Brad reviews DEAD TONE (2007), starring Rutger Hauer!


DEAD TONE (2007), also known as 7EVENTY 5IVE, opens with a group of kids playing a prank-calling game called “Seventy-Five,” where the goal is to place a random phone call and tell such a believable story that the person who answers will stay on the line at least 75 seconds. One guy seems upset when they call him. Later that night, while everyone is sleeping, a psycho with an axe comes in and brutally murders all the parents while the kids hide and watch in terror. Jump forward ten years and most of the kids who survived the night of terror are now college students. Invited to a weekend party at a wealthy classmate’s mansion, the group resumes their prank-calling game. Needless to say, when the maniac from ten years earlier answers the phone, the members of the group find themselves being stalked and murdered again. Hopefully Detective John Criton (Rutger Hauer), who worked the original murders 10 years earlier, will figure out who the killer is and stop him before everyone dies!

DEAD TONE is directed by Brian Hooks and Deon Taylor, who also star in the film. They’ve created a gory, low-budget slasher that blends elements of ‘80s and ‘90s horror films with an urban twist. For a guy who did his share of prank calls as a kid, I think the “psycho on the receiving end of a prank call” storyline is pretty cool. And the opening scene where the kids watch as their parents are killed because of their phone calls is horrific and pulls you right into the story. Unfortunately, once we get past the interesting open, there’s nothing that special about the rest of the movie. The characters aren’t particularly memorable or likable, and they sure as hell aren’t very smart. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking that I would never make another prank call again if I survived a mass murder event that was brought on by prank phone calls. These folks have no such qualms, which may not make any sense in the real world, but I guess is necessary if you need more axe murders for your plot. I will admit that there are a few awesome kills in the film, especially if you enjoy a good beheading. I won’t spoil the scenes, but the ones I’m specifically thinking of are both surprising and jarring at the same time. I’m also the kind of guy who will watch anything featuring Rutger Hauer. DEAD TONE’s Detective John Criton isn’t a character highlight of his career, but I still enjoy watching him go through the motions of investigating the crimes both in the present and in the past. It’s a part that he could have completed in his sleep, but this movie would have benefited from more “Hauer time.”

Overall, DEAD TONE is the kind of movie to watch with little to no expectations. It’s not great, but if you’re in the mood for a slasher movie with jump scares, silly characters, some decent gore, and even an acting legend thrown in for good measure, you could do a lot worse than DEAD TONE!

Horror Miniseries Review: Crystal Lake (dir by Michael Lennox, Celine Held, and Quyen Tran)


Crystal Lake is a thousand times better than Carrie.

Whoops. Did I say a thousand? I meant to say a million.

I say this despite the fact that Crystal Lake pretty much falls apart during its final two episodes. If the first six episodes constitute an enjoyable and, at times, even loving homage to the Friday the 13th films, the final two episodes go off the rails by giving Jason Voorhees, the epitome of an old-school slasher villain and the symbol of unelevated horror, a very 21st-century, American Horror Story-style origin story. It’s a thoroughly unnecessary addition to the Jason saga, one that exists to plug the plot holes that most Friday the 13th fans have always been happy to ignore. It’s just as bad as Jason Goes to Hell’s insistence that Jason was actually a space slug who could possess people. Personally, I think that we should do what true Friday the 13th fans always do whenever we come across something that doesn’t work and just ignore it.

Even taking that into account, Crystal Lake is still infinitely better than Carrie.

The difference between Crystal Lake and Carrie is that Crystal Lake isn’t trying to be something that it isn’t. Crystal Lake isn’t ashamed of being a pulpy, sordid, and rather bloody horror miniseries. Carrie was made to win Emmys and critical plaudits. Crystal Lake was made to make you put your hands over your eyes whenever Pamela Voorhees (Linda Cardellini) hacks someone’s face off. Crystal Lake fully embraces the horror. Crystal Lake obviously loves the Friday the 13th films, with all of their flaws. Carrie is a series made by and for people who think that they’re better than the horror genre. Crystal Lake is not.

