Brad reviews SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT (1989), starring David Carradine and Bruce Campbell!

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Bradley Crain

In honor of Bruce Campbell’s 67th birthday, I decided to watch a movie he’s featured in that I’ve never seen before. I thought the horror-comedy SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT looked like it might be fun so I went for it!

In the desert town of Purgatory, a colony of vampires led by Count Mardulak (David Carradine) want to live in peace, abstaining from human blood, and instead, drinking a blood substitute called “Necktarine,” which is produced in a local factory. They also use high powered sunscreen that allows them to go out in the day time as long as they wear thick sunglasses, big hats or umbrellas, and gloves. Unfortunately, the blood factory begins experiencing production issues, so Mardulak asks David Harrison (Jim Metzler), the unsuspecting human who designed the production process, to come to town and fix their problems. Harrison brings his family with him, including his wife Sarah (Morgan Brittany), and their two daughters. The Harrison family soon find themselves in the middle of an other worldly war as Jefferson (John Ireland) and Shane (Maxwell Caulfied), rebellious local vampires, plot to overthrow Mardulak so they can return to their murderous ways. Meanwhile, Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell), the great grandson of the famed vampire hunter, walks into town, ready to romance the local vampire beauty Sandy (Deborah Foreman) and drive stakes into the hearts of as many bloodsucking freaks as possible!

As far as I’m concerned, SUNDOWN is a blast as a completely absurd horror-comedy that puts an interesting spin on traditional vampire legend, with its endless sunscreen slathering and a growing local weariness over “Necktarine” adding to the good times. It’s campy and silly, with purposely terrible stop motion bat effects, over-the-top family drama, and lots of cheesy one-liners, but of course that’s all part of the charm.

The B-movie dream cast is what I enjoyed the most about SUNDOWN. David Carradine plays it pretty straight as the town leader Count Mardulak, which is effective when you consider all of the craziness going on around him. Bruce Campbell, and his mustache, steals all of his scenes with his goofy charm and misguided heroics. And, of course, the inimitable M. Emmet Walsh is perfect as old man Mort, a vampire who loses his temper and beheads a disrespectful city slicker. He just can’t help himself. Throw in other veteran character actors like Bert Remsen and John Ireland and it’s easy to enjoy the movie no matter how silly it all gets.

On a personal note, I did want to point out a couple of performances in SUNDOWN that have Arkansas connections. First, Jim Metzler had a solid part a couple of years after this movie in the crime thriller ONE FALSE MOVE (1991), which was co-written by Billy Bob Thornton and partially filmed in Eastern Arkansas. It’s a great movie and Metzler is good in it. Second, Elizabeth Gracen has a small part in the film. Gracen, whose actual name is Elizabeth Ward, won the title of Miss Arkansas in 1981 and then went on to win Miss America in 1982. My uncle Billy was her hair stylist as she made her run to beauty pageant immortality. Other notable Gracen life events include her affair with Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton in 1983, her appearance in Steven Seagal’s MARKED FOR DEATH in 1990, and her Playboy spread in 1992. Interestingly, 18 years old at the time, I saw the layout when my girlfriend’s mom bought the issue and let me look at it!

Overall, SUNDOWN lets us know right off the bat the kind of absurd movie we’re dealing with, so you’ll either be into it or want to just move on. I was into it, mainly due to its strong cast. It’s not perfect, and it overstays its welcome by a good 15 minutes, but SUNDOWN is a fun watch for fans of silly horror-comedies and the excellent cast. I had a great time with it!

Electric Dreams (1984, directed by Steve Barron)

Posted on February 14, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Electric Dreams is a film about a love triangle between a man, his neighbor, and his personal computer.

Miles (Lenny Von Dohlen) is an architect who wants to develop a special brick that can withstand earthquakes. One of his colleagues suggests that he buy something called a — let me check my notes to make sure I got it right — com-put-er. Apparently, computers can do anything! Miles is skeptical but he decides to give it a try.

