Tag Archives: show

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.25 “The Prisoner”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, Johnny goes to prison!

Episode 2.25 “The Prisoner”

(Dir by Armand Mastroianni, originally aired on June 5th, 1989)

After Johnny Ventura’s father is killed by an invisible man….

Wait, what’s Johnny doing here?

No, don’t get me wrong.  I understand why Johnny’s there, mostly because I have the benefit of hindsight.  I know that Johnny is going to replace Ryan during the third season and this episode was obviously designed to get the audience used to the idea of Johnny being a part of the show.  The majority of the episode follows Johnny as he’s sent to prison, having been framed for murdering his own father.  The culprit is another prisoner, Dayton Railsback (Larry Joshua).  Dayton has a kamikaze pilot’s jacket that allows him to turn invisible whenever blood is spilled on it.  Whenever Dayton’s invisible, he sneaks out of the prison and searches for some money that he stole ten years earlier. Johnny is the only person in the prison who knows what Railsback is doing so soon, he’s being targeted by the invisible man.

While Johnny is dealing with life in prison, Micki, Ryan, and Jack are attempting to prove that Railsback is the murderer.  It’s a bit odd because the three of them — our stars! — are barely in the episode and, when they do appear, they’re just hanging out in the antique shop.  They talk about all of the investigating that they’ve been doing but we don’t actually see them doing it.  Watching the episode, one gets the feeling that John D. LeMay, Robey, and Chris Wiggins all shot their scenes in one day and then left on an extended vacation.  They showed up just long enough to establish this as being an episode of Friday the 13th, despite the fact that almost the entire episode is about Johnny.

Needless to say, it was a bit of a disjointed episode.  The show kept jumping from Johnny in prison to Railsback killing people outside of prison to everyone hanging out in the antique shop and it was a bit difficult to keep track of who was planning what.  Myself, I was surprised at how quickly the show went from Johnny’s father being murdered to Johnny getting tossed into prison.  We don’t even see Johnny’s trial.  Johnny was passed out when his father was shot and, quite frankly, it seems like he could have made a very credible argument that he was framed.  (The invisible Railsback puts the gun in Johnny’s hands but he doesn’t manipulate Johnny into pulling the trigger so it’s not like there would have been any powder residue on Johnny’s fingers.)  Johnny and his father appeared to have a pretty good relationship so you really have to wonder what type of case the prosecution made.  The episode ends with Johnny killing Railsback and then being released from prison.  So, is Johnny going to have to on trial again?  I mean, he just stood there while Railsback burned to death.

Weird episode.  It didn’t do too much for me.  I’m going to miss Ryan once season 3 starts.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.9 “Rain”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, a famous face shows up in the ER!

Episode 1.9 “Rain”

(Dir by Victor Hsu, originally aired on January 3rd, 1983)

Last night, after writing my review of Goodfellas, I watched the ninth episode of St. Elsewhere and there was Ray Liotta!

Liotta played Murray, a young man who came into the ER with a deep cut on his back.  Orderly Luther took one look at him and decided that he was a member of the same gang who mugged Fiscus a few episodes ago.  Luther then told Fiscus right before Fiscus was due to stitch Murray up.  Murray was indeed rude but Fiscus wasn’t particularly polite to him.  Fiscus didn’t stich up Murray’s wound but he did pull his gun on him.  Murray fled the ER and, after knocking over several doctors who were in his way, he jumped out of a window and escaped from St. Eligius.

As for Fiscus, he got a stern talking to from Dr. Westphall.  Westphall ordered Fiscus to get rid of the gun and told him that if he ever brought a weapon to work again, his residency would come to an end.  Fiscus agreed to not bring the gun to the ER anymore but he later told Dr. Chandler that he was terrified for his life.  I’ve been critical of Howie Mandel’s performance on this show but he actually did a pretty good job in this episode.  He was able to hold his own while sharing the screen with Denzel Washington.  That’s quite an accomplishment.

While Dr. Westphall yelled at Fiscus, Dr. Craig yelled at Ehrlich for spraining his pinkie while playing handball.  Dr. Craig demands to know how Ehrlich will ever make it as a surgeon if he doesn’t protect his hands.  Ehrlich spends the entire day trying to protect his hands and he continually fails.  (Ehrlich’s a bit of a klutz.)  Finally, Ehrlich storms into Craig’s office and interrupts a meeting to announce that he’s going to continue to play handball.  Craig shrugs and dismissively says, “He’s from California.”

