On tonight’s episode of Hammer House of Horror, a family picks up a hitchhiker. A subsequent tragedy leaves a wife wondering if her husband is actually her husband. This is a creepy and twisty episode that is guaranteed to inspire just a little paranoia.
This episode originally aired on November 29th, 1980.
Working on behalf of World Ecology Bureau (?), the Doctor (Tom Baker) and Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Slader) are sent to a remote research station in Antarctica where an expedition has unearthed two mysterious plant pod. The Doctor recognizes the pod as a Krynoid, an alien that survives by laying its seeds in a host organism who is then slowly and painfully transformed into a plant. One of the members of the expedition, Winlett (John Gleeson), has already been infected. The infection is so bad that the Doctor is forced to say that there is nothing that can be done to save Winlett, other than amputating his arm to try to slow the infection.
While the Doctor and Sarah Jane try to deal with the Krynoid, a pant-obsessed millionaire named Harrison Chase (Tony Beckley) learns of the pod’s existence. He sends two of his henchmen, Scorby (John Callis) and Keeler (Mark Jones) to collect it for him. While the now fully mutated Winlett kills the other members of the expedition, Scorby and Keeler steal one of the pods. Scorby blows up the base, killing Winlett and nearly killing the Doctor and Sarah Jane as well.
That’s all in the first two episodes of this six-episode serial. The remaining four episodes find the Doctor and Sarah Jane (and eventually UNIT) invading Chase’s estate and trying to destroy the Krynoid before it grows big enough to destroy all animal life on Earth. Chase becomes possessed by the Krynoid, Keeler turns into fungus, and several people are strangled by plants. There’s even a death by mulcher.
The Seeds of Doom is one of those serials that has really stuck with me. I think it’s because of how desperate the Doctor gets once he realizes that he’s failed in his mission to keep the Krynoid from escape Antarctica. Tom Baker was usually known for being the funny Doctor but, in this episode, he’s almost an action hero, smashing through windows, beating up numerous henchpeople, and maybe snapping one man’s neck. (It’s hard to tell if the Doctor killed him or just rendered him unconscious.) It’s a different side of the Doctor but it’s appropriate because, for once, the Doctor isn’t one step ahead of everyone else. There’s no time for fun and games when the Krynoid has already taken over Chase’s entire estate.
Harrison Chase was one of the best of the Doctor Who one-off villains. Tony Beckley gave a great performance as Chase, playing him as someone who was an evil fanatic even before his mind was taken over by the Krynoid. By the end of the serial, as he rants while bullet fly around his estate, Chase has become a truly wonderfully loathsome character. Watching him, it’s easy to imagine Tony Beckley playing a minor villain in a James Bond movie. (Sadly, Tony Beckley died just four years after playing Harrison Chase.)
Still, the moment that has always stuck with me is Sarah Jane discovering Keeler, covered in spores and grasping onto his last strands of humanity before becoming a Krynoid. There was always considerable debate over whether or not Doctor Who was too scary for its target audience. That debate usually seems pretty dumb but I imagine The Seeds of Doom inspired more than a few nightmares.
The Seeds of Doom brought the 13th season of the classic series to an impressive end. The Doctor and Sarah Jane decided to take a vacation. They had earned it.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. The show is once again on Tubi!
Justice for Tattoo!
Episode 7.14 “Lady of the House/Mrs. Brandell’s Favorites”
(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on February 25th, 1984)
This was one of the Fantasy Island episode that was not on my DVR. However, now that the show is once again streaming in its entirety on Tubi, I was still able to watch it. Lucky me.
This is probably the worst episode of Fantasy Island that I’ve ever seen.
This episode gets off to a bad start with Mr. Roarke informing Lawrence that there will only be one guest with a fantasy this week. That guest is Esther Brandell (Polly Bergen). Whenever there’s only one guest and that guest is played by a middle-aged actress who was big in the 50s and the 60s, you know you’re about to spend an hour watching an hour of awkward melodrama that you’re supposed to excuse by saying, “She was great in Kisses For My President!”
