Category Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Larry can’t read!

Episode 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 20th, 1985)

Larry, a veteran wide receiver on the Bulls, is informed that this will be his final season.  He’s played ten years and he’s given his heart to the game.  With his reputation for pulling pranks, he’s a popular guy in the locker room.  But, the time has come for Larry to move on.  Diane arranges for Larry to have a job interview with a PR firm.  Larry doesn’t show up for the interview.

“I can’t read!” Larry says when Diane confronts him.

“You’re a college graduate!” Diane exclaimed.

“I majored in football!” Larry replies.

What a sad story!  That said, it’s one that seems to happen a lot in real life.  As long as the plays are being made on the field, many colleges don’t worry about whether or not their players are graduating with the skills to earn a living once they stop playing.  Of course, as far as this show is concerned, the story would have been even sadder if we had ever seen or heard about Larry before this episode.  Seriously, Larry pops up out of nowhere and the viewer is just expected to act as if he’s been there the entire time.

At the end of the episode, Larry catches a game-winning pass and ensures the Bulls will be going to the playoffs.  Yay!  Larry also reveals to Diane that he’s enrolled in a course to learn how to read.  Yay again!  “Some of the guys in there are even older than me,” Larry says.

Meanwhile, the Arcola brothers are threatening to kill Roger again.  Roger has been pimping out two of the cheerleaders to members of the Arcola Crime Family.  Ruta fires one of the cheerleader and the other decides that she no longer wants to be treated like a prostitute.  Good for her!  Again, this is a storyline that would have been very effective if not for the fact that we’ve never seen these cheerleaders before.  One gets the feeling that the main cast wanted a week off so production came up with a collection of new characters to center the show around.

Next week — who knows?  I assume some football will be played.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romance”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romnace”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 22nd, 1983)

As usual, this episode has three stories.  However, this week, only one of the stories really works.

Dr. Elliott Norton (James Noble) attended medical school with Doc.  He is a world-renowned surgeon who has written a best-selling book and, as soon as he boards the boat, ol’ Doc Bricker starts to feel insecure.  It’s easy to see why.  Dr. Norton performs life-saving surgery on a daily basis.  Doc Bricker helps people recover from severe sun tan.  The fact that everyone on board wants Norton’s autograph doesn’t help.  Vicki is supposed to be writing a report on Doc but even Doc is like, “You should probably do it on Elliott.”

However, when a little girl (played by Tori Spelling, in what must have been one of the first roles that Aaron Spelling demanded she be cast in) asks Doc to diagnose what’s wrong with her doll, Bricker quickly figures out that both the doll and the girl are depressed because they’re not spending enough time with their father.  Norton may be getting the groupies but Doc Bricker gets invited to a tea party with the girl, her father, and the doll.

I’m sorry, are you smirking?

Okay, it is pretty silly.  Normally, I would smirk too but you know what?  Bernie Kopell really makes this story work.  In many ways, Doctor Adam Bricker was a bit of silly character, a supposed swinger who always came across as being rather mild-mannered and kind of conservative.  But Bernie Kopell was so likable in the role that it didn’t matter that the character often didn’t make much sense.  In this episode, Kopell does such a good job of playing up the character’s insecurities and regrets that my heart actually broke for the poor guy.  Was the tea party silly?  Yes.  But I still cheered when he was invited.

As for the other two stories, one featured Raymond St. Jacques and Theresa Merritt playing an elderly couple who were living together without being married.  Their children (played Brian Stokes Mitchell and Thelma Hopkins) were scandalized!  It was pretty boring.  The children weren’t particularly likable so I was kind of hoping the parents would just toss them overboard.

The final story …. I don’t even know how to describe it other than to say it was dumb.  Ross (Alan Young) wants to impress Kathy (Holland Taylor) and keep her from running off with Bob (Adam West, who was severely underused).  So, Ross builds a fake bomb, hides it in the engine room, pretends to discover it, and then defuses it while Kathy watches.  I mean, how am I supposed to care about someone who would do something that stupid?  And then, when Ross confesses the truth to her, Kathy laughs it off and forgives him.  I mean, it seems like he’s an obvious sociopath to me.  Run, Kathy, run!

This was an uneven episode but seriously, the story with Doc Bricker got to me.  This show was very lucky to have Bernie Kopell.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.19 “Lost and Found”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike cops screw up another case.

