Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.3 “The Grass Is Greener/Three Stages of Love/Oldies But Goodies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

For this week’s cruise, Julie learns that she’s not the only person who can do her job!

Episode 3.3 “The Grass is Greener/Three Stages of Love/Oldies But Goodies”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on September 22nd, 1979)

This week, Julie is super excited when her friend, Tina Philips (Joan Hackett), boards the cruise with her young son, Brian (Adam Rich).  Tina and Julie went to cruise director school together, where they were both taught by none other than Captain Stubing.

(As I’ve mentioned before, there have been a lot of weird continuity issues with establishing just how long anyone had actually known Captain Stubing.  During the first season, everyone was unsure of what to make of Captain Stubing and none of them had any experience sailing with him.  But, in the second season, Stubing was suddenly celebrating his five year anniversary as the ship’s captain.  And, in this episode, Stubing is established as being Julie’s mentor.)

Tina had a crush on Stubing while she was a student and Stubing had a bit of a crush on her as well.  Though Tina could have had a great career as a cruise director, she decided to get married and settle down instead.  Now, with her marriage falling apart, Tina boards the boat and immediately starts giving Stubing and Julie advice.  Julie, meanwhile, takes care of Brian while Tina dances with the captain.  Tina lives Julie’s life and Julie lives the life she could have had if she had stayed in Alaska and gotten married.  It turns out that Julie’s a great substitute mom but Tina is a terrible substitute cruise director.  Her idea of throwing a sock hop is a huge bust and, to be honest, it does seem a bit childish for a luxury cruise.  In the end, Tina returns to being a single mom and Julie returns to being childless and career-driven.  Yay, I guess.

Meanwhile, Nora (Amanda Blake) boards the ship with her daughter, Daphne (Karen Morrow).  Daphne is determined to marry a millionaire but Nora is the one who finds love when she meets the wheelchair-bound Phillip (Barry Sullivan).  Unfortunately, Phillip’s stuffy valet, Perkins (Werner Klemperer), insists that Philip needs to stay in his cabin and watch his blood pressure.  Fear not, though.  Daphne finds a millionaire and the millionaire hires away Perkins so now Phillip and Nora are free to have fun.  Yay!

(Though, really, Phillip should keep an eye on his blood pressure….)

Finally, Mike (Eddie Mekka) and Robin (Lani O’Grady) seems like a perfect couple, except for the fact that Mike is convinced that all relationships go through three stages before ending and he has an annoying habit of saying stuff like, “We’ve just entered stage two!”  Robin gets tired of Mike and his cynicism and eventually, Mike decides to give love a try because …. well, I’m not sure why.  I think it was because the episode was nearly over.

This episode was pleasant but, ultimately, rather forgettable.  Nora and Phillip were a nice couple but Perkins was portrayed in an over-the=top villainous light, especially when one considers that he was just doing the job he was hired to do.  Mike and Robin seemed like they were still destined to break up, even as they left the ship in love.  I did enjoy the scenes in which Tina’s sock hop party turned out to be a bust, just because it seemed like a dumb idea from the minute she mentioned it.  That said, the main message of this episode seemed to be that having a family and career were two mutually exclusive things, which I certainly did not agree with.

Again, this was not necessarily a bad episode.  It was just kind of a bland one.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.11 “The Mermaid/The Victim”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

Smiles!

Episode 3.11 “The Mermaid/The Victim”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

This week, Fantasy Island suddenly becomes the most dangerous place on Earth.

Julie Bett (Joan Prather) comes to the island with a simple fantasy.  She wants a date — just one date — with a man that she met briefly four years ago.  Mr. Roarke asks Julie if perhaps she has overidealized her memories of Michael Duvall (James Darren).  Julie says no and that Michael is the ideal man.  Roarke reveals that Duvall lives on a nearby island where Roarke has no legal authority.  Julie says that fine, since the date will be on Fantasy Island.  Roarke reveals that Duvall is usually not allowed to step foot on Fantasy Island because of his shady reputation.  Julie replies that there’s nothing shady about Michael Duvall.  Roarke finally allows Duvall to come to Fantasy Island for the date.

Of course, within minutes of arriving, Duvall has drugged Julie’s drink and then whisked her back to his own island.  It turns out that Michael Duvall is a Jeffrey Epstein-style human trafficker and his estate doubles as a prison for the women that he had abducted.  His evil assistant, Madame Jeannot (Yvonne DeCarlo), announces that there is no way that Julie can escape and, to prove her point, she introduces Julie to Annie (Cathryn O’Neil), who tried to escape and was severely beaten as a result.

