Music Video of the Day: We Belong Together (2005, dir by Brett Ratner)

Posted on April 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we wish a happy birthday to Eric Roberts!

In our music video of the day, Roberts nearly marries Mariah Carey, just for her to leave him for Wentworth Miller. This video is a sequel to the video for It’s Like That and Mariah wears the same wedding dress when she married music exec Tommy Mottola. (Make of that, what you will.) Personally, I think Eric dodged a bullet here because everyone knows that he and Eliza were meant to be.

Enjoy!

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

THE FAMILY MAN (2000) – Nicolas Cage gets a “glimpse” into a different life!

Posted on December 17, 2024 by Bradley Crain

Nicolas Cage stars as Jack Campbell, a Wall Street hot shot, who puts his success in the business world above everything else in his life. We meet him on Christmas Eve as he’s trying to close a multi-billion dollar merger. He’s making everyone work late and even calls for a work session on Christmas Day. Jack’s administrative assistant gives him a phone message from his former girlfriend Kate (Tea Leoni), who he almost married about 15 years earlier. He’s surprised to hear from her, especially since he essentially chose his career over her all those years ago. That night as he stops at a grocery store on his way home, events transpire so that a desperate man named Cash (Dan Cheadle) pulls a gun on the clerk. Jack is able to use a calm demeanor and business sense to talk to Cash in a way that diffuses the situation and the two leave the store together. As they walk down the street, Jack tries to talk to Cash and help him. When Cash starts asking Jack about his life, Jack indicates that his life is great and he has everything he needs. Interestingly, this is where Cash mysteriously tells Jack that he’s going to do something for him, something he really needs…

The next morning, Christmas morning, Jack wakes up in a different home, he’s married to Kate, and they have two kids and a dog. He’s no longer an investment banker; now he’s a tire salesman. He no longer drives a Ferrari; now he’s drives a mini-van. In panic-mode, Jack runs out of the house as his in-laws arrive, fires up the mini-van, and drives to his office on Wall Street where nobody knows him, and they kick him out of the building. About that time, Cash pulls up in Jack’s Ferrari and tells him that he’s giving him the gift of a “glimpse” into what his life could have been if he had married Kate instead of focusing on himself and his career. So Jack heads back to try life in Jersey, wondering when the glimpse will come to an end.

My wife and I are continuing to watch Christmas movies throughout the month of December to stay in the holiday spirit. THE FAMILY MAN is not necessarily a movie we watch every year, but I’m a fan of Nicolas Cage. I enjoy these types of films where a person sees what their lives could have been like if they had made different decisions at certain key points along the way. An easy comparison can be made to Frank Capra’s IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, which is my personal favorite Christmas movie, and it’s in my top 10 movies of all time. It’s not really an appropriate comparison though. These stories encounter their subjects in two very different places. In IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, George Bailey is at the end of his rope and thinking his family would have been better off if he had never been born. It takes Clarence to reveal just how important George has been to those he loves. In THE FAMILY MAN on the other hand, Jack Campbell is at the top of the world and standing at the precipice of his crowning achievement in his career. He believes his life is wonderful. Cash decides to teach him a lesson by offering a “glimpse” into a life that he could have had if he had chosen Kate and a family over his career. Would life with her be more fulfilling than all the money in the world? I think the sale is a lot easier for Clarence than Cash, and I also think that’s why I found the film to be less compelling. George Bailey’s decision was literally life with a family who dearly loves him, or death. Jack Campbell’s decision is if he wants a middle class life with a loving wife and two precious kids that he only just met, or if he wants to continue his prior life as the multi-millionaire mover and shaker with his pick of beautiful women. It doesn’t help the film’s case either that Jack’s never really presented as being completely empty on the inside or unhappy, say, the way Bill Murray is in SCROOGED. While I personally enjoy the type of life that Jack is able to glimpse, his character’s specific choice is not as obvious, or earned, the way George Bailey’s is.

Overall, as a man who wouldn’t trade my family for all the money in the world, I do appreciate what THE FAMILY MAN is going for. The execution doesn’t quite pull it off in a way that is completely satisfying, and ultimately explains why I don’t watch it every year as a holiday staple.