As for the rest of this episode, it took place over one very long and rainy day.  Peter is still struggling as both a doctor and a husband.  When his daughter (a very young Candace Cameron Bure) was rushed to the hospital after eating mothballs, Peter blamed his wife and his wife blamed Peter.  Returning home from the hospital, Peter nearly hit his wife after she tossed his dinner on the floor.  It was scary to watch.  I’m getting a bad feeling about what’s going to happen with this marriage.

Dr. Morrison made the mistake of making a house call and soon, he discovered himself constantly being called by Mr. Lukovic (George Morfogen) whenever any of Lukovic’s neighbors were taken ill.  Morrison kept telling Lukovic to take his friends to the hospital but Lukovic talked about how, in the past, doctors would always make house calls.  When Morrison finally refused to go to Lukovic’s building, Lukovic brought his neighbor to the hospital.  The neighbor was in cardiac arrest but Morrison managed to get his heart beating again.  Rather than be thankful, Lukovic blamed Morrison for not responding to his call.  Morrison lost his temper and told Lukovic that he couldn’t keep living in the past.  “I will not call you again,” Lukovic replied.  Roll the end credits!

This was a pretty good episode, one that not only answered the question of why doctors don’t make housecalls but also which featured Ray Liotta being tough and dangerous.  There were a few annoying scenes involving the guy who thinks that he’s a bird but otherwise, this was a well-done and rainy hour.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.10 “Man to Man”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week’s episode made me cry.

Episode 3.10 “Man to Man”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 26th, 1986)

As so often happens on this show, the episode begins with Mark visiting an old friend.  Luke Morgan (Joe Dorsey) grew up with Mark but, while Mark became a blue collar policeman, Luke went on to become a fabulously wealthy tycoon.  That actually seems a bit odd to me.  I mean, why has Mark never mentioned having a millionaire friend before?  All of the times that Jonathan and Mark have had to deal with other millionaires, Mark has always acted like he’s had no experience being around wealthy people.  Now, suddenly, we discover that Mark just happens to have a millionaire friend?

Anyway, Luke invites Jonathan and Mark to stay at his mansion and that’s a good thing because Luke is their mission for the week.  Luke devoted so much time to building up his business that he often wasn’t around when his son, Gary (Lee Montgomery, the kid who got crushed by the chimney in Burnt Offerings), was growing up.  Now Gary is in his twenties and his relationship with his father is strained.  Gary spends all of time lifting weights and working with his computers.  Luke wants to take a road trip with Gary but Gary refuses.  Mark makes a bet with Gary.  If Mark can lift more weight than Gary, Gary will go on the trip.  Jonathan temporarily gives Mark “the stuff.”  Mark wins the bet.  Gary goes on the trip!

Luke, it turns out, is dying.  He has Leukemia and he doesn’t have much time left.  He wants to patch things up with his son before he dies but he doesn’t want Gary to know that he’s dying.  Mark, realizing that Gary needs to know, tells Gary anyway.  Gary accuses Mark of lying but then he realizes that his father actually is dying.  Gary stops being a brat and he and his father enjoy their last road trip together.  Eventually, Gary reveals that he knows the truth.  He knows that Luke is dying.  Gary finally says that he loves his father and Luke says the loves his child.

And that’s pretty much the episode!  This was a pretty simple episode but it still made me cry.  It makes me think about all the people in my life who have passed on.  Every moment that you have with someone is precious and I think that people tend to take those moments for granted.  You never know when someone could get into a wreck while trying to drive home from the store.  I know when my Dad was in his car accident last May, I never expected him to die in August.  I’d give anything to have those final moments back.

This episode is sentimental and earnest and heavy-handed but it is also an example of what Highway to Heaven does so well.

 

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.25 “The Yacht”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Jason and Scott do something stupid!

Episode 1.25 “The Yacht”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 16th, 1999)

Because they’re dumbasses, Scott and Jason accidentally destroy their father’s new watch.  At first, they try to do the right thing and buy him a new watch.  But it turns out that watch cost $2,000!

How can they possibly raise $2,000?

Hey, here’s an idea!  Maybe they can just borrow Murray’s yacht and throw a casino night!  (Actually, the yacht belongs to Murray’s father but whatever.)  Surely, that’ll be enough to raise $2,000!

Uhmm …. hey, guys?  Let’s think about this logically.  It’s a casino night.  Now, admittedly, you’ve got the yacht for free because it belongs to Murray’s Dad.  Still, you have to rent (or buy) all of the slot machines, roulette wheels, and poker tables that are necessary for a casino night.  You have to pay the dealers at each table.  You probably have to pay security to keep an eye on all the money that’s floating around.  You have to pay for all the refreshments.  If you have the money to put on a casino night then guess what?  YOU’VE GOT THE MONEY TO REPLACE YOUR DAD’S WATCH!

