Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.10 “Pillow Talk”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

Tonight, a bed demands to be fed.

Episode 1.10 “Pillow Talk”

(Dir by David Odell, originally aired on December 24th, 1988)

Miles Magnus (John Diehl) is one of the most successful horror authors in the world, writing best seller after best seller.  All of his books seem to involve a “master” who forces other people to do something terrible.  This episode opens with Miles bringing home his date, Barbara (Ruth de Sosa), and immediately taking her to his bedroom.

Barbara is impressed, especially with the fact that Miles keeps all of his books in his bedroom.  Miles is more interested in pointing out his rather large bed.  Miles tells her that, like Marcel Proust, he does all of his writing in bed.  Barbara’s reaction indicates that she’s not sure exactly who Marcel Proust is.  Despite the fact that Miles is kind of awkward and geeky, it’s not long before Barbara has stripped down to her underwear, rolled around on the bed, and invited Miles to join her.

Then the bed eats her.

Seriously.  The mattress opens up like a mouth and two rather phallic tentacles wrap around Barbara and pull her into the gaping hole.  All that’s left behind are her high heels because, apparently, the bed does not like shoes.

It turns out that Miles has been using the old trick of writing about what you know.  Miles does have a master and it’s his bed.  Of course, the bed itself is possessed by a creature that Miles describes as being the last of “the Great Old Ones.”  So, Miles’s bed is possessed by Cthulhu?

The next night, Miles brings home another woman.  Vicki (Mary Woronov) is a writer herself.  She writes romance novels and she tells Miles that she feels as if they are kindred spirits because her novels also often feature a master/servant relationship.  Miles tries to maneuver Vicki over to the bed but, instead, Vicki finds Miles’s diary and leaves with it.

Vicki later calls Miles and tells him that she hasn’t been able to put down his diary, which she apparently believes to be a rough draft of his newest novel.  She invites him over to her apartment so they can discuss it.  Mostly wanting to get back his diary so his secrets are not revealed, Miles goes over to Vicki’s place.  Vicki says that she thinks they should collaborate on a new novel and more.  After checking to make sure that Vicki’s bed is not alive, Miles agrees.

Ha!  The joke’s on Miles.  Vicki’s bed may not eat people but her refrigerator does!  When Miles gets a beer, he’s dragged into the refrigerator by a familiar set of tentacles and only his shoes are left behind.  Cthulhu really does not like footwear!

This was an enjoyable piece of Lovecraftian-style whimsy, with John Diehl giving an effectively jittery performance and Mary Woronov stealing the entire episode with her more cool and icy turn as the femme fatale, Vicki.  Just as being confined to bed gave Proust the time to perfect his talent, having to feed his bed has made Miles into both a successful author and a mental wreck.  More than just being a show about a bed that eats people, this is also a story about the isolation of being an artist.  In order to keep his talent and inspiration from fading, Miles has to literally destroy every human relationship that he has.  He can blame it on Cthulhu all the he wants but, in the end, Miles is the one who made his bed and must now sleep in it.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.20 “Rent a Romeo/Matchmaker, Matchmaker/Y’ Gotta Have Heart”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the Pacific Princess continues to be a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Episode 3.20 “Rent a Romeo/Matchmaker, Matchmaker/Y’ Gotta Have Heart”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on January 26th, 1980)

It’s time for another cruise on the Love Boat and once again, Doc Bricker is trying to get laid.

As I’ve often said in the past, The Pacific Princess really was a floating HR nightmare and that’s especially clear in any episode that opens with Doc bragging about how his latest girlfriend is about to board the ship.  This time, Doc is excited because he’s going to be joined by Sherry Holtham (Misty Rowe), who apparently took an acting class with Doc.  Imagine Doc’s surprise when Sherry boards the ship with her sister, the insecure and recently dumped Carol (Vicki Lawrence)!

Doc desperately wants some alone time with Sherry but, in order for that to happen, he’s going to have to find someone to show Carol a good time.  Gopher turns Doc down.  The Captain turns Doc down.  Fortunately, however, there is a legendary swinger on the boat.  Rod Baylor (football star Joe Namath) is on the boat and he’s always looking for a good time!  Gopher lies and tells Rod that Carol is notorious for being wild.  Rod takes a shot….

….and gets turned down because he came on too strong.  Gopher suggests that Rod open up to her about his insecurities.  Rod doesn’t have any insecurities but he lies to Carol and tells her that he’s actually very shy and reserved.  Carol is sympathetic and gives Rod her therapist’s card.

I guess the important thing here is that Sherry and Doc got to spend some time together.  They even get to wear matching red kimonos!  At the end of the cruise, Doc says a cheerful goodbye to Sherry but Rod is stuck with Carol and he looks absolutely miserable about it so …. wow, that was kind of a mean-spirited story, to be honest.

Speaking of sex, Sarah Conkle (Brett Somers) refuses to have sex with her husband, Harvey (Phil Harris), because she’s worried he’ll have another heart attack and die.  In fact, she spends almost the entire cruise telling Harvey not to do anything because she doesn’t think he’s healthy enough.  Finally, Harvey takes two bottle of champagne down to the cabin and he and Sarah not only have sex (off-screen, of course) but Harvey lives!  Sarah is so impressed that she lets Harvey carry their suitcases off the boat.  I’m going to guess that Harvey probably died a few days later.

