Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.15 “Attack”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, the identity of the Ski Mask Rapist is revealed.

Episode 2.15 “Attack”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 22nd, 1984)

The Ski Mask Rapist is continuing to attack.  Off-screen, a pharmacist is assaulted while trying to catch her train.  In the hospital, a candy striper gets lost in the cavernous building and is attacked in a storage room.  When Shirley Daniels enters the storage room, she’s startled by a man wearing a pest control outfit.  She sprays him with her mace but is later told that the police do not believe that he was the rapist.  Instead, he was just a man trying to steal drugs.  When Fiscus tries to put together a list of men who will walk the women to their cars, Dr. Cavanero tells him that one of the men on his list could very well be the rapist.

Amongst themselves, the women who work at St. Eligius debate what they would do if they are attacked.  Shirley carries her mace.  Wendy says that she would use her keys as a weapon.  Jacqueline Wade says that women who don’t struggle and just submit have a better chance of surviving.  Dr. Cavanero dumps her insensitive boyfriend after he offers up a half-hearted, insincere apology for trying to force himself on her during the previous episode.  The head of the hospital’s security gives a lecture and makes the women feel like the attacks are somehow their fault.  “There’s no need to get hysterical,” he says.

(Myself, I carry mace.  I’m always scared that I’ll accidentally spray myself in the face with it but still, I carry it.)

Kathy Martin turns down the offer of a rape whistle, saying that carrying it would give her the aura of a victim.  As the episode ends, she’s attacked in the morgue.  She manages to push up the ski mask, revealing the face of …. Peter White.

It’s not really a surprise that Peter turned out to be the rapist.  I suspected it was him last week.  Rape may be classified as a sex crime but ultimately, it’s about power.  The weakest men are rapists and there’s no man on this show who is weaker than Peter White.  Before Peter attacks Kathy, we see him with a prostitute who tells him that it’s okay that he couldn’t get it up.  Peter mentions that it’s his anniversary.  Peter is weak and, looking back at the the moment he first appeared during the first season (begging Dr. Morrison to cover for him), it’s obvious that the series has been building up to the moment that he loses control.

There were other things that happened during this episode.  Geraldine Fitzgerald played a patient who Auschlander dated in his younger days.  (Now, she’s a drug addict.)  Victor and Roberta returned from their honeymoon, Victor with a painful sunburn and Roberta with a host of problems that she accidentally broadcast to the entire hospital while talking to her friend in the front office.  (You have to make sure the PA is turned off before talking about your sex life, folks.)  There was a humorous scene in which Dr. Ridley got into an argument with Roberta’s psychiatrist (Philip Sterling).  Dr. Morrison tried to figure out why his latest patient (Dan Hedaya) was suffering from sudden bouts of blindness.

In the end, though, this was a grim episode and not always an easy one for me to watch.  Honestly, if I had been a nurse or a doctor at that hospital, I would have walked as soon as it became apparent that the Ski Mask Rapist was someone inside the building.  I would have gone home and refused to come back until they caught the guy.

Kathy saw Peter’s face as he attacked her.  I fear what’s waiting for me on next week’s episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.13 “A Mother’s Love”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark is abandoned in the park.

Episode 4.13 “A Mother’s Love”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 6th, 1988)

It’s time for Jonathan and Mark to start a new assignment!  This week, Jonathan gets to be a teacher (again!) and Mark gets to be …. homeless.

Seriously, Mark is dropped off in the park and told to live there.  Eventually, Jonathan shows up and gives Mark a tent and some cooking supplies.  That was nice of him but still, you have to wonder why Mark always seems to get assignments that are designed to aggravate him.  “Thanks for giving up your independence to work with my angel,” the show’s version of God seems to be saying, “Now, here …. go live in the park.”

Also living in the park are four brothers whose mother has recently died.  They’re living in a van and are trying to not get sent to foster care.  Fortunately, there’s a teacher at Jonathan’s new school who regrets that she never had a family.  Guess who is going to end up adopting four kids!

This was pretty much the epitome of Highway to Heaven, sweet-natured, sentimental, shamelessly manipulative, and so earnest that it worked even when it shouldn’t have.  That said, I hope Jonathan will put a good word in for Mark.  The guy deserves at least one easy week!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.3 “The Phoner”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey help to stop an obscene phone caller.

