Cleaning Out The DVR: The Sandman (dir by Peter Sullivan)


(Hi there!  So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR.  Seriously, I currently have 189 things recorded!  I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not.  So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR!  Will I make it?  Keep checking this site to find out!  I recorded The Sandman off of the SyFy on October 14th!)

Madison (Shae Smolik) is a little girl who appears to have some issues.

For instance, her father just died under the most mysterious of circumstances.  One of the last things that he did before he died was get paranoid when a police car drove by him.  He was carrying a gun when he died, as well.  Also, he died right in front of Madison.

Madison ends up at the hospital, where she has violent nightmares and struggles so much with the doctors and the orderlies that she has to be strapped down.  Since both of her parents are dead, a call is made to her Aunt Claire (Haylie Duff).  Claire is willing to adopt Madison but Child Protective Services is a bit less enthusiastic.  Claire is unmarried and hasn’t always been the most responsible adult.  She currently works as a photographer, taking pictures of aspiring Bettie Pages in her garage.  Can Claire not only prove herself to be a good mother but also solve the mystery of what happened to Madison’s father?

You probably read that plot description and thought to yourself, “That sounds like a typical Lifetime film.”  And certainly, there is a bit of Lifetime to be found in this SyFy movie.  Peter Sullivan has produced, written, and directed several films that have appeared on both SyFy and Lifetime.  Haylie Duff is a regular Lifetime actress.  For a financially struggling photographer, Claire certainly does live in a nice, big house, which is one of the most familiar signs that you might be watching Lifetime film.

However, make no doubt about it, this is definitely not a Lifetime film.

You see, the reason why Madison is a nightmare to deal with it is because she’s linked to a monster.  The reason why Madison is an orphan is because the monster killed her father.  And now that Madison is living with Claire, the monster is coming for both of them.

And what a monster!  Seriously, the Sandman is about as frightening as a SyFy monster can get.  As you can probably guess from the name, he’s made of sand. The best way to avoid him, of course, would be to go some place where there is no sand but good luck with that.  SAND IS EVERYWHERE!  The Sandman pops up whenever Madison is in danger.

Nosy neighbor wants to know about Madison’s father?  Here comes the Sandman, pouring in through the kitchen faucet!

Hospital doctor planning on recommending that Madison be institutionalized?  Sandman!

In fact, anyone who poses a threat to Madison, whether real or perceived, can expect a visit from the Sandman.

Tobin Bell plays Valentine, a government agent who thinks that Madison could be weaponized.  He’s probably right but seriously, everyone should know better than to mess with the Sandman.  That said, it’s always fun when Tobin Bell is in one of these movies.  He’s just such a good villain.

The Sandman was a good mix of Lifetime family melodrama and SyFy horror.  As the aunt and the seriously disturbed niece, Haylie Duff and Shae Smolik were believable and sympathetic and the Sandman made for a memorable monster.  Watch this movie the next time you’re planning on spending a weekend at the beach.

Get Your Motor Runnin’ with THE WILD ANGELS (AIP 1966)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

Roger Corman  kicked off the outlaw biker film genre with THE WILD ANGELS, setting the template for all biker flicks to come. Sure, there had been motorcycle movies before: Marlon Brando in THE WILD ONE and the low-budget MOTORCYCLE GANG spring to mind. But THE WILD ANGELS busted open box offices on the Grindhouse and Drive-In circuits, and soon an army of outlaw bikers roared into a theater near you! There was BORN LOSERS , DEVIL’S ANGELS, THE GLORY STOMPERS , REBEL ROUSERS, ANGELS FROM HELL, and dozens more straight into the mid-70’s, when the cycle cycle revved its last rev. But Corman’s saga of the freewheeling Angels  was there first; as always, Rapid Roger was the leader of the pack.

Our movie begins with the classic fuzz-tone guitar sound of Davie Allen, as Angels president Heavenly Blues (Peter Fonda ) rolls down the road to pick up club…

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Cleaning Out The DVR: Neverknock (dir by Sheldon Wilson)


(Hi there!  So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR.  Seriously, I currently have 190 things recorded!  I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not.  So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR!  Will I make it?  Keep checking this site to find out!  I recorded NeverKnock off of the SyFy on October 16th!)

