Horror Film Review: The Haunted Palace (dir by Roger Corman)


In the 18th century, the inhabitants of Arkham, Massachusetts yank Joseph Curwen (Vincent Price) out of his mansion and tie him to a tree.  They accuse Curwen of being a warlock who is in league with the devil and who has been bringing young women to his “palace,” and putting them in a trance.  They burn Curwen alive but, before the flames are lit, they also give Curwen a chance to speak and curse both them and their descendants.

You really do have to wonder about the logic behind witch (and warlock) burnings.  They seem counter-productive because they always give the accused just enough time to cast one final curse before being burned to a crisp.  Indeed, you have to wonder why witches and warlock were allowed any final words to begin with.  I mean, at some point, you would think everyone would notice that the final words were always a curse.

Anyway. 110 years later, Joseph Curwen’s descendant, Charles Dexter Ward (Vincent Price, again) rides into town with his wife, Anne (Debra Paget).  He is stunned to see that Arkham has apparently fallen on hard times, with many of the town’s people being horribly disfigured.  It’s explain to him that the disfigurements and the poverty are all a result of his ancestor’s curse.  That’s going to make things a bit awkward, considering that Charles Dexter Ward has not only inherited the Palace but he’s also inherited a copy of Necronomicon and a legacy of messing with Cthulhu.  The townspeople don’t want Ward around but he and Anne decide to spend the night in the Place regardless.

Of course, it doesn’t take long for Curwen’s spirit to possess Charles.  Soon, Charles is trying to resurrect Curwen’s mistress, Hester (Cathie Merchant) and pursuing Curwen’s goals of breeding a race of super humans by forcing the women of the town to mate with the fearsome Yog-Sothoth.  Charles also seeks vengeance on the descendants of those who burned Curwen at the stake, as if all of the poverty and the deformities aren’t punishment enough.  Again, this is why you don’t give warlocks and witches a chance to get out one last curse before being executed.

Though The Haunted Palace is usually considered to be a part of Roger Corman’s Edgar Allan Poe cycle, the story itself is actually based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.  (In Lovecraft’s novella, Ward seeks out his evil ancestor whereas, in the film, Ward is more or less an innocent victim.)  The film’s title comes from a Poe poem, which is recited at both the beginning and the end of the film.  But the film itself, with its references to the Cthulhu mythos and its hideous New England setting, is definitely a work of Lovecraftian horror.

Fortunately, it’s an effective work of Lovecraftian horror, one that captures the feeling of people unwisely trying to control a force of evil that they cannot begin to comprehend.  Roger Corman keeps the action moving quickly and creates a gothic atmosphere of impending doom.  Vincent Price, toning down his usual theatrics, is chillingly evil as Curwen and sympathetic as Charles.  The film’s strongest performance, however, comes from Debra Paget, who desperately tries to free her husband from Curwen’s control.  Any woman who has suddenly felt as if she can no longer recognize the man who she once loved will be able to relate to Paget’s performance.

The Haunted Palace is a strong entry in the films of Roger Corman and Vincent Price and one of the better adaptations of the work of H.P. Lovecraft.

Horror on the Lens: The Creeping Terror (dir by Vic Savage)


Watching The Creeping Terror is an October tradition here at the Shattered Lens.  How could anyone resist a film about a killer carpet, especially one that features a random dance party?  This film was directed by an enigmatic figure named Vic Savage.  No one is really sure who he actually was.  No one is sure what happened to him after The Creeping Terror was finally released.  But what we do know is that he made a film unlike any other.

Read my review here.

Read Patrick’s review here.

And enjoy the film!

Horror Song of the Day: Buio Omega by Goblin


Today’s horror song of the day comes from the 1979 film, Beyond The Darkness.

This film’s soundtrack, courtesy of Goblin, was so acclaimed that it later turned up in several other Italian horror film, usually without anyone bothering to ask Goblin ahead of time.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.14 “Ascension”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week …. it’s Templar time!