Episode 1.3 “The Phoner”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on October 28th, 1957)

Betty Hodges (Pat Englund) has been getting obscene phone calls.  It’s the 1950s.  That means there’s no caller ID, there’s no cell towers to ping signals off of, there’s no way to block a number, the phone rings until its answered, and every call is made and taken on a landline phone.  This is the era when most calls were still connected by an operator.  Terrified of the calls but determined not to be chased out of the city like so many other young women who have targeted by the so-called Phoner, Betty calls the police.  Casey (Beverly Garland) moves in with Betty, pretending to be her sister.  When the phone rings, it’s Casey who will answer and it’s Casey who will have to keep the guy talking for five minutes while the phone company traces the call.

We don’t ever learn the name of the man making the calls.  In the credits, he’s listed as the Phoner.  Played by Frank Sutton, the Phoner is a sweaty man who makes his calls from a phone booth and who brags about how many girlfriends he claims to have  had.  (He’s the 50s version of an incel.)  We’re told that he says disturbingly obscene things over the phone but, this being a 50s show, we don’t hear any of them.  Of course, we don’t have to hear them.  Betty’s terrified reactions are all we need to see.

Eventually, Betty is attacked leaving work.  She stumbles out of an alley, her face beaten and her clothes torn.  And again, it’s the 50s.  So all we hear is that Betty has been attacked but anyone watching would understand what had happened.  In the hospital, Betty whispers to Casey.  When Casey is asked what Betty said, Casey replies, “She wishes she was dead.”

Eventually, the Phoner calls Casey back.  They set up a date in the park.  The Phoner doesn’t show up at the park but he does show up at the apartment later.  After a struggle, he’s subdued by Casey and the other cops watching the apartment.  Even though common sense tells the viewer that nothing too bad is going to happen to the show’s lead character, it’s still a tense scene, largely because of Frank Sutton’s feral performance as the Phoner.

This is a poignant episode, even if it did obviously have to hold back due to the censorship rules of the time.  Just as frightening as Sutton was as the Phoner, Garland was equally impressive as the determined Casey.  If I did have any problem with this episode, it’s that when she’s initially confronted by the Phoner, Casey doesn’t recognize his voice.  When a man threatens you, you never forget the voice.

This was a good episode.  Hopefully, the Phoner died in prison.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Larry can’t read!

Episode 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 20th, 1985)

Larry, a veteran wide receiver on the Bulls, is informed that this will be his final season.  He’s played ten years and he’s given his heart to the game.  With his reputation for pulling pranks, he’s a popular guy in the locker room.  But, the time has come for Larry to move on.  Diane arranges for Larry to have a job interview with a PR firm.  Larry doesn’t show up for the interview.

“I can’t read!” Larry says when Diane confronts him.

“You’re a college graduate!” Diane exclaimed.

“I majored in football!” Larry replies.

What a sad story!  That said, it’s one that seems to happen a lot in real life.  As long as the plays are being made on the field, many colleges don’t worry about whether or not their players are graduating with the skills to earn a living once they stop playing.  Of course, as far as this show is concerned, the story would have been even sadder if we had ever seen or heard about Larry before this episode.  Seriously, Larry pops up out of nowhere and the viewer is just expected to act as if he’s been there the entire time.

At the end of the episode, Larry catches a game-winning pass and ensures the Bulls will be going to the playoffs.  Yay!  Larry also reveals to Diane that he’s enrolled in a course to learn how to read.  Yay again!  “Some of the guys in there are even older than me,” Larry says.

Meanwhile, the Arcola brothers are threatening to kill Roger again.  Roger has been pimping out two of the cheerleaders to members of the Arcola Crime Family.  Ruta fires one of the cheerleader and the other decides that she no longer wants to be treated like a prostitute.  Good for her!  Again, this is a storyline that would have been very effective if not for the fact that we’ve never seen these cheerleaders before.  One gets the feeling that the main cast wanted a week off so production came up with a collection of new characters to center the show around.

Next week — who knows?  I assume some football will be played.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romnace”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 22nd, 1983)

As usual, this episode has three stories.  However, this week, only one of the stories really works.

Dr. Elliott Norton (James Noble) attended medical school with Doc.  He is a world-renowned surgeon who has written a best-selling book and, as soon as he boards the boat, ol’ Doc Bricker starts to feel insecure.  It’s easy to see why.  Dr. Norton performs life-saving surgery on a daily basis.  Doc Bricker helps people recover from severe sun tan.  The fact that everyone on board wants Norton’s autograph doesn’t help.  Vicki is supposed to be writing a report on Doc but even Doc is like, “You should probably do it on Elliott.”

