Bonus Horror On The Lens: The Beast of Yucca Flats (dir by Coleman Francis)


Since today would have Tor Johnson’s birthday, it only seems appropriate to share a bonus Horror On The Lens.  This is the one film in which Tor Johnson starred, 1961’s The Beast Of Yucca Flats.

The Beast of Yucca Flats is a thoroughly inept film that makes next to no sense and has massive continuity errors.  It’s a film that also features Tor Johnson as a Russian scientist who gets mutated by radiation and becomes a monster, but not before taking off almost all of his clothes while walking through the desert.  For that matter, it’s also a film about a family that comes together though adversity — namely, being shot at by the police after the family patriarch is somehow mistaken for Tor Johnson.  And finally, it’s the story of how a dying monster can find comfort from a rabbit and that’s actually kind of a sweet message.

Here’s the thing — yes, The Beast of Yucca Flats is bad but you still owe it to yourself to watch it because you will literally never see anything else like it.  Plus, maybe you’ll be able to figure out what the whole point of the opening scene is.

Because I’ve watched this film a few times and I still have no idea!

Enjoy!

Horror On The Lens: The Beast of Yucca Flats (dir by Coleman Francis)


Beastyuccaflats

Since Tor Johnson’s birthday was just 9 days ago, it only seems appropriate that today’s Horror on the Lens should be one that he starred in, 1961’s The Best Of Yucca Flats.

My friend, the writer and chef Tammy Dowden, claims that this is the worst movie ever made.

Well, technically, she may be right.  The Beast of Yucca Flats is a thoroughly inept film that makes next to no sense and has massive continuity errors.  It’s a film that also features the legendary Tor Johnson as a Russian scientist who gets mutated by radiation and becomes a monster, but not before taking off almost all of his clothes while walking through the desert.  For that matter, it’s also a film about a family that comes together though adversity — namely, being shot at by the police after the family patriarch is somehow mistaken for Tor Johnson.  And finally, it’s the story of how a dying monster can find comfort from a rabbit and that’s actually kind of a sweet message.

Here’s the thing — yes, The Beast of Yucca Flats is bad but you still owe it to yourself to watch it because you will literally never see anything else like it.  Plus, maybe you’ll be able to figure out what the whole point of the opening scene is.

Because I’ve watched this film a few times and I still have no idea!

Enjoy!

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Sinister Urge (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


1960’s The Sinister Urge opens with a shot of a blonde woman running down a highway while clad only her underwear.

As I watched this scene unfold, I was reminded of a chapter in Hollywood Rat Race, a non-fiction book about the sordidness of the film industry that was written by Edward D. Wood, Jr.  The chapter takes the form of a letter to aspiring young actresses who come to Hollywood, convinced that they’ll become stars.  In the chapter, Wood asks what the innocent young ingenue will do if a director tries to force her to film a scene in just her underwear.  Will you give in, Wood asks, or will you stick true to your values?  Wood seems to suggest that the actress should say no, no matter how much pressure the director puts on her.  Of course, Wood himself was a director, as well as a writer.  In fact, he directed The Sinister Urge.

The Sinister Urge is about the dark side of the film industry.  Police Lt. Matt Carson (Kenne Duncan) and Sgt. Randy Stone (Duke Moore) are investigating a series of murders.  The victims have all been women and they’ve all been killed in the same park.  Carson and Stone suspect that the murders might be connected.  Gee, guys, ya think so?

The murders are being committed by Dirk Williams (Dino Fantini), a knife-wielding teenager who works for the local pornographic filmmakers, Johnny (Carl Anthony) and Gloria (Jean Fontaine).  Dirk has become addicted to viewing pornography and it’s driven him crazy.  Johnny, who laments that he was once a serious filmmaker before he found himself reduced to directing and distributing “smut” to make money, is full of guilt and self-loathing.  Gloria doesn’t care about anything other than making money through selling smutty pictures and movies.  She doesn’t care that she’s helping to produce a product that is inspiring the sinister urge that drives Dirk to kill.

Can Dirk be stopped before he attacks innocent Mary Smith (Jeanne Willardson), who has fallen into the clutches of Gloria’s smut syndicate?  (That’s a great band name, by the way.)  And how will Dirk react when he learns that both Johnny and Gloria are thinking about sacrificing him for the greater good of their evil organization?

