Tag Archives: review

ABOVE THE LAW – Steven Seagal’s action star debut! 

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Did any actor have a better opening act than Steven Seagal? His first five movies are all star turns in high quality, enjoyable action films, beginning with ABOVE THE LAW, and then moving forward to HARD TO KILL, MARKED FOR DEATH, OUT FOR JUSTICE and UNDER SIEGE. While UNDER SIEGE has been described as “Die Hard on a boat” and OUT FOR JUSTICE occupies the top spot as my personal favorite Steven Seagal film, today we will focus on the movie that started it all, ABOVE THE LAW, from 1988. 

ABOVE THE LAW begins with Nico Toscani (Steven Seagal) providing a voiceover of his early years as a kid in Chicago who became obsessed with the martial arts and who found himself studying with the masters in the orient by the age of 17. He’s clearly a badass. By 22, he’s been recruited by the CIA and is completing missions in Viet Nam. While on a mission, he runs into Zagon (Henry Silva), a CIA torturer, who seems to be able to do whatever he wants with no consequences. After knocking the crap out of Zagon, Toscani quits on the spot and heads back to Chicago to become a tough cop and marry Sara (Sharon Stone). While working a touchy family situation in the Windy City, he stumbles upon a potential drug deal going down soon in the city. He and his partner Delores (Pam Grier) set up the bust, but the product of choice turns out to be C4 explosives, not drugs. Wouldn’t you know that the folks behind these C4 explosives are the CIA and Toscani’s old pal Zagon. Can he stop his old adversary this time and still protect his family?!! 

My favorite Chuck Norris film is from 1985 and is called CODE OF SILENCE. I mention that because there are quite a few similarities between ABOVE THE LAW and CODE OF SILENCE. First, Andrew Davis directed both films. He’s a talented filmmaker who would later direct such solid action films as THE PACKAGE (Gene Hackman & Tommy Lee Jones), UNDER SIEGE (Seagal & Tommy Lee Jones), and THE FUGITIVE (Harrison Ford and an Oscar winning Tommy Lee Jones). I wonder now how this film was made without Tommy Lee Jones?!! Second, both films feature a tough cop who practices martial arts and beats the crap out of corruption within law enforcement. In the case of CODE OF SILENCE, it was the police force itself; in ABOVE THE LAW, it’s the Central Intelligence Agency. It’s my personal opinion that CODE OF SILENCE is Chuck Norris’ finest hour. Steven Seagal gets this same kind of bravado and credibility in his very first film role. That’s truly unique. And finally, both movies feature the awesome Henry Silva as the bad guy. Silva has been a bad guy in so many movies, and he’s just damn good at it. I recently watched him in THE TALL T with Randolph Scott from way, way back in 1957. Damn, his Chink’s a psycho. Combine that with his turn as Billy Score in SHARKY’S MACHINE with Burt Reynolds, and you have a guy who deserves to be in the villain hall of fame. These tried and true elements all help produce a fine feature film debut for Seagal! 

Just one final comment about the movie’s theme… we all would like to think that no one is above the law in the real world. Unfortunately, all we have to do is watch the news to know that’s simply not the case. Our world is full of people who actually are above the law. One of the best things about a movie like ABOVE THE LAW is that we can watch the movie, munch our popcorn, and just pretend for 100 minutes that justice does exist. It may not be completely realistic, but it’s definitely a satisfying thought!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.1 and 3.2 “Roller Disco”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, season three begins with a classic episode!

Episode 3.1 and 3.2 “Roller Disco”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on September 22nd, 1979)

It’s the roller disco episode!

From the moment that I first announced that I would be watching and reviewing CHiPs for this feature, people have been telling me about the legendary roller disco episode.  Having finally reached it, I can say that it lived up to the hype.  You’re not likely to see anything more 70s than the third season premiere of CHiPs.