Episode 2.19 “Lost and Found”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on March 2nd, 1997)

I’ve often felt that the most interesting thing about Pacific Blue is witnessing just how totally incompetent the bicycle cops really are.

This episode centers around a girl who has run away from home.  Chris and Palermo are holding her at the station and they release her to the first guy who shows up claiming to be her father.  They don’t bother to ask the man for any sort of proof that he’s her father.  They don’t even ask to see his ID.  Instead, they just let her go with him.

Guess what?  That guy wasn’t her father!

Her actual father shows up a little while later and, needless to say, he’s pretty pissed off.  Instead of apologizing or in any way accepting accountability for screwing up, Palermo and Chris snap at the guy to calm down and then say that they’ll track down his daughter.  What’s funny is that we’re supposed to be on the side of the bicycle cops because the father is angry and yelling.  Well, the father has every right to be angry and yelling.  THE IDIOTS LET HIS RUNAWAY DAUGHTER LEAVE WITH THE FIRST GUY WHO SHOWED UP!

Now, the show later reveals that the father was abusive and that his daughter ran way because he was beating her.  Yeah, he’s not a good father and he should lost custody of his daughter.  That doesn’t make the bicycle cops any less incompetent, though!  It just amuses that this show continually tries to convince us that we should take these people seriously as cops but every episode seems to feature them making some sort of terrible mistake.  This show really seems to think that, as long as Chris is shooting people the death glare, that means she’s not responsible for any of her screwups.

This episode also featured a subplot in which Cory tried to protect her no-good brother from some hitmen.  She did a better job with her storyline than Chris and Palermo did with the case of the runaway.  Maybe Cory should be in charge.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.9 “Fantasy Island Girl/Saturday’s Child”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, we have two fantasies that seem very familiar.

Episode 7.9 “Fantasy Island Girl/Saturday’s Child”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on December 10th, 1983)

Actress Marion Sommers (Stella Stevens) comes to the Island.  Lawrence is a huge fan and can’t imagine what fantasy she could possibly have.  Roarke explains that Marion wants to be reunited with her children.  The twist is that her children don’t know that Marion is their mother.  They think that their mother died and that they were adopted by Fran Woods (Diane Baker).

Marion is told that, because of the way she phrased her fantasy, she’ll get to meet her children on the island but she can’t tell them that she’s their mother.  The children have spent the last few years with Ms. Woods as their mother.  Marion agrees but she doesn’t keep her word and, by the end of her fantasy, she’s told both Bill (David Kaufman) and Ellie (Amy Linker) that she is their mother and that she wants them to come with her.  Bill and Ellie reject her, saying that Ms. Woods will always be their mother.  However, they would like it if Marion would be their friend.

Lawrence asks Marion to give him her autograph so he can give it to his niece.  Then, after Marion leaves, Lawrence tells Roarke that he doesn’t have a niece….

This fantasy seemed awfully familiar.  I don’t really have the time to go back and reread every Fantasy Island review that I’ve written but I’m pretty sure that this show has already gone to the “I’m  a famous actress who wants to meet the children that I gave up” well more than a few times.  In this case, it just felt like everyone was going through the motions.

As for the other fantasy, it involved the Fantasy Island Girl Beauty Pageant and, again, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen several versions of this pageant fantasy in the past.  This time, it’s the pageant’s producer, Nick Gleason (Paul Burke), who has a fantasy.  It seems that Nick has a reputation for fixing his pageants so his fantasy is to run a totally “clean” and honest pageant.  It seems like he could have just done that on his own without even having to go to Fantasy Island.  Since when have fantasies become about doing things that most people would just do naturally?

Nick’s daughter, Tina (Audrey Landers), enters the pageant and suddenly, Nick finds himself tempted to fix the pageant for her.  When Roarke explains this to Tina, Tina withdraws from the pageant and Nick doesn’t fix the pageant.  Nick is so happy that he finally put on a honest pageant but the only reason he didn’t fix the pageant was because Tina dropped out.  If she hadn’t dropped out, he totally would have rigged it.  So, I’m not really sure that Nick has anything to brag about.  It’s kind of like bragging about not robbing a bank because it was closed on Sunday.

Lawrence is appointed as one of the judges for the beauty pageant.  You know who really enjoyed beauty pageants?  Tattoo.  This would have been a fun fantasy for Tattoo.  Instead, we just get Lawrence looking all huffy and puffy.

The trip to the Island was no fantasy.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.12 “Home Fires Burning”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

It’s arson and basketball on CHiPs!

