Horror Novel Review: The Boy Next Door by R.L. Stine


Oh my God, a super cute boy has moved in next door! Squee!

Seriously, Scott, the title character of this 1996 YA thriller from R.L. Stine, seems like he could be the perfect neighbor. He’s handsome. We’re told that he’s charming, though you don’t really see much of that in the book. He’s a star football player and, obviously, that’s a very important thing in the world of R.L. Stine. And, perhaps most importantly, Scott’s single! Of course, Scott’s single because he previous kind of girlfriend jumped into a pool that happened to be empty at the time. Scott was the one who encouraged her to do it.

Scott, you see, has some issues. He expects every girl that he meets to live up to an impossible ideal that he’s apparently created from watching old sitcoms from the 1950s. What the means is no makeup, no flirting, and definitely no short skirts! Scott really gets worked up over short skirts, to the extent that he’ll kill anyone who wears one. AGCK!

(If I had been a student at Scott’s high school, I would have been so dead.)

Scott’s new neighbor Crystal and her best friend, Lynne, both think Scott is totally hot and want to date him. Unfortunately, they both wear short skirts and Scott even catches Lynne putting on lipstick. Even if he wasn’t a puritanical incel murderer, Scott would still be creepy because he always seems to be staring through the windows of Crystal’s house. You would think that would be a red flag but …. well, Scott’s a football player and this is an R.L. Stine novel.

Fortunately, Crystal has a sister named Melinda who likes to read books and who doesn’t wear makeup so it seems pretty clear that she’s going to be the secret weapon to stopping Scott. But will it be too late for either Lynne or Crystal?

Scott is revealed to be a killer during the first few pages of this book so I have to admit that, the whole time I was reading it, I was waiting for one of those out-of-nowhere R.L. Stine twists. I was expecting Scott to discover that he was actually suffering from amnesia and that his real name was Jake. I was waiting for someone to reveal themselves to be a ghost. I was thinking, at one point, that it was all a dream. But nope, there’s no twist. This is one of the most straight-forward Stine books that I’ve ever read.

At times, the book felt like one of those weird Lifetime movies where everyone keeps talking about “girl power” and how no one has the right to judge you for behaving and dressing the way you want but, at the same time, you can’t help but notice that it’s always the really independent and fun-loving girls that end up getting killed. The Boy Next Door seems to be all over the place. On the one hand, Scott is a crazy puritan. On the other hand, almost every girl in the book is portrayed as being shallow and easily fooled. I was happy that Scott was presented as being a total monster but couldn’t the girls have been a little less naïve? Couldn’t they have at least acknowledged that Scott’s behavior was pretty creepy even before he turned out to be a killer? It doesn’t help that the plotting throughout the book feels rather random. There’s a lot of convenient coincidences, including one that happens during the climax. Chekhov wrote that, if you introduce a gun at the start of the story, it must be fired by the end of the story. One gets the feeling that Stine would be the type to forget to introduce the gun but still have someone fire it. One also gets the feeling that Stine may have been in a hurry when he wrote The Boy Next Door.

(Don’t worry, though. you’re still loved, R.L! Thank you for Fear Street!)

Anyway, the lesson here is that if the boy next door flies into a rage every time you put on lipstick, you don’t need him in your life! Even if he does play football….

Book Review: Spaghetti Nightmares, edited by Luca M. Palmerini and Gaetano Mistretta


Do you love Italian horror?

If you answered yes, Spaghetti Nightmares is a book that you simply must own.  Actually, you probably already do own it.  You’re probably looking at it sitting on your book shelf right now.  And you’re thinking, “Gee, thanks Lisa.  Maybe next you’ll tell me that giallo is named after the cheap yellow paper that thriller novels were published on in Italy and then you’ll really blow my mind!”

Okay, well fine.  Make me feel bad.  That’s okay.  I hope you’re proud of yourself.  It’s a pretty good thing that we both love Italian horror because, if we didn’t, I’d probably never speak to you again….

