Film Review: The Conjuring (dir by James Wan)

Posted on July 25, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Before I say anything else about James Wan’s latest haunted house film, allow me to say this:

The Conjuring is crazy scary.

If just for that reason, The Conjuring has to be considered a success. In this time when the savvy filmgoer has every right to be cynical about ghost films, The Conjuring delivers exactly what it promises. It’s a scary film that takes the time to build up a properly menacing atmosphere and the final hour is one of the most intense that I’ve ever seen.

From the very first scene, I fell in love with The Conjuring. Set in a classroom in 1969, the opening scene features paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) delivering a lecture about a possessed doll named Annabelle. As Ed and Lorraine speak, we see flashbacks to how the doll first came to be possessed and I really do have to say that, with her cracked face and her morbid smile, Annabelle is one of the scariest dolls that I have ever seen. This doll is pure nightmare material but, even more importantly, this short prologue serves to remind us that director James Wan knows how to make predictable material frightening.

As Ed and Lorraine finish their lecture, we are suddenly informed (via a crawling title) that Ed and Lorraine Warren are real paranormal investigators. Ed is the only non-clergy to be certified as an exorcist by the Vatican. We’re told that the movie we are about to see is a true story. Again, this isn’t surprising. (Don’t all ghost stories claim to be based on a true story?) However, it was such a shameless and over-the-top moment that I couldn’t help but love it. Again, it serves as a reminder that James Wan knows how to tell a ghost story and that’s what he proceeds to do for the next two hours.

The Conjuring tells the story of Carolyn (Lili Taylor), Roger (Ron Livington), and their five daughters. The year is 1971 and Roger and Carolyn have purchased a large but isolated farmhouse in Rhode Island. The house needs a lot of work, Carolyn and Roger are shocked to discover a cellar hidden behind some boards in a closet, and the family dog mysteriously dies the first night after they move in. Their youngest daughter starts talking to an invisible friend while another daughter starts to sleepwalk. Soon, Carolyn is waking up with mysterious bruises on her body. After a mysterious woman attacks their eldest daughter and then mysteriously vanishes, Ed and Lorraine are finally called in to figure out what’s happening in Rhode Island…

Well, we can all guess what’s happening in Rhode Island. To anyone who has seen Insidious, Sinister, or hundreds of other haunted house movies; the plot of The Conjuring will seem very familiar. However, that actually works in the film’s favor. One reason that ghost stories remain so effective is because of their familiarity. When done correctly, films like The Conjuring are scary exactly because we know what’s going to happen. The tension comes from knowing that nothing can stop it from happening.

Much as he did with Insidious, James Wan starts things out slowly. He devotes the first hour of the film to building up tension and atmosphere of palpable unease. The first part of the film demands patience on the part of viewers who have been conditioned by one too many installments of Paranormal Activity.

However, this patience pays off. About an hour into the film, a supporting character wanders around the dark house and hears a ghostly voice whispering, “Look what you made me do…” It was when he spotted a figure standing in the shadows that I realized that, in its deliberate way, the film had totally captured the darkest corners of my imagination. From the minute that shadowy figure appears, The Conjuring becomes one of the most intense horror films that I’ve ever seen.

However, The Conjuring is a lot more than just an effective horror film. Since making a name for himself with the first installment in the tedious Saw franchise, James Wan has grown considerably as a filmmaker. The Conjuring is not Wan’s first horror film but it is the first where you truly care about the characters and their safety.

Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor are convincing and likable and their five daughters are all perfectly cast and believable as sisters. Speaking as the youngest of four sisters, I couldn’t help but both relate to this haunted family and appreciate the fact that the filmmakers made the effort to make them believable as both individuals and as family. Much of the beginning of the film is devoted to observing the daily rituals of their lives and there were so many authentic moments that it made the fright scenes all the more scary.

Playing the Warrens, Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga are also well-cast. As fictional versions of real-life paranormal investigators, the characters have the potential to be problematic but Wilson and Farmiga are both so committed to their roles and both have so much chemistry that I found myself not caring that I’m generally skeptical of ghost hunters. On the basis of his work in this film, as well as his work in Insidious, Young Adult, and that episode of Girls where he has sex with Lena Dunham despite the fact that she spent nearly the entire episode wearing the ugliest shorts ever, I think Patrick Wilson has to be one of the most underrated actors working today.

All things considered, it’s not surprising that The Conjuring is an effective horror film. What’s surprising is that James Wan’s latest haunted house film is also one of the best films of the year so far.

Have you seen The Iceman?

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Iceman, a gangster biopic that stars the amazing Michael Shannon, came and went earlier this year. It got respectful, if not rave, reviews but it certainly didn’t get the attention that it deserved. That’s a shame because The Iceman is one of the best films of 2013.

Directed by Ariel Vromen, The Iceman tells the true story of Richard Kuklinski (Shannon), a Mafia contract killer who claimed to have killed anywhere from 100 to 250 people over the course of his three decade long career. At the same time that Kuklinski was murdering the equivalent of the population of a small rural community, he was also living a double life as a suburban family man. When he was finally arrested in 1986, neither his wife nor his daughters had any idea that he was a killer. After being sentence to spend the rest of his life in prison, Kuklinski gave countless interviews (and was the subject of a creepy documentary that still shows up on HBO occasionally) until he finally died, under mysterious circumstances, in 2006.