Episode 4.12 “Home Fires Burning”

(Dir by Charles Bail, originally aired on February 1st, 1981)

Two arsonists (David Hayward and Michael Cavanugh) are setting RVs on fire as a part of an insurance scam.  One man (Jack Kruschen) who hires the arsonists is horrified when their carelessness leads to a security guard getting seriously injured.  If the guard dies, the man is looking at serious jail time!  (Luckily, the guard doesn’t die and apparently, everyone just forgets about sending his boss to jail.)

Luckily, Baker is there to help track the arsonists down.  Ponch, on the other hand, is busy putting together a Highway Patrol basketball team.  It’s hard not to notice how much time the Highway Patrol spends on stuff like basketball, dirt bike competitions, and drag car racing.  Somehow, Ponch has gone from being the department’s screw-up to now being the guy who is automatically given all of the responsibility.  It’s the Ponch Show and everyone knows it.

This episode was directed by veteran stuntman Charles Bail and it does have some spectacular stunts.  (A car jumping through an exploding RV was my favorite.)  And let’s be honest.  I could sit here and spend hours talking about CHiPs became the Ponch Show during the fourth season and how the rest of the cast was underutilized.  And I would be totally correct.  But the stunts and the car crashes are the main appeal of this show and this episode featured several examples of each.

As such, this was a good episode.

Brad reviews STAR TREK – S1, E10 – “The Corbomite Maneuver!”

Posted on by Bradley Crain

DeForest Kelley, Clint Howard and William Shatner

“The Corbomite Maneuver,” one of the earliest of the original STAR TREK episodes ever filmed, first aired on November 10, 1966. In this episode, the Enterprise, under Captain Kirk’s command, encounters a mysterious cube blocking its path in uncharted space. When attempts to communicate fail, the cube emits radiation, forcing the crew to destroy it. This action provokes a powerful alien vessel, the Fesarius, commanded by Balok, who accuses the Enterprise of trespassing and announces its imminent destruction. Kirk, facing a seemingly unbeatable foe, bluffs by claiming the Enterprise is equipped with a fictional “corbomite” device that would destroy any attacker. As a tense standoff takes place, Kirk’s gamble pays off when Balok blinks first and initiates contact, leading to a somewhat surprising conclusion.

I’ve watched some of the STAR TREK movies and TV shows over the years, but I’m nowhere near what someone would call a “Trekkie.” I do remember watching and liking STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN (1982) when I was a kid, and as an adult, I enjoyed the 2009 reboot from J.J. Abrams. I recently read Ron Howard and Clint Howard’s memoir, THE BOYS, and Clint talked about how often fans would bring up his appearance in this specific episode of STAR TREK. Since today, September 8th, is “Star Trek Day,” and the original series is streaming on Paramount Plus, I decided I would see what all the fuss is about. I did think it was pretty cool when I saw that the episode was directed by Joseph Sargent, who would go on to direct a couple of my favorite movies of the early 70’s, WHITE LIGHTNING (1973) and THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE (1974).

I had a lot of fun watching “The Corbomite Maneuver” for the first time today. From what I’ve read online, many consider this a really strong episode of the original series, and I can see why. The episode builds some pretty strong tension as Balok’s vessel seems so much stronger than the Enterprise, and it seems believable that the crew is really in danger. The special effects seem to be well done for the time period, with the “glowing cube” especially interesting. While there is not a lot of action in the episode, there are solid dramatics and a sense of humor rears its head from time to time. The main cast of William Shatner as Captain Kirk, Leonard Nimoy as Spock, and Deforest Kelly as Bones McCoy provide many of their classic character traits that would lead to them becoming pop culture icons. Shatner’s Kirk exudes extreme confidence amid a seemingly hopeless situation, while Nimoy’s Spock offers his unquestionable logic, and Kelley’s McCoy provides his gruff but loyal empathy. When a seven year old Clint Howard finally shows up as the real Balok in the last five minutes of the episode, I was ready. I got quite the kick out of watching Clint, whose voice is dubbed by a guy named Walker Edmiston, serve the guys a delicious drink named Tranya, a drink he truly relishes. As the episode was ending, my mouth was watering for the tasty looking alien beverage! 

Happy Star Trek Day friends. I truly enjoyed joining in on the celebration for the first time in my life today! 

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.19 “Blood & Roses”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Gina’s in trouble again!

