Horror Film Review: The Blob (dir. by Chuck Russell)


“Listen to me, Briggs, think for a minute, do you suppose an army of guys in plastic suits show up every time a meteor falls?” — Brian Flagg

A monster doesn’t need claws, teeth, or even a face to ruin your evening. Sometimes a wobbling mass of pink slime will do just fine, especially when the filmmakers know how to make every inch of it look hungry. Chuck Russell’s The Blob (1988) takes a premise that could easily inspire nothing but giggles and turns it into a nasty, energetic horror show. A more cynical and violent remake of the original 1958 creature feature, it succeeds by taking its ridiculous threat seriously without forgetting how much fun a ridiculous threat can be. The movie has a wonderfully direct goal: make you squirm, then make you enjoy it.

The setup wastes little time getting things moving. Something falls from the sky near the small California town of Arborville, a curious man gets too close, and an unpleasant discovery becomes a rapidly growing emergency. Among those caught in the chaos are cheerleader Meg Penny, played by Shawnee Smith, and local rebel Brian Flagg, played by Kevin Dillon. Russell and co-writer Frank Darabont (yes, that Frank Darabont) introduce their community through familiar faces and recognizable social divisions. You don’t need an elaborate history of the town to understand it. A few interactions establish who belongs, who gets judged, and who assumes they have everything under control.

That economical approach is one of the movie’s strengths. Rather than spending ages explaining why you should care, it gives the characters enough personality to register and lets the situation do the rest. The familiarity also creates expectations that the film enjoys upsetting. Certain people seem important, certain places seem safe, and certain decisions seem sensible. None of those impressions is especially reliable. Without spoiling the surprises, the early stretch makes it clear that this isn’t a particularly generous movie toward its characters. That unpredictability gives the action an extra charge because you can’t always settle comfortably into the usual horror-movie rules.

The effects provide the biggest reason to watch, though, and they remain impressively unpleasant. The creature has a thick, sticky physicality that makes it feel like something occupying the same space as its victims. It stretches, swells, and presses into places where nothing that size should fit. The makeup work makes the consequences of contact horribly clear without reducing every attack to the same bloody image. Some shots look more convincing than others, but even the rough edges have charm. There’s visible imagination behind the grotesquerie, and the craftsmanship gives this shapeless thing a stronger screen presence than plenty of monsters with elaborate designs.

What makes those effects work dramatically is Russell’s attention to setting. He doesn’t simply keep dropping the creature in front of another person and repeating the process. A hospital sequence establishes the danger, a diner encounter turns an everyday location into a nightmare, and a phone booth provides a particularly tense confrontation. The movie theater sequence adds a bigger dose of public panic. Each has its own rhythm and identity, which keeps the attacks from blurring together. The details are best left unspoiled, but the overall effect is clear: ordinary spaces become much less comforting when the monster doesn’t need to use the door.

Smith gives the movie its most dependable human presence. Meg could have remained a stock cheerleader reacting to things happening around her, but the film allows her to become increasingly decisive. Smith sells that progression without making it feel like a sudden personality transplant. Meg is scared, sometimes overwhelmed, and still willing to act when someone needs help. That’s a simple foundation for a horror heroine, but it works. She gives the audience someone to follow emotionally while the effects department does its worst. The performance never demands that the movie slow down to admire her courage; it lets her choices establish it.

Dillon has a slightly harder time escaping the shorthand built into Brian. The motorcycle, leather jacket, and long hair make his outsider status obvious almost immediately. A few early moments push the misunderstood-bad-boy routine harder than necessary. Still, Dillon brings an appealing scruffiness to the role, and his attitude fits a story in which respectability doesn’t necessarily equal good judgment. His partnership with Meg works because their differences matter less as the emergency grows. They don’t need elaborate backstories or a heavily emphasized romance to hold the film together. Their shared determination supplies enough momentum between the bigger horror sequences.

The remake’s cynicism becomes especially noticeable when official intervention enters the picture. Without giving away the later developments, the film questions whether looking organized and speaking confidently should automatically earn anyone’s trust. That suspicion gives the story a sharper edge than its goofy monster might suggest. The danger exposes weaknesses in the community rather than simply giving everyone an obvious enemy to unite against. It isn’t deep political analysis, but it doesn’t need to be. The contrast between an openly destructive creature and people claiming to manage the crisis provides another source of tension, making the human side of the disaster feel troubling in its own way.

There are limitations. Several supporting characters are drawn broadly, and some dialogue does little more than announce the personality type delivering it. The explanatory passages aren’t as engaging as the visual storytelling, particularly once the audience already understands the immediate stakes. A few effects shots also strain against the production’s ambitions. Yet Russell rarely lets those problems stall the movie for long. He keeps the pace brisk while giving the suspense enough room to develop. Just as importantly, the occasional humor doesn’t turn the whole thing into a spoof. You can laugh at the situation and still care when it turns ugly.

