Song of the Day: All Time High, performed by Rita Coolidge

Posted on May 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to recording artist Rita Coolidge!

Rita Coolidge, who rose from being a backing singer to being a successful headliner in her own right, sung my favorite James Bond theme song, All Time High from Octopussy.

(Not surprisingly, this was a rare care of the Bond film’s title not being used in the theme song.)

I love this song and not just because it’s one of the few that I can actually sing. As performed by Coolidge, this song captures the romance, mystery, and fun that epitomized the Bond franchise before Daniel Craig came along and turned James Bond into a sexless, weepy loser.

It only seems appropriate to make All Time High today’s song of the day!

All I wanted was a sweet distraction for an hour or twoHad no intention to do the things we’ve doneFunny how it always goes with love, when you don’t look, you findBut then we’re two of a kind, we move as one

We’re an all-time highWe’ll change all that’s gone beforeDoing so much more than falling in loveOn an all-time highWe’ll take on the world and winSo hold on tight, let the flight begin

I don’t want to waste a waking moment, I don’t want to sleepI’m in so strong and so deep, and so are youIn my time, I’ve said these words before, but now I realizeMy heart was telling me lies, for you, they’re true

We’re an all-time highWe’ll change all that’s gone beforeDoing so much more than falling in loveOn an all-time highWe’ll take on the world and winSo hold on tight, let the flight begin

So hold on tight, let the flight beginWe’re an all-time high

(Songwriters: Tim Rice and John Barry)

Scenes That I Love: Dan O’Herlihy Explains The Meaning of Halloween in Halloween III: Season of The Witch

Posted on May 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

105 years ago, on this date, the great character actor Dan O’Herlihy was born in Wexford, Wexford County, Ireland.

O’Herlihy would have a long career as an actor, making his feature debut in 1947’s Odd Man Out and working steadily in film and television for the next 50 years. For modern viewers, he is perhaps best remembered for his role as The Old Man in the first two Robocop films and his performance as the sinister trickster, Conal Cochran, in 1982’s Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

Today’s scene that I love from from the latter film. O’Herlihy explains the mean of Halloween to a trapped Tom Atkins. O’Herlihy truly turned Conal Cochran into one of the great horror villains of the 80s and his performance is one of the main reasons that the rather oddball Halloween III retains a loyal audience to this day.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Wes Anderson Edition

Posted on May 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to Texas’s own Wes Anderson! It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Wes Anderson Films

Bottle Rocket (1996, dir by Wes Anderson, DP: Robert Yeoman)

Rushmore (1998, dir by Wes Anderson, DP: Robert Yeoman)

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014, dir by Wes Anderson, DP: Robert Yeoman)

Asteroid City (2023. dir by Wes Anderson, DP: Robert Yeoman)

6 Things That I’m Looking Forward To In May

Posted on May 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to the wonderful month of May!

1) Cannes Film Festival — This is the big one. This is the main thing that I’m looking forward to in May. I don’t care if anything else happens in May, as long as the Cannes Film Festival takes place. I won’t be at Cannes this year but, like most of you, I’ll be following all of the reports, dispatches, and rumors from the Festival.

Cannes is going to finally give reviewers a first look at some of the most anticipated films of 2024. The Apprentice, Bird, Kinds of Kindness, Oh Canada, and Parthenope are all going to be in the competition, along with Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis. Oh, Megalopolis. After all the rumors and all the speculation about Coppola’s latest film, it will finally be presented to the world at Cannes. Megalopolis has been getting a mixed reaction among the studio folk, with many describing the film as being Coppola’s latest folly. Of course, the execs of the 70s said the same thing about Apocalypse Now before it was released. It was at the 79 Cannes Film Festival that Apocalypse Now was first honored. We’re all waiting to see if history will repeat itself.

(And let us not forget that films like Furiosa and the first of Kevin Costner’s Horizon films will be premiering out of competition.)

Victory at Cannes does not necessarily guarantee success at the Oscars but it doesn’t hurt. With this year’s Sundance Film Festival being an unexpectedly low-key affair, it appears that Cannes will be the true start of this year’s Oscar season.

2) The Fall Guy — Hey, this looks fun! Seriously, we need more fun films. Starring Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt, The Fall Guy will be be in theaters at the end of this week.

3) Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes — I have mixed feelings about the idea of continuing the current line of Planet of the Apes films. I think the filmmakers may be underestimating just how important Andy Serkis was to the success of the previous three films. That said, I’m still interested in seeing the latest installment for myself. I hope it’s a success. I also hope that people will go back and watch the original Planet of the Apes films as well. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes is a film that feels more relevant with each passing years.

4) Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga — Like Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, I get the feeling that the filmmakers may be underestimating how important Charlize Theron and Tom Hardy were to the success of Mad Max: Fury Road. That said, I’m still very much looking forward to seeing Furiosa for myself. Following its Cannes premiere, Furiosa is scheduled to open on May 24th.

5) Hit Man — The latest from Richard Linklater also opens on May24th. After several months of hearing positive things about this film, I can’t wait to finally watch it.

6) 1992 — Ray Liotta’s final film will open, in limited release, on May 31st.

What are you looking forward to in May?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.2 “The Creature”

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

Mitch, Griff, and Ryan search for an amphibian hybrid.

Episode 2.2 “The Creature”

(Dir by David W. Hagar, originally aired on October 6th, 1996)

The Creature of the title is a young blonde woman (played by Shelli Lether) who has spent her entire life locked away in a secret lab. One night, a security guard decides that he wants to get to know The Creature better. The Creature responds by killing both him and his co-worker. She escapes from the lab, running into the California night.

Mitch and Ryan are brought to the lab by the mysterious Diamont Teague, who explains that he’s not sure what was going on at the lab but whatever was housed in the building has escaped. Mitch leaves to track down the Creature. (He recruits Griff to help him out.) Meanwhile, Ryan stays at the lab and looks through magnifying scopes and studies slides and computer read-outs and eventually, she figures out that the lab was the focus of a DNA experiment. The creature is half-amphibian and half-human.

“Can we do that?” Mitch asks when Ryan calls him.

“Apparently so,” Ryan calmly replies.

(Seriously, Ryan’s so cool.)

It also turns out that Mitch and Griff are not the only people who are searching for the Creature. There are also a group of soldiers that are determined to track down the Creature, destroy it, and cover up the fact that it was created in the first place. Mitch, needless to say, is not happy about that. Mitch is a lifeguard and, as a lifeguard, he believes in guarding every life, even the life of a humanoid amphibian who murders anyone who approaches her.

And, if this was Baywatch, Mitch probably would have saved the Creature. But this is Baywatch Nights and the night is darker than the day. The Creature gets blown up in a tunnel but it appears that all of the soldiers get blown up with her. Take that, Feds! As for Mitch, he gets out of the tunnel just in time and makes a slow motion jump as the explosion erupts behind him. A chastened and mournful Mitch then announces that he’s going home as the sun rises over the horizon. Hey, Mitch — don’t forget to call Ryan and let her know that she can leave the lab.

After last week’s disappointing second season premiere, The Creature is the first classic episode of Baywatch Nights‘s supernatural season. The action moves quickly and through multiple locations. (The Creature may not know much about the world but she’s still drawn to a club.) The story is ludicrous enough to be entertaining. Shelli Lether is surprisingly sympathetic as the murderous Creature. Even Hasselhoff throws his heart into his attempts to convince the soldiers not to destroy the Creature. This episode was fun and dumb in a very likable way.

Next week, Mitch battles another sea monster!

The Films of 2024: Miller’s Girl (dir by Jade Halley Bartlett)

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Halfway through Miller’s Girl, I yelled “SHUT UP!” at my television.

I wasn’t shouting at a specific person in the film or because I had heard something that I found to be morally offensive. I was just shouting at the movie in general. Miller’s Girl is a film about people who talk nonstop, despite not really having anything interesting or new to say. It’s a film about smart people but it doesn’t so much capture the way that smart people sound as much as it captures a dumb person’s idea of what it’s like to sound smart. All of the dialogue is so calculated and so overwritten and so mind-thuddingly obvious, I was tempted to mute the film. But then I’d just be stuck looking at the images and the images weren’t that interesting either.

The Miller of the title is Jonathan Albert Miller (Martin Freeman), a writer who once published a short story collection called — *snicker* — Apostrophes and Ampersands. (Again, this is the type of title that someone who has never actually read a book would consider to be clever.) Miller hasn’t written anything since he married wife, Bitchy McBitchface (played by Dagmara Domińczyk). Actually, her name is Beatrice and she spends most of her time drinking and reminding Mr. Miller that he’s a failure.

Mr. Miller teaches a creative writing class at a high school in Tennessee. He enjoys sharing a smoke and a cup of coffee with his best friend, Coach Boris Fillmore (Bashir Salahuddin). Even though Fillmore is a coach, he speaks in the same overwritten and florid dialogue as everyone else in this film because God forbid anyone sound like an individual. Mr. Miller finds himself becoming obsessed with one of his students, Cairo Sweet (Jenna Ortega). But Cairo, it turns out, might just be manipulating Mr. Miller so that she can use her experience of being seduced by a teacher for her admissions essay to Yale. Meanwhile, Cairo’s friend, Winnie (Gideon Adlon, giving the best performance in the film), longs for Cairo.

