Rated X (2000, directed by Emilio Estevez)


In Rated X, two real-life brothers play another set of real-life brothers.

Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen play, respectively, brothers Jim and Artie Mitchell.  Two pot-smoking entrepreneurs who found fame and fortune during the so-called Golden Age of Pornography (Behind the Green Door was their most famous film), Jim and Artie owned the O’Farrell Theater in San Francisco and became famous for their numerous legal troubles and their advocacy for freedom of speech.  While Jim became a semi-respectable figure who hobnobbed with the city’s elite, Artie became known for his consumption of cocaine.  In 1991, Jim drove over to Artie’s house and shot him twice.  Jim, who claimed Artie had threatened to kill him, was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to six years in prison.  Jim was released after serving three years.  (He died in 2007, long after this film aired on Showtime.)

Rated X tells the story of the Mitchell Brothers in a flat and perfunctory manner.  Emilio Estevez not only plays Jim but he also directs.  He doesn’t bring much visual style or storytelling style to the film, despite a few scenes that appear to have been cribbed from Boogie Nights.  Estevez doesn’t seem to be sure what he wants to say about the Mitchell Brothers and they come across as being the most boring pornographers in history.  What’s really strange is that Estevez and Sheen are not believable as brothers, despite both wearing matching bald caps.  There’s nothing about their performances that would lead you to believe that they grew up with each other.  Casting Sheen as an out-of-control drug addict seems like a no-brainer but he’s not even believable when he’s snorting coke and handing out cheerleader uniforms.  In fact, the film probably would have worked better if Sheen and Estevez had switched roles.  Estevez was always better at showing emotion than Charlie.  In Rated X, Jim is always intense while Artie always has the wide-eyed stare that Oliver Stone made such good use of in Platoon.

I can understand the casting, though.  Jim and Artie were brothers so it makes sense to cast brothers to play them.  Because Charlie has always been best-known for his flamboyant life off-screen, it probably seemed to the obvious decision to cast him as the wild brother while Estevez, who has always come across as being a stable guy offscreen, seemed right for Jim.  But onscreen, Estevez is always better as an unpredictable outlaw and Charlie is always better as someone who tries to keep his real emotions bottled up.  This film was cast based on Estevez and Sheen’s off-camera personas and they’re both miscast as a result.

There’s an interesting movie to be made about the Mitchells.  Their rise and fall mirrored the rise and fall of the 6os counterculture.  (A year before he killed his brother, Jim even tried to launch a Ramparts-style magazine for the 90s.)  Unfortunately, the Showtime-produced Rated X is not it.

Music Video of the Day: The Deeper The Love (1989, directed by Marty Callner)


This is a historically-important video.  It’s the final Whitesnake video to feature Tawny Kitaen.  After the video, it was all downhill for Whitesnake as far as much videos were concerned.  It turns out that people weren’t watching them because they wanted to see David Coverdale’s hair.

Marty Callner should be a familiar name by now.  He was one of those music video directors who worked with everyone who was anyone.

Enjoy!

Exit In Red (1997, directed by Yurek Bogayevicz)


After a patient that he’s sleeping with commits suicide, psychiatrist Ed Altman (Mickey Rourke) moves to Palm Springs and sets up a new practice in the desert.  His attorney (Carre Otis) is able to get Altman off the hook legally but Ed is soon in more trouble as he meets and falls for Ally Mercer (Annabel Schofield).  When Ally’s husband is murdered, Ed realizes that Ally and her fur coat-wearing boyfriend (Anthony Michael Hall) are trying to frame him for the crime.

Plotwise, this is a standard late night cable neo-noir, the type that was very popular in the late 90s.  The one thing that distinguishes this Showtime production from the film that were airing on Cinemax at the time is the lack of explicit onscreen sex.  (Despite the pairing of Mickey Rourke and his then-wife, Carre Otis, this is not another Wild Orchid.  Carre Otis is somehow even less convincing as an attorney in Exit to Red than she was in the earlier film.)  Instead, Ed just talks about sex constantly and even gives us a long monologue about why he loves long legs as if that’s something that makes him somehow unique.  Every guy loves long legs but most of us can appreciate them without having to recite a Spalding Gray-style performance piece about them.  If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to listen to Mickey Rourke read one of those “How To Be A Player” books, you can just listen to his narration in Exit in Red.

