6 Late Reviews: Atlas Shrugged: Part II, Project X, This Means War, A Thousand Words, Trouble With The Curve, The Vow


2012 is quickly drawing to an end and seriously, where has the time gone?  I’m seriously running behind in reviewing all of the films that I’ve seen in 2012 so, in the interest of getting caught up, here are six quick (and late) reviews of some of the film that I saw earlier this year.

(Fortunately, seeing as how we live in a world of Netflix, DVD, Blu-ray, and On Demand service, it’s never too late to review any film.)

1) Atlas Shrugged: Part II (dir by John Putch)

Picking up where the first Atlas Shrugged ended, Atlas Shrugged: Part II continues to tell the story of how America was ruined by elitist do-gooders and how the smartest people in the world responded by uttering the phrase, “Who Is John Galt?” and then vanishing.

There’s a lot of bad stuff that I could say about Atlas, Shrugged Part II.  I could point out how close to nothing actually happens in the film.  I understand that this is the second part of a proposed film trilogy but, seriously, that’s all that Atlas Shrugged Part II has in common with The Two Towers.  With the exception of the great Patrick Fabian (who has a lot of fun playing a weasel), the cast isn’t memorable and the film is full of slow spots.

Part II was made by a different director and with a far more professional cast than Part I but that proves to be a mistake.  Part of the odd charm of Atlas Shrugged, Part I was that it was such a low-budget, pulpy affair.  Atlas Shrugged, Part II is a lot more slick and, as a result, it feels a lot less sincere.

That said, I couldn’t help but enjoy Atlas Shrugged, Part II because, much like For Greater Glory, the film flew so completely in the face of conventional cinematic political statements.  Atlas Shrugged Part II might not be a great (or even a good) film but it annoyed all of the professional film critics and it’s always amusing to watch the same critical establishment that embraced Avatar whine about how any other film is too heavy-handed.

Am I, therefore, recommending Atlas Shrugged, Part II?  Not really.  I tend to learn towards the Libertarian point of view when it comes to politics and even I found the film to be tedious.  That said, if you ever really want to annoy your wannabe hipster friend (the same one who leaves a hundred comments a day over at the A.V. Club), Atlas Shrugged, Part II might make the perfect holiday present.

2) Project X (dir by Nima Nourizadeh)

In California, two loathsome high school students — Costa (Oliver Cooper) and J.B.(Johnathan Daniel Brown) — throw a birthday party for their friend Thomas (Thomas Mann).  Thomas is a stereotypical nice guy but he’s also friends with Costa and J.B. and that makes him loathsome by association.  The party quickly gets out of control and eventually, houses are destroyed and a SWAT team is called in to restore order.

Oh!  And the entire film is presented as being a bunch of “found footage.”  What that means is that we have to sit through all the usual stuff of people acting awkward in an attempt to convince us that we’re not watching a movie, despite the fact that we clearly are.

Project X fails on so many levels that it’s hard to even know where to begin.

It’s impossible to sympathize with the film’s three main characters and let’s just say that Oliver Cooper is no Jonah Hill.

There’s no real build-up to the party getting out of control and hence, most of the film’s comedy falls flat.  This is the type of film where a midget happens to show up at the party just so he can then be tossed into an oven.  Uwe Boll would probably call that genius but, for the rest of us, it just feels like desperation on the part of the filmgoers.  (You can just here them going, “Midgets are always funny!”)

Finally, worst of all, Project X is the latest film to use the whole found footage gimmick as a way to try to explain away the fact that it’s just not a very good movie.  Seriously, mediocre filmmakers of America — it’s time to move on to a new gimmick!

3) This Means War (dir. by McG)

Two CIA Agents (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy) set aside their friendship and go to war when they realize that they’re both attempting to win the heart of the same woman (played by Reese Witherspoon).   Fortunately for them, they’ve both managed to fall in love with the one woman in the world too stupid to realize that there’s anything strange going on.  Chelsea Handler is also in this film.  She plays Witherspoon’s best friend and delivers all of her lines in this kind of depressed monotone that seems to suggest that she’d rather be co-starring with Whitney Cummings.  Eventually, a lot of things explode and well, anyway … bleh.

Seriously, This Means War has absolutely no right to be as boring as it is.  Outside of this film, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are both hot, Reese Witherspoon is likable, and even Chelsea Handler still makes me laugh on occasion.  And yet, when all four of these people are put together in the same film, the end result is a mess that just gets more and more annoying with each passing second.