The script for this film ended up on the 2016 Black List, which is the annual list of the “best unproduced scripts” in Hollywood. It’s amazing how many truly mediocre films have first gained attention by having their script included in the Black List. Cedar Rapids, The Beaver, Broken City, The Promotion, Dracula Untold, St. Vincent, The Judge, Money Monster, Boston Strangler, The Mother, and now Miller’s Girl are all Black List films that went into production. Perhaps the film’s overwritten and overly arch dialogue seemed brilliant on the page but when it’s actually recited out loud, it just sounds like everyone involved is trying too hard to sound like an intellectual. Eventually, you find yourself longing to hear just one line that might convey some sort of genuine emotion as opposed to empty posturing. In a moment of unintentional hilarity, Miller masturbates while reading one of Cairo’s stories. The film makes the mistakes of including Cairo reading the story in voice-over, revealing that Cairo is not only a terrible writer but that Miller will basically jerk off to anything.

Jade Halley Bartlett not only wrote the script but also makes her directorial debut and gives the film a flat visual style to go along with the intellectual emptiness of it all. This cast is full of talented people but Jenna Ortega, who has been so good in other movies and shows, is miscast as a femme fatale and Dagmara Dominczyk’s attempt at a Tennessee accent will bring to mind cats mating in an alley. Gideon Adlon is the only member of the cast who makes you believe that her character has a life outside of the requirements of the script.

I really thought there was no way I would see a film worse than Mea Culpa this year but Miller’s Girl has proven me wrong.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.23 “Man-Beast/Ole Island Opry”

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

This week, we learn something new about the Island.

Episode 4.23 “Man-Beast/Ole Island Opry”

(Dir by George W. Brooks, originally aired on May 16th, 1981)

Did you know that Fantasy Island is home to a world-famous country music venue?

Yes, I’m talking about the Ole Island Opry! Operated by Lottie McFadden (Anne Francis), the Ole Island Opry is a mainstay of the Island, even though it’s never been mentioned before. Lottie says that everyone from Charley Pride to Hank Williams to Dolly Parton has played at the Ole Island Opry.

If you’re anything like me, you’re saying, “What the heck?”

I mean, seriously, why have we never heard of this place before? How many country music fans live on the Island? Why would established artists be so eager to play at a venue that’s sitting on an isolated island? And how big is this Island anyway? With the fishing village, the native villages, the downtown area that we see sometimes, the children’s side of the Island, the ancient castles, the isolated mansions, the Ole Island Opry, and all the magical portals, Fantasy Island has got to be at least the size of New Zealand.

These questions go unanswered, as usual. Instead, the episode focuses on Charlie Rowlands (Jimmy Dean), who was an up-and-coming country music star until his wife died and he gave up stardom to raise his daughter, Jennie (Wendy Schaal). Charlie is an old friend of Lottie’s and his fantasy is for Jennie to make her singing debut at the Ole Island Opry.

What Charlie doesn’t know is that Jennie has a fantasy of her own. She wants her father to stop pressuring her to become a singer so that she can focus on her love of photography! Mr. Roarke is able to grant both fantasies. Jennie sings but is really bad and her father finally realizes that she’s not meant to be a country-western star. Instead, Jennie asks her father to come up on stage and sing a song. Charlie sings King of the Road and, despite being a bit older than the usual up-and-comer, he gets a recording contract. He also wins the love of Lottie, who leaves the Island with him. As for Jennie, she can now attend a Yankee art school without feeling guilty. Yay!

Jimmy Dean gave a charming performance but otherwise, this fantasy was just silly. Perhaps it would have worked if Charlie and his daughter had stepped into the past and found themselves in Nashville in the 40s but having Jennie make her debut (and farewell) at the “Ole Island Opry” just required a bit too much of a suspension of disbelief. As well, Mr. Roarke has a habit of combining people’s fantasies without giving them any advance warning. It always seem to work out okay but I still think Mr. Roarke is lucky that he hasn’t gotten sued by a guest who didn’t want to share their fantasy with anyone else.

The other fantasy featured David (David Hedison) and Elizabeth Tabori (Carol Lynley) coming to the Island in an attempt to cure David of a recurring nightmare that he’s been having, one in which Elizabeth and he are in a dark cave and Elizabeth is terrified of something. Mr. Roarke quickly deduces that David is a werewolf. David can be cured by a very rare plant. Unfortunately, it will take the plant a few days to arrive so David will have to survive two full moons on Fantasy Island.

As with most of this show’s horror-themed fantasies, this fantasy was simple but fun. The werewolf makeup was pretty basic but David Hedison poured himself into the role of the tortured David Tabori. Fortunately, the magic flower arrives just in time to curse David of his ancestral curse.

As David and Elizabeth leave, Tattoo says that David must have been crazy because werewolves don’t exist. Suddenly, Tattoo realizes that he’s turning into a werewolf. Roarke has a good laugh as the end credits roll.

