Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.3 “Bug House”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

It’s time to return to Monsters!

Episode 3.3 “Bug House”

(Dir by Kenny Myers, originally aired on October 14th, 1990)

Ellen (Karen Sillas) visits her sister, May (Juliette Kirth) and is shocked by what she discovers.  May is living in a cabin that was once owned by their father and she’s allowed the place to become infested with roaches and other bugs!  May is pregnant and appears to be mentally unstable.  She lives with her boyfriend, the handsome but creepy Peter (Robert Kerbeck).

What’s interesting is that, even though Ellen is disgusted by how May is living, one gets the feeling that Ellen is also secretly happy to see that her sister is struggling.  It’s obvious that there are a lot of complicated feelings between the two of them.  Their conversation at the start of the episode is a masterclass in passive aggressive communication.  And even though Ellen claims not to trust Peter, it’s easy to guess what’s going to happen between them.

Unfortunately, Peter’s not just some creepy guy with a condescending attitude.  He’s actually an insectoid creature who just happens to be wearing a human mask.  And when May gives birth, she gives birth to a giant roach.  While Peter gazes adoring at the roach, May is devoured by maggots.  As terrifying as that is, the episode ends with Ellen pregnant….

AGCK!

This was an episode of Monsters that actually lived up to its name.  Peter was a horrifying creation and the scenes with the bugs were among some of the most effective that I’ve seen on this show.  With this episode, Monsters moved beyond the deliberate campiness of the majority of its episodes and instead embraced Cronenbergian body horror.  The atmosphere was full of dread and the cabin was an effectively macabre location.  (What made the cabin especially disturbing was that it was obvious that it had once been quite nice before Peter moved in.  Bugs ruin everything!)  Everything from the dilapidated set design to the dark lighting to the ominous music came together to make this episode feel like a filmed nightmare.  Speaking for myself, there’s nothing more terrifying than a giant roach.  Seriously, I hate those things!  Even the name — Roach — sounds like something that would kill you if it got a chance.

But what truly made this episode work were the performances of Karen Sillas and Juliette Kirth as the two sisters.  They not only captured the bond that all sisters share but they also captured how that bond can sometimes lead to competition.  The sisters love each other but there’s also a lot of resentment behind almost everything that they say to each other, which brings a whole extra layer of meaning to this episode’s story.

This was an excellent episode and a great way to return to Monsters!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.11 “He’s My Brother/Zeke and Zelda/Teach Me Tonight”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Love Boat is back for a new year of reviews!

Episode 5.11 “He’s My Brother/Zeke and Zelda/Teach Me Tonight”

(Dir by Bruce Bilson, originally aired on December 5th, 1981)

This week, Doc Bricker’s brother boards the Love Boat and boy, does he turn out to be a jerk!  Fred Bricker (Jack Bannon) is bitter because their father paid for Doc to go to medical school while Fred had to stay behind on the farm.  Now, Fred is married to Nancy (Elaine Joyce) and worried about how he’s going to afford to send his own son to college.  Convinced that Doc is rich, Fred thinks that Doc should pay for his nephew’s college tuition.  Doc agrees.  Fred still acts like an ungrateful jackass but, when he learns that Doc has actually taken out a loan to pay the tuition, Fred realizes that Doc may not be rich but he is a good man.

The weird thing about this storyline is that Fred didn’t have enough money to send his kid to college but apparently, he did have enough money to take an expensive cruise on a luxury liner.  The other strange thing is that Fred didn’t know that Doc worked on the ship until he saw him in the lobby.  Fred just happened to buy a ticket for the same ship that his brother worked on.  Every episode of The Love Boat featured its share of implausible coincidences but this episode really pushes suspension of disbelief to its breaking point.  On a positive note, this story did allow us to see another side of Doc.  Bernie Kopell is always more believable when he gets to play Doc as being a nice guy as opposed to playing him as being an irredeemable lech.