Sitting in a small town, there’s a deserted and dilapidated house.  The address is 59 Oakwood Lane.  In 1986, three teenagers were found dead in the house.  Carved in their backs were three words: “Never never knock.”  Forty years later, the murders remain unsolved but everyone has heard the legend.  If you knock on the door, the Never Knock Creature comes to life and uses your own fears to kill not only you but also all of your friends…

Okay, I know what you’re thinking.  “Easy solution to this problem!  Don’t knock on the freaking door!”

But let’s be honest here.  If I lived in that town, I probably wouldn’t knock on that door but I’d sure as Hell beg all of my friends to do it.  After all, who wouldn’t want to see what would happen?  When I was in college, there was a legend that one of the hallways of my dorm was haunted by Wicked Wanda.  They said Wicked Wanda could kill you but I still begged my roommate to go look for her.  Urban legends are like wet paint signs.  You have to encourage people you know to test them.

Needless to say, that is what happens in Neverknock.  Grace (Dominque Provost-Chalkley) is the new girl in town.  She’s still struggling to recover from a personal tragedy.  Her best friend, Leah (Jodelle Ferland), invites her to spend Halloween night with her and her friends.  Grace agrees but she makes the mistake of bringing along her bratty younger sister, Jenna (Lola Flanery).  Jenna dresses up like the devil for Halloween and she soon proves that it’s not a totally inappropriate costume by knocking on the door to 59 Oakwood Lane.  The Never Knock Creature comes to life, Jenna promptly disappears, and Leah, Grace, and all their friends find themselves being stalked by a creature that uses their worst fears to kill them.

(So, if the Never Knock Creature came after me, I’d have to worry about heights, drowning, dogs, fire, deserted barns, dead wasps lying unseen in the carpet, odd numbers, and the wire popping out of my favorite bra and stabbing me.  Good to know.)

Anyway, I liked Neverknock.  As is typical of Sheldon Wilson’s SyFy film, Neverknock has a ton of atmosphere and the pace never lags.  Wilson changes things up a little in this movie by having the fright scenes occur during both the day and the night.  For some reason, to me, it’s even scarier when someone gets attacked by an evil creature during the middle of the day.  Even with the sun out and hundreds of people around, there’s no escape from the Never Knock Creature.  Admittedly, Neverknock‘s characters are not exactly the most complex group of people to show up in a horror film.  For the most part, they’re just teenagers who don’t understand that importance to staying together in one group while being stalked by a demonic force.  But the cast is made up of appealing performers and veteran actor Nicholas Campbell makes a welcome appearance.  You don’t want to see any of them die and that’s really all that a movie like this demands.

And finally, the Never Knock Creature is seriously creepy!  When he first responds to Jenna knocking on that door … AGCK!

All in all, this was a good SyFy horror film.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Stickman (dir by Sheldon Wilson)


(Hi there!  So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR.  Seriously, I currently have 191 things recorded!  I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not.  So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR!  Will I make it?  Keep checking this site to find out!  I recorded Stickman off of the SyFy on October 21st!)

When she was seven years old, Emma (Hayley Law) was accused of two terrible crimes.

The authorities say that Emma murdered both her sister and her mother.  She’s spent the last ten years in an institution, haunted by nightmares of the demonic monster that she claims committed the murders.  According to Emma, the Stickman comes for you if you make the mistake of reading a poem aloud.  The only way to keep the Stickman at bay is to draw a picture of him every night.  Of course, no one believes Emma.  At the institution, she has to regularly deal with smug doctors who refuse to accept that she’s being stalked by an unstoppable monster.  Obviously, they’ve never watched It Follows or that HBO documentary about Slenderman.

When 17 year-old Emma is finally released from the institution, she is sent to a half-way house where she is to live with 5 other girls.  They’ve all committed different crimes.  One of them is an arsonist.  Another one has a paranoid obsession with the dark web.  Emma’s the only one to have been accused of murder.  Even though Emma is assured that, as far as the other girls are concerned, “their bark is worse than their bite,” she soon finds herself targeted by Liv (Zoe De Grand Maison).  Not only does Liv refuses to believe in Stickman but she also doesn’t want to live with a murderer.

(I have to admit that sounds kinda reasonable to me.)

