Tag Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.6 “Master of Disguise”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

The search for cursed antiques continues!

Episode 2.6 “Master of Disguise”

(Dir by Tom McLoughlin, originally aired on November 11th, 1988)

A side job delivering antiques for use in a horror film leads to Micki meeting her favorite actor, the amazingly handsome and charming William Pratt (John Bolger).  And when the film’s leading lady refuses to shoot a scene because of Pratt’s method obsessiveness, Micki finds herself cast as her replacement.  Soon, Pratt and Micki are having a torrid romance.  Ryan feels that there’s something wrong with Pratt but then again, we all know that Ryan has unrequited romantic feelings for his cousin (ewwww!).

That said, Ryan is right.  Pratt is actually Jeff Amory, an actor who was so disfigured that he was previously typecast in horror films.  Amory disappeared after the murder of one of his co-stars, an actress who looked a lot like Micki.  Using a cursed makeup box that once belonged to John Wilkes Booth (“the actor who shot Lincoln,” Ryan helpfully explains), Amory has transformed himself into the handsome Pratt.  Unfortunately, the box needs to constantly absorb blood to work and Pratt has become a one-man murder spree.  (One of his victims is played by Aaron Schwartz, of Check It Out! fame.)  Will Micki become his next victim?

(An interesting piece of trivia: Booth is often described as just being “the actor who shot Lincoln,” but he was actually a legitimate star and a celebrity in both the North and the South in the years leading up to the Civil War.  The youngest and best-looking of the Booth brothers, he was an acclaimed and popular Shakespearean actor who was so handsome that women would flock to the theater whenever one of his show’s came to town.  He was the 19th century stage’s version of Ryan Reynolds.  Everyone who was into theater knew his name, even before he shot Lincoln.  America has seen many assassins who wanted to be celebrities.  Booth was a celebrity who wanted to be an assassin.)

This was an okay episode.  I liked the fact that Pratt was a bit more tormented by his actions than some of the other villains who have appeared on this show and I was also happy that Micki got to be at the center of the action, even if the episode’s script did make her a bit more flighty than she’s ever been previously portrayed.  Ryan’s romantic feelings for Micki are a little bit awkward, seeing as how they’re related but, again, they were necessary to establish why Micki was originally dismissive of Ryan’s concerns.

This episode ended with a bit of trivia, with Jack mentioning that William Pratt was also the real name of one of the gentlest men in show business …. Boris Karloff.  Again, you have to wonder why no one else noticed that is before Jack and why it took Jack so long to mention it.  Still, it’s nice that Karloff got a shout out.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.11 “A Place In History”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

Are you ready to get back into T and T?

Yeah, me neither.

But I made a commitment to review the show so here we go!

Episode 3.11 “A Place In History”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 17th, 1990)

Phil (Sean McCann), the new cut man at Decker’s gym, impresses everyone when he throws one solid punch that breaks the nose of a cocky boxer.  Phil tells them that he learned how to take care of himself back when he was better known as Lucky O’Mara.

OH MY GOD, everyone says, LUCKY O’MARA!

Apparently, in the 50s, Lucky O’Mara was a gangster who was famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.  His picture was never taken and his mysterious disappearance led to a legend growing all over Canada about what happened to Lucky O’Mara.  (He was the Toronto version of D.B. Cooper, I suppose.)  After the local media gets wind of Phil’s story, he becomes a celebrity.  Everyone wants to interview Lucky O’Mara.  And at least one person — a veteran mafia hitman — wants to kill Lucky O’Mara.

Only Turner, Terri, and Detective Hargrove are skeptical of Phil’s story.  When Hargrove summons Phil to the police station and announces that he’s going to be arrested for a murder that Hargrove says Lucky committed, Phil comes clean and admits that he’s not Lucky.  And it all turns out that Phil wasn’t going to be arrested anyway.  It was just a clever ruse on the part of Hargrove and Terri.