Anyway, just in case you don’t own this book, you really should.  First published in 1996, Spaghetti Nightmares is a collection of interviews with some of the top figures in Italian horror.  Michele Soavi, Dario Argento, Ruggero Deodato, David Warbeck, Umberto Lenzi, Lamberto Bava, Luigi Cozzi. Antonio Margheriti, and many more answer questions about their careers, their artistic visions, and their feelings about the future and the past of the Italian film industry.  What makes this volume special is that it was written at a time when Italian horror was just starting to be appreciated.  So, the questions and the answers are a bit more honest than they probably would be now that everyone is a confirmed Italian horror fan.

This book also features what I believe was Lucio Fulci’s final interview before he passed away.  He describes himself as being Italian cinema’s “last zombie” and displays a strong knowledge of cinematic history.  Unlike some of the directors interviewed, who come across as being competent (if charming) craftsmen, Fulci comes across as being a true artist.  The interview with Michele Soavi is also poignant as he would soon abandon filmmaking to take care of his son.  (Fortunately, he has since returned.)

So, if you don’t own this book, get it!

Book Review: The Mind Reader by R.L. Stine


In this YA thriller from 1994, R.L. Stine tells the story of Ellie. Ellie and her father have just moved back to Shadyside after being gone for 14 years. Ellie was only two when they left town due to the trauma of her mother’s death. Though Ellie doesn’t remember, her father says that her mom died of appendicitis.

Her father’s not totally happy about returning to Shadyside but Ellie could really use a change of pace. Ellie recently broke up with her boyfriend because she discovered that he was cheating on her. How did she discover this? She has psychic powers, of course! It’s interesting how anyone who leaves Shadyside and then returns a few years later manages to develop psychic powers. It turns out that Ellie’s psychic powers aren’t just helpful when it comes to busting cheating boyfriends! They’re also good for discovering the dead body of Melinda, her best friend’s sister! And, not only that, but Ellie’s powers also offer up some clues about what really happened to her mother! Ellie has some mysteries to solve, whether she wants to or not. Who killed Melinda? What happened to her mother? And why is that cute but weird guy Brian stalking her?

The Mind Reader actually tells a pretty sad story. Every family in this book has some deep, terrible secret and it’s almost entirely due to terrible parenting. This is one of the few Stine books that left me worried as to just how the main character was going to be able to go on with her life after experiencing all of this. Still, I had to respect the fact that Stine stayed true to the book’s premise. There was no sudden amnesia. It didn’t turn out to be a dream. Ellie had psychic powers and they told her a lot of really big things at the worst possible time. That’s the way psychic powers work on Fear Street.

Anyway, I enjoyed The Mind Reader. It’s a quick read and some of Ellie’s vision are really macabre! I’m glad I’m not psychic.

Book Review: True Indie: Life and Death in Filmmaking by Don Coscarelli


Don Coscarelli just might be the nicest guy to ever make a horror movie.

Okay, obviously, I don’t know that for sure. A lot of people make horror movies and a lot of them are actually pretty nice and I don’t want to short change anyone. Still, if you read his 2018 memoir True Indie, the main impression that you come away with is that Don Coscarelli is a nice, down-to-Earth guy who truly loves to make movies.

In the book, Coscarelli tells how he went from making making his first two films when he was still a teenager to directing Phantasm, an indie film that was a surprise hit and ensured that Don Coscarelli would be forever beloved by horror fans everywhere. Not only does he discuss how he came up with the film but he also discusses what it was like to work with people like Angus Scrimm and Reggie Bannister. He follows-up by discussing the production of Beastmaster, which was considerably more troubled than the production of Phantasm. (At one point, Beastmaster star Marc Singer throws a tantrum because he feels that Coscarelli has “abandoned” him on location.) From Beastmaster, it’s back to doing sequels to Phantasm, some of which are better than others and some of which, sad to say, are screwed by the executives. Some of the book’s best parts are when Coscarelli discusses what he had to put up with while dealing with studio execs who didn’t necessarily understand what Phantasm or horror in general was all about. Seriously, you think as you read those passages, just let Don and Reggie do whatever they want! Eventually, Coscarelli directs Bubba Ho-Tep and gets to work with Bruce Campbell, which is definitely a happy ending.