When Kuklinski is first seen in the Iceman, it’s the 50s and he’s flirting with Deborah (Winona Ryder). When another man speaks to Deborah, Kuklinski reacts by casually following the man outside and killing him. Kuklisnki goes on to marry Deborah before he eventually meets crime boss Roy DeMeo (Ray Liotta) and is recruited to kill for a living. It’s a good arrangement for Kuklinski because it turns out that killing is the only thing he’s good at and his marriage to Deborah allows him to tell himself that he’s just a blue collar family man doing his job.

As opposed to other cinematic sociopaths, Kuklinski is no glib charmer. Instead, as the film repeatedly demonstrates, he is a remorseless killer who feels neither shame nor joy as a result of his actions. Much like the character played by Michael Rooker in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Kuklinski is not defined by what hides behind his blank expression but by the fact that there’s nothing to hide because nothing’s there.

Even Kuklinski’s love for his family is, in one particularly harrowing sequence, revealed to be hollow and false. As becomes apparent, the only thing that keeps Kuklinski from taking out his homicidal impulses on his family is the fact that there’s a never-ending supply of Mafia lowlifes who need to be executed. Kuklinski and his associates exist in a moral vacuum and friendship and family life are ultimately a disguise as opposed to a reality.

If this makes The Iceman sound like a rather dark film, that’s because it is. And yet, the film is never less than watchable. It helps that Ariel Vromen gets excellent performances from his entire cast. Both Winona Ryder and Ray Liotta are perfectly cast. Robert Davi shows up as a mobster and James Franco has a very effective cameo as one of Kuklinski’s victims. Stephen Dorff plays Kuklinski’s brother, who is serving a life sentence because, unlike his brother, he never figured out a way to turn his dark impulses into a business. Best of all, Chris Evans plays an especially sleazy hitman who drives an ice cream truck in his spare time. When Evans first shows up, he seems almost like a comical character but, as the film progresses, Evans’ performance becomes more and more sinister until eventually, he’s calmly talking about killing his own children. For those of us who have been conditioned to associate Chris Evans with the clean-cut Capt. America, it’s a revelation of a performance.

However, the film is truly dominated by Michael Shannon. It’s not easy to make an empty character compelling but Shannon does so. Shannon is such a charismatic performer that you want to like him when he first appears on screen. As The Iceman plays out, you keep finding yourself hoping that Kuklinski will reveal some shred of human decency. You find yourself studying Shannon’s rigid stance and cold eyes and hoping to find some evidence of compassion. The genius of Shannon’s performance is that he makes Richard Kuklinski a fascinating character even as he slowly reveals just how hollow he actually is.

Is Michael Shannon the best American actor working today? That was a question that filmgoers were forced to ask after seeing Shannon’s performance in 2011’s Take Shelter. It’s a question that they should ask again after seeing his performance in The Iceman. Without Shannon’s performance, The Iceman would be just another gangster film. However, thanks to Shannon, it’s one of the best films of the year so far.

A Blast From The Past: The Show-Off (dir by Herk Harvey)

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I’ve stated in the past, I have a weakness for creepy old educational films. 1954’s The Show-Off is one of the creepiest.

The Show-Off begins with a creepy schoolgirl, who appears to have wandered right out of the pages of a Stephen King novel, staring straight at the camera and asking us for our help. It seems that a young sociopath named Jim has been giving the junior class a bad name. We watch as Jim disrupts a class preparing for a history class. In horror, we witness him disrupting rehearsals for the school play. By the end of the film, Jim is intentionally tripping his fellow students and, worst of all, hanging an unauthorized banner that reads, “Yay! Juniors!”

As the creepy girl asks us, “what would you do about the Show-off? What would you do?”

Judging from stark grayness of the school and the bizarrely blank faces of most of the students, I imagine Jim was probably sent to Room 23 and forced to watch a Dharma Initiative video. (Ah, Lost. How I miss you…)

Like a lot of educational films from the 1950s, this one was directed by Herk Harvey. Harvey would later go on to direct the classic horror film, Carnival of Lost Souls. The Show-Off shares its odd, dream-like atmosphere with Carnival of Lost Souls. I’m not sure if that’s intentional on Harvey’s part or if it’s just the fact that 50s were apparently a very creepy time.

Without further ado, here is Herk Harvey’s The Show-Off.

It’s Been One Week Since #SyFyDaysaster

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today is the one-week anniversary of a historic social media event: the #SyFyDaysaster.

For the past year, I’ve been a proud member of a group of film lovers known as the Snarkalecs. Every Saturday, we would meet up via twitter and we would watch whatever film happened to be playing on the SyFy network. Every week, we would look forward to the chance to live tweet films with titles like Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo, Two-Headed Shark Attack, and Piranaconda. Often times, we would be joined by actors like Gerald Webb and directors like Griff Furst. One of my best memories remains the time that Greg Grunberg replied to one of my tweets while we were watching End of the World.

