In this episode of The Twilight Zone (which was originally aired on May 4th, 1962), a neurotic ventriloquist named Jerry (Cliff Robertson) has a bizarre relationship with his dummy. Not only does Jerry seem to hate his inanimate partner but the dummy doesn’t seem to be too fond of Jerry either.
You’ll probably already figured out The Dummy‘s twist but it’s still extremely well-done, featuring a great performance from Cliff Robertson and expressionistic direction from Abner Biberman.
Evil vampire and art gallery owner Morgan Bane (Leonardo Milan) has lived for centuries and is suffering from a nasty case of ennui. He has grown so powerful that there simply are no more worthy opponents!
However, Morgan makes the mistake of kidnapping Heather O’Ryan (Erin Leigh). What Morgan doesn’t know is that Heather’s husband, John O’Ryan (Sean Gallimore, who also directed this film), is not just a talented animator. He’s also a super cool martial artist! John is going to get his wife back and he’s going to kick a lot of vampire ass to do it!
Helping Morgan is veteran vampire hunter, Ramone (Frank Suarez). Along with carrying a few dozen stakes, Ramone is also armed with a squirt gun full of holy water. Ramone’s religious faith is so strong that he can repel vampires just by showing them the cross that he’s tattooed on his palm. (That’s actually a pretty clever touch. Why don’t all vampire hunters do that?) John, meanwhile, is an atheist but he’s about to discover that you can’t defeat a vampire without a little faith…
Vampire Hunter was made for about $5,000 in the mid-90s but, for whatever reason, it didn’t get released until 2004. The low-budget is obvious in every frame and so is the fact that first time director Gallimore was learning how to direct as he went along. The film itself can be found in a few box sets (I found my copy in the Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares box set) and it’s obvious that the DVD was transferred over from a VHS tape.
But you know what?
I don’t care about the technical limitations. I don’t care about the low-budget. I don’t care about the less than professional acting (though I do think that Gallimore actually showed a lot of screen presence and gave a decent enough performance). I liked Vampire Hunter. It’s a fun movie, one that was made with a lot more sincerity than skill but, quite frankly, I think sincerity is underrated nowadays. Watching this movie, you get the feeling that it was a labor of love on the part of Gallimore and I’m glad that — even if it took nearly ten years — he eventually got his movie released!
And really, whatever issues you may have with the film, you cannot deny that the fight scenes are handled surprisingly well for a film with a $5,000 budget. Gallimore obviously knew what he was doing as far as the fights were concerned and, quite honestly, the fights are probably the main reason why somebody would watch a movie like Vampire Hunter in the first place.
Seriously, check out Sean Gallimore training for some vampire hunting!
Say what you will about Vampire Hunter, I hope that Sean Gallimore had fun making it and I’m happy that it was eventually released!
“A prowler has been seen around the campus and, well … he could be dangerous.”
— Miss Allison (Donna Davis) in The Prowler (1981)
Miss Allison was one of those largely ineffectual authority figures who always seems to turn up in slasher films from the early 80s. It was easy to be dismissive of her and personally, I can’t get over the fact that she would actually show up for the big graduation dance wearing pantyhose with sandals. But still, Miss Allison had a point here. There was a prowler wandering around campus and was he ever dangerous!
Of course, this all could have been avoided if they just hadn’t had a graduation dance to begin with. Eccentric old Maj. Chatham (Lawrence Tierney) understood that. He remembered what had happened at the town of Avalon Bay’s graduation dance of 1945, how Rosemary (Joy Glaccum) and her new date where both killed by a pitchfork-wielding maniac. Chatham had spent the last 35 years protesting any plans to hold another graduation dance.
However, in 1980, one feisty student named Pam (Vicky Dawson) finally convinced the town to allow them to hold a graduation dance. It probably helped the Pam’s boyfriend, Mark (Christopher Goutman) was a deputy. The morning of the dance, reports came in that someone had robbed a nearby store, murdered the store owner, and might be heading towards the town of Avalon Bay.
The sheriff (Farley Granger, who played Guy Haines in Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train) reacted to this news by announcing that he was going fishing and leaving Mark in charge. And, before the viewer could say, “Wait a minute — how does that make any sense?,” the sheriff was gone, the dance was on, and a maniac in a combat uniform was killing people with a bayonet and a pitchfork.
