This film was produced as a direct result of the box office success of I Was A Teenage Werewolf. Just as in Teenage Werewolf, Whit Bissell plays a mad scientist who makes the mistake of trying to play God. (He also makes the mistake of keeping an alligator in his lab but that’s another story.) The end result …. Teenage Frankenstein!
The makeup on the Teenage Frankenstein is probably the best thing about this film. If nothing else, this film features a monster who actually looks like he was stitched together in a lab.
1957’s I Was A Teenage Werewolf combines two genres that were very popular in the late 50s.
On the one hand, it’s a film about a teenage rebel. Tony Rivers (Michael Landon) is a teenager that means well but he keeps losing his temper. If he can’t learn to control his anger, he could very well be looking at a life behind bars.
On the other hand, it’s also a horror film. When Tony visits a hypnotist (Whit Bissell), the end result is Tony turning into a werewolf and going on a rampage, all while still wearing his letterman jacket.
Today’s song comes the hypnotic soundtrack of Paul Schrader’s Cat People. This song was so good that it later showed up and was used to equally strong effect in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds.
In fact, it took me so long to appreciate this film that I’m writing a second review it. I initially reviewed The Canyons way back in 2013, the same year that it was released. I praised Lindsay Lohan’s performance as Tara, an actress who is living with a sociopathic producer named Christian (adult film actor James Deen, who was a bit of a celebrity when this film came out but whose star has dimmed considerably since). I complained that the film was too slow and that director Paul Schrader seemed to be trying too hard to find some sort of existential meaning within Bret Easton Ellis’s pulpy script. Though I didn’t really mention it in my initial review, I also felt that rest of the cast was rather dull. Lohan was great, playing a character to whom she could probably relate. Deen was stiff but oozed enough charm to be believable as the manipulative Christian. The rest of the largely unknown cast came across as being dull and somewhat lost.
Though I was nowhere near as critical of The Canyons as some critics, I still was not initially impressed. I thought of it as being a showcase for Lohan’s attempted comeback and little else. But I have to admit that The Canyons has stuck with me. It’s a film that I’ve rewatched more than a few times. While all of the flaws are still there, I have come to better appreciate the film’s languid decadence. I’ve come to see that there was a bit more wit to both Ellis’s script and Schrader’s direction than I initially realized. James Deen’s performance as Christian has grown on me. I like that he’s a neurotic sociopath. He’s evil but he’s needy and, though he’ll never admit it, he knows that he’ll be nothing if Tara ever leaves him. He’s desperate to be loved but he has no idea how to give that love back.
When I first saw the movie, I thought Nolan Funk, who played Tara’s ex-lover, was a bit dull in the role. Upon subsequent rewatches, I’ve come to see that his dullness is actually very important to the film. Ryan is written to be boring. That’s why Tara is drawn to him. His dullness provides some relief from Christian’s mood swings. But, because Ryan is so boring, he can also never truly take Christian’s place. In the end, Ryan still sells out his integrity, first to get a part and then to obsessively check in on Tara. Ryan and Christian are ultimately revealed to be two sides of the same coin. Ryan may be “the good guy,” but — in a typical Ellis and Schrader twist — there’s nothing likable or even that good about him. One gets the feeling that, if had Christian’s money, he would be just as bad.
You really do find yourself feeling sorry for Tara, who is basically trapped between two men who both want to control her. Lohan’s performance continues to be the strongest things about The Canyons. There’s a lot of courage to Lohan’s performance, courage that goes beyond taking part in the film’s sex scenes. Lohan reveals the vulnerability that’s at the heart of Tara. She’s someone who knows that she needs to escape but she also knows that she’s a creation of Hollywood. Hollywood is her home and her world and it’s hard to imagine her surviving anywhere else. Tara is interesting not because she’s trapped but because, in many ways, she would prefer to be trapped to being free.
The film’s flaws are still there, don’t get me wrong. The Canyons still has a lot of moments that don’t quite work. The opening scene, where Christian, Ryan, Tara, and Gina (Amanda Brooks, whose performance also improves on repeat viewing) have an awkward dinner, is almost laughably bad. (In that opening scene, James Deen delivers his dialogue like Dirk Diggler in Angels Live In my Town.) That said, this is a trashy and colorful movie that does stick with you. You might not want it to stick with you but it does! It’s portrayal of sexual decadence and neurotic Hollywood players is far more entertaining than it has any right to be. It may not be a great film but it is one that’s a bit more interesting than many originally thought.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, Ponch’s mom comes to visit! Will she get on a motorcycle? Uhmm …. no. She doesn’t. It probably would have been cool if she had. She could have helped chase down this week’s set of bad guys. This seems like a missed opportunity. It’s still a good episode, though.
Episode 2.18 “Rally ‘Round The Bank”
(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired February 3rd, 1979)
Ponch is nervous because his mom, who is deathly afraid of flying, has boarded an airplane and flown from Chicago to Los Angeles to visit him. (In this episode, we discover that Ponch’s family apparently got rich and moved to Chicago sometime between the end of the first and the start of the second season.) Why is Ponch’s mother visiting? Ponch isn’t sure. He spends a lot of time worrying but, in the end, it turns out that his mother (well-played by Anna Navarro, no relation to that annoying woman on TheView) came to town because Baker and Getraer called to tell her that Ponch would be receiving a special safety citation from Getraer.
Awwwww!
