Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.14 “Epstein’s Madonna”

Posted on March 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Epstein is finally the center of the action. Unfortunately, the episode doesn’t really take advantage of the character and all of his possibilities.

Episode 3.14 “Epstein’s Madonna”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on December 8th, 1977)

For his art project, Epstein paints a picture of a naked woman on the outside wall of Buchanan High. (Actually, it stretches out across two walls.) The Sweathogs are impressed. The local media wants to do a story on the painting. Epstein is proud of himself. Woodman is offended, even after Gabe points out that Botticelli also painted nudes.

“Botticelli,” Woodman replies, “didn’t paint a nude with Born To Boogie tattooed on her thigh!”

Gabe is all about defending Esptein’s right to express himself …. up until he realizes why the painting looks so familiar to him. As Epstein explains it, he put Julie’s head on Debbie Del Vecchio’s body. Gabe likes the body but he’s less happy about Julie’s face staring at him from the wall. And it must be said that the painted Julie looks even more annoyed with Gabe than the real-life Julie.

Julie, surprisingly enough, is flattered. That’s not really the reaction that one would expect from Julie, who is usually a lot more uptight. But, after being married to Gabe for five years or however long they’ve been together, Julie is probably just happy to know that there are still other options out there for her. Seriously, Julie …. Epstein takes care of his family and he has that cute gap between his front teeth.

Does Gabe deface Epstein’s artwork? Though tempted, he does not. Someone else does and there’s some confusion when Gabe is caught holding the spray-paint can but that’s all forgotten when the other Sweathogs jump in to help fix the painting. Good for them! Epstein passes his class, the painting gets to say on the wall for a week, and …. well, that’s it. Wow, that wasn’t a very consequential episode.

“Lisa, what about the jokes!?”

Oh yeah! Gabe tells Julie about his Cousin Janet, who lied about being pregnant and seriously injured so that her parents would be less upset about the D she got in English. He also talks about his Uncle Willie who used his resemblance to Jimmy Cagney to get laid. Julie was amused by both jokes, which I think was a record for her.

This episode really didn’t have much going on. In the first season, Gabe would have had a semi-serious heart-to-heart talk with Epstein about his love for art and it would have been touching. But, in the third season, the show was more about catch phrases and audience applause than teaching life lessons. It’s a shame because Robert Hegyes usually did a pretty good job as the tough but secretly sensitive Juan Epstein. This episode has to be considered a bit of a missed opportunity.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.22 “The Pirate’s Promise”

Posted on March 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, there’s something in the fog! Can Micki and Ryan stop the horror of the thing in the fog? FOG!

Episode 1.22 “The Pirate’s Promise”

(Dir by Bill Corcoran, originally aired on June 27th, 1988)

In the 18th century, a group of pirates killed their captain, Angus McBride, and stole his treasure. They used the money to start a seaside village in New England and to become respectable citizens. Over two hundred years later, the spirit of Captain McBride is hanging out in the fog and desiring vengeance on the descendants of his crew.

Hmmm …. this sounds familiar.

This episode has more than a little in common with John Carpenter’s The Fog. This time, as opposed to it being the result of an anniversary curse, it’s a crazed lighthouse keeper named Joe Fenton (Cedric Smith) who summons the ghost of Captain McBride with a cursed foghorn but otherwise, much of the plot and the show’s imagery feels as if it was lifted directly from Carpenter’s classic horror film. Captain McBride emerges from the fog several times during the episode. He kills his victim’s with a hook and then tosses a few coins at Joe.

Micki and Ryan show up in town to retrieve the foghorn. (This is another episode in which Jack is not present.) It’s interesting how these cursed antiques often tend to end up in small towns, like the one in this episode or The Quilt of Hathor. The previous few episodes featured Ryan having to say goodbye to someone as a result of a cursed item. This time, it’s Micki whose heart is broken when the sweet proprietor of the local history museum is stabbed with a saber while trying to protect her. The episode ends with Micki sobbing while Ryan tries to comfort her, which is quite a change from how these things usually go. For once, Micki is the one who gets to show emotion while Ryan is the one who takes a more pragmatic approach to dealing with the horrors of the cured antiques.

As for the episode, it wasn’t bad. Director Bill Corcoran did a good job of creating a properly ominous atmosphere and Cedric Smith was perfectly creepy as the evil lighthouse owner. The low-budget was evident by the fact that the time itself seemed to be nearly deserted. Even though the town was described as being small, it still seems like it should have been home to more than just a handful of people and I found myself wondering if maybe the show decided to save money by not hiring extras. That minor quibble aside, this was an effective episode as long as you were willing to overlook the plot’s similarity to Carpenter’s film.

