Retro Television Reviews: Acting Sheriff 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on January 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Acting Sheriff, which aired on CBS in 1991. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Who is Brent McCord?

Why, he’s the acting sheriff!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Michael Lembeck, originally aired on August 17th, 1991)

At a small country jail in North Carolina, the staff is waiting the arrival of the new sheriff.

Dispatcher Helen Munson (Ruth Kobart) is grumpy and sarcastic, as all older characters were required to be in 1990s sitcoms.

Deputy Judith Mahoney (Diane Delano) is a blonde badass who can’t wait to enforce the law and lock up every criminal that she sees, despite the fact that there aren’t many criminals to be found in this small, rural county.

Deputy Mike Swanson (John Putch) is the smart, responsible deputy who ran for sheriff in the last election but lost, despite his years of hard work and his likability.

Who is the new sheriff? Why, he’s Brent McCord (Robert Goulet), a former Hollywood star who went from starring in films like Get Al Capone and A Fistful of Courage to appearing in books with titles like Where Are They Now? Brent once was a huge star but, after several failed television shows and a handful of divorces, he has returned home and …. run for sheriff, for some reason.

When he does show up at the jail, Brent swaggers around like John Wayne and says things like, “Is the slime infecting the streets waiting for me?” Brent McCord doesn’t know anything about being a county sheriff but he does know how to act like a character in a movie. He walks into the station, draws his gun, and accidentally fires it.

Deputy District Attorney Donna Singer (Hilary B. Smith) is not happy about the new sheriff. She tells him that, “Someone should put a tent over you and charge admission!” She’s even less happy when a banker robber (Lee Tergesen) escapes from the jail, largely due to the sheriff’s incompetence. Fortunately, Deputy Mike remembers a scene from Get Al Capone where McCord’s character recaptured a bank robber by leaving more money around for him to steal. Following the same strategy, Mike recaptures the bank robber but he allows Sheriff McCord to have all the credit. Mike’s a good guy who doesn’t hold a grudge over a silly thing like losing an election to a B-actor.

This pilot, which was produced by Disney for CBS, aired once and that was it. It didn’t lead to anymore episodes and, watching the pilot, it’s easy to see why. The pilot struggles to combine the relatively realistic portrayal of a county jail with the over-the-top performance of Robert Goulet. Occasionally, Goulet will get a laugh by delivering his pompous lines in the most self-serious manner possible. But, far too often, the character is so cartoonish that the other actors don’t seem to know how to keep up with Goulet’s hammy performance. (At times, Goulet seems to be copying William Shatner’s technique without any of Shatner’s charm.) Probably the biggest problem is that pilot fails to answer the most obvious question that one would have while watching the show. Why did Brent McCord run for sheriff? Does he want to do a good job or was he just bored? Does he care about the county or did he just want to see his name in the newspapers? Is he well-intentioned or just buffoonish? The pilot doesn’t seem to know and, as a result, audiences would never find out.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.17 “Taps”

Posted on January 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

I was pretty hard on Monsters last week. In retrospect, I think some of that was due to the fact that I was feeling anxious about getting my new laptop. I stand by what I said about the episode because it wasn’t a good one but I do regret the slight tone of outrage that I took in my review. Seriously, this is not a show to take seriously.

Take tonight’s episode for example….

Episode 1.17 “Taps”

(Dir by David Misch, originally aired on March 4th, 1989)

Suzy St. Claire (Mary Jo Keenan) is a professional dancer who is appearing, on Broadway, in a show that stars and is directed by an egomaniacal tap dancer, Gary Gregory (Neal Jones). Suzy wants freedom from both the show and her romantic relationship with Gary so that she can go to Hollywood and try to become a star. Gary tells her that there’s no way he’ll ever let her go. So, Suzy contacts a lawyer and he helps her got out of the contract, along with suing Gary for sexual harassment. Nah, just kidding. That’s what I would do but Suzy just decides to poison him. When Gary doesn’t die quickly enough and proves to be too big to fit in a suitcase, Suzy dismembers him.

