Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.23 “Cornelius and Alphonse/The Choice”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone, smiles!  This week, we visit the other side of the Island.

Episode 2.23 “Cornelius and Alphonse/The Choice”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on May 6th, 1979)

This was a bit of an odd episode.

First off, the official title of the show, for this episode, was Fantasy Island Sunday Special.  Usually, Fantasy Island aired on Saturdays.  This episode, as you can guess by the title, aired on a Sunday.  Secondly, this episode does away with both the plane and Tattoo’s signature cry of “Da Plane Da Plane,” and instead has the guests arrive on the island in a hot air balloon.  Tattoo (who is once again seen driving his little car, so I guess he finally recovered it after it was stolen earlier in the season) and Mr. Roarke are joined by a second assistant, Cindy (Kimberly Beck, who readers of this site will probably recognize as the likable lead in films like Massacre at Central High and Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter).  At one point, Roarke says that “Cindy helps me on this side of the Island.”  If nothing else, this episode confirms that Roarke has multiple assistants and the Island is really, really big.

Actually, it’s a good thing that Cindy is there because Cornelius (Red Buttons) and Alphonse (Billy Barty) have kidnapped Tattoo!  Cornelius is a former employee of the Island but he was fired for stealing.  When he returns to the Island, he says that his fantasy is to just have a pleasant holiday with his friend Alphonse.  However, Cornelius’s real fantasy is to get revenge on Mr. Roarke by abducting Tattoo and holding him for ransom!

Of course, anyone who has been paying attention to the show up to this point knows that Cornelius and Alphonse have made a mistake.  Mr. Roarke and Tattoo obviously loathe each other.  When Mr. Roarke finds out that Tattoo is being held captive in a conveniently deserted castle, he doesn’t really seem that concerned about it.  And Tattoo turns out to be such a disruptive presence that Cornelius is soon begging Roarke to take him back.  In the end, Roarke demands money to take Tattoo off of their hands and Cornelius and Alphone end up paying off their debt by working in Fantasy Island’s kitchen.  Tattoo is amused by the whole thing, despite the fact that Mr, Roarke was essentially willing to let him die.

Meanwhile, two orphans (Kyle Richards and Michael Anderson, Jr.) are given a chance to pick their new parents.  They spend time with two sets of prospective parents.  (One of the potential fathers is a magician played by a youngish Regis Philbin.)  From the start of the fantasy, it’s pretty obvious that they’re going to ask to be adopted by Ruth (Juliet Mills), the head of the adoption agency.  And that’s exactly what happens.  The episode ends with Ruth and the children boarding a hot air balloon and flying all the way back to America.

As I said, this was a bit of a weird episode, with a new assistant and a hot air balloon.  “The other side of the Island” looks a like a theme park.  This episode was obviously designed to appeal to children and, for what it’s worth, the IMDb trivia section states that this episode was meant to be a “backdoor pilot” for a version of Fantasy Island that would appeal to children.  (I assume Cindy would have been the main character.)  Unfortunately, the kidnapping humor is a bit too broad and the adoption storyline is a bit too predictable.  Hopefully, next week’s episode will take place on the adult side of the Island.

Music Video of the Day: Padam Padam by Kylie Minogue (2023, dir by Sophie Muller)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s music video of the day finds Kylie Minogue in what appears to be yet another post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Personally, I appreciate this video because of all the red.  Who wouldn’t want to live in a world dominated by my favorite color?

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.21 “Phenom Blues” and 4.22 “New York Nick”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Play-offs, baby!

Episode 4.21 “Phenom Blues”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 22nd, 1998)

It’s play-off time and, once again, the Tornadoes are at Indiana State University.  Unfortunately, the Tornadoes are having a crisis of confidence because their first game is going to be against a team that has the best player in Indiana.  Despite Julie calling them all a bunch of losers for being afraid and the Coach giving them a lot of game tape to watch, the boys are convinced that they’re going to lose and get sent home.

“This is our last night in Bloomington,” Hammer says at one point, “We should at least have some fun!”

Seriously, how can you not have fun in Bloomington?

Michael, Silk, Rico, and Hammer all go to a cow-themed amusement park.  Unfortunately, due to a malfunctioning hanging gondola, they nearly plunge to their deaths.  A helicopter shows up at the last minute and drops a ladder down to them.  Yay, I guess.  I don’t know, this was actually kind of dumb and it annoyed me that we only saw the ladder and never the helicopter.  I mean, if you’re going to fake an amusement park disaster, spend some money and get a real helicopter!

Julie, meanwhile, spends the night watching game tape and talking to herself about how the other team is good but can be defeated.  Even when she’s talking to herself, Julie is condescending.