Next week, hopefully, Jack will come back and maybe Micki will have cheered up. Someone likeable dies in every episode so you would think they would be used to it by now.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.1 “Cracked”

Posted on March 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the final season of T and T begins with some changes!

Episode 3.1 “Cracked”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 6th, 1990)

The first episode of the third season begins with all new opening credits. We no longer hear about T.S. Turner’s backstory. I guess it no longer matters that Turner was framed for a murder that he didn’t commit and that crusading lawyer Amy Taler got him out and put him in a suit and tie to work as a private investigator.

That’s not all though. Amy herself is no longer listed in the opening credits. Instead, there’s a new T in T & T. Kristina Nicoll joins the cast as “Terri Taler.” Judging by her last name, it’s easy to guess that she is meant to be Amy’s sister. Of course, if the credits didn’t specifically tell you that Terri’s last name is Taler, you wouldn’t have the slightest idea who she was. This episode begins with Terri already well-established as a neighborhood activist and as Turner’s partner. Amy is not even mentioned. It’s as if she just vanished and suddenly, there was Terri.

I have to admit that really bothered me. It’s true that Amy didn’t get to do much during the second season and I can understand why Alex Amini might have wanted to do other things than just stand in the background while Mr. T growled. But Amy was still technically the co-lead and it just feel wrong to not even have someone say, “Hey, what happened to Amy?”

(Joe Casper is also gone without explanation but Joe was never that important of a character to begin with.)

As for the episode itself, the neighborhood is sick of being home to a crack house. While Terri encourages everyone to protest in front of the house and to take pictures of anyone going inside (which sounds like a good way to get some people killed, to be honest), T.S. tracks down the owner of the house and demands that he work with the police to get the crack dealers out of there. T.S even goes undercover as a drug dealer so that he can get into the house himself….

Seriously, in what world, could Mr. T ever go undercover? I mean, even in-universe, it’s established that T.S. is one of the people protesting the crack house. How are the dealers not going to recognize T.S. Turner? And before anyone says it’s because they’re smoking crack, let me just say that I have some doubts as to whether or not they actually were using that house as a crack house. Seriously, it was the neatest and cleanest crack house that I’ve ever seen.

(Not that I’ve seen many crack houses, mind you. I once lived across the street from someone who stole copper wiring for a living and his house was a mess so I assume a crack house would be even worse.)

Eh. The third and final season is not off to a great start, you all. Hopefully, next week, we’ll get an explanation as to why there’s now a different T in T and T.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.1 and 2.2 “A Song For Jason”

Posted on March 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Highway to Heaven begins its second season with a two-part episode.

Episodes 2.1 and 2.2 “A Song For Jason”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 18th and September 25th, 1985)

Well, this is certainly a tear jerker.

The two-part second season opener of Highway to Heaven finds Jonathan and Mark assigned to work at Camp Good Times, an actual summer camp for children who have cancer. And while Jonathan is, as usual, enthusiastic about the assignment, Mark responds by begging to be allowed to sit this one out. Jonathan’s response is to tell Mark to stop feeling sorry for himself and to help the kids. Mark starts to walk away from his friendship with Jonathan until he runs into one of the kids, Jason (Joshua John Miller, whose best-known work as an actor might be as the scary child vampire in Near Dark). Jason basically repeats the same thing that Jonathan said, telling Mark that he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself. Mark realizes that if a kid like Jason can be brave in the face of cancer then the least Mark can do is spend a summer as a camp counselor.

(Adding a bit of poignance to all this is that both Victor French and Michael Landon would die of cancer five years after this episode aired.)

Jason is the son of rock star Miki Winner (Barry Williams — yes, Greg Brady). Miki is always finding excuse not to spend any time with his sick son. Maybe Jonathan can change his mind.

But that’s not all!

Curtis (played by a ten year-old Giovanni Ribisi in his acting debut) is scared to death to go outside, a result of his overprotective mother (Robin Riker) constantly harping on the fact that he could die at any minute. Can Jonathan help Curtis have fun while encouraging his mom to let Curtis be a kid?

Teenage jock Gary (Brian Lane Green) has bone cancer and might lose his leg. Can he got over his bitterness and get a date with camp counselor Trish (Jill Carroll)?

And will Mark finally realize that there is hope to be found in even the most dire of situations?

(The answer to all of that is yes but you probably already guessed that.)

Even by the standards of Highway to Heaven, this episode was a bit heavy-handed, without a subtle moment to be found. Barry Williams is as unconvincing a rock star here as he was on The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. Some of the kids were better actors than others. It’s also hard not to feel that the story could have been told in just one episode. The first part, especially, feels a bit padded. That said, it all still brought tears to my mismatched eyes because, seriously, how couldn’t it? This is one of those episodes where the show’s earnestness and sincerity really worked to its advantage. The episode is so heartfelt that it feels rather churlish to be too nit-picky about it. In the end, flaws and all, the episode works.

Add to that, if you can’t enjoy the scene where Jonathan disguises himself as a barber and shaves a bully’s head, I don’t know what to tell you.

Retro Television Review: Changing Patterns 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on March 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Changing Patterns, which aired on CBS in 1987. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Valerie Perrine and Brenda Vaccaro are changing patterns!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Linda Day, originally aired on June 26th, 1987)

Molly (Oscar nominee Valerie Perrine) and Maxine (Oscar nominee Brenda Vacarro) are two housewives who lives in the suburbs. Molly’s husband (Alex Rocco) is an old friend of Maxine’s husband (Robert S. Woods). Maxine’s husband makes smoothies in the blender. Molly’s husband likes to play golf. They made a fortune in the tire business but now, they’re both retired and ready to support Maxine and Molly’s dream. What a wacky group of neighbors.

Molly and Maxine are trying to break into the fashion industry. Since this the 80s, all of their designs feature shoulder pads and none of them look like they would, in any way, flatter the figure of anyone under the age of 57. Despite having never sold a design and presumably having never made any money from their career, Molly and Maxine have a store in the mall and they’re able to employ a professional cutter (Eric Christmas).

When Steve Ballinger (George DelHoyo), a buyer from Sacks, steps into their store, he’s impressed with their work. He wants to buy some of their hideous designs. But — uh oh! — he also mentions that he would like to set Maxine up with a single friend of his. Molly and Maxine assume that Steve is talking about himself and, eager to make a sale, they don’t reveal that Maxine is married.

Molly and Maxine lie to their husbands and then meet Steve for dinner. Steve shows up with his wife! And his single friend, Jim (Hugh Maguire). When Molly and Maxine thought that Steve was interested in Maxine himself, they thought he was being sleazy. But when they discover that Steve just wants to Maxine to hook up with his friend, they think it’s charming. Either way, it doesn’t really seem that professional on Steve’s part. I, honestly, was expecting Steve to be revealed to be a big liar. I mean, do buyers of major stores really walk around the strip mall? Not to mention that none of Molly and Maxine’s designs were actually any good or, in any way, unique. Steve might soon be out of a job.

Anyway, Maxine reveals that she is married and everyone has a good laugh over the misunderstanding. Then Molly and Maxine go home and have a second dinner with their husbands, who are both amazingly forgiving of the whole lying thing. I mean, Alex Rocco was Moe Greene. There’s just something weird about seeing him play such a wimpy character.

You can probably guess that this was the only episode of Changing Patterns. The show had a number of problems, including a laugh track that went off even when nothing funny was happening. The main problem, though, is that Molly and Maxine were pretty much interchangeable. They both had the same personality, the same outlook, the same ambitions, and the same sense of humor. That might work for a friendship but, for a television show, it means that there’s not enough conflict to keep things interesting. For Changing Patterns to succeed, it would have needed to change its own patterns.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.8 “The Baby Alarm/Tell Her She’s Great/Matchmaker, Matchmaker Times Two”

Posted on March 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week …. stuff happens!

Episode 4.8 “The Baby Alarm/Tell Her She’s Great/Matchmaker, Matchmaker Times Two”

(Dir by Ray Austin, originally aired on November 29th, 1980)

This episode opens with Doc, Gopher, and Julie all angry with Isaac. Apparently, while they were on shore leave, they went to see a church production of MacBeth, one that starred Isaac’s Aunt Tanya (Isabel Sanford) as Lady MacBeth. Apparently, the play was terrible and Aunt Tanya was even worse and somehow this is Isaac’s fault.

(Myself, I’m more confused by the idea of a church doing a production of MacBeth.)

Isaac, however, has one more favor to ask. Aunt Tanya is going to be a passenger on the next cruise, along with her husband, Charles (Mel Stewart). Isaac begs everyone to tell Tanya that she was great in the play. Everyone acts as if this is the most difficult thing that they’ve ever been asked to do but they finally agree. Even Captain Stubing agrees, even though he wasn’t at the play.