Anyway, as you can probably guess, that poem gets read again.  And, on her first night of half-way house living, Emma has a nightmare about the Stickman.  However, this time, Stickman doesn’t just stay in her dreams.  Instead, Stickmsn shows up in the real world and starts killing people.  Emma thinks that she can find a way to stop Stickman if she returns to the hospital.  Liv, meanwhile, remains convinced that Stickman is a myth and somehow, Emma is responsible for it all…

Stickman was aired as a part of SyFy’s 31 Days of Halloween.  I really wish that SyFy would show more original films.  Years ago, they used to show a new movie every weekend.  Now, we only get original movies during Shark Week and October.  (And, this October, SyFy devoted one weekend time slot to Jeepers Creepers 3, directed by convicted and admitted pedophile, Victor Salva.  Seriously, what the Hell was up with that?)  Original SyFy films, like Stickman, are always fun to watch and live tweet so it really does seem, to me, that SyFy is missing an opportunity by not showing more of them.

Anyway, I enjoyed Stickman.  Sheldon Wilson has directed several SyFy films and he obviously know how to create and maintain a properly ominous atmosphere.  Stickman is full of dark shadows and sudden jump scares and, even if he is a bit of a familiar monster, the Stickman is genuinely creepy.  Though none of the characters are particularly complex, everyone goes a good job making enough of an impression that you can keep everyone straight.  If I really wanted to, I could probably devote another 500 words to picking apart the plot and citing every logical inconsistency but you know what?  That would be totally missing the point.  This is a horror movie.  It doesn’t have to always make sense, it just has to be entertaining.  In the end, Stickman was a fun movie for Halloween.  I wish SyFy would make more like it.

4 Shots From 4 Films Inspired By Isaac Asimov: A halhatatlanság halála, Konets vechnosti, Nightfall, Robots


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

The great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov was never certain when he was born but he chose to celebrate January 2nd, 1920 as his birthday.  If Asimov were still with us, he might be 98 years old today.

These 4 shots were all taken from films that were based, however loosely, on Asimov’s writings.

4 Shots From 4 Films

A halhatatlanság halála (1976, directed by András Rajnai)

Konets vechnosti (1987, directed by Andrei Yermash)

Nightfall (1988, directed by Paul Mayersberg)

Robots (1988, directed Doug Smith and Kim Takal)

 

 

25 Best, Worst, and Gems I Saw In 2017


I am not back yet. Health issues aside, I have been having major computer issues for more than a month now that are going to make regular posts out of the question. Also, my mom passed away suddenly two weeks before Christmas. Things aren’t so good here at the moment. However, I did watch over 1,100 movies in 2017, so I figured my requisite end of the year post was something I should do no matter how lean it may be because I can’t really take screenshots and lost the ones I took during the year.

The same rules as last year still apply:

  1. There is no particular order to the films in these lists. They either made it, or not.
  2. These are not necessarily films that came out in 2017. In fact, none did–darn Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back at the Return Of The Jedi being decent, if still a mess. These are films that I saw for the first time in 2017.
  3. The gems list are films that don’t make the best list, but I want to put a spotlight on them.
  4. If you disagree with any of my choices. Good! I want people to form their own opinions and think for themselves. But if you care to share those opinions, then be nice about it, or you won’t receive a response from me.

Barbara Broadcast (1977, dir. Radley Metzger)

Best:

  1. The Telephone Book (1971)
  2. At Berkeley (2013)
  3. Samurai Cop (1991)
  4. Vampire’s Kiss (1988)
  5. The Beguiled (1971)
  6. Fire In The Sky (1993)
  7. And The Band Played On (1993)
  8. Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980)
  9. StageFright (1987)
  10. Deadpool (2016)
  11. The Hit Girl (2013)
  12. A Simple Life (2011)
  13. 45 Years (2015)
  14. Barbara Broadcast (1977)
  15.  3 A.M. (1975)
  16. Magnum Force (1973)
  17. The Mechanic (1972)
  18. Romancing The Stone (1984)
  19. Censored Voices (2015)
  20. Marshland (2014)
  21. Nostalgia For The Light (2010)
  22. Stir Of Echoes (1999)
  23. Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
  24. Malcolm (1986)
  25. The Forbidden Room (2015)
Poster for Roar (1981)

Poster for Roar (1981)

Except for that one lion that you can see someone kick in the face a couple of times. Otherwise, this movie that portrays lions as slasher movie villains was totally humane to animals. It’s right about the actors.

Speaking of Melanie Griffith, she would end up having some of her most memorable lines from Working Girl (1988) lifted to be in Fifty Shades Darker (2017).

From Working Girl:

New Secretary: Maybe now would be a good time to go over what you expect of me.
Tess: I, uh, I expect you to call me Tess. I don’t expect you fetch me coffee unless you’re getting some for yourself, and um…the rest we’ll just make up as we go along.

