Today’s song of the day is one that was used so memorably in An American Werewolf In London. From Creedence Clearwater Revival, here is Bad Moon Rising.
Bad Moon Rising
I see a bad moon rising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today.
Don’t go around tonight, Well, it’s bound to take your life, There’s a bad moon on the rise.
I hear hurricanes a-blowin’. I know the end is comin’ soon. I feel rivers overflowin’. I hear the voice of rage and ruin.
Don’t go around tonight, Well, it’s bound to take your life, There’s a bad moon on the rise. Alright!
Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we’re in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye.
Well, don’t go round tonight, Well, it’s bound to take your life, There’s a bad moon on the rise.
Don’t come around tonight, Well, it’s bound to take your life, There’s a bad moon on the rise.
This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films. I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.
Future serious actor Robert Vaughn made his film debut in 1958’s TeenageCaveman. Directed by Roger Corman, TeenageCaveman tells the story of a rebellious young man (that’s Robert Vaughn) who chooses to defy his father’s warnings and venture beyond the caves and into “the forbidden zone.” He’s told that monsters roam in the forbidden zone and indeed, at least one of them does. However, neither the Teenage Caveman nor his father are prepared for what lies at the heart of the forbidden zone.
(What will he find out there, Dr. Zaius?)
Robert Vaughn later said that, out of all the bad films that he made, this was the worst. Personally, I think he was being a bit too hard on the film. It’s not good but it is definitely fun. Along with watching all of the dinosaur stock footage, you get to wonder how a caveman — especially a teenage caveman! — could possibly have such perfect hair. Even more importantly, if you stick with it, this film has a twist ending that has to be seen to be believed.
In 2015’s Alison’sChoice, Chanel Marriott plays Alison.
Alison is a teenager who has a difficult relationship with her father. He holds back his emotions from her. She’s been left feeling insecure as a result and is perhaps a bit too dependent upon validation from other men. For instance, her no-good boyfriend, Rick (Julian Alexander), bullies her into having sex in his tiny car. When Alison later discovers that she’s pregnant, Rick’s response is to tell her to get rid of it. He tells her to go find a clinic and have an abortion and then talk to him later. Rick makes it clear that he will not paying for the procedure. He also leaves it up in the air as to whether or not he’ll even come to the clinic to support Alison.
Classy guy, that Rick.
At the clinic, Alison finds herself having doubts. Does she really want to get an abortion? The clinic’s rather harsh and antiseptic atmosphere doesn’t make things any easier. One nurse (Liz Randall) tries to pressure Alison to go through with her abortion. The doctor (Britt Prentice) confesses that he can’t guarantee that abortion isn’t murder. At the front desk, Ms. Glo (Bunny Gibson) asks Alison is she’s really sure she wants to go through with the procedure. A pushy social worker named Marta (Amy Lydon) assures Alison that it’s not big deal. Lecretia (Alicia Monet Caldwell) makes fun of Alison for being a first-timer.
And, of course, Jesus (Bruce Marchiano) shows up as a janitor and encourages Alison not to get an abortion. Actually, he encourages everyone all over the world not to get an abortion and, whenever anyone does, he starts crying. He says that he’s been working as a janitor since 1973. That, of course, was the year of Roe v Wade.
Bruce Marchiano has played Jesus in a number of films. He played Jesus in The Encounter, which is something of a guilty pleasure of mine. Marchiano has a calm and soothing voice and his eyes tend to radiate kindness, which makes him a good choice to play Jesus. From what I’ve seen of him in various faith-based productions, he’s not a bad actor at all. He can deliver his lines without looking straight at the camera and he’s capable of showing emotion. By the standards of many faith-based films, that makes him almost Brandoesque.