Julie tries to rally the other prisoners (including Dorothy Stratten, who would be murdered 8 months after this episode aired) to fight back against Duvall, Jeannot, and their servant.  If her rebellion fails, Julie knows that she’ll never be seen again….

Meanwhile, oceanographer Harold DeHaven (John Saxon) has come to Fantasy Island with his wife, Amanda (Mary Ann Mobley).  Harold and Amanda have a troubled marriage, largely because Harold is too obsessed with his work and his desire to make a major discovery of some sort.  No sooner has Harold started walking along the beach then he comes across a mermaid!  Princess Nyah (Michelle Phillips) is apparently a well-known figure on Fantasy Island and, at one point, Roarke even confronts Nyah about her history of trying to lure the guests to their deaths.  Can Amanda prevent her husband from drowning in his attempt to be with Princess Nyah?

(This episodes leaves us to wonder just what exactly Fantasy Island’s legal liability would be if someone died as a result of their fantasy.  Seriously, it seems like Mr. Roarke has really left himself vulnerable to a lawsuit.)

Anyway, Julie and the other kidnapped women manage to escape from Duvall’s estate, just to find Mr. Roarke and a bunch of policemen waiting for them.  Roarke explains that he knew what Duvall was doing but he needed proof before he could contact that authorities.  Julie provided the proof.  Essentially, Roarke is saying that he put Julie’s life at risk to take down Duvall but Julie and the other women seem to be amused by the whole thing.  Everyone smiles as Mr. Roarke says that he’ll take them back to Fantasy Island.  I guess PTSD doesn’t exist on the islands.

Meanwhile, Amanda’s efforts to keep Harold from swimming off with Nyah nearly leads to Amanda drowning.  Seeing his wife risk her life for him, Harold realizes that he really does love Amanda and both he and Amanda return to dry land.  Disappointed, Nyah swims off.

Yay!  Everyone lived!  As they all left the Island, no one seemed to be the least bit traumatized by nearly dying.  At the plane flies away, Roarke suggest that Nyah’s new target might be Tattoo.  “Be serious, boss,” Tattoo, “I can’t even swim.”  The thought of his assistant dying a terrible death from drowning cause Roarke to laugh out loud as the end credits roll.

There was a weird episode and compulsively watchable as a result.  Seriously, how do you not love John Saxon following Michelle Phillips into water?  That said, Fantasy Island seems like a very dangerous place.

Retro Television Review: Hang Time 6.7 “Life 101” and 6.8 “Secrets and Lies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Hammer returns!

Episode 6.7 “Life 101”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 4th, 2000)

Hammer returns during this episode but, before we discuss that, let’s get the dumb B-plot out of the way.  Coach K, is going out of town so he assigns Antonio to look after his dog, a chihuahua named Killer.  (What was the deal with both of the coaches always asking their dumb players to look after their pets, cars, and houses?)  Antonio and the boys lose Killer at the mall.  However, they then see a little girl named Susie adopting a chihuahua on television.  Assuming that the girl has adopted Killer, they bribe the girl with toys to get the dog.  When they give the dog to the Coach, he immeidately sees that it’s not Killer because it’s a girl and not a boy.

Uh-oh!

No worries, though.  It turns out that the woman who found Killer saw a flyer that the boys put up and she shows up at the gym with Killer.  She asks Coach K out on a date.  “Woooooo!” the audience shouts.  As I wrote earliier, it was all pretty dumb but at least the dog was cute.

Meanwhile, Hammer (Mark Famiglietti) returns to Indiana from North Carolina!  Mary Beth is so excited!  Hammer explains that he’s not sure he wants to attend Duke.  (I thought Hammer was attending Duke but apparently, he was just in some sort of Duke-affiliated prep school or something.)  Hammer says that Duke might not have a spot for him on the team so he decides to apply to UCLA with Mary Beth and Kristy.

Mary Beth and Kristy get into UCLA!  Yay!

Hammer does not.  Boooo!

Hammer pressures Mary Beth to turn down UCLA and go to the University of Indiana with him.  Hammer, what happened to you!?

Mary Beth agrees but then Hammer learns that Duke does want him to play basketball so he decides he’s going to go Duke anyway and that Mary Beth should come with him.  “You want me to move to North Carolina!?” a shocked Mary Beth says.  (Uhmm, it’s better than freaking Indiana.)  Mary Beth and Hammer break up and Mary Beth decides to go to UCLA afterall.