Mrs. Brandell says that she’s a former sorority house mother who wants her three favorite sorority girls to be her bridesmaids at her wedding. Actually, Mrs. Brandell was a former madam and the three “sorority girls” all worked for her. Bebe (Lauren Tewes), Coleen (Randi Oakes), and Lynn (Shelley Smith) have all moved on and want to keep their past a secret. Over the course of the episode, each will admit the truth to their current partner and each will realize that Mrs. Brandell really did protect and care about them.
This episode basically features the same scene over and over again. Each of the girls works up the courage (or the anger) to admit that they were once a prostitute. Their significant other reacts. One guy tries to blackmail Mrs. Brandell. Another reveals that he knew all along because “I’m an investigative reporter.” Bebe’s idiot boyfriend (Dick Gautier) refuses to believe Bebe and insists that she sleep with another man for money so that he’ll be convinced. What? Bebe realizes that’s not her lifestyle anymore and she really does love her idiot boyfriend, the same one who pimped her out to some random guy on the Island.
And, through the whole thing, Polly Bergen delivers her lines in a voice that sounds like she just finished smoking a pack of cigarettes. The truth of the matter is that Bergen is absolutely lousy in the role but the script is probably as much to blame as Bergen herself. Every scene feels like it’s been cribbed from an old Barbra Stanwyck melodrama. At the end of the episode, the vice cop (Robert Brown) who used to bust her shows up at the wedding. “Everybody freeze!” he says. Oh, thank God, everyone’s getting busted for overacting. Oh wait — Mrs. Brandell (a widow) is marrying him!
The episode ends with the wedding, which would be touching if any of these characters were actually interesting. Lawrence gives away the bride because I guess they had do something to justify paying Christopher Hewett’s salary.
This was not a good trip to the Island. Is this season over yet?
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, there’s a new cop on the beat!
Episode 4.17 “New Guy In Town”
(Dir by Arnold Laven, originally aired on March 15th, 1981)
Ponch is upset because the new rookie on the team, T.C. Hunsacker (Joseph Hacker), is just too perfect. He’s still on probation but he’s already good at his job. He’s a professional. He’s got a good sense of humor. He’s a good bowler. He’s as comfortable talking about classical music as he is talking about cars. He’s not arrogant. He’s nice to everyone. Everyone likes him. Ponch cannot stand that TC doesn’t seem to have a flaw.
Yeah, Ponch, it’s kind of annoying when someone knows everything and can do anything, isn’t it? Seriously, who does this Hunsacker fellow think he is when we all know that this is….
Ponch has other things to be concerned about, though. Martin Beck (Chris Connelly) and Lina Beck (Jenny O’Hara), the brother and wife of someone who died while being chased by Ponch and Baker, are determined to get revenge by killing both of them. Baker is nearly taken out in a hit-and-run. Ponch nearly gets blown up in his car. Fortunately, TC was there to tell Ponch not turn the key in the ignition. TC noticed some wires on the ground and immediately realized there was a bomb in Ponch’s engine….
Wow, is there nothing TC cant do!?
I really am starting to see Ponch’s point. TC really is too good to be true. According to the imdb, this was the only episode in which he appeared. I know that Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada apparently were not getting along during the filming of CHiPs and that Wilcox was threatening to leave the show because he thought the producers favored Estrada over him. Maybe this episode was meant to set up Hunsacker as a possible replacement in case Wilcox did leave. That’s really the only reason I can think of for this show to have devoted so much time to a character who has never been seen before and who, apparently, will never be seen again.
The focus on TC made this an uneven episode but there were a few good chase scenes and a slow-motion van crash. And really, that’s all that one can really ask from this show. An exciting chase can make up for a lot!
For tonight’s horror on television, we have the 11th episode of Hammer House of Horror! This atmospheric episode features Kathryn Leigh Scott as a woman who fears that she is being haunted by the ghost of a would-be rapist that she earlier killed. Simon MacCorkindale plays her husband, who has secret of his own.
This episode originally aired on November 22nd, 1980.
The Time Lords once again decide that they need the Doctor to do their dirty work for them. The TARDIS, with the Doctor (Tom Baker) and Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen) on board, is sent to the rocky planet Karn.
On Karn, the crazed Dr. Solon (Phillip Madoc) lives in a castle and is kidnapping shipwrecked travelers and using their limbs to build a body for Morbius (Stuart Fell with the voice of Michael Spice). Morbius was once a Time Lord but, after being found guilty of war crimes, his body was destroyed but his disembodied brain survived. It now sits atop a makeshift body that has been constructed out of several different alien races. Solon takes one look at the Doctor’s head and decides that it would be the perfect house for the brain of Morbius.