The Sinister Urge is an over-the-top melodrama that is clearly an Ed Wood production.  (Posters for Plan 9 From Outer Space and Bride of the Monster appear in Johnny’s office.)  Some of the actors deliver their lines stiffly.  Some of them delvier their lines with just a little bit too much emotion.  The hard-boiled dialogue is full of cliches.  The action sometimes comes to a complete stop so that the cops can discuss the threat of adult films.  The film may be sordid but it’s all presented with such an earnest DIY style that it becomes rather fascinating to watch.  At one point, Wood spliced in footage from a totally different film because why not?  Wood had the footage.  The Sinister Urge was running short.  Why not pad out the length with something totally unrelated?  That never surrender spirit is why Ed Wood remains a beloved figure 100 years after he was born in Poughkeepsie.

Sadly enough, this was Wood’s final “mainstream” film.  After this film, he could only find work writing adult novels and writing and directing the same type of movies that are criticized in The Sinister Urge.  (One has to wonder if The Sinister Urge was Wood’s attempt to satirize the moral panic of the time.)  Sadly, Wood sank into alcoholism and died 17 years after this film was released.  He was 54 years old.  His films, however, live on.

Icarus File No. 15: Glen or Glenda (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


Today is the 100th birthday of Edward D. Wood, Jr., the director who is often referred to as being “the worst director of all time.”  Personally, I’ve never really agreed with that title.  Ed Wood had a long career in Hollywood and yes, he may have worked exclusively in B-movies and yes, he eventually turned to softcore and then hardcore porn to pay the bills and yes, his life ended under rather tragic circumstances.  But, unlike most truly bad directors, his films are still being watched today and, again unlike most bad directors, his style is immediately recognizable.  You don’t need to see his name in the credits to know when a film was directed by Ed Wood.  You just have to keep an eye out for stock footage, a few familiar actors, and a lot of angora.

If anything, Ed Wood was a director whose ambitions far outweighed the money that he could usually raise for his films.  On the one hand, Plan 9 From Outer Space was a film where the strings holding the flying saucers were clearly visible and where a shower curtain was used to represent the door into an airplane’s cockpit.  On the other hand, it was also a very sincere plea for world peace and a lament that humans would rather blow themselves up with Solarnite than work out their differences.

Or you take a film like 1953‘s Glen or Glenda.  Ed Wood, who identified as a heterosexual and who was considered, by his friends, to be quite a womanizer (and it should be noted that young Ed Wood was strikingly handsome, though he was subsequently very badly aged by alcoholism and homelessness), also preferred to wear clothing designed for women and was open about it at a time when American culture was even more conformist-minded than usual.  In Glen or Glenda, Wood plays the autobiographical role of Glen, who struggles to tell his fiancée (played by Wood’s real-life girlfriend, Delores Fuller) that he dreams of being able to wear her angora sweater.  Glen’s story is told by a psychiatrist (Timothy Farrell) who is talking to a cop (veteran Hollywood character actor Lyle Talbot) who is investigating the death of a transvestite.  Among other things, Glen or Glenda is known for its bad acting, stiffly delivered dialogue, and its occasional digressions about why men go bald while women do not.  (It’s the tight-fitting hats, which cut-off blood flow to the head and not only cause men to lose their hair but also develop the Solarnite bomb.)  But, at the same time, it’s a film in which Wood attempts to handle, with sensitivity and empathy, a subject that most films in the 50s would have either ridiculed or portrayed as being a threat to the American way of life.  All of Wood’s films are sympathetic to those who are considered to be outsiders by conventional society.  This is especially true of Glen or Glenda.

Of course, Glen or Glenda is also known for Bela Lugosi randomly appearing in a laboratory and shouting things like, “Pull ze string!  Pull ze string!”  As far as I can tell, Lugosi is supposed to be playing the creator, who is not portrayed as being a stereotypical God but instead as being a mad scientist who rants and raves in his library and his laboratory.  And while it’s obvious that Bela was probably added to the film at the last minute and, more or less, allowed to do whatever the Hell he wanted, his presence adds a wonderfully bizarre touch to film’s dry style.  (I would compare him to the mysterious burned man who appears at the start of David Lynch’s Eraserhead.)  Whenever the film starts to get a bit too much like an educational film, Lugosi pops up and starts to literally shout at the audiences, frantically issuing a bunch of commands and nursery school rhymes that don’t really made any sense.  It reminds one of H.P. Lovecraft’s insistence that the universe was created by a blind idiot God who had no idea that he was actually creating anything.  The presence of Lugosi and a lengthy and increasingly surreal dream sequence in which Glen imagines himself being tormented by both his fiancée and the devil all suggest that, under different circumstances, Ed Wood could have been the American Buñuel.