Good Lord, this show is stupid!

Anyway, Murray shows up at casino night wearing a white captain’s uniform and for once, I agreed with the audiences applause.  Murray looked good!  Brandon Brooks has been this season’s saving grace and he was the best thing about this episode.  Unfortunately, Murray panics when he hears that his father is coming home early.  He tries to steer the yacht back to the docks and instead, he accidentally hits a reef.  The $2,000,000 yacht sinks!

We have spent this entire season hearing about what a monster Murray’s Dad is.  This is the first episode in which he actually appears and he turns out to actually be a pretty cool guy.  Yes, he’s upset that his yacht sank.  And yes, Murray’s in some trouble.  But Murray’s dad says he’s still proud of Murray for taking responsibility.  Awww, what a great guy!

And what a stupid episode!

Actually, speaking of stupid, check out the B-plot.  Stads wants to star in a film about lifeguard training.  Since Traycee’s an actress, she agrees to teach Stads how to perform on camera.  Stads accepts Traycee’s help but doesn’t ever really seem to appreciate it.  As you can probably guess, Traycee ends up with the role and Stads gets even more upset.  At this point, I’m a little bit bored with episodes that center around Stads getting upset about stuff.  Stads is always upset about something.  Even when something good happens to her, Stads gets upset about it.  Stads started out as an interesting character but, halfway through the season, the show’s writers decided to just make her into a permanent killjoy.

Speaking of killing joy, this season is nearly over!  Next week, season one comes to a close.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.6 “The Hole”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters goes to Vietnam.

Episode 3.6 “The Hole”

(Dir by David Severeid, originally aired on November 4th, 1990)

At the height of the Vietnam War, two U.S. Marines and their guide stumble upon a hole in the middle of a deserted village.  Lowering themselves into the hole, they find a complex maze of tunnels.  The Viet Cong dug the tunnels so that they could move and smuggle weapons without being seen by their enemies.  But as the guide (played by Glenn Kubota) explains it, they dug their tunnels so deep that they awakened a far more evil power.

More evil than communism?  This is a scary episode!

Soon, Sgt. Kenner (Ahmad Rashad) and Corporal Torres (Antone Pagan) find themselves being pursued through the tunnels by zombies.  Kenner is determined to fight and destroy as many of the undead as possible.  Torres just wants to get out of the tunnels.  But it turns out that finding their way out is not as easy as Kenner and Torres assumed it would be.  And the men are definitely at a disadvantage because the zombies know the maze.  The maze is their home.

This episode is surprisingly straight-forward.  There aren’t any huge twists or anything of that sort.  Three men enter a tunnel system and find themselves being pursued by zombies.  The underground maze of tunnels is properly atmospheric location and I did jump a few times when the zombies suddenly appeared coming around a corner.  The zombie makeup was well-done and this episode was a bit gorier than the average episode of Monsters.  The special effects brought to mind the grotesque imagery of the Italian zombie films.  This episode owed quite a bit to the legacy of Lucio Fulci.

That said, I do wish the episode had been a bit more surprising.  It was so straight-forward that it actually become a bit predictable.  I’ve seen enough George Romero films to know exactly what was going to happen to each person who entered the maze.  The episode was brutally effective but it’s still hard not to feel that the plot needed an unexpected twist that just didn’t come.  In fact, as I watched the episode, I found myself thinking about how a film like Cannibal Apocalypse managed to make a powerful statement about the horror of war by portraying Vietnam vets who had been infected by the cannibal virus while serving in the conflict.  I also thought about how Fulci, at his best, crafted zombie films that reminded us of just how fragile the human body actually is.  There wasn’t much subtext to found in The Hole and that’s a shame because often the most interesting thing about a zombie story is the subtext.

Still, the episode worked in its own crude way.  The undead are frightening, no matter where they appear.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.14 “Good Neighbors/Captain’s Portrait/Familiar Faces”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Captain Stubing poses for a portrait.