Yes, Miss Allison, the prowler was quite dangerous.
Having read that plot description, you might have a suspicion as to who the prowler actually was. But you’re probably thinking to yourself, “No, that is way too obvious a solution!” Well, no — it isn’t. You will not learn the Prowler’s identity until the final few minutes of the film but you will have guessed it early on.
The Prowler is not going to win any points for originality. It’s a slasher film from the early 80s, with everything that implies. For people who know their horror history, it’s a time capsule of that brief period when slashers were still making an effort to be American gialli, before the genre became dominated by loquacious monsters like Freddy Krueger and postmodern snark. As a character, the Prowler says next to nothing and really has no personality beyond a few questionable hobbies. But he certainly does kill a lot of people and seems to truly enjoy it.
And, if you hate these type of films, you’re going to hate The Prowler. But, that being said, The Prowler is actually one of the better examples of the early 80s slasher genre. Much as he would do with both Abduction and Friday the 13th — The Final Chapter, director Joseph Zito keeps the bloody action moving and, though they may be playing stock characters, he gets above average performances from his entire cast. As opposed to a lot of slasher films of the period, you actually feel bad when these people meet their untimely end.
And finally, the Prowler himself is just scary! The combination of the Prowler’s menacing appearance and Tom Savini’s relentless gore effects sets this film apart from other contemporary slashers, like Graduation Day. Even by the standards of slasher psychos, the Prowler is cruel and sadistic. It’s not just that he kills with a bayonet. It’s that he obviously get so much enjoyment from doing it. At its best, The Prowler is pure nightmare fuel.
Finally, on a personal note, I have to admit that it kind of freaked me out that one of the Prowler’s victims was named Lisa. As I’ve said before, slasher films tend to scare me precisely because I know that there’s no way I’d survive one. We always tell ourselves that people in slasher movies die because they do unbelievably stupid things but honestly, I think we all do a lot of stupid things every day. After all, we all behave under the assumption that we’re not on the verge of being attacked by a knife-wielding maniac. Hence, it’s easy to say, “Don’t go in that room!” but why shouldn’t someone go in that room? After all, they’re not watching the movie. They don’t know there’s a killer in that room. Lisa in The Prowler certainly did some stupid things and what freaked me out was that I could easily imagine myself doing the same stupid things.
(True, unlike the film’s Lisa, I wouldn’t go out by myself in the middle of night, strip down to my underwear, and then jump in a pool but I’m planning on conquering my fear of drowning someday soon and who knows what might then happen!)
Seriously, people — be kind to the Lisas in your life.
Today’s Horror on the Lens is a classic film that really needs no introduction! Released in 1922, the German silent film Nosferatu remains one of the greatest vampire films ever made. It’s a film that we share every October and I’m happy to do so again this year!
Enjoy!
In this episode of The Twilight Zone, bitter millionaire Paul (Joseph Wiseman, who also played the title character in Dr. No around the same time that this episode as shot) offers three people safety from a nuclear war on one condition. They must apologize to him for insults that are both real and imagined.
This episode originally aired on January 12th, 1962.
The new horror film, The Inhabitants, opens with a series of black-and-white clips of the various guests at the March Carriage Bed and Breakfast. The clips appear to have been recorded by a hidden camera and what’s disturbing is that none of these guests — as they undress, sleep, brush their teeth, make love, and do everything else that you might do while staying at a hotel for the night — are aware that they are being recorded and that they are being watched.
I have to admit that one reason why this opening got to me is that I’ve spent the night in places like the March Carriage Bed and Breakfast. In fact, I love staying in and exploring hotels whenever I’m traveling or on vacation. I think that anyone who has ever stayed at a hotel is aware of that feeling that you sometimes get, in the middle of the night, that someone might be watching you. I mean, think about it. You’re in a town where nobody knows you. You’re in a bed that’s not your own. You have no idea who slept in that bed before you and you don’t know who will sleep in that bed after you. You don’t know who is sleeping in the room next to you. And you don’t know what might or might not be happening in the rest of the hotel. At that moment, you are probably more vulnerable then you’ll ever be. Would it surprise me to learn that I had secretly been filmed while staying at a hotel? Actually, it would surprise me if I hadn’t.