At the end of the episode, Phil is back to working as a cut man and no one at the gym seems to be all that upset about him lying to them.  Phil tells Turner that he actually is Lucky O’Mara.  Turner shrugs.

Wow, what a nothing episode.  The idea was intriguing but the episode did little with it.  You kind of have to wonder how it is that a busy policeman like Hargrove and a busy attorney like Terri have time to fake arrest someone.  I mean, aren’t there real arrests that need to be made?  Worst of all, T.S. Turner spent most of this episode sitting in his office.  He didn’t growl at anyone.  He didn’t threaten anyone.  He didn’t get mad at anyone.  What’s the point of T and T if you’re not going to use the T that most people are probably watching for?

This episode was typical of the third season of T and T.  It didn’t add up too much and Mr. T really didn’t seem like he wanted to be there anymore.  I know how he feels but there’s only a few more episodes to go and I’m going to review everyone of them.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.12 “The Good Doctor”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

It’s time to get back on that highway!

Episode 2.12 “The Good Doctor”

(Dir by William Claxton, originally aired on December 18th, 1985)

This week, Mark is super-excited about Jonathan’s new assignment.  They’re going to be working, as equipment managers, for a pro football team!  Mark’s excited because he loves football and he can’t wait to meet his favorite player of all time, a banged-up, aging guy named Alex Carpenter (Ray Young).

Jonathan, however, is concerned that everyone is on drugs.  Alex is in almost constant agony from his injuries and he’s gotten hooked on the pain pills that are provided to him by the team doctor, Dr. Dan Hickey (Michael Constantine).  Dan is hooked on pills himself, along with being an alcoholic.  Dan is such an addict that he doesn’t even realize that his son, medical student Neal (William Kirby Cullen), is now abusing drugs himself.  Everyone’s an addict and everyone’s in denial.

When Alex gets cut from the team, he is also cut off from his main supplier and soon, he’s tearing up his house while searching for any leftover pills.  (Jonathan appears and loudly encourages him to destroy his entire office while searching, presumably so Alex can see how out-of-control his addiction is.)  When Neal takes too many pills before his next exam, he ends up in the hospital.  And Dan is finally forced to admit that he hasn’t been a good doctor.

Does this episode end at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, attended by all three of the addicts?  You better believe it!

This was pretty much a typical Highway to Heaven episode.  This message was earnest and heartfelt but the direction and the script totally embraced the episode’s already heightened melodrama.  It wasn’t enough for Alex to get upset over not being able to find his pills.  Instead, he had to furiously toss everything around his office (and even break a window) while Jonathan shouted, “WHERE ARE THE PILLS, ALEX!?  WHERE ARE THEY!?”  It wasn’t enough for Dan to overprescribe pills.  He also had to be so drunk that he didn’t even notice when Jonathan materialized in his office.  And, of course, Neal had to OD because there was no way we were going to end this episode without someone being rushed to the hospital.  It was all a bit predictable but the show wasn’t incorrect when it came to discussing the dangers of abusing even prescription medication.  If the show aired today, the enemy would be fentanyl.  Since it was made in 1985, the enemy is instead just generic pain pills.

As often was the case with this series, the acting was a mixed bag but Michael Constantine was certainly effective as the “good doctor,” wandering through his day in a haze of pills and alcohol.  And Michael Landon delivered his denunciation of drugs with a quiet fury that let you know that he meant every word of it.

Next week, Jonathan and Mark help a young man who is living alone.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.5 “Photo Shoot”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

I meant to review this episode last week but it was so bad that the prospect of writing about it just filled me with an unending depression.  This week, I’m feeling a little better so let’s give it a shot!

