Rated X (2000, directed by Emilio Estevez)


In Rated X, two real-life brothers play another set of real-life brothers.

Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen play, respectively, brothers Jim and Artie Mitchell.  Two pot-smoking entrepreneurs who found fame and fortune during the so-called Golden Age of Pornography (Behind the Green Door was their most famous film), Jim and Artie owned the O’Farrell Theater in San Francisco and became famous for their numerous legal troubles and their advocacy for freedom of speech.  While Jim became a semi-respectable figure who hobnobbed with the city’s elite, Artie became known for his consumption of cocaine.  In 1991, Jim drove over to Artie’s house and shot him twice.  Jim, who claimed Artie had threatened to kill him, was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to six years in prison.  Jim was released after serving three years.  (He died in 2007, long after this film aired on Showtime.)

Rated X tells the story of the Mitchell Brothers in a flat and perfunctory manner.  Emilio Estevez not only plays Jim but he also directs.  He doesn’t bring much visual style or storytelling style to the film, despite a few scenes that appear to have been cribbed from Boogie Nights.  Estevez doesn’t seem to be sure what he wants to say about the Mitchell Brothers and they come across as being the most boring pornographers in history.  What’s really strange is that Estevez and Sheen are not believable as brothers, despite both wearing matching bald caps.  There’s nothing about their performances that would lead you to believe that they grew up with each other.  Casting Sheen as an out-of-control drug addict seems like a no-brainer but he’s not even believable when he’s snorting coke and handing out cheerleader uniforms.  In fact, the film probably would have worked better if Sheen and Estevez had switched roles.  Estevez was always better at showing emotion than Charlie.  In Rated X, Jim is always intense while Artie always has the wide-eyed stare that Oliver Stone made such good use of in Platoon.

I can understand the casting, though.  Jim and Artie were brothers so it makes sense to cast brothers to play them.  Because Charlie has always been best-known for his flamboyant life off-screen, it probably seemed to the obvious decision to cast him as the wild brother while Estevez, who has always come across as being a stable guy offscreen, seemed right for Jim.  But onscreen, Estevez is always better as an unpredictable outlaw and Charlie is always better as someone who tries to keep his real emotions bottled up.  This film was cast based on Estevez and Sheen’s off-camera personas and they’re both miscast as a result.

There’s an interesting movie to be made about the Mitchells.  Their rise and fall mirrored the rise and fall of the 6os counterculture.  (A year before he killed his brother, Jim even tried to launch a Ramparts-style magazine for the 90s.)  Unfortunately, the Showtime-produced Rated X is not it.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.13 “Edna, Howard, Cathy & Morty)


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, Edna continues to allow Howard to humiliate her.

Episode 3.13 “Edna, Howard, Cathy & Morty”

(Dir by Alan Ehrlich, originally aired on November 28th, 1987)

When her friend Cathy (Deborah Grover) comes to town and talks about her wonderful marriage to Morty (John Stocker), Edna once again wonders how long she’s going to have to wait for Howard to ask her to marry him.

If this episode seems familiar, it’s because I’ve lost track of how many times Check It Out! has done an episode featuring Edna getting frustrated with Howard’s refusal to settle down.  Honestly, Edna can do better.  The first season at least pretended like Howard was a born romantic who truly loved Edna.  From the second season on, Howard has been taking Edna for granted and Edna really does need to move on.  Howard is in his 60s, now matter how much this show insists that he’s actually in his 40s.  If he’s not ready to commit yet, he never will be.  At this point, it’s hard to really care about Edna’s situation with Howard.

On the plus side, this episode did feature Viker trying to become a magician.  I laughed because Gordon Clapp could make just about anything funny.  For that matter, the pre-credits sequence made me laugh.  It featured Edna imagining that she was on the Dating Show and everyone reacting with shock when she announced she was going to pick Howard.  I don’t blame them!  You can do better, Edna!

 

What Lisa Watched Last Night #192: His Perfect Obsession (dir by Alexandre Carrière)


Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime premiere, His Perfect Obsession!

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime, of course!

Plus, I was kinda hoping that it would be like a special Labor Day movie.  Since I’m still not sure what Labor Day is actually supposed to celebrate, I thought maybe His Perfect Obsession would provide some clues.  (Unfortunately, it did not.)

 What Was It About?

Bart (Brendan Murray) is an accountant with a problem.  He’s obsessed with both his client, Allison (Arianne Zucker), and her blind teenage daughter Abigail (Ali Skovbye).  However, Allison doesn’t want to date him and Abigail doesn’t really seem to like him that much either.  Even after Bart murders Allison’s creep of an ex, Allison still doesn’t want to go out with him.  She’d rather go out with a sleazy real estate agent.

