The Art Of War (2000, directed by Christian Duguay)


In The Art of War, Wesley Snipes plays Neil Shaw, an UN operative who is framed for the assassination of a Chinese diplomat and who must uncover the real conspiracy while also proving his innocence.  Proving his innocence means engaging in a lot of conflict while using investigation techniques that were cribbed from the Mission Impossible films.

Featuring a lot of war but not much art, The Art of War has a few good action scenes and an overly convoluted storyline that sometimes makes the film feel like a retread of another film in which Snipes was framed for a crime he did not commit, U.S. Marshals.  It’s hard to take seriously any action hero who works for the United Nations but Wesley Snipes is credible in the action scenes and he could deliver a one-liner with the best of them.  (Of all the bad things you can say about the IRS, the worst is that it put one of our best action stars in prison.  Unforgivable!)  The supporting cast is good, featuring Donald Sutherland, Maury Chaykin, Anne Archer, and Michael Biehn.  The final battle between Snipes and the person who is revealed to be the main villain is exciting but, overall, The Art of War is overlong and overcomplicated.  Neil Shaw is cool but he’s no Blade.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.1 “Nearer My God To Thee”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, we begin the third season!

Episode 3.1 “Nearer My God To Thee”

(Dir by Tim Hunter, originally aired on October 14th, 1994)

The third season of Homicide opens with a disgusted Stan Bolander watching a relatively tame soap opera in the breakroom.  He’s offended by the fact that two of the show’s characters are shown in bed.  To Bolander, that’s the equivalent of pornography on network television.  Lewis points out that television execs force showrunners to add sex in order to bring in ratings.  Munch mentions that it’s strange that television is allowed to show sex but not nudity.  Munch then goes on to predict that there will soon be hundreds of channels, a channel for every interest.  There will be channels about animals and religion and politics and soon, anything you want to see will be at your finger tips and it will lead to people becoming dull and lazy.  John Munch, super prophet!

Hmmm …. do you think maybe Tom Fontana, who wrote this script and was one of Homicide’s executive producers, was maybe venting some of his own frustration over the demands that NBC was making in return for giving a third season to the critically acclaimed but low-rated Homicide?  Because the third season premiere of Homicide is a bit different from the previous two seasons.  For one thing, Jon Polito is no longer in the cast.  (Lewis mentions that Crosetti is on vacation in Atlantic City.)  Isabelle Hofman, who is certainly more attractive than anyone who has previously appeared on the show, has joined the cast as Lt. Megan Russert, the second shift commander.  And this episode features its share of nudity and sex.

At the same time, it’s still an excellent episode of Homicide.  Isabelle Hofman gives a tough and no-nonsense performance as Russert and, by the end of the episode, she seems as if she belongs in the ensemble as much as her less glamorous castmates.  And this episode has its share of sex and nudity but it’s all essential to the plot.  This episode lets us know that, for now, Homicide is a show that can adjust without losing its integrity.

The episode’s case is a red ball (which is a term used to indicate it’s a case that’s going to get media attention).  Katharine Goodrich, the 30 year-old founder of a shelter for battered women, has been found dead in a dumpster, nude except for a pair of long white cotton gloves, the type of gloves that you might expect to see at a royal procession but not at a crime scene.  Russert’s shift has picked up the case and, to everyone’s horror, the incompetent and racist Roger Gaffney (Walt MacPherson) is the primary detective.  The brass ask Giardello to keep an eye on Russert because they feel she’s too inexperienced to handle the investigation.  Giardello (and let’s take a moment to acknowledge just how wonderful Yaphet Kotto was in this role) calls in his own detectives to help out the second shift.  As you might have guessed, the two shifts do not have much respect for each other.  It’s chaos, especially when Gaffney and Pembleton nearly come to blows over Gaffney’s racism,  Russert defuses the situation and the scene, to be honest, is a bit overwritten.  From the first minute she appeared in the episode, Hofman has been credible as a detective and a lieutenant so writing one heavy-handed scene just so she can further prove herself feels almost an insult to the strength of her performance.  Hofman (and Russert) has already proven herself without having to dare Pembleton to shoot Gaffney and throw his life away.

That said, this was a strong episode.  Goodrich was a devout Catholic and Pembleton and Bayliss discuss their own views on religion.  Bayliss has tried out all the Protestant denominations (even the — *snort* — Unitarians) and is a bit of a cynic.  Pembleton was educated by Jesuits and says at one point that, “There are two types of Catholics.  Devout and fallen.  I fell.”  It’s a scene that could have been awkward but Andre Braugher and Kyle Secor pull it off wonderfully.  Secor, especially, has really come into his own.  Bayliss is no longer the awkward and earnest rookie from the first season.  In fact, Bayliss has so come into his own that he agrees to invest in a bar with Lewis and Munch.  They’re burying the Waterfront!