A few years later, Suzy is in Hollywood with her agent, Sam (Dan Frazer). She demands to know why Meryl Streep is getting Oscar nominations but she’s not. Sam points out that starring in Graveyard Slasher III is not the path to getting Academy recognition. After Sam leaves, Suzy realizes that she’s not alone in her apartment. She looks over at the window and, behind the curtains, she sees a familiar red shoe. She opens the curtains and is confronted by….

…. A DISEMBODIED LEG!

Apparently, she forgot to destroy Gary’s leg and now, it has tracked her down. In a scene that has to be seen to be believed, she is chased around the apartment by the leg. When she tries to leave the apartment, the leg trips her. The leg hops up and down until she says, “You want to dance with me?” It’s a scene that is so ludicrous that it nearly works. The only problem is that a hopping leg, on its own, doesn’t really have the type of forward momentum necessary to be a real threat. If you can’t outrun one hopping leg, maybe you deserve whatever you get.

In Suzy’s case, that means using a meat carver to chop off her own leg and then somehow — it’s never shown how — attaching Gary’s leg to the stump. When we next see Suzy, she is back in New York and Sam is wondering why she’s abandoned her film career to return to dancing.

Good Lord, this was silly. To its credit, it was meant to be silly. None of the dialogue was meant to be taken seriously and the actors were all clearly in on the joke. But, ultimately, that disembodied leg was just too utterly ridiculous for the story to work. I applaud this episode for laughing at itself but I just wish it had been a little better executed. Add to that, for an episode about dancers, we didn’t get to see nearly enough dancing. Sorry, the hopping leg doesn’t count.

Next week …. Tori Spelling guest stars! We’ll see how that goes.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 3.27 “Invisible Maniac/September Song/Peekaboo”

Posted on January 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat has a very special passengers!

Episode 3.27 “Invisible Maniac/September Song/Peekaboo”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on April 19th, 1980)

This week, the pop cultural stars align as a young David Hasselhoff boards the Love Boat!

Hasselhoff plays Tom Bell, a 20-something attorney who is dating a 30-something attorney named Cathy (Shelley Fabares). Cathy insists that they keep their romance a secret due to the age difference. She doesn’t want people to think that she’s a cradle robber or an older woman with a gigolo. (Cathy might also want to consider that she’s a senior partner at the firm while Tom is just a junior partner.) Tom doesn’t care about the age difference. In fact, he wants to marry Cathy!

And yes, they do eventually get married. Tom even has his grandparents waiting for them when the boat docks in Los Angeles so that they can act as witnesses. There’s not really any suspense as to whether or not Tom and Cathy will end up married because this is The Love Boat, the show that combined the swinging culture of the 70s with the morality of the 50s. The Hoff is his usual dramatic but self-aware self while Shelley Fabares is endlessly likable. They’re a cute couple and, minor age difference aside, they just look like they belong together. It was a sweet story.

As for the other passengers:

Fay Piermont (Peggy Cass) is married to Bill (Gordon Jump). Bill’s a nice guy but Fay fears that they’ve become a boring couple. She wants to be an exciting couple and she’s figured out that the way to do this is to get a makeover, buy a new wardrobe, and then toss her glasses and all of her frumpy clothes overboard. (At first, both Julie and Vicki are worried that Fay is planning on throwing herself overboard. One would think that would be cause for ship-wide alarm but Julie and Vicki just check on Fay occasionally to make sure she’s still alive.) At first, Bill is freaked out by Fay’s new attitude but, eventually, he comes to accept it and Fay comes to realize that she loves Bill, even if he is a bit reserved. This is the type of story that The Love Boat did frequently. Fay and Bill are a nice couple, even if they’re no Tom and Cathy.

Finally, Isaac is reunited with a former high school classmate, a model named Janet (BernNadette Stanis). Janet is upset that her husband (Clifton Davis) is more into sports than romance so she tries to make him jealous by lying about what a womanizer Isaac was in high school. Gopher overhears and tells Isaac that Janet referred to him as being “all hands” in high school. Now, most people would understand that Janet was just trying to make her husband jealous but Isaac somehow becomes convinced that he is a womanizer but he just can’t remember his actions because he suffers from dissociative identity disorder and he even goes to Doc Bricker for help! Why would Isaac believe that? It makes no sense that Isaac — cool, calm Isaac — would suddenly be so stupid. This is something that would happen to Gopher not Isaac.