Now, this was a two-hour episode so there were actually quite a few subplot going on, all of which were typical CHiPs storylines.  In no particular order:

  1. A kid named Mark (Bobby Rolofson) is roller skating around the beach and idolizing three criminals.  Can Baker show him that the good guys always win?
  2. The three criminals are Lita (Helena Kallianiotes), Ty (Fred Williamson), and Romo (Jim Brown).  Lita sets up the targets.  Ty and Romo steal their purses and their wallets and then escape on roller skates.  Ty and Romo are tired of breaking the law.  Lita demands that they continue to steal.  Eventually, it falls to Baker and Ponch to arrest them.
  3. Carlin (Larry Linville) and Franco (Larry Storch) continually cause accidents on the highway.
  4. Rock star Jimmy Tyler (Leif Garrett) is so tired that he sleeps through one of those accidents.  Looking to break free from his well-meaning but overbearing manager (Bill Daily), Jimmy decides to manage his own affairs while staying at Jon Baker’s apartment.

There’s a lot going on but the main plotline is Ponch trying to find celebrities to take part in the annual highway patrol fund raiser.  Even with his big smile, Ponch struggles to charm the celebs.  He pulls over Ed McMahon at one point but fails to recognize him until McMahon drives off.  Gatraer tells Ponch that police work comes first but also tells him that he has to find celebrities.  Gatraer’s been giving Ponch a hard time ever since the first season.  Some things never change.

Fortunately, Jimmy feels guilty for overstaying his welcome at Baker’s apartment and he makes it up to Baker and Ponch by asking his celebrity friends to take part in the fund raiser.  It’s time for a roller disco with the stars!

It all leads to this classic scene:

I recognized a few of the stars, though certainly not all of them.  I recognized Victor French because I’ve been reviewing Highway to Heaven.  I’ve also seen enough old sitcoms that I immediately recognized Robert Mandan, who was apparently the best roller skater in Hollywood.  Melissa Sue Anderson, I knew from Happy Birthday To Me.  Cindy Williams, who got two shout-outs, I knew from American Graffiti.  Is it just me or did Nancy Kulp look kind of lost?  Neither Melissa Sue Anderson nor Cindy Williams seemed to want to talk to her.

The roller disco actually goes on for fifteen minutes, which I appreciated.  The show promised a roller disco and it delivered.  It was like stepping into a time machine and traveling to the 70s.  It was a great way to start season three!

Because of the holidays, this is going to be my final CHiPs review of 2024.  My reviews of this show will return on January 6th!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.11 “Forgive Us Our Debts”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week’s episode took me by surprise!

Episode 3.11 “Forgive Us Our Debts”

(Dir by Jan Eliasberg, originally aired on December 12th, 1986)

Frank Hackman (Guy Boyd) has a date with Florida’s electric chair.  Even though he claims that he’s innocent of killing one of Sonny Crockett’s former partners, Hackman says that he’s guilty of killing others and, having become a Christian while on Death Row, he is prepared to pay the ultimate price.  He even suggests that his execution should be televised.

At first, Sonny is all for Hackman being executed.  But then, a priest calls the Vice Squad and tells them that one of his parishioners confessed to having evidence that could prove that Hackman was actually in Vegas when the murder occurred.  Sonny and the Squad track down Gus Albierro (Val Bisoglio), an auto mechanic who is dying of cancer and who says that he’s telling the truth to clear his conscience.   Not long after Gus talks to Crockett, Gus is executed in his garage.

Convinced that Hackman is innocent, Sonny and Tubbs have one day to find the other person who was with Gus and Hackman in Vegas.  That man turns out to be in the witness protection agency and, at first, he refuses to talk.  Then Crockett takes him outside and beats him up.

Long story short: After having had his head shaved for his date with the electric chair, Hackman’s life is saved and he leaves prison a free man….

Now, up until this point, I felt that this episode was just another rather heavy-handed diatribe against the death penalty.  Miami Vice, as a show, always leaned towards the Left and this episode features two smarmy Florida politicians who are eager to prove how tough they are on crime.  I thought the whole episode was a bit too obvious in its storytelling and I thought my review would focus on the hypocrisy of Miami Vice criticizing the death penalty when almost every episode has ended with the bad guys being taken down in a hail of bullets.