Finally, Kristy and Coach K. play in a pool tournament.  Kristy is playing because she wants to win a bike so that the team can give it to Coach K as a thank you present.  Coach K wants to win the bike because his old bike got stolen.  Sounds like a win-win, to be honest.  Fortunately, Coach K has to forfeit the game so he can help rescue the players at the amusement park.  Kristy wins and gives Coach K. the bike that he would have won anyways.  Wow, that was suspenseful.

Anyway, having survived a near-death experience, the team is able to win their playoff game.  Yay!

This was pretty dumb but it did have one funny scene where, while flipping channels on the TV, Julie comes across an old episode of Saved By The Bell and dismisses it by saying, “I’ve seen all of these 50 times already.”  That’s my type of humor right there.

Well, I guess that, in the next episode, we’ll find out if the Tornadoes won that championship or not….

Episode 4.22 “New York Nick”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 22nd, 1998)

The Tornadoes are going to New York!

Wait a minute, what?  Aren’t they supposed to be playing for the state championship?  It is true that they won a trip to New York when they were in San Antonio but why are they going now?  It doesn’t make — eh, forget it.  I’m doing trying to justify this show’s messy timeline.  Life’s too short and I’m getting a headache.

In New York, Mary Beth and Kristy can’t wait to go shopping at Bloomingdale’s!  Julie can’t wait to talk down to everyone!  Michael, Silk, and Rico can’t wait to go to a Pacers/Knicks game!  And Hammer can’t wait to see his ex-girlfriend, a supermodel named Cindy!  He asks Mary Beth for permission and Mary Beth is like, “Sure!”  But she doesn’t really mean it.  She’s jealous and annoyed and I would have been as well.  To be honest, she should have just dumped Hammer right there.  I mean, Julie will dump a guy just for having uneven sideburns.  Why is Mary Beth always trapped in these go-nowhere relationships?

While eating lunch with Cindy, Hammer is approached by the editor of Teen Life, who wants to put Cindy and Hammer on the cover of their Coolest Couple Issue!  Mary Beth says that she doesn’t have a problem with it but when Cindy and Hammer are invited to an industry party, it’s time for Mary Beth, Kristy, and Julie to put on some silly wigs and crash the party!  In a fit of jealousy, Mary Beth destroys a cake and loses Hammer the job.  So, now …. oh God, this headache is intensifying …. Mary Beth has to find a way to sneak into the editor’s hotel room and talk her into rehiring Hammer.  In fact, Mary Beth is so persistent that the editor decides to put Mary Beth on the cover instead of Cindy.  File this under things that would never happen in real life.

Meanwhile, at the Knicks/Pacers game, Michael, Rico, and Silk get into a food fight with a Knicks fan who later turns out to be a friend of the coach and …. oh, who cares?  The only thing memorable about the game scene is that it was pretty much recreated word-for-word in a later episode of City Guys.

Who won the championship!?  Maybe we’ll find out next week.

Film Review: The Irish Mob (dir by Patrick McKnight)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Valentino “Val” Fagan (played by Rob McCarthy) was named after Rudolph Valentino but he didn’t grow up to be a chivalrous lover, the type whose romantic eyes make hearts swoon.  Instead, Val grew up to be a mobster, the head of the Irish mob.  His eyes view the world with mistrust and anger.  As he tells us in the cocky voice-over that runs through The Irish Mob, Dublin is his city.  Whether its drugs, theft, or dealing weapons with the IRA, Val is involved.

However, it’s not easy being the boss.

For one thing, Val has the Garda after him.  Detective Liz Delahunt (Pauline O’Driscoll) is obsessed with taking Val down.  She’s got the wall of her office set up with one of those crazy charts that links Val and his associates to a series of unsolved murders throughout Ireland.  Liz is clever and she’s determined.  In one of the film’s funnier moments, she puts Val under a protection order so that he ends up with Detective Kevin Hogan (David Greene) following him around 24 hours a day and staking out his home.  Whenever Val looks out of a window, Hogan gives him a friendly wave.

As well, the Corrigan Brothers, who are Val’s Amsterdam-based drug connections, have just lost a fairly large shipment of drugs and the money that they would have made from selling them.  The Corrigans expect their associates to kick in to help make up for the loss and it’s pretty clear that failure to do so will lead to something not good happening.  Val may be rich but he’s not that rich and he soon finds himself taking risks in order to raise the money.  Right when it appears that Liz’s funding has been cut, one of Val’s brazen robberies leads to Liz being told that she’ll have all the money that she needs to pursue her case against Val.

