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Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.3 “Valley Go Home!”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch and Jon go to the beach!

Episode 3.3 “Valley Go Home!”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired September 29th, 1979)

There’s been a string of thefts at the beach.  Someone is stealing radios out of cars and then making a fast getaway.  Somehow, this thief is able to blend in so well with everyone else that no one even notices him breaking into the cars until it’s too late.  Jon and Ponch have been assigned to patrol the beach and keep the radios safe.

Of course, Jon and Ponch don’t just worry about radio thieves.  When two women lose control of their car while towing a sailboat, Jon and Ponch are there to not only help them stop the car but also to ask them out on a windsurfing date.  (Every episodes of CHiPs found a way to promote the so-called “California lifestyle.”  It was probably one of the most effective tourism commercials ever filmed.  I don’t even swim and this episode still made me want to go wind surfing.)  They also get involved in the rivalry between three local white surfers and a group of Latino teenagers from the Valley.  Both groups drive Chevy vans with ornate decals.  One gets the feeling that the blonde surfers call their van the “Second Base Mobile.”

This is an episode of CHiPs that takes place at the beach so you’ve probably already guessed that it doesn’t take long for Ponch to find an excuse to put on a speedo.  Baker and Ponch not only work together but they also hang out together.  On the show, they’re best friends.  (Behind-the-scene, Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada were not quite so close.)  They spend a lot of time at the beach, eating ice cream.  Baker wears modest swim trunks.  Ponch walks around in his speedo and shows off his dazzling smile.  One gets the feeling that, if this episode had been made in 1999 instead of 1979, Ponch would have been handing out AOL CDs to everyone he met and saying, “When you sign up, I get fifteen free minutes to talk to you.”

Ponch has a theory that the radio thief is disguising himself as someone who works at the beach.  (Needless to say, Ponch comes up with the theory while Baker agrees because, on CHiPs, everything was much pretty much about Ponch.)  Ponch suspects that the thief might be the local ice cream man.  Ponch and Baker eat a lot of ice cream in this episode.  Eventually, it turns out to be the local trash collector.  The ice cream man is off the hook!

As far as the surfers and the Valley kids are concerned, it all works out.  Of course, it works out in the most dangerous way possible, with the surfers and the Valley kids chasing each other in their vans and both crashing their vehicles.  After 48 hours in jail, all of them are back on the beach.  The surfers agree to teach the Valley kids how to handle a board.  The Valley kids agree to take the surfers to Mexico.  Ponch and Jon have a good laugh before going windsurfing.  How can you not love California?

This was a pretty silly episode but the beach scenery was nice.  It’s hard for me to not enjoy a show that features not one but two vans.  All hail the 70s!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.12 “Down For The Count: Part One”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Miami Vice says goodbye to a friend.

Episode 3.12 “Down For The Count: Part One”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on January 9th, 1987)

Larry Zito finally gets his own episode!

Played by John Diehl, Larry Zito was a part of the show from the very beginning.  Occasionally, it’s easy to forget that Diehl was a part of the ensemble because his character was rarely given anything to do and we rarely learned that much about Zito.  He was Switek’s partner and he seemed to have a quirky sense of humor.  Occasionally, he had long hair and a beard and he seemed to enjoy wearing elaborate disguises while working undercover.  That said, Zito was always a bit of an enigma.  Even the rare episodes that centered on the Switek/Zito partnership seemed to feature Zito mostly in the background.

In this episode, though, we finally learn a bit about Zito.  We learn that he has a background as a boxer and he’s good at training other fighters.  We learn that he takes it seriously whenever he hears about a crooked promoter manipulating a boxer.  We learn that Zito is a recovering alcoholic.  In this episode, we learn that Zito is more than just goofy comic relief.  He’s got a heart as gold.  When the Vice Squad investigates a crooked promoter named Guzman (Pepe Serna), Zito takes it upon himself to train an up-and-coming boxer named Bobby Sykes (Mark Breland).  Bobby’s previous trainer (played by Randall “Tex” Cobb) was a friend of Zito’s and was murdered by Guzman.  For Zito, this case is personal.  He even helps Bobby win a championship.  Yay, Zito!  That’s not bad for a supporting character!