Episode 2.14 “Ascension”

(Dir by Jon Cassar, originally aired on February 23rd, 1997)

Mitch and Ryan have been kidnapped!  They find themselves trapped in an underground prison, where their guards all wear suits and a disembodied voice demands answers without first supplying a question.  A beautiful and nameless woman (Alexandra Bokyun Chun) gives a bound Mitch a shot of sodium pentanol, the better to make him tell the truth.  But instead of answering questions, Mitch hallucinates snakes and bears.

What’s going on?  Well, not surprisingly, it’s all Teague’s fault.  In this episode, it is revealed that Teague is a part of an organization that is in conflict with the corrupted, modern version of the Knights Templar.  (*sigh*  Haven’t the Knights Templar suffered enough without being a part of every dumbass conspiracy theory out there?)  Mitch and Ryan have been kidnapped in an effort to bring Teague into the open …. or something.  To be honest, it’s never quite clear what the whole point of the kidnapping is.

The woman with the drugs apparently has a change of heart and helps Mitch and Ryan escape from their cells.  Of course, it turns out that this is all a part of the scheme to reveal Teague’s location.  (Why do conspiracies always have to be so complicated?)  Mitch figures out what’s going on and he and Ryan escape from the woman and try to break out of the prison.  If you’ve ever wanted to spend twenty minutes watching David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon crawl around inside a heating duct, I guess this is the episode for you.

This episode feels rather pointless.  It’s never quite clear what the Templars want and Teague hasn’t really been developed enough as a character for his great friendship with Mitch and Ryan to feel authentic.  One gets the feeling that this episode was written at the last minute and a lot of the action comes across as being filler that was included to disguise the fact that this episode really didn’t have a plot.  Obviously, the show was hoping to turn the Templars into a regular set of villains, much as how The X-Files had those aliens and all the black goo.  But, if the Templars can’t even track down Teague without having to kidnap Mitch and Ryan, how intimidating can they really be?

Watching this episode, I found myself wondering how Mitch can get kidnapped and drugged by a secret organization and then go to work as a lifeguard the next day.  I mean, after everything that Mitch has seen this season, he should be one of those raving lunatics who you see on street corners holding “The End Is Near” signs.  He should be crazier than someone who has looked straight at Cthulhu.  Instead, he’s still the same mellow beach bum that he’s always been.

More power to him, I guess.  That’s the Hoff for you.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 2.17 “Earthquake” (dir by John Newland)


Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond deals with a bellboy named Gerald Perkins (David Opatoshu).  Gerald keeps telling everyone that there’s going to be an earthquake but no one’s willing to listen to him.  Everyone knows that Gerald is a recovering alcoholic so they assume that he’s just drinking again.  Needless to say, it’s far easier to fire someone than to listen to his insane ramblings, right?

Well, considering that this story takes place in San Francisco in 1906, perhaps they should have listened.

According to host John Newland, this is a true story.  It originally aired on January 12th, 1960!

Enjoy!

Horror Film Review: Godzilla (dir by Roland Emmerich)


There’s a giant lizard rampaging through New York, the result of a mutation that happened as a result of being exposed to radiation.  The military tries to stop the lizard but it turns out that stopping a giant lizard is not that easy.  Scientists try to understand the lizard and how it came to be a destructive giant.  The media breathlessly reports from the scene as two wisecracking cameramen do their best to record every second of the mayhem.  The reporters call this lizard …. GODZILLA!

But is it Godzilla?

No, it’s not.  Oh, it may be called Godzilla.  And the movie itself may be called Godzilla.  But the creature at the center of the 1998 American film Godzilla is definitely not Godzilla.

Godzilla was released with a great deal of fanfare in 1998, with commercials and toys and a lot of hype.  Diddy, back when he was still calling himself Puff Daddy, recorded a song for the soundtrack and upset thousands of Led Zeppelin fans like my Dad who found themselves having to deal with kids who thought Kashmir was called Follow Me.  (Diddy singing, “Follow me?”  AGCK!  How cringey is that!?)  But, like many of the film of Roland Emmerich, it’s been almost totally forgotten in the years since.