That one silly storyline aside, this was a pleasant cruise on The Love Boat. I’m glad things worked out for Tom and Cathy. Seriously, the world is so lucky to have The Hoff.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.11 “Takeover”

Posted on January 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Baywatch Nights reboots for the first time and gets a brand new opening.

Episodes 1.11 “Takeover”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on February 3rd, 1996)

This week’s episode opens with Mitch arriving at Nights early in the morning. Ryan and Garner are waiting for him and so are all of the club’s waitresses. Some expositional dialogue establishes that Lou Raymond has sold Nights to “D.M. Marco.” The waitresses are waiting to see if they still have jobs. Ryan, Garner, and Mitch are waiting so that they can re-sign a lease for their detective agency….

Eleven episodes into the first season and Baywatch Nights has already rebooted itself! It’s usually not a good sign when a show drastically changes its format or starts writing out old characters and replacing them with new people. Usually, when this happens, it’s because the show’s rating have suddenly declined and the producers are desperately trying to inject some new life into things. It’s never a good sign when something like this happens before the first season is even halfway finished.

As Mitch waits, a blonde wearing a short but not particularly flattering blue dress steps into the club. Mitch assumes that she’s a waitress and starts hitting on her. Ha ha! Joke’s on you, Mitch! She’s Donna Marco (Donna D’Errico) and she’s your new landlord and a new regular on the show! Mitch is stunned to discover that women can be successful in business. This kind of goes against everything that the viewer has previously learned about Mitch but whatever. It’s a reboot! It’s a new world! And now Mitch is apparently one of those guys who is left with his mouth agape over the idea of a woman being the boss.

As for this week’s case, it’s also about business. Someone is targeting the executives of a company called Rancor. Two of those executives went to high school with Mitch so he’s not going to let anyone kill them. That said, a lot of executives who don’t have a previous Mitch connection do end up dying. In fact, this episode has the highest body count of Baywatch Nights so far. At first, Mitch assumes that the murders are being orchestrated by a corporate raider who wants to take over the business and who has apparently never learned how to buy stock. But instead, the murderer turns out to be a blonde executive named Nicki (Sandra Hess), who blames the company for death of her father. Despite her murderous ways, there are some sparks of romance between Nicki and Mitch but that comes to an end when Nicki blows herself up while trying to take out the final Rancor executive.

This was a weird episode, as the pacing felt off and the story was far more violent than any of the ones that came before it. At one point, Mitch gets a favor from an IRS agent by promising him a date with Donna and that just felt really icky. There’s another extended scene where both a businessman and the show’s cameraman spends several minutes leering at Ryan’s legs and again, it just felt off. Previously, the show had never been shy about showing off Angie Harmon’s legs and, speaking as someone who enjoys showing off her own legs, there’s nothing wrong with that but, in this particular episode, it crosses the line from being appreciative to being tacky. One could tell that the show’s producers brainstormed and couldn’t come up with anything better than, “Let’s make Baywatch Nights more like Baywatch!”

What’s sad is that Baywatch Nights really didn’t need a reboot. The first ten episodes were, for the most part, fun and entertaining in their vapid way. This episode, though, feels like it’s begging for attention and that’s never a good look. Don’t worry, though. Not all reboots are bad, as we’ll see in another 11 episodes. That is when we will reach season 2 of Baywatch Nights.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

Posted on January 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

The plane has arrived!

Episode 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on January 10th 1981)

This week’s episode of Fantasy Island is all about being someone that you’re not.

For instance, Hadley Boggs (Stephen Shortridge) wants to thank his family for taking out a mortgage on the family farm, just so he could go to MIT. Hadley has a great future ahead of him but he just wants his dad (Noah Beery, Jr.), mother (Dody Goodman), and sister (Misty Rowe) to have a chance to be live like rich people for the weekend.

Fantasy Island to the rescue!