Speaking of money, two old vaudevillians (played by Milton Berle and Martha Raye) haven’t had much of it ever since their style of performing went out of fashion.  Berle and Raye stowaway on the ship and then attempt to freeload their way through the cruise by pretending to be another set of passengers, Zeke and Zelda Van Buren (played by Herb Edelman and Elinor Donahue).  The captain is not amused when he finds out that someone is breaking the law on his boat but then Milton and Martha sing a duet of For Me And My Gal and all is forgiven.  The Captain arranges for them to get a job as entertainers on another ship.  I’ve noticed that the Captain never really seems to punish any of the many stowaways who have taken a trip on The Love Boat.  And you know what?  Good for him!  There’s a place for mercy in this cold world of ours.

Finally, romance novelist Michael Scott (Daryl Anderson) has a one night stand with teacher Emily Parker (Susan Richardson).  Michael — and yes, it’s impossible not to think of The Office whenever anyone mentions the character’s name — is stunned when Emily gets emotional after their night together.  “You’re acting like you’ve never done this before….” Michael says and, of course, it turns out that she hasn’t.  This was a pretty bleh storyline but it did lead to a funny scene where Michael attempts to have a conversation with Emily while two old ladies eavesdrop and freak out every time they hear the word “virgin.”

I enjoyed this cruise, mostly because it gave Bernie Kopell a chance to actually do some real acting for once.  I always like it when Doc turns out to be a nice guy.  Milton Berle and Martha Raye are, to put it lightly, an acquired taste but both of them give good performances in this episode and even manage to pull off their duet without making it too cringey.  As for the third storyline, it was defeated by the lack of chemistry between Daryl Anderson and Susan Richardson.  Still, two out of three is not bad.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.5 “Everybody Wants Something”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, the Zits finally film their music video!  Can super stardom be far behind?  Or will Joey just end up a middle-aged man who keeps his keyboard in the attic and who insists on making his stepson Craig listen to his one demo tape over and over again?  I guess it could go either way….

Episode 1.5 “Everybody Wants Something”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on November 27th, 1989)

This week’s episode of Degrassi High had a few dramatic moments.  Caitlin kissed Claude and then finally got around to breaking up with Joey.  Erica caught Liz taping a “Baby Killer” poster on her locker and the two of them got into a fight in the high school hallway.

However, for the most part, this episode was about one band and one music video.

After weeks of haggling, the Zits finally came up with a music video concept that Lucy was willing to film.  (Personally, I have to wonder why the band didn’t just offer to pay Lucy to let them borrow her camera, as opposed to giving her creative control over their music video.)  Instead of filming the band hanging out with “groupies,” Lucy filmed them lip-synching to their only song while either sitting in Clutch’s car or a dumpster.

As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that this was a story that really wouldn’t make sense today.  Apparently, when this episode aired, someone having their own video camera (as Lucy does) was considered to be exotic.  Today, the Zits would just film their video on Joey’s phone and post in online.  Or, somewhat distressingly, they would just use AI.  That said, there’s something actually kind of charming about the Zits pretending to sing in front of a video camera while their song plays on a tape player.  The video may look cheap and dorky but everyone involved seems to be having a blast filming it.  This episode definitely captured the fun of feeling like anything’s possible.  Joey may have gotten dumped by Caitlin in this episode but who knows?  Maybe this cheap music video will lead to future rock stardom!

(Actually, as those of us who were introduced to this show via Degrassi: The Next Generation can tell you, Joey is destined to end up selling used cars.  As for the other members of the Zits, Snake is going to become principal of Degrassi and Wheels is going to end up in prison after driving drunk and blinding the director of the band’s music video, Lucy.  Even the happier episodes of this show are very depressing when viewed with the benefit of hindsight.)

Due to the approaching holidays, this will be final Degrassi review for 2024!  My reviews of this show will return on January 5th!  Until then, remember …. in yourself, you must believe!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 2.1 “Bop Gun”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the second season begins with a special guest star.

