Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Cleaning Out The DVR: Stickman (dir by Sheldon Wilson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there!  So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR.  Seriously, I currently have 191 things recorded!  I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not.  So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR!  Will I make it?  Keep checking this site to find out!  I recorded Stickman off of the SyFy on October 21st!)

When she was seven years old, Emma (Hayley Law) was accused of two terrible crimes.

The authorities say that Emma murdered both her sister and her mother.  She’s spent the last ten years in an institution, haunted by nightmares of the demonic monster that she claims committed the murders.  According to Emma, the Stickman comes for you if you make the mistake of reading a poem aloud.  The only way to keep the Stickman at bay is to draw a picture of him every night.  Of course, no one believes Emma.  At the institution, she has to regularly deal with smug doctors who refuse to accept that she’s being stalked by an unstoppable monster.  Obviously, they’ve never watched It Follows or that HBO documentary about Slenderman.

When 17 year-old Emma is finally released from the institution, she is sent to a half-way house where she is to live with 5 other girls.  They’ve all committed different crimes.  One of them is an arsonist.  Another one has a paranoid obsession with the dark web.  Emma’s the only one to have been accused of murder.  Even though Emma is assured that, as far as the other girls are concerned, “their bark is worse than their bite,” she soon finds herself targeted by Liv (Zoe De Grand Maison).  Not only does Liv refuses to believe in Stickman but she also doesn’t want to live with a murderer.

(I have to admit that sounds kinda reasonable to me.)

Anyway, as you can probably guess, that poem gets read again.  And, on her first night of half-way house living, Emma has a nightmare about the Stickman.  However, this time, Stickman doesn’t just stay in her dreams.  Instead, Stickmsn shows up in the real world and starts killing people.  Emma thinks that she can find a way to stop Stickman if she returns to the hospital.  Liv, meanwhile, remains convinced that Stickman is a myth and somehow, Emma is responsible for it all…

Stickman was aired as a part of SyFy’s 31 Days of Halloween.  I really wish that SyFy would show more original films.  Years ago, they used to show a new movie every weekend.  Now, we only get original movies during Shark Week and October.  (And, this October, SyFy devoted one weekend time slot to Jeepers Creepers 3, directed by convicted and admitted pedophile, Victor Salva.  Seriously, what the Hell was up with that?)  Original SyFy films, like Stickman, are always fun to watch and live tweet so it really does seem, to me, that SyFy is missing an opportunity by not showing more of them.

Anyway, I enjoyed Stickman.  Sheldon Wilson has directed several SyFy films and he obviously know how to create and maintain a properly ominous atmosphere.  Stickman is full of dark shadows and sudden jump scares and, even if he is a bit of a familiar monster, the Stickman is genuinely creepy.  Though none of the characters are particularly complex, everyone goes a good job making enough of an impression that you can keep everyone straight.  If I really wanted to, I could probably devote another 500 words to picking apart the plot and citing every logical inconsistency but you know what?  That would be totally missing the point.  This is a horror movie.  It doesn’t have to always make sense, it just has to be entertaining.  In the end, Stickman was a fun movie for Halloween.  I wish SyFy would make more like it.

Music Video Of The Day: Need You by Dillon Francis & NGHTMRE (2016, dir by Jack Wagner)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s a day in the life of DJ Darren … no, wait, make that Dillon … Francis!

Now, the music doesn’t really start until about 2 minutes and 30 seconds into this video.  Before that, we get some mockumentary footage of DJ Dillon in the suburbs, trying to get a cigarette from a 17 year-old and explaining how he brings life to everything from “”birthdays, weddings, Quinceaneras, corporate event, block parties, and youth retreats” to apparently a suburban barbecue.

You may be tempted to mock DJ Dillon.  He definitely gives off a Brett Ratner vibe, which is never really a good thing.  (At this point, it’s always necessary to make sure that it’s understood I’m referring to the character that Dillon Francis is playing in this video and not necessarily Dillon Francis himself.)  But once he gets set up and start playing, Dillon transforms that suburban backyard into a bacchanal.  That’s the power of DJ Dillon.  Of course, the revelry soon turns into a drunken brawl and it appears that Dillon is responsible for destroying one person’s life but that’s life.

The video was directed by the meme lord himself, Jack Wagner.

Enjoy!

 

Music Video of the Day: Work Bitch by Britney Spears (2013, dir by Ben Mor)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was going to start this post by saying that my resolution for 2018 was to start every day by saying, “Work, bitch,” as I continued to make my dreams a reality.