Incidentally, every time that the Snarkalecs would start to live tweet a movie on Saturday, that movie would soon start trending. As a result, other twitter users would have an incentive to change the station over to SyFy and see what everyone was talking about. By showing original movies on Saturday night, SyFy kept the Snarkalecs entertained and we, as a result, then helped SyFy get better ratings.

What could be more American than that?

However, a few months ago, the SyFy network announced that they would no longer be showing original movies on Saturday night. Instead, the movies moved to Thursday and Saturday night became about showcasing a rather forgettable show called Sinbad.

Unfortunately, Thursday is not a convenient night for many of the Snarkalecs. Some Snarkalecs have to be at work on Friday morning. Other Snarkalecs have family obligations during the week. As for me, Thursday doesn’t work because that’s when CBS airs the weekly eviction episode of Big Brother.

As a result, the Snarkalecs have found other things and other networks to watch on Saturday night and Sinbad hasn’t trended once.

Two Thursdays ago, the snarkalecs decided to make a point. As a group, we DVRed the SyFy original film, Independence Daysaster, off of the SyFy network. We then watched and live tweeted the film on Saturday night.

Within fifteen minutes, just as a result of a handful of Snarkalecs live tweeting the film, #SyfyDaysaster was the number one trending topic in the world. And it stayed at number one for the next two hours. And when the tweets started to show up from people wanting to know just why exactly #SyFyDaysaster was trending, we let them know that it was trending because it was a film that the SyFy Network could have been showing instead of broadcasting the latest episode of Sinbad.

As a result of our act of social media protest, for two hours, #SyFyDaysaster was an even more popular subject than Amanda Bynes calling Drake ugly.

As for Sinbad, it trended not once.

The fact of the matter is that people don’t love the SyFy Network because of shows like Sinbad. Instead, we love the SyFy network because SyFy gives us a chance to watch movies like Super Shark and Tasmanian Devils. By showing those movies, the SyFy network has given me a chance to meet and get to know people who I may not have ever met otherwise. SyFy Saturday movie nights introduced me to the snarkalecs and, for that, I will always be thankful.

Let me put it like this — if you tell me you watch Sinbad, I’ll smile politely. Ff you tell me that you love Jersey Shore Shark Attack, I’ll be your friend forever and I’ll probably end up making out with you depending on how much I’ve had to drink beforehand.

In short, I’m proud of us! I only hope that the SyFy network noticed and that they’ll reconsider their decision to make Saturday night all about Sinbad.

As for Independence Daysaster, it was actually something of a lesser SyFy film. A bunch of aliens invade Earth on the 4th of July. The President (played by Tom Everett Scott) teams up with a bunch of hackers to defeat them. It was all pretty predictable and, under any other circumstances, rather forgettable. Still, I will never forget the #SyFyDaysaster and I look forward to engaging in future acts of civil disobedience until, hopefully, the movies return to where they belong, back on Saturday night.

Here’s just a few of the tweets from #SyFyDaysaster:

Ok #SnarkAlecs 1 hr 45 minutes until #syfydaysaster let’s tweet the heck out of it, trend it and end up in twitter jail! — @Holidill

It’s just another day in Canada. — @LisaMarieBowman

Canada should annex us. #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Oh damn, does that mean Biden’s President now? #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

I find it amusing that the alien invasion happens in a place called Mooseridge. #Syfydaysaster — @Karmic9

is it true most #SyFy movies are watched 3 day later with at least 10 #SyFyDaysaster tweets?” — @KellyThul

So #SyFyDaysaster is tending a movie #Snarkalecs are watching on dvr , but Sinbad isn’t #SyFy are you paying attention — @ScottMcDonald3

“Nick’s hurt pretty bad. Can we just leave him here and pretend we didn’t find him?” #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

“You can’t fight here! This is the War Room!” — @LisaMarieBowman

I thought they were led by a Mimeminister RT @LisaMarieBowman Were we really hoping to get any help from President of France? #SyFyDaysaster” — @KellyThul

#WhoTheHellIsSinbad? #SyFyDaysaster — @HelenMcGe

He’s the President of Sexyville — @LisaMarieBowman

Redheads have no use for Presidents. #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Red barns: replacing gas stations as new source of magic wifi #syfydaysaster — @DawnSnarks

Sound effects courtesy of airzooka #syfydaysaster” — @murderalotta

Gingers do to have souls! Haven’t you seen that YouTube video? #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

“What is that?” It’s the moon, you moron. #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Is that Ben Gardner’s alien invasion stock footage? #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

The real fans of @SyfyMovies got #syfydaysaster trending 3 days after #indenpendencedaysaster — @TonySolo

She put on her big glasses b/c she knew she was going to have to do smart stuff. #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Nick is like a cockroach wearing an American flag. — @LisaMarieBowman

Stop insulting cockroaches — @KellyThul

The VP is thinking, OH shit, my evil plan has been foiled. All because of those meddling kids! #syfydaysaster — @PirateMel