(In all fairness, this movie came out at a time when there were no iPhones or even laptops and personal computers were viewed as being strange and exotic. )

Miles get his computer and it’s basically one of those boxy computers that used to populate computer labs in high schools across the country. As soon as I saw the computer, I wanted to play Oregon Trail. After the computer overheats and Miles tries to cool it down by pouring champagne on it (!), the computer comes to life. Now voiced by Burt Cort, the computer develops a crush on Mile’s neighbor, a cellist named Madeleine (Virginia Madsen). The computer hears Madeleine playing her cello and composes its own music to play with her. Madeleine hears the music and assumes that Miles must be a great composer. Soon, Miles and Madeleine are falling in love and the computer is getting jealous. The computer composes more more music for Miles but grows angry when Miles doesn’t give the computer any credit. Even though the computer can’t move from the desk and has to be plugged in to work, it still manages to wreck havoc with Miles’s life. When this movie came out, the idea of someone’s entire life being electronically monitored and recorded probably seemed like an out-there idea. Today, that’s just a normal Tuesday for most people.

Electric Dreams is a mix of romance, comedy, and science fiction. The scenes of Miles and Madeleine falling in love are mixed with scenes of the computer basically having a nervous breakdown and conspiring to ruin Miles’s credit and even trap him in his apartment. Electric Dreams is probably the most good-natured film ever made about a computer run amuck. The computer doesn’t mean to hurt anyone, it’s just jealous and feeling neglected. It’s a weird mix but the movie is so dedicated to its premise and Lenny Von Dohlen and Virginia Madsen are so appealing as the romantic leads that it works. Electric Dreams proves that true love can conquer all, even in the Computer Age.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.4 “Cellmates”

Posted on January 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

It’s Rex Manning Day on Monsters!

Episode 3.4 “Cellmates”

(Dir by Stephen Tolkin, originally aired on October 21st, 1990)

Timothy Danforth (Maxwell Caulfield) is a rich American kid who has gotten in trouble while visiting Mexico. He was arrested after hitting a kid with his car and then punching out the kid’s father, who just happened to be a cop. After Danforth was arrested, the cops looked inside his car and found a lot of drugs. Convinced (perhaps correctly) that Danforth is a drug dealer and a smuggler, the cops promptly toss him into a filthy jail cell.

The cocky Danforth is convinced that his father will soon free him from the prison. However, in the next cell, an old man (Ferdy Mayne) says that Danforth has been tossed into a special cell. It’s a cell that is reserved for the worst of the worst. The Old Man says that no one ever leaves the cell. At first, Danforth laughs off the old man’s claims but, at night, the Old Man dissolves into a puddle of liquid that enters Danforth’s cells and attempts to attack him. Danforth survives but when he tells his lawyer and his jailers about what happened, the authorities respond by chaining Danforth to a wall, leaving Danforth at the mercy of the Old Man.

It’s a pretty good thing that Danforth is such an unlikable and downright loathsome character because, otherwise, this would be a really disturbing episode. Instead, Danforth is a stereotypical rich kid who thinks that he can get away with anything and that the rules don’t apply to him. He shows no remorse about having hit a kid with his car. He’s cocky and arrogant from the minute we see him. He’s exactly the kind of guy who gives Americans abroad a bad name. In the end, it’s hard not to feel that he really doesn’t have anyone but himself to blame for his predicament. He’s a victim of his own very bad choices and he’s so confident that he’s untouchable that his final fate feels like karma.

This is a pretty simple episode. A bad guy falls victims to his own stupidity. There’s nothing likable about Timothy Danforth, though Maxwell Caulfield certainly does a good job in the role. Caulfield plays Danforth as being an incredibly spoiled brat, someone who has never been held responsible for his actions and who can’t believe that he’s actually in real trouble. Surprisingly, Caulfield almost gets you to feel sorry for Danforth at the end of the episode. Danforth really had no idea what he was getting himself involved with. That said, in the end, bad decisions are bad decisions and Danforth has no one to blame but himself.

This was an effective episode, with a lot of atmosphere and a good performance from Maxwell Caulfield. So far, Season 3 of Monsters is off to a good start.

Guilty Pleasure No. 71: Submerged (dir by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on October 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

THUNDERSTRIKE!

Listen, if you’re going to watch the 2000 film Submerged, you better be a big fan of the term “Thunderstrike,” because it’s repeated so many times that one gets the feeling that the actors just loved saying it.

Thunderstrike is a satellite that was built by western businessman Buck Stevens (Dennis Weaver). He and his daughter (Nicole Eggert) and her sort-of boyfriend (Hannes Jaenicke) are all flying to Hawaii so that they can conduct more tests on the Thunderstrike. However, arms dealer Owen Cantrell (Tim Thomerson) wants the Thunderstrike for himself so he sends a mercenary named Jeff Cort (Coolio. Yes, Coolio.) to steal the plans from the airplane. The plan is to kill the pilot, substitute a new pilot, and then crash the plane into the ocean …. which is pretty much what happens, despite the best efforts of heroic CIA agent, Rex Manning (Maxwell Caulfield).