(On a personal note, I’m against the death penalty because I think there is too much of a risk of an innocent person being executed.  But, still, I’m not a fan of heavy-handed storytelling, regardless of whether I agree with the larger point or not.)

But this episode had one final twist waiting up its sleeve.  Hackman steps out of prison and sees Sonny waiting for him.  Sonny is feeling pretty proud of himself.  He saved an innocent man, right?  Wrong!  Hackman proceeds to tell Sonny that he actually did kill Sonny’s former partner and that Gus lied in return for Hackman’s friends sending money to his family.  That guy in witness protection who, at first, refused to testify?  He was working with Hackman, too.

“I won’t need this anymore,” Hackman says, yanking off the cross that was hanging out around his neck.

And that’s how the episode ends!  The bad guys triumph and it’s pretty much all Sonny’s fault!  This was the most cynical episode of Miami Vice yet.  The ending totally took me by surprise and it made me realize that, rather than being a heavy-handed and polemical, this episode was actually extremely clever and perfectly put together.  Just as Hackman fooled Sonny, Miami Vice fooled the viewer (in this case, me).  This turned out to be an excellent episode and certainly the best of season 3 so far.

Because of the holidays, this is my last Miami Vice review of 2024.  My reviews of Miami Vice will resume on January 6th, 2025!

LAST HOLIDAY – a genuine feel good movie! 

Posted on by Bradley Crain

My wife and I often have very different tastes in movies, but every now and then she’ll introduce a movie to me that I really enjoy despite my own cynical reservations. LAST HOLIDAY is such a movie. 

Queen Latifah plays Georgia, a clerk in a department store in New Orleans. She works hard, lives according to her means, secretly loves one of her fellow employees Sean (LL Cool J), and dreams. She dreams of being a great chef and falling in love and having a family… someday. This all seems small and unimportant though when she’s given the news that she has brain cancer and will be dead in a few weeks. Armed with this news, she cashes in her savings and heads off on a trip of a lifetime, determined to enjoy the last moments of her life. 

There are several things that I really appreciate about LAST HOLIDAY. First, Queen Latifah’s character Georgia is just a quality person. She treats people right, she works hard, she’s kind. This isn’t played as weakness either. She has a quiet dignity in a world where so many others are only worried about themselves. I wish there were more characters like this in cinema. Second, she has the opportunity to “live like you were dying.” I don’t know how many of y’all are familiar with the Tim McGraw song of the same name, but how different would we live our lives if we knew just how limited our time really is? We all worry so much about little things that don’t really matter in the big picture. It’s very satisfying as we watch Georgia enjoy herself with a freedom she has denied herself up to this point in her life. Third, we’re able to see how Georgia’s decency and honesty affects the other characters in the film. Once Georgia stops hiding her true thoughts and feelings, she begins to have an amazing impact on those around her. I think we’re all looking for connections with people where we can share who we really are. Whether it be Chef Didier (Gerard Depardieu), Gunther (Susan Kellerman) or Ms. Burns (Alicia Witt), Georgia affects others by being genuine. She doesn’t do anything spectacular, either. She’s just herself and that’s enough. There’s something powerful about that.

At the end of the day, LAST HOLIDAY is a feel good holiday film that aims to send us home with a smile on our face. It accomplishes that goal and a little more. Thanks to my wife, I gave LAST HOLIDAY a chance, and now I heartily recommend it. 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.4 “Dream On”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

Love is in the air …. for some.

Episode 1.4 “Dream On”

(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on November 20th, 1989)

I hate bullies.

Sadly, bullies are a part of life and they have been since the start of recorded history.  I imagine that even cavemen had their own versions of bullies and nerds.  Bullies deal with their own insecurities by picking on outsiders.  Most people hate bullies but they keep quiet when they see bullying because the unspoken threat is that, if they speak up, they could be the next one to be targeted.  That’s especially true in high school.