Sadly, it was not to be.  Ed Wood died in alcoholic poverty and was reportedly pretty miserable during the final years of his life.  There was nothing pleasant about the end of Wood’s life.  But, on his birthday, I think the least we can do is remove the title of “worst director” from his legacy.  He was nothing of the sort.

Previous Icarus Files:

  1. Cloud Atlas
  2. Maximum Overdrive
  3. Glass
  4. Captive State
  5. Mother!
  6. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
  7. Last Days
  8. Plan 9 From Outer Space
  9. The Last Movie
  10. 88
  11. The Bonfire of the Vanities
  12. Birdemic
  13. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection 
  14. Last Exit To Brooklyn

Horror on the Lens: Night of the Ghouls (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


GhoulsdvdToday we celebrate Ed Wood’s 100th birthday with his sequel to Bride of the Monsters.  In Night of the Ghouls, con man Dr. Alcula (Kenne Duncan) moves into Bela Lugosi’s old mansion and pretends to talk to the dead.  What Alcula doesn’t realize is that the house is actually haunted (by Tor Johnson’s Lobo, among others) and real ghosts don’t appreciate pretend ghosts.

What can you say about a film like of Night of the Ghouls?  It’s an Ed Wood film, with all that suggests.  However, how can you resist a film that starts with Criswell sitting up in his coffin and providing commentary?

The role of Dr. Alcula was originally written for Bela Lugosi.  After Lugosi’s death, veteran actor and longtime Wood friend Kenne Duncan got the role instead.  Also of note, Wood appears twice in this film.  Not only does his picture appear on a wanted poster in the police station but Wood also plays one of the ghouls.

Horror on the Lens: Plan 9 From Outer Space (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


Viewing Plan 9 From Outer Space during October is a bit of a tradition around these parts and here at the Shattered Lens, we’re all about tradition.  And since the 100th anniversary of the birth of Ed Wood, Jr. is just a five days away, it just seems appropriate to watch his best-known film.

Speaking of tradition, this 1959 sci-fi/horror flick is traditionally cited as the worst film ever made but I don’t quite agree.  For one thing, the film is way too low-budget to be fairly judged against other big budget fiascoes.  If I have to watch a bad movie, I’ll always go for the low budget, independent feature as opposed to the big studio production.  To attack Ed Wood for making a bad film is to let every other bad filmmaker off the hook.  Ed Wood had his problems but he also had a lot of ambition and a lot of determination and, eventually, a lot of addictions.  One thing that is often forgotten by those who mock Ed Wood is that he drank himself to death and died living in squalor.  The least we can do is cut the tragic figure some slack.

Plan 9 From Outer Space is a ludicrous film but it’s also a surprisingly ambitious one and it’s got an anti-war, anti-military message so all of you folks who have hopped down the progressive rabbit hole over the past few years should have a new appreciation for this film.  I mean, do you want the government to blow up a Solarnite bomb?  DO YOU!?

Also, Gregory Walcott actually did a pretty good job in the lead role.  He was one of the few members of the cast to have a mainstream film career after Plan 9.

Finally, Plan 9 is a tribute to one man’s determination to bring his vision to life.  Ed Wood tried and refused to surrender and made a film with a message that he believed in and, for that, he deserves to be remembered.

Now, sit back, and enjoy a little Halloween tradition.  Take it away, Criswell!

Can you prove it didn’t happen?

WELL, CAN YOU!?

Horror Film Review: The Beast of Yucca Flats (dir by Coleman Francis)


Tick …. tick …. tick …. tick

The clock is ticking throughout the 1961 film, The Beast of Yucca Flats.  There’s only so much time left for someone who is trying to escape from a repressive, communist regime.  There’s only so much time that one can spend wandering through the desert before he starts to succumb to the heat and has to remove almost all of his clothes.  There’s only so long that the police can search before they get trigger happy and go after the wrong guy.

Tick …. tick …. tick …. tick

The Beast of Yucca Flats opens with a woman stepping out of the shower and getting attacked and strangled by someone hiding in her house.  Who attacked her and why?  How does it relate to the rest of what we see in this film?  Was this a flashback or a flashforward?  I’ve watched The Beast of Yucca Flats a few times and I don’t know.  Perhaps it’s just a sign of the randomness of fate.  Who knows how to control the whims of the universe?  Or maybe director Coleman Francis was just looking for an excuse to bring some nudity into the film.  As enigmatic a figure as Coleman Francis may have been, he undoubtedly understood that importance of selling tickets.

