4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, we take a moment to remember the great director and stuntman, Hal Needham. It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Hal Needham Films
Smokey and the Bandit (1977, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Bobby Byrne)
Hooper (1978, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Bobby Byrne)
The Cannonball Run (1981, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Michael Butler)
Rad (1986, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Richard Leiterman)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.
Bye bye, Stads!
Episode 2.4 “Chasing Stads”
(dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 30th, 1999)
After getting fired from her lifeguarding job after she follows Jason’s advice and complains about not getting promotion, Stads proceeds to accidentally burn down her apartment building when she used a faulty hair dryer. We hear a news report that says it’s the worst “apartment building” fire in Malibu history so I’m going to guess that people died.
Stads should be going to jail on a manslaughter charge. Instead, she hops on a plane and goes to Europe for a year. This is the same Stads who, earlier in the show, was saying that she was flat broke. Stads is gone and Jason is sad so he hops on a plane and joins here in Switzerland, where he gets a job working with her in a hotel. I guess Jason’s gone now. Yay!
Oh wait. It turns out that Jason is dreaming of pursuing his musical career and to do that, he needs to return to Malibu because God knows it’s not like there are record companies in Europe. Jason promises he’ll wait for Stads. “I’m going to miss you.” Stads says. Awww!
I, on the other hand, am not going to miss Stads because the show transformed her from being a fairly interesting character — a socially awkward lifeguard who was unlucky in love but totally capable of saving lives — into a fairly annoying killjoy whose main purpose was to roll her eyes and get mad at every single line of dialogue. In the end, Stads represented the fact that the writers of this show had no idea how to write female characters. In the world of Malibu CA, you could be a ditz or a …. well, I gave up cursing for Lent but you know what I’m saying.
Myself, I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of Jason suddenly showing up in Switzerland. How did he pay for the trip? How did he get over there so quickly? Did he give his two-weeks at the restaurant? Did he tell his dad or his brother? Were they cool with him just moving to another country? This episode certainly establishes that no one’s in high school any more so is their father okay with his two sons skipping college despite not really having any of the skills necessary to survive in the real world? Seriously, this episode raised too many questions.
Meanwhile Lisa Jones tried to break Murray of his soap opera addiction. It was pretty dumb. Marquita Terry may have improved an actress since Malibu CA, I don’t know. And let’s be honest …. it’s not like the show was really giving her great material work with. That said, we are four episodes into the second season and her performance on the show is making Trevor Merszei and Jason Hayes look like Oscar winners.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, Monsters heads down south. No complaints from me. I like it when things head on down.
Episode 3.11 “Sin-Sop”
(Dir by P.J. Pesce, originally aired on December 9th, 1990)
In the deep South, a young man named Brother Roy (Christopher Shaw) claims that he can literally extract the sin from people, turning it into a black sludge that can then be disposed of. Brother Roy has the corpse of the most evil man in the world in his house. Touching the corpse (ew!) allows for the sin to be extracted. (This is why I prefer going to confession.)
Laura Daniel (Christine Dunford) is a reporter who is hopeful that she’ll be able to expose Brother Roy as being a fraud. Larch Lazaar (Richard Borg) is a sociopathic murderer who shows up at Roy’s place shortly after Laura. Laura and Lazaar are both skeptics but they’re also both about to discover the reality of sin-sop.
This was an atmospheric episode with an intriguing premise. I’m from the South and I’ve heard the stories of the so-called sin eaters, people who would go to the homes of the recently deceased and “eat” all of the dead person’s sins, usually by eating food that had been placed near the corpse. The deceased’s family would get the peace of mind of knowing their loved one was now without sin and the sin-eater usually got to eat a fairly large meal. (That said, I don’t know if I’d want to eat food that had been sitting next to or, in some cases, on a decaying corpse.) This episode makes good use of the sin eater legend and it features appropriately theatrical performances from Richard Borg and Christopher Shaw. This was an entertaining piece of Southern Gothic.
I just read the news that Peter Engel passed away yesterday. My Retro Television reviews started with four Engel-produced shows, California Dreams, One World, Hang Time, and City Guys. Right now, I’m reviewing one of his later shows, Malibu CA. I would be lying if I said all of those reviews have been positive. I loved California Dreams and Hang Time won me over but the only good thing about Malibu CA is that it’s not Pacific Blue.