RUSH HOUR – 1998, a special year for this fan of Hong Kong action cinema!

Posted on December 12, 2024 by Bradley Crain

1998 was certainly a special year for me as a fan of Hong Kong cinema but first let me provide a little context… After 150 years of British rule, Hong Kong was being handed over to communist China on July 1, 1997. This left a lot of uncertainty in Hong Kong’s local film industry. Because of that uncertainty, many of Hong Kong’s most popular filmmakers decided it was time to take their talents abroad. Director John Woo had already left for America in the early 90’s and had made successful films like HARD TARGET, BROKEN ARROW and FACE/OFF. This gets us to 1998, the year that many of Hong Kong’s biggest action stars would release their first American films. Chow Yun-fat would reprise his popular, honorable hitman role in his first American film, THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS, which was produced by John Woo and directed by Antoine Fuqua. Jet Li would make a strong impact as the badass villain in the 4th installment of the LETHAL WEAPON franchise. And then there’s Jackie Chan, probably the biggest of all the Hong Kong movie stars. Jackie had been banging around Hollywood as early as 1980 without a lot of fanfare in the west. But in 1996 Chan had a solid American box office hit when his Hong Kong production RUMBLE IN THE BRONX was dubbed and released in America. Armed with that success and a sizable budget provided by an American studio, Chan would get his own big release in 1998, the action-comedy RUSH HOUR!

In RUSH HOUR, Jackie Chan plays inspector Lee, a Hong Kong police detective who’s also a friend to Chinese Consul Han (Tzi Ma), currently serving in Los Angeles. When Consul Han’s daughter Soo Yung is kidnapped, he asks Lee to come to America to assist him and the FBI in rescuing her. The FBI doesn’t really want Lee’s help so they ask the Los Angeles police department to assign someone, anyone, to stay with Lee and keep an eye on him so he doesn’t get in the way of their investigation. Enter fast-talking, LAPD Detective James Carter. After some initial clashes and disagreements, the mismatched duo eventually begins working together to find the criminal mastermind behind the kidnapping, Juntao.

I watched RUSH HOUR at the movie theater on my birthday in 1998. I loved every second of it. A few weeks later I was on a business trip in Chicago, I told my boss how good the film was, and we went to see it as well. I enjoyed it just as much the 2nd time. I’m a big fan of “buddy cop” films like LETHAL WEAPON and BAD BOYS, and RUSH HOUR is an excellent addition to that sub-genre of action films. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker have an excellent chemistry together. Their comedic interplay is hilarious and entertaining. It’s one of the main reasons I enjoy the movie so much. Jackie Chan was 44 years old when RUSH HOUR was released, but he was still extremely athletic so his brand of martial arts action and comedy still worked. The movie would go on to gross just short of $250 million at the worldwide box office and establish Jackie Chan as a bonafide star in the American film market. 2001’s RUSH HOUR 2 would be an even bigger hit, making almost $350 million worldwide. No one works harder or gives more of himself to his film productions than Jackie Chan, and it was nice seeing him achieve the truly worldwide success that he had earned!

#MondayMuggers – Why TOWER HEIST?

Posted on November 25, 2024 by Bradley Crain

Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday November 25th, we’re watching TOWER HEIST starring Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, and Matthew Broderick.

So why did Sierra pick TOWER HEIST, you might ask? It’s simple. It’s a Thanksgiving movie. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is even used as a key part of the heist strategy! Sierra and I love the holidays and we’re getting in the spirit. We hope watching this movie will enhance your Thanksgiving week!

It’s on Amazon Prime, and we’ll be following along the theatrical edition (NOT the Extended Edition). Join us if you’d like!

Music Video of the Day: A Public Affair by Jessica Simpson (2006, dir by Brett Ratner)

Posted on April 17, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

How famous do you want to be?