When the Boggs family arrives, they are shocked to discover that they are going to be living in a mansion. Mr. Roarke has arranged for them to host a cocktail party with ten of the richest men on the island. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of telling Tattoo to place an invite for the party in the Fantasy Island Chronicle. (Yes, Fantasy Island has a newspaper and, in this episode, it appears to be printed in red ink.) Tattoo decides to spice things up by claiming that the Boggs family owns a uranium mine. Mr. Roarke is not happy.

“But, boss,” Tattoo says, “I am your best assistant!”

“That does not matter,” Roarke snaps before explaining that the Boggs family could be in a lot of trouble if they start buying things with money they don’t have or selling property they don’t own.

And, of course, that’s just what happens. Roger Fox (Shecky Greene) offers the father of the family a few million dollars for the mine. Thinking that it’s all part of the fantasy, Dad agrees. Roger then sells the non-existent mine to someone else because it turns out that Roger is a con artist at heart. Fortunately, with Roarke’s help, the family is able to con Roger into giving them back the non-existent mine and Hadley even falls in love with Roger’s daughter, Kathi (Kathrine Baumann). To be honest, I had a hard time following exactly how Mr. Roarke conned Roger into giving up his fake mine but I’m glad things worked out.

This fantasy was …. eh. The problem is that Hadley’s family was presented as being borderline idiots, what with their amazed reaction to existence of cars, airplanes, servants, and checking accounts. It’s one thing to make them a poor farm family. It’s another to treat them as if they’re the members of a cargo cult that has never had contact with modern human beings before. West Virginia is not the Amazon Rain Forest.

The other fantasy featured Maureen McCormick in one of her six trips to the Island. This time, she plays Trudy Brown (Maureen McCormick), an orphaned gymnast who is treated terribly by her aunt (Janis Paige) and her cousin (Holly Gagnier). Trudy wants to win the Fantasy Island Gymnastics Competition and, in the process, she wants to defeat her cousin. Mr. Roarke gives her the power of telekinesis, which Trudy promptly used to make her cousin fall off the high beam. Roarke gives Trudy a stern talking to.

It’s a struggle but eventually, Trudy realizes that she doesn’t want to win through magic powers. Nor does she want to hurt her cousin or anyone else competing. Roarke takes away her powers and Trudy, having learned a valuable lesson, wins the competition on her own.

This fantasy was actually a lot of fun, just because it gave the viewer a chance to see what Carrie would have been like if Maureen McCormick had played the title role instead of Sissy Spacek. McCormick seems to be having lot of fun loosening screws with her mind. Toss in some gymnastics with the telekinesis and you have classic Island fantasy!

This episode had one boring fantasy and one good fantasy. Luckily, the good overshadowed the boring.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.11 “Name Your Price”

Posted on January 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch again fails to get rich.

Episode 1.11 “Name Your Price”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on December 8th, 1977)

This week’s episode opens on an unusually somber note for CHiPs. It begins in a cemetery. A woman (Jaime Lynn Bauer) is dressed in chic funeral black and appears to be attending a service. But it soon turns out that she’s actually just making sure that everyone is so distracted by mourning that they won’t notice her stealing a Rolls Royce!

It turns out that a Rolls is not quite as easy to steal as she thought and soon, she finds herself being pursued by Ponch and Baker. It’s a chase that leads from the highway and into the city and, to Ponch and Baker’s shock, they lose sight of the stolen car.

“How does a Rolls Royce vanish!?” Ponch asks, in shock.

Ponch is a bit distracted himself this episode. He has been accepted as a contestant on a game show called Name Your Price! Name Your Price is obviously meant to be The Price Is Right and Ponch spends the majority of the episode memorizing the price tags on appliances. Unfortunately, Ponch does not memorize the price tag of a motorcycle and therefore, he turns out to be a bit of a bust when he appears on the show. As Baker and his date sneak out of the studio, Ponch is humiliated as the show’s host wonders how a motorcycle cop could not know how much a motorcycle costs.

Oh, Ponch — will you ever win!?