Finally, young Jimmy Hopkins (Mark James) boards the ship with his amicably divorced parents, Evelyn (Ja’net DuBois) and Andrew (Cleavon Little).  Jimmy hopes that he can bring his parents back together (awwww!) and Vicki decides to help Jimmy come up with a plan.  That plan is to basically lie to every single man on the ship about Evelyn being married to a scary football player so that they’ll all stay away from her.  Jimmy also helps out by telling one of Evelyn’s suitors that he can’t wait for him to be his new stepfather.  (That guy is never seen again.)  Eventually, Evelyn and Andrew tell Jimmy that, though their marriage didn’t work, they will always love each other and that they will always be a part of his life.  Awwwww!

This was a mixed bag of an episode.  The storyline about Jimmy and his parents was sweet (even if it did involve a lot of lying) and featured good performances from DuBois and Little.  The storyline about the old couple was, if you’ll forgive the expression, dead in the water.  As for the Namath/Lawrence/Rowe storyline, it was pretty silly.  To be honest, any story that features Doc successfully seducing someone while wearing his red kimono is pretty silly.  Vicki Lawrence’s character didn’t go to do much, other than cry and complain.  Joe Namath, while hardly an actor of great range, had a goofy likability to him.  This episode was a breezy way to pass the time, even if it’s not one of the more memorable episodes of the series.

Last Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.4 “Deadly Vision”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

Tonight, Mitch reveals a new talent!

Episode 1.4 “Deadly Vision”

(Dir by Paul Lynch, originally aired on October 21st, 1995)

The highlight of this week’s episode is an extended sequence in which Mitch (David Hasselhoff) goes undercover.  He’s trying to protect his friend Destiny (Lisa Stahl) from a serial killer.  Because Destiny spends her days doing Tarot card readings in Malibu, Mitch decides that the best way to keep an eye on her is to dress up like a mime and perform for the crowds.

The crowds love Mitch, which leads me to wonder if maybe Mitch has some sort of previous mime experience.  I mean, either Mitch has had some professional training or pretending to be in a box is the easiest thing in the world to master because Mitch pulls it off like a pro.

At one point, Mitch poses with a cardboard cut-out of Bill Clinton.

Mitch does quite a bit as a mime.  He gets locked in an invisible box.  He juggles invisible balls.  He sings a silent song.  He even chases down and catches a thief.  What Mitch does not do is catch the serial killer.  The serial killer, who is probably not a fan of mimes, does not show up.  In fact, one could argue that Mitch doesn’t really accomplish any thing of particular importance while pretending to be a mime but the whole sequence pretty much epitomizes everything that makes Baywatch Nights so much fun.  David Hasselhoff as a mime?  It makes no sense but it’s fun!  A random cardboard cut-out of Bill Clinton?  It makes no sense but it’s fun!  Baywatch Nights is a fun show, precisely because it is so shamelessly silly.

Of course, Destiny is not having as much fun as Mitch is.  Destiny is continually having vision of people with whom she is casually acquainted being murdered.  Mitch and Garner (Gregory Alan Williams) have no problem believing that Destiny is having visions of the killer attacking people.  Ryan (Angie Harmon) is a bit more skeptical and I was happy about that, just because I’m also pretty skeptical about people who say that they can see the future.  It’s nice to have a character to whom I can relate on this show.  Mitch, Ryan and Garner think that the killer might be a con artist and a gigolo who they’re already investigating.  However, the show reveals early on that Destiny is being stalked by a crazed painter named Burt (Carl Weintraub).  Burt is obsessed with Destiny and he doesn’t like it when Destiny talks to other people, whether she’s telling their fortune or helping them investigate a crime.

In the end, the killer is thwarted and Destiny’s life is saved.  Hopefully, Mitch will continue to pursue his career as a mime because he’s got the talent!  I mean, you can’t lifeguard forever, right?

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.3 “The Skater’s Edge/Concerto of Death/The Last Great Race”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week, Fantasy Island loses a fantasy.  Read on to find out the details and remember, “Smiles, everyone!  Smiles!”

Episode 4.3 “The Skater’s Edge/Concerto of Death/The Last Great Race”

(Dir by Cliff Bole and Vince Edwards, originally aired on November 8th, 1980)

When this episode originally aired, it was a special two-hour episode of Fantasy Island, one that featured three fantasies as opposed to the usual two.

In Skater’s Edge, Charlie Johnson (Charlene Tilton) is a farm girl from Missouri who dreams of being a world class figure skater.  She comes to the Island to compete in the Fantasy Island Skating Competition.  Mr. Roarke gives Charlie a pair of magic skates that he claims belonged to figure skater Sonja Henie.  As long as Charlie is wearing the skates, she is the greatest skater in the world.  She takes the competition by storm and she also wins the heart of coach Mike O’Brien (Dack Rambo).  Unfortunately, in doing so, Charlie upsets Mike’s protégé, Laura Henderson (Peggy Fleming).  Laura steals Charlie’s skates but, after Mr. Roarke talks to her about the importance of friendship and fair play, Laura returns the skates to Charlie. Charlie gets a perfect score from the judges but, even more importantly, she learns a lesson in humility and she’s happy when Laura is named the winner of the competition.  Laura has the Fantasy Island championship but Charlie has got Mike.