This music video features Jessica Simpson and her friends — Christina Applegate, Christina Milian, and Eva Longoria — hitting the roller rink and debating how famous they would like to be. They’re already famous enough that Ryan Seacrest is driving their limo and Andy Dick is handing them their roller skates. What was going on with Andy Dick anyways? I’ve never heard one person, famous or not, describe a positive interaction with Andy Dick but somehow, for a few years, he just seemed to show up everywhere. Were that many people really saying, “I want Dick in 2006.” Wait, that didn’t come out right …. oh well, I’m too lazy to rephrase.

This video was directed by Brett Ratner. There used to be a reality show called On The Lot. It was like American Idol for aspiring filmmakers. One of the guest judges was Brett Ratner and all the contestants were like, “I mean, Brett Ratner is the guy who made me want to make movies!” I always thought that was a weird reason to want to make movies. It was also a weird thing to admit to. I mean, Brett Ratner pretty much is a walking episode of Entourage. That said, Brett has always been pretty honest about being an overgrown frat boy so I don’t get as annoyed with him as I do with certain other directors.

Brett was originally meant to produce one of the recent Oscar telecasts but he had to step down due to some controversial statements he made in the past. Eddie Murphy was scheduled to host but Murphy stepped down as well. Nobody asked Andy Dick to take their place so maybe Hollywood’s gotten over needing Dick. Wait….

Trash Film Guru Vs. The Summer Blockbusters : “Hercules”

Posted on July 26, 2014 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

It’s been a weird week at the movies for yours truly, my friends : first off, I went to the theater three times this week, which almost never happens anymore (what do you think I am, rich?), and secondly, while I enjoyed The Purge : Anarchy about as much as I expected to (which is to say quite a bit), the other two flicks I saw both took me by surprise for different reasons : I was far less impressed with Richard Linklater’s much-celebrated Boyhood than I expected to be, and I ended up liking Brett Ratner’s new take on Hercules waaaaaayyyy more than I figured I was going to.

Though not because of anything Ratner himself did. But we’ll get to all that in a minute.

Full disclosure : I only went to see Hercules because my dad wanted to check it out. He’s a sucker for this kind of thing (he absolutely loves the old Kevin Sorbo TV series), and my mom wouldn’t touch a movie like this with a ten-foot pole, so when he mentioned he was hoping to check it out, I said I’d go with him. We’ve all gotta spend time with our parents while they’re still with us, right? But it’s fair to say, given Ratner’s involvement with this thing, that I wasn’t expecting much.

And ya know? He doesn’t deliver much — the direction here isn’t actively bad by any means, but it’s pretty straightforward stuff : the numerous “big battle” scenes are handled competently, and the actors by and large turn in decent enough performances, but there’s no real unique authorial stamp on any of the proceedings, and frankly, a lot of the CGI is several rungs below what we’ve come to expect from these mega-budget summer popcorn flicks. All in all, technically speaking, it’s a fairly mixed bag.

Why, then, did I find myself pleasantly surprised by this latest (and third so far this year alone, by my count) take on Greek mythology’s most famous demi-god warrior? Simply put, the script offers a neat revisionist take on the hero, and is smart, intelligent, engaging, and surprising — it’s entirely unlike any iteration of the character we’ve seen before, and for my part, I really dug it.

Before I give all of the (or even any) credit to screenwriters Ryan Condal and Evan Spiliotopoulos for this film’s suceess, though, let me state for the record that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is perfectly likable in the title role, and while he may be a pretty conservative casting choice, that’s okay — he’s more or less pitch-perfect and his supporting actors (including Ian McShane, Rufus Sewell, and Ingrid Bolso Berdal as members of his mostly-merry mercenary band and John Hurt and Joseph Fiennes as the film’s principal villains) do their jobs well, too. So kudos to everyone for putting in an honest day’s labor all the way through here. But let’s get back to the novel new twist on the whole legend/premise here, shall we?

This Hercules is radically different to his predecessors not just because he can actually talk (something Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno, and Steve Reeves really weren’t so great at when they tackled the role), but because he a) may not actually be the son of Zeus; b) is leader of a group of freelance soldiers-for-hire; and c) was driven from his home after having name dragged through the mud for supposedly killing his own family. Told’ja this was a new set-up, didn’t I?

