him, she realizes that it’s simply unethical to date the father of one of her students.

“What if I send Zach to Switzerland?” Peter asks.

Gee, Peter, what if we call Child Protective Services on your ass? How would you like that? Seriously, the main message of this episode seems to be that Zach has a terrible father and Miss Bliss has terrible judgment.

Zach is really lucky he got out of Indiana.

Retro Television Review: The American Short Story #11: Paul’s Case

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, Lisa will be reviewing The American Short Story, which ran semi-regularly on PBS in 1974 to 1981. The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Eric Roberts appears in an adaptation of a Willa Cather short story.

Episode #11: “Paul’s Case”

(Dir by Lamont Johnson, originally aired in 1980)

At the turn of the century, Paul (Eric Roberts) is a young man from Philadelphia who struggles academically and who just doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere. He comes from a poor family but he wants people to think of him as being rich and worry-free. He gets a job working at a theater and finally experiences a life other than the dreary one forced on him by his father. But eventually, Paul steals money from his job and uses it to go to New York. In New York, he lives out his fantasy of being rich and free but, after a few days, he realizes that the fantasy is only temporary. With his father coming to the city to claim him, Paul throws himself in front of train.

Based on a story by Willa Cather, Paul’s Case is an effective and heart-breaking entry in The American Short Story series. It feature a very early performance from Eric Roberts. Roberts was only 24 years old when he played Paul and he gives a poignantly vulnerable performance as a young man who simply does not fit in with the world in which he’s been born. He’s too delicate, too much of a “dandy,” for his father’s unimaginative (and homophobic) world but he’s also not rich enough to truly be a part of the exciting world that he discovers in the theater and in New York.

Perfectly capturing the tone of the source material and featuring an excellent turn from Eric Roberts, Paul’s Case is The American Short Story at its best.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed: