Late Night Retro Television Review: Check it Out! 1.19 “My Darling Serpentine”

Posted on February 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Cobb’s descends into chaos!

Episode 1.19 “My Darling Serpentine”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 19th, 1986)

Last week, Edna left Howard after an argument and Howard had an affair with her replacement. It was implied that Edna leaving Howard was a frequent occurrence and that Howard was the least romantic man alive.

This episode, Edna and Howard are once again totally in love and Howard is so romantic that Edna can even brag about all of the presents that he’s given her over the years.

Continuity, what is it?

This year, Howard is busy at the store so he makes the mistake of sending Alf the security guard out to pick up a piece of jewelry for Edna. Alf, however, gets distracted while walking by a pet store and instead, he returns to the store with a hamster. Edna freaks out about the idea of owning a rodent and instead, she gives it to Murray. The hamster then escapes into the store, which isn’t good since there’s a health inspector in the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, it’s prom night for Murray and he needs a date. Not surprisingly, he asks supercool Marlene to be his date. Also not surprisingly, Marlene laughs in his face. However, after thinking about how she never got to go to her prom because she dropped out of school, Marlene changes her mind. Murray is super-excited until Christian and Alf suggest that Marlene is going to take his virginity. When Marlene shows up in the break room in her prom dress and a blue wig, Murray freaks out.

Murray runs away and disappears into the store. Now, everyone not only has to look for the hamster but also for Murray.

This episode is a bit frantic but it made me laugh. A lot of that was because Gordon Clapp made his third appearance on the show, playing the cheerfully dumb Viker. Previously, Viker was the store’s electrician. In this episode, he’s suddenly a pest control expert. In order to track down the hamster, he released a snake into the store. In order to track down the snake, he releases a mongoose. “I’m glad I don’t shop here,” Viker says. Gordon Clapp delivers all of Viker’s lines with such sincerity that his brief appearance elevates the entire episode.

In the end, thinks work out. The snake is caught when it attacks Howard. Marlene forgives Murray and they head off to prom. The hamster runs off with Marlene’s blue wig. And Edna is surprisingly forgiving about Howard telling the security guard to buy her an anniversary present. As for the mongoose …. well, I’m sure it found a good place to live. The important thing is that this episode made me laugh more than the typical episode of Check It Out! I enjoyed it.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.18 “Store Wars”

Posted on February 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, both Cobb’s and Edna get some competition!

Episode 1.18 “Store Wars”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 12th, 1986)

Odd episode, this week.

After having a fight with Howard, Edna abruptly leaves town for Florida. Apparently, this is something that she does frequently. (We are 18 episodes in and this show has yet to come up with a consistent portrayal of Howard and Edna’s relationship.) I have to admit that I’ve never worked retail so I’m not totally sure how these things work but can you just stop going to work whenever you feel like it and still have a job? It seems like this is the sort of thing that would get most people fired. Maybe it’s different when you’re sleeping with the boss.

Anyway, Howard gets a new secretary and he is shocked to discover that Irene (Cynthia Belliveau) is young and attractive and totally into him. Soon, Howard is wearing an earring, sunglasses, and dressing like Bruce Springsteen. Irene even teaches Howard how to do yoga.

All of this leads to Howard getting distracted from the latest work crisis. A new store has opened up across the street. Just Food sells …. well, just food. There are no bag boys or special displays or anything else that would cost any extra money so Just Food can lower their prices. Soon, all of Cobb’s customers are going to Just Food! Even when Christian lowers the prices at Cobb’s, Just Food lowers their prices even more. Is it possible that Just Food could have a spy in the store?

Yes, there is a spy and, as you probably already guessed, the spy is Irene. (How did Irene get the job? Didn’t she have to go through a background check? Do they not do that in Canada?) Howard eventually figures it all out but he feels a little better when Irene tells him that, even though she was a spy, she truly did fall for him. They share a passionate kiss and the audience applauds. Then Irene leaves and Howard calls Edna to ask her to come back home. “Awwwww!” the audience says.