Episode 2.1 “Bop Gun”

(Dir by Stephen Gyllenhaal, originally aired on January 6th, 1994)

The 2nd season of Homicide opens with a murder.  That’s not surprising, considering the name of the show and the fact that it’s taking place in Baltimore, which had (and has) one of the highest murder rates in the country.  However, this time, the victim is an innocent tourist from Iowa, gunned down because she and her family took a wrong turn and ended up in a neighborhood that was far from the wharf.  With the press in a feeding frenzy over how unsafe Baltimore is, the bosses want the shooter to be caught and sentenced quickly.

Detective Beau Felton, the primary on the case, is overjoyed.  Sitting in the squad room and joking about how the victim’s husband didn’t even know what type of gun was used in the robbery-turned-murder, Felton brags that he is going to be making so much overtime off of this case.

Unfortunately, the victim’s husband happens to be in the squad room and he overhears Felton.  Angry, tired, and still wearing a shirt stained with his wife’s blood, Robert Ellison (played by special guest star Robin Williams) demands that Felton be taken off the case.

Giardello takes Ellison into his office and explains that Felton is the primary and he can’t be replaced.  Giardello also lists all of the other murders that Felton has recently worked.  Felton deals with violent death every day.  Giardello says that Felton is going to solve the case but he’s not going to “feel” Mrs. Ellison’s death the same way that her family does.

It’s an interesting scene and undoubtedly, a realistic one.  From the very first episode, Homicide has emphasized the gallows humor that goes along with being a homicide detective in a big city.  This episode, though, marks the first time that we get to see how an outsider would react to that attitude.  Significantly, Felton never apologizes and, even after the shooter is arrested, Ellison never forgives Felton for his comments.  Whenever the two interact, it’s obvious that they don’t like each other.  But they’re forever linked by one act of violence.

Felton ends up arresting three men.  Two of them are accused of robbing the Ellison family and being accessories to the murder.  They end up with 30 years in prison.  The accused shooter is Vaughn Perkins (Lloyd Goodman), a teenager who has never had any trouble with the police and who not only tries to write Ellison a note of apology but who also pleads guilty and accepts a life sentence.  (Ellison, in another example of this show choosing realism over sentimentality, refuses to read the note.)

Kay Howard is convinced that Vaughn is covering for the other two men, saying that Vaughn just seems too quiet and meek to be a cold-blooded murderer.  At the end of the episode, she goes down to the prison and meets with Vaughn, who now goes by the name Abu Aziz.  Though he initially tries to act hard, the former Vaughn Perkins finally admits that he was holding the gun during the robbery because he thought he could “control” the situation and keep anyone from getting hurt.  But when Mrs. Ellison refused to give up a locket, he panicked and shot her.  He lost control and, in a split second, he changed the lives of everyone involved.  Feeling defeated by the sad reality of Baltimore, Kay leaves the prison and heads back to work.

When Homicide returned for a second season, it was only given a four-episode order.  With the show on the cusp of cancellation, Homicide only had four hours in which to prove itself.  Originally, Bop Gun was scheduled to be the second season finale.  NBC, wanting to take advantage of having Robin Williams as a guest star, instead decided to move the episode to the start of the season.  That was probably a good idea.  Bop Gun is a good episode that reintroduces us to squad room and also features an excellent performance from Robin Williams.  Williams could, to be honest, be a bit hit-and-miss when it came to dramatic roles but he does wonderful work here, perfectly capturing Ellison’s anger, sadness, and desperation.  He starts the episode as a stunned innocent but, by the end of it, he’s become a much more hardened individual, one who has no interest in Vaughn’s heartfelt but too little and too late apology.  Just Vaughn now has to act hard to survive in a physical prison, Ellison has had to shut off his feelings so that he can survive in his emotional prison.

(As a sidenote, Ellison’s son is played by a very young Jake Gyllenhaal, whose real-life father directed this episode.)

If the first season occasionally felt a bit too much like an insider’s view of the Homicide Department, this episode gives us the point of view of an outsider.  Through Ellison’s eyes, we are reintroduced to the detectives.  Felton may not be a great cop or even a likable human being but he gets the job done in this episode.  And while Felton will now move on to the next case, Robert Ellison will spend the rest of his life thinking about that one day in Baltimore.