In Concerto of Death, Dennis Cole plays Jeremy Hale, who comes to the island with his wife (Mary Ann Mobley).  Jeremy’s brother was a talented concert pianist who was murdered.  Jeremy wants to play as well as his brother but he also wants to solve his murder.  Roarke gives Jeremy an emerald ring that glows a deep green when Jeremy plays his piano.  Roarke warns Jeremy that his brother’s ghost might try to possess him and seek violent revenge against those who he blames for his death.  The scenes involving Jeremy being possessed feature Jeremy being suffused by a green glow and yes, it’s kind of silly but it’s still fun in the way that cheap special effects often are.  Eventually, Jeremy realizes that his brother was killed by Carla Marco (Erin Gray) and it ends with the police taking away Carla and Jeremy’s guest cabin burning to the ground.  That cabin burned down to the ground at least once per season.

Finally, in The Last Great Race, Dick Shawn and Juliet Mills play a couple who are divorcing.  They go on a race with the winner getting the majority of their possessions.

You may notice that I don’t have much to say about The Last Great Race.  This is because the Race fantasy was edited out of this episode when it went into syndication.  Unfortunately, all of the versions that I’ve found of this episode online are of the syndicated version.  So, I guess The Last Great Race is just going to be the lost fantasy of Fantasy Island.

It’s hard to judge this episode because, in the syndicated version, it’s very obvious that a lot has been removed.  It makes things feel a bit disjointed with the scene transitions often coming abruptly.  Charlie and Mike seem to fall in love in record time and Laura declaring herself to be Charlie’s friend seems odd because we haven’t really seen them interact before Laura steals her skates.  Meanwhile, the story with Jeremy also feels rushed with the final confrontation between Jeremy and the murderer seeming to come out of nowhere.

That said, it’s kind of a fun episode.  The skating scenes feature an obvious stunt double for Charlene Tilton and it’s hard not to be kind of charmed by how obvious it all is.  (You can get dizzy as the scene cuts from close-ups of Tilton’s face and close-ups of the stunt double’s legs.)  The supernatural story makes no sense but the silly special effects made me smile.  The episode ends with Mr. Roarke causing snow to fall on Fantasy Island but, in typical Roarke fashion, he makes sure that it only falls on Tattoo.  Roarke has a good laugh while Tattoo screams in terror.  Seriously, those two hate each other so much.

Here Are The 2023 Nominations of The Film Independent Spirit Awards


The nominations of the Independent Spirit Awards were announced today.  While the Spirits are definitely an Oscar precursor, it’s important to remember that some of the year’s big contenders — Oppenheimer, Maestro, Rustin, Nyad, Barbie, Killers Of The Flower Moon – -are not eligible for the Spirits.

Of the film nominated for Best Feature, May December, Past Lives, and American Fiction seem to be the most likely to also show up when the Oscar nominations are announced next year.

Here are the nominees!  The winners will be announced on February 25th, 2024!

BEST FEATURE (Award given to the producer)
All of Us Strangers – Producers: Graham Broadbent, Pete Czernin, Sarah Harvey
American Fiction – Producers: Cord Jefferson, Jermaine Johnson, Nikos Karamigios, Ben LeClair
May December – Producers: Jessica Elbaum, Will Ferrell, Grant S. Johnson, Pamela Koffler, Tyler W. Konney, Sophie Mas, Natalie Portman, Christine Vachon
Passages – Producers: Michel Merkt, Saïd Ben Saïd
Past Lives – Producers: David Hinojosa, Pamela Koffler, Christine Vachon
We Grown Now – Producers: Minhal Baig, Joe Pirro

BEST FIRST FEATURE (Award given to director and producer)
All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt – Director: Raven Jackson, Producers: Maria Altamirano, Mark Ceryak, Barry Jenkins, Adele Romanski
Chronicles of a Wandering Saint – Director: Tomás Gómez Bustillo, Producers: Gewan Brown, Amanda Freedman
Earth Mama – Director/Producer: Savanah Leaf, Producers: Sam Bisbee, Shirley O’Connor, Medb Riordan, Cody Ryder
A Thousand and One – Director: A.V. Rockwell, Producers: Julia Lebedev, Rishi Rajani, Eddie Vaisman, Lena Waithe, Brad Weston
Upon Entry – Directors: Alejandro Rojas, Juan Sebastián Vásquez, Producers: Sergio Adrià, Carlos Juárez, Alba Sotorra, Carles Torras, Xosé Zapata

JOHN CASSAVETES AWARD – Given to the best feature made for under $1,000,000 (Award given to the writer, director and producer)
The Artifice Girl – Director/Writer: Franklin Ritch, Producers: Aaron B. Koontz, Ashleigh Snead
Cadejo Blanco – Director/Writer/Producer: Justin Lerner, Producers: Mauricio Escobar, Ryan Friedkin, Jack Patrick Hurley
Fremont – Director/Writer: Babak Jalali, Writer: Carolina Cavalli, Producers: Rachael Fung, Chris Martin, Marjaneh Moghimi, George Rush, Sudnya Shroff, Laura Wagner
Rotting in the Sun – Director/Writer: Sebastián Silva, Writer: Pedro Peirano, Producer: Jacob Wasserman
The Unknown Country – Director/Writer/Producer: Morrisa Maltz, Writer: Lily Gladstone, Writers/Producers: Lainey Bearkiller Shangreaux, Vanara Taing, Producers: Katherine Harper, Laura Heberton, Tommy Heitkamp