(Again, I’m confused as to why everyone is so upset over having to be polite to Isaac’s aunt. Were they all planning on throwing tomatoes at her and booing when she boarded the ship?)

All of the praise goes to Aunt Tanya’s head and, halfway through the cruise, she decides to leave her husband and go to Hollywood to be a star. Isaac finally has to tell Tanya that she’s not a good actress and that he had to beg his co-workers to be nice to her. Good Lord, how bad could she have been? The important thing, though, is that, by crushing Tanya’s dreams and confidence, Isaac is able to save the marriage.

Speaking of marriage, Mr. and Mrs. Clark (Troy Donahue and Terry Moore) think that it would be great if their son, Brett (Lorenzo Lamas, who looks nothing like either Troy Donahue or Terry Moore), married his friend-since-childhood, Cathy Cummings (Melissa Sue Anderson). Cathy’s parents (Farley Granger and Joan Lorring) agree! Brett and Cathy get so annoyed with all of the matchmaking going on that they decide to pretend that they’re sleeping together just to freak out their parents. And it works, despite the fact that the parents wanted them to get together in the first place. I guess the parents expected them to hold off on having sex until after the wedding. Get with the times, you boomers! Anyway, having fake sex causes Cathy and Brett to fall in love so I guess there will be real sex in the future …. but only after they say, “I do!” Dumb as this storyline was, Lorenzo Lamas and Melissa Sue Anderson were really cute together.

Finally, Cynthia Bowden (Susan Howard) boards the boat with her adorable baby. The baby has a sixth sense. If he cries, Cynthia knows that any nearby man is no good. For instance, no good Gig Wayburn (Stan Sells) is only interested in one thing and the baby cries as soon as he enters the cabin. Good, baby! Fortunately, when the baby’s father, Bill (John Reilly), shows up on the boat, the baby doesn’t cry at all and it leads to a happy reunion between him and Cynthia.

This week’s episode was pretty bland and I actually found myself struggling to remember much about it while writing up this review. Some cruises are like that, I guess.

Oh well….

….

Personally, I think I’d make a kickass Lady MacBeth.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.18 “Vengeance”

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

This week, Baywatch Nights get uncomfortably violent as a crazed killer escapes from prison and targets everyone responsible for putting him away in the first place.

Episode 1.18 “Vengeance”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on April 20th, 1996)

A psycho murderer named Johnny Larkin (Robert Dryer) escapes from prison and kills everyone who he blames for his conviction. He shoots a bailiff in the head. He beats the judge to death with his own gavel. He shoots the jury foreman and dunks his dead body into a fish tank. His latest target? The cops who arrested him, Lea Broussard (Dominique Jennings) and her former partner, Garner Ellerbee. It falls to Garner, Mitch, and Ryan to stop him.

Yikes! My main thought on this episode of Baywatch Nights was that it was unusually violent for the show. The episode opens with Johnny beating the judge to death and then its followed by a lengthy scene of Lea staring at the blood-drenched blanket covering the judge’s body and it just keeps going from there. The jury foreman begs for his life and says that he was just doing his civic duty and, as he died, it occurred to me that no one volunteers for jury duty. The man’s life is ended because he was randomly selected to serve. By the time Johnny was attempting to drown Lea, I found myself wondering about the families of all the people who had been killed and how their lives would be forever changed. It didn’t make for very pleasant viewing and it made the scenes of Mitch and Ryan flirting feel very awkward and out-of-place. I know that I’ve complained about Baywatch Nights leaving behind its noir inspirations to become an imitation of Baywatch but this episode goes too far in the other direction. Baywatch Nights should be a fun detective show, not a disturbing hour of televised horror.

I will give the show some credit for making Johnny Larkin into a genuinely scary villain. Robert Dryer played Johnny with just the right of amount of ruthless madness. That said, how stupid was Johnny to leave a newspaper clipping about his trial with the judge’s dead body? Basically, Johnny announced his guilt and that he was seeking to kill everyone who had anything to do with him getting convicted the first time. Way to lose the element of surprise, Johnny.

Anyway, this episode just wasn’t any fun and, as a result, I really don’t have much to say about it. If there’s anything that a show like Baywatch Night should never do, it’s taking itself seriously. This is a series that was made to be parodied and it is at its best when it hints that it’s in on the joke. Hopefully, next week’s episode will be better!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.17 “Also Rans/Portrait of Solange”

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s Tattoo’s birthday!