Most of the blame has to be put on the director.  McG never finds a consistent tone for his film and never seems to be sure whether he’s parodying or celebrating the conventions of both action films and romantic comedies.

Myself, I just find it funny that people actually address him as “McG.”

4) A Thousand Words (dir by Brian Robbins)

Jack (Eddie Murphy) is a literary agent who talks too much.  So, one night, a tree with a thousand leaves magically appears in his back yard.  Every time that Jack says a word, a leaf falls off of the tree.  Luckily, Jack happens to know a new age guru (Cliff Curtis) who explains that once every leaf has fallen, Jack will die.  As a result, the formerly glib Jack learns the importance of saying just the right thing and he becomes a better husband, father, and son as a result.

A Thousand Words is just as bad as the above plot synopsis suggests and that’s all that really needs to be said about it.  Wasting a thousand words talking about A Thousand Words would be a mistake indeed.

5)  Trouble With The Curve (dir by Robert Lorenz)

Widower Gus (Clint Eastwood) is an aging baseball scout who is slowly losing his eyesight.  Mickey (Amy Adams) is Gus’s daughter, a driven lawyer who has a strained relationship with her father.

And together … they solve crimes!

No, not really.  Instead, Gus is given one last assignment and Mickey, who is both concerned for her father’s well-being and wants to try to repair their fractured relationship, accompanies him.  At first, Gus doesn’t want Mickey around but she eventually proves her worth to him and gets to flirt with a young scout played by Justin Timberlake as well.  So, it’s a win-win.

 I don’t know much about baseball (beyond the fact that my sister Erin yells at the TV a lot whenever the Rangers are playing) but Trouble With The Curve is such a predictable movie that you really don’t have to know much about the game to be able to follow the plot.  That said, Trouble With The Curve might be predictable but it’s also a genuinely sweet and likable film.  Timberlake and Adams make for a really cute couple and it’s always fun to watch Eastwood growl at a world that never fails to disappoint him.

6) The Vow (dir by Michael Sucsy)

Paige (Rachel McAdams) and her husband Leo (Channing Tatum) are in a horrific car accident.  Paige is sent flying through the windshield and when she recovers consciousness, she no longer remembers being married or anything else about her life after she first met Leo.  While Leo attempts to get Paige to fall in love with him for a second time, Paige’s parents (Sam Neill and Jessica Lange) attempt to convince her to divorce him and return to her previous life as a pampered law student with a rich fiancée (played by Scott Speedman).

The Vow is a lot like Trouble With The Curve in that it’s totally predictable but, at the same time, it’s so sweet and likable that anyone who complains about the film being too predictable probably doesn’t have a heart.  Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum have a lot of chemistry and anyone who complains that this film is too much like a Lifetime movie has obviously never experienced a really great Lifetime movie.

The State of the Race: The 15 Documentary Semi-Finalists


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There was a lot of Oscar-related news yesterday.  Along with the NYFCC giving their best picture award to Zero Dark Thirty, the Academy’s Documentary branch announced this year’s 15 sem-finalists for the Best Feature Length Documentary Oscar.  From this list, the final five nominees will be selected.

Needless to say, I was happy to see that my favorite documentary of 2012, Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry, made the shortlist.

At the same time, I’m also disappointed that the great ballet documentary First Position was snubbed.

And, finally even though I knew it wouldn’t have been nominated and I’m not saying that it should have been, wouldn’t it have been fun to watch the online critical establishment descend into mass hysteria if 2016: Obama’s America had somehow appeared on the list of semi-finalists?

“Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry”

“Bully”

“Chasing Ice”

“Detropia” 


“Ethel” 


“5 Broken Cameras”

“The Gatekeepers”

“The House I Live In”

“How to Survive a Plague”

“The Imposter”

“The Invisible War”

“Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God” 


“Searching for Sugar Man” 


“This Is Not a Film” 


“The Waiting Room”

 

The New York Film Critics Circle Has Spoken


Zero Dark Thirty

Yesterday, the New York Film Critics Circle weighed in on the Oscar race.  The NYFCC is one of the oldest and most respected of the professional critic organizations.  As far as the state of the Oscar race is concerned, the NYFCC actually wields some influence.  In other words, the NYFCC help to build the bandwagon that all the other little toadsuckers will eventually jump on.

