Here’s The Trailer For Inferno!


Remember when the Da Vinci Code came out and every toadsucker in the world suddenly thought they were an expert on both art history and Catholic theology?

“The Magdalene was actually the beloved disciple and, by having Jesus’s children, she gave birth the French royal family blah blah blah blah blah..”

Yeah, everyone wants to deny it now and pretend like they were too smart to fall for Dan Brown’s BS but, just ten years ago, Da Vinci Code was a big deal.  I never had much use for it because, as an art history major, it was obvious to me that Dan Brown didn’t know a damn thing about Leonardo Da Vinci or The Last Supper.

Anyway, Ron Howard, Dan Brown, and Tom Hanks are all back with Inferno!  Inferno is going to suck but here’s the trailer anyway:

My advise is that you skip Ron Howard’s Inferno and instead, watch Dario Argento’s!

Dario Argento’s Inferno — now, that’s a good movie!

Here’s The Trailer For Ang Lee’s Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk!


When I originally heard that Ang Lee’s new film was going to be called Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, I was super excited because I assumed it was a baseball film and my sister loves baseball and I’m kind of obsessed with finding movies for my sister to not only watch but to enjoy watching as well!

(If I love you, that means I’m going to obsessively try to find a movie that you’ll love as much as I love Upstream Color.)

However, as I expressed my excitement to the TSL’s own Jedadiah Leland, he mentioned to me that apparently halftime is a football thing.

So, this is not a baseball film!  In fact, judging from the trailer, it’s not much a football movie either.  Instead, it’s a war film.  Or at least, it’s kind of a war film.  Apparently, it’s also a coming home film. Judging from the flag that appears in the background of one of the scenes, it’s also a Texas film.  That can be either good or bad.  Movies never get my home state right, especially when those movies are attempting to make some sort of statement about American foreign policy.

(Seriously, Hollywood: Oregon has its share of jingoistic assholes as well.  Go make a movie about those jerks, for once.)

But — and here’s the reason why I am optimistic — Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk was directed by Ang Lee, who is one of my favorite directors!

In fact, Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk is being described, by some, as the film for which Lee may finally pick up an Oscar for best picture.  (He has two Oscars for directing but none of his films have ever won the big prize.  Adding insult to injury, one of them actually lost to fucking Crash.)

Anyway, I kinda lost my train of thought so, instead of going on and on, I’ll just post the trailer for Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk.

(Damn, that’s a long title…)

 

The New Trailer For The Neon Demon Really Puts The Red Into Red Band!


This new trailer for The Neon Demon really puts the red into red band!

Okay, I’m not sure what that means but it sounds nice and clickbaity so I’ll go with it.  Anyway, The Neon Demon is the latest film from Nicolas Winding Refn.  Refn, of course, is still beloved around these parts for directing Drive…

….which, come to think of it, is a film that I oddly have no desire to sit through again.

Isn’t it funny how that happens sometimes?  You see a film and you know it’s great but, whenever you have a second chance to watch it, you’re just like, “Hmmm…no, once was enough.”

Will I want to rewatch The Neon Demon?  I have no idea but Jena Malone is one of my favorite actresses and Elle Fanning was heartbreakingly good in Somewhere.  There are a few moments in the trailer that made me think of both Maps to the Stars and Lost River (and that’s not a good thing) but then there were other moments that made me think of Under The Skin (and that is a good thing!)

Anyway, this trailer is NSFW so watch it from the safety of your own car…

Oh my God, the trailer for The Accountant actually looks good!


Oh my God, y’all!

Have you seen the trailer for The Accountant!?

It actually looks really good!  I have to admit that I’m a little bit cynical when it comes to Ben Affleck movies but The Accountant looks really, really good.

Will the movie live up to the trailer?  We won’t find out until November.  Until then, watch the trailer below and see what I’m talking about!

Another Fine Mess: Laurel & Hardy in JITTERBUGS (20th Century Fox 1943)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

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Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were two of the screen’s most beloved comics. Their Hal Roach comedy shorts contain some of the screen’s funniest moments, capitalizing on their unique comic personas. But by the 1940’s, Stan and Ollie had separated from Roach, and were plying their trade in features at 20th Century Fox. No longer in control of their material, the roles they played could’ve been filled by any pair of comic actors. That’s what makes later L&H efforts like JITTERBUGS so depressing.

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Stan and Ollie are two itinerant musicians (“The Original Zoot Suit Band”) conned into aiding con artist Chester Wright into hawking “instant gas pills”. The scam gets uncovered in the small town of Midville, where Chester accidentally steals pretty young Susan’s purse. Since he’s smitten with her, he returns it, and discovers Susan is being swindled by some gangland goons. The con plays a con on these cons, aided by Stan…

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4 Shots From 4 Films: Friday the 13th, Friday the 13th Part 2, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Happy Thursday the 12th!  Guess what tomorrow is?  That’s right, it’s Friday the 13th, my favorite day of the year!

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These 4 Shots From 4 Films will help you get into the spirit!