Uhmmm …. yeah. Thanks for the mixed signals, studio audience. Howard basically cheated on Edna while she was gone but apparently that’s okay because, afterwards, Howard asked her to come back home. Is Howard ever going to tell Edna about Irene? She’s going to find out as soon as she asks either Marlene or Jennifer about what happened at the store while she was gone. Unless Edna was hooking up with a 21 year-old life guard in Florida, Howard’s screwed either way.

This episode just felt off. Howard can be a jerk but he’s always been loyal to Edna, even when they’ve fought in the past. The “Store Wars” storyline had potential but it was pretty much overshadowed by Howard trying to be Springsteen. This episode just didn’t work.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.17 “Banzai”

Posted on February 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, I finally get a chance to review the episode that I should have reviewed last week. Nature is healing.

Episode 1.17 “Banzai”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 8th, 1986)

Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) has decided that it would be a good idea to send someone over to Japan to study how the Japanese have become such efficient employers and employees. That is an idea that actually isn’t bad and totally makes sense. Give some points to the show for having a good idea for once.

However, for some reason, Mrs. Cobb wants to send over not an executive and not a store manager but an assistant store manager. That makes no sense. If you want to make changes, why wouldn’t you send someone over who has the authority to do so? As usual, Mrs. Cobb wants it to be someone from Howard’s store. The show has always implied that Mrs. Cobb is the richest woman in Canada and that she actually owns several businesses across the North American continent. It’s odd that the only one she ever seems to care about is Howard’s store.

Assistant Store Manager Jack Christian is on vacation in Fiji so Howard has to pick a temporary replacement who can go to Japan. Mrs. Cobb tells him to pick a woman and since Marlene has a criminal record and Jennifer is not in this episode, the job falls to Edna.

Edna goes to Japan and then returns with a lot of ideas for how to make Cobb’s better. Cue Howard’s comic exasperation as Edna demands informality in the workplace, a lack of walls, and a mandatory exercise period. Also cue the two Japanese workers that Edna brought back with her, who proceed to tear down the walls of Howard’s office.

Watching all of this, I had to wonder just how long Christian’s Fiji vacation lasted. This episode seemed to take place over the course of a month, maybe even longer. It lasted long enough for the staff to rebel against Edna and for Mrs. Cobb to change her mind about using Japanese methods in her business. And it lasted long enough for Edna to decide that she would rather go back to being Howard’s administrative assistant. Jack Christian did return by the end of the episode, which is good since Jeff Pustil (who played Christian) and Kathleen Laskey (who played Marlene) were the show’s two most consistent comedic performers. (Interestingly enough, they’re married in real life.)

This was actually not a bad episode. I always cringe a bit whenever I see any 80s or 90s sitcom attempting to deal with cultural differences, especially when the other culture is Japanese. Just judging from a lot of the shows that I’ve seen, it would appear that many Americans (and I guess Canadians) in the 80s felt like the only way to deal with Japan’s competitive economy was to make often juvenile jokes about Japanese tourists with cameras and the poor dubbing that most Japanese films suffered on their way to American screens. This episode of Check It Out! is actually respectful of Japanese business culture, even if the show’s message seems to be that it ultimately isn’t right for the more laid back culture of Canada.

As for what happens in next week’s episode — who knows? We’ll find out.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check it Out 1.16 “Dog Day After Dark”

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve had a busy day and I’m running behind because I’ve been doing totally responsible stuff and not because I’ve been watching trashy talk shows. Definitely not! Anyway, this review is a little late. That said, when you’re reviewing an obscure Canadian sitcom from the 80s, you can probably be as late as you want.

Episode 1.16 “Dog Day After Dark”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 1st, 1986)

Howard is super excited because not only is his birthday coming up but he’s also got a side hustle. He’s appearing in commercials for Cobb’s, dressed in a giant cheeseball costume and encourage everyone to buy the store brand cheese. When a group of protestors shows up at the store to protest just how unhealthy the Cobb’s cheeseballs are, Howard orders them kicked out. Their leader, wealthy hamburger restaurant heiress Sonja (Sheila McCarthy), vows to return and to make sure that all of Canada knows how unhealthy their diet truly is.