Unfortunately, this also leads to Zito dying.  After the fight, Zito is confronted by Guzman and his men.  Switek later finds Zito’s body in the gym with a hypodermic needle sticking out of his arm.  Guzman gave Zito a fatal overdose of heroin.

This really depressed me!  I mean, Zito finally gets a chance to handle a serious case and, even more importantly, John Diehl finally gets a chance to show off the fact that he’s a very good actor and then, at the end of the episode, Zito’s dead!  Poor Zito!

(From what I’ve read, John Diehl wanted off the show because he felt his role was underwritten and he also preferred doing theater to weekly television.  That’s understandable.  At least he got one turn in the spotlight before he was written off the show.)

Needless to say, this episode is dominated by the death of Zito.  The scene with a tearful Switek cradling Zito’s dead body makes such an impression that it’s easy to forget that this episode also featured the odd spectacle of Don King playing Mr. Cash, an ex-con turned honest fight promoter who disapproves of Guzman’s tactics.  Somehow, Don King being the voice of integrity makes sense in the topsy-turvy world of Miami Vice.  King says that Guzman is in Miami because it’s a brand new territory and a place where anyone can make it rich.  That’s been one of the recurring themes of this show since it began.  Anything can happen in Miami.  Including Larry Zito dying….

Give me a moment to wipe away the tears.  Seriously, the end of this episode really depressed me!

Next week, Switek is out for revenge.  I hope he gets it!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 4.6 “Nobody’s Perfect”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

Oh Romeo, Romeo….

Episode 4.6 “Nobody’s Perfect”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on December 5th, 1989)

This week’s episode is all about relationships, good and bad.

Patrick (Vincent Walsh), a student from Ireland, sees that Spike is wearing a Pogues t-shirt and asks her out.  Spike replies that she wants to but she can’t because she has to take care of baby Emma at night.  Patrick suggests a day date instead.  Spike agrees, even if she’s still struggling to deal with her feelings about Shane.

(Shane, having suffered brain damage after a bad LSD trip, is not enrolled at Degrassi High.  We won’t see him again until the third season premiere of Degrassi: The Next Generation.)

Meanwhile, despite having broken up with him so that she can date “Clode,” Caitlin still volunteers to be Joey’s scene partner for home room.  They’re supposed to perform a scene from Romeo and Juliet and …. yeah, there’s no way that’s going to be awkward, right?  Caitlin tells Joey that, even though they’ve broken up, she hopes they can still be friends.  Joey awkwardly says, “Yeah.”  They talk about why they broke up.  Caitlin even says, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  Those of us who know our Degrassi history know that this is a scene that’s going to be frequently repeated over the next twenty years or so.

Finally, Kathleen has convinced herself that she’s totally in love with Scott.  Afterall, Scott is always telling Kathleen how much he loves her.  He gives her jewelry.  He sends her flowers.  He wants her to spend all of her free time with him.  Of course, when Scott isn’t doing all of that, he’s beating on her and telling her that she’s stupid for wanting to have any interests outside of being his girlfriend.  When Kathleen is disappointed to discover that she hasn’t been cast in the school play, Scott informs her that she’s just not a very good actress and she shouldn’t worry about it.  When Kathleen says that she wants to try out for a play at the community center, Scott tells her that she needs to make time for him.  When Kathleen tries to have lunch with her friends, Scott drags her away so that she can have lunch with him.  When Kathleen stays after school to practice a scene with her scene partner (who happens to be Luke, the guy who gave Shane the acid), Scott goes absolutely crazy and beats her up in the classroom.

“Kathleen,” Scott insists as Kathleen finally walks away from him, “I love you!”

Kathleen turns to look at him.  We get a freeze frame of her bruised face and then the insanely cheerful Degrassi theme music starts playing.  It makes for an interesting juxtaposition.  (Combining cheerful music with depressing freeze frames was a Degrassi tradition.)

This episode deserves a lot of credit for realistically portraying Kathleen and Scott’s relationship and Scott’s abusive personality.  Everything that an abuser does — from the gaslighting to the subtle insults and the sudden accusations to the desperate begging for forgiveness — is present in this episode and Kathleen’s reactions (“I can change him!”) are all too real.  Degrassi High was a show that dealt with real issues and it usually managed to do it without resorting to melodrama or false hope.  The thing that makes this episode so powerful is that we don’t know if Kathleen had the courage to reject Scott after that freeze frame or, if like so many other girls and women in the same situation, she once again forgave her abuser.  Rebecca Haines deserves a lot of credit for her performance here, as does Byrd Dickens, who is terrifying as Scott.  This episode was Degrassi High at its best and most important.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on The Street 2.2 “See No Evil”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, no one’s innocent.