Because of the holidays, this is my final Homicide review of 2024!  These reviews will return on January 5th!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 3.1 “The Umpire Strikes Out”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, we begin the third and final season of Check It Out!

Episode 3.1 “The Umpire Strikes Out”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on October 4th, 1987)

Marlene is nervous because her father, Charlie (Michael Donaghue), is coming to visit.  Charlie is professional baseball umpire and Marlene has always had a strained relationship with him.  She feels that Charlie always wanted a son and that he resented her for not being into sports.  After Edna allows Marlene to use her apartment to throw a small party for Charlie, Marlene suddenly starts dressing conservatively and her childhood stutter returns.  She also stops dying her hair.

Agck!  Poor Marlene!  I could very much relate to her in this episode, largely because I had a pretty bad stutter up until I was 12 and sometimes it still kicks in if I haven’t gotten enough rest.  Fortunately, Charlie does eventually realize that he was always too hard on Marlene and they agree to work on their relationship.  Yay!

Meanwhile, Leslie’s feeling insecure about his age so he tries to wear a wig.  It’s not a very good wig.  It’s a pretty simple and obvious joke but Aaron Schwartz did a really good job selling it.  Both Aaron Schwartz and Kathleen Laskey were capable of getting laughs out of the mildest of jokes and they both got a chance to show off their abilities in this episode.

This was the first episode of Check It Out!‘s third season and, from the start, it is obvious that some changes were made after the end of the previous season.  Simon Reynolds is no longer in the cast, which is a shame because Reynolds was a good actor but it’s also somewhat realistic as Reynolds was playing a high school kid who, presumably, moved on to better things (like college).  Whereas Howard always wore a suit during the second season, his work attire is now a dorky smock that is labeled “Howie, Store Manager.”  Howard’s office now overlooks the salesfloor and, in this episode, there were enough extras in the background to convince me that Cobb’s was an actual grocery store as opposed to just a soundstage.  I don’t know if this is going to be a permanent change or not but Howard was a bit less silly and more of a manager in this episode.  It felt like a change for the better.

Believe it or not, this was actually a pretty good episode.  Especially when compared to some season 2’s lesser episodes, the third season premiere was consistently funny and well-acted and the story actually made sense.  Is this a fluke or did Check It Out! finally get itself together during the final season?

We’ll find out in 2025!  Due to the holidays, this is my final Check It Out! review for 2024.  These reviews will return on January 4th.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.11 “Frog Day Afternoon”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, Horshack takes center stage.  You’ve been warned.

Episode 4.11 “Frog Day Afternoon”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on November 25th, 1978)

This week’s episode of Welcome Back, Kotter does not feature Mr. Kotter.

It does not feature Vinne Barbarino.

It doesn’t even feature Beau, the new Sweathog.

It does feature a lot of the show’s two most annoying characters, Arnold Horshack and Julie Kotter.

Horshack doesn’t want to dissect a frog because he’ll be required to kill the frog before cutting it open.  Did they really used to require students to personally kill their own frog in biology class?  That’s a little extreme.  I always assumed that everyone just got frogs that were already dead.

Julie, of course, support Horshack’s right to not open up a frog and argues with Woodman about it.  I’m not really sure what Julie actually does at the school.  Sometimes, she appears to be a guidance counselor.  Other times, she appears to be a receptionist.  She’s been called Woodman’s “secretary” a few times but we don’t ever actually see her doing any sort of secretarial work.  I guess that, when Gabe Kaplan announced he wouldn’t be appearing in the majority of the 4th season episodes, they had to put Julie in the school so that there would still be a Kotter in Welcome Back, Kotter.  But Julie’s originally from Nebraska so it’s not like she’s the one being welcomed back to Brooklyn.

Anyway, Horshack argues that frogs don’t get a say in whether or not they want to die and he refuses to kill them.  His teacher (Dena Dietrich) says that she’ll have to give Horshack an F.  Washington says, “You better lay one of those F’s on me too.”  Epstein also decides to take the F.  The entire class is so moved by Horshack’s stand that they all ask for an F as well!