Tick …. tick …. tick …. tick

Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson is perhaps best known for his work with Edward D. Wood, Jr.  He was Lobo in Bride of the Monster.  He was the police detective who was raised from the dead in Plan 9 From Outer Space.  By most accounts, Tor was a nice guy with a good sense of humor but he was also a hulking and intimidating physical presence and he had a difficult time delivering dialogue.  However, Ed Wood was not the only director for which Tor Johnson worked.  He also worked with Coleman Francis, playing Joseph Javorsky in The Beast of Yucca Flats.

Tick …. tick …. tick …. tick

Joseph Javorsky is a Russian scientist who has defected to America and who is carrying a briefcase full of not just nuclear secrets but also evidence that the Russians have already landed on the Moon.  Russian agents follow Javorsky out to Nevada and assassinate his American contacts and his bodyguard.  Javorsky wanders into the desert and, due to the heat, he has to remove his clothing to survive.  This film allows you to see more of Tor Johnson that you’ve probably ever wanted to see.  Unfortunately, Javorsky wanders into an American nuclear test and is mutated into a monster who is motivated by rage.

Tick …. tick …. tick …. tick

It’s hard not to feel sorry for Javorsky, who seemed to have the best motivations when it came to defecting to America.  He’s turned into a monster and finds himself being pursued through the desert by the police and a father who worries that Javorsky has kidnapped his children.  Tor Johnson is thoroughly miscast as a nuclear scientist but if you can overlook the fact that he’s Tor Johnson wandering around the desert, he actually is a sympathetic figure.  His niceness comes through, even after he starts to turn into the beast.

Tick …. tick …. tick …. tick

The Beast of Yucca Flats is not a film that makes any sort of sense, not in the usual way.  It works if one views it as being a filmed dream but let’s not give director Coleman Francis too much credit.  While the dubbed dialogue and the narration and the odd performances all create a surreal atmosphere, there’s nothing to indicate that any of that was deliberate on Francis’s part.  If anything, one gets the feeling that Coleman Francis mostly made this movie so he could fly his airplane over the desert.  The Beast of Yucca Flats may not be good but that final scene of poor old Tor reaching out to the rabbit still brings tears to my mismatched eyes.

Horrific Insomnia File #62: Rollergator (dir by Donald G. Jackson)


What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or streaming? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

Last night, if you were having trouble getting to sleep, you could have logged onto Tubi and watched the 1996 film, Rollergator!  Of course, you would have had to watch the Rifftraxx version but, trust me, that would have been for the best.  There are some films that demand a certain amount of snarkiness in order to be survived and that’s certainly the case with Rollergator.

P.J. (Sandra Shuker) is a teenage girl who has just moved to Los Angeles.  There’s not much to do so P.J. spends her time either hanging out at a local carnival or relaxing on the beach.  It’s while she’s on the beach that she hears a voice calling out to her from a nearby cave.  Of course, she enters the cave to see who is calling for her because, when you’re otherwise alone and only wearing a bikini, it would only make sense to wander into a strange and dangerous location just because a totally unfamiliar voice asks you to.

Anyway, the voice belongs to a purple alligator who is kind of obnoxious.  The alligator can talk.  He says that he’s just escaped from the carnival and now Chico Dennis (Joe Estevez) has sent out a mysterious ninja (Lisa Kaake) to bring him back.  The alligator just wants to be reunited with his former owner, The Swamp Farmer (played by Conrad Brooks, who was a member of the Ed Wood stock company back in the 50s and the 60s).  After giving the alligator a hard time about always being rude and sarcastic, PJ tosses him in her backpack and takes him to …. THE CARNIVAL!  The alligator has a great time at the carnival until he and PJ run into Chico and the alligator realizes that they’re at the same carnival from which he previously escaped!  How many carnivals are in Los Angeles?

Anyway, the majority of the movie is PJ rollerblading around Los Angeles with a talking alligator puppet in her backpack.  The Dark Ninja pursues them on a skateboard but fortunately, a karate instructor (Bobbie Blackford) and a runaway named Slingshot (Jenette Lynne Hawkins) decide to help out PJ and the alligator.  Occasionally, the alligator puppet raps but he’s not very good at it.  Still, everyone loves the talking alligator.  Oddly, no one ever questions the fact that the alligator can talk.  Then again, no one manages to deliver their lines with the least bit of emotion, suggesting that everyone in Los Angeles is fairly blasé when it comes to talking alligators and skateboarding ninjas.