Episode 2.2 “See No Evil”

(Dir by Christopher Menual, originally aired on January 13th, 1994)

Watch out!  Stanley Bolander’s whining about his divorce again!

Ned Beatty was one of the great character actors and he is certainly convincing in the role of Stanley Bolander, the veteran Baltimore homicide detective who has seen the worst that humanity has to offer and who spends most of his time annoyed with his partner, John Munch.  But, as good as Beatty is, I still groan whenever Bolander starts to talk about his ex-wife and his divorce.  His bitterness was a recurring theme during the first season.  It was annoying but it was understandable because the divorce was still recent.

But now, we’ve started the second season.  It’s time move on, Big Man!

This episode finds Bolander very reluctantly taking part in sensitivity training.  He avoids meeting with Dr. Carrie Weston (Jennifer Mendenhall) until Giardello threatens to suspend him without pay.  Bolander is stunned when Dr. Weston turns out to be sympathetic to his anger over his divorce.  Bolander ever tries to ask Dr. Weston out, just for Weston to inform him that she’s just gotten out of a bad relationship and that she believes “birds of a feather should flock together” and, speaking of birds, did you know that there are lesbian seagulls?  Bolander gets the hint.  Myself, I would probably lie about being a lesbian just to get out of having to spend any more time listening to him cry about his divorce.

Far more interesting than Bolander’s angst were the two cases at the center of this week’s episode.  Chuckie Prentice (Michael Chaban) shoots his dying father (played, in a powerful and intimidating performance, by Wilford Brimley) in the head.  Though Chuckie claims that his father committed suicide, Lewis has his doubts and takes Chuckie to the station for interrogation.  Detective Beau Felton just happens to be Chuckie’s best friend and, after Chuckie tells him that his father specifically asked to be put out of his misery, Felton tries to convince Lewis to say that the shooting actually was a suicide.  At first, Lewis refuses but eventually, he agrees to look the other way while Felton takes Chuckie to wash his hands and destroy any evidence of gunpowder residue on his skin.  Without any definite evidence proving the he fired the gun, Chuckie is free to go and his father’s death is ruled a suicide.

This was a powerful story and it was all the more effective because it refused to come down on one side or the other.  Both Felton and Lewis presented their positions well and the episode ended not on a note of triumph but on a note of weary resignation.  Chuckie is free to go on with his life and his father is no longer in pain but Lewis is going to be haunted by his decision to allow evidence to be destroyed.  Personally, I’m against assisted suicide and I felt it was selfish for Chuckie’s father to ask Chuckie to pull the trigger.  But, having spent the previous few months trying to come to terms with my own father’s passing, I could understand what Chuckie was feeling.  There really are no easy answers.

As for the other case, it involved the shooting of a drug dealer.  The dealer was shot in the back.  A patrolman claimed that he slipped and his gun accidentally fired during the pursuit of the dealer.  Pembleton had his doubts about whether the shooting was really an accident or a case of police brutality.  Even after Giardello warned him that pursuing the case would turn “brother against brother” in the police force, Pembleton insisted on asking every police officer on the scene to turn in their guns for testing.  “You son of a bitch, Pembleton,” Giardello muttered.

And again, this was a storyline that worked because it refused to present an easy solution.  The dead man was a criminal and he was shot while fleeing the cops.  Even though the cop that slipped was eventually cleared of having fired the shot that killed the dealer, it was obvious that the shot did come from a cop.  Pembleton, with his black-and-white view of his job, was determined to find the truth, regardless of the professional consequences.  Giardello, with years more experience than Pembleton, spoke from the heart when he told Pembleton that investigating the case would bring harm not just to the cop who shot the dealer but to every cop working the streets, regardless of whether they were involved or not.  Felton could convince Lewis to look the other way.  Pembleton was not willing to do the same thing.