It’s not all bad for Ponch. He and Baker pull over a car and Ponch is excited to discover that it’s occupied by the two stars of his favorite soap opera. (Does Ponch do anything other than watch television?) And Ponch also gets to help out when a chicken truck is involved in a minor accident and dozens of chickens end up running around the highway. As usual, the main emphasis of this episode is on the idea of the members of the highway patrol working together and keeping the streets safe for chickens and humans. Yes, this episode says, the CHiPs do chase car thieves and arrest criminals. But usually, they’re just taking care of mundane tasks and getting little thanks and little pay.

This episode was entertaining. I enjoyed looking at the cars that were stolen. If you’re going to commit a crime, you might as well commit it for a Rolls Royce. And the ending with the game show was a lot more effective than the typical CHiPs ending. Ponch has spent the first 11 episodes of this show destroying motorcycles so it’s a nice bit of humor that a motorcycle would destroy his chance to get rich. That’s karma!

Next week, Baker and Ponch continue to keep L.A. safe!

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.19 “The Home Invaders”

Posted on January 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Crockett and Castillo take down some home invaders. Yes, Crockett and Castillo. Not Crockett and Tubbs. Read on to find out why.

Episode 1.19 “The Home Invaders”

(Dir by Abel Ferrara, originally produced by March 15th, 1985)

Always do your research.

Philip Michael Thomas does not appear in this episode of Miami Vice. At the start of the episode, it’s mentioned that he’s in New York, visiting Valerie Gordon. It’s a line that sounds like it was written at the spur of the moment and, when I heard it, I assumed that there had been some sort of behind-the-scenes drama between Thomas and the producers. Fortunately, before I went with that and said something snarky, I actually looked up the reason for Thomas’s absence and I discovered that he was injured performing a stunt in the previous episode. Thomas missed this episode because he was recovering. As well, this was the only episode that he missed during the entire run of Miami Vice.

Thomas may be absent but that doesn’t mean that crime is going to take a break in Miami. A series of violent home invasions lead to Crockett and Castillo getting temporarily assigned to the robbery division. Crockett is excited to be working under his former boss and mentor, Lt. John Malone (Jack Kehoe). Castillo quickly realizes that Malone has gotten rusty and that his investigation into the robberies has been sloppy.

This is a moody episode, with the emphasis as much on Crockett’s disillusionment with his old boss as with the efforts to catch the home invaders. That said, the home invaders are a scary bunch. Led by Esai Morales and David Patrick Kelly, they are totally ruthless and willing to kill anyone who fails to move quickly enough. The scenes in which they break into various mansions and threaten the inhabitants are difficult to watch and it definitely captures the trauma of having your personal space invaded and your sense of safety destroyed.

(When I was 17, our house was broken into and, for months, I couldn’t sleep through the night. Almost every night, I was woken up by what I thought was the sound of someone breaking into my house and I would end up walking through the house in my nightclothes, carrying a golf club for protection. One night, I nearly hit my sister when she came out of the kitchen with a midnight snack. It may sound funny now but, at the time, it was terrifying.)

It ends with a shootout that’s violent even by the standards of Miami Vice. Castillo and Crockett gun down the bad guys and it’s hard not to notice that, while Crockett seems to be clearly upset by the fact that he had to kill a few men, Castillo barely shows any emotion at all. Castillo is effective because he holds back his feelings about everything. That’s also why Castillo, and not Crockett, is capable of seeing that Lt. Malone is past his prime. With the home invaders neutralized, Malone tells Crockett that he’s quitting the force. His days of being an effective detective are over. The job and all of the terrible stuff that he deals with on a daily basis has left him burned out and it’s hard not to notice that he and Crockett are the same age. Fighting crime in Miami takes a toll.

This episode was directed by Abel Ferrara, who keeps the action moving quickly and who fills the screen with ennui-drenched images of people who are not sure whether they’re making any difference at all. This is an effective episode, even without the presence of Ricardo Tubbs.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 2.4 “Dinner & A Show”

Posted on January 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

In yourself, you must believe….

Episode 2.4 “Dinner & A Show”

(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on January 25th, 1988)

It’s a night of awkward dates and dinners on this week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High!