Actually, wait a minute. Maxwell Caulfield’s character is named Jim Carpenter. Well, I don’t care. He’ll always be Rex Manning to me!

While Special Agent Mack Taylor (Brent Huff) tries to stop Cantrell from stealing the Thunderstrike, Captain Masters (Fred Williamson) tries to figure out a way to bring the plane to the surface.

If this sound familiar, it’s because Submerged has the same plot as Airport ’77.

If it looks familiar, it’s because Submerged lifts a lot of footage from Airport ’77, including the scene where the plane crashes, the scene where the plane settles on the ocean floor, and the scene where the plane is lifted off the ocean floor. Even a scene of water pouring into plane is lifted from Airport ’77, which means that the plane in Submerged suddenly has a staircase that no one apparently noticed before.

Submerged was directed by the wonderful Fred Olen Ray and seriously, how can you not love it? Between the cast and the fact that it features all of the best parts of Airport ’77, this is a film for which the term guilty Ppeasure was invented! It helps that the cast, for whatever reason, appears to be taking the film rather seriously. This film was Dennis Weaver’s final screen appearance and he seems to be having a ball playing a cheerful good old boy who can’t wait to put a dangerous satellite in the sky.

Plus, the film features Rex Manning!

Plus, Jack Deth!

Plus, Black Caesar!

Plus …. THUNDERSTRIKE!

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Prey of the Jaguar (1996, directed by David DeCoteau)

Posted on January 3, 2023 by Jedadiah Leland

Derek Leigh (Maxwell Caulfield) is a former Special Ops agent whose son and wife are killed by a drug lord (Trevor Goddard) than Leigh helped to put behind bars. Inspired by his dead son’s love of super heroes, Leigh puts on a purple rubber suit and learns karate from Master Yee (John Fujioka) while The Toymaker (Paul Bartel) supplies him with an arsenal of weapons. Calling himself the Jaguar, Leigh goes after the men who killed his family.

Caulfield wears an obviously fake mustache for the first half of the film so that he can shave it off when he becomes The Jaguar. The camera never stops spinning around. Most of the fights look fake and the exterior of Derek’s house changes from shot-to-shot. Stacy Keach plays a high-ranking government official but doesn’t bother to get a haircut or hide his pony tail. Linda Blair plays a cop and sounds like she sucked helium before filming her lines. I’m not sure what she was doing in the movie. She may not have been sure either. Prey of the Jaguar is a reminder of just how cheap and cruddy most super hero films were before Marvel took over Hollywood. Of course, Derek doesn’t really have any super powers, beyond getting proficient at martial arts in record time. He is just wearing the outfit to honor the spirit of his dead son. That actually makes more sense than most of the Marvel origin stories. The movie itself was too cheap to work and the actors were so disinterested that they seemed to actively be trying to make sure that there would never be a Prey of the Jaguar 2.

The most interesting thing about the film are the opening credits, which reveal that this film was executive producer by the Wolf of Wall Street himself, Jordan Belfort.

Back to School Part II #31: Empire Records (dir by Allan Moyle)

Posted on September 10, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1995 film, Empire Records takes place in a fictional record store. The store is located in a state called Delaware, which I’m pretty sure is fictional as well. (Have you ever actually met anyone from Delaware? And don’t say Joe Biden because we all know he’s just a hologram…) Empire Records is a beloved institution, an independent record shop that’s as well-known for its lively employees as its amazing selection of music!

However, things are not perfect in the world of Empire Records. The store is owned by a heartless businessman named Mitchell (Ben Bode). Mitchell hates Empire Records and usually just lets the store manager, former drummer and Scott Stapp-lookalike Joe (Anthony LaPaglia), run the place. However, Mitchell has decided to sell Empire Records to the soulless and corporate Music Town franchise. Oh my God! If Empire Records becomes a Music Town, the employees will have to wear orange aprons! They won’t be allowed to wear anything too revealing or have any visible piercings! And nobody will be allowed to dance in the aisles!

Over the course of just one day, can the staff of Empire Records find a way to save their store!?