BEST DIRECTOR
Andrew Haigh – All of Us Strangers
Todd Haynes – May December
William Oldroyd – Eileen
Ira Sachs – Passages
Celine Song – Past Lives

BEST SCREENPLAY
David Hemingson – The Holdovers
Cord Jefferson – American Fiction
Laura Moss & Brendan J. O’Brien – Birth/Rebirth
Emma Seligman & Rachel Sennott – Bottoms
Celine Song – Past Lives

BEST FIRST SCREENPLAY
Samy Burch; Story by Samy Burch & Alex Mechanik – May December
Noah Galvin, Molly Gordon, Nick Lieberman & Ben Platt – Theater Camp
Tomás Gómez Bustillo – Chronicles of a Wandering Saint
Laurel Parmet – The Starling Girl
Alejandro Rojas & Juan Sebastián Vásquez – Upon Entry

BEST LEAD PERFORMANCE
Jessica Chastain – Memory
Greta Lee – Past Lives
Trace Lysette – Monica
Natalie Portman – May December
Judy Reyes – Birth/Rebirth
Franz Rogowski – Passages
Andrew Scott – All of Us Strangers
Teyana Taylor – A Thousand and One
Jeffrey Wright – American Fiction
Teo Yoo – Past Lives

BEST SUPPORTING PERFORMANCE
Erika Alexander – American Fiction
Sterling K. Brown – American Fiction
Noah Galvin – Theater Camp
Anne Hathaway – Eileen
Glenn Howerton – BlackBerry
Marin Ireland – Eileen
Charles Melton – May December
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers
Catalina Saavedra – Rotting in the Sun
Ben Whishaw – Passages

BEST BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
Marshawn Lynch – Bottoms
Atibon Nazaire – Mountains
Tia Nomore – Earth Mama
Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers
Anaita Wali Zada – Fremont

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Katelin Arizmendi – Monica
Eigil Bryld – The Holdovers
Jomo Fray – All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
Pablo Lozano – Chronicles of a Wandering Saint
Pat Scola – We Grown Now

BEST EDITING
Santiago Cendejas, Gabriel Díaz, Sofía Subercaseaux – Rotting in the Sun
Stephanie Filo – We Grown Now
Daniel Garber – How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Jon Philpot – Theater Camp
Emanuele Tiziani – Upon Entry

ROBERT ALTMAN AWARD – Given to one film’s director, casting director and ensemble cast
Showing Up
Director: Kelly Reichardt
Casting Director: Gayle Keller
Ensemble Cast: André Benjamin, Hong Chau, Judd Hirsch, Heather Lawless, James Le Gros, John Magaro, Matt Malloy, Amanda Plummer, Maryann Plunkett, Denzel Rodriguez, Michelle Williams

BEST DOCUMENTARY (Award given to the director and producer)
Bye Bye Tiberias – Director: Lina Soualem, Producer: Jean-Marie Nizan
Four Daughters – Director: Kaouther Ben Hania, Producer: Nadim Cheikhrouha
Going to Mars: The Nikki Giovanni Project – Directors/Producers: Joe Brewster, Michèle Stephenson, Producer: Tommy Oliver
Kokomo City – Director: D. Smith, Producers: Bill Butler, Harris Doran
The Mother of All Lies – Director/Producer: Asmae El Moudir

BEST INTERNATIONAL FILM (Award given to the director)
Anatomy of a Fall (France) – Director: Justine Triet
Godland (Denmark/Iceland) – Director: Hlynur Pálmason
Mami Wata (Nigeria) – Director: C.J. ‘Fiery’ Obasi
Tótem (Mexico) – Director: Lila Avilés
The Zone of Interest (United Kingdom, Poland, USA) – Director: Jonathan Glazer

PRODUCERS AWARD
 Presented by Bulleit Frontier Whiskey – The Producers Award, now in its 27th year, honors emerging producers who, despite highly limited resources, demonstrate the creativity, tenacity and vision required to produce quality independent films.

Rachael Fung
Graham Swon
Monique Walton

SOMEONE TO WATCH AWARD
The Someone to Watch Award, now in its 30th year, recognizes a talented filmmaker of singular vision who has not yet received appropriate recognition.

Joanna Arnow – Director of The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed
Laura Moss – Director of Birth/Rebirth
Monica Sorelle – Director of Mountains

TRUER THAN FICTION AWARD 
The Truer Than Fiction Award, now in its 29th year, is presented to an emerging director of non-fiction features who has not yet received significant recognition.