Normally, this would be very moving but since every student at the school appears to be in their 30s, it’s pretty obvious that none of them are that worried about their grades.  When you’ve already been held back twelve times, it’s not like another F is going to make a difference.

This episode …. yech.  I mean, to be honest, I had sympathy for Horshack’s position.  I certainly wouldn’t want to kill a frog or any other animal and I agree that students who object should be given an alternative assignment.  I mean, unless you’re planning on actually going into the medical field, I don’t really see what the point is in dissecting things in school.  But Horshack has become such an annoying character that it didn’t matter that I agreed with him.  I just wanted him to stop talking!

During the first season, Ron Pallilo actually did a pretty good job playing Horshack.  Horshack was strange but he wasn’t a cartoon.  But that changed somewhere around the middle of the second season and, with each episode since then, Horshack has progressively become more and more annoying.  He’s not a proper replacement for Barbarino.

Anyway. bless the frogs.  They’re nice creatures if you don’t bother them.

This is my final Welcome Back, Kotter review of 2024.  These reviews will resume after the holidays, on January 4th.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.5 “Samuels and the Kid”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week’s episode of St. Elsewhere featured Dr. Craig winning an award.  Good for him!

Episode 1.5 “Samuels and the Kid”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 30th, 1982)

This week’s episode of St. Elsewhere was kind of boring,  It wasn’t a bad episode because the show was well-acted and even the boring subplots felt as is they were part of a bigger whole but, especially when compared to last week’s episode, Samuels and the Kid just wasn’t as compelling.

The Kid of the title is Robbie Durant (Jeremy Licht), a young patient who needs to have some minor surgery done on his ankle.  Dr. Samuels take a really intense interest in the kid, bonding with him and even offering him tickets to a Patriots football game.  At first, it seems like Samuels is just trying to be nice to a kid who is in a scary situation.  (When I was growing up, I spent a few nights in the hospital because of my asthma and it always scared me to death.)  But, at the end of the episode, it is revealed that Samuels had a son who was Robbie’s age who died in a freak accident.  As for Robbie, the operation is a success but he still dies as the result of an embolism.  It was sad but, at the same time, I knew Robbie was going to die as soon as he showed up in the hospital.  I’ve seen enough medical shows to know.

Dr. Cavanero was at a bed-and-breakfast when she learned that one of her patients had gone into labor and was at her apartment alone.  Cavenro had to beg people for change so that she could use a pay phone to call the patient’s neighbors so that she could talk them through delivering the baby.  Seen today, the most interesting thing about this storyline is that it takes place at a time when people had to carry around quarters so that they could call each other in case of an emergency.  (There is a very dusty old payphone a few blocks away from my house.  I assume it doesn’t work and I don’t think it’s been touched by human hands since the 90s — and I’m certainly not going to touch it! — but it’s always interesting to see it sitting there like some haunted beacon of the past.)

Dr. Fiscus continued to have sex with Kathy Martin.  Good for them but I really don’t know that I need to spend a good deal of time listening to Howie Mandel talk about his sex life.

Dr. Chandler (Denzel Washington) accused a nurse of being incompetent.  Nurse Rosenthal (Christina Pickles) got mad at him for yelling at the nurse in the hospital hallway.  Dr. Westphall mediated and agreed to move the nurse to another floor.  Denzel Washington is always fun when he’s yelling at people.

There was one very funny scene.  Dr. Craig won an award for surgeon of the year and gave an extremely long, pompous, and rather bitter acceptance speech.  (The award was a plaster cast of his own hands.)  William Daniels played the scene perfectly and I have a feeling that Dr. Craig is going to end up becoming my favorite character.  As a bonus, Daniels’s wife, Bonnie Bartlett, appeared as Craig’s wife.  By the middle of Craig’s speech, even she had stoppled listening and lit a cigarette.

As I said, this was a little bit of a boring episode.   Still, I look forward to the future of the show!