“@LisaMarieBowman: I have to admit that I have no idea what’s going on in #syfydaysaster.” You’re at least a step ahead of me.. — @DocZeke71

There has been a serious lack of trees and vines in #syfydaysaster. I’m not lichen it.” — @LisaMarieBowman

Hey @SyFy, even though I am tweeting your movie on the “wrong” night, I am open to you sending me that power source thing #SyFyDaysaster — @KellyThul

Been a long day, a lot of short tempers, we could all use a Snickers #syfydaysaster — @PinkyGuerro

My milkshake brings all the balls to the yard. #syfydaysaster — @GGFletcher

#syfydaysaster If she were a real scientist she would be in a halter top by now. — @MJCaan

You have to ask if the world is really worth saving. I’d like to at least meet the aliens before dismissing them. #SyFYDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

I’m comforted to know that 2 hackers from Mooseridge can fire a nuclear missile. #Syfydaysaster” — @Karmic9

Make love to the camera Mr. President! Seduce it! #syfydaysaster — @DawnSnarks

The President should resign & let the redheads run the country #SyFYDaysaster” — @LisaMarieBowman

I haven’t seen a ball take a licking like that since the Jodi Arias trial. #syfydaysaster — @MJCaan

The balls went from suck to blow! #syfydaysaster — @Crunch_Ops

Wow, the aliens are dropping faster than Paula Dean sponsors #SyFyDaysaster — @bgardnersboat

Congrats, #Snarkalecs! Y’all had a lot of balls tonight. Now I have to fly away. #SyFyDaysaster — @Killer_Skippy

Tonight, the #snarkalecs made this goatsucker proud! #SyFyDaysaster — @HappyChupacabra

Flame-haired one is all excited because she made something trend in some place called Dallas. Meh. #SyFyDaysaster — @Doc_Bowman

Review: True Blood 6.3 “You’re No Good”

Posted on June 30, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I just finished watching the latest episode of True Blood and I have to admit that I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand, Bill’s acting evil again and I hate it when Bill acts evil.

On the other hand, Eric is being all dangerous and sexy and you know how much I love that.

So, as often happens when it comes to True Blood, I’m conflicted.

After spending most of the previous episode in a catatonic state, Bill spent most of this latest episode acting like a jerk. First off, he decided to test his new powers by standing outside while the sun rose and ignoring Jessica as she pleaded with him to come back inside. At first, it looked like Bill might actually be onto something but then the sun actually rose, Bill burst into flames, and barely managed to make it back inside the mansion.

Once Bill had healed, he sent Jessica to kidnap one of the men who first created true blood so that Bill could force the man to synthesize a new type of blood. Not surprisingly, this involved Jessica dressing up all trampy (though I have to say that I own that same outfit and I’m thinking about being Jessica for Halloween this year, again) and flirting with the man until they were alone and she could grab him.

Bill’s plan also involved finding the perfect donor for this new blood and, as always, this led to him showing up at Sookie’s. Even though Sookie refused to invite him in, Bill was able to enter her house and cause Jason to float in the air while he talked to Sookie. Only after Sookie emphatically refused to be his donor did Bill leave the house.

However, Sookie isn’t the only faerie around. As Bill walks back to his home, he runs into dumbass Andy. While Andy explains to Bill that the governor’s curfew is in effect, he lets slip that he now has four half-faerie daughters. A small smile comes to Bill’s lip as he congratulates Andy on his luck.

See what I mean? Bill is acting totally evil!

Meanwhile, Eric has gained entry to the bedroom of Willa, the Governor’s daughter. Despite initially saying that he’s going to kill her, Eric instead kidnaps her and, with the reluctant help of Pam and Tara, holds her prisoner. Willa (who actually looks a lot like Eric’s “sister,” Nora) doesn’t really seem to mind the idea of being Eric’s prisoner and you know what? I don’t blame her! Seriously, for those of us who love True Blood when Eric is being all sexy and dangerous, tonight’s episode was for us!

Along with all of that, we also had Niall (played, perfectly, by Rutger Hauer) attempting to recruit a faerie army so that he could defeat Warlow. However, it turned out that Warlow had already found most of the faeries before Niall did. The only faerie that Niall was able to find and recruit was Ben, who — with Bill crazy and Eric kidnapping — appears to be destined to become Sookie’s love interest for the season.

Speaking of love interests, Nicole and those annoying activists showed up in tonight’s episode but the majority of them ended up getting killed by the werewolves. A wounded Nicole was last spotted (by Sam, who was there to rescue Emma) stumbling into the woods. Saying that Nicole needed their help, Sam followed after her. As I said last week, I think Sam could do better.

And finally — Rev. Newlin’s back! In case you were wondering what happened to everyone’s favorite spokesvamp, he’s currently being held prisoner and interrogated about Eric by the creepiest government doctor that I’ve ever seen.

As I said, I had mixed feelings about tonight’s episode. On the one hand, I could tell that it was obviously laying the groundwork for something pretty spectacular. On the other hand, Bill’s evil and I don’t want that.

So, as of this writing, I’m conflicted but hopefully, things will be a bit more clear after next week.