Episode 1.5 “Photo Shoot”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 8th, 1998)

It’s been a while since I posted a review of Malibu, CA and I realize that the show is not a particularly well-remembered one.  It only aired for two seasons and so few people watched that it pretty much ended producer Peter Engel’s reign as America’s top producer of teen sitcoms.  So, here is a quick recap:

Scott (Trevor Merszei) and Jason Collins (Jason Hayes) are twin brothers from New York.  When their mother takes a job in Saudi Arabia (like, seriously, what the Hell?  Is she doing Bin Laden’s taxes?), Scott and Jason move in with their father, Peter (Edward Blatchford), who owns a restaurant in Malibu.  Scott and Jason both have a crush on their next door neighbor, Sam (Gina May).  Sam is friendly but doesn’t seem to really think of either of them in that way.  Sam’s best friend is a lifeguard who is nicknamed Stads (Wendi Kenya, who deserved better than this show).  Stads has a crush on Scott but Jason is the one who she kissed at the end of the previous episode.  Meanwhile, on the beach, Murray (Brandon Brooks) owns the surf shack and Traycee (Priscilla inga Taylor) wears a bikini.

All caught up?

Great!  Let’s talk about episode 5.

Or maybe we could just skip episode 5 because God, did it suck.

Basically, the theme of episode 5 is that Scott and Jason are the two worst human beings who have ever lived.  Scott finally asks Sam out on a date.  Sam accepts, for some reason.  But then a photographer named Devon (Simon Clark) asks Sam if she’s ever done any modeling and soon, Sam is more interested posing for Devon and going to Paris with him than in going out with some smirky frat boy from New York.  This is actually a great opportunity for Sam but Sam’s success would mean Scott not getting what he wants to Scott and Jason spend the whole episode trying to sabotage Devon’s attempts to get a decent picture of Sam.

If this sound familiar, you may be remembering when the exact same thing happened with Zack and Kelly on Saved By The Bell.  On Saved By The Bell, Zack learned the important of not being selfish and supporting Kelly’s dreams.  Kelly went to Paris to be a model but she was back the next episode and no mention was ever made of her time in Paris for the rest of the show.  On Malibu, CA, Scott acts like a possessive creep but he gets lucky in that Sam decides not to go to Paris because Devon tries a line on her about how she’s Cindy Crawford “without the mole.”  Scott gets what he wants but just because Devon turned out to be equally skeezy.

Ugh.  This episode.  There’s a real sense of entitlement to Scott and Jason that is very off-putting.  Entitled teenagers were a mainstay on Peter Engel’s shows but he usually able to temper that by casting likable actors.  With Malibu, CA, he went with two actors who both came across like two smirky, mentally dull frat boys and, as a result, Jason and Scott really do come across as being the worst two people in the world.

As for the rest of the episode, Jason and Stads continued to pretend as if they didn’t like each other while Murray used various new age techniques to cure Peter’s headache.  Even One World had better B-plots.  Bleh all around.

Oh well — at least there’s only 47 more episodes to go….

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.4 “The Last Cowboy/The Lady and the Monster”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

It’s time for another trip to the Island!

Episode 5.4 “The Last Cowboy/The Lady and the Monster”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on October 31st, 1981)

For the second week in a row, Tattoo is notably absent in this episode.  He is seen in the stock footage that opens each episode of Fantasy Island.  Shortly afterwards, his pre-recorded voice is briefly heard when Mr. Roarke explains to Julie that Tattoo has been turned invisible so that he can help with the fantasy of another guest who is also invisible.  Seriously, that’s the excuse that the show goes with.  Tattoo is “there” but he can’t be seen.  I can only imagine what was going on behind-the-scenes with Herve Villechaize.  It’s easy to assume that Villechaize was holding out for more money but, to be honest, it’s almost too easy to assume that.  It’s also possible that Villechaize may have just asked for some time off to pursue his career as a singer.

As for the fantasies, the better of the two featured Lynda Day George as scientist Carla Frankenstein, who comes to the island because she wants to clear her ancestor’s reputation for being mad.  Fortunately, the castle of Baron Frankenstein just happens to be on the Island!  In the castle, Carla finds evidence that, rather than trying to bring the dead back to life, the Baron was instead working on ways to extend the average lifespan.  She also discovers that the Baron’s monster (played by veteran character actor William Smith) is still living in the castle!