Crystal Lake serves as a prequel to the first Friday the 13th film. Pamela Voorhees is the cook at Camp Crystal Lake and, in the first episode, her son, Jason, disappears while swimming. The camp counselors who were supposed to be watching him were making love. Pamela snaps. She refuses to accept that her son has drowned. She watches angrily as the town moves on. When she hears that the Christys are going to reopen the camp, she is not pleased. That said, she’s snapped long before that. Unlike Carrie, which went out of its way to absolve the character of any sort of responsibility, Crystal Lake does not shy away from presenting Pamela as an unhinged killer. She kills two mysterious men who show up at her house. She kills the abusive mother of Grace (Gwendolyn Sundstrom), who was Jason’s only friend at camp. When a group of Marxist hippies show up and try to convince the now-orphaned Grace to run away with them, Pamela goes after them as well. Pamela kills a lot of people in this miniseries, but she remains a compelling character because of Linda Cardellini’s wonderful performance in the lead role. Her love for Jason is real, and it’s easy to understand why she would feel such rage at a town that is pretending he didn’t exist or why she would have no sympathy for a mother who abuses her child. Cardellini gives such a strong performance that it’s disappointing that the final two episodes let the series down.

As someone who has seen all of the Friday the 13th films, I appreciated how carefully and exactly Crystal Lake recreated the feel and the visuals of the first two entries. Its version of Crystal Lake looks identical to the one that poor Annie discovered during the first film. Even the minor characters are made up to almost exactly resemble the actors who played them in the first film. I immediately knew who was supposed to be Enos. I knew who was supposed to be the waitress with whom Steve Christy would eventually share one of his final conversations. (Steve Christy is seen a few times in Crystal Lake, as a very ’70s teenager.) A wonderful actor named Nick Cordileone played the role of “Crazy” Ralph and, whenever he was on screen, I could immediately see him becoming the character that Walt Gorney played in the first two films. A lot of love and care went into recreating the town of Crystal Lake and the camp. The series does, admittedly, move things up chronologically. In the first film, Jason disappeared in the ’50s. In the series, it happens in the ’70s. That’s no big deal, though. The show has a lot of fun both recreating the ’70s and poking fun at the decade’s unique culture. One need only watch the scene where Pam is dragged to a seminar given by a self-consciously hip self-help guru to understand why the decade gave rise to the unapologetically cynical slasher boom of the ’80s.

Now again, the Jason origin story that is presented in the seventh episode is a problem. And if Crystal Lake returns for a second season, I sincerely hope that it will be ignored in much the same way that the franchise has traditionally ignored its mistakes. If it doesn’t, it’s not going to bode will for the future of this series. Still, flaws and all, Crystal Lake is an enjoyably sordid and bloody show. It makes no apologies for being what it is. Other horror shows could stand to learn from it.

Bonus Horror On The Lens: Not Of This Earth (dir by Roger Corman)


 

Today, we have a bonus horror on the Lens, the 1957 Roger Corman-directed, sci-fi “epic,” Not of this Earth.

Paul Johnson (Paul Birch) may seems like a strange character, with his stilted way of speaking and his sunglasses and his overdramatic reaction to any and all loud noises.  Paul could us be an eccentric.  Or, he could be …. NOT OF THIS EARTH!  Actually, his habit of draining people of their blood and sending weird, umbrella-like creatures out to attack his enemies would seem to suggest that the latter is probably true.

Listen, it’s not easy being a blood-sucking alien.  I mean, sure, there’s always seems to be people stupid enough to show up at your mansion so that you can drain their bodies.  Paul is lucky that he doesn’t exactly seem to be surrounded by brain surgeons.  But sometimes, things happen.  For instance, someone might show up from your home planet and demand an immediate transfusion!  What is an alien to do?

Watch this low-budget but undeniably entertaining film to find out!  And be sure to especially keep an eye out for the great Dick Miller, who reportedly improvised his role as a vacuum cleaner salesman.  (Before going into acting, Miller actually did sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door.)

