Horror Film Review: Ghost Ship (dir by Steve Beck)


Way back when we first started this year’s horrorthon, Arleigh shared a horror scene that he loved.  That scene was the opening few minutes of the 2002 horror-at-sea film, Ghost Ship.

That scene featured a few dozen wealthy cruise ship passengers all getting bisected by a thin wire cord.  While a young girl named Kate (Emily Browning) watches, everyone on the ship’s dance floor literally falls to pieces.  Torsos slip off of legs.  Bodies split in half.  The captain’s head literally splits in two.  While gallons of blood gush everywhere, people vainly try to reattach their limbs.  Actually, some of them can’t even figure out which limb belongs to them.  By the time everyone’s collapsed, there’s a lot of arms and legs to sort through.

In short, it’s an absolute mess.  I wouldn’t want to be the person assigned to clean up after all that.

It’s also a rather brilliant opening, one that only takes a minute to go from romance and sophistication to bloody dismemberment.  It’s definitely the one moment that everyone remembers about Ghost Ship, which is a bit of a problem because, once that scene is done, there’s still 85 minutes of film to sit through.  Ghost Ship‘s opening is so shocking and visceral that there’s no way that the rest of the film can live up to it.

As for the rest of the film, it deals with a boat salvage crew.  Gabriel Byrne is Murphy, the captain.  Julianne Margulies is Maureen Epps, whose name might as well be Ellen Ripley.  Ron Eldard is Dodge, who is in love with Epps.  And then there’s Karl Urban, Isiah Washington, and Alex Dimitriades, who are all playing characters who you know are going to be doomed as soon as you see them.  When they’re told by a pilot named Jack Ferriman (Desmond Harrington) that he’s spotted a ghost ship in international waters, they set out to claim it for themselves.

Of course, what Jack has spotted is the same cruise ship where, forty years before, everyone was chopped in half.  After Murphy, Epps, and the crew board the ship, they discover a large amount of gold.  They also end up seeing a lot of ghosts, including the young girl from the start of the movie.  To their credit, the crew decides to leave the ship as quickly as they can.  Unfortunately, after their tugboat explodes, escape appears to be impossible and it becomes obvious that they have been lured to the cruise ship for a very specific purpose.

The film encourages us to wonder what the ship wants from the salvage crew but the answer to that question is never really in doubt.  For that matter, it’s not really a shock when it turns out that one member of the boarding party isn’t what he claims to be.  Despite being a bit predictable, Ghost Ship isn’t a bad film.  It has a reputation for being disappointing but actually it’s an atmospheric and competently directed horror film.  Though the characters are all thinly drawn, the talented cast does their best to try to bring them to life.  If the film ultimately doesn’t seem to work as well as it should, it’s largely because nothing that follows can match the power of that opening.  You watching the film waiting for a scene that’ll match that opening scene and when it never comes, it’s hard not to be disappointed.

 

 

Horror on TV: Kolchak: The Night Stalker 1.12 “Mr. R.I.N.G.” (dir by Gene Levitt)


Tonight on Kolchak….

After annoying his editor one too many times, Carl Kolchak has been assigned to write obituaries.  However, you can’t keep a good reporter down and, when Kolchak comes across the mysterious death of a scientist, Kolchak decides to investigate on his own.  Kolchak’s defeated vampires, werewolves, Cajun demons, and serial killers.  How will he do against something made by the government?

This episode originally aired on January 10th, 1975.

Enjoy!

Linda Blair In Oz: Fatal Bond (1992, directed by Vince Monton)


Fatal Bond is another Australian exploitation flick starring Linda Blair.

In this one, Linda plays a hairdresser named Leonie.  When a drifter named Joe (Jerome Ehlers) crashes a birthday party that Leonie’s attending, it’s lust at first sight.  Even though Joe is a violent womanizer who steals milk and headbutts anyone who looks at him crossly, Leonie still takes him home with her.  Soon, Joe is crashing in Leonie’s bedroom and Leonie is providing Joe with an alibi whenever the police come looking for him.  (Joe says that he has a lot of parking tickets.)  When one of Joe’s one night stands turns up dead, Leonie starts to suspect that Joe might be responsible.

Like Dead Sleep, Fatal Bond features Linda Blair as an American who lives in Australia and who has bad taste in men.  While Linda Blair has never been a great actress, she’s almost always brings grit, determination, and a will to survive to her roles.  Unfortunately, none of that is on display in Fatal Bond, where she’s such a pushover that she lets Joe take over her life.  There’s not really much to the whole serial killer storyline either, especially not when the murderer’s identity will be obvious to anyone watching.  There’s also another subplot in the movie about Joe searching for his brother, who has gone missing.  Fatal Bond doesn’t know if it’s a Linda Blair thriller or a standard Australian crime film.

Don’t be fooled by the sexy cover art.  I love a good Linda Blair movie but Fatal Bond was just boring.  If you do see the film, keep an eye out for Joe Bugner, the former heavyweight boxer who once fought Muhammad Ali.  Bugner has a small role as a lowlife criminal in Fatal Bond.  His partner-in-crime is Mel’s younger brother, Donal Gibson, stepping into a role that was originally earmarked for Russell Crowe.