However, when a little girl (played by Tori Spelling, in what must have been one of the first roles that Aaron Spelling demanded she be cast in) asks Doc to diagnose what’s wrong with her doll, Bricker quickly figures out that both the doll and the girl are depressed because they’re not spending enough time with their father.  Norton may be getting the groupies but Doc Bricker gets invited to a tea party with the girl, her father, and the doll.

I’m sorry, are you smirking?

Okay, it is pretty silly.  Normally, I would smirk too but you know what?  Bernie Kopell really makes this story work.  In many ways, Doctor Adam Bricker was a bit of silly character, a supposed swinger who always came across as being rather mild-mannered and kind of conservative.  But Bernie Kopell was so likable in the role that it didn’t matter that the character often didn’t make much sense.  In this episode, Kopell does such a good job of playing up the character’s insecurities and regrets that my heart actually broke for the poor guy.  Was the tea party silly?  Yes.  But I still cheered when he was invited.

As for the other two stories, one featured Raymond St. Jacques and Theresa Merritt playing an elderly couple who were living together without being married.  Their children (played Brian Stokes Mitchell and Thelma Hopkins) were scandalized!  It was pretty boring.  The children weren’t particularly likable so I was kind of hoping the parents would just toss them overboard.

The final story …. I don’t even know how to describe it other than to say it was dumb.  Ross (Alan Young) wants to impress Kathy (Holland Taylor) and keep her from running off with Bob (Adam West, who was severely underused).  So, Ross builds a fake bomb, hides it in the engine room, pretends to discover it, and then defuses it while Kathy watches.  I mean, how am I supposed to care about someone who would do something that stupid?  And then, when Ross confesses the truth to her, Kathy laughs it off and forgives him.  I mean, it seems like he’s an obvious sociopath to me.  Run, Kathy, run!

This was an uneven episode but seriously, the story with Doc Bricker got to me.  This show was very lucky to have Bernie Kopell.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.19 “Lost and Found”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike cops screw up another case.

Episode 2.19 “Lost and Found”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on March 2nd, 1997)

I’ve often felt that the most interesting thing about Pacific Blue is witnessing just how totally incompetent the bicycle cops really are.

This episode centers around a girl who has run away from home.  Chris and Palermo are holding her at the station and they release her to the first guy who shows up claiming to be her father.  They don’t bother to ask the man for any sort of proof that he’s her father.  They don’t even ask to see his ID.  Instead, they just let her go with him.

Guess what?  That guy wasn’t her father!

Her actual father shows up a little while later and, needless to say, he’s pretty pissed off.  Instead of apologizing or in any way accepting accountability for screwing up, Palermo and Chris snap at the guy to calm down and then say that they’ll track down his daughter.  What’s funny is that we’re supposed to be on the side of the bicycle cops because the father is angry and yelling.  Well, the father has every right to be angry and yelling.  THE IDIOTS LET HIS RUNAWAY DAUGHTER LEAVE WITH THE FIRST GUY WHO SHOWED UP!

Now, the show later reveals that the father was abusive and that his daughter ran way because he was beating her.  Yeah, he’s not a good father and he should lost custody of his daughter.  That doesn’t make the bicycle cops any less incompetent, though!  It just amuses that this show continually tries to convince us that we should take these people seriously as cops but every episode seems to feature them making some sort of terrible mistake.  This show really seems to think that, as long as Chris is shooting people the death glare, that means she’s not responsible for any of her screwups.

This episode also featured a subplot in which Cory tried to protect her no-good brother from some hitmen.  She did a better job with her storyline than Chris and Palermo did with the case of the runaway.  Maybe Cory should be in charge.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.9 “Fantasy Island Girl/Saturday’s Child”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, we have two fantasies that seem very familiar.

Episode 7.9 “Fantasy Island Girl/Saturday’s Child”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on December 10th, 1983)

Actress Marion Sommers (Stella Stevens) comes to the Island.  Lawrence is a huge fan and can’t imagine what fantasy she could possibly have.  Roarke explains that Marion wants to be reunited with her children.  The twist is that her children don’t know that Marion is their mother.  They think that their mother died and that they were adopted by Fran Woods (Diane Baker).