Every day, when I looked in the mirror, I would say, “Work, bitch.”

Every day, when it was time to find a new adventure, I would say, “Work, bitch.”

Every day, when it was time to sit down and write, I would say, “Work, bitch.”

Every day, when I thought about how to make this site even better than it already is, I would say, “Work, bitch.”

No complacency for me!  No surrender!  No taking anything for granted!

Instead, every day, “Work, bitch.”

That really was going to be my resolution but then I realized that I already do that every day.  I’ve been saying, “Work, bitch,” every since this song first came out.  I don’t need a resolution to make myself work.  I already do that.

So, I guess my new resolution is to look in the mirror and say, “Relax, bitch.”

(For the record, bitch is a term of endearment and empowerment when I use it.)

Anyway, I like this video.  Britney whips her dancers into shape.  I may do the same thing with some of the people I work with this year.  Maybe that’s my 2018 resolution…

Enjoy!

(And Free Britney!)

What Lisa Watched Last Night #172: Web Cam Girls (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched one of the final Lifetime movies of 2017, Web Cam Girls!

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, the obvious answer is that I was watching it because it was on Lifetime and our regular readers know how much I love Lifetime!

However, from the minute that I saw the first commercial for Web Cam Girls, I grew convinced that it would be better than the average 2017 Lifetime film.  The commercials were just so melodramatic and wonderfully sordid.  If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that the best Lifetime films always seem to be about capitalizing on people’s fear of the dark web.  (Then again, people probably should be scared of the dark web…)

Finally, I knew that I was going to have to review this film just because of the title.  Now, whenever someone does a search for “web cam girls,” there’s a good chance they’ll end up on this site.  They’ll probably get mad once they arrive here but a click is a click.

What Was It About?

Carolyn (Lorynn York) needs money so she becomes a web cam girl.  Her cousin, Alex (Sedona Legge), says it’s a bad and dangerous idea but Carolyn claims that it’s actually the safest way to make money.  She never meets the men who watch her.  All she has to do is undress a little on camera and, pretty soon, she’ll be able to get an apartment in New York and make all of her dreams come true.

But then, one night, Carolyn gives in to temptation to agrees to meet one of her admirers in a sleazy motel.  She promptly vanishes, leaving Alex and their friend Shawn (Liam McKanna) to try to figure out what happened.  Was she kidnapped and, if so, by whom?  There are suspects all around and it’s starting to look like the only way Alex is going to find her is by going on camera herself.

What Worked?

Oh my God, Lifetime really did save the best for last!  After a year that left many longtime Lifetime viewers feeling somewhat disappointed, Lifetime finally gave us the type of movie that made us fall in love with the network in the first place.  Web Cam Girls is wonderfully melodramatic, over the top, and incredibly entertaining.  The houses are beautiful, the villain is perhaps one of the most evil characters to ever appear in a Lifetime film, and the whole thing is full of details that will reward the observant viewer.

For instance, Carolyn, Alex, and Shawn discuss watching Sunrise in film class.  Sunrise, of course, is a film about an innocent who is tempted by the sinful city, much in the same way that Carolyn and Alex are tempted by the sinful internet.  Later, another teacher tells Alex that he was impressed with her essay about H.P. Lovecraft.  References to both Lovecraft and F.W. Murnau in a Lifetime movie?  How can’t you love that?

It was also well-acted.  Stephen Graybill and Joe Hackett were memorable as two sinister teachers.  I liked both Jon Bridell as Carolyn’s drunk but ultimately heroic father and John Dinan as his best friend.  In the role of Carolyn’s mentor, Nikki, Tonya Kay made such a strong impression that a lot of us on twitter were demanding that Nikki get a spin-off film of her own.  Down to the smallest part, everyone made their character interesting.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

When I was in high school, I also used to dress in black and write essays about H.P. Lovecraft.

Lessons Learned

Beware the dark web!

 

Music Video of the Day: Scream & Shout by will.i.am featuring Britney Spears (2012, dir by Ben Mor)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone!

There will be much work to do tomorrow but for now let’s just scream and shout and let it all out…

(This song, by the way, is the unofficial anthem of the SBS, the best group of friends that anyone could hope to have.  LOVE YOU!)

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Luminary Ones by Rebecca & Fiona (2010, dir by Tim Erem)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s music video of the day comes from Sweden’s Rebecca & Fiona!