Director Yurek Bogajevicz is one of the many 90s filmmakers who went from doing arthouse films like Anna to directing films like Exit In Red.  Watching the movie, I got the feeling that Bogajevicz was trying to be subversive with his genre film, in the style of Paul Verhoeven.  There are a few times when he almost succeeds but, far more often, his direction seems as if it’s trying too hard to keep audiences from noticing the bad script and the wooden performances.  Luckily, Mickey Rourke goes all out as Dr. Altman.  The film would have been incredibly dull if he hadn’t.

Music Video of the Day: Still of the Night by Whitesnake (1987, directed by Marty Callner)


Originally, this video was going to feature Claudia Schiffer but, when Schiffer had to withdraw at the last minute, director Marty Callner suggested using David Coverdale’s then-girlfriend, Tawny Kitaean, instead.  This was the first of four Whitesnake videos that would feature Kitaen.  It’s also one of the reasons why my generation has a weakness for redheads.

Marty Callner was one of those directors who worked with everyone who was anyone.  If you had a successful band in the 80s, there’s a good chance that Marty Callner directed at least one of your videos.  Unfortunately, you weren’t dating Tawny Kitaen so your video was not a hit on MTV.

Enjoy!

Body and Soul (2000, directed by Sam Henry Kass)


Small town boxer Charlie Davis (Ray Mancini) travels to Reno with his best friend and manager, Tiny O’Toole (Michael Chiklis).  Charlie wants to become a professional and he has the support of Tiny and Gina (Jennifer Beals), a saintly hitchhiker that they pick up on the way to Nevada.  Charlie managers to impress a legendary trainer (Rod Steiger) but, as Charlie moves up the ranks, he comes under the influence of a corrupt promoter (Joe Mantegna).  Seduced by a bad girl (Tahnee Welch) and allowing his success to go to his head, Charlie alienates Tiny just when he needs him the most.  A chance to become the champion is coming up and the promoter expects Charlie to throw the fight.

There’s not a boxing cliche that goes unused in this movie.   Simple-minded by talented boxer?  Check.  Loyal best friend?  Check.  Overwrought narration?  Double check because merely calling this film’s narration overwrought doesn’t begin to do it justice.  Saintly good girl?  Check.  Dangerous bad girl?  Check.  Gruff trainer?  Check.  Corrupt promoter?  Another double check.  It’s not that the cliches are necessarily unwelcome.  Most boxing movies follow the same basic plot.  Instead, the problem here is that the film neither has the direction or the performances to make the cliches compelling.

You would think that casting Ray Mancini as a boxer would give this film some authenticity but Mancini looks as uncomfortable in the ring as he does when he’s having to actually act.  As bad as Mancini is, his performance is nowhere near as desultory as Michael Chiklis’s.  Chiklis not only plays Tiny but he also narrates the movie and watching and listening to him, you would be hard pressed to believe that he would someday star in The Shield.  Meanwhile, Rod Steiger and Jennifer Beals are wasted in underwritten roles.

If there is one thing that redeems the film, it’s Joe Mantegna as the crooked promoter.  Using his Fat Tony voice, Mantegna at least seems to have a sense of humor about the film.

I always appreciate a good boxing movie but this ain’t it.

Music Video of the Day: Not Enough Time by INXS (1992, directed by Howard Greenhalgh)


Back in the early 90s, underwater music videos were very popular.  So, of course, INXS had to do one.  This is actually one of my favorite INXS songs.  No matter what else you might want to say about the band, they never had any problem being clear about exactly what they were singing about.

This video was directed by Howard Greenhalgh, who has done videos for just about everyone.  His video for So Alive by Love & Rockets is a personal favorite of mine.

Enjoy!

Nightstick (1987, directed by Joseph L. Scanlan)


The three Bantam Brothers (Walker Boone, Tony DeSantis, and Dave Mucci) have just gotten out of prison and they’ve all already stolen several pounds of explosives.  Pretending to be international terrorists, they try to blackmail banker Adam Beardsley (John Vernon) into paying them off.  Deputy Police Commissioner Ray Melton (Robert Vaughn) wants to go by the book but his superior, Thad Evans (Leslie Nielsen), realizes that this case is going to require a cop who is willing to break all the rules.  It’s time to call in Jack Calhoun (Bruce Fairbairn).