But, the thing is, we force ourselves not to think about those possibilities. Because, honestly, what else can we do? Sleep in our car? Sleep on the street? Camp in the wilderness where we’ll be even more vulnerable? So, we tell ourselves that there’s nothing to worry about and we force ourselves to believe it and we hope that nothing will happen that will force us to realize how wrong we are.
I think that’s why haunted house films are so effective. We all know what it’s like to find ourselves in a new or strange place and we’ve all had that experience of wondering whether that sudden feeling of fear is legitimate or if it’s just a case of our imagination going wild. We watch a haunted house film knowing and fearing that moment when the characters (and, by extension, us) are going to be forced to realize that their fear was legitimate.
From the start, with that hidden camera footage of people at their most vulnerable, The Inhabitants is a haunted house film that works. When we first meet married couple Dan (Michael Reed) and Jessica (Elise Courture), we like them immediately. They’re young, attractive, and obviously in love. From the minute that we learn that they’re going to buy the March Carriage Bed and Breakfast, we find ourselves wanting to yell, “Don’t do it!” because we know that we are watching a haunted house film and these things never end well.
And really, it’s the likability of Dan and Jessica that make this film effective. We relate to them and we don’t want to see anything bad happen to them. The frequent complaint about characters in horror movies is that they’re always doing something stupid but neither Dan nor Jessica does anything that the viewer wouldn’t do in a similar situation. They’re just trying to move into their home and get the unpacking done. But, of course, what they don’t realize is that, way back in the 17th century, the March Carriage Bed and Breakfast was occupied by a witch. And, as quickly becomes apparent, Dan and Jessica are not alone in the house.
So, I’m not going to spoil the movie in this review by giving you too many plot details. The Inhabitants is an atmospheric throw-back to the haunted house films of the past. The fog-covered landscape, the haunted inn, and a creepy cellar all served to remind me of Lucio Fulci’s classic Beyond trilogy while the film’s dream-like atmosphere and its haunted heroine reminded me of the classic, Let’s Scare Jessica To Death. The Inhabitants, distinguished by the empathetic performances of Michael Reed and Elise Couture, is a worthy addition to the genre.
The Inhabitants will be released on VOD on October 13th!
So, it’s that time of year! 2015 is nearly over and soon, it will be time for me to make out my best-of and worst-of lists. That means that now is the time that I look over all the films that I have watched up to this point, I realize how many of those films I have yet to review ,and I think, “Oh my God, how did I get this far behind?”
So, here are 6 capsule reviews, designed to help me get caught up!
Ant-Man (dir by Peyton Reed)
Ant-Man has already been reviewed twice on this site, once by Leonard Wilson and once by Ryan The Trashfilm Guru. Leonard liked it. Ryan did not. As for me, my reaction was somewhere in between. I enjoyed Ant-Man, though not as much as I’ve enjoyed some of the previous Marvel films. Ant-Man was better than the second Thor film but nowhere close to being as good as Captain America: Winter Soldier.
What I did like about Ant-Man were the performances of Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, and Michael Pena. I even enjoyed Michael Douglas’s performance, which is saying something when you consider the fact that, as of late, Michael Douglas has really been making my skin crawl. I also thought that the film did a good job creating Ant-Man’s microscopic world, even if I’m still not totally sold on the character as a dynamic hero. I do wish that the film had a stronger villain. Corey Stoll is such a good actor and capable of doing so much and it was hard not to regret that he was stuck playing such a generic bad guy.
Cinderella (dir by Kenneth Branagh)
Oh, how I loved Cinderella! The film, a live-action retelling of the Cinderella story, was a gorgeous fairy tale and a wonderful reminder that a film doesn’t have to be dark and depressing to be good. (In many ways, Cinderella serves as an antidote to not only Into The Woods, but countless Tim Burton films as well.) Lily James is beautiful in the title role, Richard Madden is wonderfully charming as the prince, and Cate Blanchett and Helena Bonham Carter are perfectly cast as the stepmother and the fairy godmother.
Jurassic World (dir by Colin Trevorrow)
Jurassic World was previously reviewed by Ryan the Trashfilm Guru. I hate to admit it but I was, initially, one of those people who watched Jurassic World and got annoyed because the film was predictable and the script was a bit clunky. Traditionally (and, if you doubt me, just read my review of Avatar), it bothers me when a film devotes so much time special effects that it can’t seem to be bothered with character development and clever dialogue.