But here’s the thing. Peter Engel, regardless of what I may think of some of his later shows. made pop cultural history with Saved By The Bell. When I was a kid, you couldn’t turn on a TV without finding Saved By The Bell reruns playing somewhere. (Myself, I only wish Saved By The Bell: The New Class was as easy to find.) Today, Saved By The Bell has faded a bit from our collective memory, a relic from the childhoods of many elder millennials and their Gen-X siblings. That reboot on Peacock was never quite as good as I used to tell myself it was. But the original show can still be found on Prime, just as California Dreams and Hang Time can be found on YouTube. The Engelverse will live forever.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Come aboard, we’re expecting you!
Episode 5.19 “New York, A.C./Live It Up/All’s Fair in Love and War”
(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 20th, 1982)
Poor Captain Stubing! He’s just returned from burying an old friend named George and now, he’s thinking about his own mortality. When he starts to feel unwell, Stubing goes to Dr. Bricker who tells Stubing that his problems are not physical. The problem is that …. STUBING’S DEPRESSED! Stubing decides to live each day to the fullest and good for him. This was a simple storyline but I liked it. I always appreciate the episodes that allow Stubing to be vulnerable without turning him into a hard-luck doofus. In this episode, Stubing was dealing with something that almost everyone has either had to or will deal with at some point in their life. It was also nice to see Doc Bricker giving good advice for once. Bernie Kopell is so likable in the role that I always appreciate it when he gets to play Doc as being something other than a lech.
As for the other two stories …. agck!
Three New York friends (played by former teen idols Eddie Byrnes, Fabian, and Bobby Sherman) have boarded the cruise. They are members of the Alimony Club. They’re all divorced and they’ve all sworn that they’ll keep each other from marrying again. They are a club that believes all marriages are doomed to failure. But when Sherman’s ex-wife, Annette Funicello, boards the boat, it looks like the Alimony Club might lose a member. And listen, I know that guys have their little rituals and their little clubs and that’s okay. But the Alimony Club just feels weird. It should be called the Misery Club because they seem to be more interested in keeping Bobby Sherman depressed than anything else. I always find it odd when previously divorced couples get back together on The Love Boat. I mean, did they forget why they got divorced in the first place?
Meanwhile, Jill St. John and Ron Ely have been having an affair for four years. Every 12 months, they get together for a romantic getaway. Ron says he can’t marry Jill because he’s married and has children back home. (*cough* jerk *cough*) Jill, who really could do better, insists that Ron leave his wife. She even has her brother board the cruise and flirt with her (*cough* Oh my Gosh, creepy! *cough*) to make Ron jealous. Ron gets jealous, alright. He beats up Jill’s brother and then reveals that he was lying about having a wife. He’s not married …. he’s scared of commitment! And now he’s ready to get married! Uhmmm …. like seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!? (I gave up cursing for Lent.) Jill — you were a BOND GIRL! You were TIFFANY FREAKING CASE! YOU CAN DO BETTER!
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
103 years ago, on this date, Pier Paolo Pasolini was born in Italy. His controversial films and his mysterious death continue to inspire debate to this very day. Both the man and his works were full of intriguing contradictions. Pasolini was an atheist who made one of the best Biblical films ever made. He was a communist who made films that celebrated individual freedom and who had little use for the upper class liberals who made up much of the European counterculture of the 1960s. In the end, he was an artist unafraid to challenge all assumptions, whether they were found on the right or the left. His final film, Salo, was the most controversial of his career. It was also projected to be the first part of a trilogy, though those plans were ended by Pasolini’s murder.
It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Pier Paolo Pasolini Films
Accatone (1961, dir by Pier Paolo Pasolini, DP: Tonino Delli Colli)
The Gospel According To St. Matthew (1964, dir by Pier Paolo Pasolini, DP: Tonino Delli Colli)
The Hawks and The Sparrows (1966, dir by Pier Paolo Pasolini, DP: Mario Bernardo and Tonino Delli Colli)
Salo (1975, dir by Pier Paolo Pasolini, DP: Tonino Delli Colli)
I remember, when I was like 14, I got up early in the morning and I woke up my sisters by shouting, “It’s Ash Wednesday, bitches!” My mom was not amused. That said, Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite days. I just love the ritual of it all. Of course, I also usually wash my forehead fairly early in the day. That’s allowed, by the way.
Now, before anyone leaves any snarky comments, I fully understand that David Bowie’s Ashes to Ashes is not actually about Ash Wednesday nor are the ashes mentioned in the song literal ashes. I understand that but hey, this is a good song.