Unfortunately, Alison’sChoice is so heavy-handed and awkwardly acted by everyone else in the cast that Marchiano’s characteristically good and empathetic performance can’t really save it. I’m not going to get into the specifics of whether or not the film is correct about abortion, beyond saying that this is not a film that is going to change anyone’s mind about the issue. It’s a heavy-handed pro-life tract. (Then again, there’s also been more than a few heavy-handed pro-choice tracts.) What I will say is that Alison, as a character, is so indecisive and, quite frankly, annoying that it didn’t take me long to lose interest in her. Even after she becomes convinced that she’s actually talking to Jesus, she still can’t decide whether or not she loves her boyfriend. Girl, Jesus just told you that your boyfriend is no good. I don’t care what anyone thinks about abortion. If Jesus suddenly shows up and tells you to dump your boyfriend, you do it.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, we close out the Miss Bliss years.
Episode 1.13 “The Mentor”
(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on March 18th, 1989)
For some reason, Miss Bliss’s mentor — James Lyman (Robert Donner) — shows up at the school to visit his favorite student, Carrie Bliss. (Apparently, the very British Miss Bliss grew up in Indiana. I’m not saying it’s not possible, as her parents could have come over when Miss Bliss was still young. That said, it just seems odd that no one — not even her students — ever mention anything about Miss Bliss being British. It would seem like something Miss Bliss would have mentioned during all of those lessons about the Constitution and American history.) Mr. Lyman is retired but he agrees to substitute for Miss Bliss while she spends a week doing paperwork. (Most teachers would probably just have to suck it up and both teach and do paperwork during the week but not our Miss Bliss!)
This is one of those annoying episodes where Mr. Lyman is the unconventional teacher who gives the kids free hall passes and takes them on extended field trip without getting permission beforehand. Mr. Lyman makes learning fun! (Gag!) Miss Bliss gets upset because Mr. Lyman isn’t following her lesson plan and Mr. Lyman basically accuses Miss Bliss of being a sellout. For once, I’m on Miss Bliss’s side here. Mr. Lyman is a substitute. His job is to follow the lesson plan. If Miss Bliss doesn’t want him to handing out hall passes, that’s her right. It’s her class! And this whole thing of trusting the students not to abuse the hall pass? I would have totally abused a free hall pass. Everyone would abuse a free hall pass! I would laughed at any teacher dumb enough to give me a free hall pass. It’s almost as if the people who wrote this episode had absolutely no knowledge of how teenagers think. In the end, Mr. Lyman comes across as being an unlikable crank. The episode ends up with dressing up like Abraham Lincoln and showing up, unannounced, in Miss Bliss’s classroom. Seriously, someone call the cops on their weirdo.
Meanwhile, Nikki worries that boys don’t see her as being feminine. Lisa teachers her how to wear makeup. Next year, maybe Nikki and Zach….
Oh, wait a minute. Sorry, Zach, Mr. Belding, Screech, and Lisa are all moving to California. Nikki, Mickey, Miss Bliss, Ms. Palladino, Mylo are staying in Indiana. The Mentor was the final episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss. The Disney Channel canceled the show but producer Peter Engel took some of the cast over to NBC and launched Saved By The Bell. The Miss Bliss episodes would later be repackaged for syndication with Zach saying, “I remember this time in Junior High…..” I remember changing the channel whenever I realized a Miss Bliss episode was starting.
We’ll start Saved By The Bell next week. Finally, the tyranny of Miss Bliss is over.
Eh. I’m not really interested in Melissa’s adventures as a sixth grade teacher. As well, Tariq really hasn’t been amusing since the end of the first season. I worry this show is reaching the “treading water” phase of its existence.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday, Fox)
After a week of commercials that implied the police would be showing up at Hell’s Kitchen to arrest one of the chefs, this week’s episode featured the cops showing up at Hell’s Kitchen so the chefs could make them breakfast. I wasn’t really surprised. Hell’s Kitchen has always been shameless about doing stuff like that. That’s actually a part of the show’s appeal. As for this week’s episode, everyone appears to be remarkably incompetent. I wouldn’t accept a meal from any of these people.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
Another week, another murder. Once again, Maroun was upset over having to do her job. The law half of this show is usually pretty good but the order half is awful. Nolan is such a wimp. Maroun should have been fired the first time she ever suggested allowing a criminal to go free.