And why not?  It’s a forgettable film.  It’s the epitome of an assembly-line action blockbuster, the type of thing that Roland Emmerich is known for.  There’s comic relief, in the form of Hank Azaria.  There’s a nerdy scientist hero in the form of Matthew Broderick.  Broderick’s scientist has an ex-wife and yes, Godzilla’s invasion of New York gives them a chance to get back together.  There’s a mysterious Frenchman who is played, somewhat inevitably, by Jean Reno.  The Mayor of New York is a fat guy named Ebert (Michael Lerner) and he has an assistant named Gene (Lorry Goldman) and they get a lot of screentime because Emmerich wanted to make fun of two films critics who didn’t care much for his work.  In fact, the Mayor and his assistant get so much screentime that it distracts from the rest of the film.  Emmerich was directing a multi-million dollar reboot of a beloved franchise and he was more concerned with a petty feud.

He certainly wasn’t concerned with Godzilla.  Personally, I like the giant lizard and one of the only effective moments in the film is when the lizard discovers that its children have been killed by the military.  But that lizard is not Godzilla and the fact that Emmerich made a Godzilla film without Godzilla indicates that he didn’t really care about the monster or its fans.  This film has no love for its source material and that’s a shame.  The Godzilla films are fun!  And the fact that the majority of the ones made up until the release of this film looked kind of cheap and featured a Godzilla who was obviously a man in a rubber suit only added to the fun.  There’s not much fun to be found in this version of Godzilla.  The movie looks great without ever making much of an impression.

And you know what?  Having gotten this review out of the way, I’m ready to get back to reviewing the true Godzilla films.  They may not have cost as much as Emmerich’s film but they’ve got heart.

Previous Godzilla Reviews:

  1. Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1958)
  2. Godzilla Raids Again (1958)
  3. King Kong vs Godzilla (1962)
  4. Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964)
  5. Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster (1964)
  6. Invasion of the Astro-Monster (1965)
  7. Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (1966)
  8. Son of Godzilla (1967)
  9. Destroy All Monsters (1968)
  10. All Monsters Attack (1969)
  11. Godzilla vs Hedorah (1971)
  12. Godzilla vs Gigan (1972)
  13. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973)
  14. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974)
  15. The Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)
  16. Cozilla (1977)
  17. Godzilla 1985 (1985)
  18. Godzilla vs. Biollante (1989)
  19. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah (1992)
  20. Godzilla vs. Mothra (1992)
  21. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2 (1994)
  22. Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla (1994)
  23. Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (1995)
  24. Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (2001)
  25. Godzilla (2014)
  26. Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017)
  27. Godzilla, King of the Monsters (2019)
  28. Godzilla vs Kong (2021)
  29. Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Murder In The Dark (2023, directed by Jacob Osborn)


A group of friends gather and spend a night hanging out.  Old resentments simmer to the surface.  A murder is committed.  A killer with a bag over his head emerges from the night.  The friends try to figure out who amongst them could be a killer or if there’s something else going on.  I know some people will automatically suspect the guy wearing the Slipknot t-shirt because the members of the band all wear masks and the killer wears a mask but that’s the same logic that led to the Satanic Panic of the 1980s.  If he was wearing a Nickelback t-shirt, I would be with you.

This is a short horror film that feels like a bunch of real-life friends got together to play the fictional friends.  The opening half is too talky and slow but the second half picks up and features a few clever touches.  There aren’t many kills and they’re largely bloodless but I think director Jacob Osborn was going for something more than just another slasher.  The movie is more about how the friends relate to each other than anything else.  This is a low-budget, regional film that starts out way too slowly but I’m going to cut it some slack because the second half of the movie makes up for the weak first half.  At a time when the term indie film gets applied to even big-budget productions with major stars, Murder In The Dark is a true independent film.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.13 “King Arthur in Mr. Roarke’s Court/Shadow Games”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, King Arthur comes to Fantasy Island!