Episode 5.14 “Good Neighbors/Captain’s Portrait/Familiar Faces”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on January 9th, 1982)

Don York (Sonny Shroyer) is an ad man who is so famous that even Gopher knows who he is.  Don gets really excited when he sees Doris Weldon (Arlene Golonka) boarding the boat.  Don rushes over and starts to hit on her.  He even notices that, according to the tag on her luggage, they live in the same building in Los Angeles!  They’re neighbors!  Too bad Doris refuses to date anyone who lives in the same building as her.  Don spends the entire cruise trying to get Doris to reconsider.  Personally, I suspected that Doris was just using the “neighbor” thing as an excuse to avoid telling Don that he’s very annoying and kind of pushy.  Stuff like that never happens on The Love Boat, though.  Instead, Doris is definitely attracted to Don but she doesn’t want him living next door.   Will things work out for Don and Doris?

Stan (Dean Butler) and Laura Barber (Mary Beth McDonough) are newlyweds.  Stan has the bar exam coming up so he’s brought his law books with him on his honeymoon.  (Boo!  Nerd!)  Stan’s future seems bright until he sees that Frank Jenson (Henry Jones) is also on the cruise.  Frank once owned the liquor store where Stan used to hang out when he was an alcoholic.  Stan apologizes for stealing from the store.  Frank accuses Stan of beating him up, something that Stan says didn’t happen.  Will things work for Stan, Laura, and Frank?

Of course, things will work out for them.  The is The Love Boat and things always work out on The Love Boat!  Both of the stories were okay but they were also kind of boring and predictable.  The more interesting story for this cruise featured Lee Meriwether as Barbara Baden, an artist who has been hired by the cruise line to paint a picture of Captain Stubing.  Apparently, any captain who sticks with the line for ten years gets their picture painted and hung in the corporate offices.

As you can probably already guess, the Captain and the artist end up falling for each other.  And if you didn’t already guess that Barbara’s portrait of the Captain would be a nude portrait that she ends up doing from memory after they become lovers, you’ve really never watched an episode of The Love Boat before.  Fortunately, it’s also an abstract painting and no one knows that they’re looking at a nude painting of the Captain.  In fact, the painting is so abstract that I get the feeling that the cruise line isn’t going to demand its money back.  This story was entertaining due to how uncomfortable Stubing was with being painted.  Gavin MacLeod did a good job portraying his nervousness and his panic when he discovered the painting was about to be unveiled made me chuckle a little.

Overall, this was kind of a bland episode.  But at least the scenery was pleasant.  It still provided a nice hour away from reality.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.3 “No Man’s Land”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

It’s time for another trip to the beach!

Episode 1.3 “No Man’s Land”

(Dir by Michael Levine and John Bush, originally aired on March 16th, 1996)

Uh-oh!  There’s Nazis on the beach.

We know that Carl (Ryan Alosio) is a Nazi because he owns a bar that is decorated, on the outside, with a swastika.  Then, on the inside, there are many more swastikas and a German flag and a picture of Adolf Hitler hanging on the wall.  My question is who sold the bar to Carl and how exactly is he not violating any zoning laws?  Throughout the show, we’re constantly told that Carl can do whatever he wants on his property but don’t most towns have rules about what you can and cannot display in a business district?  We’re told that Carl has a criminal record and his arms are covered in Nazi tattoos so, once again, I have to wonder who sold him the bar.  There are a lot regulations and paperwork involved in opening up your own small business.  That’s especially true if your business is going to be selling alcohol.  I guess my point is that I just have a hard time believing that Carl’s Nazi bar would be allowed to stay open on the boardwalk.

Bizarrely, ordinary non-Nazis keep entering Carl’s Nazi bar.  Wouldn’t the swastika turn most people away?  I’m just saying that personally, I would not go in a building that was decorated with a swastika.  Anytime anyone who  is not a Nazi goes in Carl’s bar, Carl beats them up.  You really have to wonder how Carl is managing to stay in business.  I mean, let’s just accept that there’s enough Nazis in Santa Monica for Carl to have a steady customer base.  Carl is still asking those people to step into a building that is decorated with a swastika and basically announce their opinions to the world.  I would think at least some of the Santa Monica Nazis would be like, “No, I’d rather keep it a secret and go drink at a politically neutral bar.”  I mean, this isn’t some isolated club, like the place in Green Room.  This bar is sitting right in the middle of the boardwalk, where hundreds of people walk by each day.  Apparently, Santa Monica Nazis have no fear of being outed.

Like all Nazis, Carl is a jerk.  He beats up a vendor for selling churros in front of his bar.  He also harasses all of the non-white surfers.  You would think that this episode’s hero would be Officer Del Toro but instead, it falls to the very white T.C. Callaway to stand up to Carl and eventually drag him off to jail.  Callaway explains that he hates bullies.  That’s fine but it’s still more emotionally satisfying to watch a bully get beaten up by the bullied as opposed to by a concerned bystander.