When this movie started, I assumed that it was a comedy.  The title sounded like a double entendre and Leslie Nielsen’s name was right there in the opening credits.  The opening heist scene also felt like a comedy, up until the Bantam brothers started shooting people.  That was when I realized that this movie was supposed to be a drama.  Why would you cast a post-Airplane! Leslie Nielsen in a serious cop film?  This film did come out before The Naked Gun but it was still after Nielsen sent up every cop show ever made with the original Police Squad television series.  .And then, on top of Nielsen, the film gives us Robert Vaughn and a very grumpy John Vernon.  All it needed was OJ Simpson as Calhoun’s partner.

Even though the movie was a drama, it still felt like a comedy.  Bruce Fairbairn wasn’t much of a cop but luckily, the three Bantam brothers weren’t that much of a group of criminals.  Jack Calhoun had a girlfriend (Kerrie Keane) who constantly reminded him that he could have been having sex with her if he wasn’t constantly searching for the Bantam brothers.  “I can’t be in two places at once,” Calhoun said with a sigh.  I’m still not convinced this wasn’t a comedy.

Nightstick was originally made for Canadian television.  When it first aired, it was called Calhoun.  The name was changed to Nightstick for the video release, even though no one in the movie uses a nightstick.  Calhoun uses a gun and, at one point, a binder but he doesn’t carry a nightstick.  Maybe his character should have been named Jack Nightstick to make the title work.

Did I hallucinate this movie?  I’m pretty sure it was a comedy.

 

Music Video of the Day: Come Undone by Duran Duran (1993, directed by Julien Temple)


This song and video were both a part of Duran Duran’s early 90s comeback.  Backing vocalist Tessa Niles is both heard in the song and seen in the video as she struggles to escape from the underwater chains that bind her.  The majority of this video was shot in Los Angeles but the giant aquarium scenes were filmed at the London Zoo.

Director Julien Temple needs no introduction.  He is, of course, best known for his work with the Sex Pistols.

Enjoy!

The Toughest Man In The World (1984, directed by Dick Lowry)


Bruise Brubaker (Mr. T) spends his nights as a bouncer at a club owned by his best friend (Dennis Dugan) and his days running a center for at-risk youth.  Bruise is a former Marine drill sergeant who is now determined to make Chicago a better place.  He’s so cool that his name is Bruise and he even has his own theme song, which plays whenever he patrols the streets and alleys of Chicago.  But when it looks like the youth center is going to get closed down unless it can quickly raise some money, Bruise faces the challenge of a lifetime when he enters a competition to prove that he’s the toughest man in the world!

Is Mr. T the toughest man in the world?  I pity the fool who even has to ask.

This made-for-TV movie is exactly what you think it is.  Mr. T barks out his dialogue with his signature growl but he still seems utterly sincere when he orders the kids to say in school and stop trying to mug old men in the alleys.  At first, it seems like Bruise should be able to easily win the Toughest Man competition but it turns out to be tougher than he thought.  There’s an extended sequences in which Bruise tries to learn how to box and it turns out that he’s no Clubber Lang.  There’s also an extended subplot about some broadly-played mobsters who are hoping that can drug Bruise so he’ll lose the contest.

Probably the funniest thing about the movie is the idea that everyone in Chicago would stop what they were doing so that they could gather around the television and watch the Toughest Man contest.  The second funniest thing is Dennis Farina showing up in a small role and reminding us that it takes all types of actors to make a movie.

Mr. T was never a good actor but he was a great personality and that personality is on full display here.  The Toughest Man In The World will make you nostalgic for a more innocent time.

Music Video of the Day: Treat Your Mother Right by Mr. T (1984, directed by Jeff Margolis)


Mr. T has a message for everyone.

This originally premiered as a part of Mr. T’s motivational video, Be Somebody … Or Be Somebody’s Fool!  Director Jeff Margolis was an Emmy-winning director who worked with Carol Burnett, Julie Andrews, and Richard Pryor.

Enjoy!