It was a strong episode, even with all of Bolander’s nonsense.  Perfectly acted, morally ambiguous, and fiercely intelligent, this is an episode that I’ll be thinking about for a while.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 3.2 “Hey, Take Me Over”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, Howard continues to dream of a better job.  Good luck with that, Howard.

Episode 3.2 “Hey, Take Me Over”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on  October 10th, 1987)

Cobb’s has been sold!  Because the new owner is a huge corporation that owns several luxury resorts, Howard convinces himself that he’s going to be promoted to running a hotel in Tahiti.  (Howard’s background in hotel management has been one of the few consistent things in Check It Out.)  Instead, corporate vice president T.C. Collingwood (Elizabeth Hanna) comes down to the store and tells Howard that he needs to start wearing a smock that says “Howie, Store Manager” on it.

Howard does what any reasonably immature, 50ish man would do.  He quits.  But then Edna explains that Howard will lose his pension if he quits so Howard decides that maybe wearing the smock won’t be so bad.  “You’re throwing away your future,” Edna says at one point, as if Howard isn’t clearly approaching the age when most people retire.

This episode really drove home one of the biggest issues with Check It Out!, which is that Howard was written to be an ambitious man in his 40s but he was played by Don Adams who, when the show began, was already in his 60s.  Now, it should be admitted that Adams looked about ten years younger than his actual age but still, Howard comes across as a bit too old to still be fantasizing about suddenly changing careers.  There’s a principle that everyone rises to their level of incompetence.  They keep getting promoted until they reach a job they can’t do and then, they get stuck there.  Howard’s level of incompetence appears to be working as a general manager of a grocery store.

Howard eventually does put on the smock and agrees to keep working at his job.  What’s odd about this is that Howard was already wearing the smock during the previous episode.  Obviously, the episodes that made up the final season of Check It Out! were not aired in their intended order.

For all of the flaws to be found in this episode, it was still better than the majority of the second season.  It would appear that, with season 3, the show’s producers and writers finally settled on Howard being an incompetent manager and the store being a mess.  That’s definitely the right way to go.  When it comes to workplace sitcoms, incompetence is always funnier than hypercompetence.  (Just consider the U.S. version of The Office, in which the funniest episodes featured the office in chaos and the cringiest episodes were always the ones the centered on how good Jim was at selling paper.)  No one respects Howard and Howard has no idea how to do his job.  That’s a lot funnier than whatever the second season was trying to do.

Finally, I should mention that T and T‘s Sean Roberge has a small role in this one, playing the new bagboy.  If I’ve learned anything from doing these retro television reviews, it’s that, in the late 80s, syndicated Canadian television shows really did seem to share the same small pool of actors.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/29/24 — 1/4/25

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s a new year but there’s still much to watch.  Here’s some thoughts on what I viewed during the first week of 2025!

CHiPs (Prime)

Freevee may be dead but CHiPs continues on Prime.  My reviews of the show will return on Monday.

Cobra Kai (Netflix)

I watched the 2nd part of the final season of Cobra Kai on Friday.  I know the regular complaint about Cobra Kai is that every season is pretty much the same and there’s actually some validity to that comment.  But I don’t care.  It’s a fun show and William Zabka is a joy to watch.  From the start, I know this latest set of episodes would end with yet another huge brawl but, at this point, I’d be disappointed if they didn’t.  The showrunners know exactly why people watch this show.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I have been watching this atmospheric German show on Netflix.  This week, we finished up the first three episodes.  Case has watched the show before.  He said it would appeal to my “analytical mind” and so far, he’s very much correct about that!  I’m enjoying uncovering the mysteries of this macabre mystery.

Days of Our Lives (Peacock)

On Saturday, I got caught up with Days of Our Lives on Peacock.  One thing that I like about this show is that you can go for six months without watching and still feel like you can jump right back into the storylines when you come back!  I enjoyed watching all of the citizens of Salem celebrate Christmas and New Year’s.  And I’m glad to see that Patch is still with us.

Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest (Tuesday Night/Wednesday Morning, ABC)

Jeff and I spent New Year’s Eve at my BFF Evelyn’s annual “Screw The Year That Was” party.  The big annual countdown was playing on the television in one of the rooms at Evelyn’s place and I glanced in on the show occasionally.  I’ve never really gotten into any of the televised New Year’s Eve celebrations.  I don’t really have the attention span for them.  I just find it interesting that it’s still Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, even though Mr. Clark passed away quite some time ago.  It’s like Ryan Seacrest is a medium or something, letting us hear from Dick Clark from beyond the grave.

