Happy Thanksgiving! Due to the holiday, Retro Television Reviews will be taking a few days off! This feature will return on Monday, December 2nd, with Miami Vice and CHiPs!
Have a great Thanksgiving weekend everyone!
Category Archives: Alex Magana
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.7 “The Lady from Laramie/Vicki Swings/Phantom Bride”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
The Love Boat promises something for everyone!
Episode 5.7 “The Lady from Laramie/Vicki Swings/Phantom Bride”
(Dir by Jack Arnold, originally aired on November 14th, 1981)
As I did with this week’s episodes of Miami Vice, CHiPs, and Fantasy Island, I’m going to save time by doing this one bullet point style.
- Before getting to the storylines, I want to point out that this week’s episode was directed by Jack Arnold. Jack Arnold may not be a household name but he directed some of this site’s favorite science fiction and monster movies, including Tarantula, The Incredible Shrinking Man, It Came From Outer Space, and The Creature From The Black Lagoon!
- As always, this cruise presents us with three stories. One of the three stories definitely does benefit from Arnold’s macabre touch. Juliet Mills and Buddy Hackett play Kate and Julian Garfield, who are married psychic researchers. The board the boat in search of a ghost. Captain Stubing doesn’t believe in ghosts and good for him! (Neither do I!) However, Gopher is totally convinced and he’s soon wandering around the boat with a bunch of garlic hanging around his neck. Gopher, they’re looking for ghosts, not vampires!
- At one point, Gopher is convinced that he’s managed to take a picture of a ghost but it’s actually just Kate looking through a porthole.
- I have to admit that I groaned a bit when I saw that Juliet Mills was going to, once again, be a passenger on The Love Boat. But then I remembered that Hayley is the Mills sister that gets on my nerves. Juliet and Buddy Hackett had a surprising amount of chemistry. They were likable together.
- It is kind of funny that there are certain guest stars — like Juliet Mills — who show up over and over again but who always play different characters. I’m always waiting for someone on the boat to be like, “Hey, weren’t you here last week?”
- The least interesting story featured Nancy Dussault as a plain-spoken (or maybe just annoying) widow from Wyomin’ who fell in love with an Italian gigolo (Cesare Danova) who was on the boat with a rich socialite (Marti Stevens). Cesare Danova played the mob boss in Mean Streets and the mayor in Animal House. He did not look happy at all to be on The Love Boat.
- Poor Vicki! In this episode, 14 year-old Vicki pretended to be 18 in an attempt to flirt with Todd Andrews (Patrick Labyroteaux), a teenager who was traveling by himself. The Captain grew very worried about Vicki, especially after he heard Todd suggesting that he and Vicki had fooled around late into the night. (Todd was lying and, oddly enough, everyone seemed to be strangely forgiving of Todd’s actions.)
- At one point, The Captain tells Vicki that he wanted her to spend time with people her own age. Vicki replies that she was the only fourteen year-old on the ship. And, seriously, Vicki has a point.
- Vicki living on the ship has always seemed kind of strange to me and I always appreciate the episodes that try to honestly deal with the situation. How can you not have mixed feelings about spending your teen years on a boat, largely surrounded by people who are quite a bit older than you? That said, Gavin MacLeod was always at his best when he was playing Stubing as a father and Jill Whelan was refreshingly non-cutesy in the role of Vicki. As a result, you couldn’t help but feel that, ultimately, the Captain and his daughter were right where they belonged.
- This was an okay cruise. The ghost storyline was fun. MacLeod and Whelan tugged at the heartstrings. When it comes to good stories on The Love Boat, two out of three is not bad at all!
Next week — The Love Boat goes on a Thanksgiving cruise! (If only I had started reviewing The Love Boat a week earlier than I did, the timing would have been perfect.) ‘Til then, set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance….
Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.19 “Face of Love/Image of Celeste”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week …. hey, where’s Tattoo!?