Marion is told that, because of the way she phrased her fantasy, she’ll get to meet her children on the island but she can’t tell them that she’s their mother.  The children have spent the last few years with Ms. Woods as their mother.  Marion agrees but she doesn’t keep her word and, by the end of her fantasy, she’s told both Bill (David Kaufman) and Ellie (Amy Linker) that she is their mother and that she wants them to come with her.  Bill and Ellie reject her, saying that Ms. Woods will always be their mother.  However, they would like it if Marion would be their friend.

Lawrence asks Marion to give him her autograph so he can give it to his niece.  Then, after Marion leaves, Lawrence tells Roarke that he doesn’t have a niece….

This fantasy seemed awfully familiar.  I don’t really have the time to go back and reread every Fantasy Island review that I’ve written but I’m pretty sure that this show has already gone to the “I’m  a famous actress who wants to meet the children that I gave up” well more than a few times.  In this case, it just felt like everyone was going through the motions.

As for the other fantasy, it involved the Fantasy Island Girl Beauty Pageant and, again, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen several versions of this pageant fantasy in the past.  This time, it’s the pageant’s producer, Nick Gleason (Paul Burke), who has a fantasy.  It seems that Nick has a reputation for fixing his pageants so his fantasy is to run a totally “clean” and honest pageant.  It seems like he could have just done that on his own without even having to go to Fantasy Island.  Since when have fantasies become about doing things that most people would just do naturally?

Nick’s daughter, Tina (Audrey Landers), enters the pageant and suddenly, Nick finds himself tempted to fix the pageant for her.  When Roarke explains this to Tina, Tina withdraws from the pageant and Nick doesn’t fix the pageant.  Nick is so happy that he finally put on a honest pageant but the only reason he didn’t fix the pageant was because Tina dropped out.  If she hadn’t dropped out, he totally would have rigged it.  So, I’m not really sure that Nick has anything to brag about.  It’s kind of like bragging about not robbing a bank because it was closed on Sunday.

Lawrence is appointed as one of the judges for the beauty pageant.  You know who really enjoyed beauty pageants?  Tattoo.  This would have been a fun fantasy for Tattoo.  Instead, we just get Lawrence looking all huffy and puffy.

The trip to the Island was no fantasy.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.12 “Home Fires Burning”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

It’s arson and basketball on CHiPs!

Episode 4.12 “Home Fires Burning”

(Dir by Charles Bail, originally aired on February 1st, 1981)

Two arsonists (David Hayward and Michael Cavanugh) are setting RVs on fire as a part of an insurance scam.  One man (Jack Kruschen) who hires the arsonists is horrified when their carelessness leads to a security guard getting seriously injured.  If the guard dies, the man is looking at serious jail time!  (Luckily, the guard doesn’t die and apparently, everyone just forgets about sending his boss to jail.)

Luckily, Baker is there to help track the arsonists down.  Ponch, on the other hand, is busy putting together a Highway Patrol basketball team.  It’s hard not to notice how much time the Highway Patrol spends on stuff like basketball, dirt bike competitions, and drag car racing.  Somehow, Ponch has gone from being the department’s screw-up to now being the guy who is automatically given all of the responsibility.  It’s the Ponch Show and everyone knows it.

This episode was directed by veteran stuntman Charles Bail and it does have some spectacular stunts.  (A car jumping through an exploding RV was my favorite.)  And let’s be honest.  I could sit here and spend hours talking about CHiPs became the Ponch Show during the fourth season and how the rest of the cast was underutilized.  And I would be totally correct.  But the stunts and the car crashes are the main appeal of this show and this episode featured several examples of each.

As such, this was a good episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.19 “Blood & Roses”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Gina’s in trouble again!

Episode 4.19 “Blood & Roses”

(Dir by George Mendeluk, originally aired on April 1st, 1988)

Frank Mosca (Stanley Tucci) is back!

In case you’ve forgotten, Mosca was the villain from the fourth season premiere, Contempt of Court.  That episode ended with Mosca getting away with everything.  This episode finds him killing a rival drug lord (Michael Wincott) and trying to kill Crockett.  Because Mosca knows who Crockett and Tubbs are, it falls on Gina to go undercover.  This becomes yet another episode where Gina starts to fall for the bad guy and ends up having sex with the target of a Vice investigation.  As often happens with these type of episodes, Gina ends up shooting Mosca to keep him from shooting Sonny.  Mosca’s body plummets down an air shaft and it’s hard not to notice that Stanley Tucci has suddenly become a mannequin with painted hair.