There’s a subplot about the Sisterhood of Karn and the Elixer of Life but make no mistake. This is Doctor Who‘s take on Frankenstein, with the Baron reimagined as a mad scientist on a distant planet and the Monster reimagined as being not at all sympathetic. When I was a kid and first watching these episodes of PBS, The Brain of Morbius was one of my favorites because of the Frankenstein connection and also the look of Morbius. The original Doctor Who was known for its often-shoddy monsters but Morbius was a definite triumph. The brain sitting in a transparent bowl atop a stitched together body was one of the defining images of classic Doctor Who.
The Brain of Morbius is also known for a controversial moment during the final episode, where the Doctor and Morbius engage in a battle of the minds. On a view-screen, the faces of the three former Doctors appear, followed by several faces that had never been shown before. It was actually an in-joke on the part of production. The faces were all members of the Doctor Who crew. For decades, though, this in-joke led to a fierce debate whether or not William Hartnell was actually the first Doctor. This, of course, was back when it was still believed that a Time Lord could only regenerate 12 times. The Doctor Who revival tossed out that idea, along with a lot of other good ideas.
All these years later, The Brain of Morbius still remains one of my favorites of the Fourth Doctor’s adventures. This serial was the Tom Baker/Elisabeth Sladen era at its best.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, Sonny Burnett continues his reign of terror!
Episode 5.2 “Redemption in Blood”
(DIr by Paul Krasny, originally aired on November 11th, 1988)
When last we checked in with Miami Vice, Sonny thought he was a drug lord named Sonny Burnett and he was firing his gun at Tubbs, who he had just recognized as a cop. This episode reveals that Sonny didn’t shoot Tubbs. Instead, he aimed at a wall, firing while Tubbs made his escape.
Working with the psychotic Cliff King (Matt Frewer), Sonny takes over his late boss’s drug empire and continue to fight a war against El Gato (Jon Polito). El Gato is meant to be a “flamboyant” drug dealer, which is a polite way of saying that Polito overacts through the entire episode.
The show hedges its bets by having Cliff commit all of the murders while Sonny rises to power. In fact, when Sonny catches Cliff torturing two of El Gato’s men, Sonny orders Cliff to stop and then offers them jobs in the Burnett operation. Amazingly, over the course of the entire three-episode Burnett arc, Sonny manages to get through the whole thing only killing people in self-defense. Even the cop that he killed at the end of the previous season was a dirty cop who had been sent to kill him. I get that the show couldn’t take Sonny totally over to the dark side but it’s still hard to believe that Burnett took over the Miami underworld without getting his hands a bit more dirty than he did.
A car bomb (courtesy of El Gato) knocks Sonny unconscious and, when he wakes up, he suddenly starts to remember who he actually is. Finally realizing that his name is Crockett, Sonny turns himself into the Vice Squad and is promptly arrested while Kate Bush sings, “Don’t give up.” Sonny tells Castillo, Switek, and Tubbs that he’s ready to acccept the consequences of whatever he did during his previous bout of amnesia. But then Sonny escapes custody and sets up both Cliff and El Gato for a great fall so I guess he wasn’t totally ready to turn himself in and head off to prison.
Tubbs, who now trusts Sonny, helps him take out Cliff King and the Burnett organization. Sonny shoots Cliff to save Tubbs. With Tubbs dangling off of a walkway, Sonny pulls him back up to safety. Sonny then goes back to his mansion where he and his girlfriend (Debra Feuer) are taking hostage by a gun-wielding El Gato. “Where is the safe?” El Gato demands. Sonny tricks El Gato into thinking the safe is in the room where he keeps his pet panther. (Apparently, all drug lords were given either a tiger, a panther, a cheetah, or a leopard.) El Gato gets mauled to death as the episode ends.
This episode suggests that Sonny is going to be let off the hook because he finally remembered he was. I don’t really think that it would really work like that. Sonny has multiple warrants out and he also killed a cop, albeit a corrupt one. If Sonny isn’t on trial in next week’s episode, I’m going to be a little annoyed.
