Gary Carlos Cervantes | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter searches for a pigeon.

Episode 1.6 “Flight of the Dead Pigeon”

(Dir by Michael Preece, originally aired on November 9th, 1984)

When a little girl (Marissa Mendenhall) shows up at the police station and asks for Hunter’s help in finding her stolen carrier pigeons, Hunter’s like, “Buzz off, kid!” However, when it turns out that the girl’s uncle was a degenerate gambler and that he was thrown off the roof of a building by the mob, Hunter and McCall get involved. It turns out that the Mexican cartels want to use the pigeons to carry drugs into America. Because the little girl is the only one who knows how to train the pigeons, they want to kidnap her as well….

Yeah, this was a pretty dumb episode. I don’t doubt that pigeons could be used to smuggle drugs but I do doubt that any successful criminal organization would go through all the trouble that they go to in this episode. There are far simpler ways to smuggle drugs. I’m also sure they could have found someone to train the pigeons without abducting a child. Hunter and McCall are able to rescue the girl and the episode ends with her smiling cheerfully as she’s sent into foster care.

“Hunter,” McCall asks, “have you ever wanted kids?”

“Nope,” Hunter replies.

“Me neither,” McCall says, not sounding particularly convincing.

What a sad ending! Seriously, if Hunter and McCall aren’t married by the end of this series, I will throw a fit. They’re totally meant for each other. Even in a kind of dumb episode like this one, their chemistry saves the day.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Victory’s yours …. for that taking….

Ugh, let’s do this.

Episode 2.5 “California Freeze Out”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 22nd, 1986)

Training camp continues!

Oh, Good Lord, does it continue.

And look, I get it. This was a low-budget show that relied on stock footage for the majority of its game footage. There was probably only so much footage available. Not every episode could feature a game. And training camp is an important part of football and I’m sure that, back in 1986, HBO was proud of that set they built for the ugly bar where all the players hang out. It’s not a bad set. You look at it and you can literally smell the rancid combination of sweat and urine that seems to follow most male athletes.

But seriously …. I’M TIRED OF TRAINING CAMP! Its time to move on!

As for this episode …. hey, Waldren is already back from rehab and he’s clean! That was quick. However, shady quarterback Johnny Valentine continues to hang out with drug dealers and Waldren gives into temptation. He ends up at a raucous drug party that’s busted by the cops. Waldren jumps out of a window. His date is accidentally shot. You might think that Johnny Valentine would be in trouble considering how anti-drug the league has become but it turns out that Johnny is a star and busting him would effect ad revenue. So, Johnny gets off scot-free.

Meanwhile, O.J. Simpson — whoops, sorry, I meant to say T.D. Parker, don’t hurt me, Vengeful Spirit of O.J. — recruits a young player named Rick Lambert (Marcus Allen) to be the team’s new running back. Marcus Allen gave such a stiff performance that I immediately realized that he had to have been an actual player and it turns out that I was right. You can always tell the actual players because they’re the ones who can never summon up any emotion when they stumble through their lines. O.J. was the epitome of a player who became a bad actor but he came across as being …. well, not quite Olivier but maybe David Niven, while acting opposite Marcus Allen. Maybe that’s why Allen was added to the cast, to make O.J. look good.

Anyway, here’s hoping that O.J. and the rest of the Bulls slash their way out of training camp soon!