Set Hernandez – Director of unseen
Jesse Short Bull, Laura Tomaselli – Director of Lakota Nation vs. United States
Sierra Urich – Director of Joonam

BEST NEW NON-SCRIPTED OR DOCUMENTARY SERIES (Award given to the Creator, Executive Producer, Co-Executive Producer)
Deadlocked: How America Shaped the Supreme Court
Executive Producers: Vinnie Malhotra, Aaron Saidman, Eli Holzman, Dawn Porter
Dear Mama
Executive Producers: Lasse Järvi, Quincy ‘QD3’ Jones III, Staci Robinson, Nelson George, Charles D. King, Peter Nelson, Adel ‘Future’ Nur, Jamal Joseph, Ted Skillman, Allen Hughes, Steve Berman, Marc Cimino, Jody Gerson, John Janick, Nicholas Ferrall, Nigel Sinclair
Murder in Big Horn
Executive Producers: Matthew Galkin, Vinnie Malhotra
Co-Executive Producers: Lisa Kalikow, Joshua Levine
Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence
Executive Producers: Mindy Goldberg, Dan Cogan, Liz Garbus, Jon Bardin, Zach Heinzerling, Krista Parris, Daniel Barban Levin, Felicia Rosario
Co-Executive Producer: Julie Gaither
Wrestlers
Executive Producers: Greg Whiteley, Ryan O’Dowd
Co-Executive Producers: Alejandro Melendez, Adam Leibowitz

BEST NEW SCRIPTED SERIES (Award given to the Creator, Executive Producer, Co-Executive Producer)
Beef
Creator/Executive Producer: Lee Sung Jin
Executive Producers: Steven Yeun, Ali Wong, Jake Schreier, Ravi Nandan, Alli Reich
Co-Executive Producers: Alice Ju, Carrie Kemper
Dreaming Whilst Black
Creator/Executive Producer: Adjani Salmon
Creators: Maximilian Evans, Natasha Jatania, Laura Seixas
Executive Producers: Tanya Qureshi, Dhanny Joshi, Bal Samra, Thomas Stogdon
I’m a Virgo
Creator/Executive Producer: Boots Riley
Executive Producers: Tze Chun, Michael Ellenberg, Lindsey Springer, Jharrel Jerome, Rebecca Rivo
Co-Executive Producers: Marcus Gardley, Carver Karaszewski
Jury Duty
Creators/Executive Producers: Lee Eisenberg, Gene Stupnitsky
Executive Producers: David Bernad, Ruben Fleischer, Nicholas Hatton, Cody Heller, Todd Schulman, Jake Szymanski, Andrew Weinberg
Slip
Creator/Executive Producer: Zoe Lister-Jones
Executive Producers: Ro Donnelly, Dakota Johnson, Katie O’Connell Marsh, David Fortier, Ivan Schneeberg

BEST LEAD PERFORMANCE IN A NEW SCRIPTED SERIES
Emma Corrin – A Murder at the End of the World
Dominique Fishback – Swarm
Betty Gilpin – Mrs. Davis
Jharrel Jerome – I’m a Virgo
Zoe Lister-Jones – Slip
Bel Powley – A Small Light
Bella Ramsey – The Last of Us
Ramón Rodríguez – Will Trent
Ali Wong – Beef
Steven Yeun – Beef

BEST SUPPORTING PERFORMANCE IN A NEW SCRIPTED SERIES
Murray Bartlett – The Last of Us
Billie Eilish – Swarm
Jack Farthing – Rain Dogs
Nick Offerman – The Last of Us
Adina Porter – The Changeling
Lewis Pullman – Lessons in Chemistry
Benny Safdie – The Curse
Luke Tennie – Shrinking
Olivia Washington – I’m a Virgo
Jessica Williams – Shrinking

BEST BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE IN A NEW SCRIPTED SERIES
Clark Backo – The Changeling
Aria Mia Loberti – All the Light We Cannot See
Adjani Salmon – Dreaming Whilst Black
Keivonn Montreal Woodard – The Last of Us
Kara Young – I’m a Virgo

BEST ENSEMBLE CAST IN A NEW SCRIPTED SERIES
Jury Duty
Ensemble Cast: Alan Barinholtz, Susan Berger, Cassandra Blair, David Brown, Kirk Fox, Ross Kimball, Pramode Kumar, Trisha LaFache, Mekki Leeper, James Marsden, Edy Modica, Kerry O’Neill, Rashida Olayiwola, Whitney Rice, Maria Russell, Ishmel Sahid, Ben Seaward, Ron Song, Evan Williams

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.4 “Moving Violation”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, we learn who is a good cop and who is a not-so good cop.

Episode 1.4 “Moving Violation”

(Dir by Edward M. Abroms, originally aired on October 13th, 1977)

Tonight’s episode of CHiPs doesn’t so much have a plot as much as it’s just a random collection of incidents that are designed to allow us to see the differences in personality between Officer Jon Baker and Officer Frank “Ponch” Poncharello.

Officer Baker is quiet, conscientious, and mild-mannered.  He’s the officer who spots a stolen church bus but gives his partner the credit for discovering it because his partner is on probationary status with the department.  On a more serious note, he’s also the guy who is sent to inform women that they are now widows because their husbands met misfortune on the California highways.  Tonight’s episode sees Baker being sent to inform a woman that her husband has died and Baker handles the job with sensitivity and tact.  He wipes away a tear of his own as the woman starts to cry.  Larry Wilcox was not exactly the most expressive actor in the world but, in that scene, he did a wonderful job.

Officer Poncharello, on the other hand, is a screw-up who smiles frequently, lies to an almost pathological extent, and who often looks straight at the camera while delivering his lines.  He’s the type of police officer who needs his fellow officers to lie to Sgt. Getraer about what a good police officer he is.  If Officer Baker is the ideal highway patrolman, Ponch is the guy who really shouldn’t be out there.  It’s not just that Erik Estrada looks notably less assured on that motorcycle than Larry Wilcox.  It’s also that Ponch himself doesn’t ever really seem to be paying attention to …. well, anything!