Episode 5.19 “Face of Love/Image of Celeste”
(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on March 20th, 1982)
Once again, as I did with Miami Vice and CHiPs, I am going to save time by doing this review bullet-point style. It’s the holidays, after all.
- After two (or was it three) weeks of just Roarke and Tattoo, this episode features only Julie as Roarke’s assistant. Apparently, Tattoo has been busy helping a guest fulfill a “Cinderella fantasy” but things have gone wrong. The carriage turned back into a pumpkin. The horses turned back into mice and are now running all over the Island. Tattoo is not seen in this episode, which is a shame because the last few episodes (featuring only him and Roarke) really did feel like a throw-back to the first two seasons of the show.
- It’s been kind of weird during this season, continually hearing that various fantasies are going wrong. That’s not the Fantasy Island that we all know. Fantasy Island has previously been portrayed as a place where Roarke would never allow anything to truly go wrong.
- Julie doesn’t really do anything as Roarke’s assistant in this episode. Roarke tells her who each guest is and gives her the details of their fantasy but that’s pretty much it.
- Laura Jensen (Erin Gray) has spent her life with a face that was scarred during a housefire. She’s grown up to be bitter and angry. She’s just gotten out of prison and she’s brought to the Island by her parole officer, Ron (Monte Markham). Ron’s fantasy is for Laura’s scars to go away so that Laura can let go of her anger and live a norma;l life.
- Though initially weary, Laura is amazed when Roarke gives her a magical cream that causes her scars to temporarily vanish. In fact, Laura appears to be ready to get on with her life and accept that she and Ron are in love. But then Laura’s sleazy ex (Larry Manetti) shows up and tempts her back to her old ways. Don’t worry. It all works out in the end and Ron and Laura leave as a couple. However, I get the feeling that Ron’s going to lose his job as a parole officer. Falling in love with a parolee and taking a tropical vacation with her seems like something that would go against every rule in the book.
- The other fantasy was slightly more interesting, if just because it featured Paul Gauguin. When Celeste Vallon (Joanne Pettet) discovers that Roarke owns a Gauguin portrait of a woman who looks just like her, Celeste requests to go back to the past and be that woman. Roarke agrees, even though he warns her that she will also have to make a very serious decision, one that could change history.
- Right away, this fantasy ran into a major stumbling block. The Gauguin painting looked absolutely nothing like something that Gauguin, one of the great post-impressionists, would have painted. Instead, it’s a very conventional painting.
- The second stumbling block is that the legendary and charismatic Gauguin is played by the handsome but mild-mannered Robert Goulet.
- What Celeste discovers is that she is directly descended from the woman in Gauguin’s painting. The woman was Gauguin’s mistress and was engaged, against her will, to marry a soldier (Christopher Stone). If Celeste agrees to remain with Gauguin, then Gauguin will never paint another painting. If Celeste agrees to return to France, her ancestor will lose the love of her life but Gauguin will continue to paint.
- Celeste chooses not to change history. Good for her! Of course, that’s kind of an easy decision to make when Celeste isn’t the one who is actually going to have to live the rest of her life in Paris, dreaming of returning to Tahiti and Gauguin.
- I wanted to like this episode more than I did. The parole officer bringing one of his parolees to the Island felt strange to me and the Gauguin story would have worked if the painter had been anyone other than the Paul Gauguin. If they had come up with a fictional painter, perhaps Goulet would have seemed more appropriate in the role. As it was, this episode felt bland and miscast.
- Herve Villechaize was an accomplished painter so it’s a shame he wasn’t present for the Gauguin story. It’s previously been established that Tattoo is quite a painter himself so this episode definitely feels like a missed opportunity.
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.22 “Ride the Whirlwind”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, Baker takes charge!