Random Thoughts and Observations:

Unofficial scene count: 58
Alexander Skarsgard is so freaking hot. I know I point that out a lot but seriously…
Whenever I watch True Blood, I’m reminded of how happy I am that I don’t cry bloody tears.
Did anybody else instantly hate Nicole’s boyfriend?
Unlike Jessica, I was actually surprised when Bill burst into flames.
As far as fan service goes, I got Eric seducing the governor’s daughter and Arleigh got Jessica’s entrance at the lecture.
“The girl is sleeping with me because I don’t trust you not to kill her!”
“Fuckin’ science!”
“Do they have names?” “Right now, I’m just using numbers. It seems to work.”
“You’re not God, Bill. You’re just an asshole!”

Film Review: Maniac (dir. by Franck Khalfoun)

Posted on June 27, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

By all logic, Maniac has no right to be as good a film as it is.

A remake of William Lustig’s notoriously sleazy (if grimly effective) 1980 film, Maniac tells the story of Frank Zito (Elijah Wood, taking on a role previously played to repulsive perfection by Joe Spinell). Frank is a twitchy young man who sells mannequins for a living, has frequent conversations with his dead mother, suffers from intense migraines, and relieves stress by scalping strangers. Much like the original Maniac, the remake is largely plotless. Frank stalks women. Frank yells at his mannequins. Frank pursues an unlikely romance with an incredibly naive photographer (played here by the very sympathetic Nora Arnezeder). Much blood is spilled and the film eventually comes to a conclusion that’s even darker than Lustig’s original.

One thing that does distinguish this remake from the original Maniac is that director Franck Khalfoun and producer (and screenwriter) Alexandre Aja attempt to truly put the viewers in Frank’s disturbed mind. With the exception of a few isolated moments, the entire film is a collection of p.o.v. shots. While we hear Frank talk throughout the film, the only time that we actually see him is during the rare moment that Frank takes the time to look at his reflection. That may sound gimmicky (and it is) but, at the same time, it actually works surprisingly well. Much like Frank, the audience spends the film trapped in his disturbed mind and often unsure about whether they’re seeing something real or having another hate-fueled hallucination.

It helps that Elijah Wood gives a surprisingly credible performance in the role of Frank. While we only actually get to see his face a handful of times, Wood makes every one of those moments count. Unlike the original’s Joe Spinell (who gave a performance that was so incredibly sleazy that he almost seemed to be surrounded by a cloud of grime whenever he showed up on screen), Elijah Wood uses his youthful face and his deceptively gentle voice to turn Frank into a disturbingly plausible threat. With his nervous eyes and rather befuddled expression, Wood makes Frank into the murderer next door One reason why serial killers are so scary is because the majority of them look more like Elijah Wood than Joe Spinell. Director Khalfoun uses Wood’s passive screen presence to put the audience at ease, just as surely as Frank uses his innocent face to fool his victims. As a result, the viewers keep expecting Frank to show some shimmer of humanity. That’s make it all the more disturbing to watch as the film reveals just how much of a monster Frank truly is.

Playing the role of Frank’s love interest, Nora Arnezeder also deserves a lot of credit. While the original film definitely suffered because you never believed that Caroline Munro’s classy photographer would actually be attracted to Joe Spinell, the relationship between Wood and Arnezeder is a lot more plausible and hence, it also has the potential to be a lot more tragic. Without Arnezeder’s empathetic performance, Maniac would just be a numbing collection of scenes of people being murdered. However, Arnezeder creates a character that viewers will actually care about. We worry about her as we watch her relationship with Frank develop but, at the same time, we can understand what she thinks she sees in this shy and eccentric man. As opposed to the original film and despite all of the graphic violence (and it is graphic, make no mistake), the remake of Maniac never feels misogynistic and that’s largely due to the work of Nora Arnezeder. Arnezeder gives us something that the original never bothered to do, a character to sympathize with.

Finally, you can’t talk about the remake of Maniac without mentioning the film’s excellent score. Composed by a French composer who goes by the name of Rob, the synth-heavy score has a wonderfully retro feel to it that pays homage to both the old grindhouse films and also adds a propulsive element of menace to every scene. Much like the electronic score of the far different Upstream Color, the score of Maniac becomes a character all of its own. I would even go as far to say that it’s perhaps one of the best horror score that I’ve ever heard.

I wasn’t expecting much of Maniac. In fact, the only reason I saw it was out of curiosity. I was expecting to be a typical horror remake, a cynical film made solely to exploit the notoriety of its source.

Was I ever wrong!

Maniac is not a pleasant film. It’s a dark and gore-filled movie but, in its disturbing way, it’s also oddly effective and compelling. It’s a film that probably has no right to be good and yet, that’s exactly what it is.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #84: Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret (dir by Jace Alexander)

Posted on June 23, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to Lifetime and I watched the world premiere of Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret.

Why Was I Watching It?

If you know me then you know that I can’t resist a trashy Lifetime film. And could anything be trashier than a film about Jodi Arias?

What Was It About?