This episode, Ponch lies to a woman and gets her to go out on a date with him under the assumption that he’s a sergeant.  She’s not thrilled to discover that he’s just a police officer and that he drives (and live in) an RV.  Ponch is not thrilled when he gets a ticket for not using his turn signal and he has to take a driver’s education class.  Worried that he might run into someone who he has ticketed, Ponch wears a fake mustache and, eventually, a fake beard.

As I mentioned earlier, there’s not much of a story to this episode.  Ponch and Baker just deal with whatever they come across, whether it’s a stolen church bus or a man trapped in a van with a bunch of rattlesnakes.  The oddest moment of the show comes when they pull over a motorist played by football player Roosevelt Grier and Grier proceeds to start beating up his car.  Ponch and Baker just watch in amazement.  At one point, Grier puts his fist through a window and Ponch laughs.  Uhmm …. how about checking to make sure the guy isn’t bleeding to death?

And, hey — guess who shows up in driver’s education class at the end of this episode!?  And guess who rips off Ponch’s fake beard and mustache.  The episode ends with a freeze frame of a nervous Ponch laughing but I don’t think he’s going to be laughing much longer.

This was a weird episode.  It was basically a combination of broad comedy, lovely California scenery, and that one shockingly dramatic scene in which Baker told a woman that her husband was dead.  The episode was obviously meant to introduce us to Baker and Ponch.  I would definitely prefer to get pulled over by Baker because he’s obviously just trying to do his job quickly and efficiently.  Ponch, on the other hand….

Anyway, assuming that Ponch wasn’t killed by Rosey Grier, he should be next week!  We’ll see what happens!

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.13 “Milk Run”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs fail to observe movie line etiquette.

Episode 1.13 “Milk Run”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on January 4th, 1985)

At Miami International Airport, Tubbs is sweating buckets (one thing I do appreciate about Miami Vice is that it captures that Yankees never seem to get used to Southern humidity) while Crockett watches and smiles at a woman in a miniskirt.  Not surprisingly, ZZ Tops’s Legs is playing on the soundtrack.  Having good legs is definitely a plus in life.  They’ve certainly helped me out.

Anyway, Crockett and Tubbs notice that two teenagers have just paid for a ticket to Colombia in cash.  Crockett and Tubbs confront them in the airport cafeteria, causing both Louis Martinez (Evan Handler) and his friend, Eddie Rivers (Al Shannon), to make a run for it.  They manage to outrun both Crockett and Tubbs.  Louis and Eddie may not be as streetwise or experienced as the two cops but they’re definitely a lot younger and a lot quicker.

Louis is enthusiastic about Eddie flying down to Colombia and smuggling cocaine-filled statues into the United States.  Eddie is more nervous about it and keeps saying that he wishes he could just go home and pretend like they never agreed to help this week’s villains, the Moya cousins.

Not surprisingly, at least to anyone who has watched this show, Crockett and Tubbs just happen to be investigating a drug warehouse that belongs to the Moyas.  After the warehouse blows up, they discover a locker full of the statues and they also find out that the Moyas are into Santeria.  This leads to a scene where they attempt to interrogate one of their informants (played by Rainbow Harvest), a Santeria high priestess who works at a “punk rock movie theater.”  (Don’t ask me, I didn’t write the episode.)  While Crockett keeps bothering her at work, Tubbs has a tense conversation with her boyfriend, who is played by a youngish Eric Bogosian!

The two stories eventually link back up.  Eddie flies to Colombia but he and Louis are arrested by Crockett and Tubbs as soon as he returns to America.  While Louis continues to play tough, Eddie talks about how he wishes that he could just go back home and not get involved in any of this.  Crockett promises Eddie that he’ll make sure he gets home safely.  Can you guess who ends up getting gunned down the cartel at the end of the episode?

Milk Run was an episode about which I had mixed feelings.  At first, it was hard for me to have much sympathy for either Louis or Eddie.  But, at the same time, I also had a hard time having much sympathy for Crockett and Tubbs.  Whether they were holding up a line to interrogate a ticket agent at the airport or holding up the line to interrogate the Santeria priestess at the movie theater, they ended up holding up a lot of lines and that’s a pet peeve of mine.  But, by the end of this episode, I felt sorry for Eddie and the dark conclusion drove home the episode’s point.  There’s no way to escape your decisions.  Of course, by this point, we pretty much know what’s going to happen whenever Crockett promises to keep someone safe but that didn’t make the ending any less effective.

This was an okay episode.  The ending was powerful and it featured a strong supporting turn from John Kapelos in the role of a sleazy attorney.  In the end, the message was clear.  Don’t get involved with a shady business unless you’re totally prepared to deal with the consequences.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 1.12 “Parents’ Night”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

Though not as dramatic as last week’s episode, this week’s episode is just as important to the future of Degrassi.

Episode 1.12 “Parents’ Night”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on April 5th, 1987)

When it comes to this week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High, it helps to know a little bit about franchise’s history.  On the surface, this is a fairly standard episode, with Wheels, Joey, and Spike all getting a storyline.  But if you know what waits for these characters in the future, then you know this is one of the most important shows of the franchise’s history.  Much like last week’s It’s Late, this episode sets up the storylines that will play out over the next three decades.