Episode 2.22 “Ride The Whirlwind”
(Dir by Larry Wilcox, originally aired on March 10th, 1979)
Just as with the week’s episode of Miami Vice, I am going to do a bullet-point review of this week’s episode of CHiPs because, quite frankly, it’s the holidays and I’m pressed for time.
- In order to combat a crime wave that has apparently broken out in the nearby California hills, Baker has suggested creating a three-person dirt-bike team. His hope is that the team will be made up of him, Ponch, and Sindy. However, when Sindy gets delayed while helping a stranding motorist and ends up missing the morning briefing, Baker is forced to pick Grossman (Paul Linke) instead.
- “Yay!” you might be saying. Seriously, Grossman is a far more entertaining character than Sindy. However, Ponch, Baker, and Sindy are not happy about it. My personal feeling is that if riding a dirt bike was that damn important to Sindy, she should have arrived on time.
- Ponch pays Grossman forty dollars to fake an injury so Sindy can take his place. Grossman takes the money and then explains that he would have done it for free, just because he can tell who much riding a dirt bike means to Sindy. If it meant so much to her, she could have showed up on time!
- The dirt bike patrol is a huge success. One guy rides through an old woman’s lettuce patch on his bike. Baker tracks down the miscreant and not only gives him a ticket but also gets a date with the guy’s girlfriend.
- Larry Wilcox also directed this episode, which perhaps explains why, for once, Baker’s the one who gets a date as opposed to Ponch.
- Ponch busts a city councilman who later explains that he was just riding his bike recklessly because he was having a midlife crisis.
- Sindy busts a punch of PCP dealers. It takes her two tries, however. The first time she chases them, she falls off her bike and sprains her ankle. The second time, she proves that she belongs on a bike.
- That’s good because Getraer is in a total panic about putting a woman on any sort of motorcycle, even just a dirt bike. “If she gets injured,” Getraer warns Baker, it’ll be bad news for the entire department. Getraer, I guess, hasn’t noticed that the entire second season had pretty much centered on just how hyper-competent Sindy is.
- The stars of this episode were the California scenery and the stunt people. The members of the dirt bike patrol all wear bulky uniforms and face-obscuring helmets, in order to disguise the fact that Larry Wilcox, Erik Estrada, and Brianne Leary are clearly not the ones who are actually riding the bikes.
- Noted character actor Paul Koslo appears as one of the PCP dealers. He’s believably redneck-y.
- This episode featured some impressive stunts, which is really the main thing that most people ask for when it comes to a show like this. That said, I do think the episode would have been more with Grossman as a member of the team.
Next week: Season two ends!
Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.9 “Baby Blues”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, the Vice Squad investigates a baby broker!
Episode 3.9 “Baby Blues”
(Dir by Danial Attias, originally aired on November 21st, 1986)
In honor Miami Vice‘s violent nature (and in recognition of the fact that it’s the holidays and I’ve got a lot of things that I need to do), I’m going to review this week’s episode bullet-point style!
- The episode starts in Colombia. Babies are being kidnapped from local villages. In some cases, they’re literally snatched from the arms of their mothers. The babies are taken to Miami where a sleazy lawyer named Howard Famiglia (Tommy Koenig) essentially sells them to wealthy families.
- Maria Escobar (Patrice Martinez) illegally crosses the border to search for her son in Miami. She nearly dies in the attempt. When she and a planeload of babies are discovered on a Miami runway, law enforcement gets involved.
- Castillo doesn’t think that the case is one that Vice should be investigating. Gina and Trudy set him straight.
- It doesn’t take long for the Vice Squad to discover that Famiglia is a baby broker. One of his customers is played by a young Stanley Tucci. The customer is willing to testify against Famiglia.
- Famiglia sends his henchmen out to intimidate and kill all of the witnesses.
- Famiglia also kills his main hitman and then booby traps his apartment. When Crockett and Tubbs jump out of the exploding apartment, it looked like Tubbs leg caught on fire. “Wow,” I said, “that really looked real!”