The film is based on the true story of the most hated woman in America. Mentally unstable fake blonde Jodi Arias (Tania Raymonde) meets motivational speaker Travis Alexander (Jesse Lee Sofer) and eventually becomes obsessed with him. Finally, Jodi goes back to her natural hair color and, in a disturbingly graphic scene, murders Travis.

What Worked?

In the role of Jodi Arias, Tania Raymonde (who is probably best known for playing Ben’s daughter on Lost) gave a genuinely unsettling performance. Not only did Raymonde look a lot like Jodi but she was convincingly crazy as well.

What Did Not Work?

Honestly, this film left me feeling incredibly icky. Does Jodi Arias really deserve to have a film made about her?

Perhaps I would have felt differently if the film had provided any sort of psychological insight into either Jodi or Travis (who remains a cipher for the majority of the film). However, the film is content to just reenact all of the sordid details that we’ve already heard about. The end result is a film that’s occasionally watchable but ultimately disappointing.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I refuse to acknowledge seeing any “Just like me!” moments while watching a movie about Jodi Arias. Judging from the response on twitter to this movie, I was not alone in this. For the most part, people seemed to be watching specifically so they could point out how little they had in common with Jodi Arias. Perhaps that’s the true appeal of films like this, the chance to say, “I may be fucked up but at least I’m not Jodi Arias!”

Okay, I will admit that, much like the film version of Jodi Arias, I believe that dancing can be a great tool of seduction and emotional expression.

However, judging from the moves displayed in this movie, I’m a much better dancer.

Lessons Learned

I’ll watch just about anything that’s on Lifetime.

Review: True Blood 6.2 “The Sun” (dir by Daniel Attias)

Posted on June 23, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After last week’s anemic season premiere, I have to admit that I was a bit worried about the direction of season 6 of True Blood. I watched that episode and I thought to myself, “I don’t want to have to spend an entire season with Bill acting weird, Eric not having sex with Sookie, and Jason chasing around Rutger Hauer.”

What a difference a week can make!

Tonight’s episode was a return to form for True Blood. Tonight’s episode reminded me of what made me fall in love with this show in the first place. In short, tonight’s episode was True Blood the way I wanted it to be.

It helps that this episode featured a lot of Eric acting like Eric. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

First off, tonight’s biggest revelation was that, despite what he said last week, Rutger Hauer is not Warlow. Instead, he’s Sookie and Jason’s faerie grandfather and he’s specifically come to help Sookie defeat Warlow.

And I have to say that this is brilliant casting. We, as viewers, have been so conditioned to automatically view Rutger Hauer as a villain that it’s actually surprisingly refreshing to see him playing a good guy and Hauer seems to be having a lot of fun with the role.

Anyway, Grandpa explains to Sookie and Jason that Warlow is obsessed with the Stackhouse family, specifically because the Stackhouses are actual royalty (making Sookie into a literal faerie princess). However, Grandpa explains, Sookie can defeat Warlow by harnessing all of her light and literally going supernova. The only side effect is that Sookie can only do this once and she’ll no longer be a faerie after doing so. Sookie, who spent most of last season trying to deplete all of her power, immediately starts practicing harnessing her light.

And that’s probably a good idea because Warlow is already in Bon Temps.

Speaking of Sookie, before she meets her grandfather, she meets another faerie. This one is named Ben (Rob Kazinsky) and when Sookie comes across him, he’s lying on the ground after being attacked by vampires. Sookie nurses him back to health and it becomes obvious that the two of them are attracted to each other. I have to admit that I groaned a little when Ben showed up. It’s not that Rob Kazinsky isn’t cute, because he is. And it’s not that he and Anna Paquin don’t have a lot of chemistry because they do. However, Ben is not Eric. For that matter, he’s not even Bill.

Speaking of Bill, he began tonight by going into a catatonic state and he remained that way for most of the episode, despite the best efforts of Jessica to wake him up. At one point, Jessica even brought in a hilariously trashy prostitute named Veronica so that Bill could feed. Even in his catatonic state, Bill still ended up graphically drawing out every drop of blood from her body.

While catatonic, Bill has a vision where he stands in the middle of sun-drenched field and talks to Lillith. Lillith explains that Bill’s purpose is to save all the vampires from destruction. The scenes between Bill and Lillith were perfectly filmed and acted, with an obvious emphasis being put on the fact that the bright sun was effecting Bill and Lillith not at all. When Bill finally does wake up, he tells Jessica that he can now see the future.

And what is that future?

Every vampire in Bon Temps being herded into a stark, white room where, once the roof opens up, they are all burned to death by the sun.

Meanwhile, Eric has also taken it upon himself to try to prevent the future that Bill has seen. Eric sneaks into the Governor’s mansion, confronts the governor, and attempts to hypnotize him. The Governor (and have I mentioned how much I love Arliss Howard’s villainous performance) responds by laughing. It turns out that the Governor is wearing special contact lenses that make it impossible for him to be hypnotized.

After managing to escape the Governor’s armed guards, Eric tracks down the Governor’s daughter, Wilma. In a nicely gothic touch, Wilma looks out her bedroom window and sees Eric floating outside her window. Eric asks for permission to enter and she gives it.