(Before Bayliss offers to invest, there’s a humorous scene where Much and Lewis try to convince Bolander to not only invest but to also be the bar’s mascot.  “A big man deserves a big meal,” Munch says.  Bolander — who I’m happy to say is far less whiny in this episode than he was during the previous two seasons — is not interested.  It’s kind of funny how Munch basically hero worships a guy who really seems like he wants nothing to do with him outside of work.)

Kay spends the episode taking calls from Felton’s wife, Beth (Mary B. Ward).  Beth recently kicked Felton out of the house because she thought Felton was cheating on her.  Felton admits to Kay that he is cheating on her.  When Kay isn’t running interference for her partner, she’s defending Russert when the other detectives insinuate that Russert must be slept her way to the top.  Kay lists all of Russert’s qualifications and commendations.  Yay, Kay!  You tell them!  Later, Russert sees Kay looking exhausted and snaps at her to get to work.  “Bitch,” Kay mutters.  Ouch!  Still, I laughed.

Felton breaks into his house to retrieve a suit, just to be confronted by Beth.  An obviously unstable Beth proceeds to take a pair of scissors to Felton’s jacket before then stripping down to her underwear, getting in bed, and asking Felton to leave so she can get some sleep.  (I’m going to guess that rather disturbing and deliberately anti-erotic scene was Fontana’s subversive answer to the NBC execs who asked him to sex up the show a little.)  Later, Russert finally goes home to get some rest and check in on her daughter.  Felton shows up at her front door and, after he tells her the one of his leads on the Goodrich murder went dry, she responds by passionately kissing him.  Now, we know where Felton has been going whenever Beth kicks him out.

As for the Goodrich murder, it turns out that, despite what everyone assumed, she was not raped.  After a nun tells Pembleton and Bayliss that Katherine never wore gloves, Pembleton deduces the gloves were put on her body after she was killed.  Gaffney insists that Katherine’s murderer was probably the boyfriend of one of the women at the shelter but Pembleton disagrees.  (This leads to the fight that I mentioned earlier.)  While Russert wants to keep the gloves out of the news, a smarmy reporter (Tony Todd) threatens to reveal their existence unless she agrees to come to him first with any developments.  As the episode ends, Pembleton and Bayliss are canvassing the crime scene and it’s hard not to notice that they are now the ones wearing white gloves, rubber in this case.  Bayliss says its pointless to keep canvassing the crime scene.  But then he and Pembleton spot a storage shed with a busted lock.  As they open the door, the end credits begin.

To be continued!

What a great way start to season 3.  Yes, I realize that this case is pretty much the exact opposite of the gritty, pointless murders that the first two seasons focused on but still, I am now very much wondering who killed Katherine Goodrich and why they put the gloves on her hands.  I hope this won’t be another unsolvable Adena Watson case.  Fortunately, I have total faith in Frank Pembleton.

I can’t wait to see what happens next week!

 

Song of the Day: Mean Street by Van Halen


I was trying to figure out what song to pick for song of the day when I happened to see that today would have been Eddie Van Halen’s birthday.  I nearly picked Panama for our song but then I saw this video for a song called Mean Street on YouTube and I felt the video showed off Van Halen’s guitar playing a bit more than the video for Panama.

And that’s how Mean Street become today’s song of the day!

(Plus, I want to save Panama for whenever we get around to officially annexing it.)

At night I walk this stinkin’ street past the crazys on my block and I see the same old faces and I hear that same old talk and I’m searching for the latest thing, a break in this routine, I’m talkin’ some new kicks, ones like you ain’t never seen

This is home, well, this is Mean Street, it’s our home, the only one I know

And we don’t worry ’bout tomorrow ’cause we’re sick of these four walls
Now what you think is nothin’ might be somethin’ after all
Now you know this ain’t no through street, the end is dead ahead
The poor folks play for keeps down here, they’re the living dead

Come on down, huh, down to Mean Street
They’re dancin’ now, Lord, out on Mean Street
Dance, baby

It’s always here and now, my friend, it ain’t once upon a time, it’s all over, but the shouting, I come, I take what’s mine
We’re searching for the latest thing, a break in this routine, talkin’ some new kicks ones like you ain’t never seen

This is home, mmm, this is Mean Street, it’s our home, only one I know

See, a gun is real easy in this desperate part of town, turns you from hunted into hunter (yeah), you go an’ hunt somebody down, wait a minute, ah, somebody said fair warning, Lord, Lord, strike that poor boy down

Songwriters: Edward Van Halen / Alex Van Halen / Michael Anthony / David Lee Roth

#SundayShorts with WEDLOCK (1991)!