I guess it’s good that Mary Beth is finally going to graduate from high school but this episode still bothered me.  Bringing back Hammer was cool.  Having him come back with a totally different personality from the one he had when he was previously on the show was not cool.  That just felt like lazy writing.

Let’s move on.

Episode 6.8 “Secrets and Lies”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 11th, 2000)

It’s championship time again!

Actually, it was championship time last season.  Seasons 5 and 6 were filmed at the same time and were originally intended to be a part of one big, final season.  NBC decided to not only split the season in two but they also rearranged the order of the episodes, leading to all sorts of continuity confusion.  The tournament that we see the Tornadoes playing at the University of Indiana was originally meant to be a part of the championship story arc that was featured in season 5.  (That storyline, of course, ended with the previously undefeated Tornadoes losing in an upset and learning about humility.)  Instead of airing where it was originally meant to air, this tournament episode somewhat randomly pops up in the middle of season 6.

As for this episode, it’s a mix of the serious and the seriously stupid.  The seriously stupid part of the episode finds Eugene and Silk being led astray by two cheerleaders who steal their uniforms, lock them in a locker room, and try to keep them from playing in the big game.  It doesn’t work, of course.  Silk and Eugene end up tumbling out of an air conditioning duct and landing in the middle of the gym.  The important thing is that they get to play and no one asks why they were wandering around a duct while half-naked in the first place.

As for the serious storyline, it features Mary Beth meeting Brett, a handsome guy who is writing a story for his school’s newspaper.  He takes Mary Beth and the team out to a bar and, in a backroom, attempts to force himself on Mary Beth.  While Mary Beth gets away from him, Brett still threatens to reveal that the team was at a bar if she dares to say anything about what he tried to do.  However, when Mary Beth sees Brett talking to another girl and trying to lead her to a backroom, she realizes that she can’t be quiet.  Brett gets arrested but not before Coach K threatened to rip him from limb to limb.

This was a good episode, solely due to the Mary Beth storyline, which was well-acted and had a valuable message.  When Dick Butkus threatened Brett, you never had any doubt that he meant every word of it.  I’ve been a bit critical of Dick Butkus in these reviews but it’s hard to imagine Reggie Theus bringing the same emotional intensity to this episode that Butkus did.  One gets the feeling that Theus would have just made Mary Beth feel guilty for not speaking up immediately.  Dick Butkus, on the other hand, isn’t going to let anyone get away with hurting his students.

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Art of War and The Dead Zone!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 2000’s The Art of War!  Selected and hosted by Sweet Emmy Cat, this movie features an all-star cast and failed to make back its budget so you know it has to be good!

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching 1983’s The Dead Zone!  The film, which features a look at why New England is the worst region ever, is on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up The Art of War on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start The Dead Zone, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy. 

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 8/14/23 — 8/20/23


The heat continues.  It’s pretty miserable, to be honest.  I can’t wait for the fall and the winter to get here.

My focus continues to be on getting ready for our annual horrorthon here at TSL!

Here’s what I watched, read, and listened to this week.

Films I Watched:

  1. Abby (1974)
  2. April Rain (2014)
  3. Back the School (1986)
  4. Blackenstein (1974)
  5. Blood Thirst (1971)
  6. The Chill Factor (1993)
  7. Combat Shock (1986)
  8. Death Wish V (1994)
  9. Dial M For Murder (1954)
  10. Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976)
  11. Dragnet (1966)
  12. Five Desperate Women (1971)
  13. Gaslight (1944)
  14. The Giant Claw (1957)
  15. A Great American Tragedy (1972)
  16. I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)
  17. Kickboxer (1989)
  18. Kickboxer 2 (1991)
  19. Kickboxer 3 (1992)
  20. Night Must Fall (1937)
  21. The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1977)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. Big Brother 25
  2. The Challenge USA
  3. City Guys
  4. Claim to Fame
  5. Dr. Phil
  6. The Love Boat
  7. Night Flight
  8. Radio 1990
  9. Saved By The Bell
  10. Stars on Mars
  11. Superfan
  12. T and T
  13. Welcome Back Kotter

Books I Read:

  1. I Killed Stalin (1952) by Sterling Noel

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. ABC
  2. Adam Rickfors
  3. Adele
  4. Adi Ulmansky
  5. Annie Hardy
  6. Avril Lavigne
  7. Calvin Harris
  8. Charli XCX
  9. The Chemical Brothers
  10. The Cure
  11. Blue Swede
  12. Britney Spears
  13. David Bowie
  14. Dire Straits
  15. Eurythmics
  16. Gwen Stefani
  17. Howard Jones
  18. Jakalope
  19. Jake Bugg
  20. Kedr Livanskiy
  21. Marianne Faithfull
  22. Mick Jagger
  23. Olivia Rodrigo
  24. Rita Ora
  25. Sade
  26. Saint Motel
  27. Sting
  28. Supertramp
  29. Tears For Fears
  30. Thompson Twins
  31. U2
  32. Van Halen
  33. Wham

Live Tweets:

  1. April Rain
  2. Death Wish V
  3. I’m Gonna Git You Sucka
  4. The Town That Dreaded Sundown

Trailers:

  1. Maestro

News From Last Week:

  1. Actor Ron Cephas Jones Dies At 66
  2. Britney Spears Speaks Out After Divorce News: ‘I’m Not Here to Explain Why Because It’s Honestly Nobody’s Business’
  3. Box Office: ‘Blue Beetle’ Stumbles With $25 Million Debut, Ends ‘Barbie’s’ Four-Week Streak
  4. Elon Musk Says X (aka Twitter) Will No Longer Let You Block Other Users
  5. Actor, Senator candidate Hill Harper hosts town hall meeting in Flint

Links From Last Week:

  1. An Aerial Display Above Paris! Colorful Jets Over The Louvre And The Champs-Elysee!
  2. Tater’s Week in Review 8/18/23
  3. ♫♪ The cats come out at night ♫♪

Links From The Site:

  1. I reviewed Hang Time, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, City Guys, T. and T., Welcome Back Kotter, and A Great American Tragedy!
  2. I shared my week in television!
  3. I paid tribute to Nicolas Roeg!
  4. Erin shared Society Nurse, Famous Detective, Virgins No More, Like Wild, Trial By Fire, and Bye Bye Baby!
  5. Jeff shared music videos from Guns N’ Roses, Neil Young, Michael Penn, Steve Winwood, Ramones, and Guns N’ Roses again!

More From Us:

  1. At Pop Politics, Jeff answered Daily Prompts from the 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, and 20th!
  2. At her photography site, Erin shared Huffhines Park, Turtles at Huffhines Park, The Morning In Black-and-White, Buzzard, Gathering, White Cross Gray Sky, and Purple!
  3. At my music site, I shared songs from Adam Rickfors, Blue Swede, Adele, Charli XCX, Calvin Harris, Rita Ora, and Olivia Rodrigo!
  4. At Reality TV Chat Blog, I shared Week 2 Veto Meeting, Is There A Blindside Coming, Let’s Open Up The Diary Room For Week 2, About Tonight’s Vote, Week 3 Nominations, Week 3 Veto Comp, and Is the Blindside Back On?

Want to see what I did last week?  Click here!

Retro Television Reviews: A Great American Tragedy (dir by J. Lee Thompson)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1972’s A Great American Tragedy!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Brad Wilkes (George Kennedy) had a good career, working as an aerospace engineer.  He was able to buy a nice house.  With his wife, Gloria (Vera Miles), he was able to raise a good family.  He was even able to buy a sailboat, one that is the pride of the entire marina.  But then, one day, he’s told that the company is letting him go.

Returning to his home, Brad tells Gloria that he’s lost his job but that everything’s going to be okay because not only does he have a $10,000 pension but he’s sure he can find a new job.  “Of course, I might not be making $35,000 a year….” he says.

(Watching at home, I said, “Pfffft!  I make more than that!”  But, of course, Brad is talking about $35,000 in 1972 money, which would be the equivalent of a quarter of a million today.)

However, Brad soon discovers that getting a new job will not be as easy as he assumed.  It turns out that there are a lot of people out there looking for work and most of them are younger, cheaper, and better educated than Brad.  The bills start to pile up.  His former boss (Robert Mandan) informs Brad that his pension is going to be $7,000 less than he thought.  Brad forces himself to go down to the unemployment office so that he can collect $25 a week and then suffers the humiliation of being offered a loan by his well-meaning son-in-law (played by a youngish James Woods).  Gloria gets a job at the same clothing store where she used to shop and her lecherous boss (Kevin McCarthy) starts to hit on her.