This episode ended the Burnett trilogy about as well as it could be ended. The idea that all Sonny needed was to survive a second near-fatal explosion made me smile. What if El Gato hadn’t tried to blow him up? I guess it’s a good thing that he did! While Polito went overboard, Matt Frewer gave a very good performance as the villainous Cliff King. It’s a bit of a shame that he died so dramatically because Cliff would have made a good recurring villain.
This episode was definitely better than anything from season 4. It’ll be interesting to see how the rest of season 5 plays out.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.
Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through….
Episode 1.9 “Coming of Age”
(Dir by Bruce MacDonald, originally aired on Mary 13th, 2002)
Degrassi: The Next Generation‘s slogan used to be “Degrassi goes there!” and that’s certainly the case with this week’s episode. Emma goes from being irrationally annoyed by Sean and Manny to crying while watching a documentary about space. Spike decides to cheer her up by taking her to the mall. After Spike tells off a random man who makes a misogynistic comment (Go Spike!), she buys Emma a new white skirt to help her get over her depression.
(Awww! My mom used to do the same thing for me whenever I was depressed.)
The next day, Emma wears that cute, bright white skirt to school.
And gets her first period.
This episode is a good reminder of why you never wear white when your period is coming. It’s also a good reminder that your period is nothing to be ashamed of, which is something that we shouldn’t have to be reminded of but, unfortunately, we sometimes do. When Emma delivers her book report while wearing oversized gym shorts, JT makes a dumb comment asking if Emma had an accident. Emma replies that “No, I just got my period for the first time …. it happens to 50% of the population. Perfectly natural, nothing to be ashamed of.” Woo hoo! You tell ’em, Emma! And seriously, go to Hell, JT. No wonder you’re going to end up dying in another 5 seasons.
Seriously, Emma’s character usually annoys me to death (and, in later episodes, you’ll see why) but she rocks in this episode. But you know who is really cool in this episode? Paige, who comes to Emma’s rescue with a pad and assures her that coming of age is no big deal.
As for the other storyline …. eh. It’s another boring Ashley/Jimmy storyline. Jimmy’s parents are professionals who are too busy working to make dinner for their son. So, Jimmy has been hanging out at Ashley’s house. Ashley gets tired of her boyfriend always being around. When Toby overhears Ashley whining to her mother about Jimmy always being at the house, he tells Jimmy.
Did I mention that it’s Jimmy’s birthday?
Long story short, Jimmy breaks up with Ashley and ends up spending his birthday alone, eating pizza. Oh my God! That’s so sad! Seriously, couldn’t he at least have gotten Spinner to come over and split a Ritalin with him? But, the next day, he and Ashley get back together. This will be a recurring theme through Jimmy and Ashley’s time on Degrassi so get ready for a lot of break-ups and make-ups.
(I still found it funny that part of Ashley’s issue with Jimmy hanging out at the house was that he was bonding with Toby. I can only imagine how Toby feels about having Terri basically living in the room next to his. This season, it’s hard not to notice that Terri is always following Ashley around. Eventually, in the third season, Terri will get a boyfriend and a life outside of being Ashley and Paige’s servant. Unfortunately, Terri’s boyfriend will eventually end up leaving her with serious brain damage before shooting Jimmy in the back….)
And remember — Degrassi goes there!
Congratulations to the Seattle Mariners! Tonight, they defeated the Blue Jays and won Game One of the American League Championship Series!
I know that I never thought I’d be cheering for Seattle but I’ll support any team that keeps the Blue Jays out of the World Series! Keep it up, Seattle! Your three games away from the pennant!
The final score was Mariners 3, Blue Jays 1.
As for the National League Championship, it’s the Brewers vs the Dodgers and I don’t care who wins as long as they can beat Seattle in the World Series!
Since we’ve been talking about werewolves today, I decided to take a one-night break from Hammer House of Horror and share this Halloween-themed episode of Highway to Heaven. Michael Landon recreates his role as the Teenage Werewolf and scares Mark half to death. He also helps a kid play some tricks and get some treats.
This originally aired on October 28th, 1987. The series was a bit silly but this episode is kind of fun. Keep an eye out for Michael Berryman!
Through the Shattered Lens 