It would be easier if not for the fact that a hundred other things happen over the course of that same day. A shoplifter (Brendan Sexton III, who co-starred in the very different Welcome to the Dollhouse the same year that he appeared here) keeps trying to steal stuff and, at one point, he even shows up at the store with a gun! Is it possible that he just wants to join the Empire Records family and is just hoping that he’ll be offered a job?

And then there’s Rex Manning! That’s right — it’s Rex Manning Day! Who is Rex Manning? Well, he used to star on a show called The Family Way and his nickname is Sexy Rexy. He has truly memorable hair. Middle-aged people love him but most young people think that he’s a joke. Rex is going to signing copies of his latest album at Empire Records and you better believe that he’s brought blue cheese salad dressing with him. There’s a reason they call him Sexy Rexy and it’s not just that Rex Harrison is no longer around to object. Rex is played by Maxwell Caulfield. Caulfield steals every scene that he appears in and it’s hard not to feel that he’s playing a version of who he could have become if Grease 2 hadn’t bombed at the box office.

And, of course, all the members of Empire Records staff have their own personal problems to deal with. Fortunately, since this is a breezy and comedic movie, nobody has problem that can’t be solved within ten to fifteen minutes.

For instance, Debra (Robin Tunney) is suicidal and shows up for work with a big bandage on her wrist. After clocking in, she promptly shaves her head. Debra is depressed and troubled but guess what? All she needs is for her friends to hold a mock funeral in the break room. (And who is taking care of the customers while everyone else is eulogizing Debra? Probably Andre but we’ll talk more about him in a moment…)

Berko (Coyote Shivers) appears to be Debra’s boyfriend but he doesn’t seem to be that good of a boyfriend. Berko’s a musician and he wants to make it big. Solution to his problem: an impromptu concert on the roof of Empire Records! And you know what? Coyote Shivers was not the world’s best actor but the song he performs, Sugar High, will stay in your head long after you hear it.

Eddie (James ‘Kimo’ Williams) has no problems, probably because he also works at a pizza place and he makes the best brownies in the world. Except, they’re not ordinary brownies … hint hint hint….

Mark (Ethan Embry) only has one problem: his character, as written, is pretty much interchangeable with Eddie’s. But, fortunately, Embry gives such a totally weird performance that you never forget who he is.

Lucas (Rory Cochrane) tried to help Joe out by taking the previous night’s cash receipts to Atlantic City. Lucas, however, is not a very good gambler and ends up losing all of the money at the result of one roll of the dice. Lucas’s problem is that Joe is going to kill him. The solution is to spend almost the entire movie sitting on the break room couch and making snarky comments.

Gina’s problem is that everyone thinks that she’s a slut, mostly because that’s how the character is written. Fortunately, Gina is played by Renee Zellweger and she brings a lot of depth to an otherwise underwritten role. One of the film’s best moments is when Gina and Berko perform together because Zellweger really throws herself into the song. Watching that scene always makes me want to sing along with them. It’s funny that Zellweger has even a stronger Texas accent than I do and yet, she can really sing while I mostly certainly cannot.

Then there’s Andre! Andre’s problem is that he ends up getting cut out of the film. However, he’s still listed in the credits, which is how we know that he was played by Tobey Maguire.

A.J. (Johnny Whitworth) is an artist. How can you not love a struggling artist? His problem is that he’s in love with Corey (Liv Tyler) but Corey is obsessed with losing her virginity to Rex Manning.

Actually, that’s not the only problem that Corey has. Corey, who is in high school but has recently been accepted to Harvard, is a driven overachiever. Occasionally, we see her popping a pill. Oh my God, is she using speed!? Of course. she is. How else is she going to be able to both study late and maintain her figure? If I don’t seem too concerned about Corey’s pills, it’s because I pretty much take the same thing to keep my ADD under control. They’ve worked wonders for me!

But not so much for Corey. In fact, they cause Corey to kinda freak out and attack a cut-out of Rex Manning. Fortunately, the solution to her drug problem is pretty simple. She just has to splash some water on her face.

As for her virginity problem, well … it is Rex Manning Day! Judging from this film and Stealing Beauty, it would appear that film goers in the mid-90s were obsessed with Liv Tyler losing her virginity.

Anyway, there are like a hundred overly critical things that I could say about Empire Records. I’ve seen this film a number of time and there are certain scenes that always make cringe — like Debra’s funeral or when Joe starts banging away on his drum set. A lot of the dialogue is overwritten and the whole things occasionally seems to be trying too hard.