From Fifty Shades Darker:

New “Secretary”: I mean, am-am I expected to call you Miss Steele?
Anastasia: I expect you to call me Ana. And I don’t expect you to fetch me coffee unless you’re getting some for yourself. And…the rest of it, we’ll just make up as we go along.

Worst:

  1. The Letters (2014)
  2. Emmanuelle In Rio (2003)
  3. Bat Pussy (1973)
  4. Lethal Games (1991)
  5. Sunburst (1975)
  6. Roar (1981)
  7. Knock Knock (2015)
  8. I Am Here… Now (2009)
  9. Cabin Fever (2002) & Cabin Fever (2016) — They can share a spot.
  10. Fantasies (1981)
  11. Lady In The Water (2006)
  12. Dreamcatcher (2003)
  13. Adult Entertainment: Disrobing An American Idol (2007)
  14. All the Paul W.S. Anderson/Milla Jovovich Resident Evil movies — They can also share a single spot.
  15. Hillary’s America: The Secret History Of The Democratic Party (2016)
  16. Jem And The Holograms (2015)
  17. The 5th Wave (2016)
  18. Split (2016) — The one directed by Jamie Buckner.
  19. Stir Of Echoes: The Homecoming (2007)
  20. The Tomb (2009)
  21. Different Strokes (1998)
  22. Deadly Spygames (1989)
  23. Incoming Freshman (1979) — The Cannon re-edit of the film. I couldn’t find a copy of the original version.
  24. White Fury (1990)
  25. The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1996) — The Golden Films version under the banner of “Enchanted Tales.” You know, the one about talking musical instruments with a few minutes of a guy who walks around hunched over with hair in his face that stands up straight and brushes his hair out of the way to solve his problems at the end. That one.
VHS Cover for Shark's Paradise (1986)

VHS Cover for Shark’s Paradise (1986)

And that force is a group of Australian actors doing their best to start a Miami Vice-like show with a TV Movie about chasing after someone that is using sharks to kill people.

Gems:

  1. The Subspecies series — The entire series is fun. Pro tip: You don’t have to watch Vampire Journals (1997) to see the 4th film.
  2. Future Hunters (1986)
  3. Hercules In The Haunted World (1961)
  4. Laser Mission (1989)
  5. Warriors Of The Wasteland (1983)
  6. Shark’s Paradise (1986)
  7. Deadly Friend (1986)
  8. The Witchcraft series — All of them. From the birth of William in the really boring first film to the meta 16th film, they are all worth seeing if you enjoy bad movies. Some of them are much worse than others, but I had a really good time with these movies, and I hope they make more of them.
  9. Zombi 3 (1988)
  10. Queens Of Evil (1970)
  11. Killdozer (1974)
  12. Café Flesh (1982) or Café Flesh (1986) as it is now listed on IMDb
  13. Old Enough (1984)
  14. The Hunted (1995)
  15. Outland (1981)
  16. Technology/Transformation Wonder Woman (1978/9)
  17. Enter The Ninja (1981)
  18. Coming Home (2014)
  19. The House By The Cemetery (1981)
  20. Short Term 12 (2013)
  21. My Dog Tulip (2009)
  22. Pledge Sister (1973) — This one made the list purely on the grounds of its soundtrack, which includes everything from Gregorian Chants to directly lifting Sunshine Superman by Donovan. And they use it better than Pan (2015) did Smells Like Teen Spirit or Vacation (2015) did Without You. I hope that whoever put the soundtrack together for this otherwise anonymous 70’s adult film went on to do work in mainstream cinema.
  23. A Thief In The Night (1972)
  24. East Side Sushi (2014)
  25. Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2003)

House of Salem Movie preview and Review


Ok…… get this out of your system first…. Will you come out and play? I’ll answer that question later!*

 

Plot:

A group of kidnappers become a child’s unlikely protectors after discovering they have unwittingly been set up to take part in a satanic ritual. As they begin to uncover the truth of the house they find themselves trapped, they must battle demonic forces and uncover a legacy of over a hundred years of murder in the name of the Dev

 

Review:

I am not going to argue, I love Wild Eye Releasing  movies! And whenever I get a screener I really miss the days when us #SnarkAlecs would just sit back and watch a good Sci-Fi movie! And this is one of the movies I would be proud to be associated with!

This movie is awesome in the perfect way!

Would I recommend this movie?

Nope…Unless you just want a fun, snarkable movie! Then, YES!