Finally, there’s Dessie Corrigan (George Bracebridge), a monstrous sociopath who has just been released from prison and who is looking to get back into the Dublin rackets.  A misunderstanding leads to Corrigan deciding that Val sold him out to the Garda.  Corrigan soon starts to attack Val’s men and makes plans to come after Val himself.  As with so many of the criminals in The Irish Mob, Corrigan is an idiot but he’s a very determined idiot.  He’s also someone who can easily be manipulated by those looking to take over Dublin.

Val has his ways of dealing with the stress.  He genuinely loves his son and comes about as close to being human as he probably can whenever he’s just being a father.  Though he spends a lot of time fighting with his wife, he does have a mistress who he enjoys spending an hour or two with.  And, of course, there’s always cocaine.  The more stressed Val gets, the more he does.  The more paranoid Val becomes, the more people he kills.  It’s not easy being in charge but, as Val tells us, Dublin is his city,

Plotwise, The Irish Mob is a standard Mafia movie, complete with a philosophical voice over and scenes of random violence.  Val reached his position of power by being smarter than everyone else but, now that he’s in charge, he’s forced to depend on people who are stupid, sadistic, and impulsive.  Val thinks that he can control the cycle of violence but what he doesn’t understand is that the cycle controls him and not the other way around.  Rob McCarthy gives a steely performance as Val and the Dublin locations give the film a gritty feel.  Unfortunately, the plot itself doesn’t really feature many surprises and the film’s concluding twist, while being appropriately tragic, is still one that most audiences will see coming from a mile away.  Then again, that may be the point.  Val’s fate is as predestined as those who came before him and those who will come after him.  In the end, the cycle just keeps repeating.

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Crackerjack and The Beastmaster!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1994’s Crackerjack!  Christopher Plummer’s in it so you know it has to be good!

Following #MondayActionMovie, I will be guest-hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet!  We will be watching 1982’s The Beastmaster, starring Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, and Rip Torn!  The film is on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Crackjack on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start The Beastmaster, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.   

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Jaded by Miley Cyrus (2023, dir by Jacob Bixenman and Brendan Walter)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Miley’s sorry that you’re jaded.

Jaded is defined as being “tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something,” so I guess it’s appropriate that the video for the song is kind of boring and features all of the tired Miley stuff that we’ve already seen in a hundred other videos, some of which featured Miley and some of which didn’t.  It’s interesting that we live in a world where we have many stars but few of them really seem to have much of a personality.

Enjoy!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 5/15/23 — 5/21/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Rick Dalton, R.I.P.

Seriously, I don’t want to overanalyze this and Quentin Tarantino has certainly earned his right to do whatever he wants but what does it say about our world that people online were more upset over the death of a fictional alcoholic than they were over …. well, anything going on in the real world.  I mean, I was pretty upset about it myself.  Is Cliff still alive?  I guess he would be close to a 100 by now.

Well, anyway, here’s what I watched and listened to this week while everyone else was having fun at Cannes and mourning Rick Dalton:

Films I Watched:

  1. The Avenging Conscience (1914)
  2. Cloverfield (2008)
  3. Defiant (2019)
  4. Fenced Off (2011)
  5. Fletch (1985)
  6. The Great Niagara (1974)
  7. The Headless Horseman (1922)
  8. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  9. Killing American Style (1990)
  10. The Mark (2012)
  11. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  12. The Rundown (2003)
  13. Standing Firm (2010)
  14. Survival Game (1991)
  15. Svengali (1931)
  16. Track of the Moon Beast (1976)
  17. The Unknown (1927)
  18. Your Place or Mine (2023)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. Barry
  2. Beavis and Butthead
  3. Black Bird
  4. Forgive or Forget
  5. Law & Order
  6. The Love Boat
  7. The Master
  8. Night Flight
  9. Sally Jessy Raphael
  10. Survivor
  11. Take Off To Comedy IX
  12. Waco: The Aftermath
  13. Yellowjackets

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Arcade Fire
  2. Atomic Kitten
  3. Banannarama
  4. Blondie
  5. Britney Spears
  6. Charli XCX
  7. The Chemical Brothers
  8. Coldplay
  9. Geri Halliwell
  10. Icona Pop
  11. The Killers
  12. Miley Cyrus
  13. Muse
  14. Nat and Alex Wolff
  15. O-Town
  16. Saint Motel
  17. Shakira
  18. Spice Girls
  19. Victoria Beckham

Live Tweets:

  1. Survival Game
  2. The Rundown
  3. Fletch
  4. Cloverfield

Trailers:

  1. Killers of the Flower Moon

News From Last Week:

  1. Quentin Tarantino Announces the Death of ‘Once Upon A Time’ Character Rick Dalton
  2. Football Player And Actor Jim Brown Dies At 87
  3. Austrian Actor Helmut Berger Dies At 78
  4. British Author Martin Amis Dies At 73
  5. Bassist Andy Rourke Dies At 59
  6. Leonardo DiCaprio and Lily Gladstone Conquer Cannes With 9-Minute Standing Ovation for ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’
  7. Box Office: ‘Fast X’ Racing to Projected $67 Million Debut

Links From Last Week:

  1. Our Egypt Adventure: Random Thoughts and Observations

Links From The Site:

  1. I shared music videos from O-Town, O-Town, O-Town, O-Town, O-Town, Atomic Kitten, and Atomic Kitten!
  2. I reviewed Hang Time, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, City Guys, The Master, and California Dreams!
  3. I shared my Cannes predictions and my week in television!
  4. I reviewed The Great Niagara, Fenced Off, Joker’s Poltergeist, Killing American Style, Your Place or Mine, and Girl on a Motorcycle!
  5. I shared scenes from Mr. Smith Goes To Washington and Anatomy of a Murder!
  6. I paid tribute to Albert Pyun!
  7. Erin shared Counter Girl, Opium Flower, The Last Princess, Secret Beyond The Door, Radio Stories, The Lost World, and Detective Novel!
  8. Erin shared the Spicy Covers of Bedtime Stories!
  9. Jeff reviewed Forbidden Trails, The Gunman From Bodie, and Arizona Bound!

More From Us:

  1. At Days Without Incident, Leonard shared a song from St. Germain!
  2. For the Reality TV Chat Blog, I reviewed the latest episode of Survivor!
  3. At my dream journal, I shared Last Night’s Hoax Dream!
  4. At my music site, I shared songs from Victoria Beckham, Charli XCX, Geri Halliwell, Spice Girls, Arcade Fire, The Killers, and Coldplay!
  5. At her photography site, Erin shared Squirrel and His Bread, Searching Bird, Alley, Door, Fan, Armadillos, and Buzzard!

Want to see what I did last week?  Click here!

Retro Television Reviews: The Great Niagara (dir by William Hale)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s The Great Niagara!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

The Great Niagara takes place during the Great Depression.

With the world mired in economic uncertainty and the threat of war right around the corner, people are more desperate than ever for entertainment.  One of the latest fads is attempting to conquer the Niagara by going over the falls in some sort of raft.  If done correctly, it can lead to fame and fortune.  But, if one mistake is made while trying to steer the raft against the rapids and the rocks, it can lead to death.  In fact, death is the usual outcome of most people’s efforts to conquer the Niagara.  It’s actually illegal to try to ride anything over the falls but people still try to do it and crowds still gather to watch the attempts.

Old Aaron Grant (Richard Boone) is obsessed with conquering the Niagara but, because he’s been injured in too many attempts, all he can do now is sponsor and try to help others who are willing to take the risk.  Aaron is the type who will look out at the Niagara and angrily shake his fist.  He hates the river and he hates the falls but they’re also the only thing that gives his life meaning.  After Aaron’s latest protegee, Ace Tully (Burt Young), fails in his attempt to go over the falls, Aaron starts to put pressure on his sons to make the attempt.  Lonnie Grant (Michael Sacks) knows that Aaron has allowed his obsession to drive him mad and he’s also promised his wife, Lois (Jennifer Salt), that he won’t go over the falls.  However, Carl Grant (Randy Quaid) is desperate for his father’s approval and it’s not long before he’s getting ready to enter the barrel and risk his life.

The Great Niagara is a short but interesting film.  It’s based on historical fact.  There’s been a long history of people risking their lives with stunts at Niagara Falls.  A few years ago, there was a live television broadcast of someone walking over the falls on a tightrope.  It was a huge rating success and it was, of course, sold as a tribute to the human spirit.  That said, it’s entirely believable that a good deal of the people watching were doing so because they were curious about what would happen if the guy fell off the wire.  By that same token, the crowds that we see in The Great Niagara are far more concerned with seeing someone go over the falls than they are with whether or not that person survives the experience.  Richard Boone gives an obsessive, half-mad performance as Aaron and Michael Saks does a good job as the voice of reason.  Randy Quaid gives a poignant performance as poor Carl, who is so desperate for his father’s approval that he’s willing to risk his life to try to get it.  That said, the true star of the film is the Niagara itself, which is beautiful but obviously dangerous.  When Aaron shakes his fist at the falls, it’s hard not to feel that the Niagara isn’t doing the same back at him.