There are also some intriguing moral complexities woven into the story that I won’t give away here — hey, I want to keep things at least nominally “spoiler-free” when and where I can — and the interpersonal relationships between Hercules and his fellow travelers — as well as those they lend/sell their services to along the way — have considerably more depth than any reasonable human being would expect from action movie fare such as this. I was both mightily impressed by this intriguing series of twists, and frankly taken more than just a little aback by them. It wasn’t until the end credits rolled that my “aha!” moment came and I realized I shouldn’t have been shocked at all, if only I’d done a little bit of homework beforehand.

As it turns out, Ratner’s film is an adaptation of a comics series (well, two comics series, actually) penned by the late, great Steve Moore. I don’t know much about the publisher of these books, an outfit called Radical Comics , but I do know plenty about Steve Moore, and you should, too. Moore, who passed away from natural causes at his home earlier this year, is probably best known to comics fans as Alan Moore’s best friend (no relation despite sharing the same last name), and was a genuinely remarkable talent and, by all accounts, a genuinely remarkable human being. His comics work was sporadic, but he was at the forefront of the “British Invasion” of the early 1980s with works such as the criminally-underappreciated Laser Eraser And Pressbutton, and outside the field of comics he was a regular contributor to Fortean Times magazine as well as being a part-time musician and experienced occultist. He lived his entire life in the house he was born in and apparently carried on a decades-long erotic/romantic relationship with a moon goddess entity known as Cybele. All in all, then, a thoroughly interesting guy, as well as being an insanely talented creative force.

I wish I’d known about his Herclues comics when they came out — I don’t know if they just didn’t get very good US distribution or what (the cover of the first issue is pictured above), but I honestly don’t recall ever seeing a single copy of any of them out on the shelves at my local comic shop, and I’m there every week. A quick search on Amazon shows that two trade paperback collections of the series are available, but one is out of print and commanding rather high prices. Oh well, think I’ll probably order it up anyway.

Here’s the kicker, though — as much as I enjoyed this flick, now I feel kinda bad for having shelled out any cash on it. Why, you ask? Because Steve Moore’s surviving family isn’t getting a dime off it. A quick Google search shows that Alan Moore has been absolutely up in arms about how his recently-deceased friend (and, in many respects, mentor) has been screwed over by the producers of the film, and he’s called for a boycott of it. I know, I know — Moore’s got a reputation for being a curmudgeon and for telling people not to buy, well, anything, but the damn thing is, more often than not, he’s absolutely right. The cinematic adaptation of The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen was, in fact, every bit as horrendous as he claimed it was going to be, the Before Watchmen comics were by and large positively awful, and the V For Vendetta movie was an atrocious dumbing-down of his far superior original work. Yeah, he was none too pleased about the Watchmen film, either, but I won’t use that as an example of him being correct because by and large I kinda liked that one. Still, his criticisms are spot-on more often than not.

So here’s what I’m thinking knowing what I know now : Ratner’s Hercules is, in fact, a far superior effort than I felt sure it would be going in, yes — but it’s probably nowhere near as good as the comics it was based on, and the fact that Steve Moore got swindled — even (and especially) after death — from seeing so much as a penny from a big-budget adaptation of his work is positively unconscionable. Again, I haven’t read any of these comics yet, but it’s a safe bet that anything good that survived the translation from the printed page to the screen is only there because Steve Moore put it there in the first place. In short, he’s the main reason this movie is actually pretty damn good, and that makes perfect sense when you think about it because you know full well Ratner isn’t capable of delivering the goods on his own. We all remember Red Dragon, don’t we?

Okay, fair enough — I’ve tried my best to put that out of my mind, too.

So in the end I guess I’m left with something of an ethical conundrum here — I liked Herclues. I really did. But mostly for its unique and original story. And now that I know the story behind that story (whoops, I’m being repetitious here, sorry), I sorta wish I’d never seen the thing. Okay, on that note. I’m off to Amazon to order up these books.

Trailer #2: Hercules

Posted on June 4, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, apparently, somebody out there was very smart and realized that, as far as titles go, Hercules: The Thracian Wars was incredibly unwieldy. As a result, the film’s title has been shortened to simply Hercules, which is what everyone was going to call it anyway.