But then I thought about it somewhat and I thought to myself, you know what? This movie had Chris Pratt and it had some very convincing dinosaurs! And, especially when it comes to a summer blockbuster, that is sometimes all you need.
(Why I enjoyed Jurassic World while disliking Avatar largely comes down to the difference between Chris Pratt and Sam Worthington.)
Magic Mike XXL (dir by Gregory Jacobs)
Oddly enough, I had the roughly the same reaction to Magic Mike XXL that I had to Jurassic World. Yes, there are certain things — mostly concerning the film’s script — about which I could nitpick but what’s truly important is that Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, and most of the original cast of Magic Mike is back and they’re stripping again. Magic Mike XXL is a huge (heh heh) crowd pleaser, a film that delivers exactly what it promises.
Though Steven Soderbergh served as cinematographer for Magic Mike XXL, he did not return to serve as director and perhaps that’s why Magic Mike XXL feels like a far less pretentious film than the first Magic Mike. Out of the original cast, both Matthew McConaughey and Alex Pettyfer both declined to appear in the sequel. McConaughey is missed, Pettyfer less so.
The Man From UNCLE (dir by Guy Ritchie)
The Man From Uncle is one of the many stylish spy films to be released this year. Henry Cavill is an American spy, Armie Hammer is a Russian spy, and Hugh Grant is the Englishman who tells them both what to do. The Man From Uncle was entertaining. It took place in the 60s, so there was a lot of wonderful retro fashion and the whole movie moved at a nice, breezy pace. Ultimately — and I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t exactly fair — The Man From UNCLE suffered because it was released in the same year as Kingsman and Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. Man From UNCLE was entertaining but rather generic. At no point did it reach the lunatic high of Kingsman’s Free Bird sequence.
Terminator: Genisys (dir by Alan Taylor)
You can read Ryan’s review of Terminator: Genisys here. I have to admit that Terminator: Genisys confused the Hell out of me. Not being a huge fan of the entire Terminator franchise (though, yes, I do know what Skynet is and I have seen the first two films), I do have to admit that I sometimes felt lost while watching Genisys.
But you know what? If you just sit back and relax and try not to think about the film too much — if you just accept it as an action film and watch for the stunts and the explosions — Terminator: Genisys is not the disaster that many critics made it out to be. I mean, let’s just be honest here. Most critics would die before they gave a good review to any film featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Just check out all the negativity that greeted the brilliant zombie film, Maggie.) After all, Schwarzenegger is an outspoken, confident, cheerfully arrogant Republican and most film critics can only relate to the arrogant part. (And even then, they don’t ever seem to be very cheerful about it…) Terminator: Genisys is a well-made and perfectly adequate action film, one that works as long as you don’t spend too much time dwelling on it. It’s cinematic junk food and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My friend, the writer Tammy Dowden, claims that 1961’s The Beast of Yucca Flats is the worst movie ever made.
Well, technically, she may be right. The Beast of Yucca Flats is a thoroughly inept film that makes next to no sense and has massive continuity errors. It’s a film that also features the legendary Tor Johnson as a Russian scientist who gets mutated by radiation and becomes a monster, but not before taking off almost all of his clothes while walking through the desert. For that matter, it’s also a film about a family that comes together though adversity — namely, being shot at by the police after the family patriarch is somehow mistaken for Tor Johnson. And finally, it’s the story of how a dying monster can find comfort from a rabbit and that’s actually kind of a sweet message.
Here’s the thing — yes, The Beast of Yucca Flats is bad but you still owe it to yourself to watch it because you will literally never see anything else like it. Plus, maybe you’ll be able to figure out what the whole point of the opening scene is.
Because I’ve watched this film a few times and I still have no idea!
Enjoy!
In this episode of The Twilight Zone, Marsha White (played by Anne Francis) discovers some strange things happening in a department store. If you’re like me and you find mannequins to be super creepy, this episode is for you!
This episode originally aired on June 10th, 1960.
Who is the world’s worst director?
That’s a question that can really lead to lot of conflict. First off, it’s a deceptively simple question. The more you think about it, the more you realize how fragile concepts like good and bad truly are. Some of the greatest films ever made were critical flops. Some of the films that have been embraced by contemporary critics will definitely be less acclaimed by future viewers. There’s a lot to take into consideration when it comes to determining whether or not a filmmaker is good, mediocre, or one of the worst of all time. It’s something that requires a lot of careful thought and consideration and research.