Rollergator is perhaps the only movie ever made about a rapping alligator and, watching it, it was kind of easy to see why there haven’t been any other movies featuring rapping alligators.  This is one of those films that features an alligator puppet for the kids and a lead actress who spends the entire movie in either a bikini or a sports bra for the adult males watching the movie with the kids but what about the women — the underpaid babysitters and the extremely helpful aunts and the exhausted mothers — who would have, if the film had been successful, been forced to watch Rollergator over the years?  The only thing we get is Joe Estevez, bulging his eyes and looking like Martin Sheen on meth.  It doesn’t seem quite fair!

Anyway, did I mention that you could watch this if you were having trouble getting to sleep?  Well, you definitely can but be warned, you may have Rollergator-inspired dreams as a result.  Those are the risks you take.

Previous Insomnia Files:

  1. Story of Mankind
  2. Stag
  3. Love Is A Gun
  4. Nina Takes A Lover
  5. Black Ice
  6. Frogs For Snakes
  7. Fair Game
  8. From The Hip
  9. Born Killers
  10. Eye For An Eye
  11. Summer Catch
  12. Beyond the Law
  13. Spring Broke
  14. Promise
  15. George Wallace
  16. Kill The Messenger
  17. The Suburbans
  18. Only The Strong
  19. Great Expectations
  20. Casual Sex?
  21. Truth
  22. Insomina
  23. Death Do Us Part
  24. A Star is Born
  25. The Winning Season
  26. Rabbit Run
  27. Remember My Name
  28. The Arrangement
  29. Day of the Animals
  30. Still of The Night
  31. Arsenal
  32. Smooth Talk
  33. The Comedian
  34. The Minus Man
  35. Donnie Brasco
  36. Punchline
  37. Evita
  38. Six: The Mark Unleashed
  39. Disclosure
  40. The Spanish Prisoner
  41. Elektra
  42. Revenge
  43. Legend
  44. Cat Run
  45. The Pyramid
  46. Enter the Ninja
  47. Downhill
  48. Malice
  49. Mystery Date
  50. Zola
  51. Ira & Abby
  52. The Next Karate Kid
  53. A Nightmare on Drug Street
  54. Jud
  55. FTA
  56. Exterminators of the Year 3000
  57. Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster
  58. The Haunting of Helen Walker
  59. True Spirit
  60. Project Kill
  61. Replica

Horror On The Lens: The Beast of Yucca Flats (dir by Coleman Francis)


Beastyuccaflats

Since today is Tor Johnson’s birthday, it only seems appropriate that today’s Horror on the Lens should be one that he starred in, 1961’s The Best Of Yucca Flats.

My friend, the writer and chef Tammy Dowden, claims that this is the worst movie ever made.

Well, technically, she may be right.  The Beast of Yucca Flats is a thoroughly inept film that makes next to no sense and has massive continuity errors.  It’s a film that also features the legendary Tor Johnson as a Russian scientist who gets mutated by radiation and becomes a monster, but not before taking off almost all of his clothes while walking through the desert.  For that matter, it’s also a film about a family that comes together though adversity — namely, being shot at by the police after the family patriarch is somehow mistaken for Tor Johnson.  And finally, it’s the story of how a dying monster can find comfort from a rabbit and that’s actually kind of a sweet message.

Here’s the thing — yes, The Beast of Yucca Flats is bad but you still owe it to yourself to watch it because you will literally never see anything else like it.  Plus, maybe you’ll be able to figure out what the whole point of the opening scene is.

Because I’ve watched this film a few times and I still have no idea!

Enjoy!

Last of the WOOD-en Soldiers: RIP Conrad Brooks


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

It was a fateful day in 1948 when 17-year-old Conrad Brooks, trying to break into movies, met a 24-year-old would-be filmmaker named Edward D. Wood, Jr. at a coffee and donut shop. The two men hit it off, both dreaming of Hollywood success, and worked together on an unreleased short “Range Revenge”, beginning a lasting collaboration and friendship. Conrad Brooks, who died today at age 86, will never be remembered as an actor the stature of Olivier or Brando, but his participation in the films of no-budget auteur Ed Wood will always hold a special place in the hearts of lovers of uniquely strange (some would say bad) cinema.

Young Conrad Brooks with horror icon Bela Lugosi

Brooks played several parts in Wood’s first film, 1953’s gender-bending GLEN OR GLENDA, about a man who loved to dress in women’s clothing. The director managed to get veteran horror icon Bela Lugosi

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