(Violent and wealthy vegans who want to control everyone’s lives? Check It Out! may be a silly sitcom but it still managed to predict our silly sitcom future.)

Meanwhile, Edna is busy trying to put together an after-hours surprise party for Howard in the breakroom. (Check It Out! has never been that consistent when it comes to portraying the staff’s feelings towards Howard. There are some episodes where Howard is a jerk and everyone dislikes him. However, in this episode, they all love him and can’t wait to celebrate with him.) Edna tells security guard Alf to distract Howard while she gets things set up. Unfortunately, Alf is so busy telling Howard about his cat that he’s not at his post when Sonja and her followers show up and take everyone hostage.

In some scenarios, this could lead to a Die Hard situation, with Howard taking on the role for John McClane. And, indeed, that would be kind of fun. But this is Check It Out!, one of the most Canadian sitcoms of all time. So, everyone decides to celebrate Howard’s birthday even though they’re being held hostage, the terrorists are more goofy than dangerous, and, as the police and media rush into the store, Howard ends up eating one of the cheeseballs and getting sick on Canadian television.

(Despite being a very Canadian show, Check It Out! usually tried to obscure what country the show was actually set in so that it would have a better chance of finding an audience in the U.S.A. That said, it’s hard not to notice that all of the vegan terrorists have French names.)

This was a pretty silly episode bit it was hard not to appreciate the goofiness of it all. It was dumb but it was also light-hearted and good-natured, as the better episodes of this show tend to be.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.15 “Otherwise Engaged”

Posted on January 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Edna’s mother visits!

Episode 1.15 “Otherwise Engaged”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 22nd, 1986)

This week’s episode is way too dependent on the idiot plot.

The idiot plot is one of those stories where every complication is the result of everyone acting like an idiot and then reacting even more like an idiot. Plots like this drive me crazy and, to be honest, it’s difficult for me to watch them. The solutions are always so simple that it’s hard not to get frustrated with everyone’s refusal not to be stupid. Idiot plots are probably closer to reality than most people might wan to admit. There’s a lot of idiots out there.

As for this episode, it opens with everyone admiring Marlene’s diamond engagement ring. Marlene has a new boyfriend, a guy who she met at night and become engaged to in the morning. Marlene isn’t sure what the guy’s name is but she does appreciate his taste in jewelry. This part of the show was funny, largely because Kathleen Laskey played Marlene as being an unapologetic force of chaos. She’s the Kyrsten Sinema of Canada.

But then Marlene allows Edna (who has been dating Howard for years without a proposal) to wear the ring and — surprise! — Edna can’t get it off. And then Edna’s overbearing mother (Nancy Kerr) shows up and thinks that Edna and Howard are engaged. And, instead of telling her the truth, Edna and Howard allow her to believe it. Even when Edna’s mother starts planning the wedding, Edna and Howard do not tell her the truth. Seriously, Howard …. Edna …. JUST TELL HER! Or don’t tell her and then get married because, seriously, why not? If nothing else, it would take care of all the ethical issues that are currently raised by Howard dating one of his employees.

Now, there are some funny moments in this episode. Edna’s mother wears perfume that is so strong that the store’s customers start to pass out. One woman is splashed with a bucket of water and ends up changing her clothes in Howard’s office. Edna isn’t happy about that but then Christian explains to her what was going on. See? Misunderstandings are easily resolved when you EXPLAIN things. It’s not that difficult.

In the end, it turns out that Marlene’s boyfriend is a jewel thief. (Marlene doesn’t care because Marlene is all about breaking the rules.) Edna’s mother learns the truth and decides to move to the city so she can be closer to Edna and Howard. Edna is happy. Howard less so.