Of course, if you don’t have time for all that, you can just say that the world’s worst director is Ulli Lommel and save yourself the trouble.
This German director has been making movies for longer than I’ve been alive. He got his start in the early 70s, as an actor who frequently collaborated with the great German filmmaker Rainer Werner Fassbinder. With Fassbinder as his producer, Lommel made a few surrealistic (and, it should be stated, critically acclaimed) films in Germany and then, in 1977, he moved to the U.S, and became friends with Andy Warhol. He also married Suzanna Love, an actress who was the heiress to the Standard Oil Fortune and who starred in a handful of Lommel’s early films.
Today, Lommel’s reputation for being the world’s worst director is largely the result of an endless series of low-budget, straight-to-DVD films that he’s made about various real-life serial killers. I’ve seen quite a few of these movies (and I reviewed Lommel’s Curse of the Zodiac three years ago) and they are truly bad. Normally, I can find something to love about almost every movie that I watch but Lommel’s serial killer films are beyond terrible. They’re so bad that they are almost impossible to review. I mean, how many different ways can you find to say that a movie sucks so much that it will make you question whether Eadweard Muybride should ever have filmed Sallie Gardner at a Gallop in the first place?
But here’s the thing with Ulli Lommel and this what makes it especially so frustrating to see him currently doing a thousand variations on Curse of the Zodiac. His first two horror films — both of which were filmed in the early 80s and starred Love — are not that bad. Don’t misunderstand me. They’re not particularly good but they still feature enough hints of genuine talent and inspiration that you have to wonder just what the Hell happened.
The first (and best known) of Lommel’s horror films was 1980’s The Boogeyman, an incredibly stupid film that still featured some good atmosphere and a few memorable deaths. Lommel followed The Boogeyman with 1983’s The Devonsville Terror.
The Devonsville Terror may not have the same cult status as The Boogeyman but it’s actually a far more interesting film. The film opens in the 17th Century. In the Massachusetts town of Devonsville, three women are executed for being witches. After the final witch is burned, her spirit appears in the sky and announces that the town is now cursed.
We then jump forward 300 years. Dr. Warley is researching the Devonsville curse. By researching, I mean that he continually invites citizens in Devonsville into his office and hypnotizes them, which leads to them having flashbacks to 1683 and those of us in the audience having to continually rewatch the first few minutes of the movie. The spirit of the witch curses Dr. Warley and soon, he’s having to pull maggots out of his arm. It doesn’t add up too much but Dr. Warley is played by Donald Pleasence so he’s at least entertaining.
Meanwhile, a new school teacher, Jenny (played by Suzanna Love), has moved into town and she’s teaching the kids to think for themselves and even goes as far as to suggest that God might be a woman! The town leaders are shocked and more than a few of them start to suspect that she might be a reincarnated witch…
At the same time, a loser named Walter (Paull Wilson) has just murdered his wife and soon finds himself having nightmares where Jenny allows him to drown in a swamp. “The legend’s true!” Walter shouts in his dream, “You are a witch!”
On top of that, two other liberated women have recently moved into town, which leads to a panic as the townfathers realize that their town — best known for executing three witches — is now home to three feminists!
Of course, it all leads to an attempt to duplicate the executions of 1683. Heads explode. Faces melt. Don’t mess with the witches, y’all. That’s all I’m saying.
The Devonsville Terror is a huge mess but, much like The Boogeyman, the film has a lot of atmosphere and features a good performance from Suzanna Love. (As well, just as The Boogeyman features John Carradine not doing much of anything, Devonsville Terror features Donald Pleasence not doing much of anything.) But the main thing I liked about The Devonsville Terror was its feminist subtext, which is not something you would typically expect to find in a horror film from the early 80s.
You have to ask yourself — how did the director of The Devonsville Terror ends up becoming the guy who directed Curse of the Zodiac and Mondo Americana? One huge clue is probably found in the fact that Suzanna Love is nowhere to be found in any of Lommel’s later films. According to the imdb, Lommel and Love divorced in 1987.
With Suzanna Love, Ulli Lommel was an occasionally interesting, if uneven, filmmaker.
Without her, he’s just the guy who directed Curse of the Zodiac.