True Indie is a likable book. Coscarelli is an entertaining storyteller and his love of movies is obvious on every single page of the book. He comes across as the ideal indie director, a passionate artist who simply wants to entertain his audience while staying true to his vision. It’s an inspiring book, to be honest. You read it and you’re happy that Don Coscarelli is still out there and that he’s still doing it his way.

Horror Novel Review: The Dead Lifeguard by R.L. Stine


Some people stand in the darkness

Afraid to come into the light

Some people need to help somebody

When the edge of surrender’s in sight

Yes, dear readers, I will admit that I did start singing the Baywatch theme song as I read R.L. Stine’s 1994 YA novel, The Dead Lifeguard. Some of that is because that’s my natural response to anything involving lifeguards or the beach. But a lot of that is also because this novel has a plot that could have come straight from Baywatch Nights. We just needed David Hasselhoff to show up and start investigating stuff.

Basically, it’s the summer! Yay! Lindsay is looking forward to working as a lifeguard! Yay! The other lifeguards are a collection of typical lifeguard and R.L. Stine types. You got the sensitive, athletic boy. You’ve got the girls who alternate between being supportive and jealous. You’ve even got a dumb jock type who is named Pug. Would you want your life saved by someone named Pug?

Unfortunately, someone is killing the lifeguards! This doesn’t lead to summer being canceled or anything like that, of course. People in R.L. Stine books are surprisingly nonchalant about teenagers dying under mysterious circumstances. But it does lead to the mystery of who the killer is. Because some of the chapters are written from the killer’s point of view, we know that the killer calls themselves Mouse. And they’re committing their murders to get revenge for the passing of someone named Terry.

Meanwhile, Lindsay tries to figure out who is killing the lifeguards and what mystery is hiding in the past. (Of course, there’s a mystery in the past. It’s a Stine book, after all.) However, Lindsay’s investigation leads to the discovery that she died a year ago! OH MY GOD! IS LINDSAY A GHOST!? Or is there something else happening?

This was a fun Stine book. There were a lot of twists and turns, not to mention weird scenes of Mouse talking to Terry. One of my favorite parts of the book involves Mouse explaining that they are running behind on killing everyone because working as a lifeguard just takes up so much time. That was a clever moment of Stine humor. I also enjoyed the mystery of whether or not Lindsay was a ghost. I kind of guessed how things were going to turn out because …. well, it’s an R.L. Stine book. But still, The Dead Lifeguard was definitely an entertaining read.

Don’t your worry

It’s gonna be alright….

Book Review: Brat: An 80s Story by Andrew McCarthy


On Tuesday, I read Brat, the new memoir from actor Andrew McCarthy.

Though McCarthy is, today, a busy travel writer, he was a movie star in the 80s, staring in a handful of film that are still popular and being discovered by new audiences today. He starred opposite Molly Ringwald in Pretty In Pink and anyone who says that Molly should have ended up with Jon Cryer instead of Andrew McCarthy is a liar. He was a part of the ensemble of St. Elmo’s Fire. He starred in the film adaptation of Less than Zero. He spent a Weekend at Bernie’s. And, of course, he was labeled as being a member of the Brat Pack.

Brat pretty much centers on McCarthy’s life in the 80s, going from his time in acting school to his first starring role in Class to his decision to star in the critically-derided but still surprisingly popular Weekend at Bernie’s. It’s a quick but honest read and McCarthy emerges as someone who was somehow cocky enough to know that he could be star but also so insecure that, once he became a star, he wasn’t really capable of enjoying it. Reading the book, one gets the feeling that McCarthy spent the 80s feeling as if things had come too easily for him. He landed the starring role in the first film for which he ever auditioned. He starred opposite Molly Ringwald at a time when she was a superstar. And, yet, he was miserable for much of the time, a victim of his own nagging anxiety. He dealt with his insecurity by drinking and eventually, though the book doesn’t go into too much detail about it, using cocaine. He mentions that he never worked while on coke until he ended up on the miserable set of Less than Zero, which is one of the most heavy-handed anti-drug films ever made.