Spike is still adjusting to being pregnant.  As she tells the Farrell twins, she doesn’t want to have an abortion but she also know that, at the age of 14, she’s too young to be a mother.  Shane, she says, has barely spoken to her since discovering that she’s pregnant.  Spike is considering giving up the child for adoption.  The Farrell twins suggest that Spike speak to Wheels, who is adopted himself.  In a rather sweet scene that is well-played by both Amanda Stepto and Neil Hope, Wheels tells Spike that he’s never been angry over being adopted.  He also says that he’s never been curious about his birth parents.  Much like Spike and Shane, they were simply too young to raise a child.

Wheels has a lot going on in this episode.  He’s the bass player in a band!  Joey and Snake are also in the band.  Joey wants to call the band Joey and the Joy Buzzers.  Snake wants to call them Snake and the Charmers, which is actually pretty clever.  Wheels says that he’s fine with whatever because Wheels, at this point in the show, is the most well-balanced kid in school.  Sadly, this won’t last.

While leaving rehearsal for the upcoming Parents’ Night Talent Show, Wheels is approached by a man named Mike Nelson (Dave James).  Mike introduces himself as Wheels’s father and he gives Wheels his number.  With Joey’s encouragement, Wheels calls Mike and even meets with him at a local diner.  It’s an awkward meeting but, when Wheels finds out that Mike is also in a band, he starts to feel a connection to his father.

However, Wheels also feels guilty because he hasn’t told his parents that he’s been talking to Dave.  This eventually leads to him getting angry with Dave and yelling at Dave for trying to re-enter his life.  Dave calls Wheels’s adoptive parents and apologizes.  When Wheels’s parents tell him that it’s okay if he wants to talk to Dave, Wheels worries that they don’t really want him.  Eventually, after giving it some thought, Wheels realizes that he can have a relationship with both his birth father and the people who raised him.

As for Joey’s storyline, he forges a letter from his parents, in which “they” tell Mr. Raditch that they will not be coming to Parents’ Night.  Mr. Raditch sees right through him.  Oh, Joey!

As I said, it’s a fairly simple episode but it works due to the wonderful and empathetic performance of Neil Hope.  Unfortunately, the tragic details of Neil Hope’s life after Degrassi has often overshadowed just how good he truly was on the show.  Indeed, it’s not always easy to watch him, bright and full-of-life in Degrassi Junior High, with the knowledge of what the future holds for both the actor and the character.  Hope, whose own life provided the inspiration for a few of Wheels’s storylines, was such a good and natural actor that Wheels is compelling despite having the second worst nickname on the show.  (Snake, of course, wins the prize for worst nickname.  That said, the character was apparently nearly named Slim, which would have been even worse.)

So, why is this episode so important to the future of Degrassi?  The reasons below are all technically spoilers but, if you’re a big enough Degrassi fan that you tracked down this review, I’m probably not telling you anything that you don’t already know.

First off, the band will eventually get a name and it won’t be Joey and the Joy Buzzers or Snake and the Charmers.  It would be Zit Remedy and Joey’s attempts to become a star would not only be a major plotline through Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High but it would also frequently be mentioned in Degrassi: The Next Generation as Joey vicariously lived his rock dreams through his stepson, Craig Manning.  Famously, Zit Remedy only wrote and performed one song but that song has had a very long life on the show.  Everybody wants something, right?

(As well, Zit Remedy was the first of MANY bands to be formed at Degrassi.  Hell Hath No Fury, Downtown Sasquatch, Studz, and Whisperhug would all follow but Zit Remedy was there first.)

Though this episode ends with Wheels at peace with both his birth father and his adopted parents, that peace wouldn’t last.  One reason why it’s kind of sad to see Wheels happy in this episode is because Wheels would rarely be happy for the rest of the series.  Musical “talent” is not the only thing that Wheels and Dave have in common.  Dave is an alcoholic and Wheels is destined to end up in prison after killing a kid while driving drunk.  (Following this seemingly innocuous episode, Wheels’s life got dark!)

As for Joey, he’ll never be a rock star but eventually, he will make peace with Mr. Raditch, to the extent that Raditch will even joke with him when Joey comes up to the school after Craig is caught skipping class.

And finally, Spike is not going to give up her baby for adoption.  Instead, she’s going to keep her daughter and, in the future, Emma Nelson will be at the center of the Degrassi universe.  (And Snake will even be her stepfather!)

Next week, season one comes to a close!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.9 “Phantom of the Market”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, someone is stealing disgusting gourmet food!

Episode 1.9 “Phantom of the Market”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on November 27th, 1985)

Howard is super-excited because he has been named Cobb’s Manager of the Year!  The manager of the year wins a Hawaiian vacation for two because, apparently, there’s not a single Cobb’s manager who has a large family.  I get the feeling that the whole manager of the year thing is a scam to give the the company’s managers an excuse to go to Hawaii with their secretaries.  That’s certainly what Howard is planning to do, though at least he’s actually unmarried and dating Edna.

(Being a Canadian company, I would think Cobb’s would reward its employees with a Discovery Islands vacation but no, Cobb’s would rather send its employees to the USA.)