Apparently, Ponch has gone a whole year without crashing his motorcycle. I’m pretty sure I saw Ponch crash his motorcycle just a few episodes ago but whatever. The important thing is that this is actually a good Ponch episode. For once, Erik Estrada’s tendency to overact is not a distraction and his relationship with his mom is actually really sweet. When I watched this episode, my first thought was that Navarro looked way too young to be Estrada’s mother. If anything, she actually looked like she might be a few years younger than him. Then I checked with imdb and discovered that Navarro actually was sixteen years older than Estrada.
(I will admit that Anna Navarro — again, the actress and not that annoying woman who hosted a day of the Democratic National Convention — reminded me a lot of my own mom, which is maybe one reason why I liked this episode more than I thought I would.)
Ponch and Baker also find time to chase after two bank robbers, played by Frank Ashmore and Ron Hajak. Because the robbers are a part of a nation-wide rally race that is passing through Los Angeles, Ponch and Baker get to know some of the other racers. Two women invite Ponch and Baker to a square dance. Baker has to decline so Ponch brings Getraer instead. Getraer turns out to be a surprisingly good dancer. Ponch’s mom comes to the square dance as well and, for a few minutes, I thought maybe she and Getraer were going to announce to the world that they were in love. That would have been a great CHiPs moment but it didn’t happen. That’s another missed opportunity.
Missed opportunities aside, this was a good episode. It was fun and it was sweet and it made me smile.
Tonight’s episode tells the story of three sailors who hear an unexpected message on the radio. Two of the sailors hear that their ship will soon sink. The third sailor hears that he will live a long and fulfilling life.
One Step Beyond always claimed that all of its stories were “based on fact.” This episode actually goes the extra mile by interviewing one of the real-life sailors about the message and about whether or not he believes in the supernatural.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, even more innocent lives are destroyed by an unwinnable war on drugs.
Episode 3.5 “The Good Collar”
(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on October 24th, 1986)
This week’s episode of Miami Vice tells the story of several wars playing out on the streets of Miami.
One of the wars is the skirmish between two street gangs, made up exclusively of teenagers. Led by Count Walker (Samuel Graham), the Regular Fellas are pushing drugs and even forcing a promising football star named Archie Ellis (Keith Diamond) to deliver a package of black tar heroin for them. The Regular Fellas are at war with The Apostles. Among the members of the Apostles is Ramirez (Jsu Garcia), an undercover cop who is actually 23 but who is pretending to be seventeen.
When Crockett and Tubbs bust Archie, all three of them find themselves dragged into the National War On Drugs. Assistant State Attorney William Pepin (Terry Kinney) wants to take Count Walker down, if just so he can claim a rare victory. When Archie helps Crockett and Tubbs make a bust and also saves them from getting shot in a back alley, Pepin agrees to drop all the charges against Archie. But after Ramirez is blown up by the Regular Fellas, Pepin decides that he’s going to go ahead and charge Archie unless Archie wears a wire and gets Count Walker to confess to his crimes.
Crockett, the former football star, is outraged by Pepin’s decision to put Archie in danger. Crockett even offers to doctor the records so that Archie’s arrest will be dismissed by the courts. However, Archie refuses. Archie says that he’s responsible for his own mistakes and he’ll deal with the consequences. Unfortunately, in this case, the consequences involve Archie being shot and killed by Count Walker, though not before getting Walker to confess on tape. Walker is arrested and his gang is destroyed but at the cost of Archie’s life. Pepin is happy. Ramierz’s supervisor, Lt. Lee Atkins (John Spencer), is happy. But social worker Ed McCain (Charles S. Dutton) blames Crockett for Archie’s death. And Archie’s grandmother slams the door in Crockett’s face when he attempts to come by to pay his final respects.
What a dark episode! However, it does get to the truth of the matter. There was no way to win the War on Drugs. Even the victories in this episode feel hollow. Regular viewers of Miami Vice would have understood that someone else would eventually step into the vacuum left by Walker’s arrest. Meanwhile, Archie — a good kid with the athletic talent necessary to win a college scholarship and have a chance to escape from the poverty that he grew up in — is shot and killed because a state’s attorney needed to notch up at least one victory. Miami Vice was at its best when it was cynical and it doesn’t get much more cynical than this heartbreaking episode.
Since Tor Johnson’s birthday was just 9 days ago, it only seems appropriate that today’s Horror on the Lens should be one that he starred in, 1961’s The Best Of Yucca Flats.
My friend, the writer and chef Tammy Dowden, claims that this is the worst movie ever made.
Well, technically, she may be right. The Beast of Yucca Flats is a thoroughly inept film that makes next to no sense and has massive continuity errors. It’s a film that also features the legendary Tor Johnson as a Russian scientist who gets mutated by radiation and becomes a monster, but not before taking off almost all of his clothes while walking through the desert. For that matter, it’s also a film about a family that comes together though adversity — namely, being shot at by the police after the family patriarch is somehow mistaken for Tor Johnson. And finally, it’s the story of how a dying monster can find comfort from a rabbit and that’s actually kind of a sweet message.
Here’s the thing — yes, The Beast of Yucca Flats is bad but you still owe it to yourself to watch it because you will literally never see anything else like it. Plus, maybe you’ll be able to figure out what the whole point of the opening scene is.
Because I’ve watched this film a few times and I still have no idea!
Today’s horror song of the day is the only hymn to Satan to have been nominated for an Oscar. From 1976’s The Omen, here is Ave Satani. Don’t sing along as much as you may be tempted too. We’ve all seen Hellraiser.
Composed by Jerry Goldsmith, this version of this song was performed by the Tenerife Film Orchestra and Choir.
Through the Shattered Lens