Anyway, this episode made me chuckle a few times but, ultimately, it was just too dependent on everyone acting like an idiot. Edna just needs to accept that she’s never going to get married.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.14 “Supermarket Superbowlers”

Posted on January 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week is all about bowling! Wasn’t CHiPs also all about bowling this week?

Episode 1.14 “Supermarket Superbowlers”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 15th, 1986)

Cobb’s has got a bowling team!

They’ve managed to get into the league finals and, according to Howard, all of the credit goes to their stockboy, Murray. Murray may not be good at bagging groceries but he is apparently a great bowler. He’s such a good bowler that it doesn’t even matter that Edna is a terrible bowler. In fact, Edna is so bad that she doesn’t even get to bowl. The only reason she is on the team is so she can step in if someone gets injured.

Someone does get injured! Murray breaks his arm and right before the big game too. However, Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) has told Howard that she wants the store to win that championship trophy and she’ll give everyone on the team a $500 bonus if they win. But if Edna plays, they don’t have a chance. In order to keep Edna on the sidelines, Jack Christian tracks down a former pro bowler and hires him to be the temporary stock boy. “Big Ed” Politowski (J. Winston Carroll) is a total slob who doesn’t appear to have taken a shower in months but apparently, he’s really good with a bowling ball.

Seeing how disappointed Edna is, Howard decides to fake a foot injury so that he’ll have to withdraw from the team and Edna will be able to play in his place. But, no sooner has he faked one injury than Christian drops a bowling ball on Howard’s other foot. (Why was Christian walking around the store with a bowling ball? I’m not sure.) Big Ed picks up Howard to take him to the hospital, which leads to an unseen but definitely heard crash in the parking lot.

The end result is that Howard ends up on crutches, the store does not win the trophy, and no one gets five hundred dollars. But everyone is really impressed by the fact that Howard faked an injury just so Edna could play. Of course, if Howard hadn’t faked an injury, they might have won the tournament and they would all be five hundred dollars richer. Apparently, Cobb’s only hires those who have a very, very generous spirit.

This was a fairly forgettable episode, one in which there really weren’t any stakes other than a trophy and a little extra money. Considering the big deal that Mrs. Cobb made about wanting to win that trophy, no one seemed to be particularly worried about any bad consequences from losing the game. Considering that Murray broke his arm at work, no one seemed to be worried about whether or not he would recover or perhaps sue the store. There were no consequences to anything that happened in this story and that’s fine. Not everything has to be a matter of life and death.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode is that neither Alf the Security Guard nor Jennifer the Cashier appeared. In-universe, I going to assume the episode took place on their off-days but you do have to wonder if either one of them could bowl.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.13 “Love Is A Many Splendored Alf”

Posted on January 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, my favorite character returns!

Episode 1.13 “Love Is A Many Splendored Alf”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on January 8th, 1986)

Viker’s back!

Played by Gordon Clapp, Viker is the store’s electrician. He’s only appeared in a handful of episodes this season, though Wikipedia says that he’ll become a regular during season 2. Viker is one of the best characters on the show. Technically, he’s the goofy dumb guy but what makes Viker special is that, while he’s definitely goofy, he’s not really that dumb. Viker can put his thoughts together, it’s just that he put them together differently than everyone around him. Viker lives in a world of his own, one that has its own peculiar set of rules. Alone amongst all the characters on the show, Viker is always honest and tries to directly answer every question that he’s asked. For instance, when Howard asks him if he has an idea as to what is making the store’s light flicker on and off, Viker replies, “Yes,” and leaves it at that. Howard, after all, didn’t ask him what the idea is.

Viker is at the store because Cobb’s is having electrical problems. The lights are flickering on and off. (It takes Viker a few minutes to notice because, as he explains, his blinking his synchronized with the flickering.) The cash registers are humming. The refrigerator in the break room has broken down. The store’s freezer also breaks down, leading 800 pounds of melted ice cream and a bunch of TV dinner rotting in an alley. Can Viker figure out what the problem is?

