The new version of Salem’s Lot, which has finally been released on Max after sitting on the shelf for nearly three years, is not very good.

At the same time, it’s definitely not terrible.  There are a few effective scenes.  The finale, which is a bit different from what happens in the book, is enjoyably berserk.  The film made good use of Gordon Lightfoot’s Sundown and, as a history nerd, I appreciated the fact that the movie used the book’s original 70s setting as opposed to trying to update the whole thing.  When writer Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman) wants to investigate the history of the old Marsten House, he has to go to the library.  People looking up stuff on microfiche is always, from a cinematic point of view, more compelling than them pulling up Wikipedia.

Ultimately, the movie is just kind of forgettable.  It’s mediocre in the bland way that so many recent horror films have tended to be.  The movie’s style has far more in common with David Gordon Green’s unfortunate forays into horror than to anything done by Mike Flanagan.  While it may not have originally been meant for a streaming release, streaming is where it begins because it feels like something that would get dumped on Netflix without much fanfare.

It’s a shame because Salem’s Lot really is one of Stephen King’s better novels, written at a time when King was still embracing his pulpy side and without any of the self-important commentary that’s come to mar some of King’s more recent works.  The novel is essentially a small town soap opera, documenting the often sordid lives of the citizens of Jerusalem’s Lot.  King introduces a vampire to the mix and most of the town’s problems are solved by folks dying and then coming back from the dead.  Ben Mears is a typical King protagonist, a writer from Maine who is trying to deal with a childhood trauma and who discovers that ‘Salem’s Lot has a long and apparently cursed history.  In both the book and the movie, Ben teams up with a group of vampire hunters to battle Kurt Barlow (played here by Alexander Ward) and his human servant, Straker (Pilou Asbaek).

The book works because it takes the time to turn Salem’s Lot into a vivid community and, as such, it’s hard not to feel the loss as the town dies off as a result of Barlow’s vampiric invasion.  Clocking in at less than two hours, the movie really doesn’t have time to do that.  The movie’s version of the town just comes across as being another stereotypical New England town, full of flinty characters and mudrooms.  The community never comes to life and, as such, there’s not much emotional resonance as the community dies off.  (It’s not a coincidence that the most successful adaptation of Salem’s Lot was a miniseries.)  Add to that, the 2024 film features some truly unfortunate acting, which again makes it difficult to accept the town as a community with its own traditions and culture.

There are certain character types and themes that seem to appear in all of Stephen King’s novels and the subsequent adaptations.  At its worst, the new Salem’s Lot feels like it’s quickly going through a checklist of all of the expected Stephen King elements.  It’s like, “Main setting — check!  Writer protagonist — check!  Schoolyard bully — check!  Child in danger — check!”  The end result is a film that feels almost like a parody Stephen King, containing all of his familiar tropes without any of the literary flair that made the original book a classic of vampire literature.

The good thing is that the Tobe Hooper adaptation holds up well and it’s also available on Max.  Check it out this weekend.