Here are the winners:

Best Picture: Zero Dark Thirty

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln

Best Actress: Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea

Best Supporting Actor: Matthew McConaughey, Bernie and Magic Mike

Best Supporting Actress: Sally Field, Lincoln

Best Screenplay: Tony Kushner for Lincoln

Best Cinematography: Greg Fraiser, Zero Dark Thirty

Best Foreign Language Film: Amour

Best Animated Film: Frankenweenie

Best Documentary: The Central Park Five

On a personal note, I apologize for the delay in getting these results posted to the site.  However, last night, I was pretty busy teaching my very first dance class.  Yay me!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #57: Dragon Wasps (dir by Joe Knee)


Last night, I turned on the SyFy Network and, along with about 50 other people on twitter, I watched a little film called Dragon Wasps.

Dragon WaspsWhy Was I Watching It?

The movie was on the SyFy network and it was called Dragon Wasps.  Speaking for myself, I hate and fear wasps but I love dragons and I’ve got several kimonos to prove it.   Seriously, how could I not watch this film?

What Was It About?

A scientist named Gina (Dominika Juillet) goes to Brazil to search for her missing father and manages to convince a group of soldiers led by Corin Nemec to help her look.  This, of course, eventually leads to everyone getting captured by a bunch of drug smugglers led by a guy named Jaguar.  Eventually, about halfway through the film, the Dragon Wasps finally show up and it turns out that the best way to protect yourself from a giant, fire-breathing wasp is to rub cocaine all over your skin.

Oh, and did you know that baby dragon wasps can climb into your ear and make your head explode?  Because they so totally can!

It’s kind of a weird movie.

What Worked?

The dragon wasps were pretty neat and whenever they were buzzing across the screen and breathing fire on the people below, the film worked.

What Did Not Work?

Unfortunately, the dragon wasps only got about 15 minutes of screen time.  The rest of the movie dealt with the Gina and her friend Rhonda wandering through the jungles of Brazil in their Ugg boots and claiming that the best way to repel an insect is to smell like a dead insect.  We were dubious about that claim on twitter so I did a Google search and it turns out that is actually true.  It says a lot of about this film that I originally assumed that it must be false just because I heard about it from Gina and Rhonda.

“OH MY GOD!  Just like me!” Moment

At one point, Corin Nemec orders Gina to steal a lot of explosives from Jaguar’s drug compound.  Gina does so but once they get to the Dragon Wasp Nest, they discover that Gina accidentally grabbed several packets of cocaine.

“It’s not my fault!” Gina exclaims, “C4 and cocaine look exactly alike!”

A lot of people might make fun of this scene but I have a feeling that I would do the exact same thing.

Lessons Learned

C4 and cocaine look exactly alike.

A Blast From The Past: Curious Alice (1968)


So, early this morning, Jeff and I went down to the AMC Valley View, located at Valley View Mall in Dallas, Texas.  We went down there so that we could see the new Brad Pitt film, Killing Them Softly.  I was really looking forward to seeing this film because I’ve read several positive reviews and, after taking most of November off, I’m ready to get back to my usual routine of reviewing several films  a week.  Killing Them Softly seemed like the perfect film for me to begin my December review cycle with.

Unfortunately, within minutes of us taking out seats in the theater, an alarm suddenly went off, the lights started to flash, and an automated voice ordered us to not only leave the theater but do so in an orderly fashion as well.

Yes, that’s right.  Somebody pulled a fire alarm and, as a result, no one got to see a movie at Valley View this morning.  Jeff and I were given two re-admit passes for our trouble.

(On the plus side, the entire staff of AMC Valley View handled the situation calmly and professionally and, if you’re reading this AMC CEO, they all deserve a huge raise.)

Now, at first, we thought we’d just hang out around the theater until the next showing of Killing Them Softly.  In between people watching with Jeff and updating my Facebook status, I did some pointe work and attempted to introduce the disgruntled AMC patrons to the beauty of ballet.

Unfortunately, most of them didn’t care  and since, between the two of us, Jeff and I have a combined attention span of 4 minutes, we quickly got bored and decided that we would use our passes to catch Killing Them Softly later this week.

Instead, we went back to my place and we investigated the DVR, searching for some hidden gem of entertainment.  Believe it or not, we found it.  The 1968 anti-drug educational film Curious Alice was on TCM last night and, wisely, I set the DVR to record it.