Since Sunday is a day of rest for a lot of people, I present #SundayShorts, a weekly mini review of a movie I’ve recently watched.

Master diamond thief Frank Warren (Rutger Hauer) pulls off a big job with the help of his fiancé Noelle (Joan Chen) and his best friend Sam (James Remar). Unfortunately, after the job is finished, Noelle unceremoniously ends her courtship with Frank when she shoots him multiple times because she’s now hooked up with Sam. The next time we see Frank, who somehow survived the close-range shootings, he’s on a bus to a prison called Camp Holliday, which is run by Warden Holliday (Stephen Tobolowsky). Camp Holliday is a high-tech prison where each inmate is gifted a collar containing an explosive device that also happens to be electronically connected to another inmate. As long as the two prisoners are within 100 yards from each other, it’s all good. If they are separated by more than 100 yards, their collars will explode leaving a bloody nub where their head used to be. And since nobody knows who their “wedlock partner” is, trying to escape is not a strong option. One day fellow prisoner Tracy Riggs (Mimi Rogers) comes to Frank and tells him that she’s his wedlock partner. Through a variety of circumstances, the two are able to escape, but they still must maintain their 100-yard proximity as the authorities try to track them down. Meanwhile, Sam and Noelle, and even Warden Holliday, have all teamed up to try to find where Frank stashed the diamonds prior to heading to prison. And what about Tracy, who’s side is she really on?

I didn’t have the Home Box Office channel when I was growing up, so I wasn’t aware of this film until it premiered on home video as “DEADLOCK.” Of course, being a huge fan of Rutger Hauer, I rented it as soon as possible. The key to lower budget, made-for TV movies working will always be tied to three things: an entertaining premise, a game cast, and a director who can put the movie together. I’m happy to report that WEDLOCK has each of these things. Even though we had seen exploding neck collars in prison before in THE RUNNING MAN (1987), I like the way this film ties one prisoner’s fate to another’s. That extra dimension makes for some exciting moments in the film. Rutger Hauer is especially good in WEDLOCK. If any other actor was in the lead, I honestly doubt I would have enjoyed it as much, but with him it becomes a fun movie. And the fact that he’s tied to the beautiful Mimi Rogers for most of the movie makes it that much more fun. The remainder of the cast goes pretty far over the top, but that’s okay because subtle character portrayals are not part of the equation in these types of movies. James Remar and Joan Chen are fun as the initial betrayers and current pursuers, Basil Wallace is effectively evil as a bully and fellow inmate, and Stephen Tobolowsky is his usual fun self as Warden Holliday.  Director Lewis Teague has a pretty nice resume of interesting films leading up to WEDLOCK, including ALLIGATOR (1980), FIGHTING BACK (1982), CUJO (1983), CAT’S EYE (1985), and NAVY SEALS (1990). He does a fine job here, as the movie has many well executed scenes that play out at a nice pace. Overall, I’ve always been a fan of low budget action movies that are done well. This one fits the bill for me.  

Five Fast Facts:

  1. Rutger Hauer and Joan Chen worked on 3 films together, including WEDLOCK. I have a soft spot in my heart for their film THE BLOOD OF HEROES (1989) and recommend it. I thought their other movie, PRECIOUS FIND (1996) was pretty bad. I watched it one time in the 90’s and haven’t watched it since.
  2. WEDLOCK received a Primetime Emmy nomination for “Outstanding Individual Achievement in Sound Editing for a Miniseries or a Special.”
  3. Even though WEDLOCK was set “in the future,” early in the film we see a movie theater marquee showing the Steven Seagal movie MARKED FOR DEATH (1990). I found that interesting considering that Basil Wallace is a bad guy in WEDLOCK, and he played twin brother bad guys in MARKED FOR DEATH. Danny Trejo also has small parts in both WEDLOCK and MARKED FOR DEATH.
  4. Mimi Rogers starred in another film in 1991 called THE RAPTURE. It’s a thought-provoking film that some people love, and some people hate. I personally found it intriguing, and it features a really strong performance from Rogers.
  5. In 1995, the film DEADLOCK 2 was released. It’s not a sequel as it doesn’t build on the events of the first film or bring back any of the characters, but it is set in a world of exploding prison collars. The film stars Esai Morales and Nia Peeples.  

When I rented the film in the early 90’s, it was called DEADLOCK. I’m sure I owned it on VHS at one point in my life.