Episode 4.19 “Blood & Roses”

(Dir by George Mendeluk, originally aired on April 1st, 1988)

Frank Mosca (Stanley Tucci) is back!

In case you’ve forgotten, Mosca was the villain from the fourth season premiere, Contempt of Court.  That episode ended with Mosca getting away with everything.  This episode finds him killing a rival drug lord (Michael Wincott) and trying to kill Crockett.  Because Mosca knows who Crockett and Tubbs are, it falls on Gina to go undercover.  This becomes yet another episode where Gina starts to fall for the bad guy and ends up having sex with the target of a Vice investigation.  As often happens with these type of episodes, Gina ends up shooting Mosca to keep him from shooting Sonny.  Mosca’s body plummets down an air shaft and it’s hard not to notice that Stanley Tucci has suddenly become a mannequin with painted hair.

Stanley Tucci gave a magnetic performance as the charismatic but evil Frank Mosca.  Watching Tucci, it’s easy to see why the show brought him but Mosca was such a memorable character that it’s shame that he was given a standard Miami Vice death scene.  Mosca deserved to go out with a bit more style.  Saundra Santiago gave a good performance as Gina but it’s hard not to notice that every time she’s at the center of an episode, it’s pretty much the same basic plot.  As a character, Gina deserved better than to constantly be used as a sex toy by every bad guy she went undercover to investigate.

Watching this episode, I found myself wondering if the show’s writers remembered that Crockett was supposed to be married.  Between his jealousy over Gina getting close to Mosco and a scene where he and Gina shared a brief but intense kiss, it was hard not to notice that Crockett didn’t seem to be thinking about his wife.  Perhaps this episode was originally meant to air earlier in the season, before Crockett’s somewhat improbable wedding.  Who knows?  It’s been a while since anyone asked Crockett about Caitlin.  Maybe they got a quickie divorce offscreen.

This episode was typical of season 4.  It was well-made but everything just felt a bit too familiar. to be effective.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 1.4 “Eye of the Beholder”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Emma meets Sean.

Episode 1.4 “Eye of the Beholder”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on April 8th, 2002)

It’s time for the first Degrassi school dance of the year!  Ashley is superexcited because she was able to talk Mr. Raditch into letting her throw a night dance.  Unfortunately, that means that Manny’s parents will not allow her to go to the dance.  With Toby and JT planning on staying at Toby’s to look at porn while Toby’s parents are out of the house, that means Emma will have to go to the dance all by herself!  Emma is mad.  Then again, Emma is always mad.

Meanwhile, a new student has shown up at school.  He briefly went to the school last term but his family moved up north.  Now, he’s back in Toronto and living with his brother and returning to Degrassi.  He’s also having to repeat Grade 7, something that Jimmy mocks him for.  He’s …. SEAN CAMERON!

Yes, this is the episode the introduces Daniel Clark as Sean Cameron.  Sean would go on to become one the most important characters during the classic seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation.  A sensitive juvenile delinquent who alternated between being a brooding rebel and a petty criminal,  Sean is best-remembered for eventually dating Emma Nelson but it’s often forgotten that he also dated the supercool Ellie Nash.  I’ve always preferred Ellie/Sean to Emma/Sean but I’m getting ahead of myself.  That’s all in the future.

What’s important for this episode is that Sean also goes to the dance by himself.  And when Jimmy continues to give him a hard time, Sean grabs him and prepares to beat up on him like Kendrick Lamar preparing to drop another diss track.  With Mr. Raditch approaching, Emma cools off the situation by asking Sean to dance.

In the episode’s other main storyline, Terri is shocked when Spinner asks her to the dance.  Paige is shocked as well.  With the overweight Terri feeling insecure (it’s her first date — ever!), Paige helps matters by telling Terri she should have some sherry to calm her nerves.  Soon, Terri is drunk and, by the time she and Paige make it to the dance, she’s a giggly mess.  Long story short: Terri gets sick after one dance with Spinner and, the next morning, it’s clear that Spinner is now dating Paige.  This is another case where it’s hard to watch this storyline unfold without considering the future.  Paige and Spinner are not only destined to become a classic Degrassi couple but, ultimately, Paige is going to become a better friend to Terri than Ashley ever was.  Eventually, Terri will get her first boyfriend.  Of course, he’s going to turn out to be a complete psycho who, after putting Terri in a coma, will end up shooting up the school in a totally separate episode and putting Jimmy in a wheelchair.  Agck!  Seriously, these students have no idea what’s waiting for them in the future.