Speaking of the future, this is my last St. Elsewhere review of 2024.  My next review of this show will post on January 3rd!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.5 “That’s Our Dad”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark are in Hollywood …. again!

Episode 3.5 “That’s Our Dad”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on October 29th, 1986)

Two orphans, Sarah (Kelley Parker) and Joey (R.J. Williams), are upset because they’re about to be split up.  A family wants to adopt Sarah but they don’t feel like bringing along her best friend, Joey.  Joey and Sarah wish that they could live with Bill Cassidy (Ned Beatty), the star of America’s favorite sitcom, That’s My Dad!

Sarah and Joey run away from the orphanage and end up at the studio at the exact same time that Bill is holding auditions to find a new co-star for That’s My Dad.  Sarah and Joey tell Bill about their tragic backgrounds and how they each lost their parents.  Bill, thinking that the kids are doing audition pieces, is so impressed that he tells his producer that he wants the kids to be hired immediately.  The kids think that this mean they’re being adopted!  Yay!

Unfortunately, Bill is a bitter man who, in private, doesn’t behave like the perfect father that he plays on television.  Adopt two kids?  Why would Bill want to do that!?  Fortunately, Jonathan and Mark just happen to be installing a new security system at Bill’s home.  Jonathan helps Bill to see that, even though he’s bitter, he could still redeem himself by adopting two random children.  The end result is an episode that pretty much epitome of Highway To Heaven, shamelessly sentimental but heartfelt enough to be effective.

This was not Ned Beatty’s first appearance on Highway to Heaven.  During the first season, he played two roles in The Banker and the Bum Beatty does a pretty good job in this episode, playing Bill Cassidy as someone who can be unpleasant but not so unpleasant that his later change of heart doesn’t feel credible.  From the first minute we meet Bill, we know he’s going to turn out to be not such a bad guy, if just because that’s what always happens on Highway to Heaven.  On this show, even the most unlikable of characters usually achieve some sort of redemption.  The main theme is the no one is bad as they originally seem.  That’s actually a pretty sweet message when you think about it.

Highway to Heaven did quite a few shows about show business.  I’ve read that Michael Landon was something of a workaholic and, as a result, he later felt that he missed out on spending time with his children.  Certainly, that would explain why almost every Hollywood episode of Highway to Heaven seems to feature an actor or director who needs to learn to make time for the people in their lives.

Speaking of making time for the people in your life, it’s the holidays.  This is going to be my final Highway to Heaven review for 2024.  These reviews will return on January 2nd!

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.21 “Scott’s Secret Dream”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, I continue I wonder why I ever started reviewing this show in the first place.

Episode 1.21 “Scott’s Secret Dream”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 18th, 1999)

This week’s episode of this terrible show revolves around the local television news.  Everyone is looking for a job.

Traycee, for instance, gets a job as the weather girl and spends her time saying that she doesn’t want it to rain in Malibu so she’s decided that it will be sunny instead.  The judgmental and humorless station intern is not amused by any of this.  Anyone who has watched this show should have little trouble guessing that the intern is Stads.

(It’s kind of sad how, in just a few episodes, Stads went from being the fun, kooky lifeguard to being a hyperjudgmental killjoy.)

Jason is excited because the station is sponsoring a jingle contest.  He wants to be a professional songwriter so maybe this could be his chance!  Jason does manage to win the contest but he spends so much time working on the jingle that he keeps his brother, Scott, from getting so much-needed sleep.

Scott has a secret dream.  He wants to be the station’s sports reporter.  (How about finishing high school first, Scott?)  Even Stads thinks that Scott would be a good sports reporter.  Unfortunately, Scott shows up for his audition exhausted and blows his big chance.  The station hires someone over the age of 17 to be the sports reporter.

Fortunately, for Scott, the newly hired sports reporter turns out to be a sexist pig and he’s fired after he follows Jason’s advice and hits on the station manager.  (Why is anyone following Jason’s advice about anything?)  So, Scott gets another chance to audition but this time, he drinks too much coffee and ends up jumping on the news desk and dancing.