- It turns that it was real. Philip Michael Thomas’s stunt double was severely burned as a result.
- Eventually, the Vice Squad is able to trick Famiglia into believing that Maria is being kept at a local hospital. Famiglia sets up a meeting for women looking to adopt. While the women watch an educational film, Famiglia crawls through a ventilation shaft and tries to enter Maria’s room.
- SURPRISE! That’s not Maria in that hospital bed …. it’s Gina! The Vice Squad shoots Famglia dead, leaving his corpse awkwardly hanging out of the hospital room wall. For some reason, that sight really disturbed me.
- Maria is reunited with her son but, upon realizing that he now has a life and a family in America, she decides to let him stay with his new parents. She is then deported back to Colombia, where she will probably be killed by the same people who stole her baby in the first place.
- Overall, this episode suffered because the villain was miscast. Looking at the imdb, the majority of Tommy Koenig’s credits appear to have been comedic. He’s an actor who looks like he should be on a sketch comedy show and not a gritty crime drama. Even when Famiglia is crawling through an air duct with a gun, he just looks goofy. Plus, considering that he had a people working for him who were willing to murder, would Famiglia really have gone to the hospital himself?
- Stanley Tucci and Tommy Koenig should have switched roles.
- This episode gave Trudy, Gina, Switek, and Zito more to do than usual. That was good. This show often underused its supporting cast.
- Miami Vice was often a cop show with a political subtext. In this case (and I’m just pointing it out, I’m not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing), the subtext was that America’s immigration system sucked, as Maria only had a limited amount of time to find her son before being deported. But then she decided to leave him in America rather than take him back to Colombia. Miami Vice was not just political. It was also usually kind of depressing.
Next week’s episode features Bill Paxton and Wesley Snipes! I’m looking forward to it!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.3 “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
This week, it’s time for another Degrassi divorce!
Episode 1.3 “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on November 13th, 1989)
I’m running a bit late tonight so here is a very quick rundown of this week’s episode of Degrassi High.
- Joey is so consumed with his band (which has now been renamed The Zits) that he doesn’t seem to notice that his girlfriend, Caitlin, is more interested in political activism than forgettable pop music. Caitlin is offended when Joey tries to convince he to wear a bikini for a Zits music video. Soon, she is having lunch with douchey environmentalist Claude Tanner (David Armin-Parcells).
- Joey does convince Allison (Sara Holmes) and Amy (Jacy Hunter) to appear in his music video while wearing bikinis, albeit in return for him paying them forty dollars that he got from Snake and Wheels. Snake and Wheels are offended at the idea of their money being spent to hire girls to wear bikinis. Lucy is offended that Joey wants to borrow her video camera to shoot “a sexist video.” Long story short: Joey does not shoot his music video but Snake and Wheels start to take more interest in his plans for the band.
- Lucy admits to LD that she has a crush on Wheels. This would usually be a minor point but it’s actually really heart-breaking for those of us who know that Wheels is destined to nearly kill Lucy while driving drunk.
- Erica doesn’t want everyone to know that she had an abortion but rumors are spreading through the school. Nancy (Arlene Lott), who has been on the show since Junior High, finally gets some dialogue when she awkwardly asks Heather if the rumors about Erica are true. This scene not only reveals that people know about Erica’s abortion but it also answers the question of why Nancy usually wasn’t given any dialogue.
- Erica is upset when someone paints “Baby Killer” on her locker. Well, who wouldn’t be?
- The episode’s main storyline features Michelle’s parents breaking up. BLT is hopeful that this means Michelle will decide to move in with her mother and say goodbye to her father, who doesn’t want Michelle dating BLT because BLT is black. But, when Michelle sees how helpless her father is (he can’t cook and doesn’t separate colors while doing the laundry), she decides that she has to stay with him and BLT will just have to keep seeing her in secret.