Do you remember a guy that’s been In such an early song? I’ve heard a rumor from Ground Control Oh no, don’t say it’s true
They got a message from the Action Man “I’m happy, hope you’re happy too I’ve loved all I’ve needed, love Sordid details following”
The shrieking of nothing is killing, just Pictures of Jap girls in synthesis and I Ain’t got no money and I ain’t got no hair But I’m hoping to kick but the planet it’s glowing
Ashes to ashes, funk to funky We know Major Tom’s a junkie Strung out in heaven’s high Hitting an all-time low
Time and again I tell myself I’ll stay clean tonight But the little green wheels are following me Oh no, not again I’m stuck with a valuable friend “I’m happy, hope you’re happy too” One flash of light but no smoking pistol
I never done good things (I never done good things) I never done bad things (I never done bad things) I never did anything out of the blue, woh-o-oh Want an axe to break the ice Wanna come down right now
Ashes to ashes, funk to funky We know Major Tom’s a junkie Strung out in heaven’s high Hitting an all-time low
My mother said, to get things done You’d better not mess with Major Tom
My mother said, to get things done You’d better not mess with Major Tom
My mother said, to get things done You’d better not mess with Major Tom
My mother said, to get things done You’d better not mess with Major Tom
I’ve always liked Jennifer Love Hewitt, largely because we’re both Texas girls, we both have what others seem to consider to be an unusual sense of humor, and I imagine that we both share the same struggle when it comes to having to remind men that our eyes are up here. Of course, for all that we have in common, a huge difference between the two of us is that Jennifer Love Hewitt can actually sing whereas I can barely carry a tune. (That said, I’ve always felt that my karaoke version of All Time Highwas better than all the other karaoke versions.) Jennifer Love Hewitt has released four albums, which is four more than I’ve released.
This video and song were done for the second season of the wonderfully silly and over-the-top The Client List. Hey, Lifetime …. BRING IT BACK!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
Oh no! It’s the cops!
Episode 1.8 “Burnout”
(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 20th, 1996)
This episode of Pacific Blue opens with a hilarious scene of Victor and Cory sneaking up on some drug dealers that they’ve spotted making a sale. What makes it hilarious is that Victor and Cory somehow manage to do this while 1) wearing their blindingly white t-shirts and 2) riding their bikes. There’s not much good to say about this show but there’s an undeniable amusement factor in the show’s insistence that bicycle cops don’t look massively dumb creeping up on people while on their bikes.
It turns out that the dealers aren’t selling the usual “smack,” as Cory puts it. Instead, they’re selling steroids! Sheila (Shannon Tweed) is upset that one of her waitresses had gotten hooked on steroids and…. wait, who? Sheila briefly appeared in the pilot episode but she hasn’t been mentioned since and this is certainly the first time that we learn that Lt. Palermo’s girlfriend owns a restaurant. This episode acts as if Sheila is a regular character that we all know and love.
I get the feeling this episode was meant to air earlier in the season. Not only does Sheila return but Chris is back to being her arrogant, bitter self. Chris was a fighter pilot until her eyesight failed, a story we hear again and again in this episode. (She no longer has 20/20 eyesight but whenever she talks about it, she makes it sound as if she literally went blind.) Another pilot, Greg (Peter Barton), comes to visit her and makes a few jokes about how riding a bicycle is lame. This gives Chris a chance to defend her job and to also call out Greg for being a sexist who just wants to get laid before returning to the skies. Chris may be right about Greg but he’s played by the totally adorable Peter Barton so really, why not?
Meanwhile, on the beach, a schizophrenic man annoys the owner of a bodega by playing his saxophone. Fights break out, Cory tells the saxophone man to play his instrument under the pier. Presumably, it will be easier for him to get mugged or murdered under there. I like that the solution when it came to the crazy homeless man was just to find somewhere else for him to be crazy and homeless. Don’t take him to a shelter or a hook him up with mental health professionals or anything silly like that.
This show …. ugh. I’m really hoping the first season is an outlier and the subsequent seasons will be an improvement. The only thing worse than bicyclists are people who are cocky about being bicyclists. For 8 episodes now, it’s been one person after another expressing shock at the whole bicycle thing. We get it. We understand. The cops look stupid on their Schwinns. But, that’s the show. If Pacific Blue is still trying to justify its existence after eight episodes, that’s not a great sign.
Through the Shattered Lens 