Take your chances and look at the trailer now!

 

*Admit it… You want to come out and play Now!

House Of Salem will be available on January 23, 2018 on all your VOD devices!

Driving While Black: Movie review/ preview


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Preview:

“Based on the real life experiences of writer and lead actor Dominique Purdy, this arresting new comedy explores Purdy’s real life experiences growing up as a person of color in LA and his run ins with police.

With 32 film festival wins to date, and an ever-increasing online fanbase, Driving While Black is shaping up to be one of the most anticipated comedy releases of 2018.

Dmitri is a pizza guy who would rather smoke weed and suffer for his art, but his mom and his girl won’t stop nagging him to get a real job. When he’s offered a gig mouthing off to tourists behind the wheel of a Hollywood “star tour” bus, it looks like everyone might get what they want. Trouble is, our man can’t seem to step out the door to get to the interview without endless complications: busted radiators, simple weed scores gone sideways and LAPD cruisers seemingly everywhere. Dmitri’s skill at going unnoticed by cops is honed by painful experiences growing up Black in L.A., but even his keen survival instincts won’t save him from the week from hell.

With a jovial swagger to its walking pace, Driving While Black is half comedy of errors and half hard-bitten realism, tucked into a sly treatise on 21st-century over-policing.”

 

Review:

I didn’t laugh, I didn’t cry…. but anybody that watches it will! The way Dmitri tells his story is so captivating, compelling, and funny at the same time is amazing! I went into this movie thinking it was a comedy, after watching I realized that is life. I got drawn in, literally hooked while watching!

Would I recommend this movie?

Yeah, drop your dollars as soon as you can! I mean as fast as you can see this movie! Do it!

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Trailer:

If you want to get a glimpse of this great movie before you drop your dollars you can here!

 

Driving While Black will be in theaters February 1st and I highly recommend you seeing it!

A Movie A Day #356: The Delta Force (1986, directed by Menahem Golan)


Last year, at this time, I set a goal for myself.

I decided that, in 2017, I would review a movie a day and I nearly succeeded. I didn’t review a movie on the day Chris Cornell died.  I missed a few days in March due to a sinus infection.  Including the review that I’m posting below, I reviewed 356 movies in 2017.  According to the year-end stats, my most popular reviews were for Heavy Metal Parking Lot, Slaughter, Body Chemistry 3, Body Chemistry 4, and Beatlemania.

Since tomorrow will be the start of a new year, this is going to be the end of my A Movie A Day experiment.  In 2018, I’ll still be watching movies and posting reviews on this site but this is my final daily review.  For my final Movie A Day, I picked the greatest movie of all time, The Delta Force!

Produced by Cannon Films, The Delta Force starts in 1980, with a helicopter exploding in the desert.  America’s elite special missions force has been sent to Iran to rescue the men and women being held hostage in the embassy.  The mission is a disaster with the members of Delta Force barely escaping with their lives.  Captain Chuck Norris tells his commanding officer, Col. Lee Marvin, that he’s finished with letting cowardly politicians control their missions.  Chuck heads to Montana while Lee spends the next few years hitting on the bartender at his local watering hole.

In 1985, terrorists led by Robert Forster hijack an airplane and divert it to Beirut.  Among those being held hostage: Martin Balsam, Shelley Winters, Lainie Kazan, Susan Strasberg, Kim Delaney, and Bo Svenson.  The great George Kennedy plays a priest named O’Malley who, when the Jewish passengers are moved to a separate location, declares himself to be Jewish and demands to be taken too.  Jerry Lazarus is a hostage who spends the movie holding a Cabbage Patch doll that his daughter gave him for luck.  Former rat packer Joey Bishop plays a passenger who says, “Beirut was beautiful then.  Beautiful.”  Fassbinder favorite Hanna Schygulla is the stewardess who refuses to help the terrorists because, “I am German!”

In America, General Robert Vaughn activates The Delta Force to rescue the hostages and take out the terrorists.  As Lee Marvin prepares everyone (including Cannon favorite, Steve James and, in a nonspeaking role, Liam Neeson) to leave, the big question is whether Chuck Norris will come out of retirement for the mission.  Of course, he does.  Even better, he brings his motorcycle with him.