Episode 4.17 “Also Rans/Portrait of Solange”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on February 28th, 1981)

It’s hard to know where to start with this episode, it’s so odd.

The first fantasy features Larry Linville as Jerome Pepper, who works in the “women’s shoes department” at Latham Department Store. He has a crush on his co-worker, Delia (Joan Prather). Delia is also the daughter of Emmett Latham (Don Porter), the owner of the store. The shy Jerome has only one fantasy. He just wants Delia to notice him.

Well, it turns out that Delia and Emmett are on the Island! They keep their horse at the Fantasy Island Stables. Delia has challenged the owner of Selby’s Department Store, widow Amelia (Arlene Dahl), to a race. The only problem is that Delia is having trouble training her horse. The horse is fast but it always stops before crossing the finish line.

Mr. Roarke arranges for Jerome to bring a horse named The Professor to the stables. The Professor is such a charismatic horse that all other horses want to hang out with him. If The Professor is standing at the finish line, Delia’s horse will have no trouble running across it. Delia has definitely noticed Jerome now.

The day of the race, The Professor disappears! So, Jerome steals an ice cream truck (“Fantasy Island Ice Cream” is written on the side of vehicle) and drives around the island announcing, “Professor! Tutti Frutti! Professor! Tutti Frutti!” Luckily, Professor loves Tutti Frutti and escapes from the stable where Amelia’s people were holding him prisoner.

Jerome and the Professor show up at the finish line, just in time to help Delia’s horse win the race. Jerome and Delia fall in love. Amelia confesses that she’s in love with Emmett and the two decide to combine their stores. So, I guess we’re just going to ignore the fact that Amelia tried to steal The Professor!

Good Lord, this fantasy! The whole thing just felt like a combination of random plot devices that had probably been snipped out of other episodes. Perhaps it would have worked better if Jerome had been a young, nerdy guy but Larry Linville appeared to be in his 50s and far too old to require a fantasy in order to talk to a co-worker.

The second fantasy is a little bit more interesting, if just because Mr. Roarke is actually nice to Tattoo for once. Tattoo’s birthday is approaching so Roarke decides to give him a fantasy as a gift. Knowing that Tattoo is a fan of Toulouse-Lautrec (and Herve Villechaize was an acclaimed painter in real life, as well), Mr. Roarke arranges for the Traditional Dance Company of Paris to come to Fantasy Island to rehearse and so Tattoo can paint them.

While Tattoo enjoys sketching all of the dancers, his favorite subject is Solange Latienne (Elissa Leeds), who takes care of the company’s costumes but who dreams of dancing herself. We’re told that Solange is French, though she doesn’t speak with an accent and she uses an American pronunciation for her last name. Tattoo falls for Solange but the company’s arrogant choreographer, Mark Ellison (David Groh), goes out of his way to try to keep Solange away from Tattoo. Knowing that Tattoo is watching from a distance, Mark kisses Solange. Thinking that Solange has rejected him, Tatoo throws away a sketch he had done of her. Awwwwww!

Mr. Roarke informs Tattoo that an emergency meeting of the “Island Council,” has been scheduled for the night. (This is the first time we’ve ever heard of this Island Council.) Tattoo agrees to go in Roarke’s place but it turns out that the meeting is a surprise party! The owner of the Traditional Dance Company, Alfred Gerrard (MacDonald Carey), buys Tattoo’s sketches. Then Solange dances as a part of the birthday celebration and Alfred is so impressed that he makes her a part of the company. Take that, Mark!

So, both Solange and Tattoo’s fantasies come true. Though Solange still leaves the Island so, once again, Tattoo’s heart is broken. Again, awwwwww!

Elissa Leeds was convincing neither as a French girl nor as a dancer but the second fantasy was still enjoyable, if just because it gave Herve Villechaize a rare chance to do something more than announce the plane and ask Mr. Roarke to explain everyone’s fantasies. Villechaize did a good job in this episode and it was nice to see he and Montalban pretending to like each other.

It was an uneven episode but at least Tattoo had a nice birthday.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, someone is calling in false emergencies and neither Baker nor Ponch are going to let him get away with it!

Episode 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

A creepy weirdo named Walt (Brad David) is angry at the world. He hasn’t been able to get a job since he got out of prison and his sister is always giving him a hard time. Walt deals with his anger by driving up to police call boxes and phoning in reports of imaginary accidents. For every call, the fire department and the highway patrol waste precious recourses responding. Getraer wants the caller caught and he’s placed Jon in charge of the task force to take him down.