 

 

Horror Scenes That I Love: Craig T. Nelson Freaks Out In Poltergeist


Admittedly, this is a pretty short scene.  It’s only 16 seconds, taking from the much longer climax of 1982’s Poltergeist.

That said, this is one of the greatest over-the-top moments in cinematic history.  Craig T. Nelson basically acts the Hell out of accusing his boss of …. well, you’ll see….

(Also, give some praise to the one and only James Karen, heroically bugging out his eyes there at the end.)

4 Shots From 4 Haunted Films: The Haunting, Poltergeist, The Conjuring, Crimson Peak


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Today, the Shattered Lens gets a little bit spooky with….

4 Shots From 4 Haunted Films

The Haunting (1963, dir by Robert Wise)

Poltergeist (1982, dir by Tobe Hooper)

The Conjuring (2013, dir by James Wan)

Crimson Peak (2015, dir by Guillermo Del Toro)

Halloween Havoc!: JUNGLE WOMAN (Universal 1944)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

Paula Dupree, the Ape Woman of CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN , returned in a sequel titled JUNGLE WOMAN a year later. While the former film has a kind of goofy charm to it, the sequel is a wretched concoction that’s not worth the time it’ll take me to write this – but I’m gonna do it anyway, so bear with me!

JUNGLE WOMAN is the very definition of a ‘quickie’, and I don’t mean that in a good way. A good chunk of the film is made up of stock footage from the original, including the stock footage that film used from Clyde Beatty’s THE BIG CAGE. Even so, it took three screenwriters to come up with this nonsense! The movie starts out okay, with a female fiend attacking a man, who gives her an injection, shown in shadow. But it quickly bogs down as we’re at a coroner’s inquest, with…

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Horror on the Lens: Tormented (dir by Bert I. Gordon)


Halloween is the perfect time for a good ghost story and, with that in mind, here is today’s movie.

Released in 1960 and directed by Bert I. Gordon, Tormented tells the sad story of Tom Stewart (Richard Carlson).  Now, Tom might look like a pretty regular guy but we know that he’s a little bit crazy because he’s a jazz pianist and you know how dangerous those beatnik-types are.  Tom is happily engaged to Meg but one day, his ex-girlfriend Vi shows up.  Vi is obsessed with Tom and swear that she’s going to end his engagement.

So, naturally enough, Tom throws her off of a lighthouse.

Problem solved, right?

Not quite.  Vi may be dead but she’s not out of Tom’s life.  Instead, her disembodied head tends to pop up at random moments and taunt Tom.  Meanwhile, Tom is having to deal with Meg’s suspicious sister and a beatnik (Joe Turkel, who years later played Lloyd the Bartender in The Shining) who is determined to collect the $5 that he claims Vi owes him.

Between the beatniks and the raging ocean and the disembodied head popping up whenever it’s least convenient, Tormented is a lot of fun and the perfect film for some retro Halloween fun.

Lisa’s Week in Review: 10/15/18 — 10/21/18


This has not been an easy week and I’m afraid that I’m now behind on my horror reviews.  This upcoming week should be a busy one!

Here’s what happened: it rained down here nearly every day last week.  On Monday, a building belonging to AT&T was struck by lightning.  The building caught fire.  The roof collapsed.  For the majority of people in Dallas, the internet was down for 11 hours.  The next day, YouTube was down for about five hours.  The day after that, I woke up with a fever and I spent the next two days trying to rest.  It’s been a crazy week.

Anyway, here’s what I did manage to accomplish this week:

Movies I Watched:

  1. Bedlam (1946)
  2. Beyond Darkness (1990)
  3. The Black Hole (1979)
  4. Blood Beach (1981)
  5. Dead Sleep (1991)
  6. Die, Monster, Die (1965)
  7. Dreamscape (1984)
  8. Ghost House (1988)
  9. Ghost Ship (2002)
  10. Goodfellas (1990)
  11. Halloween (1978)
  12. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
  13. The House on Haunted Hill (1959)
  14. Humanoids from The Deep (1980)
  15. Isle of the Dead (1945)
  16. Jacob’s Ladder (1990)
  17. Killer High (2018)
  18. The Old Dark House (1932)
  19. Romero (1989)
  20. Tentacles (1977)
  21. The Walking Dead (1936)
  22. Witchboard (1986)
  23. Witchery (1988)
  24. Zombi 4: After Death (1989)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. American Experience
  2. American Horror Story
  3. Charlie’s Angels
  4. The Conners
  5. Couples Court With The Cutlers
  6. Dancing With The Stars
  7. Degrassi
  8. Doctor Phil
  9. Evil Up Close
  10. Face the Truth
  11. Friends
  12. Ghost Whisperer
  13. Hell’s Kitchen
  14. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
  15. It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
  16. King of the Hill
  17. Kolchak: The Night Stalker
  18. Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court
  19. Manifest
  20. Night Gallery
  21. Parking Wars
  22. The Purge
  23. Seinfeld
  24. Shipping Wars
  25. South Park
  26. Survivor 37
  27. Toy Story of Terror