(Because, y’know, that’s something you totally do if you drink a lot of coffee.)

Can Jason and Stads get Scott a third audition?  Yes, they can but the way they do it is so stupid that I don’t even want to talk about it.  The important thing is that Scott gets the weekend sports job and …. well, I guess he’ll just work as a busboy at the restaurant for the rest of the week.

(I’m starting to think this show isn’t very realistic.)

Meanwhile, Peter is upset because he’s single and he’s taking out his frustration on Murray.  So, Murray sends Peter a note from a secret admirer and …. you know what?  This is too stupid to talk about.  Brandon Brooks, as always, deserves some credit for bringing a touch of genuine sweetness to Murray’s odd behavior but …. no, no, I’m not going to talk about it.  This whole subplot was just too stupid.  Brandon Brooks and Ed Blatchford were probably the closest thing this show had to genuinely talented actors but the show always wasted them in the dumbest B-plots.

When I first started reviewing this show, I disliked both Scott and Jason equally.  As this season has progressed, Scott has grown on me a little because, unlike his brother, he’s not a total sociopath.  Scott, at the very least, seems to want to be a good person.  Jason, on the other hand, just seems like he’s destined to go to prison for cheating someone out of their life savings.

Thank God, it’s the holidays!  This is my last Malibu, CA review for 2024.  My reviews of this show will return on January 2nd.  Until then, I’m free from the Collins brothers!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 3.2 “Murray’s Monster”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters tries to be funny and it actually succeeds for once!

Episode 3.2 “Murray’s Monster”

(Dir by Scott Alexander, originally aired on October 7th, 1990)

Murray’s Monster opens with Sherwin (Joe Flaherty) laying on a psychologist’s couch and talking about how much he hates his overbearing wife while Debbie (Teresa Gaznel) takes notes.  Debbie suddenly tells Sherwin that they’re out of time because Sherwin has to see his next patient.  Sherwin sits up on the couch and Debbie returns to the reception desk.  It’s an obvious joke but one that is well-played by both Joe Flaherty and Teresa Ganzel.  That’s another way of saying that it made me laugh, even though I saw it coming.

Sherwin’s new patient is Murray (Marvin Kaplan).  Murray is nervous and apologetic.  He even apologizes for coming to his appointment, offering to come back next week if it’s too much of a bother for Sherwin to see him that day.  Murray explains that people have been kicking him around all of his life and he’s sick of it.  Sherwin, after telling Murray that he’s less than a man, puts Murray under hypnosis.  Sherwin tells Murray to be more assertive.  Murray promptly turns into an angry ape-man (Colin Penman).  Ape-Man Murray is angry and destructive but, once he calms down, he turns back into Murray.

Frightened at first, Sherwin soon realizes that he can use Murray to his advantage.  He invites Murray to have dinner with his wife, Luann (Miriam Flynn).  His plan is that Murray will get angry with Luann, turn into an ape, and kill her.  Then Sherwin will be free to pursue Debbie.  Sherwin’s plan works in that Murray does get frustrated and he does turn into the ape.  But, instead of killing Luann, he instead picks her up and runs off with her.

The next day, Sherwin is shocked when Murray and Luann show up at his office.  It turns out that, since Murray was sick of people always telling him what to do, Ape Murray decided to disobey Sherwin’s wishes and has instead fallen in love with Luann.  When Sherwin gets upset and starts yelling, Murray turns into the ape again.  Uh-oh!

(As Luann puts it, “You’re a bad psychologist, Sherwin, because you never listen to your patients!”)

I have to say that I usually cringe whenever Monsters tries to be deliberately funny but this episode actually made me laugh.  Joe Flaherty and Marvin Kaplan both had great comedic timing and, even though I saw the final twist coming, the dialogue was still clever enough and the performances sharp enough to hold my interest.  This was a good episode.  Good for Murray.  Good for Monsters!

With the the holidays approaching, this is my final review of Monsters for 2024.  My Monsters reviews will return on January 1st, 2025!