To be honest, I nearly picked a different Rebecca & Fiona video for today.  I nearly picked Dance, just because the title went well with how I’m planning on spending tomorrow night but, to be honest, Dance is a seriously dark video and I didn’t want to begin the last Saturday of 2017 on a down note.

So, I picked Luminary Ones, which I actually like a bit better than Dance.  If you know me or if you love French cinema, you will not be surprised to learn that one reason why I like this video is because it reminds me of a Jean Rollin film.

This video was directed by Tim Erem, who has directed videos for Tove Lo, Nick Jonas, and Rihanna.  The haunting cinematography is credited to Staffan Övgård.

Enjoy!

Catching Up With The Films of 2017: A Woman, A Part (dir by Elisabeth Subrin)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s a great montage during the first half of A Woman, A Part.

An actress named Anna (Maggie Siff) wanders around her home, reading scripts for tv shows and movies.  In between shots of her snorting cocaine, we listen as she reads dialogue aloud.  One of the scripts features her as a dying mother who, with her last words, asks her children to look after their father.  Another script is obviously from a Lifetime film and again, the role that Maggie reads is for a mother.  In another script, she’s a love interest.  And, in another, she’s just a bitchy authority figure.  As becomes obvious from the dialogue, none of the scripts offer her the chance to play a leading or even a fully developed character.  In each script, she’s either a plot device or a part of the scenery.  She reads a script, she does a line.  As she finishes each script, she tosses it into her pool until soon, the water is full of shallow characters and clichéd dialogue.  Soon, Anna is floating in the pool, surrounded by the debris of her career.

Anna moved to Los Angeles from New York.  In New York, she was all about theater and seeking truth through acting.  In Los Angeles, she has a role on a sitcom and a certain amount of fame.  People stare at her in restaurants.  Some ask for autographs.  Anna is exhausted, frustrated, and very aware that Hollywood has little to offer an actress in her 40s.

Anna escapes Los Angeles, heading back to New York.  She hopes to reunite with her former friends but, when she arrives, she discovers that some have moved on and some have not.  Her former acting partner, Kate (Cara Seymour), no longer considers herself to be an actress and resents Anna for having left their show to go to Los Angeles.  Playwright Isaac (John Ortiz) has written a play, one that centers around a flawed character who Anna immediately recognizes as being based on herself.

A Woman, A Part is the first full-length feature film to be directed by the video artist, Elisabeth Subrin.  It’s a flawed but promising debut.  For every moment that runs the risk of falling into cliché, there’s a sequence like that pool scene or the scenes where Kate and Anna deal with their fractured friendship.  It’s in those scenes between Maggie Siff and Cara Seymour that the film really comes alive.  When a fan approaches Anna while she’s talking to Kate and Anna responds by saying that everyone should be asking for Kate’s autograph, Kate rightly calls Anna out for her condescending attempt at kindness.  At the same time, the film is also honest enough in its characterizations to admit that much of Kate’s reaction is due to her own resentment that Anna found the success that Kate didn’t.  This is a film that realizes that friendships are often the most complex of relationships.  Maggie Siff and Cara Seymour both give honest and poignant performances.

As I said, A Woman, A Part is not without its flaws.  To be honest, the character of Isaac never interested me as much as Anna and Kate.  There are a few scenes which are just a little bit too on the nose.  It’s not a perfect film but it is a promising one and I look forward to seeing what Elisabeth Subrin does next.

 

 

Music Video of the Day: To The End by Blur (1994, directed by David Mould)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Actually, we haven’t quite made it to the end.  There’s still another weekend to go before 2017 turns into 2018.  However, considering that it’s going to be New Year’s weekend, I’m sure that many people will just remember it as being a blur.

(See what I did there?)

(Anyway….)

This video was shot in Prague in 1994 and, if it looks familiar, that’s probably because the video is an homage to the 1961 French New Wave film, Last Year at Marienbad.  (That said, while many of the visuals are taken straight from Marienbad, the subtitles are not.)  The voice that is heard signing in French belongs to Lætitia Sadier.  (Blur later recorded another version of this song with Françoise Hardy.)

The song itself deals with the end of a relationship but I find that it works well for the end of just about anything.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: How Soon Is Now? covered by t.A.T.u. (2003, dir by t.A.T.u.)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The song is by The Smiths but the cover version is by t.A.T.u., the Russian duo who became famous by allowing people to (falsely) assume that they were a couple.  When I first met my BFF Evelyn one of the things that we immediately bonded over was our shared appreciation for the absurdity of t.A.T.u.