No, of course, he can’t. Fortunately, Alf the Security Guard can. When Alf gives the broken refrigerator a good slap, the refrigerator comes back to life and the lights stop flickering. So, I guess it was all the refrigerator’s fault! To be honest, I don’t know much about how things are wired in most stores but …. well, let’s just go with it.

Alf …. poor Alf! Alf has a tough week in this episode. Edna sets Alf up on a date with her friend Helen (Nonnie Griffith). Helen likes that Alf is a plain-spoken, blue collar guy. Helen is less impressed when Alf gets drunk on their date and tries to crack open his escargot. She is especially not happy when he pours a pitcher of water on the flambé. After the disastrous date, Alf is convinced that he’ll never see Helen again. Fortunately, for Alf, Helen just happens to be in the store when he gets the refrigerator working and basically saves everyone’s job. Helen is impressed enough to give Alf a second chance. Awwwww!

(In other words, it’s a good thing Viker couldn’t figure out what the problem was!)

As far as this episode goes, I never really believed that Helen would have been attracted to Alf in the first place so that story kind of fell flat. And seriously, if you’re dating a guy because you like how direct and blue collar he is, what are you thinking serving him escargot and flambé? But I was happy to see Viker again and I appreciated that this was an episode where everyone in the store acted as eccentrically as possible. Check It Out! works best when it leans into absurdism.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.10 “Car Pool”

Posted on December 9, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, everybody wants something they’ll never give up.

Episode 1.10 “Car Pool”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on December 4th, 1985)

One rainy morning, Howard comes to work, just to discover that his assistant manager, Jack Christian, has parked his new BMW in Howard’s space. As Jack explains it, there wasn’t any other place to park in the small lot. The other employees all mention that all of their parking space were also taken by customers. Howard tells his employees that he’s going to call Mrs. Cobb and tell her that they need a bigger parking lot.

That conversation does not go well. As Howard explains afterwards, negotiations with Mrs. Cobb always involve “give and take.” In this case, Mrs. Cobb gave Howard his job back after initially firing him and she even agreed to let him keep his parking space. And then Mrs. Cobb took away everyone else’s parking space.

Needless to say, no one is happy about this. (Considering that we already had a whole episode about Marlene organizing a union at the store, it’s a little surprising they don’t all stage a walk out in protest.) However, Christian has a solution. He organizes a car pool. He agrees to pick everyone up in his van and drive them to work. He’ll only charge each of them $5 for the trip to the store and then $8 for the trip home. (“The drive home is mostly uphill,” Christian explains.) After everyone agrees, Christian then swindles Howard out of an additional $40 to cover expenses.

Unfortunately, the van has faulty brakes and Christian ends up slamming into the back of someone else’s car while driving everyone to work. As a result, everyone ends up in the hospital and Christian ends up getting sued by the woman who was driving the car that he hit. He agrees to settle for $15,000, which he raises by selling his BMW to Howard.

However, no sooner has new luxury car owner Howard started wearing aviator shades and a scarf then a cop (played by Don Lake) shows up and inform Christian that the old woman he hit was actually a con artist and has been arrested. The cop hands Christian back his money and Howard gives Christian back his BMW. Then the cop mentions that the old woman tried to flee from police and crashed into a BMW, which causes Christian to faint. The cop, however, is more concerned with talking to his bookie on the phone than with checking to see if Christian is still alive.

I haven’t even mentioned the scene where Edna explains that she doesn’t care about employee parking because she just parks illegally in the street. When Howard asks her about the parking tickets that she gets, Edna says that she just tears them in half and tosses them in a nearby garbage can. Way to go, Edna! Of course, when the cop first shows up, there’s an extended sequence of Howard claiming that Edna is actually named Doris and that the Edna that the cop is looking for has gone on vacation to Cuba.