- Yes, this is another divorce episode. Degrassi usually did a pretty good job with divorce episodes and that’s a good thing because it’s never easy for someone to watch their parents split up. I know that from personal experience. This episode handled things well, though I have to admit that Michelle is one of those characters who I always tend to forget about. (Either that or I mix her up with LD.) If this episode was made today, Michelle probably would have dramatically denounced her father and then moved out of the house. I appreciated that Degrassi High took a more realistic approach to the story.
Next week …. more drama!
Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 1.8 “And the Rockets’ Dead Glare”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
This week, Detective Munch takes a stand!
Episode 1.8 “And the Rockets’ Dead Glare”
(Dir by Peter Markle, originally aired on March 17th, 1993)
Is John Munch a stoner?
That’s the question that Stanley Bolander finds himself considering during this week’s episode of Homicide: Life On The Street. At a crime scene, Munch displays an encyclopedic knowledge of marijuana and later, while talking to a narcotics detective at the station house, both Munch and Bayliss argue that drugs should be legalized. That night, as they wait to bust a man who earlier killed a drug currier, Bolander flat out asks Munch if he gets high. Munch refuses to answer.
Of course, those of us watching already know. Of course, John Munch gets high! He’s played by Richard Belzer, the thin, middle-aged man who never takes off his sunglasses and who is continually rattling off trivial knowledge in a mellow tone of voice. Munch not only gets high but he was probably high through this entire episode. Whenever Munch appeared on another television show, he was probably high then. And when he eventually ended up on Law & Order: SVU, he was probably so stoned that I’m surprised Stabler didn’t put him in a headlock and start yelling about how he didn’t want Munch serving as a bad example for the youth of New York City.
There’s no surprise that Munch would be in favor of legalizing drugs. (It’s a bit more surprising that straight-laced Bayliss would agree but whatever.) What was surprising, to me, was how I reacted to his argument. There was a time when I was 100% enthusiastically in favor of legalizing all drugs, or at least leaving it up to individual states. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that it’s not that simple. Legalizing drugs is not the societal cure-all that many of us assumed it would be. Then again, weed is kind of boring now that it’s socially acceptable so maybe the best way to keep people off of drugs is to broadcast nonstop YouTube commercials featuring middle-aged suburbanites talking about how much they love their edibles.
(To be honest, Munch and Bayliss’s sudden advocacy for drug legalization reminded me of one of the things that always makes me laugh about Law & Order, i.e. the tendency to have blue-collar cops, who are not exactly the most liberal of constituencies, suddenly start talking like MSNBC pundits.)
While Munch argued for drug legalization, Pembleton considered whether or not to accept a promotion, Kay testified in a murder trial and accepted the offer of a dinner date from State’s Attorney Ed Danvers (Zeljko Ivanek), and Corsetti and Lewis drove to Washington D.C. to investigate the murder of a Chinese dissident. Officially, they went to D.C. so that they could question the people at the Chinese embassy about the victim and the possibility that his murder was related to politics. However, the real reason they went to D.C. was so that Crosetti could visit some historical sites and expound on his theories about who really killed Abraham Lincoln. A somewhat sinister secret service agent (played by Ed Lauter) was happy to show them around in return for them not making trouble at the embassy. Crosetti was excited. Lewis was considerably less impressed. I enjoyed the DC storyline, if just because I’m both a history and a conspiracy nerd and, when Jeff and I last went to our nation’s capital, I got excited about seeing some of the same locations that Crosetti got excited about.
This episode was a day-in-the-life episode, with all of the detectives getting their share of attention. (Even Felton, who accompanied Kay to the courthouse, got a few moments to shine.) If the episode didn’t have the emotional impact of Night of the Dead Living, it still did a good job of portraying the comradery of a group of people who are linked by their knowledge of what it’s like to see others at their worst. In the end, Pembleton turns down the promotion and finally, joins his fellow detectives for an after-work drink. I’m glad he did. They’re good company.
Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.21 “Here Comes The Bride”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Christian gets married!
Episode 2.21 “Here Comes The Bride”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on March 15th, 1987)
Jack Christian (marvelously played by Jeff Pustil) is getting married!
He’s known the girl (Barbara Radecki) for twenty minutes and he’s not totally sure what her name is. (It’s turns out to be Gilga.) Gilga is the niece of Jan (Barry Baidero), the store’s never-bef0re-seen butcher. When Jack first meets Gilga, she’s crying. Her visa has expired. The only way that she’s going to avoid being sent back to her home country Baclavia is if she manages to get a Canadian green card. One quick way to do that is to get married. Jan offers to pay Christian to marry Gilga and then divorce her after she gets her green card. Christian agrees.
However, there’s a problem.
Christian is actually falling in love with Gilga but he doesn’t know how he can convince Gilga that his love is real. Howard tells him that the only way to do it would be to give back the money. That sounds simple enough but Christian really likes money. Plus, he needs a new car….
(Maybe he could just stay married to Gilga and so charm Jan that Jan would buy him a new car just to welcome him to the family. The possibility of anyone sincerely liking Christian is never really considered, which is kind of sad.)
This episode was fairly dumb but it was more enjoyable than the usual Check It Out! offering, if just because it focused on one of the show’s few consistently funny characters. Since the first season, Jeff Pustil has been one of the stronger members of the cast, playing Christian as being such an unapologetic sleaze that it’s impossible not to like him. No one should ever trust Jack Christian but he still comes across like he would be fun to catch a movie with. Unfortunately, up until this episode, the show rarely took advantage of Pustil’s strong work as Christian. This episode finally gives Pustil the spotlight and he manages to wring quite a few laughs out of so-so material. Much like Gordon Clapp and Kathleen Laskey (who played Marlene and married Pustil after the show ended), Jeff Pustil brought enough odd quirkiness to his role that he often transcended the show’s scripts.
Along with giving Jeff Pustil a chance to show off, this episode also featured several never-bef0re-seen employees of Cobb’s. They show up for Christian’s bachelor party and the wedding, both of which take place at the store for some reason. I’ve often wondered how a major supermarket managed to survive with only two cashiers and one bagger. (It often seemed strange that Howard had a secretary but apparently not a janitor.) This episode revealed that a lot of people worked at Cobb’s, the viewer apparently just never noticed them before.
This was a rare good episode. Next week, we conclude season two!
Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 4.9 “The Barbarino Blues”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show can be purchased on Prime.
Well, they tease him a lot …. even though he’s not longer on the spot….
Episode 4.9 “The Barbarino Blues”
(Dir by November 3rd, 1978, directed by Norman Abbott)
Gabe Kaplan is not in this episode but John Travolta is. The audience goes wild when they see John Travolta stepped onto the soundstage. Maybe they were worried they were going to get stuck watching one of the episodes in which Barbarino doesn’t appear.
Well, no worries for them! This episode is all about Barbarino and the Sweathogs. Unfortunately, the majority of it takes place in Barbarino’s incredibly ugly and dirty-looking apartment. I don’t know why but every 70s sitcom appeared to take place in the filthiest locations possible. I saw an episode of All In The Family recently and I found myself cringing at the thought of all the bugs and weevils that were probably buried in Archie Bunker’s chair. Welcome Back Kotter takes thing even further by having Vinnie live in what appears to be the drug room in an abandoned building. Joe Buck and Ratso lived in a nicer place.
Anyway, Barbarino is depressed. He was going to break up with his girlfriend but she dumped him first. “I’m so depressed!” Travolta says, in his high-pitched Barbarino voice. The other Sweathogs try to help Barbarino conquer the blues. This means that a good deal of the episode is taken up with Beau giving advice to Barbarino. The whole thing is set up as a changing of the guard sort of thing. It’s as if the show is saying, “You think John Travolta’s cool? Well, check out Stephen Shortridge!”