(Men, we realized, will listen, watch, or pay for anything if there’s a chance they’ll get to see two hot girls kiss at some point during it.  That’s good information to have, by the way.)

As far as the cover goes, it’s not that bad.  t.A.T.u. has frequently been criticized for lacking vocal range but, here, that doesn’t really become an issue until the end of the song, when Julia struggles to make it through the part about waiting too long.  That said, I like this version.  It’s all about that guitar chord at the beginning.

As far as the video goes, it’s made up of a mix of footage of Julia and Lena performing on stage and some “candid” backstage stuff.  By “candid,” I mean obviously staged.  “Wow,” the viewer is supposed to say, “there’s Julia and … OH MY GOD, IT’S LENA!  THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER!  And now they’re in a hallway together!  And now they’re in the same bedroom!  Are they about to kiss … oh wait, we’ve cut to a different scene now…”

Here’s what Morrissey had to say when he was asked about t.A.T.u.’s cover:

Interviewer: Did you hear t.A.T.u’s version of ‘How Soon Is Now’?
Morrissey: Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don’t know much about them.
Interviewer: They’re the teenage Russian lesbians.
Morrissey: Well, aren’t we all?

Enjoy!

Playing Catch-Up With The Films of 2017: American Assassin (dir by Michael Cuesta)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Probably the best thing about American Assassin is how simple it is.

The film opens on the beach, with Mitch Rapp (Dylan O’Brien) asking his girlfriend to marry him.  No sooner has she accepted than suddenly, terrorists are washing up on the beach and, in a genuinely frightening scene, shooting everyone that they see.  Mitch is wounded.  His girlfriend is killed.

Mitch seeks revenge against the man who killed his “future wife” (to borrow a phrase from The Room) but U.S. Special Forces kill the terrorist seconds before Mitch gets the chance.  However, the CIA is so impressed, by Mitch’s single-minded and obsessive desire for revenge, that they recruit him to join Orion, a black ops unit.  Under the guidance of grizzled veteran, Stan Hurley (Michael Keaton), Mitch becomes an American assassin.  His first mission?  To stop a renegade mercenary known as the Ghost (Taylor Kitsch).

In many ways, American Assassin feels like a throwback to the action films of the early aughts.  There’s none of the moral ambiguity of the Bourne films and Mitch Rapp never indulges in any of the self-loathing that’s marred the Daniel Craig James Bond films.  Remember how Bond got drunk and tried to interrogate that rat in SPECTRE?  Judging from American Assassin, that’s something Mitch Rapp would never do.  And, if he ever did, Stan Hurley would probably tell him to stop whining and get back to work.

In American Assassin, the bad guys are undoubtedly the bad guys and the good guys are undoubtedly the good guys and, while that may not be the approach that leads to Academy Awards and overwhelming critical acclaim, it still makes for an undeniably entertaining movie.  Director Michael Cuesta does a good job with the action scenes and he gets good performances from the entire cast.  Taylor Kitsch is far more compelling as a villain than he ever was in any of his heroic roles and, not surprisingly, Michael Keaton steals the whole show as the tough but caring Stan Hurley.  Michael Keaton is definitely one of the best actors working today.  He can slide seamlessly from a prestige drama like Spotlight to an action film like American Assassin to a comic book film like Spider-Man: Homecoming and he can do it without missing a beat.  Those are three very different films and Keaton was the best thing in all of them.

And, finally, we have Dylan O’Brien.  Last year, as we all know, O’Brien was seriously injured while filming the third Maze Runner film.  At the time, it was announced that O’Brien’s injuries were “substantial but not life threatening” but I know there was a feeling that his career might be over.  Even though American Assassin was not his first film since getting injured, it was his first starring role and I have to admit that it was good to see O’Brien back and looking good.  O’Brien brought a lot of gravity to the role of Mitch Rapp.  He had the haunted look of a man obsessed with revenge.  When I saw O’Brien in The Maze Runner and, before that, in Teen Wolf, I thought he was a pleasant young actor but, in American Assassin, he gives his most mature performance to date.  With American Assassin, Dylan O’Brien grows up.

As I said, American Assassin is a simple film.  There’s not much going on beneath the surface and it you’re looking for anything deeper than pure entertainment, you might want to look elsewhere.  American Assassin is what it is and makes no apologies.  What it does, it does well.