Degrassi High has its own set of bullies.  The episode features Tabi (Michele Johnson-Murray), who has decided to spend all of her time standing in front of the ninth grade lockers and refusing to allow the niners to use them.  When Kathleen and Melanie walk by Tabi, Tabi sprays her hairspray in Melanie’s eyes.  That’s not just rude but it’s also potentially dangerous.  Kathleen is usually not a particularly likable character but, when she finally stood up to Tabi at the end of this episode and yelled at her to get away from the lockers, I wanted to cheer.  Kathleen stands up to Tabi and a stunned Tabi walks away, saying something about niners being crazy but surrendering nonetheless.  Yay, Kathleen!

Where did Kathleen find the confidence to stand up to Tabi?  In this episode, she finally gets a boyfriend!  Scott Smith (Byrd Dickens) is an 11th grader with a really ugly mustache.  Looking at Scott, one can automatically smell the beer and see a future in which he spends all of time getting drunk at hockey games.  That said, he seems to like Kathleen and he encourages her to try out for the school play.  He even escorts her across the quad, which Tabi and her friend Dwayne previously declared to be off-limits for anyone in the ninth grade.  Kathleen has a boyfriend and there’s no way this could go wrong, right?  I mean, it’s not as if the Degrassi franchise has a long history of episodes in which insecure girls end up with older boyfriends who turn out to be abusive, right?

Meanwhile, Arthur has a crush on Caitlin and he’s overjoyed when he overhears Caitlin talking about how she’s getting tired of dating Joey, who is insensitive and only cares about his “dumb band.”  However, it turns out that Caitlin is not interested in Arthur.  Instead, she likes Claude, who has a goat-tee and is massively concerned about the environment.  Claude (pronounced “Klohd” because he’s either really pretentious or he’s from Quebec and maybe both) invites Caitlin to a French movie.

“Do you know Jean-Luc Godard?” Claude asks.

“No, does he go here?” Caitlin replies.

It’s okay.  When I was fourteen, I didn’t know who Jean-Luc Godard was either.  That said, I am old enough now to know that Godard’s post-70s films were not exactly date material.  Maybe Claude is asking her to a showing of Breathless.  Still, I think Claude should have waited for a Truffaut and a Lelouch film to come to town.

My point is that Claude is kind of a douchebag.  It’s obvious to everyone but Caitlin but sometimes, relationships are like that.  That’s especially true when there’s an age and educational difference.  I can understand Caitlin liking Claude, even if Claude seems pretty annoying to everyone else.  But I can’t see this relationship ending well.

Oh well — at least Joey has time to work on the band!  We all know from watching Degrassi: The Next Generation that Joey’s future lies in selling cars, not playing the keyboards.

And don’t worry about Arthur.  He may get his heart-broken in this episode but the actor apparently had a growth spurt between Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High and he now basically towers over everyone in the cast.  No one is ever going to bully Arthur again.

Next week, the drama continues!

 

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 1.9 “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, season one comes to a close.

Episode 1.9 “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”

(Dir by Wayne Ewing, originally aired on March 24th, 1993)

It’s another day in Baltimore.

While the rain falls and the cold wind blows, Detectives Howard and Felton investigate another murder and, for once, it’s Detective Howard who is getting distracted and irritable.  Felton lights a cigarette.  The witnesses all light cigarettes.  The uniformed cops light cigarettes.  The medical examiner looks over a body and lights a cigarette.  Howard bites into a celery stick.  To his horror, Felton realizes that Howard is trying to quite smoking and, therefore, she is going to be Hell to work with until she eventually gives up.  Howard swears that she’s not going to give up,  She’s dating State’s Attorney Ed Danvers and he’s not a huge fan of smoking.  Howard later assures Pembleton that sex with Danvers is so mind-blowing that it’s worth giving up cigarettes.

Bayliss is trying to give up cigarettes as well.  He’s doing it for his health.  (Sorry, Danvers!)  His attempt to go smoke-free lasts for a day or two.  He gives in while on a stake-out with Howard, Pembleton, and Felton.  Bayliss is so desperate to bum a cigarette that detectives nearly miss capturing their suspect.