Anyone who has ever seen The Delta Force remembers Chuck’s motorcycle.  Not only did it look incredibly cool but it was also mounted with machine guns and it could fire missiles at cowardly terrorists.  It didn’t matter whether you agreed with the film’s politics were or whether you even liked the movie, everyone who watched The Delta Force wanted Chuck’s motorcycle.  As the old saying goes, “You may be cool but you’ll never be Chuck Norris firing a missile from a motorcycle cool.”

The Delta Force is really three different films.  One film, shot in the style of a disaster film, is about the hostages on the plane and their evil captors.  The second film is Lee Marvin (in his final movie role) preparing his men to storm the airplane.  The third movie is Chuck Norris chasing Robert Forster on his motorcycle.  Put those three movies together and you have the ultimate Cannon movie.  The Delta Force was even directed by Cannon’s head honcho, Menahem Golan.  (Years earlier, Golan also directed Operation Thunderbolt, an Israeli film about the raid on Entebbe, which features more than a few similarities to The Delta Force.  Golan received his first and only Oscar nomination when Operation Thunderbolt was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film.)

The Delta Force is also the ultimate 80s movie.  It opens with the Carter administration fucking everything up and it ends with the Reagan administration giving Lee Marvin and Chuck Norris the greenlight to blow up some terrorists.  There is not much nuance to be found in The Delta Force but it still feels good to watch Chuck beat the bad guys.  Top that off with a shameless score from Alan Silvestri and you have one of the greatest action movies of all time.

At the end of The Delta Force, as cans of Budweiser are being passed out to rescued hostages, an extra is clearly heard to shout, “Beer!  America!”  Then everyone sings America The Beautiful.

That says it all.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #172: Web Cam Girls (dir by Doug Campbell)


Last night, I watched one of the final Lifetime movies of 2017, Web Cam Girls!

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, the obvious answer is that I was watching it because it was on Lifetime and our regular readers know how much I love Lifetime!

However, from the minute that I saw the first commercial for Web Cam Girls, I grew convinced that it would be better than the average 2017 Lifetime film.  The commercials were just so melodramatic and wonderfully sordid.  If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that the best Lifetime films always seem to be about capitalizing on people’s fear of the dark web.  (Then again, people probably should be scared of the dark web…)

Finally, I knew that I was going to have to review this film just because of the title.  Now, whenever someone does a search for “web cam girls,” there’s a good chance they’ll end up on this site.  They’ll probably get mad once they arrive here but a click is a click.

What Was It About?

Carolyn (Lorynn York) needs money so she becomes a web cam girl.  Her cousin, Alex (Sedona Legge), says it’s a bad and dangerous idea but Carolyn claims that it’s actually the safest way to make money.  She never meets the men who watch her.  All she has to do is undress a little on camera and, pretty soon, she’ll be able to get an apartment in New York and make all of her dreams come true.

But then, one night, Carolyn gives in to temptation to agrees to meet one of her admirers in a sleazy motel.  She promptly vanishes, leaving Alex and their friend Shawn (Liam McKanna) to try to figure out what happened.  Was she kidnapped and, if so, by whom?  There are suspects all around and it’s starting to look like the only way Alex is going to find her is by going on camera herself.

What Worked?

Oh my God, Lifetime really did save the best for last!  After a year that left many longtime Lifetime viewers feeling somewhat disappointed, Lifetime finally gave us the type of movie that made us fall in love with the network in the first place.  Web Cam Girls is wonderfully melodramatic, over the top, and incredibly entertaining.  The houses are beautiful, the villain is perhaps one of the most evil characters to ever appear in a Lifetime film, and the whole thing is full of details that will reward the observant viewer.

For instance, Carolyn, Alex, and Shawn discuss watching Sunrise in film class.  Sunrise, of course, is a film about an innocent who is tempted by the sinful city, much in the same way that Carolyn and Alex are tempted by the sinful internet.  Later, another teacher tells Alex that he was impressed with her essay about H.P. Lovecraft.  References to both Lovecraft and F.W. Murnau in a Lifetime movie?  How can’t you love that?

It was also well-acted.  Stephen Graybill and Joe Hackett were memorable as two sinister teachers.  I liked both Jon Bridell as Carolyn’s drunk but ultimately heroic father and John Dinan as his best friend.  In the role of Carolyn’s mentor, Nikki, Tonya Kay made such a strong impression that a lot of us on twitter were demanding that Nikki get a spin-off film of her own.  Down to the smallest part, everyone made their character interesting.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

When I was in high school, I also used to dress in black and write essays about H.P. Lovecraft.

Lessons Learned

Beware the dark web!