Finally, Toby and JT get caught looking at porn.  Toby’s parents then force them to look at more porn and discuss how it objectifies both men and women.  When Toby tells Manny and Emma about it, Manny and Emma both chime in with “Losers.”  Yep, that about sums it up.

The main problem with this episode is that I never really bought Spinner asking Terri to the dance.  It’s not because Terri’s fat.  (Spinner wasn’t exactly skinny himself in these early episodes.)  Instead, it’s just that Spinner and Terri really didn’t have much chemistry.  Even in this very early episode, Spinner and Paige just seemed to belong together.  Still, the most important thing is that Sean Cameron has arrived and Degrassi will never be the same.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.8 “The Boy Who Cried Rat”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Zach takes up terrorism.

Episode 1.8 “The Boy Who Cried Rat”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 11th, 1989)

Miss Bliss has been nominated for Indiana Teacher Of The Year because of course she has.  Mr. Belding is super-excited.  He is convinced that Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars will put her over the top!  What is the Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars?  Miss Bliss wears silly costumes and asks historical questions.  Miss Bliss can’t wait to be named Teacher of the Year.

Uh-oh, Zach Morris needs an extra week to study for his midterm so he can get the B that his father is requiring before he’ll take Zach on a ski vacation.  Zach convinces Screech to set his two pet rats free in the school.  As a result, the school is shut down for a week and the Best Teacher judge will not get to see  Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars.  But when Zach hears that Miss Bliss is going to miss her chance to be Teacher of the Year, he feels guilty and confesses.  Somehow, this leads to the school not being closed for a week.  I mean, Screech was able to find one of his rats but the other one is still loose in the school.  Zach confessing doesn’t change the fact that there’s still a rat infestation.  Mr. Belding offers Zach and Screech a deal.  If they act really enthusiastic during Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars and they help Miss Bliss win the title of Teacher of the Year, Belding won’t give them detention.  Zach agrees.

(Personally, I think it can be argued that Zach should have been expelled and that his behavior is evidence of a sociopathic personality but whatever.  Miss Bliss is what matters here!)

Unfortunately, Zach and the class get too enthusiastic about the Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars.  They’re so busy praising Miss Bliss that Miss Bliss fears that they’ve become distracted from studying for their midterms.  Miss Bliss tells the judge that her number one concern has to be getting the kids ready for their test, not competing for a title.

So, of course, Miss Bliss wins the title.

More than any previous episode of Good Morning Miss Bliss, this episode felt like a typical installment of Saved By The Bell.  Zach came up with a wacky scheme.  Screech somehow got roped into it.  And, in the end, no one faced any real consequences for their behavior.  That said, this is also a typical Good Morning Miss Bliss episode in that Miss Bliss is again portrayed as being too good to be true and the entire school was portrayed as revolving around keeping her happy.

Personally, I don’t think Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars was all that impressive.  Teacher of the Year?  STOP THE COUNT!

Retro Television Review: The American Short Story #14: Rappaccini’s Daughter

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, Lisa will be reviewing The American Short Story, which ran semi-regularly on PBS in 1974 to 1981.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, we have an anemic adaptation of a Nathaniel Hawthorne short story.

Episode #14: Rappaccini’s Daughter

(Dir by Deszo Magyar, originally aired in 1980)

This week’s episode is an adaptation of one of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s more intriguing short stories.  Giovanni (Kristoffer Tabori) is a young scholar who, in 18th Century Italy, falls in love with the beautiful and mysterious Beatrice (Kathleen Beller).  Beatrice has been raised in a garden that is full of poisonous plants that have been developed by her father, Dr. Rappaccini (Leonardo Cimino).  As a result, Beatrice is immune to the plants but she herself is poisonous.  Giovanni falls in love with her and is willing to become poisonous himself but it ultimately turns out that everything comes with a price.

Hawthorne’s short story was not only an early example of gothic literature but it was also a well-deserved parody of the nature-loving, self-righteous transcendentalists.  (The story came out at the same time as Henry David Thoreau’s Walden.)  Unfortunately, this particular adaptation really doesn’t do the story justice.  It moves extremely slowly and the performances are not particularly memorable.  Kristoffer Tabori and Kathleen Beller have very little chemistry and, in the end, the adaptation misses the satirical nature of the story altogether.  There’s a reason why Vincent Price made for an excellent Dr. Rappaccini in 1963’s Twice Told Tales.