Episode 5.13 “King Arthur in Mr. Roarke’s Court/Shadow Games”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on January 23rd, 1982)

Yay!  Tattoo is present in this episode!

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with Wendy Schaal and it’s not her fault that the character of Julie was seriously underdeveloped by the show’s writers.  But I have to admit that I always cheer a little whenever an episode opens with Julie being sent to take care of something elsewhere on the Island.  In this case, Julie is sent to find a home for five adorable kittens while Tattoo and Mr. Roarke deal with this episode’s guests.

Sara Jean Rawlins (Linda Blair) is a country music singer who comes to Fantasy Island with her manager, Sam (the always sinister Peter Mark Richman).  Sara Jean wants to record her song Shadow Games and she wants her former collaborator and boyfriend, Billy, to play guitar on the track.  The only problem is that Billy is believed to have died in a fiery car crash.  Mr. Roarke says that Sara Jean’s fantasy can come true but only if she has total and complete faith.  Plus, she needs to let guitarist Todd Porter (Don Most) play with her.  “It is very important to the success of your fantasy,” Roarke tells her.  Hmmm….I wonder why.

Hey, do you think that maybe Billy isn’t dead and instead, he’s disguised himself as Todd Porter?  That would certainly explain why Todd’s guitar playing sounds just like Billy’s.  And do you think it’s possible that Sam, who is played by an actor who was always cast as a villain no matter what, might turn out to be the story’s true villain?

This fantasy was predictable and Linda Blair overacted the whole “country” aspect of her character but I did like the Shadow Games song.  And Mr. Roarke played the piano at one point!  It’s always fun when Mr. Roarke shows off a new skill.  (Apparently, Montalban himself was a very talented pianist.)

As for the other fantasy, Ralph Rodgers (Tom Smothers) wants to go to the past so he can meet King Arthur.  He specifically says his fantasy is to “meet King Arthur.”  Ralph is briefly sent back to Camelot but, just as abruptly, he returns to the present and he brings Arthur (played by Robert Mandan) with him!  Roarke admits that something must have gone wrong with the time traveling spell but he also points out that Ralph wanted to “meet King Arthur” and now he’s met him.

Now, what do you picture when you think of King Arthur?  Young?  Handsome?  Battle-weary?  Romantic?  British?

Here’s what Fantasy Island gives us.

Now, if you’ve ever seen any old sitcoms from the 70s and the 80s, you’ll probably recognize Robert Mandan.  He was one of those actors who always seemed to play stuffy authority figures.  He was always the overprotective father or the greedy businessman or the principal who wasn’t going to stand for any foolishness in his school.  Robert Mandan was not a bad actor but he was also definitely not British.  But you know what?  Robert Mandan is so miscast as King Arthur that it actually becomes kind of charming.

King Arthur and Ralph wander around the Island while Roarke works on finding a way to send Arthur back to Camelot.  Arthur gets harassed by a group of roughnecks who don’t seem like they really belong on the Island.  (Maybe they work at that fishing village that showed up in one episode and was then never mentioned again.)  Arthur also reveals that his wife, Gwynevere, had vanished.  Ralph eventually goes off on his own and runs into a British woman who says her name is Gwen (Carol Lynley).  She explains she came to the Island because her politician husband was too consumed with work.  Hmmmmm….

The important thing is that

  1. Arthur and Gwen are reunited
  2. Arthur knights Ralph before he and Gwen return to Camelot and,
  3. There’s a masquerade ball and Tattoo dressed up like a knight!

This was a silly but cute episode.  Between Robert Mandan as King Arthur and Linda Blair singing country music, this episode was so weird that it was impossible not to enjoy it.  I just hope Julie found a home for all those kittens.