What is a crazy sociopath like Bart to do?  He tries drinking at the local bar but the bartender keeps getting in his business.  He tries murdering his mother but that really doesn’t do much for him, either.  Finally, Bart remembers that he does have that remote cabin that hardly anyone knows about…

What Worked?

His Perfect Obsession was filmed in Canada and, visually, it made good use of the snowy landscape.  I especially liked a scene at the start of the film where Bart approached Abigail outside of her house and they had an awkward conversation while the frozen ground glowed in the night behind them.

The performances were all excellent.  Brendan Murray was wonderfully creepy as Bart and Arianne Zucker and Ali Skovbye were both perfectly cast as the mother and daughter.

A lot of us watching online especially liked the character of Ben (Scott Gibson), the world’s most heroic bartender.  If Captain America got a job working in a bar, he’d be a lot like Ben.

Finally, there was a character named Lance Lancaster (Seann Gallagher), who everyone liked because his name was Lance Lancaster.  That’s like one of the greatest names ever!

What Did Not Work?

In general, I’m not a fan of any movie where the final half of the film is taken up with scenes of people being held hostage.  A hostage situation always seems to stall whatever narrative momentum the film has been building up and that’s what happened with His Perfect Obsession.

The scene where Bart murders his mother was so drawn out that the scene itself almost became extremely unpleasant and rather icky to watch.  I know that might sound strange coming from a self-confessed horror fanatic like me but the scene was just way too sadistic for a Lifetime film.  As of late, Lifetime seems to be trying to be a bit more edgy as far as violence is concerned but that’s really not why people watch Lifetime.  Lifetime melodrama should be fun, not traumatic.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I’ve never actually worked with a professional accountant.  My sisters do my taxes for me and, when it comes to money, I find that it’s better to spend it now and hold off on worrying until later.  So, I really couldn’t relate to that part of the movie.

What I did relate to was the relationship between Allison and Abigail, which felt very real and was well-played by both actresses.  It reminded me of the type of relationship that I had with my mom.

Lessons Learned

Use TurboTax.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Sometimes The Good Kill (dir by Philippe Gagnon)


(Hi!  I’m currently in the process of cleaning out my DVR!  Hopefully, I’ll be done before the next Congressional special election but it’s going to be a close one!  Anyway, I recorded Sometimes The Good Kill off of Lifetime on May 13th!)

I have to admit that when I saw the title of this one, my first thought was, “Since when is Lifetime doing Spaghetti westerns?”  I mean seriously, Sometimes The Good Kill is one of those titles that would be perfect for a Franco Nero or a Tomas Milian (or maybe even a Terrence Hill) film.

But no, it turns out I was wrong.

Sometimes The Good Kill takes a look at the sordid things that happen behind the scenes at a convent, a question that has apparently obsessed audiences since the first time they heard Hamlet order Ophelia to “get thee to a nunnery!”  Someone is killing nuns, but why?  Things get off to a start when the old Mother Superior is found underneath a ladder.  Then another is found drowned in a bathtub.  The new Mother Superior (Allison Hossack) wants the murders to remain a secret because the convent is struggling financially.  So, instead of calling the police, she just puts the bodies in a freezer.  Fortunately, the newest arrival at the convent — Sister Talia (Susie Abrometi) — has a mysterious past.  She knows the streets.  She knows the darkest aspects of human nature.  Mother Superior wants Talia to solve these murders and she even hands her a gun to make the job easier.

Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?  It does but, once you get over the novelty of nuns hiding guns and solving murders, Sometimes The Good Kill settles down to be a fairly typical Lifetime movie.  The film moves at a rather stately pace and its full of scenes of nuns gossiping in low voices and sometimes, I found myself straining to understand what everyone was saying.  Speaking as someone who comes from an Irish/Italian/Spanish Catholic background, this is a film that I wanted to enjoy more than I actually did.

That said, here are a few words of praise.  While the film’s pacing may have been off, it was relatively well-performed.  My favorite suspect was Sister Jean (Deborah Grover), because she didn’t trust anyone and had no fear of letting people know that.  Even when told that “we’re all Gods creatures,” Sister Jean responded by rolling her eyes. We’ve all known a Sister Jean.  And then there was skittish Sister Mai (Lisa Troung), who was freaked out by the poor people who regularly showed up to ask for food.  Both Grover and Troung did very well in their roles.

Finally, I liked the look of the film.  Sometimes The Good Kill was full of visual atmosphere and took full advantage of its gothic setting.  The film had a visual moodiness, one that kept me watching even when the story itself was lacking.

That said, my favorite gun-carrying nun remains Ms. 45.