What ultimately makes The Blob work is the confidence of its execution. It knows its monster is absurd, knows its characters are familiar, and knows the audience came expecting a mess. Then it delivers that mess with enough invention and nerve to make the familiar feel exciting again. The harsher attitude distinguishes it from the original, but the appeal remains refreshingly basic: a town, a growing threat, and people scrambling to stay ahead of it. Russell makes a faceless pile of goo feel like a genuine screen villain. That’s no small achievement for something that looks like it escaped from the dessert table.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.20 “Flare Up”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch is in trouble!

Episode 5.20 “Flare Up”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on March 7th, 1982)

While saving lives and being a badass at the sight of a highway crash, Baker accidentally inhales chlorine gas and has to go to the hospital.  Meanwhile, an embittered young man named Eddie (Alan Stock) claims that Ponch roughed him up at a traffic stop and gave him a black eye.  The truth of the matter is that Eddie hit his head on his steering wheel while he was trying to grab a beer can that had been thrown at him by a couple of obnoxious college students.

Baker survives the chemical attack but it looks like Ponch’s days of patrolling the highway might be over.  Fear not, though.  This is….

You can’t have The Ponch Show without Ponch!  Seriously, if Ponch loses his job, who is going to smile in the face of danger?  Who is going to disco dance?  Who is going to have four women in his apartment, making dinner?  CHiPs is a show of the disco age and it doesn’t get more disco than Erik Estrada.

By an amazing coincidence, another chemical spill produces a cloud of toxic gas that is heading straight for Eddie’s grandfather (Harry Carey, Jr.)  Ponch risks his life to save the old man and a thankful Edddie drops the complaint.  Actually, last week — didn’t someone drop a complaint against Baker after Baker saved someone’s life?  Is CHiPs repeating itself?

Of course, it is!  CHiPs always repeats itself.  That’s kind of the appeal of the show.  It’s predictable, it doesn’t require much thought to enjoy, and there’s always another dramatic car crash to which to look forward.

That’s what CHiPs is all about.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.12 “Hotel of Dreams”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark and Jonathan work at a hotel …. a hotel of dreams!

Episode 1.12 “Hotel of Dreams”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 12th, 1984)

Barry Rudd (Brian Kerwin) may be the son of a wealthy hotel owner but he’s far more comfortable living out in the country, wearing denim and flannel, and helping to raise goats.  However, one day, Barry is summoned to his father’s hotel.  His father even sends a helicopter out to get him.  Barry gets on the helicopter but he insists on bringing his goat with him.

At the hotel, Barry’s father (Jacques Aubuchon) explains that he’s gotten married to a woman who is much younger than him and he needs Barry to run the hotel while he’s on his honeymoon.  Barry is stuck running the snootiest hotel in California, despite the fact that he doesn’t even own a suit and all he really wants to do is look after his goat.  Unfortunately, the hotel has a lot of problems.  The manager (played by Dean Dittman) is a mean-spirited snob who takes bribes from the guests.  A child (Douglas Emerson) is running wild through the halls of the hotel, all because his father is too busy working to keep an eye on him.  Saintly maid Elena (Julie Carmen) does the best job that she can but she’s looked down upon by the guests and the hotel’s manager.

Can Barry solve all of the hotel’s problems and also find time to attend his high school reunion?  Will he stay true to himself or will he sell out in an effort to impress people like his former classmate, Allison Rutledge (Judith-Marie Bergan)?  It’s not going to be easy and Barry doesn’t even know where to begin.  Fortunately, he has some help.  The hotel’s two new bellhops are Jonathan Smith and Mark Gordon!

Especially when compared to the previous two episodes, Hotel of Dreams is a rather light-hearted episode.  There’s nothing particularly surprising to be found in this episode.  Of course, Allison is going to turn out to be a total snob.  Of course, Elena is going to help Barry take care of his goat.  Of course, Barry and Elena are going to fall in love and end up together, all with the help of Jonathan.  And, of course, Mark is going to become a surrogate father figure for the bratty kid.  This is a thoroughly pleasant if not particularly memorable episode, one that plays out more like a pilot for a show about the hotel than an episode about an angel trying to make the world a better place.  Brian Kerwin and Julie Carmen make for an attractive couple and, as the episode ends, you can’t help but hope that Barry and Elena are going spend the rest of their lives raising goats together.

There is an unfortunate moment in this episode when Jonathan gives Mark a hard time for smoking.  When Jonathan tells Mark that he could die if he doesn’t stop smoking, Mark replies that everyone has to die of something.  Mark then asks Jonathan what cause his death.

“Lung cancer,” Jonathan replies.

Victor French, who played Mark, would die of lung cancer just five years later.  Shortly afterwards, Michael Landon would also die of cancer.