For Brad, the final humiliation comes when he has to sell the boat.  A younger boat owner (Tony Dow, with a huge mustache) puts Brad in contact with a woman named Paula (Natalie Trundy).  Paula wants to buy the boat and, after they take it out on the water, Brad finds himself tempted to cheat on his wife.  It all gets to be too much for Brad and soon, he’s on a plane to Nevada where hopefully one good night at the craps table will be enough to pay his bills….

Watching this film, I found myself feeling very sorry for Brad while, at the same time, becoming very frustrated with him.  On the one hand, his company tossed him out after years of loyal service and then tried to screw him out of his pension.  On the other hand, Brad spent almost the entire movie in denial about how bad things actually were.  It’s one thing to be proud and it’s another to just be stubborn.  Knowing that he has next to no money, Brad still insists on throwing his annual 4th of July party and he even invites his former boss to come over and celebrate.  Brad simply cannot bring himself to admit that his old life is over but really, who can blame him?  He’s not the one who chose to be fired.

A Great American Tragedy was directed by J. Lee Thompson, who also did Cape Fear, The Guns of Navarone, the Planet of the Apes sequels, and several Charles Bronson films.  There are no fight scenes to be found in A Great American Tragedy but Thompson does get good performances from his cast and the film makes great use of George Kennedy’s likability.  The viewer remains sympathetic to Brad, even when he makes mistake after mistake.  A film about a formerly secure family suddenly discovering just how much the economy sucks, A Great American Tragedy remains just as a relevant today as when it was first made.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 1.22 “Father Vinnie”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the first season comes to an end with a surprisingly touching episode.

Episode 1.22 “Father Vinnie”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 26th, 1976)

At the apartment, Gabe asks Julie if he’s ever told her about his Uncle Jerry and Aunt June and how, on their 40th wedding anniversary, they took a second honeymoon.  Aunt June was feeling romantic and asked Jerry to bite her neck, just like he did when they were newlyweds.

“Wait a minute,” Jerry replied, “I’ll get my teeth.”

(Gabe comes from a very old family, I’ve noticed.)

At school, Gabe teaches his class about the Russian revolution.  Horshack asks where Kotter “learned all that stuff.”  Gabe replies that he saw Dr. Zhivago four times.  Horshack breaks out into wheezy laughter.  All the Sweathogs are amused but …. WHERE’S BARBARINO!?

Barbarino shows up, just as the bell for lunch is ringing.  Depressed, he barely acknowledges Gabe’s question as to where he’s been.  Instead, he sits down at the classroom window and stares at the rain falling outside.  Epstein tries to cheer him up by reading some his latest “excuse notes.”  They’re all in verse!

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve been home two days with the Spanish flu.”

Freddie reads note that Epstein wrote for him.  “Please excuse me for missing your lecture on mold but I was home sick with a bad head cold.”

Barbarino is not amused.  He explains that he’s just gotten back from the hospital, where his 87 year-old grandmother is dying.  “She’s got a bad case of being old,” Barbarino explains.

The Sweathogs discuss death.  Epstein doesn’t worry about it because he has a note for wherever he goes.  Horshack mentions that he’s against death.  Freddie, always the pragmatist, says that death is something that you have to accept.

Barbarino explains that his grandmother’s dream was always for him to become a priest and now that she’s dying, he has to do it!  The other Sweathogs scoff at the idea and Gabe tells him that not everyone is cut out to be a priest.  Despite not wanting to become a priest himself, Barbarino is stunned by their lack of faith and decides that he is going to become a priest just to show them.

A few days later, in the teacher’s lounge, Mr. Woodman tells Gabe that Barbarino just blessed Epstein’s gym locker and that he’s now walking around the school and telling people that he loves them.  Gabe, however, is depressed because Barbarino’s grandmother has died and now he’s thinking about all the family members that he’s lost and used for material for his stand-up routine.  Woodman mentions that Epstein’s mother died four times over the course of the previous school year.

Gabe asks Woodman if he ever thinks about death.  Woodman replies, “Mot people want to go quickly but not me.  I want to linger.  I want to be a burden to people for as long as possible.”

(As always, John Sylvester White brilliantly portrays Woodman’s mix of bitterness and what appears to be genuine mental instability.  As played by White, Woodman could announce that he had just spent the morning attacking muggers on the subway and it would be a laugh-out-loud funny line.)