Going Dutch (Thursday Night, Fox)

After getting barraged by commercials for this show on an almost nonstop basis, I felt as if I had to watch the premiere.  Denis Leary plays an army officer sent to enforce discipline on a base in the Netherlands.  The base’s former commander?  His daughter!  I was glad that this show didn’t use the tired mockumentary format that is so popular nowadays but, overall, it still didn’t do too much for me.  The mix of family drama and goofy humor just didn’t work,

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Hell’s Kitchen returned this week, with both Joe and Anne-Marie being eliminated from the competition.  Like Chef Ramsay, I was surprised that Joe didn’t last long enough to receive a black jacket.  As for Anne-Marie, she probably should have been eliminated weeks ago.  She’s just too scatterbrained to be the head chef.  (For the record, she would still do a better job in the position than I ever would!)

King of the Hill (Hulu)

On Sunday, after the news broke about the death of Jimmy Carter, my sister Megan and I watched the episode of King of the Hill in which Carter attempted to broker peace between Hank and his father.  It turned out to be too big a job for even Jimmy.  This was a classic episode and it featured one of my favorite King of the Hill lines.  Upon meeting Carter, Hank says, “You ran our country …. (voice filled with reverence) America.”

Miami Vice (Prime)

I got back to watching Miami Vice this week.  Watch for my review on Monday!

Saved By The Bell (Prime)

I wasn’t feeling well on Sunday night so Megan and I watched a few episodes from the Ms. Bliss era.  We both agreed that Ms. Bliss was kind of a bitch.

The Twilight Zone (SyFy, Tuesday and Wednesday)

I caught a few episodes of the annual New Year’s marathon.  This is a classic show and I always try to find times to catch my favorites, like The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street, Eye Of The Beholder, Shadowplay, and that one with the nurse saying, “Room for one more, honey!”

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 4.12 “A Little Fright Music”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

Welcome back to Brooklyn.

Episode 4.12 “A Little Fright Music”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on December 2nd, 1978)

Sick and tired of Mr. Woodman insisting on ending the monthly “Parents’ night” meeting by singing the old and outdated school song, Freddie takes it upon himself to rewrite the school song.  He keeps the original melody but updates the lyrics to make it clear that Buchanan High is a “groovy alma mater.”  When recording star J. Bubba-Hampton (Sip Culler) overhears Freddie singing the song, he decides he wants to buy it and release a disco version on his next album,

The only problem is that Woodman wrote the original song and, since Freddie kept the melody, Freddie has to get Woodman to sign off on selling the new version of the song.  At first, Woodman refuses but then he realizes that he could make a lot of money off the deal.  Woodman agrees and puts on a scarf and sunglasses.  He’s a star now, after all.

For some reason, J. Bubba-Hampton agrees to bring the contracts over to the Kotter apartment so that Woodman and Freddie can sign.  However, when Bubba-Hampton mentions that Woodman actually plagiarized the song from a 1930s tune written by Irvine Russell, Woodman is stunned.  It turns out that Woodman had no idea that he did that. Woodman feels that it would be unethical to sell the song.  Freddie agrees.  J. Bubba-Hampton says, “I’ll just have to find another song for my album,” and leaves the apartment.  Julie suggests that maybe the school could have two songs.  Everyone ignores her.  Gabe then says that maybe the school could have two songs and everyone agrees.  The look of absolute hatred that Julie directed towards Gabe was one of the funniest things about this episode.

For a fourth season episode of this show, A Little Fright Music was not that bad.  For one thing, it featured Mr. Kotter from beginning to end and, watching this episode, I realized that, even if he wasn’t exactly the greatest actor in the world, Gabe Kaplan’s presence really was one of the keys to the show’s earlier success.  Kaplan was naturally funny whereas Marcia Strassman, who filled the role that Kaplan normally would have filled for many of the fourth season episodes, was not.  This episode also gave John Sylvester White and Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs a chance to take center stage.  John Sylvester White’s unhinged Woodman has always been one of the best things about this show.