(Except for maybe the people of Thrace…)

Having watched this trailer, I really can’t say that I am in any way excited about the prospect of watching Hercules. I like Dwayne Johnson and this would seem to be a perfect role for him but the trailer just feels so generic that it could just as easily been a trailer for The Legend of Hercules.

Or, to put it another way, if I hadn’t already known that this film was directed by Brett Ratner, I would have guessed on the basis of the trailer.

Personally, I’d like to see a movie about Pandora and the box.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLEYTeh0hWc

Is It Too Late To Hate On Movie 43?

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Originally, I wasn’t planning on ever seeing Movie 43.

Remember Movie 43? That’s the comedy with the huge ensemble cast that came out in January and stayed in theaters for about a week. The trailers looked terrible, the commercials looked terrible, and finally, the reviews were terrible. In fact, the reviews were so terrible (Richard Roeper called it the Citizen Kane of bad movies) that, at first, I was perfectly content never to see it.

However, as time passed, I continually heard Movie 43 referred to as being one of the worst films ever made. Every 12 months, I post my picks for the 26 worst films of the year and I knew that Movie 43 was one of those films that would either appear on that list or, if it didn’t, I would have to be willing to defend the title’s absence.

I realized that before I could either defend or condemn, I would have to sit through the movie. After all, I figured, it’s only 90 minutes of my life.

90 minutes that I’ll never get back, I might add.

Movie 43 is an anthology film in which 13 separate comedic sketches are loosely linked together by one overarching story. For the most part, this is a film that was presumably made both for adolescent boys and for men who still think like adolescent boys. Most of the humor is derived from bodily functions and there’s a real strain of misogyny running through the entire film. However, the film’s problem is not that it’s crude and misogynistic but that it manages to be so dull about being crude and misogynistic. If you think its hilarious when Meg is insulted on Family Guy or when Seth McFarlane smirks after making an anti-Semitic comment, you might enjoy Movie 43 but the rest of us are going to find far less to enjoy.

Oddly enough, there are actually two different versions of Movie 43 in circulation. In the version that was released in U.S. theaters, the various vignettes are tied together by a story in which an insane director (Dennis Quaid) pitches scene after scene to a callous movie executive (Greg Kinnear). In the version that was released in the UK, they’re linked together by a story about 3 teenagers searching for the most offensive film ever made. To be honest, both versions are pretty stupid but I prefer the one about the 3 teenagers, if just because that way I can pretend that neither Dennis Quaid nor Greg Kinnear had anything to do with this movie.

As for the sketches themselves, there’s 13 of them and they are a mixed bag as far as both humor and quality are concerned:

1) The Catch (dir by Peter Farrelly)

Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman go on a blind date. Jackman has testicles hanging from his neck and only Winslet thinks this is an odd thing. This skit goes on forever.

2) Homeschooled (dir by Will Graham)

Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts explain how they’re making sure that their teenage son is getting the full high school experience despite the fact that he’s being homeschooled. They do this through a combination of hazing and incest. This skit worked pretty well, mostly because of the dedication that Schreiber and Watts brought to their absurd roles.

3) The Proposition (dir by Steve Carr)

Uhmm…yeah. So, this is the skit that opens with Anna Faris asking Chris Pratt to defecate on her. I skipped over it because, quite frankly, life is too short.

4) Veronica (dir by Griffin Dunne)

Neil (Kieran Culkin) is working the night shift at a depressing grocery store when his ex-girlfriend Veronica (Emma Stone) comes in. They argue about who infected who with an STD. Little do they realize that Neil has accidentally turned on the intercom and everyone in the store can hear them. I actually kind of liked this short skit. Culkin and Stone had a lot of chemistry and it was well-directed by Griffin Dunne. Plus, it only lasted 2 minutes and, therefore, ended before the joke got old.

5) iBabe (dir by Stephen Brill)

The iBabe is an MP3 player that happens to look like a life-size nude woman. Unfortunately, a fan was built into the iBabe’s vagina and now, teenage boys are being dismembered while fingering and fucking iBabe. Richard Gere plays the President of the company that makes iBabe. I’ve never thought of Richard Gere as being a comedic actor and his performance here does nothing to change that.