Carrying a bible, a much changed Barbarino enters the teacher’s lounge.

Barbarino says that he forgives Gabe for the previous day’s pop quiz.  Gabe tells Barbarino that he doesn’t need to forgive him, he just needs to study.  When Barbarino replies that he no longer needs to study because the Lord is his shepherd, Gabe tells him that he’s taking the religion thing too far.

The next day, in the school hallway, Barbarino interrupts a Sweathog dice game and tells Horshack that he loves him.

“I’ve always been fond of you,” Horshack says.

Barbarino suggests that the Sweathogs should give their money to the poor.

“We are the poor!” Freddie replies.

A blonde named Bambi asks if Barbarino is going to meet her at their usual place “behind the billboard.”  Horshack replies that Barbarino is now a priest.  After an offended Bambi walks away, Barbarino has a meltdown in the school hallway, saying, “I can’t take it!”  Gabe steps out of his classroom and says that maybe he’s not cut out to be celibate.  The other Sweathogs start taunting Barbarino about all of his now ex-girlfriends.  Barbarino realizes that it will be okay for him not to become a priest but he worries about how he’s going to tell his mother.

Epstein writes an excuse note for Barbarino to give to his mother, though he asks Gabe to sign because Epstein has yet to figure out how to forge his signature.  The note reads,  “Dear Mrs. Barbarino, they were shocked when you had a son, because that meant you could not be a nun.  I hope you won’t mind this as a reason but your son Vinnie will not be a priest.  Signed, Epstein’s teacher.”

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Morris, who was so thrifty that he never gave any money to charity.

And with that, season one ends!  Wisely, Welcome Back, Kotter ended by focusing on Barbarino.  All of the actors playing the Sweathogs were talented and all of them did a good job in the episodes that focused on them but, from the start, John Travolta was clearly the star and Travolta does a pretty good job of capturing both Barbarino’s sweet-natured stupidity and his earnest sincerity in this episode.  It was hard not to be emotionally moved by his desire to make his grandmother’s dying wish come true, even though it wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life.  This was a rare sitcom episode that dealt with religion in an even-handed manner while still remaining funny and non-preachy.  All in all, this was not a bad way to end the first season.

(I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting much from Welcome Back, Kotter but I’ve certainly enjoyed watching and reviewing the first 22 episodes.)

Next week, season two begins!

Live Tweet Alert: Watch The Town That Dreaded Sundown with #ScarySocial


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1976’s The Town That Dreaded Sundown!  Who was Texarkana’s Phantom Killer!?  Join us to investigate the mystery!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime.  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Retro Television Reviews: T. and T. 1.3 “Settling the Score” and 1.4 “Stowaway”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. Turner confronts the man who framed him!

Episode 1.3 “Settling the Score”

(Dir by Allan Goldstein, originally aired on January 25th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us before the opening credits, “a young boxer is accused of throwing a fight.  While Amy tries help him clear his name, I get a rematch with the man who sent me to prison.”

The episode opens with T.S. Turner in a very polite Canadian bar, watching a boxing match.  He’s shocked when the favored boxer, “Dancin'” Joe (Louis Ferreira), starts to act groggy and is knocked out in the 2nd round.  The next day, at the courthouse, people are talking about how Joe obviously took a dive.  Amy, however, is busy keeping her latest clients out of jail.

“Hey, Amy,” T.S. asks, “what’s the score today?”

“Justice triumphed,” Amy says, “Suspended sentence.”

Woo hoo!

Amy then asks T.S. about Dancin’ Joe’s boxing lisence.  T.S. reveals that the Commission suspended Dancin’ Joe and now they’re after his friend Decker because Dancin’ Joe trained at Decker’s gym.

“They’re after his lisence, too?” Amy asks.

“No one gets away clean,” T.S. growls.

T.S. thinks that Dancin’ Joe was forced to take a dive by Targon (Steven Makaj), the same gangster who earlier framed T.S. for the beating death of his manager.  T.S. confronts Targon in his bar.  (All gangsters have a bar.)

“A little far from home, aren’t you, Turner?” Targon says.

“Yeah,” T.S. replies, “and traveling don’t improve my temper …. I know you got to Dancin’ Joe.  But this time, you’re going down!  Last night’s fix makes it a whole new ball game.”

(Really, the main pleasure of T. and T. is listening to Mr. T speak.)