The Monster is a dignified old soul who has been mistreated every time that he’s left the Castle.  Carla befriends him but again, the Monster is forced to confront the pettiness of the outside world when a corporate spy (Ken Swofford) tries to take both Carla and Julie hostage.  After Carla and Julia are rescued, the Monster retreats to the Castle but Carla promises that she will not only return to see him but that she will also continue her ancestor’s research.  In fact, her company is going to build a lab on the Island and presumably employ the one or two Islanders who aren’t already employed by Mr. Roarke.

This was a Halloween episode so a Frankenstein fantasy feels appropriate.  William Smith played the role of the Monster with a wounded dignity that was actually quite touching.  His lonely existence was quite sad and I was actually glad when Roarke suggested that he and Julie would, from now on, be joining the Monster for dinner.

As for the other fantasy, Joe Campbell (Stuart Whitman) is yet another city slicker who wants to be a cowboy.  Joe thinks that Roarke is going to send him to the old west, as he has done for so many other people with the exact same fantasy.  Instead, Roarke gets all technical and says that Joe’s specific fantasy was to be a cowboy and not to travel to the old west.  Joe finds himself working as a hired hand on a modern-day ranch.  Once Joe stops whining (and it takes a while), he falls in love with widow Margaret Blair (Diane Baker), becomes a surrogate father to Jimmy Blair (Jimmy Baio), and he chasess off an evil biker (Robert Tessier).  In the end, Joe asks for permission to remain at the ranch and Fantasy Island.  Roarke agrees, probably so Joe can potentially replace Julie if she ever asks for a raise like Tattoo did.

This fantasy felt a bit too familiar.  It’s always weird how Roarke will arbitrarily decide to be strict with some guests while letting others do whatever they want.

Anyway, here’s hoping Tattoo returns next week!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.7 “High Flyer”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, it’s helicopter time!

Episode 2.7 “High Flyer”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on November 4th, 1978)

Ponch in the air?

Not if Ponch has anything to say about it!  All of the members of the Highway Patrol are apparently required to spend one day on helicopter patrol but Ponch is scared of heights.  First, he pretends to have a cold.  Then, he pretends to have an earache, just to discover that the helicopter has been grounded due to bad weather.  Finally, the day comes when Ponch has no more excuses and the weather is clear.  Ponch goes up in the air but, fortunately, being in the helicopter allows Ponch to spot the van that’s being driven by a bunch of car thieves that he and Baker have spent the entire episode chasing.  To give credit where credit is due, the scene where the helicopter chases a thief in a stolen car is genuinely well-shot and exciting to watch.  Fortunately, the thief managed to drive some place where no one else was around so the helicopter could then fly way too close to the ground and do a whole bunch of ludicrously dangerous stunts.  I’m kind of surprised no one died to be honest.

While Ponch dealt with his fear of flying, Baker dealt with Kim (Cynthia Bain), the teenage daughter of his neighbor, Carol (Mary Louise Weller).  After having a fight with her mother, Kim decided to just move into Baker’s apartment.  Realizing that Kim had a bit of a crush, Ponch and Baker recruited Sindy Cahill — the only female member of the Highway Patrol who has spent the entire season demanding to be taken seriously — to pretend to be Baker’s girlfriend.  Heart-broken, Kim returned home.  That was a really terrible ending for what, until that point, had actually been a well-acted look at teen angst and first crushes.  Weller, Bain, and Larry Wilcox were all giving sensitive performances so it’s a bit unfortunate that it was all just a set-up for another “Let’s-Demean-Cahill” moment.

So, this episode was not so great when it came to the human drama but it was redeemed by the helicopter action.  When in doubt, toss in a helicopter.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.17 “Florence Italy”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the Grand Prix comes to Miami!