There was a lot going on in this weird but funny episode. In this episode, the show acknowledges that, while dumb people can be funny, dumb people who think they’re smart are even funnier. Everyone in this episode thought they were more clever than they actually were. Howard thought he could talk Mrs. Cobb into expanding the parking lot. Christian thought he could swindle the other employees (and it turned out that actually he could, even if his own natural bad luck ultimately thwarted him). Con artist Ruby Wexler thought she could swindle Christian (and she nearly succeeded). In the end, only Edna actually got away with anything, with the cop explaining that Edna had accidentally been issued diplomatic plates and was therefore not subject to traffic laws. This episode definitely made me laugh more than any other episode of this show that I’ve watched so far. Check that out.

A Quick Review: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (dir by Peter Jackson)

Posted on January 5, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It seems kind of weird to do a quick review for a 144 minutes film that not only serves as the end of one epic trilogy but also as a prequel for yet another epic trilogy.

Well, so be it. I hate to admit it but I really don’t have that much to say about The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies beyond the fact that I saw it on the day after Christmas, I enjoyed it, and I thought Aidan Turner was really hot. It’s not a perfect film but then again, The Hobbit has never been a perfect trilogy. As opposed to the Lord of the Ring films, The Hobbit told a story that could have easily been told in two films. As a result, whenever you watch one of The Hobbit films, you’re aware of all of the filler that was included just to justify doing three films.

But so what? The Hobbit films are fun. Despite the cynical economic reasons behind turning The Hobbit into a trilogy, director Peter Jackson’s love for the material always came through. In the title role, Martin Freeman was always likable. Ian McKellan and Christopher Lee made for properly enigmatic wizards. Though apparently his inclusion caused some controversy among purists, it was nice to Orlando Bloom as Legolas. I also liked Evangeline Lilly’s elf character, even if everyone else seemed to dislike her and her love story with Aidan Turner. And then there was Benedict Cumberbatch providing a perfectly evil and self-satisfied voice for Smaug.

I have to admit that, with the exception of Aidan Turner, I was never a big fan of the dwarves. They were all so surly and bad-tempered and it didn’t take me too long to get tired of Richard Armitage showing up as Thorin and acting like a jerk. However, in the final part of the trilogy, Armitage’s surly performance started to make sense. As Thorin grew more and more paranoid, I saw that The Hobbit was actually using both the character and Armitage’s performance to make a much larger point. Power corrupts and most conflicts are ultimately all about money and property. It was a good message.

When the Battle of the Five Armies started, I was shocked to discover how little I remembered about the previous two Hobbit films. It took me a while to get caught up on who everyone was and why they were all fighting over that mountain. As opposed to the LoTR films, it’s not always easy to get emotionally invested in The Hobbit films. But, Jackson is a good director and he’s a good storyteller and, even though it took me a while to get caught up, I was still often enthralled with what I was watching on screen. The images were so stunning and the battle scenes were so spectacularly done that I could handle being occasionally confused.

Battle of the Five Armies is a fitting end for the Hobbit trilogy. It’s not a perfect film but it is exciting and fun and that’s really all that matters. At the end of it, the audience in the theater applauded, not just for the film but in recognition of everything that Peter Jackson has given us over the past 14 years.

It was a good way to spend the day after Christmas.

Trailer: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (Teaser)

Posted on July 28, 2014 by Arleigh

It hasn’t been received as well as Jackson’s own The Lord of The Rings trilogy, but The Hobbit did hit it’s stride with 2013’s The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. People still haven’t bought into Jackson’s decision to film the prequel trilogy in the 48-frame rate format which gives the films an ultra-definition look that anyone with an HDTV will recognize when watching with the anti-judder effect on.

Yet, this is The Hobbit and any flaws and ill-timed decisions made still hasn’t diminished it’s hold on those who have read the book and on those who were pulled into the cinematic world adapted by Jackson. We now see the final film in the Middle-Earth cinematic universe about to come down on audiences this 2014 Holiday. This weekend at the Comic-Con saw the first teaser trailer air at Hall H to the delight of those in attendance.

Warner Brothers has seen fit to release a shorter version of the teaser shown at Hall H, but it still shows that all the set-up and slog through the first film will have an epic pay-off with the final leg of this trilogy: The Battle of the Five Armies.