Back at the gym, a bruised Dancin’ Joe shows up to tell Decker and T.S. that he didn’t throw the fight.  According to Dancin’ Joe, he suddenly started to feel woozy during the fight.  Maybe Amy can help him get his license back!

This leads to a scene of T.S. Turner, shadowboxing while wearing a pink jumpsuit, and having flashbacks to the time that Targon demanded that he take a dive.  “T.S. Turner ain’t going in the tank!” T.S. declared before knocking out his opponent.  Targon framed T.S. for murdering his trainer.  (Fortunately, Amy was there to somehow get a second trial and win T.S. an acquittal.)

Turner starts to investigate the Dancin’ Joe’s fight so Targon decides to stop T.S. by …. framing him for a crime he didn’t commit!  (Hey, it worked before.)  Targon’s goon beats up Dancin’ Joe’s cornerman and Targon’s bartender calls the police and claims that he witnessed T.S. doing it.  Learning that there is a new warrant out for his arrest, T.S. hits the mean streets of Canada in an attempt to clear his name.

Luckily, the cornerman survived his beating and he informs T.S. that Targon put some sort of drug on Dancin’ Joe’s mouthpiece.  T.S. gets the mouthpiece from Decker, holds it up to his nose, and announces, “What they used, it don’t smell.”  Amy then shows up to tell T.S. that he needs to turn himself in and that the reports from the lab prove that Dancin’ Joe was drugged.  T.S. flees from the gym so he can track down the bartender who claimed to see him beating up the cornerman.

Because there’s only five minutes left in the episode, Targon and his men suddenly show up at the gym and take Decker and Amy hostage.  Fortunately, T.S. decides to come back to the gym and he rather easily beats up all of Targon’s men and Targon himself!

“Stop, T.S.,” Amy says, “Leave Targon for the law.”

“Look at me!” T.S. shouts at Targon, “I want you to see what’s coming!”  T.S. then runs his finger across his throat, allowing Targon to know that he will be heading to one of Canada’s prisons.  Fortunately, for Targon, Canada has no death penalty.

With Targon captured, Dancin’ Joe gets to fight again and T.S. makes peace with Detective Jones (Ken James), the man who arrested him years ago and who has always doubted his innocence.

“I’m never going to change,” the Detective says.

“Neither am I,” T.S. growls.

Woo hoo!  You tell ’em, T.S!

Episode 1.4 “Stowaway”

(Dir by Allen Kroeker, originally aired on February 1st, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T says, “A runway kid has to grow up quickly when his friendship is tested and life depends on the outcome.”

“You know, when I was small,” T.S. says, “I used to think about running away also, but I didn’t realize my mother was doing the best she could with what she had.”  T.S. delivers these lines from a hospital bed, which is where he spends most of this episode.  While searching for a runaway named Fabian (Sean Roberge), T.S. got hit on the back of the head by a group of smugglers, temporarily taking him out of action.

Indeed, the majority of this episode is dominated not by T.S. Turner and Amy Taler but instead by Captain Grayson (played by the episode’s special guest star, Don Stroud).  Captain Grayson is the captain of a boat that transports goods to South America.  Fabian befriended Captain Grayson when he went to the docks to draw pictures.  When Fabian runs away from home because he wants to go to sea with Captain Grayson, he discovers that Grayson is smuggling guns.

“People need those guns,” Grayson explains.

“Guns hurt people!” Fabian yells.

Anyway, Grayson is a good-hearted smuggler but his boss is not.  Grayson is ordered to keep Fabian on the boat and to drop him off somewhere in South America.  However, Grayson feels very guilty about this and Don Stroud, who is probably best-remembered for playing the convict who Clint Eastwood tracked to New York in Coogan’s Bluff, does a really good job of portraying Grayson’s inner conflict.  Grayson finally decides to let Fabian go home.  At the same time, T.S. Turner sneaks out of his hospital bed and rescues Fabian from the other smugglers, none of whom are as good-hearted as Grayson.

“If you really want to make your mother proud of you,” T.S. tells Fabian, “stay in school, get a good education, learn to become an architect, and never run away again.”  T.S. also convinces Fabian to forgive Grayson for holding him prisoner.  “Little brother, that man cares for you.”

These were two good episodes of T. and T.  Yes, the plots were predictable but the appeal of this show is listening to Mr. T talk and sound like Mr. T.  And Mr. T does a lot of talking in these two episodes.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!


 

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix has got the 1988 comedy, I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

I’m Gonna Git You Sucka! is available on Prime!  See you there!