Brat is a good read. McCarthy is an engaging writer and he writes about the past with a refreshing lack of bitterness. In fact, the only thing he seems to be truly upset about is the fact that he got tarred with the Brat Pack label and he has every right to be upset that. As McCarthy points out, the Brat Pack label came about as the result of an article that detailed a night out with Rob Lowe, Judd Nelson, and Emilio Estevez. McCarthy wasn’t even present that night. He was only mentioned once in the article, when one of the three said that they felt McCarthy wasn’t going to make it because he always played his roles with “the same intensity.” McCarthy’s feelings were hurt, especially since the article didn’t specify which of the three said it. (One gets the feeling that Emilio Estevez — who, in every chronicle of the Brat Pack era, comes across as being the most judgmental, entitled, and pompous member of the group — was probably the guilty party.) But yet, because McCarthy appeared in St. Elmo’s Fire and in Pretty in Pink, he was tarred with the label and it was pretty much the beginning of the end of his stardom. He mentions that, years later, Emilio Estevez refused to do a movie if McCarthy was cast, specifically because he didn’t want the movie to be a “brat pack” film. Again, Emilio comes across as being a bit of a prick.

With a few exceptions, McCarthy is generous when discussing most of his co-stars. He liked working with Rob Lowe, Ally Sheedy, and Jacqueline Bissett. He writes that he and Molly Ringwald were never quite as close as those of us who love Pretty in Pink like to think. He says that he and Jon Cryer did not get along in the 80s but that they’ve since become friends. That was nice to read. He writes about watching Robert Downey, Jr. go crazy one night. (In Downey’s defense, he was ordered to do so by the director of Less than Zero as an exercise to help McCarthy get into character. Unfortunately, no one bothered to let McCarthy know what was going on.) He writes ruefully about a date with Elisabeth Shue. Judging from his memoir, McCarthy met and impressed a lot of people but he rarely felt like he was good enough to be a part of their lives. It’s kind of sad. Sometimes, Andrew McCarthy comes across as being so vulnerable that you just want to reach out and hug him.

Fortunately, this is a survivor’s memoir. McCarthy survived the 80s and he’s still around, working and continuing to touch the heart of anyone who comes across Pretty in Pink. He sounds like he’s in a better place now than he was at the time of his biggest film successes. Brat is a good and honest memoir and a must-read for anyone who loves the films of the 80s.

Horror Book Review: Switched by R.L. Stine


Oh hell yeah!

Dear readers, I present to you perhaps the greatest book ever written by the one and only R.L. Stine!

Now, I’m not going to spoil too much of this plot because, seriously, this book is crazy. Once the plot twists start, they never stop. Once the first two dead bodies show up, it’s a nonstop parade of bloody corpses. People don’t just die in this book. They get their heads ripped off and then they sometimes show up alive a few pages later. That’s the type of book this is. First published back in 1996, Switched is like the ultimate Fear Street book.

Basically, Nicole is having a really bad day. Her parents are being totally overprotective. Her boyfriend wants to dump her because he says that she’s too much too handle, even though Nicole can’t imagine what he means by that. (Don’t worry, Nicole! I’ve been there!) She didn’t do her class project because she just didn’t feel like it. Nicole’s obviously suffering from a case of terrible ennui.

However, her friend Lucy has a solution! Lucy says that there’s a wall near the cemetery and basically, all you have to do is climb the wall with someone else and then jump off the wall while holding that person’s hand and then — BOOM! — it’s body switch time! Lucy says that they can switch bodies and Nicole can get a chance to live Lucy’s perfect life and maybe make out with Lucy’s boyfriend. Nicole says sure!

So, they jump off the wall and, quicker than you can say Freaky Friday, it works! Unfortunately, no sooner has the body switch occurred than Nicole starts to find dead bodies all over the place! Could Lucy be killing them while using Nicole’s body!? Or is something even stranger happening?

Seriously, this book is a lot of fun. Not only do you get the totally insane body switch plot and a lot of gore and impure thoughts but you also get nonstop twists. And, as opposed to certain other Stine books, the twists all make a strange sort of sense in Switched! I won’t say much else about Switched because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but, if you ever feel the need to prove that R.L. Stine could tell a good story and keep the reader guessing, Switched is the book to go with!