We also get B-plot about a young graffiti artist named Melo (Christopher Babers) and Cory’s attempt to get Melo to see the error of his ways and instead use his artistic talent for something good.  And Mayor Mickey Dolenz spends the episode panicking because there’s an election to coming up to determine whether or not to allow on the nudity on the beach.  It’s pretty dumb but it’s hard not to smile at Mickey Dolenz playing himself.

The main problem with this episode and the show as a while is that the cops look silly riding around on their bikes.  When Cory and Victor head down a flight of stairs to catch Melo tagging a tunnel, they have to pick up and carry their bikes with them and it was hard not to laugh.  Whenever someone says, “This is Bike 1 responding,” to a crime call, I just imagine a dispatcher grimacing and thinking, I was hoping for a real cop.  Watching CHiPs and then this episode made me appreciate how much better motorcycles are than bicycles.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.2 “Dancing Lady/The Final Round”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Fantasy Island feels familiar.

Episode 6.2 “Dancing Lady/The Final Round”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on October 23rd, 1982)

It’s another dancing and boxing episode!

I have lost track of how many Fantasy Island stories have centered around either dancing or boxing but I know that they’ve been the subject of multiple episodes every season.  The fantasies always seem to play out the same as well.  A young boxer has a shot at the championship but taking one wrong blow could end their career or even their life.  And a woman with a boring job — usually, she’s a receptionist — wants to be the world’s greatest dancer but, in the end, discovers that love is the most important thing.  Usually, the familiarity of the stories is a part of Fantasy Island‘s charm but I have to admit that I spent this entire episode wondering if I had seen it before.  The fantasies felt so familiar that, ultimately, everyone just seemed to be going through the motions.

The dancer was Kristy Lee (Lynda Goodfriend), who was given a special powder that would give her the ability to be the world’s greatest dancer.  I know what you’re thinking and no, it was not cocaine.  Instead, it was dust that had been gathered from the world’s greatest theaters and which had magical powers only when used on Fantasy Island.  Using the dust, Kristy auditioned for a spot in a musical showcase starring Ray Tucker (Ken Berry), a down-on-his-luck dancer looking to make a comeback.  Unfortunately, Kristy was so good that Ray feared she would overshadow him.  Ray had to find his confidence and Kristy had to learn that she could dance beautifully even without the magic dust because, according to Roarke, the power of love is all one needs.  (That laughter you hear is coming from every dance teacher I’ve ever had.)  The highlight of this fantasy was Ray Bolger, playing a Broadway producer who happened to be an old friend of Roarke’s.  Bolger and Ricardo Montalban, two old show business pros, seemed to really enjoy working together.  As well, Bolger’s producer had a nice scene where he and Tattoo spoke in French to each other.  It was a fun little moment and, if nothing else, it indicated that both Roarke and Tattoo have lives outside of greeting people on Fantasy Island.

The boxing story featured Al Molinaro as Max, a trainer who wanted to train someone for an exhibition match against the world champion.  Max got his chance to train the enthusiastic Tommy Rudolph (William R. Moses) but, when Max’s ex-girlfriend (Rue McClanahan) warned him that one more concussion could possibly kill Tommy, Max had to make a decision.  Would he push Tommy to keep fighting or would he thrown in the towel after Tommy took a few shots to the head?  Max, of course, did the right thing.

As I said, it was all pretty predictable and familiar.  At least Tattoo got to have some fun.  Along with speaking French, he also got to put on a bookie outfit and then take bets on the outcome of the fight.  When Roarke told Tattoo to cancel all the bets, Tattoo replied that being a bookie was his fantasy!

Hey, it made me laugh,

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.5 “Death Watch”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, someone dies!  OH MY GOD!

Episode 3.5 “Death Watch”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on October 13th, 1979)

Dennis (Christopher Stone) is a veteran movie stunt driver who has never gotten over the tragic death of his child and the way he was treated by a heartless insurance company.  He now drives up and down the freeway, looking for drivers who look like they have good insurance.  Using his stunt skills, he causes accidents and then, under one of many assumed names, he files an insurance claim.  Dennis’s wife (played by Dee Wallace, who was married to Stone at the time) thinks that Dennis is taking things too far but Dennis is convinced that he’s earned the right to commit insurance fraud.  As he puts it, the companies have enough money that it’s not going to hurt them if he steals some of it.