Meanwhile, Lt. Giardello is shocked to discover that the upper flood of the building, the floor right above his department, has been closed for asbestos removal.  No one bothered to tell the detectives that they were working in a toxic environment.  Actually, with all the cigarette smoke, I doubt they would have noticed.  As always, Yaphet Kotto’s performance was one of the highlights of this episode.  Both his outrage over the asbestos and his joy about having found something to hold over the head of Captain Barnfather were wonderful to watch.

Finally, Munch and Bolander investigate the death of a 14 year-old boy who was beaten to death as a part of a gang initiation.  Fortunately, the members of the gang are not very smart.  One suspect confesses all that he knows after Munch and Bolander hook him up to what they claim is an atomic-powered lie detector that causes sterility.  (It’s actually the xerox machine.)  The head of the gang turns out to be a snot-nosed, middle class kid who says that the murder was an act of kindness.  A disgusted Bolander ends the episode, sitting in a bar and talking about how American society destroyed Elvis.  The bartender is played by a bemused John Waters.

This episode was originally meant to be the final episode of season one.  NBC, not wanting to end the first season on such a downbeat note, instead decided that Night of the Dead Living should be the finale, despite the fact that moving the episodes around caused all sorts of continuity problems.  For the purpose of the site, I’m reviewing the episodes in the order that they were meant to be shown.  So, for us, this is indeed the season finale.

And what a dark way to end the season!  But it also feels like the right way to end season one.  In its first season, Homicide was not an optimistic series.  The murder of Adena Watson went unsolved.  Bolander is alone and still pining for his ex-wife.  No matter how many murders are solved, there’s always another one right around the corner.  The first season of Homicide would have been downright depressing if not for the sense of humor of the detectives.  It was gallows humor, of course.  But it was very much needed.

Season one featured some great episodes (Three Men and Adena, the pilot, Night of the Dead Living) but it faltered towards the end.  Bolander’s relationship with Carol was never as interesting as the show’s writers seemed to think and the whole plotline with Chris Thormann getting shot went for an at least one episode more than necessary.  But still, the first season was challenging and frequently compelling.  It was also very low-rated.  Homicide came close to being canceled after the first 9 episodes.  When it did return for a second season, it was only given four episodes in which to prove itself.

We’ll start looking at those four episodes next week.

#SundayShorts with THE HITCHER!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Since Sunday is a day of rest for a lot of people, I present #SundayShorts, a weekly mini review of a movie I’ve recently watched.

Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell) is driving a car across the country to San Diego. Tired and needing some help staying awake, he makes the major mistake of picking up a hitchhiker, the psychotic John Ryder (Rutger Hauer). Through a stroke of luck, he’s able to knock the “Hitcher” out of his car and keep going. Unfortunately, John Ryder isn’t content with being dumped by young Jim Halsey. Rather, he decides to stalk Jim and frame him for a cross-country murder spree.

I first saw THE HITCHER at a friend’s house when I was in the 4th grade. It scared the ever living crap out of me. I have never even pondered the possibility of picking up a hitchhiker because there’s always a chance that it could be a psycho like John Ryder. The genius of THE HITCHER is how it taps into the horror of everyday life. We pass by strangers every day. Who’s to know if there’s a John Ryder in our presence just waiting for us to invite them into our lives?! 

What can I say about Rutger Hauer as John Ryder?! He absolutely owns the film. There’s no wonder his roles in BLADE RUNNER and THE HITCHER would come to define his career. He was one of the great artists, and I’ve missed him ever since I learned of his death while I was sitting on the beach in Perdido Key, FL in 2019. C. Thomas Howell & Jennifer Jason Leigh are excellent as well. As a big-time Rutger Hauer fan, THE HITCHER is an intense film that I watch at least once a year. 