Book Review: The Legend of the Planet of the Apes: Or How Hollywood Turned Darwin Upside Down by Brian Pendreigh


Recently, while going through all the books that I’ve collected over the years, I came across a copy of The Legend of Planet of the Apes: Or How Hollywood Turned Darwin Upside Down.  It’s a book by a Scottish film critic named Brian Pendreigh and it takes a look at the Planet of the Apes film franchise, from the 1968 original all the way to Tim Burton’s now-forgotten remake.  Though I couldn’t find a copyright date in the book, it was obviously written long before the Planet of the Apes franchise was rebooted and sent in an entirely new direction by 2011’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

That’s okay, though.  The three recent Planet of the Apes films all had moments of brilliance and Andy Serkis probably deserved an Oscar nomination for his performances in all three of them but they have also tended to overshadow the original Planet of the Apes and its sequels and, as this book points out, the first 5 films were actually pretty good.  (Okay, okay — Battle of the Planet of the Apes isn’t great, even if it is entertaining.  But I defy you not to cry at the end of Escape From The Planet of the ApesBeneath the Planet of the Apes is wonderfully subversive with its abrupt and nihilistic ending.  Conquest of the Battle of the Apes is probably even more relevant today than it was in the 70s.)  While the majority of Pendreigh’s book focuses on the production of the original Planet of the Apes, he writes enough about both its sequels and the short-lived Planet of the Apes television show to make a convincing argument that the original franchise itself deserves to be held in higher regard than it often is.

It’s a good book, though I do wish Pendreigh had been a little bit less obvious in his loathing of Charlton Heston.  Certain writers will never forgive Heston for not being a liberal.  Heston, of course, was hardly the only Republican to be a star during the 50s and the 60s.  John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Gary Cooper, James Cagney (from the 50s onward), Robert Mitchum, and many others leaned to the right.  However, John Wayne, Gary Coper, Robert Mitchum, and even Jimmy Stewart were largely associated with westerns and war films, two genres that were already considered to be thematically conservative.  Heston, on the other hand, appeared in left-wing dystopian sci-films like Soylent Green, The Omega Man, and Planet of the Apes.  While other Hollywood conservatives were supporting the blacklist, Heston fought to get Orson Welles hired to direct Touch of Evil.  He appeared in film that were critical of capitalism and blind patriotism and fanatical militarism.  He did everything that a left-wing actor was supposed to do but he did it while voting Republican and a lot of film writers will never forgive him for it.  As a result, people far too often tend to act as if Heston’s films were good despite Heston when, in all actuality, Heston’s macho persona and his willingness to subvert it (or at the very least, his willingness to allow his directors to subvert it) is what made so many of his film memorable and important in the first place.  One reason why the endings of both Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes continue to resonate after all these years is because they featured Charlton Heston, rendered helpless and driven mad.

Admittedly, when it comes to dismissing Heston, Pendreigh is not as bad as some.  He acknowledges the importance of Heston’s performance to the success of the original Planet of the Apes.  And yet, he can’t resist complaining about Heston’s later political activities or his admittedly pompous view of himself.  Anytime an actor is quoted as saying something good about Heston, Pendreigh is sure to also include a quote from someone saying something negative.  It’s a distraction that takes away from discussing the films.  One gets the feeling that the author was deeply troubled by the fact that praising Planet of the Apes would require him to also offer up some praise for the film’s star.

But …. no matter!  Regardless of however he felt about Charlton Heston, Brian Pendreich clearly appreciated the Planet of the Apes films and that genuine appreciation comes through in this book.  In fascinating and rewarding detail, it explores the controversy of who, among the many people who worked on developing the film, deserves the credit for coming up with the original’s classic final scene.  It examines the circumstances that led to Edward G. Robinson leaving the role of Dr. Zaius.  It takes a look at the career of Pierre Boulle, who wrote the somewhat forgotten novel that led to the films in the first place.  And it provides a fair look at what worked (and occasionally didn’t work) about the film’s sequels.

If you’re a fan of the original and its sequels, this book is a must-have.