Horshack is not present in this episode and he’s not missed.  Unfortunately, Barbarino is also not present.  Seriously, this would have been a perfect episode for Barbarino.  Julie is also present, which means we get another chance to watch Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman struggle to pretend to like each other.  Julie’s new short haircut always makes it appear as if Kotter has divorced his wife and is now sharing his apartment with a teenage boy.

Gabe gets to tell a joke at the end of this episode.  His Uncle Seymour dug up Schubert to see if he could find the Lost Symphony.  Shubert said, “Go away.  Can’t you see I’m decomposing?”

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday The 13th 2.22 “Wedding Bell Blues”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, we meet Johnny Ventura!

Episode 2.22 “Wedding Bell Blues”

(Dir by Jorge Montesi, originally aired on May 15th, 1989)

With Ryan and Jack out of town, it falls to Micki to retrieve a cursed pool cue stick.  Helping her out, despite all of her attempts to convince him to get lost, is Johnny Ventura (Steve Monarque), a friend of Ryan’s who Ryan hired to help search for the cue stick.  Even after Johnny finds out that the item has been cursed by Satan and Micki’s entire life currently revolves around supernatural violence, Johnny wants to not only help out but to also stick around, just because he likes Micki.  Micki might want to tell him about all of her previous boyfriends who have all died as a result of getting involved in the search for cursed antiques.

I understand that Johnny is going to eventually replace Ryan on the show, starting with the third season.  This episode isn’t particularly subtle about setting Johnny up as a Ryan substitute, though Johnny’s crush on Micki is a bit less cringey than Ryan’s.  (Ryan is Micki’s cousin, which is something that the show often seems to overlook.)  Johnny is established as being a cocky guy who is willing to break the rules.  In other words, he’s just like every other guy who has ever been a lead character on a show like this.  One of the stranger things about Johnny is that everyone keeps referring to him as being a “kid,” even though he looks like he’s older than just about everyone else on the show.

As for the cursed pool cue, it belongs to Jennifer (Elizabeth Maclellan), a waitress at a seedy bar.  She wants to marry Danny (Louis Ferreira), a self-centered pool player who treats her terribly.  Jennifer is convinced that Danny is just worried about winning the upcoming pool tournament so she impales people with the cursed pool cue.  Each time Jennifer kills someone, the next game that Danny plays is his best ever.  Jennifer is slightly sympathetic because she’s convinced that Danny will marry her right after he wins the tournament and she’s too insecure to see what a cad he is.  (She’s also pregnant, though Danny doesn’t know it.)  When Jennifer’s sister (played, in a very early role, by Lolita Davidovich) says that Danny is never going to marry her, Jennifer refuses to believe it.  When Jennifer discovers that her sister is sleeping with Danny, Jennifer has found her next victim.

It’s really not that interesting of a curse but then again, this episode is more concerned with introducing the character of Johnny Ventura than with anything else.  Unfortunately, at least in this episode, Johnny really isn’t that compelling of a character.  This was a bit of a disappointing episode but who knows?  Maybe Johnny Ventura will grow on me.

Next week, Micki and Ryan go to the ballet!  Yay!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.6 “Legionnaires: Part One”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, Peter White continues to disappoint everyone.

Episode 1.6 “Legionnaires: Part One”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on December 7th, 1982)

Dr. Peter White (Terence Knox) is perhaps the most incompetent doctor at St. Eligius.  Over the course of the first few episodes, we have watched as he’s taken advantage of his fellow residents, been rude to patients, misdiagnosed obvious medical conditions, and complained nonstop about how difficult his life is.  Dr. White is struggling to balance the punishing schedule of being a resident with also being a husband and the father to a young girl and a newborn.  He’s in over his head.

What’s interesting is that, despite all of his problems, he’s not a particularly sympathetic character and I don’t think he’s meant to be.  He’s never going to be a good doctor and he doesn’t have the courage to admit it.  Instead of finding a career for which he’s suited, he insists on being a doctor and risking the life of anyone unlucky enough to be his patient.  What makes Dr. White an especially disturbing character is that there are probably a lot of doctors in the real world who are just like him.  They’re overwhelmed and they make stupid mistakes.  I get overwhelmed sometimes too, as does everyone.  And, like everyone, I occasionally make mistakes.  However, my mistakes usually amount to something like missing a cringey typo that causes me to feel embarrassment until I get a chance to fix it.  A doctor’s mistake can lead to people dying.

