Author Archives: casewright

Elevator Man, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I knew that I had to review an Alex Magana film. Afterall, he makes them … on purpose and I’m sure that I’ve been wrong about things … maybe? But, not these films. This is going to be terrible because you can’t fix this, but we’ll get through this together. Maybe.

A woman is taking the elevator in a parking garage, but all of the buttons are pressed. Every time the door opens, who’s there – yep, Elevator Man. He appears to be Amish. He’s aggressively Amish; for real, check out this Amish vibe. Maybe, Rumspringa took a dark left turn?

I think you can survive Elevator Man, if you just throw a zipper at him; he’ll be confounded for weeks…weeks!

She sees him on every floor. She gets to the 5th floor and he’s waiting for her; so, she goes to the roof and he’s now in the elevator and really slowly grabs her like really slowly. You could’ve just walked to your car and he’d be like “A Car?”. Then, you drive away to safety and he goes back to selling well-made furniture.

Stall, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I was not able to relate too much to this film because I don’t spend a lot of time in bathrooms. In this film, women are in the bathroom, try to leave, and are confronted by a demon; so, they hide in the stall, which works … I guess?

All I can write is that this was a film that was made…on purpose. You must have better things to do than watch this.

The Speaker From Hell, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I describe True Fiction Pictures as sort of Christian. The production company is not explicitly Christian, but they have Christian themes. They swear a lot and have jokes that are based in edgy things, but there is a moral lesson in these comedies. In fact, they quote the bible at the end of the film.

This film depicts a motivation speaker who makes a hard left turn, accuses one of the attendees of being a Hellbound sinner, and the sinner vows to repent. It was funny and kind of scary, trust me.

I put this in the Christian film camp. If you think about it, – it had bad language and adult humor that might be a great vehicle to get a lot of people to watch a Christian film and learn a lesson who would never seek out a Christian film. I do not claim to fully understand this production company, but the film had humor, a clear Christian message, and I was thoroughly entertained.

Like New, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Like New is another short film from High Low productions, which specializes in terrible short films. I can only imagine the business plan! They also made The Call … on purpose.

The protagonist is dressing up his mannequin and then taking photos. Out of nowhere, she now has her arms up. Oh No! The mannequin is also now moving on her own or at least sliding. Then, the mannequin puts the Whammy on him; so, he becomes a mannequin! The ending is fair because he did not say, No Whammies!

Uh Oh, she forgot to say, No Whammies!

Like New will hopefully get us to a world without Whammy-related tragedy!

Hands Off, Micro Short Film Review by Case Wright

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As of now, this micro short has only been viewed 71 times. I haven’t seen this yet, but I am slightly hopeful that it won’t be hot garbage. Here we go!

This short is only 2 minutes and 18 seconds and he starts with…exposition. UGHHGH.

The protagonist, who I will refer to as Mr. Exposition-pants, is walking in the woods on his phone and explaining in great detail why he is there. Apparently, Mr. Exposition-pants took a photography class and is now taking pictures in the woods. Got all that? If not, please rewind and he’ll go over it again for 25% of the film’s total length!

Mr. Exposition-pants finds a severed hand and calls the police? No, he takes a photo and sees another hand that has a note that reads – “Delete that photo”. He does eventually call the police and it’s a demon on the other end. Then, I couldn’t understand what was happening.

You could watch this film or literally do ANYTHING else.

Polaroid, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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We begin with a Gen-Z guy going through old boxes and he finds a polaroid camera. He starts taking pictures and sees a demon in the photograph. So, he decides to move out and flees for his safety with just the clothes on his back. Or, he gets out and chases content on youtube to get rich. Instead of all of those smart things, he takes another photo.

When confronted with a demon from another dimension, which you are slowly unleashing into our world, and are being not at all concerned with the well-being of anyone else who could be affected by your shenanigans, it’s PICTURE TIME! You’re gonna Ansel Adams on this B!%#&H!

See, she would’ve taken photos of the demon

I just did not care that this protagonist died. What a gigantic tool! I have a headline for this one:
Gigantic Tool Dies By Stupid.

Monitor, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Ok, sometimes shorts are dull, great, or a downer. Monitor is a downer. Don’t watch it. It’s terrible. It’s not bad in a good bad way. It’s just a bummer.

Two tired parents watching a baby and an evil spirit takes and kills the parents. I told you so. Monitor is a downer.

Sidenote: anyone who says the greatest words are “I love you” has never felt the unadulterated rush of justifiably saying “I told you so”.

Look Up, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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AI is not always great. I do use it a lot for patent-related work, legal questions, and drafting legal documents. However, for AI to be a tool- you can’t be one. A guy jogs in casual Friday gear, he gets shot with a tree dart, hallucinates, and is kidnapped by a large bat-crow. I never thought about making something boring. Maybe, my writing is not always great, but I don’t think it’s boring.

If the apocalypse is this boring, I pass. Maybe it’s just crow-related apocalypses that are boring? I’m not sure, but this was 4 minutes of my life that was stolen from me. Just stolen!

Delivered, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Why am I supposed to care about this woman? Ok, she lives alone and she ordered food. Maybe, the guy delivered the food to the inside of her house. But how?
She was at the door and there was no way he could’ve gotten past her and she didn’t have headphones on.

Is he a ghost delivery driver? If so, score! No tip! I’m not tipping a dead guy and neither should you. I think that I’m going to review AI again because people are really disappointing me!

The Call, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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If a man wakes up in the woods and no one cares, did a film even happen? Well sadly, this film was made because we don’t have quality control over whom gets to use the iPhone video camera app. We really need some punishment, if you make a film like this. I’m NOT saying beatings…BUT what if we don’t break the skin?

A man wakes up in the woods and a monster who mimics human voices chases him. I understand that some of you are thinking Appalachian horror, but you can’t because you will only encourage him and filmmakers like him. We can’t let this become a trend. Just, NO! We already have Alex Magana; he exists- AMONG US! If we get together, we could devise a plan to hide this man’s phone: PROBLEM SOLVED!