Yick Yu finally works up the courage to ask Melanie if she would like to go to a movie with him. While Kathleen rolls her eyes in the background, Melanie says that she’d love to see a movie with Yick. Yick suggests that they see Revenge of the Reptile, which is really gory and features killer reptiles! Melanie says that she’s not into any of that and suggests that they instead see Crying Into The Wind. Yick agrees, even though it’s obvious that Crying Into The Wind is not a film that is going to appeal to a typical 13 year-old male.

After Yick leaves, Kathleen makes fun of Melanie for having a date. Melanie replies that it’s not a date. She and Yick are just friends and Melanie is looking for “a man.” Right on schedule, Snake walks up and asks Melanie if she wants to see a movie. Melanie, forgetting all about her plans with Yick, says, “Sure!” Snake suggests Revenge of the Reptile. Melanie, forgetting that she’s not into gory reptile films, says, “Sure!”

Poor Yick is heartbroken when Melanie tells him that something has come up and she won’t be able to go to the movies with him. Arthur suggests that Yick cheer himself up by going to see Revenge of the Reptile….

Meanwhile, Shane’s parents want to have dinner with Spike and her mother. Shane’s parents have decided a few things. First off, the baby is going to be given up for adoption. Secondly, Shane is going to private school. While sending Shane to a private school might not be a bad idea, deciding what’s going to happen to the baby before they’ve even met Spike or her mother is definitely not cool. Shane’s parents are the first of many bad parents that will show up over the course of Degrassi’s long history.

Spike decides to just not tell her mom about the dinner invitation. But then Shane’s parents call personally and invite them to a fancy restaurant. Needless to say, it’s not a pleasant dinner. Shane’s father not only wants to send Shane to private school but he also thinks that Spike should be sent to a home for unwed mothers, like a character in a 1930s farm melodrama. Shane’s mother, meanwhile, makes no secret of the fact that she blames Spike more than she blames her son. Finally, Shane stands up for himself and says that he’s not going to go to private school. Of course, Shane then ruins the moment by saying that he’s ready to be a father. No, Shane, you’re not. You’re barely ready to be in the 8th Grade.

At the movie theater, Snake and Melanie discover that they really don’t have much in common. Snake may be a nice guy but he’s a terrible conversationalist. Joey and Wheels, upset that they don’t have dates, show up and spend the whole time making snarky comments. (Joey brings along a toy Godzilla that he uses to try to scare Melanie.) Worst of all, Yick shows up and finds himself staring straight at Melanie. Melanie smiles awkwardly while Yick’s heart breaks once again.

The next day, at school, Melanie tells Kathleen that her date wasn’t that great. Meanwhile, Spike asks Shane if he even wants her to have the baby and Shane can’t answer.

I loved the way the episode contrasted the awkwardness of Melanie’s date with the awkwardness of Spike’s dinner. Melanie’s problems are nowhere near as serious as Spike’s but both of them are a result of immature people trying to make mature decisions. The main theme of this episode is that no one is ready to be an adult. Melanie says that she’s ready to date “a man,” but she can’t even find it in herself to be honest with Yick. Yick and Snake both want to start dating but they’re still incapable of understanding that Revenge of the Reptile is not exactly a romantic movie. Shane wants to be a father but can barely stand up to his own parents. Shane’s parents may be adults but they don’t understand that being an adult means talking to other people before deciding their lives for them. The only person who truly understands how lost everyone is Spike and all she can do is try to make it day-by-day.

Watching an episode like this, it’s nice to know that Spike will eventually find happiness with Snake and that her daughter will grow up to be Emma. I can only imagine how emotionally devastating all of this must have been for people watching it for the first time in 1988. Degrassi Junior High rarely offered false hope, which is why it remains relevant today.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.15 “Otherwise Engaged”

Posted on January 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Edna’s mother visits!

Episode 1.15 “Otherwise Engaged”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 22nd, 1986)

This week’s episode is way too dependent on the idiot plot.

The idiot plot is one of those stories where every complication is the result of everyone acting like an idiot and then reacting even more like an idiot. Plots like this drive me crazy and, to be honest, it’s difficult for me to watch them. The solutions are always so simple that it’s hard not to get frustrated with everyone’s refusal not to be stupid. Idiot plots are probably closer to reality than most people might wan to admit. There’s a lot of idiots out there.