Book Review: What Holly Heard by R.L. Stine


Has there been yet another murder at Shadyside High!?

That’s the latest gossip!

R.L. Stine’s 1996 YA thriller, What Holly Heard, is all about gossip.  Actually, one the things that made the book an interesting read for me was discovering how people gossiped in 1996, in the age before social media.  Today, we get our gossip by overanalyzing what people post on Instagram or what they tweeted back when they were 12.  Back in 1996, though, you actually had to stalk people through the high school, hide behind a corner to listen to conversations, and essentially act like a private detective.  That actually sounds like fun!

Anyway, Holly Silva’s knows all the gossip at Shadyside High!  When this book opens, she’s all excited because she’s learned that her classmate, Mei, might be fighting with her boyfriend, Noah.  Holly has a major crush on Noah and is hoping that Mei and Noah break up so that she can go out with him.  Her best friends, Ruth and Miriam, remind Holly that she has a super nice boyfriend named Gary but Holly doesn’t care.  It’s all about the gossip!

Then, suddenly, Holly is found dead in the school gym!  Who is the murderer!?  Could it Mei?  Could it be Noah?  Could it even be Gary?  How about Jed, the strangely moody jock?  Can Miriam solve the mystery before someone else dies!?

As I read this book last night, I found myself wondering if maybe I had read it before.  It all seemed strangely familiar.  While it is possible that I had actually read What Holly Heard before, it’s just as possible that I was reacting the fact that the same basic characters appear in all of R.L. Stine’s books.  There’s always a bad boy.  There’s always a couple that’s on the verge of breaking up.  There’s almost always a jock who might have a secret.  And there’s always at least one murder victim who went too far with the gossip!  But, actually, the familiarity is a part of the appeal of these books.  They’re like YA Lifetime movies.  You don’t read them to be shocked as much as you read them to judge the characters when they’re shocked over the exact same thing happening to them that happened to the people in all of the previous Fear Street book.  No one at Shadyside High ever learns a lesson from any of this!

That said, I liked What Holly Heard.  It’s fast-paced, it’s silly, and it features a totally out-of-nowhere drug subplot that I imagine was included in the name of 90s relevancy.  Plus, it features someone getting hit over the head with a hamster cage.  That made me smile.  If you’re looking to indulge in a little childhood nostalgia by reading (or re-reading) a little R.L. Stine, this is a good one to go with.

Book Review: “They’re Here….” Invasion of the Body Snatchers: A Tribute, edited by Kevin McCarthy and Ed Gorman


On Saturday night, I watched Piranha, which featured the great character actor Kevin McCarthy in a supporting role. This led to me remembering McCarthy’s iconic performance in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers (as well as his cameo in the 70s version). And that led to me remembering a book that I found at Half-Price Books a few years ago.

First published in 1999, They’re Here is a tribute to Invasion of the Body Snatchers, featuring essays about the films and interviews with some of the people involved. For instance, Stephen King and Dean Koontz both write about how seeing the original film influenced their later approach to horror. Jon L. Breen, James Combs, and Fred Blosser write about Jack Finney, the author of the book that served as the basis for the film. Other essays take a look at the remakes that were directed by Philip L. Kaufman and Abel Ferrara. Ferrara is himself interviewed and is as outspoken as ever. Also interviewed is Dana Wynter, who co-starred in the original.

However, the majority of the book is taken up with a terrifically entertaining and informative interview with Kevin McCarthy himself. McCarthy not only talks about filming the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers but also his entire career, his friendship with Montgomery Clift, and his status as pop cultural icon. Sometimes it can be disillusioning to read or listen to an interview in which an icon turns out to be kind of boring (call it the Steven Soderbergh syndrome) but, fortunately, McCarthy comes across as being just as eccentric, intelligent, interesting, and downright lovable as you would hope he would be. Kevin McCarthy, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 96, was one of the great character actors and this interview shows that he was …. wait for it …. quite the character! (Sorry.) The interview is a great tribute not only to McCarthy’s most famous film but also the man himself.

Seriously, if you’re a Body Snatchers fan but just appreciate great character acting, order a copy of this book!