Five Fast Facts:

  1. C. Thomas Howell admitted that he was actually afraid of Rutger Hauer on and off the set because of Hauer’s general intensity.
  2. Writer, producer, and director Christopher Nolan (THE DARK KNIGHT, OPPENHEIMER) has listed THE HITCHER as one of his favorite movies.
  3. Entertainment Weekly ranked THE HITCHER as the nineteenth scariest movie of all time.
  4. Gene Davis, the psycho killer from Charles Bronson’s 10 TO MIDNIGHT plays Trooper Dodge in this movie. Based on my love of the Bronson Cannon classic, I love seeing Davis in any film. 
  5. President George W. Bush served on the board of the company that lent money to HBO to finance this movie. During the 2000 presidential election, Bush’s critics used his involvement in this film to discredit his stance on “family values” and his criticism of pervasive violence in Hollywood movies.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.22 “Put Your Best Face Forward”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, season two of this show finally comes to an end.

Episode 2.22 “Put Your Best Face Forward”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on March 22nd, 1987)

The second season of Check It Out! ends by revealing a little bit more about the origin story of Howard Bannister.

Howard’s stint at hotel management school has been mentioned several times throughout the series.  In this episode, he is upset because his reunion is coming up and he’s the only members of his graduating class to have not made a success of himself.  One of his classmates owns several motels.  Another manages a popular bed and breakfast.  Lester Pinkus (Alan Jordan) has had the most success of all.  He is the manager of a 5-star luxury hotel.  Meanwhile, Howard is just the manager of a small grocery store in Canada.

Howard explains to Edna that he was always at the top of his class but somehow, he flunked the final exam.  Lester, who was previously always at the bottom of the class, got the highest score on his final and received a great job right out of school.  With the reunion coming up, Howard is feeling inadequate.  When he sees that Lester still looks young and happy, Howard decides to take Lester’s advice and get a facelift.

Or, at least, that’s Howard’s plan until he actually meets the doctor (Jack Northmore) and learns what a facelift entails.  The doctor explains he’ll be peeling back Howard’s entire face and then breaking his nose. Agck!  Howard faints and goes to his reunion with a black eye.

(For the record, there was a time when I was determined to get a nose job but then I considered that I had inherited my nose from my mom and it would be disrespectful to do anything to it.  Big Nose Crew forever!)

At the reunion, Lester accepts an award for all of his success.  He then announces that he doesn’t feel like he can accept the award because he cheated on the final.  He stole Howard’s exam paper, put his name on it, and turned it in as his own.  As such, Howard was actually the one who got the best score on the exam while Lester was the one who should have flunked.  Lester says that he’s happy now because he’s rich, successful, and has a newly cleared conscience.

I have to admit that made me laugh.  Howard’s life sucks and it’s all because of Lester.  Lester’s girlfriend throws champagne in his face and then leaves him.  Howard thanks Lester’s girlfriend so Edna throws champagne in Howard’s face and season two comes to an end.

What a strange show.  Edna learns why Howard is so miserable and instead of offering him any sympathy over the fact that he’s doomed to spend the rest of his life as a grocery store manager, she throws champagne at him and accuses him of cheating.  Howard can’t win but that’s okay because Howard really isn’t that likable of a character.

Season two was …. well, yes, it was inconsistent and frequently downright bad.  But the show occasionally showed some sparks of life, usually when the focus was on the supporting cast.  Jeff Pustil, Kathleen Laskey, Aaron Schwartz, and especially Gordon Clapp were able to generate some laughs, even from the weakest of material.  The season season suffered because Howard’s personality seemed to change from episode-to-episode.  It’s hard to root for a guy who doesn’t behave in a consistent manner.

Will the third and final season be an improvement?  We’ll start finding out next week!

Lisa Marie’s Week Television: 12/1/24 — 12/7/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I watched the classic holiday specials this week!