Howard’s employees even go through the trouble of making and hanging a big banner congratulating Howard.  Of course, they hang it upside down but Howard is in such a good mood that he doesn’t even yell about it.  Unfortunately, Howard’s mood is soon ruined when a corporate stooge (played by Grant Cowan) shows up and tells Howard that his store is missing $400 worth of gourmet meat and that Howard is going to lose his job if he can’t figure out what has happened to the missing inventory.

Feeling that it might be an inside job, Howard and Alf spend two nights at the store in hopes of catching whoever it is.  The first night, Howard falls asleep and wakes up in his underwear.  Somehow, the thief took all of his clothes without waking up Howard.  Howard wraps himself in the banner, which I would think would make him look even more undressed than when he was just wearing shoes, boxers, and his undershirt.  (How did the thief undress Howard without taking his shoes off?  Again, how did Howard sleep through that?)  The second night, Howard discovers that Cobb’s actually has a basement and that basement is occupied by Henry Weinberg (Antony Parr).

The well-dressed and well-fed Henry explains that his family used to own the land on which the store was built.  Henry has been living in the basement of various Cobb’s stores for several years and he’s been stealing their food.  He gives Howard a box that he says contains the ashes of his grandfather.  Howard is surprisingly accepting of all this.

The next day — yay!  All of the missing inventory is back.  Howard gets to keep his job and go to Hawaii.  Henry shows up in the story and tells Howard that he stole replacement food from all the other grocery stores in the area.  After Henry leaves, Alf informs Howard that Henry is actually a comedian who used to do a bit about putting his grandfather’s ashes in a box.  As Henry speaks, Howard discreetly spills the ashes onto the flood and kicks them underneath a shelf.  Yikes!

This was kind of a strange episode but, in this case, the weirdness worked to the show’s advantage.  In previous episodes, Don Adams sometimes seemed to be overacting.  In this episode, everyone was acting bizarrely and, as such, Adams’s exaggerated reactions actually fit well with the situation.  Add to that, this episode featured the return of Viker, the dumb but very confident electrician played by Gordon Clapp.  As played by Clapp, Viker’s earnest stupidity was definitely the high point of the episode.

Next week, everyone car pools to work!  I really can’t imagine that going well but we’ll find out what happens soon!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/26/23 — 12/2/23


Bar Rescue (Paramount Plus)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer went to a bar in San Antonio and yelled at the owner, who was basically spending all of her time drinking as opposed to actually running her business.  The thing that amuses me about this show is how Taffer acts like running a bar is the most important calling in the world.

On Wednesday, I watched an episode in which Taffer went to a bar in Brooklyn and his camera crew was actually attacked by some unruly bar patrons.  Agck!  That was kind of scary.  That said, I always enjoy the New York episodes of Bar Rescue because it’s fun to watch the rudest people in the world get yelled at by the rudest television host.

On Thursday, while it rained outside, I watched as Jon Taffer tried to save an ant-infested music venue.  He got mad because the owner kept laughing awkwardly but I think the guy just had a nervous habit.  I followed this up with an episode in which a drunk sports bar owner turned out to be so obnoxious that his entire staff quit on him and Taffer didn’t even invite him to the grand re-opening of his bar.  (The owner still showed up, completely drunk.)  It was actually kind of a sad episode.  Taffer kept yelling at the guy for not smiling enough but some people just aren’t natural smilers.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 30 minutes.

CHiPS (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Saturday, I watched a really sad episode featuring this crazy woman who was harassing a mother who had lost one of her daughters to cyberbullying.  The woman was incredibly unstable and never seemed to understand just how loathed she was by the audience.  Seriously, the ability to go online on a whim has done terrible things to some minds.

On Monday, I watched a rare three-part episode in which Dr. Phil confronted a professional catfisher named Khalid.  Khalid tried to be very charming when the interview began but, over the course of 90 minutes, he grew more and more hostile and defensive.  It was interesting to watch, even if Khalid ultimately got away with his crimes.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode featuring a woman who was planning to leave her husband so that she could pursue Kip Moore.  The audience was amused but I found the episode to be kind of depressing. Dr. Phil once again claimed that his son was a country music star, which I don’t think was actually true.

On Saturday, after watching a docuseries about the Love Has Won cult on HBO, I watched two episodes that Dr. Phil did about the group.

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Monday Night, Fox)

This week, Chef Ramsay went to a restaurant in South Brooklyn, where the two owners had an extremely toxic relationship.  I enjoyed this episode because everyone involved was extremely Italian.  I was happy when Rey walked out of the restaurant because I felt his behavior was abusive.  I was less happy when Danny quit but I can understand his logic.  He just wanted to do his job but instead, he kept getting dragged into everyone’s personal drama.  I was really happy when Kelly learned how to run the business on her own but I was disappointed that she apparently took Rey back as her partner.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God (Saturday Afteroon, HBO2)

This creepy three-party documentary provided a look inside the Love Has Won cult and its leader, a former McDonalds manager who was believed to be God by her followers.  She and her followers were addicted to filming themselves and the documentary was filled with footage of the group.  It was easy to be dismissive of the members of the cult but almost all of them seemed to be damaged souls, people who dealt with their personal traumas by going down the rabbit hole of conspiracy-thinking and flakey spirituality.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Sunday morning.  Mike and the bots watched the 1959 film, Santa Claus.  I like Tom Servo because he’s an intellectual.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!