And seriously, who wouldn’t?

I got so caught up with the vampires tonight that I nearly forgot that some pretty important things happened to Sam as well. I always feel bad for Sam because he literally cannot catch a break and tonight was not any different. First off, he found himself being harassed by Nicole, a political activist from L.A. who wants Sam to come out publicly as a shape shifter. (I have to admit that I have a sinking feeling that, with Luna dead, Nicole is going to become Sam’s new love interest. I’m not looking forward to this development because Nicole is kind of self-righteous and annoying.) Then, Sam ended up getting beaten up by Alcide, who has taken it upon himself to make sure that Emma is raised among the werewolves.

Seriously — bad Alcide!

I loved tonight’s episode. If last week’s premiere felt like True Blood fan fiction, The Sun felt like true True Blood. Hopefully, the rest of Season 6 will follow its example.

Random Thoughts and Observations:

Unofficial Scene Count: 53
That precredits sequence with Warlow appearing on the bridge was pretty effective, I thought.
Rutger Hauer deserves an Emmy for his delivery of the line “I am your fucking faerie grandfather.”
Alexander Skargard is so hot and sexy! Oh. My. God.
The sudden appearance of Patrick’s wife reminded me of how much I disliked last season’s Iraqi smoke monster subplot.
I’m sure that the writers of True Blood meant for the Governor to come across as some sort of right-wing boogeyman but, to be honest, he reminds me more of our current President.
I love the way Jason got so excited when he said, “That makes me a faerie prince!”
It’s interesting to note that both True Blood and the Walking Dead feature a villain called “The Governor.”
“They attacked the Chuck E. Cheese yesterday.”
“You’re not going to read me my rights?” “You don’t have no rights, vampire.” “Well, that’s not nice.”
The performers on True Blood never get enough credit. Tonight’s standout was Deborah Ann Woll. Jessica’s episode ending prayer is definitely the highlight of the season so far.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #83: Degrassi S12 E39 & 40 “The Time Of My Life”

Posted on June 22, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 12th season finale of my favorite Canadian show, Degrassi.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was Degrassi, of course! As if you had to ask!

What Was It About?

Another school year has ended and it’s time for the senior class of everyone’s favorite Toronto high school to graduate and get on with their lives.

However, while everyone else is enjoying prom and graduation, a few of the show’s longtime couples have to work through a few issues.

Imogen tries to sabotage her girlfriend Fiona’s attempt to get an internship with a famous Italian designer. Imogen does this by pretending to be Fiona and insulting the designer. The designer decides that he wants nothing to do with Fiona but then Imogen has a change of heart, apologizes, and the designer turns out to be the most forgiving guy on the planet.

Meanwhile, Eli and Clare are still broken up but not for long. On prom night, Clare finally loses her virginity but it also appears that she might now have leukemia because that’s the way things work when you’re a student at Degrassi…

What Worked?

Yay! Season 12 is finally over! Seriously, I’ve been watching Degrassi since it started and I’ve always appreciated its unique combination of over-the-top melodrama, self-reflexive humor, and Canadian manners. However, Season 12 was perhaps the worst in the series history and now, it’s finally over! Now, we can look forward to season 13 with a whole new group of seniors and incoming niners and we can hope that we won’t have to deal with any more storylines about hockey or politically-themed musical theater productions.

On another note, Degrassi has always been pretty good at capturing the excitement of things like prom and graduation. The show has always understood how important these rituals are when you’re a teenager and, to its credit, it’s never taken the condescending approach that you find in so many other shows about teenagers. If you didn’t get emotional watching all the graduating students singing at the end of last night’s episode, then you just don’t have a soul.

What Did Not Work?

I’m tempted to say that, since this was Degrassi, it all worked. However, I do have an issue with this episode and the show in general.

Degrassi has a really bad habit of dealing with the fact that everyone eventually has to leave high school by randomly having otherwise intelligent characters mysteriously flunk all their classes and end up having to retake a grade or two. The most famous example of this was the popular character of Spinner, who eventually managed to graduate at the age of 26. In Spinner’s case, however, it wasn’t that big a deal because everyone knew Spinner was an idiot. However, in the years since Spinner finally graduated (and somehow ended up married to Emma — don’t even get me started on that), more and more Degrassi students have ended up having to repeat a grade.

What’s odd is that no one ever seem to be that upset about being held back and nobody seems to suffer any sort of unfortunate consequences from having to repeat a grade. In fact, Fiona Coyne was last night’s valedictorian despite the fact that this was her second attempt to complete her senior year. Seriously, what does this say about Canada’s education system?

Anyway, this season, Imogen somehow managed to fail all of her classes and, therefore, did not get to graduate and will be back next season. Unlike a lot of Degrassi fans, I actually like Imogen but I still find it hard to believe that she would not only fail all of her classes but that she would also be so accepting of the prospect of having to spend another year in high school. I mean, I loved high school but, if you told me that I had to stay a year longer than planned, you would have seen one angry little redhead.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

One difference between previous seasons of Degrassi and this latest season has been that this season had a definite lack of just like me moments. While Degrassi has always been melodramatic, season 12 saw it get rather preachy and didactic as well.