Episode 2.17 “Florence Italy”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on February 14th, 1986)

An impromptu street race with a white Porsche leads to Crockett and Tubbs discovering the body of a young prostitute who was known as Florence Italy (Marilyn Romero).  Their chief suspect is the owner of the Porsche, a  racecar driver named Danny Tepper (Danny Sullivan).  However, while Tubbs is convinced that Danny is guilty, Crockett is a bit less convinced.  It soon becomes apparent that the murderer is either Danny or his father Frank (Stephen Joyce), a veteran racer who is scheduled to compete against his son in the up-and-coming Miami Grand Prix.

This was a bit of a throw-away episode.  It was shot during the actual Grand Prix and, as a result, the emphasis is less on the mystery and more on the cars and the racing and cheering people in the stands.  The majority of the racers (including Danny and Frank) are played by actual racers.  Indeed, if not for the brutal murder that starts things off and a sensitively-handled scene where Sonny tries to talk to a racing groupie who has been the victim of abuse, this episode could pass for a infomercial about everything that’s fun about Miami.  As it is, the mystery doesn’t amount to much.  There’s only two suspects and Tubbs is so convinced that Danny is guilty that it’s obvious that the twist is going to be that he isn’t.  That only leaves Frank.

On the plus side, the direction was stylish and neon-filled and the tragic Charles Rocket was entertaining in a small role as a sleazy race sponsor.  (I had to laugh when Crockett decided that the best way to solve the murder would be to go undercover of Sonny Burnett, racing sponsor.)  This episode did a good job of making Miami look like the ultimate playground, where even the prostitutes get to wear cute outfits and where Crockett might let a drug dealer go if he’s willingly eat his marijuana while Crockett and Tubbs watch.  Tubbs is full of righteous fury in this episode but Crockett just goes with the flow.

This was a fairly nonessential episode but …. hey, I like fast cars.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.10 “The Mandrake Root”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, on Monsters, a root leads to temptation!

Episode 2.10 “The Mandrake Root” 

(Dir by Brian Thomas Jones, originally aired on December 10th, 1989)

While cleaning out her recently deceased grandmother’s basement, Angela (Melba Moore) discovers a Mandrake root that is not only sprouting though the floor but which also appear to be “wearing” her grandmother’s ring.  She grabs the ring but pricks her finger as she does so, allowing her blood to drip down onto the root.

The next day, the root has been replaced by a shirtless, handsome man (Byron Minns), who promises Angela a world of sensual pleasure on the condition that she provide the blood that he needs to live.  At first, Angela resists but the Root is persistent and he certainly seems to care more about her than her inattentive (if well-meaning) husband (Frankie Faison).

This episode was full of atmosphere, it had an intriguing premise, and it featured good performances from Melba Moore and Frankie Faison.  (It’s always interesting to see Faison playing someone other than a cop or a military officer.)  Unfortunately, Byron Minns was fairly bland in the role of Angela’s tempter.  He was handsome but he didn’t have the screen presence necessary to believable as a centuries-old tempter.  As a result, this episode is good without quite being the classic that it could have been.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.18 “Aquaphobiac/Humpty Dumpty/The Starmaker”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week …. it’s one of the best episodes of The Love Boat ever!

Episode 4.18 “Aquaphobiac/Humpty Dumpty/The Starmaker”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 7th, 1981)

David Hasselhoff boards The Love Boat, for the second time!

This time around, the Hoff is playing Brian Kiley.  Brian and Julie went to college together.  Brian was the star quarterback and, as he explains it, he and Julie were a pretty serious couple at the time.  But, in the end, Brian ended up marrying Julie’s roommate and his own playing days came to a premature end when he broke his arm.  Now, he’s on the Love Boat and he wants to not only get back together with Julie but he also wants to make a comeback in the NFL!

Julie is tempted.  How couldn’t she be tempted by the Hoff?  But watching Brian talk about his glory days on the football field, she realizes that he’s living in the past and, to an extent, so is she.  Brian is, at first, upset by Julie’s feelings but then he realizes that she’s right.  He makes peace with his years as a famous quarterback and he leaves the boat not as Julie’s lover but as her good friend….