6) Superhero Speed Dating (directed by James Duffy)

Robin (Justin Long) goes speed dating and Batman (Jason Sudekis) tries to mess things up for him. This skit – which also features (and wastes) Uma Thurman, Kristen Bell, and Bobby Cannavale – is so incredibly bad that I don’t even know where to begin. Between this film and his appearance in last year’s The Conspirator, I’m having to rethink my slight crush on Justin Long.

7) Machine Kids (directed by Jonathan Von Tulleken)

This commercial parody asks us to consider the children who work inside copiers and vending machines and how they are effected when we criticize those machines for not accepting our dollar. This was actually so weird that I couldn’t help but love it.

8) Middleschool Date (dir by Elizabeth Banks)

7^th grader Amanda (Chloe Moretz) is having her first “middle school” date with Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) when she starts her first period. In response, Nathan and his older brother (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) panic. Believe it or not, this was actually one of the better parts of Movie 43, if just because the scene’s humor comes not from Amanda getting her period but instead from how every male around her descends into histrionics as a result. It helps that this was the only part of Movie 43 that was both written and directed by women. It also helps that director Elizabeth Banks is so clearly on Amanda’s side. The end result is one of the few moments in Movie 43 that doesn’t feel misogynistic.

9) Tampax (dir by Patrik Forsberg)

This is another fake commercial. Two girls are at the beach. One uses tampax tampons and the other doesn’t. Guess which one gets eaten by a shark? As opposed to the previous skit, this bit of menstrual humor was obviously written and directed by a man (and the message, not surprisingly, is “Ewww! Girls are scary and dangerous!”) but I’m going to have to admit that this one made me laugh if just because, like Middleschool Date, it reminded me of some of the period horror stories that I used to hear (and believe) back when I was younger. (Though I was raised to be more concerned about bears than sharks…)

10) Happy Birthday (dir by that noted comedian, Brett Ratner)

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) kidnaps an angry leprechaun (Gerard Butler) and gives it to Brian (Seann William Scott). The leprechaun’s equally angry brother (also played by Gerard Butler) shows up and violence ensues. Watching this skit was like being told a joke by someone who has no sense of humor.

11) Truth or Dare (dir by Peter Farelly and Patrik Forsberg)

Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant are on a first date and Merchant has testicles on his neck…oh wait. Sorry, that was Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet’s skit. In this skit, Berry challenges Merchant to game of truth or dare. It escalates as the dares get continually more and more outrageous. Whoops? Did I say outrageous? I meant to say stupid and oddly dull. Watching this skit was like listening to a someone who has no sense of humor continue to tell a joke even though everyone else has already guessed the punchline.

12) Victory’s Glory (dir by Rusty Cundieff)

In this parody of “inspirational” sports movies, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) speaks to his basketball team before they play their first game against an all-white team. The gist of the speech is that Jackson’s team is going to win because they’re black and the other team is white. This skit started out strong but, like a lot of Movie 43, it ran on for a bit too long.

13) Beezel (dir by James Gunn)

This was actually my favorite part of Movie 43. Unfortunately, since Beezel shows up in the middle of the end credits, I get the feeling that a lot of disappointed audience members had probably already walked out of the theater before it even began. Beezel is a cartoon cat who has an unhealthy obsession with his owner (Josh Duhamel). When Duhamel’s girlfriend (played by Elizabeth Banks) catches Beezel masturbating to pictures of Duhamel in a swimsuit, Beezel responds by plotting her demise. Beezel was actually the only part of Movie 43 that truly felt edgy and unpredictable. This is largely because this segment was directed by James Gunn, one of the few truly transgressive artists currently working in mainstream film.

So, here’s the question: is Movie 43 the worst film of 2013 as so many critics have claimed? A few isolated moments aside, Movie 43 is pretty bad. Even the parts of the film that do work can’t hope to compete with the pure horrifying incompetence of that parts that don’t. However, thanks largely to James Gunn and Elizabeth Banks, it’s still a smidgen or so better than Tyler Perry’s Temptation. (For all of its failings, Movie 43 never suggests that AIDS is God’s way of punishing wives who stray. Nope, for that message, you have to go to Tyler Perry.)