And yet, I can’t dislike Empire Records. In fact, I actually really like it a lot. It’s just such an earnest and sincere movie that you can’t help but enjoy it. Meanwhile, the cast has so much energy and chemistry that they’re just fun to watch. This is one of those films where it’s best just to shut off your mind, say “Damn the man!,” and enjoy what you’re watching for what it is.

Add to that, I love that ending. Everyone dancing on top of the store? Perfect.

Back to School Part II #17: The Boys Next Door (dir by Penelope Spheeris)

Posted on September 2, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Three years after starring in Grease 2, Maxwell Caulfield starred in another (albeit far different) film about teenage delinquents, 1985’s The Boys Next Door. Directed by Penelope Spheeris (who also did Suburbia, another film about wayward youth), The Boys Next Door is a frequently harrowing film about a road trip gone very wrong.

The film opens with a series of black-and-white photographs of real-life serial killers, so you know what you’re about to get yourself into before the main action even begins. Caulfield plays Roy, a not-very-smart teenager who lives in an industrial town in the southwest. With his generally bad attitude and violent temper, Roy is one of the least popular kids at the local high school. In fact, his only friend appears to be Bo (Charlie Sheen). Bo is just as stupid as Roy but he’s not as violent. Bo’s problem is that he’s a follower, the type who is incapable of making his own decisions. If Roy says, “Let’s beat the Hell out of someone,” Bo is going to agree because … well, why not?

When Roy and Bo graduate from high school, they don’t have much more to look forward to than a life of working in a factory. After an angry Roy violently lashes out at a graduation party, he decides that he and Bo should get out of town. Fortunately, Bo has received $200 as a graduation gift. Roy and Bo decide to use that money to take a trip to Los Angeles.

On the way to L.A., it quickly becomes obvious that Roy is more than just an angry kid. When he and Bo rob a gas station, Roy savagely beats the attendant. When they get to Los Angeles, all Roy can talk about is how much he hates the city and everyone who lives in it. Roy is especially vocal about how much he hates anyone who he perceives as being gay…

Of course, even as Roy is loudly expressing every homophobic thought that pops into his tiny mind, it’s hard not to notice that he seems to be rather obsessed with Bo. In fact, he is so obsessed with Bo that he basically kills anyone who shows the least bit of interest in Bo. Paranoid that Bo is going to abandon him, Roy is willing to do anything to keep that from happening.

The Boys Next Door is one of those films that really took me by surprise. It may start and look like your typical low-budget thriller but The Boys Next Door ultimately reveals itself to be a disturbingly plausible portrait of a sociopath. The film suggests that, as individuals, both Roy and Bo are somewhat laughable but, as a team, they’re deadly. It’s no wonder that Roy is so insistent that Bo always stay with him because, without Bo around, Roy wouldn’t have any motivation to do anything. Everything that Roy does — from theft to murder — is largely to impress Bo. Unfortunately, Bo is too stupid to understand what’s going on in his friend’s head.

Especially when compared to some of the other performances that they are known for, both Sheen and Caulfield do surprisingly good work as the two murderers. Penelope Spheeris wisely directs the film as if it were a documentary and the end result is a harrowing film that deserves to be far better known.

Back to School Part II #14: Grease 2 (dir by Patricia Birch)

Posted on August 29, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, the whole reason that I watched Grease last week was so I would be prepared to watch the 1982 sequel Grease 2 over the weekend. As I’ve mentioned many times on this site, I absolutely hate Grease and I know what you’re probably asking yourself:

“But Lisa, if you hate Grease so much, why did you want to see Grease 2?”

Well, there’s a very good answer to that question but I’m not going to reveal it. I’m going to encourage you to learn to love the mystery. For whatever reason, I wanted to watch Grease 2. Perhaps it was because I’ve heard that Grease 2 is the worst sequel ever made. I really didn’t see how that was possible. How, I wondered, could a film be any worse than the original Grease?

And, so, I watched Grease 2 on Netflix and yes, it was really, really bad. But you know what? It was so bad that it became almost compulsively watchable. Unlike the first Grease, which is full of slow spots, Grease 2 is oddly exciting in its mediocrity. I watched much of it in open-mouthed horror, wondering if things could possibly get any worse. And, with each scene, it did get worse. It was so overwhelmingly and shamelessly bad and so thoroughly misguided that, strangely enough, I really want to rewatch it.