As for this episode, it opens with everyone admiring Marlene’s diamond engagement ring. Marlene has a new boyfriend, a guy who she met at night and become engaged to in the morning. Marlene isn’t sure what the guy’s name is but she does appreciate his taste in jewelry. This part of the show was funny, largely because Kathleen Laskey played Marlene as being an unapologetic force of chaos. She’s the Kyrsten Sinema of Canada.

But then Marlene allows Edna (who has been dating Howard for years without a proposal) to wear the ring and — surprise! — Edna can’t get it off. And then Edna’s overbearing mother (Nancy Kerr) shows up and thinks that Edna and Howard are engaged. And, instead of telling her the truth, Edna and Howard allow her to believe it. Even when Edna’s mother starts planning the wedding, Edna and Howard do not tell her the truth. Seriously, Howard …. Edna …. JUST TELL HER! Or don’t tell her and then get married because, seriously, why not? If nothing else, it would take care of all the ethical issues that are currently raised by Howard dating one of his employees.

Now, there are some funny moments in this episode. Edna’s mother wears perfume that is so strong that the store’s customers start to pass out. One woman is splashed with a bucket of water and ends up changing her clothes in Howard’s office. Edna isn’t happy about that but then Christian explains to her what was going on. See? Misunderstandings are easily resolved when you EXPLAIN things. It’s not that difficult.

In the end, it turns out that Marlene’s boyfriend is a jewel thief. (Marlene doesn’t care because Marlene is all about breaking the rules.) Edna’s mother learns the truth and decides to move to the city so she can be closer to Edna and Howard. Edna is happy. Howard less so.

Anyway, this episode made me chuckle a few times but, ultimately, it was just too dependent on everyone acting like an idiot. Edna just needs to accept that she’s never going to get married.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/14/24 — 1/20/24

Posted on January 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I am typing this post on a new laptop. Woo hoo!

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

American Nightmare (Netflix)

This was a disturbing, 3-part docuseries about a woman who was kidnapped and raped and then put on trial by the police and the media, all of whom seemed to be determined to prove that she was a real life “gone girl.” This series was just infuriating to watch and everyone who nearly allowed Matthew Muller to get away with his crimes should be ashamed of themselves.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I need to write a review about this week’s episode so I guess I better get on that.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which a man was concerned that his much younger girlfriend was cheating on him with another woman. She confessed, while being interrogated by a former military interrogator, that he was correct. The Cutlers were there to help this couple through the drama.

On Saturday, I discovered an entire YouTube channel dedicated to Couples Court so I probably won’t get anything accomplished for the first half of 2024.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

On Monday morning, as I shivered in the living room, I got caught up on Hell’s Kitchen and watched the first Black Jacket Service. What a disaster that turned out to be! I felt bad for Jonathan, who did not react well to Chef Ramsay taunting him about how much he drank before dinner service. Jonathan had a point, in that Ramsay really was kind of making it personal. At this point, I think the final two will be Ryan and Sammi. I’m Team Ryan all the way!

On Thursday, I cheered as Ryan and Sammi made it to the final three. I probably would have kept Carmen and sent Jonathan home but I can understand Ramsay’s logic. Jonathan had more experience than Carmen and Carmen did struggle early on in the season.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Maury (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode with DNA results. All of the episodes of Maury to blend together, which I guess is the appeal of them. They demand very little on the part of the viewers.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I was actually bored enough on Wednesday to watch the first four episodes of this show’s second season. While the ensemble seems to be gelling a bit better than they did during the first season, Night Court just isn’t that funny. Every joke sounds like it’s been sitting in some writer’s idea drawer since 2005.

Poochinski (YouTube)

I wrote about Poochinski here!

Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Steve talked to a pregnant 17 year-old. She thought her boyfriend was 25. It turned out he was 38! Needless to say, Steve kicked him off the stage while the audience chanted Steve’s name.

On Thursday, I watched an episode about threesomes that led to pregnancies. The audience loved it but Steve seemed to be disappointed by everyone on his stage.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!