Unfortunately, his latest attempt to cause an accident results in a delivery van swerving to the side of the road and striking two policemen who have pulled over a drunk driver.  One of the policeman is series regular Bear (played by Brodie Greer).  The other is a guy named Steve (Stephen Parr) who we’ve never seen before but who is quickly established as being everyone’s best friend.  Or, I guess, he was everyone’s best friend as he dies shortly after being taken to the hospital.  I have to admit that Steve dying was a bit jarring.  It’s rare that anyone on CHiPs is seriously injured, much less killed.

The highway patrol officers are shaken by Steve’s death.  Ponch and Baker go to the station’s gym and work off their frustration.  Jon lifts weights.  Ponch takes off his shirt and starts hitting a punching bag and, despite the tragedy of the situation, it was hard not to laugh at the show using it as an excuse for Erik Estrada to once again take off his shirt.

The members of the highway patrol attend Steve’s funeral.  It’s pretty somber until Bear rolls into the church in his wheelchair and everyone breaks out into a huge smile.  They’re happy that Bear survived but I do have to wonder how Steve’s family felt when they saw all those smiles and heard the officers joking amongst themselves.  I guess they should have been happy that Ponch actually wore pants and a shirt to the funeral as opposed to showing up in a speedo.  Seriously, if anyone would do that, it would be Ponch.

All of the bad drivers are brought to justice.  The driver of the delivery van loses his job.  Dennis goes to prison.  By the end of the episode, everyone’s in a good mood again.  Rest in peace, Steve!

This episode deserves some credit for trying to deal with a serious issue.  Death is a big deal.  Unfortunately, CHiPs really isn’t the best format for heart-rendering drama.  Even after Steve was killed, the show still teased the audience with the promise of another crash.  In the end, the main message seemed to be that it was better to lose Steve than Bear …. or, God forbid, Ponch!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.14 “Cuba Libre”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, everyone’s moved on from Zito’s death.

Episode 3.14 “Cuba Libre”

(Dir by Virgil W. Vogel, originally aired on January 23rd, 1987)

A routine drug bust at the mansion of Armando Rojas (Willie Colon) goes wrong when a group of masked gunmen show up and demand that Rojas give him all their money.  The gunmen kill a young vice cop and get into a gunfight with Crockett and Tubbs (who are, as usual, pretending to be Burnett and Cooper).  The gunmen make their escape but Crockett suspects that this was more than just a fight amongst drug dealers.  As he tells Castillo, the gunmen acted more like “Quantico than Colombia.”  Since the dead vice cop was a protegee of Crockett’s, Crockett is taking this one personally!

Unfortunately, for Crockett, the FBI doesn’t want him to take this one personally.  The gunmen work for Paco Zamora (Joe Urla), a Cuban refugee who has been working for the government ever since the Bay of Pigs.  Zamora is looking to raise money so that he can overthrow Fidel Castro.  (Boo!  Castro!  Boo!)  Crockett and Tubbs go — *sigh* — undercover as Burnett and Cooper to discover Zamora’s plans.  “Burnett” says that he wants to rip off “Cooper.”  I know I kind of harp on this but I always have to roll my eyes whenever Crockett and Tubbs do the whole Burnett and Cooper thing.  After three seasons of them arresting and killing everyone who falls for the Burnett/Cooper con, you would think the Miami underworld would have caught on by now!  I mean, wasn’t Frank Zappa going to tell everyone in Miami not to trust Sonny Burnett?  Do people in Miami just not share information with each other?  Are they just that easily fooled?  No wonder Fidel Castro hung onto power for all those years.  (Boo!  Castro!  Boo!)

Anyway, it turns out that there is a member of Castro’s (boo!) government visiting Miami and Zamora and his army are planning on assassinating him.  Crockett and Tubbs and the Vice Squad have to stop an international incident from happening in Florida.  Or — considering all of the people that Castro had assassinated over the years (Boo!) — maybe they could have just stayed out of it and let Zamora do his thing.  Seriously, in what world is a Southern good old boy and former CIA-connected football player like Sonny Crockett going to be so concerned with protecting the lives of communist diplomats?  Is that was Larry Zito died for!?  Regardless and as usuasl, everything ends with a shoot-out in which Sonny makes his final argument with a bullet.  Pauline Kael once wrote that Oliver Stone had left-wing politics but a right-wing sensibility and that’s certainly true of Miami Vice as well.

This episode felt pretty routine.  Especially after all the emotional drama of the previous two episodes, Cuba Libre felt like an example of the show on autopilot.