Grease 2 takes place in 1961. There’s a whole new gang of students at Rydell High! Well, actually, Frenchy (Didi Conn) has returned. You may remember that, in the previous film, Frenchy dropped out of high school and went to beauty school. (She was also visited by Satan, who came to her disguised as the Teen Angel.) But now Frenchy is back, trying to pass a chemistry class so she can … well, I’m not really sure what the whole deal with Frenchy was. I imagine that Didi Conn was probably free for a weekend.

The T-bird and the Pink Ladies are still around but they have a whole new membership. The head of the Pink Ladies is Stephanie Zinone (played, in her film debut, by Michelle Pfeiffer). Her boyfriend, Johnny Nogorelli (Adrian Zmed), is the chain-smoking leader of the T-birds. Actually, Johnny is now her ex-boyfriend. He cheated on her over the summer.

And there’s a new boy at Rydell! He’s originally from England and he’s Sandy’s cousin! His name is Michael Carrington (superhandsome Maxwell Caulfield, who is perhaps fated to always be best known for playing Rex Manning in Empire Records) and, when we first meet him, he’s getting off a school bus and he’s wearing a suit! Michael really likes Stephanie but you have to be a T-bird if you’re going to date a Pink Lady and…

AGCK!

Sorry, that was a primal scream. Trying to describe the plot of Grease 2 inspires a lot of primal screams.

Anyway, this is a film is also a musical but apparently, none of the original Grease composers were involved with the sequels. All the songs kinda sound like something you would hear in a parody of Grease, as opposed to a sequel. Also adding to bizarre feel of this sequel is that everyone delivers their lines as if they’re appearing in a stage production, projecting to the back of the theater and overenunciating every single syllable. This may have made sense for Grease, which was adapted from an actual stage show and, despite efforts to open up the action, was still deliberately stagey. Grease 2, meanwhile, is an adaptation of a stage show that never actually existed.

The film starts with a 7 minute production number called Back To School Again. As the Pink Ladies and the T-birds and all the other students show up outside of Rydell, they sing, “Woe is me! The Board of Education took away my parole.” And the scene just keeps going and going, until you start to wonder if Rydell High is a cult compound.

This is followed by a song about bowling (!) that’s called “Score Tonight.”

And it just keeps getting worse from there. The film becomes sickly fascinating as you find yourself trying to predict how much more worse it can possibly get. You may be tempted to give up but you’ll definitely want to stick around for the scene in which Michael discovers that Stephanie wants a “cool rider.” How does he know that? She sings a song about it!

Naturally, Michael gets a motorcycle, a helmet, and pair of goggles and he starts to romance Stephanie. Stephanie doesn’t know who that Michael is the mysterious motorcyclist, despite the fact that Michael is just wearing a helmet and a pair of goggles. Though you have to admire Pfieffer’s commitment to her role (and she gives a fairly good performance, considering the material she was working with), you can’t help but feel that Stephanie might not be the smart. Especially after she sings, “Who’s that guy?”

Uhmmm … it’s Michael. It’s not like he’s dressed up like a bat or wearing the Iron Man armor. He’s just got a helmet and goggles on. Add to that, while Maxwell Caulfield doesn’t give a bad performance (he seems to be doing the best he can with what he’s been given to work with), he also doesn’t attempt to act any differently when he’s the mysterious motorcyclist than when he’s Michael.

There are other things going on as well. The film is full of vignettes about life in 1961, all featuring the students and teachers at Rydell High. For instance, former teen idol Tab Hunter shows up as a substitute teacher and sings a song about reproduction.

And again, it’s so bad that you can’t look away and you watch knowing that you’ll never get the images and the songs out of your head. So compulsively watchable is this bad movie that I may have to watch it again after I finish this review. (Then again, I’ll probably just rewatch the fifth season of Degrassi…)

(That said, I would actually argue that Grease 2 is a better directed film than the first Grease. Grease 2 was directed by Grease‘s choreographer and, as opposed to the first film, the dance numbers are actually framed with modicum of care.)

(By the way, I’ve always wanted to use the phrase “modicum of care” in a review.)

Anyway, Grease 2 apparently bombed at the box office and, as a result, there have been no further Grease films. It’s a shame because you so know that Grease 3 would have taken place in 1967 and featured hippies.

Oh well.

We’ll survive…