It’s a dumb episode. At one point, the Sweathogs point out that Barbarino hasn’t come to school in three days and it was a bit jarring to be reminded that the middle-aged-looking men were all supposed to be high school students. Usually, whenever this show had a bad episode, John Travolta would serve as Welcome Back Kotter‘s saving grace. But, with this episode, Travolta appears to be as bored as just about everyone else. Travolta had movie stardom to focus on. By the time this episode aired, he had been nominated for an Oscar. It’s probably safe to say that being a Sweathog was the last thing on Travolta’s mind.
Speaking of the Sweathogs, I have defended Ron Pallilo’s performance as Horshack in the past. Yes, Horshack is annoying but Pallilo occasionally managed to capture the character’s sweet and innocent nature. But I have to admit that I’ve spent most of the fourth season hoping that someone will finally toss Horshack off the Brooklyn Bridge. Everyone turned into a caricature during the fourth season and, since Horshack was already a caricature, that just made his character even more annoying. There’s also the fact that Ron Pallilo was 30 years old during the fourth season and he looked older. Whenever he did Horshack’s signature laugh, the wrinkles on his face would suddenly appear and make him look like a map of the interstate highway system.
I guess my point is that this is another episode that left little doubt that it was time for everyone to move on. I mean, when even Kotter isn’t around to be welcomed back, it’s time to graduate and start a new life as a featured player Off-Broadway. To quote the Chambers Brothers: “TIME!”
Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.19 “The Butcher”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, it’s all about Jack!
Episode 2.19 “The Butcher”
(Dir by Francis Delia, originally aired on April 24th, 1989)
Horst Mueller (Colin Fox), a Nazi scientist, uses a magic amulet to bring back to life the fearsome Col. Rausch (Nigel Bennett), a Nazi war criminal who was infamous for using barb wire as a garotte whenever he was carrying out executions. Rausch was killed during the war by a squad of soldiers led by a young lieutenant named Jack Marshak. Once Rausch is brought back to life, he not only sets himself up as a radio talk show host but he also seeks revenge on the men who killed him. One-by-one, he kills the members of the squad until eventually, only three are left alive, Simpson (Julius Harris), Shaw (John Gilbert), and Jack.
There were many episodes of Friday the 13th in which Jack was absent and described as being out-of-town while Micki and Ryan dealt with the latest cursed antique. This, however, is the first episode to feature Jack on his own. He mentions that Micki and Ryan are out-of-town, presumably because they’re tracking something down. This leads Jack to face Rausch with only the help of Simpson and Shaw. Watching this episode, one gets the feeling that Jack wouldn’t have it any other way. While this episode features all of the usual blood and melodrama that we’ve come to expect from this show, it also serves as a tribute to the friendship between Jack and his comrades-in-arms. Jack relates to Simpson and Shaw in a way that he can’t relate to the much-younger Micki and Ryan. If Jack is usually cast as a fatherly figure, this episode finds him working with equals and fighting against a monster with whom he has a personal connection. This is the rare episode to not feature any of Lewis’s cursed antiques. Instead, the magic amulet is one of the many artifacts for which Heinrich Himmler and the SS spent much of the war searching.
It’s a change-of-pace episode that gives Chris Wiggins a chance to show off his considerable talents an actor. Rarely has Jack been as haunted as he is in the episode and Wiggins’s sad eyes allow us to see what a lifetime of dealing with unbelievable evil would do to a person. In this episode, Jack is not just aware of the evil in the world but he’s also aware that he and his comrades-in-arms, the members of the so-called “Greatest Generation,” are aging and their time is passing. Jack and his friends are at an age where they should be enjoying their retirement. Instead. they’re still fighting against the legacy of Hitler’s evil.
This was a good and melancholy episode of Friday the 13th. This show could be uneven but episodes like this were good enough to make one mourn that the series did not last longer than just three seasons.