Stanley Tucci gave a magnetic performance as the charismatic but evil Frank Mosca.  Watching Tucci, it’s easy to see why the show brought him but Mosca was such a memorable character that it’s shame that he was given a standard Miami Vice death scene.  Mosca deserved to go out with a bit more style.  Saundra Santiago gave a good performance as Gina but it’s hard not to notice that every time she’s at the center of an episode, it’s pretty much the same basic plot.  As a character, Gina deserved better than to constantly be used as a sex toy by every bad guy she went undercover to investigate.

Watching this episode, I found myself wondering if the show’s writers remembered that Crockett was supposed to be married.  Between his jealousy over Gina getting close to Mosco and a scene where he and Gina shared a brief but intense kiss, it was hard not to notice that Crockett didn’t seem to be thinking about his wife.  Perhaps this episode was originally meant to air earlier in the season, before Crockett’s somewhat improbable wedding.  Who knows?  It’s been a while since anyone asked Crockett about Caitlin.  Maybe they got a quickie divorce offscreen.

This episode was typical of season 4.  It was well-made but everything just felt a bit too familiar. to be effective.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 1.4 “Eye of the Beholder”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Emma meets Sean.

Episode 1.4 “Eye of the Beholder”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on April 8th, 2002)

It’s time for the first Degrassi school dance of the year!  Ashley is superexcited because she was able to talk Mr. Raditch into letting her throw a night dance.  Unfortunately, that means that Manny’s parents will not allow her to go to the dance.  With Toby and JT planning on staying at Toby’s to look at porn while Toby’s parents are out of the house, that means Emma will have to go to the dance all by herself!  Emma is mad.  Then again, Emma is always mad.

Meanwhile, a new student has shown up at school.  He briefly went to the school last term but his family moved up north.  Now, he’s back in Toronto and living with his brother and returning to Degrassi.  He’s also having to repeat Grade 7, something that Jimmy mocks him for.  He’s …. SEAN CAMERON!

Yes, this is the episode the introduces Daniel Clark as Sean Cameron.  Sean would go on to become one the most important characters during the classic seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation.  A sensitive juvenile delinquent who alternated between being a brooding rebel and a petty criminal,  Sean is best-remembered for eventually dating Emma Nelson but it’s often forgotten that he also dated the supercool Ellie Nash.  I’ve always preferred Ellie/Sean to Emma/Sean but I’m getting ahead of myself.  That’s all in the future.

What’s important for this episode is that Sean also goes to the dance by himself.  And when Jimmy continues to give him a hard time, Sean grabs him and prepares to beat up on him like Kendrick Lamar preparing to drop another diss track.  With Mr. Raditch approaching, Emma cools off the situation by asking Sean to dance.

In the episode’s other main storyline, Terri is shocked when Spinner asks her to the dance.  Paige is shocked as well.  With the overweight Terri feeling insecure (it’s her first date — ever!), Paige helps matters by telling Terri she should have some sherry to calm her nerves.  Soon, Terri is drunk and, by the time she and Paige make it to the dance, she’s a giggly mess.  Long story short: Terri gets sick after one dance with Spinner and, the next morning, it’s clear that Spinner is now dating Paige.  This is another case where it’s hard to watch this storyline unfold without considering the future.  Paige and Spinner are not only destined to become a classic Degrassi couple but, ultimately, Paige is going to become a better friend to Terri than Ashley ever was.  Eventually, Terri will get her first boyfriend.  Of course, he’s going to turn out to be a complete psycho who, after putting Terri in a coma, will end up shooting up the school in a totally separate episode and putting Jimmy in a wheelchair.  Agck!  Seriously, these students have no idea what’s waiting for them in the future.

Finally, Toby and JT get caught looking at porn.  Toby’s parents then force them to look at more porn and discuss how it objectifies both men and women.  When Toby tells Manny and Emma about it, Manny and Emma both chime in with “Losers.”  Yep, that about sums it up.

The main problem with this episode is that I never really bought Spinner asking Terri to the dance.  It’s not because Terri’s fat.  (Spinner wasn’t exactly skinny himself in these early episodes.)  Instead, it’s just that Spinner and Terri really didn’t have much chemistry.  Even in this very early episode, Spinner and Paige just seemed to belong together.  Still, the most important thing is that Sean Cameron has arrived and Degrassi will never be the same.