In order of quality (from best to not-quite-as-good-as-its-reputation), I watched:

  1. A Charlie Brown Christmas Special (Apple+)
  2. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (NBC)
  3. Frosty the Snowman (NBC)
  4. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (NBC)

I have to admit that Rudolph has always left me feeling anxious.  I think it’s because Santa kind of comes across as being a jerk in that one.  The main message seems to be the Santa is a harsh taskmaster and the other reindeer are all jerks.  Poor Rudolph!

That said, I will always be happy to watch Charlie Brown learn the true meaning of Christmas.  And the Grinch remains a true classic, thanks to Boris Karloff.  Frosty always makes me cry, largely because I’ve lived a life largely bereft of snow.  In the end, I enjoy watching all four of those specials because it’s a part of my holiday tradition, just like Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, A Christmas Story, Miracle on 34th Street, and It’s A Wonderful Life!

The other thing that I’ve been watching this week is an 80s miniseries called Amerika, which imagines what our country would be like if it was ruled by communists.  It would be pretty bad, what with the combination of oppressive politics, drab clothing, and mandatory struggle sessions.  Then again, it’s also really not that much different from America today.  Anyway, Amerika is interesting but it’s also 13 hours long and, as of this writing, I’ve got five hours to go.  (It’s on YouTube.)  So, I guess I’ll write more about it next week!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.10 “Washington’s Clone”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, Washington gets an admirer.

Episode 4.10 “Washington’s Clone”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on November 11th, 1978)

Arthur (Ron Dennis) is a nerdy student who worships Freddie and desperately wants to be a Sweathog.  When Freddie tells Arthur that he’s too smart and clean-cut to be a Sweathog, Arthur reacts by dressing like Washington and trying to act just like Washington.  At first, the Sweathogs are amused and Washington is slightly flattered.  But then Washington discovers that Arthur is stealing watches and selling them in the school courtyard.  Washington tells Arthur that Sweathogs don’t commit crimes, which is certainly a change from the first season of the show.

After Julie tells Washington that Arthur’s grades are slipping and he’s throwing away his future, Washington goes to Barbarino for advice.  The audience goes crazy for Babarino’s cameo but I have to admit that I cringed the whole time.  I don’t like the idea of Barbarino working in the hospital.  Every time Barbarino makes an appearance, he’s making life difficult for a patient.  In this case, he spends so much time thinking about Washington’s problem that he doesn’t realize he’s spilling food all over a hungry man in a hospital bed.  It was nerve-wracking to watch and not particularly funny.

(Again, in all fairness, it’s hard for me to see any scene set in a hospital room without thinking about my Dad.  So, your mileage may vary as far as Barbarino’s cameo is concerned.  For me, it still hits too close to home.)

Eventually, Washington and the other Sweathogs dress up like members of a street gang (which, again, is what the Sweathogs were supposed to be during the first two seasons of the show) and they tell Arthur that he’s going to have to help them attack Mr. Woodman in order to become a Sweathog.  (Uhmm …. this seems like a bad idea.)  Arthur says he has no problem with that but, in the end, he defends Woodman when the Sweathogs pretend to attack him.  Arthur goes back to being himself and somehow the Sweathogs are not expelled.  Julie tells them that she “can’t believe I’m saying this,” but she’s mildly impressed with how they handled Arthur.  Julie is even bitchier without Gabe around than when he was forcing her to listen to his jokes.

Indeed, Gabe does not appear in this episode and there’s no reference made to where he might be.  You would think that, being vice-principal, he would be the one who would be talking to Arthur about his grades.  Gabe Kaplan, of course, was not on the show because he was upset that the network and their refusal to allow the Sweathogs to graduate high school.  In-universe, one can only guess that Gabe Kotter just doesn’t like to come out of his office.

For a fourth season episode, Washington’s Clone wasn’t bad.  Ron Dennis’s performance as Arthur made me smile.  The fact that he was dramatically shorter than Washington made his attempts to imitate Washington a lot more humorous than they would have been otherwise.  Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs gave a good performance as Washington, even if his sudden concern about following the law went against everything that the show had previously established about the character.  This episode was amusing (with the exception of Barbarino’s cameo) and Horshack didn’t say much.  You can’t complain about that.