This week, Dr. White attempts to give penicillin to a patient who is allergic.  Fortunately, Dr. Westphall is able to stop White from putting his patient into a coma.  Dr. White also manages to lose his hospital-issued pager and, when he’s told that it will cost him $300 to get a new one, he freaks out.  A chance meeting with a lawyer in the hospital cafeteria leads White to offer to sell out the hospital by recommending the lawyer to anyone willing to sue because they ended up with a doctor like Peter White.  White finally raises the money by donating his sperm.  The nurse at the sperm bank says that it’s really generous for a doctor to donate.  Not this doctor!

While Peter is screwing up his life, Dr. Westphall is dealing with what appears to be an outbreak of Legionnaire’s Disease in one of the wards.  Westphall wants to immediately shut down the ward.  Dr. Auschlander and board member H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest — yes, that Christopher Guest) disagree.  However, after another young woman dies of what appears to be Legionnaire’s, Westphall orders the ward to be closed and the patients to be relocated.

Meanwhile, Kathy Martin broke up with Fiscus because she felt their fling was turning into a relationship and Dr. Cavanero dealt with a nurse who disliked her.  Neither one of those subplots did much for me, though Kathy is emerging as one of my favorite characters on this show.  Before breaking up with Fiscus, she goes to a funeral of a stranger just so he won’t be buried without someone there to mourn him.  She wears white to the funeral.  One doctor comments that she’s never seen Kathy wear white before.  Kathy’s a great character and deserves better than just being Fiscus’s girlfriend.

This episode was an improvement over the last episode I watched.  According to the title, it’s also only “Part One” so I imagine there will be some fallout over closing that ward next week.  We’ll see what happens.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.6 “Love at Second Sight”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

Let’s get back on the highway!

Episode 3.6 “Love At Second Sight”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 5th, 1986)

Jonathan and Mark are working as recreation directors at a retirement community and….

Again?

Actually, I can’t really remember if Jonathan and Mark have worked as a recreation director at a retirement community before but I do know that this is not the first time that they’ve been assigned to work at such a place.  And, if I remember correctly, both Mark and Jonathan have been assigned to work as a coach at other places.  In other words, Jonathan and Mark have a specific set of skills and they seem to center around athletics and the elderly.

Mark thinks that this assignment is going to be easy but then again, Mark thinks that about every assignment.  He might have a point here as he and Jonathan are only supposed to be helping out another angel named Ted (John McLiam).  Ted’s assignment is to help Roy (Harvey Vernon) and Laura (Martha Scott) fall in love and find happiness in their twilight years.  The complication is that Laura is Ted’s widow!  Ted doesn’t want to help his widow fall in love with another man so, instead, he goes out of his way to sabotage Roy and Laura’s relationship.  In fact, Ted starts to romance Laura himself and even proposes marriage to her.

Jonathan confronts Ted and tells him that “the Boss” isn’t going to let this happen.  Jonathan then takes Ted into the future, where he discovers that Laura has died of a broken heart and that their daughter, Margaret (Nana Visitor), is now heading in the same direction.  Realizing that he was being selfish and that he has a responsibility to help Laura move on, Ted returns to the present and pretends to be a jerk and a conman so that Laura will fall out of love with him and instead fall in love with Roy.  Ted even gets Roy to punch him so that Laura will be impressed with him.  Back to the Future, anyone?

That’s the power of love!

I have two issues with this episode.  The lesser of the two is that Ted pretending to suddenly be a jerk seems like the sort of thing that would make Laura even more hesitant about trusting another man as opposed to something that would automatically make her fall in love with Roy.  However, my main issue with this episode is that it all felt very familiar.  Last season, Jonathan was assigned to help his widow move on and he had mixed feelings about it.  (As I would think any angel would.)  This season, God gives the same assignment to another angel and again, it nearly backfires on everyone.  It actually seems a bit mean-spirited on the part of the Boss to continually give this assignment to the very people that it would most hurt, though I understand that the idea is that Ted and Jonathan both needed to move on as well.  That said, at no point does Jonathan say, “Hey, the exact same thing happened to me!”  (This was a rare episode that Landon didn’t write so it’s always possible that the actual writer wasn’t aware that he was repeating a storyline from the show’s past.)  This episode felt like a missed opportunity.