Check out the trailer below:

Scene That I Love: The “Knife Fight” from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid


Today would have been Paul Newman’s 100th birthday!

For today’s scene that I love, we have Paul Newman winning a fight in 1969’s Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

“There aren’t any rules for a knife fight.”

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Roger Vadim Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Controversial French director Roger Vadim was born 97 years ago today.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Roger Vadim Films

And God Created Woman (1956, dir by Roger Vadim, DP: Armand Thirard)

Blood And Roses (1960, dir by Roger Vadim, DP: Claude Renoir)

Spirits of the Dead: Metzengerstein (1968, dir by Roger Vadim, DP: Claude Renoir)

Barbarella (1968, dir by Roger Vadim, DP: Claude Renoir)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.5 “Not For Commercial Use”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the news comes to Cobb’s!

Episode 3.5 “Not For Commercial Use”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on October 18th, 1987)

The local news station is coming down to Cobb’s to do a story on how things have changed at the store now that the company is under new management.

Really?

Is it just a super slow news day or something?  The insinuation is that it’s actually going to be a 30-minute news special, all about an obscure grocery store in the suburbs of Ontario.  (In this episode, Check It Out! finally admits that the show is taking place in Canada.)  I mean, even if it is a slow news day, I just can’t imagine that a thirty-minute story about Cobb’s would be a huge ratings grabber.

Howard is excited about the idea of being on television.  He calls his Aunt Lil and promises to tug on his ear so that she’ll know that he’s thinking of her.  Howard imagines himself as a TV star.  There’s Howard hosting a talk show!  There’s Howard as a tough detective.  It’s all kind of silly but, in its way, kind of cute.  Howard is a lot more likable this season than he was during the previous two seasons.  And Don Adams, who can sometimes seem a bit indifferent when it comes to playing Howard, actually gave a lively performance in this episode.

TC Collingwood (Elizabeth Hanna), who I guess is supposed to be the liaison between the store and the corporate offices, does not want Howard to appear on TV.  She feels that Howard is a bit too …. I guess “dorky” would be the right term to use here.  She thinks that Howard is going to embarrass the store with his bad jokes and his Bogart impersonation.  TC would rather focus on employees like Leslie, who now wears a chef’s hat and who has apparently transferred from working as a cashier to working in the deli.

(One thing that I’ve noticed is that, during season 3, the show finally hired enough extras to make the store seem like a real place.  There are now employees and shoppers all over the place.  Marlene is no longer the only cashier and Leslie appears to have a good crew working with him at the deli)

As for Howard, he does manage to get on television.  He simply cannot be stopped!  He wanders in front of the camera.  He tells bad jokes.  He does even worse impersonations.  TC ends up locking him in a meat locker but it turns out that the CEO of the company really enjoyed Howard and his antics.  Good for Howard, I guess.

This episode continued this season’s pattern of being far better than the two that came before it.  For once, every member of the cast was allowed a chance to shine.  This episode was worth watching for Viker’s attempt to tell a knock knock joke alone.  Check It Out! was a deeply silly show but at least in the third season it’s finally got consistently funny.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/19/25 — 1/25/25


Here are just a few (admittedly, very few) thoughts on what I watched this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Unlike the characters in Abbott Elementary, I’m not a fan of the American Labor Movement but I still enjoyed this week’s episode about a bus strike.  The remote learning stuff was definitely the highlight of the episodes.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I are continuing to watch this German show on Netflix.  It’s a very intriguing saga of time travel and murder.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Without Brandon in the competition, who cares?  It seems kind of obvious that Egypt’s going to win.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Chef Ramsay saved another restaurant in New Orleans.  That’s good and all but I still wouldn’t want to eat anywhere that’s been featured on Kitchen Nightmares.  Once a mess, always a mess.  At least, that’s the way that I view things as far as food preparation is concerned.

The Oscar Nominations (Thursday Morning, Hulu)

The nominations didn’t do much for me this year.  Honestly, I have to wonder how long it’s going to be until ABC dumps the Oscars and the ceremony is reduced to just streaming on Hulu.  It’s going to happen sooner or later.

The Presidential Inauguration (Monday, C-Span)

I’m thankful for C-Span.  I was able to watch the whole thing without any commentary for either side.

I also watched and reviewed:

  1. Check It Out
  2. CHiPs
  3. Fantasy Island
  4. Friday the 13th: The Series
  5. Highway to Heaven
  6. The Love Boat
  7. Malibu CA
  8. Miami Vice
  9. Monsters
  10. Pacific Blue
  11. St. Elsewhere
  12. Welcome Back Kotter