This week was another uneven trip to the Island. It’s interesting that, even with a werewolf on the loose, everyone still braved the night to attend the show at the Ole Island Opry. Fantasy Island is a strange place and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Scenes That I Love: Gal Gadot Crosses No Man’s Land In Wonder Woman

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to the great Gal Gadot.

Perhaps not surprisingly, today’s scene that I love comes from the film that made Gadot a star worldwide, 2017’s Wonder Woman. Steve Trevor thinks that no one can cross No Man’s Land. Wonder Woman (played, of course, by Gal Gadot) is going to prove him wrong.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Allan Arkush Edition

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been the 76th birthday of Allan Arkush, the director who started his career with Roger Corman and who went on to direct some of the best cult films of the 70s. Though Hollywood never quite figured out what to do with Arkush and his quirky sensibility, he still had a long career as a television director and, thankfully, he lived long enough to see several of his films rediscovered and appreciated by movie lovers.

It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Allan Arkush Films

Hollywood Boulevard (1976, dir by Allan Arkush and Joe Dante, DP: Jamie Anderson)

Deathsport (1978, dir by Allan Arkush, DP: Gary Graver)

Rock and Roll High School (1979, dir by Allan Arkush, DP: Dean Cundey)

Get Crazy (1983, dir by Allan Arkush, DP: Thomas Del Ruth)

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.2 “The Volunteers”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, we’ve got ourselves a convoy!

Episode 2.2 “The Volunteers”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 23rd, 1978)

After a high-speed chase causes a robbery suspect to crash his car into a chemical storage facility (which subsequently explodes), three truckers have to get their trucks full of chlorine gas to the next available facility. Unfortunately, it’s a 170-mile drive over rough terrain and it’s a very hot day. If the gas gets to hot, it’ll explode. If It doesn’t get to the storage facility in time, it’ll explode. In fact, it appears that just about anything can make chlorine gas explode. Californians might love chlorine for their pool but they don’t want it in the air.

Getraer assigns Ponch, Baker, Baricza, and Jane Turner to escort the trucks to the facility. Jane Turner (Rana Ford) is a new member of the highway patrol. She drives a squad car and she’s the first woman and only the second black person who we’ve seen working for the highway patrol on this show. She doesn’t really do much in this episode and, about halfway through, she breaks off from the main group to help deal with a highway pile-up. For that matter, Getraer and Baricza end up vanishing as well. As usual, it’s all on Ponch and Baker.

Despite the danger of a chemical spill killing the population of Los Angeles county, Ponch spends most of this episode trying to get laid. The episode opens with him leering at a jogging stewardess (Anna Upstrom) and then bragging about how he has a date with her later that night.

“She doesn’t smoke, drink, or dance,” Ponch says.

“What are you two going to do?” Baker earnestly asks.

Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins.

But Ponch is soon distracted by one of the truck drivers, a woman named Robbie Davis (Katherine Cannon), who is quick to yell that not only can she drive a truck but she can vote as well. Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins. Baker gets in on the action by saying, “Prettiest little truck driver I’ve ever seen.”

Robbie’s father (Tige Andrews) and the other trucker (Sam Brodie) all totally think Robbie should hook up with Ponch but they’re still amused when, late in the episode, Ponch accepts a ride from a blonde in a convertible. Ponch arches and eyebrow and grins as he gets in the car. WE GET IT, PONCH!

It’s not easy transporting chlorine gas. Along with rough desert terrain, there’s also a group of beer-drinking rednecks who drive by in a pickup truck and threaten to shoot one of the tanks. All of that drunk driving leads to another multi-car pile-up. For some reason, one of the vehicles in the pile-up was transporting a tiger, which promptly gets loose and enters a grocery store. Ponch and Baker grab raw meat from the butcher’s station and use it to trick the tiger into entering an office. After they shut the door, the owner of the store yells at them for wasting meat. There’s also a town puts up a roadblock to keep the trucks from coming through because they don’t want chlorine gas getting into the air. And then there’s an avalanche, which causes chlorine gas to leak out of Robbie’s truck, sending her to the hospital.

Considering everything that happens in this episode, it’s odd that it all feels rather boring. The best episodes of CHiPs focus on fast motorcycles and beautiful scenery. This episode featured slow-moving trucks and the desert. Bleh. I hate the desert. This episode also featured a lot of interaction between Robbie, her father, and their friend. In fact, they were so prominently featured that it wouldn’t surprise me if this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a trucking show. (This episode aired in 1978, which was a big year for trucker movies.) But the Davis family just wasn’t that interesting.

This episode didn’t really capture my attention. Hopefully, next week will see a return of fast bikes and nice scenery.