MY GOD, JULIE — IT’S THE HOFF IN HIS GLORY DAYS!  WHO CARES IF HE TALKS ABOUT FOOTBALL!?  CHASE AFTER HIM!

The Pointer Sisters also board the ship, this time as employees of the cruise.  Isaac want to impress a talent agent (Jeff Cooper) so he recruits the sisters to serve as his backing vocalists.  After seeing them perform, the talent agent is impressed but only by the sisters.  They get a recording contract while Isaac …. well, Isaac goes back to pouring drinks.  POOR ISAAC!  But give credit to Ted Lange, who brought a lot of sincere feeling to what could have been a throwaway storyline.

Finally, Glenn Dobson (Louis Nye) and his fiancée, Vanessa (Audra Lindley), board the boat so that they can get to know each other before the wedding.  Glenn has severe aquaphobia and cannot bring himself to take off his inflatable life jacket.  Vanessa tries to help him conquer his fear but nothing helps.  Glenn fears all the other passengers are laughing at him.  So, the crew and the passengers all put on their own life jackets to show Glenn that he has nothing to be ashamed of.

“Tonight,” Stubing announces, “we are truly a boat of love.”

Awwwwww!  Seriously, who would have guessed that The Love Boat would make me cry?  This was such a sweet story and both Louis Nye and Audra Lindley really seemed to be invested in their characters.  When Glenn finally removed his life vest and took a few stumbling steps into the pool, I wanted to cheer.

What a great cruise this turned out to be!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.6 “The Cabin”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Baywatch Nights travels not to the beach but instead to a cabin in the woods!

Episode 2.6 “The Cabin”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on November 3rd, 1996)

The sixth episode of Baywatch Nights‘s second season opens with a young woman who is being terrified in a cabin in the woods.  The woman is dressed for the 1990s but she’s being chased by an axe-wielding man named Horse Calhoun (Dennis Burkley), who is dressed for the 1890s.  The woman manages to escape Horse and his axe and let’s get credit where credit is due.  It’s a truly well-done sequence, featuring Dennis Burkley giving a ferocious and scary performance as Horse.

Diamont hires Mitch and Ryan to investigate the cabin, specifically because he thinks that the cabin is haunted and he wants to get the opinion of two skeptics.  (Ryan believes in ghosts but thinks that they are rare.  Mitch does not believe in ghosts but says they still scare him.  I have to go with Mitch on this one.)  Diamont specifically tells Mitch and Ryan not to enter the cabin until he is able to join them later.  So, of course, as soon as they arrive, Mitch and Ryan go right into the cabin.

That turns out to be a mistake.  While Ryan keeps herself busy putting away groceries, Mitch explores the cabin and soon discovers that they’re not alone.  There’s a woman (Lisa Stahl) is a bathtub who encourages Mitch to “take off your clothes” and join her.  There’s a decadent, cigar-chomping man (Danny Woodburn) who seems to be very amused with himself.  And, of course, there’s Horse Calhoun, rampaging down hallways and throwing axes at Mitch’s head.

The cabin, it turns out, is home to a portal, one that leads back to a New York brothel in the 1890s.  One hundred years ago, an insanely jealous Horse Calhoun killed everyone at the brothel.  Can Mitch and Ryan return to their own time before Horse adds them to his list of victims?

This episode is an example of Baywatch Nights at its best.  The plot is totally ludicrous and the low-budget forces the show to keep things simple (it’s a rather rustic brothel) but the idea behind the plot is properly creepy and Woodburn, Stahl, and especially Burkley all do a good job bringing their undead characters to life.  (Heh heh….)  Burkley makes Horse into a fierce madman, one who throws his axes with the authority of someone who no longer cares who might get in the way of the blade.  Finally, this episode featured a lot of Hasselhoff/Harmon chemistry.  Harmon was earnest and determined while Hasselhoff …. well, he was the Hoff.  We’re lucky to have him.

The Cabin was Baywatch Nights as its best.