Books I Read:

  1. Eaten Alive (2002), edited by Jay Slater
  2. Devil’s Day (2018) by Andrew Michael Hurley
  3. Fevre Dream (1982) by George R. R. Martin
  4. Lizzie Borden: The Legend, The Truth, The Final Chapter (1991) by Arnold R. Brown

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Alice on the Roof
  2. Big Data
  3. Camila Cabello
  4. Charli XCX
  5. DJ Snake
  6. Goblin
  7. Goblin Rebirth
  8. HEALTH
  9. Lindsey Stirling
  10. Mani Blu
  11. MOANA
  12. Moby
  13. Perturbator
  14. Petite Noir
  15. Radiohead
  16. Riz Ortolani
  17. Saint Motel
  18. Sina
  19. Thom Yorke
  20. Vondelpark

Links From Last Week:

  1. On her photography site, Erin shared: After It Rained,  Green Creek, Creek, More of the Creek, Creek at Sunset, The Creek, and Flowing!
  2. On my music site, I shared music from DJ Snake, Camila Cabello, Lindsey Stirling, Charli XCX, HEALTH, Alice on the Roof, and Petite Noir!
  3. On Reality TV Chat Blog, I reviewed the latest episode of Survivor!
  4. “The Wicker Man” Burns Up #31DaysOfHalloween! A Cult Classic With A Wild Erotic Dance!
  5. Bride of Frankenstein – Breast Cancer Awareness Month t-shirt
  6. Tater Fixes Some New TV Shows

Links from the Site:

  1. Erin shared the following arwork: The Haunting of Toby Jugg, Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman, Creature From The Black Lagoon, Tarantula, The House on Haunted Hill, The Ghost In The Invisible Bikini, and Evile!
  2. Case reviewed Strawberry Spring, The Ledge, The Lawnmower Man, The Ledge, Night Surf, The Babysitter, and the Revenant!
  3. Gary reviewed The Ghost of Frankenstein, The Invisible Agent, The Mummy’s Tomb, Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man, Captive Wild Woman, The Devil Bat, Phantom of the Opera, Dark Detectives, and Son of Dracula.  He also wrote about Tor Johnson and baseball.
  4. Jeff shared his weekly trailer round-up and reviewed Psycho Cop Returns, After Midnight, Goliath Awaits, Ghost Town, Committed, Dead Sleep, and Bad Blood!
  5. Ryan reviewed Lotta Lipp and Fearless Colors, along with sharing his weekly reading round-up!
  6. Arleigh shared the trailer for The Curse of La Llorona and some music from the new Halloween!

Check out what I did last week by clicking here!

Have a great week, everyone!  It’s almost Halloween!

Horror on TV: Kolchak: The Night Stalker 1.11 “Horror In The Heights” (dir by Michael Caffey)


Tonight, on Kolchak, someone or something is eating the elderly and poor residents of Roosevelt Heights!  Carl Kolchak investigates!

After battling Native American monsters, Cajun monsters, and European monsters, Kolchak finds himself battling a Hindu demon in this episode.  Apparently, Chicago was quite a busy place in the 1970s.

This episode originally aired on December 20th, 1974, just in time for the Christmas season.

Enjoy!

Going There: Bad Blood (1989, directed by Chuck Vincent)


Oh man, this is a twisted movie.

Yuppie lawyer Ted (adult film actor Randy Spears, credited here as Gregory Patrick) is shocked when he sees a painting of a man who looks just like him.  He is told that the portrait was painted in 1964 and that the man in the painting is the late husband of the artist, Arlene (porn legend Georgina Spelvin, credited here at Ruth Raymond).  Arlene goes on to reveal that Ted is actually her long-lost son and then she invites him and his wife, Evie (Linda Blair, credited here as Linda Blair), to come out to her mansion.  What Ted doesn’t realize is that Arlene believes that he is actually her husband reincarnated and she is planning on doing away with Evie so that she can have her son all to herself and do what it is she wants to do with him.  Yes, this film goes there.

Chuck Vincent was one of the leading directors of the Golden Age of Porn.  Unlike most other adult film directors, his movies were popular with not only the public but also with critics.  (His best-known film, Roommates, received a rave in the New York Times.)  In the 80s, Vincent tried to make the move into mainstream film, mostly directing sex comedies and dopey thrillers.  Most of his mainstream films featured adult performers in dramatic roles, which made them very popular on late night cable.

Bad Blood feels like a combination of Fatal Attraction and Misery.  There’s even a scene where Arlene ties up her son in bed and then breaks his toes to keep him from leaving.  (Bad Blood, though, came out a year before Rob Reiner’s film so the resemblance is probably a coincidence.)  Spelvin, who was widely regarded as being the best actress to ever regularly appear in pornographic movies, gives a great, demented performance as Arlene and Linda Blair is also good as Evie.  Chuck Vincent was a good director, even when he was doing schlocky straight-to-video stuff like this.  Perhaps because of his background in adult films, Vincent never hesitated about taking his films to the places where other directors would be scared to tread.  Sadly, Vincent died in 1991 and most of his movies have fallen into obscurity.