4 Shots From 4 Films

Friday the 13th (1980, directed by Sean S. Cunningham)

Friday the 13th (1980, directed by Sean S. Cunningham)

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981, dir by Steve Miner)

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981, dir by Steve Miner)

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985, dir by Danny Steinmann)

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985, dir by Danny Steinmann)

Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood (1988, dir by John Carl Buechler)

Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood (1988, dir by John Carl Buechler)

Back in 2012, I reviewed every single film in the Friday the 13th film franchise!  It was a lot of fun!

Everyone loves Friday the 13th!

Everyone loves Friday the 13th!

My Friday the 13th reviews:

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

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I Dare You To Watch The Trailer For Nerve!


Below, you’ll find the trailer for the upcoming film Nerve and I dare you to watch it!  (Hence, the title of this post.  Clever, no?)

So, did you watch it?  What did you think?  It looks like it might be kind of stupid but, for whatever reason, I want to see it.  In fact, Nerve is one of those films that you probably have to see when it’s first released because, two or three years from now, it’ll probably seem ludicrously dated.

Is it a romantic comedy?  Is it a multimedia satire?  Is it a thriller?  I’m not really sure.

But it does feature good-looking people running around in their underwear and we all know that’s what audiences really want.

Nerve comes out on July 27th!

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched The Other Night #150: A Mother’s Revenge (dir by Fred Olen Ray)


On Saturday night, my friends the Snarkalecs and I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and we watched the premiere of the latest Fred Olen Ray thriller, A Mother’s Revenge!

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Why Were We Watching It?

Well, the obvious answer is that the film was on the Lifetime Movie Network and it was directed by Fred Olen Ray!  However, I have to admit that I nearly missed A Mother’s Revenge.  Because it was the night before Mother’s Day, Lifetime was planning on broadcasting a film about a basketball player and his mom.  I was definitely not looking forward to watching that but then my friend Trevor informed me that, on the Lifetime Movie Network, A Mother’s Revenge would be airing at the exact same time!  YAY!

I then went on twitter and I discovered that not only was A Mother’s Revenge the latest film from Fred Olen Ray but that it also involved Gerald Webb, the producer and star of A House Is Not A Home and the favorite actor of snarkalecs everywhere!  Once I discovered that all of my fellow snarkalecs would be taking part in the live tweet, there was no way that I wasn’t going to join them!

What Was It About?

It was about a mother and how she got revenge!

(That’s the one line version.)

More specifically, it’s the story of Jennifer (Jamie Luner), a pill-popping, recovering alcoholic who travels to Buffalo so that she can watch her daughter, Katey (Aubrey Whitby), graduate from college.  From the minute that Jennifer arrives, things refuse to work out the way that she wants.

First off, Katey wants to spend some time with her friends as opposed to hanging out with her mother.

Secondly, Jennifer’s ex-husband (Jason-Shane Scott) has also shown up for the graduation and tension, both sexual and otherwise, is everywhere.

Third, Jennifer accidentally grabbed the wrong bag at the airport.  Supercreepy Conner (Steven Brand) wants his bag back and he’s willing to both commit murder and kidnap Jennfer’s daughter to accomplish his goals.

And finally, Buffalo’s best detectives (played by Gerald Webb and Richard Lounello) suspect that Jennifer may be mentally unstable.  Once a dead body shows up, Jennifer automatically becomes their main suspect.

All in all, Jennifer has quite a bit to be upset about…

What Worked?

I liked A Mother’s Revenge.  Fred Olen Ray kept the action moving at a steady pace and I appreciated the way the film emphasized how one totally random mistake (like grabbing the wrong bag at the airport) can change someone’s life forever.  It nicely conformed into my own point-of-view, which is that the universe is basically as chaotic and unpredictable as a Werner Herzog documentary.

Jamie Luner appears in a lot of these movies and she knows how to balance melodrama and pathos.  She and Aubrey Whitby were totally believable as mother and daughter.  Also believable was Steven Brand, who was properly creepy as the sadistic Conner.

A Mother’s Revenge was shot on location in Buffalo and it must be said that the city looked really good.  The Mayor of Buffalo, Byron Brown, made a cameo appearance and who can blame him?  A Mother’s Revenge made me want to visit his town.

Another great thing about A Mother’s Revenge is that a lot of the film’s crew and cast joined in with the live tweet and they were all very gracious, informative, and handled the occasional snarkiness with class and good humor.  What I especially enjoyed was seeing some of the tweets from the various citizens of Buffalo who had been involved with the production.  It was one of the most positive live tweets that I’ve ever taken part in and it generated the type of good vibes that you normally don’t associate with film twitter.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked!

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I’ve actually grabbed the worng bag before.  I did not get blackmailed as a result but maybe I was just lucky.  (However, I did get a week’s worth of new clothes, none of which really worked for me.  I was sad.  Hopefully, the Goodwill appreciated my donation.)

Lessons Learned

Be careful about grabbing the wrong bag.  And, if you do grab the one bag, don’t let anyone find out.