This is one of those episodes where the emphasis is on how all the various departments work together to keep people safe. Whenever Walt places a call, we’re presented with a montage of cops and firemen racing to be the first one to arrive at the “accident.” Though the show makes clear that Walt is not thinking straight and that he’s not in a good place mentally, the emphasis is still on how many resources are wasted on his calls.

It gets so bad that Jon and Ponch start to assume that every call is a prank. When someone calls in to say that a helicopter has crashed on the highway, Jon is shocked to discover that a helicopter actually has crashed. He and Ponch rush the plane’s cargo — rare blood for an operation — to a local hospital and are scolded for showing up late. That’s the danger of crying wolf. When Walt is finally caught by Baker and Ponch, he attempts to jump off a bridge. Baker and Ponch stop him, of course. As they pull him back to safety, Baker says that Walt is lucky they weren’t busy answering a false call.

This was a good episode for Baker, as he also got a subplot in which a minor motorcycle crash led to him meeting and dating an X-ray technician named Karen Rayburn (Kathryn Holcomb). Baker and Karen were a cute couple and there was something undeniably charming about how nervous Baker got whenever he had to flirt. Larry Wilcox was not the most expressive actor but his stiff demeanor was put to good use in this episode.

This was not a bad episode. Since the majority of the episode focused on one storyline, this episode felt more cohesive than some of the ones that came before it. As usual, the main highlight was watching Baker and Ponch weave their way in and out of traffic. The scenery was lovely and there was even an exploding helicopter! You can’t go wrong with that.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.6 “Buddies”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett discovers that one of his oldest friends has a secret.

Episode 2.6 “Buddies”

(Dir by Henry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on November 1st, 1985)

When sleazy stand-up comedian Morty Price (a youngish Nathan Lane) attempts to sexually assault a cocktail waitress named Dorothy (Eszter Balint), he ends up getting fatally stabbed with a steak knife. Dorothy flees from the crime scene, taking her baby and grabbing a bunch of random papers that, unknown to her, prove that Morty Price was placing illegal bets with mobster Frank Doss (Frankie Valli). This information could keep Doss from being able to get a casino license in Florida.

Because Doss and his partner, Johnny Cannata (Tom Signorelli), are mob-connected, Castillo and Vice take over the investigation of Price’s murder. Sonny and Tubbs learn, from an informant (Karla Tamburrelli), that Price took Dorothy up to his room before he was murdered. While Crockett and Tubbs search for Dorothy to find out what happened with Price, Doss and Cannata send their men to track down Dorothy and keep the papers from reaching the police.

During the investigation, Sonny is stunned to come across security footage of one of his oldest friends, Robbie Cann (James Remar), meeting with Doss and Cannata. Robbie not only served in Vietnam with Sonny but he has also recently asked Sonny to be his son’s godfather. Robbie has just opened up a club and, as he explains to Sonny, he finally feels like he’s something more than just a loser. When Sonny confronts Robbie about meeting with the gangsters, Robbie admits that he borrowed money from them to start the club but he insists that he doesn’t have any other type of relationship with them. However, when Sonny attends the christening of Robbie’s son, he discovers that Robbie’s name is actually Robert Cannata. He is Johnny Cannata’s son! Robbie insists that he has nothing to do with his father’s business but Sonny is forced to ask just how much he can trust one of his closest friends.

This episode is a bit of a mess. On the plus side, fans of character actors will enjoy this episode. James Remar’s nervy performance keeps you guessing and it’s undeniably interesting to see Nathan Lane playing someone that sleazy. Frankie Valli and Tom Signorelli make for convincing gangsters. It’s also the first episode of the series to really feature Sonny talking about what it was like to serve in Vietnam and it deserves some credit for attempting to explore the difficulty that many veterans face when trying to adjust back to civilian life. Robbie has not had an easy life after returning to the U.S. but now, he finally has a wife, a child, and a business. Sonny may feel betrayed by Robbie but he’s also aware that his investigation is going to potentially ruin Robbie’s life.

On the other hand, the episode attempts to take on so much that it stretches itself a bit then. It requires a real suspension of disbelief to accept that Sonny would just happen to be assigned to an investigation that would involve his best friend. I mean, what are the chances? The episode also can’t seem to decide if it wants to focus on Robbie or if it wants to focus on Dorothy and her child. As a result, neither story really feels as if it gets all of the attention that it deserves.

Next week, the Vice Squad investigates jazz legend Miles Davis!