Ozark Law (Hulu)
I guess this show ran on A&E earlier this year. I watched the first episode on Hulu. It was a reality show about cops in small town Missouri. They had to deal with a bunch of people hanging out at the lake for the Fourth of July weekend. It was the usual stuff. The cops arrested a woman for having an expired license. A man’s house was burglarized. The male cops were all heavily tattooed and bearded. The female cops all looked like the hyper-religious girl from high school who would judge you for wearing a short skirt. All the cops had that terse cop way of speaking.
The Prisoner (Nightflight Plus)
Jeff and I watched the final episode of this 60s show on Friday night. I’ll miss Rover.
Special Force: World’s Toughest Test (Fox, Thursday Night)
Jussie Smollett has left the show so what even is the point now?
Tonight’s episode of Hammer House of Horror features antiques and cults! It’s a like a very British version of Friday the 13h: The Series. This episode is not necessarily one of my favorite episodes of this series. I always find the ending to be disappointing. The said, it does feature an intriguing story and a cast of Hammer veterans.
This episode originally aired on November 15th, 1980.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be purchased on Tubi.
This week, Hobie’s a snitch!
Episode 1.1 “In Deep”
(Dir by Peter H. Hunt, originally aired on September 22nd, 1989)
Hobie, you idiot!
Mitch’s young son is spending the summer with his father and he’s supposed to be concentrating on summer school. Instead, he hanging out with two older guys, Scott (Christopher Murphy) and Ron (Lance Gilbert), and basically letting himself be used as a slave in return for jet ski lessons.
Mitch is not a fan of jet skis. They’re unregulated and they’re dangerous, he says. As if to prove Mitch’s point, Scott collides with a windjammer! The woman on the windjammer is killed. (Craig and Eddie pull her body out of the ocean, which is the type of sad thing that Baywatch would eventually stop featuring.) Hobie, realizing Scott is guilty, tries to find the evidence to prove it and nearly gets himself killed as a result. Fortunately, Mitch is able to save him and Scott is arrested. I have to say that, after this episode, I kind of found myself agreeing with Mitch’s ex-wife. The beach is too dangerous!
Meanwhile, Craig caught Eddie sleeping in his lifeguard tower and realized that Eddie, who I assume is getting paid to be a lifeguard, doesn’t have a home. Did he ever have a home? Has he been sleeping on the beach all this time? How did he apply for Lifeguard School without an address? Anyway, Craig takes Eddie back to his Venice loft, where Craig’s wife (now played by Holly Gagnier, replacing the pilot’s Gina Hecht) decides that they should let Eddie rent their storage room. It’s even got a view of the beach, if you ignore all the other buildings in the way and instead just find that one unobstructed alley to look down. (Actually, Eddie finding and looking down that alley was cute and likable. He was so excited!) I have to say that, for a lawyer, Craig’s loft really sucked. It was pretty impressive for a lifegaurd, though.
So begins the monologue that serves as the centerpiece of the 1955 Ed Wood film, Bride of the Monster. The monologue is delivered by Bela Lugosi, appearing in one of his final roles.
Far too often, people tend to be snarky about the work that Lugosi did under the direction of Ed Wood. But you know what?
He actually delivers a pretty good performance in Bride of the Monster.
Ignore all of the stuff about atomic supermen and instead, just pay attention to the way Lugosi delivers the lines. Pay attention to the pain in his voice as he says that he has no home. Pay attention and you’ll discover that Lugosi actually gave a good performance in Bride of the Monster. He delivers the lines with such wounded pride that you can’t help but think that maybe we should let him create a race of atomic supermen.
Among the old horror icons, Lugosi has always been the most underrated actor. He got typecast early and he appeared in some unfortunate films but Bela Lugosi had real talent and you can see it in this scene.
Through the Shattered Lens 