Movie 43 is not the worst film of 2013.

It just seems like it.

Poll: Who Would Be The Perfect Oscar Host?

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

While I was off celebrating my birthday yesterday and my fellow editors were putting together Lisa Day here on the Shattered Lens (and I have to say — thank you and I love you all!), some really silly and stupid things were going on as far as next year’s Oscar ceremony is concerned. Basically, to recap, notoriously bad director Brett Ratner was hired to produce the upcoming Oscar telecast because — well, I’m not sure why. I mean, doesn’t Brett Ratner kinda represent everything about the film industry that the Academy usually tried to pretend doesn’t exist? Anyway, Ratner convinced Eddie Murphy to host the show. Ratner then apparently commented that “rehearsing is for fags.” Naturally, this led to a lot of people getting upset, even though none of them were apparently upset by all the sexist and homophobic comments Ratner made before he was hired to produce the ceremony. Ratner then stepped down as producer, which was expected. What wasn’t expected was that Eddie Murphy would follow by stepping down as host.

So, now, Brian Grazer (who is probably about as Hollywood establishment as you can get) is producing the show and looking for a new host. Now, there’s been some speculation that the job might go to Billy Crystal or maybe even Robin Williams (and all I can say to that is “Please God — no!”). Myself, I’m hoping that they surprise us by going with someone totally unexpected — like maybe Joel McHale or the nosy kittens waiting to be fed. Or maybe even me!

So, with all that in mind, who do you think would make the perfect Oscar host? Vote once, vote often.

Eddie Murphy?

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I don’t follow football, baseball, or any other sport created by putting something random before the word “ball.” Why would I ever need sports when I’ve got the Oscars? A few nights ago, I found myself asking Arleigh just what exactly was meant by all this talk of “fantasy football.” Seriously, I assumed that it was some sort of football team made up of hobbits, elves, and talking Narnia animals. Turns out I was wrong but it also turns out that whereas some of you have got your fantasy football drafts, I’ve got my fantasy Oscar season. And you know what? My fantasy Oscars always turn out to be a lot more interesting than the real Oscars.

But, ultimately, it’s the real Oscars that matter and, as we enter the Fall, the real Oscar season is heating up. Not only are the self-styled Oscar contenders lining up to be released but the pieces of the eventual ceremony are starting to come together as well.

Each year, one of the most important pieces of the ceremony is the announcement of just who exactly will be hosting the big event. Last year, James Franco and Anne Hathaway were announced as hosts and we all know how that eventually went. Perhaps that’s why the producer of the upcoming show, hack director Brett Ratner, has decided to go the opposite direction. Rather than picking someone who represents the future of Hollywood, he has instead picked someone who very much represents the past.

The host of the 84th Academy Awards will be Eddie Murphy.

Perhaps not coincidentally, Eddie Murphy is also appearing in Ratner’s upcoming film, Tower Heist. (By the way, I’ve already predicted that Tower Heist is going to suck just on the basis of the trailer. Hopefully, I’ll be wrong because, quite frankly, it makes me happy when Ben Stiller gets to appear in a good film. But seriously — even the title is lazy.)

I can’t really say for sure how I feel about Eddie Murphy as host of the Oscars because, to be honest, I really haven’t seen that many of his films. I thought he was kinda good in Dreamgirls but otherwise, Eddie Murphy has always come across as being … well, the term that comes to mind is “washed up.”

Personally, I’m a part of the minority who feels that Anne Hathaway and James Franco weren’t half as bad as everyone seems to think. Hathaway, I felt was likable and goofy and Franco — well, I kinda sorta like James Franco. The fact that the two of them were so ill-suited for their hosting duties brought a very nice sort of unpredictable vibe to the show. You never knew if James Franco was going to suddenly chop his arm off on-camera.

Say what you will about Eddie Murphy, I know he’s not going to chop off his arm on live TV.