 

Horror On The Lens: The Terror (dir by Roger Corman, et al)


 

Today, we’ve got a treat!

Who wouldn’t love to see a movie where a youngish Jack Nicholson played a French soldier who, while searching for a mysterious woman, comes across a castle that’s inhabited by both Dick Miller and Boris Karloff?

In Roger Corman’s 1963 film The Terror, New Jersey-accented Jack Nicholson is the least believable 19th century French soldier ever.  However, it’s still interesting to watch him before he became a cinematic icon.  His performance here is rather earnest, with little of the sarcasm that would later become his trademark.  Boris Karloff is, as usual, great and familiar Corman actor Dick Miller gets a much larger role than usual.  Pay attention to the actress playing the mysterious woman.  That’s Sandra Knight who, at the time of filming, was married to Jack Nicholson.

Reportedly, The Terror was one of those films that Corman made because he still had the sets from his much more acclaimed film version of The Raven.  The script was never finished, the story was made up as filming moved alone, and no less than five directors shot different parts of this 81 minute movie.  Boris Karloff’s scenes were filmed first, with the other actors performing in front of a body double during their scenes.  Among the many directors who filmed bits and pieces of The Terror: Roger Corman, Jack Hill, Monte Hellman, Francis Ford Coppola, Coppola’s roommate Dennis Jakob, and even Jack Nicholson himself!  (Despite this number of directors involved, Corman received the sole directorial credit.)  Perhaps not surprisingly, the final film is a total mess but it does have a definite historical value.

(In typical Corman fashion, scenes from The Terror were later used in the 1968 film, Targets.  In that film, Karloff plays a version of himself, an aging horror actor who watches The Terror and dismisses it as being “terrible.”)

Check out The Terror below!

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom!


 

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  Join us for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!

 

 

Horror Song of the Day: Profondo Rosso by Goblin


Today’s horror song of the day comes from Dario Argento’s Deep Red!

Deep Red features the first collaboration between Argento and Goblin and the score remains a classic and one that I listen to every October.

Here’s Goblin performing Profondo Rosso on Italian television in 1975.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Godzilla vs. Megalon


For today’s Horror Scene That I Love, let’s take a minute or two to show some respect to one of the world’s greatest (and longest-lived) film stars, Godzilla!  Whether he’s attacking humanity as the literal representation of atomic age anxiety or if he’s saving Earth from a bunch of aliens, Godzilla has always been a superstar.

In this scene from 1973’s Godzilla vs. Megalon, Godzilla shows just how much of a star he is by taking a stand against bullying and saving his friend, Jet Jaguar.  In this scene, Godzilla shows that he was an anti-bullying activist even before it was cool.  Megalon and his friend thought they could just taunt poor old Jet Jaguar.  Not as long as Godzilla’s around!

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: Special Kevin S. Tenney Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we wish a happy birthday to Kevin S. Tenney, director of some of most best loved horror films of the 80s and the 90s!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Kevin S. Tenney Films

Witchboard (1986, dir by Kevin S. Tenney, DP: Roy Wanger)

Night of the Demons (1988, dir by Kevin S. Tenney, DP: David Lewis)

Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway (1993, dir by Kevin S. Tenney, DP: David Lewis)

Pinnochio’s Revenge (1996, dir by Kevin S. Tenney, DP: Eric Anderson)

Lights Out, Short Film Review by Case Wright


Lights Out is a short film that asks the question: how did you live this long? Even if there were no ghosts, how did you survive with NEGATIVE survival skills?

A woman in her pajamas turns her lights out and sees a monster. So, she does what any person who has the IQ of a rabbit would do, she turns the lights on and off several times, watching the creature get closer to her. Does she run? No. Does she get out of the apartment? No. Does she call for help? No. She goes to be and waits for the monster to kill her.

The short was scary, but did the protagonist just get drunk on stupid juice before she ended her day?