Seriously, you have to watch this:

Scenes I Love: The Final Five Minutes Of Trip With The Teacher


Yesterday, Arleigh shared the opening of John Woo’s The Killer.  For today’s scene that I love, I’m going to do the opposite and share the final five minutes of the 1975 exploitation film Trip With The Teacher.

Why is this a scene that I love?  Well, first off, you have to understand that Trip With The Teacher is a drive-in film from the 1970s and the final five minutes really are the epitome of low-budget 1970s cinema.  From the false feel of the happy ending to the insanely catchy (and borderline annoying) closing music, Trip With The Teacher feels like it should be in a time capsule.

However, the main reason why I love the end of Trip With The Teacher is because of what happens after the credits.  We get a montage of scenes featuring (and identifying) the film’s cast.  I love these type of cast montages because, while watching these randomly selected scenes and listening to these film’s closing music, it’s always tempting to imagine that these scenes have all been taken from a different, better film.  As such, you can take these random scenes and imagine the film that they could have been taken from.

Go ahead and try it.  It’s fun!

A Blast From The Past: The Gossip (1955)


Last week, I shared The Snob, an educational film from 1958.  Today’s short film — 1955’s The Gossip — is from the same people who gave us The Snob and it has also become something of a personal obsession of mine.  While it’s not as intense as the Snob, the Gossip is still a pretty accurate look at the type of people that every girl has had to deal with at some point in her life.  If nothing else, The Gossip was the Mean Girls of its day.

(That said, it’s interesting to note that, in the 50s, all the gossip centered on who was cheating on tests as opposed to who was cheating on who.)

Like The Snob, The Gossip was directed by Herk Harvey and stars Vera Stough.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #56: Dumb and Dumber (dir by Peter and Bobby Farrelly)


Last night, I turned on Comedy Central and I watched the 1994 comedy Dumb and Dumber.

Why Was I Watching It?

Last night was my first time to ever sit down and watch Dumb and Dumber from beginning to end.  I had seen several clips on YouTube and I had been assured by many people that Dumb and Dumber was one of the funniest movies ever made.  Last night, since SyFy was not showing an original movie, I decided to find out for myself.

What Was It About?

Harry (played by Jeff Daniels) is dumb and Lloyd (Jim Carrey) is dumber.  Harry has messy hair and Lloyd has a chipped tooth.  They end up getting kicked out of their depressing apartment and this somehow leads to them going on a road trip from Rhode Island to Colorado.  They’re looking for Lloyd’s dream girl, Mary (Lauren Holly).  Along the way, they’re pursued by a gangsters and engage in a lot of disgusting adventures.  It’s a dumb movie about dumb people doing dumb things.

What Worked?

I laughed once while watching the film.  It was a weary laugh that was largely the result of being slowly worn down by the film’s insistence that what I was watching was actually funny.  It wasn’t a sincere laugh.  It was a laugh of surrender but it was a laugh nonetheless.

Jeff Daniels is currently best known for playing Will McAvoy, the smug and condescending center of HBO’s The Newsroom.  That show’s pilot famously started off with McAvoy declaring that the millenials are the “WORST.  GENERATION.  EVER.”  As a member of the WORST.  GENERATION.  EVER, I have to say that there was something oddly satisfying about seeing Jeff Daniels getting continually humiliated (and, at one point, set on fire) in Dumb and Dumber.

What Did Not Work?

Just to judge by the reaction on twitter while Dumb and Dumber was playing, a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this but Dumb and Dumber sucks.  Seriously.  The film’s constant gross-out humor felt more lazy than clever and watching it quickly became as tedious as watching a commercial featuring a celebrity talking to their iPhone.  As I watched Dumb and Dumber, I found myself constantly checking the time and wondering, “Is the film ever going to actually get funny?”

One of the keys to succesful film comedy is that you have to believe that the characters have an actual stake in the film’s plot, regardless of how ludicrous or over-the-top the plot may get.  That stake is the difference between silly and funny.  With Jeff Daniels looking extremely uncomfortable and Jim Carrey apparently acting in a separate movie from everyone else, Dumb and Dumber is silly without ever really being funny.

Maybe it was easier to make people laugh in 1994.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

For once, I’m glad to say that a movie featured absolutely no “Oh my God!  Just like me!” moments.

Actually, I take that back.  Both me and Lauren Holly have the same hair color.  So, that was just like me.

But that is it!

Lessons Learned

Comedy, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.