So, really, about the only thing I could relate to was the fact that I had fun at my prom too. I also sang at my graduation but, unlike the Degrassi grads, I was asked to stop.

Lessons Learned

In Canada, you don’t just get a diploma for showing up. You’re expected to pass your classes as well.

Review: True Blood Ep. 6.1 (“Who Are You, Really?”)

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

True Blood (or, as my aunt calls it, the show with all the naked people) is back! Last night saw the premiere of the first episode of the sixth season of the venerable HBO series. That also means that, for the next ten weeks, we’ll be reviewing each episode here at the Shattered Lens.

Last night’s episode started right where last season left off. Bill drank the rest of Lillith’s blood, was reborn as some sort of blood-covered demon, and then proceeded to go on a rampage through the Authority HQ. While all the characters that we care about — Sookie (Anna Paquin), Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), Jason (Ryan Kwanten), Pam (Kristen Bauer Von Straten), Tara (Rutina Wesley), Nora (Lucy Griffiths), Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), Sam (Sam Trammell), Luna (Janina Gavanker), and Emma (Chloe Noelle) — manage to get out safely, it appears that crazed Bill kills everyone else in the building and then, for good measure, blows it up.

Soon after escaping, Luna asks Sam to take care of Emma and then dies of her wounds. Luna’s death was a genuinely surprising moment, though I do have to admit that I wish Sam could at least have an episode or two where something either weird or terrible didn’t happen to him. Sam takes Emma back to his bar where they run into Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and Sam watches a TV news report on how Louisiana’s governor (the wonderfully sleazy Arliss Howard) is declaring martial law on all vampires until the True Blood shortage is taken care of.

(At this point, I realized that I couldn’t remember whether or not Lafayette still has that demon inside of him. Was that resolved last season?)

Meanwhile, Andy (Chris Bauer) is a still a dumbass but he’s now also a father of a bunch of faery kids who are aging very fast. I have to admit that I’m not really that interested in Andy’s subplot, though I’m sure that the vampires of Bon Temps will be very interested in having all that new faery blood to choose from.

Alcide, meanwhile, is now pack leader, which means that he gets to eat his enemies and have sex with anyone he wants to, as long as he remembers that Rikki (Kelly Overton) is his “number one bitch.” I’ve read comments from a few reviewers who have complained that Alcide’s scenes felt gratuitous. Over on the A.V. Club, they complained that the only reason Alcide was in last night’s episode was so we could see Joe Manganiello naked. To those reviewers, I say, “Shut up!” Seriously, it’s not True Blood without Naked Alcide.

And trust me, we needed some Naked Alcide last night because the main storyline was kind of depressing.

After Eric, Nora, Sookie, Tara, and Pam all agreed that they would kill Bill if they had to, Jessica found herself being summoned to Bill’s mansion. It was there that they discovered Bill, looking very normal. After Bill explained that he was still Bill Compton but that he was also something much more, Eric attempted to attack him. Bill easily defended himself, just to then be staked from behind by Sookie.

And how did Bill respond?

By removing the stake from his chest.

So, apparently, Bill is now a demigod of some sort.

After Bill ordered everyone but Jessica to leave, Sookie and Eric returned to her home. After Eric signed the house back over to her, Sookie then took away his invitation and forced Eric to leave.

Meanwhile, Jason — who had earlier run off on his own after escaping the destruction of the Authority HQ — was picked up by a passing motorist. Now, as soon as I saw that motorist, I knew he was going to be trouble because he was played by Rutger Hauer. And sure enough, it turns out that Hauer is playing Warlow, the same vampire who previously killed Jason and Sookie’s parents. Before vanishing, Warlow says that “nothing will keep me from getting Sookie.”

So, to summarize:

Sookie is trying, once again, to live a life free of vampire drama, Eric is thinking about abandoning Bon Temps all together, Bill is acting strange, Jessica is being used as a pawn, and Alcide’s naked.

The more things change, the more thing’s stay the same, right?

Overall, I had mixed feelings about last night’s episode. After the excitement of last season’s finale, it’s hard not to be disappointed that tonight’s episode didn’t offer up much of a resolution. In many ways, it felt more like an episode that you would expect to find in the middle of a 24-episode run, as opposed to the start of a 10-episode season.

That said, this episode did feature Alcide naked so who am I to complain?

Random Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 45
Last night’s episode was directed by Bill Compton himself, Stephen Moyer.
“I’m your number one bitch,” is something that I often say, as well.
Where’s Rev. Newlin?
With the death of Luna and the “possession” of Bill, last night’s episode was unusually somber. I hope that’s not going to be the way the rest of this season is going to play out. True Blood is always at its best when mixing comedy with melodrama.
This is the first season without Alan Ball as showrunner (though he’s still an executive producer on the show). It’s tempting to say that Ball’s absence is why last night’s episode felt somewhat off but, of course, it’s still to early to say one way or the other.
Because of Anna Paquin’s pregnancy, this season is only going to last 10 episodes.
And I’m looking forward to reviewing all ten of them!