A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Judge (dir by David Dobkin)

Posted on October 21, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hey, everyone!

Remember how, earlier this year, a whole lot of people (like me) figured that The Judge would be a surefire Oscar contender and that Robert Duvall would probably receive an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor?

At the time, it made perfect sense. After all, in the past, courtroom dramas have occasionally been popular with the Academy and, while we all knew that The Judge probably wouldn’t be a modern-day Anatomy of a Murder, there was still reason to hope that the film would turn out to be a watchable melodrama. Add to that, the movie starred Robert Downey, Jr, an actor who is eventually going to win an Academy Award. Perhaps most importantly, the title character was played by Robert Duvall, one of the best American actors of all time and an actor who, having recently turned 83, might not get many more opportunities to win one final career-honoring Oscar.

It only made sense to assume that The Judge would be a contender.

And then the trailer came out and those of us who know our film history were left a little bit confused. It wasn’t that the trailer was necessarily bad. It was just that it made the film seem rather old-fashioned. It didn’t feel like a trailer for a film that was set to be released in 2014. If anything, it almost felt like a parody, as if it was one of those fake, overly Hollywood trailers that appeared at the beginning of Tropic Thunder. (The fact that the trailer featured Robert Downey, Jr. looking haunted only contributed to this feeling.)

And then the film opened and received reviews that were, at best, respectful and, at worst, scathing. And I quickly revised my Oscar predictions.

Despite the bad reviews and my own suspicion that the film would not be very good, I still wanted to see The Judge. I love melodrama. I love courtroom dramas. Even more importantly, the Roberts are two of my favorite actors. Robert Downey, Jr. is always a lot of fun to watch. Robert Duvall began his career playing Boo Radley in To Kill A Mockingbird and, 52 years later, he’s still a great and uniquely American actor.

So, I saw The Judge this weekend and … well, it’s just a weird movie and not in a good way. Instead, it’s one of those movies where almost everything seems to be so strangely miscalculated that you really can’t imagine how it could have possibly happened. The film runs for nearly two and a half hours, despite only having enough plot for maybe an hour-long pilot for a potential mid-season replacement. The script is amazingly overwritten, full of portentous speeches and clichéd characters. It’s not enough that Robert Downey, Jr. has two brothers that he has to reconnect with while defending their father on a murder charge. Instead, one of the brothers also has to be vaguely developmentally challenged so that he can deliver cute lines that are full of “accidental wisdom.” It’s not enough that Downey reunites with his ex-high school girlfriend (Vera Farmiga, who deserves a better role) but she also has to have a daughter who might be his but could be someone else’s. It’s not enough that Billy Bob Thornton’s prosecuting attorney is slick and cunning but he also has to be a self-righteous crusader who has rather silly personal reasons for wanting to defeat Downey in court. It’s not enough that Downey and Duvall eventually end up yelling their personal grievances each other. Instead, they have to do it while a tornado literally tears through the front yard, the type of directorial choice that is so obvious and heavy-handed that it indicates that director David Dobkin (best known for directing comedies like Wedding Crashers) was desperate to prove that he could be dramatic.

Much like the similarly bad Love and Other Drugs, The Judge is one of those films that tries so hard to be all things to all viewers that it’s ultimately just a huge mess. Is it a murder mystery? If so, you have to wonder why we learn so little about the case against Duvall’s judge. Is it a romantic comedy about Robert Downey, Jr. returning to his small hometown and rediscovering what’s important in life? If so, you have to wish that the town had a little bit more character beyond just being a standard Hollywood version of what middle America is like. Is it a family drama? Well, then it would be nice to know more about the family dynamic beyond the fact that Duvall was stern, Downey was rebellious, and Vincent D’Onofrio is stuck playing the brother who never got to leave home. It’s a comedy with few laughs and a drama with few tears and ultimately, The Judge just does not work.

However, both of the Roberts give pretty good performances. That’s what makes The Judge truly frustrating. Duvall and Downey both do such good work but the material ultimately not only lets them down but lets the audiences down as well.

Oh well.

Back to School #64: Friday Night Lights (dir by Peter Berg)

Posted on September 20, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For the past three weeks, I’ve been looking at some of the best, worst, most memorable, and most forgettable high school and teen films ever made. I’ve been posting the reviews in chronological order and, as I look back over the previous 63 Back to School reviews, one thing that I can’t escape is football.

It’s funny. Despite being a Texas girl, I know very little about football and, whenever I have found myself watching a game, I’ve usually end up getting bored out of my mind. I’m not a huge fan of sports films, either. It’s just not my thing. And yet, as a result of doing this series of reviews, I’ve watched more football films over the past month than I had probably seen in my entire life previously. Some of the films that I’ve reviewed specifically were football films — The Pom Pom Girls, All The Right Moves, and Varsity Blues, for example. However, even the film that weren’t specifically about the sport often featured scenes set on the football field. Just think of Forest Whitaker in Fast Times At Ridgemont High or the socially conflicted jocks from Dazed and Confused.

For a lot of films, football and high school seem to go together. And one of the most acclaimed high school football films is 2004’s Friday Night Lights. Now, I have to admit that Friday Night Lights is not one of my favorite films. It’s a football film, I’m not into football, and therefore, Friday Night Lights is a film that I respect more as a well-made film than like as a source of entertainment. Perhaps the best thing that I can say about Friday Night Lights is that I understand why so many people who do love football also happen to love this film.

And I do have to say that I appreciate that Friday Night Lights is also a film about Texas that actually manages to realistically portray my home state without resorting to the predictable clichés that dominated Varsity Blues.

Taking place in Odessa, Texas, Friday Night Lights follows the 1988 season of the Permian Panthers. As opposed to most sports films, Friday Night Lights does not focus on a team of lovable underdogs. Instead, the Panthers are already known for being a championship team. As the season begins, Coach Gary Gaines (Billy Bob Thornton) is under tremendous pressure to continue that winning tradition. However, when the team’s star player is injured during the first game of the season, the Panthers suddenly find their pre-ordained winning season in doubt. Gaines finds himself being alternatively celebrated and demonized depending on how the previous night’s game has gone and his players find themselves under tremendous pressure from everyone in town. The film features a great performance from Billy Bob Thornton and a really good one from Derek Luke, playing a player who abruptly goes from being a future superstar to a present could-have-been. In fact, the entire film is well-acted with even country singer Tim McGraw giving a surprisingly multi-faceted performance as a former player-turned-drunk.

In short, Friday Night Lights is a lot like Varsity Blues, except that it doesn’t suck.

(Incidentally, Friday Night Lights did inspire a TV series. I never watched it.)

Embracing the Melodrama #42: Indecent Proposal (dir by Adrian Lyne)

Posted on July 10, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This one is just dumb.

First released in 1993 and something of a perennial on AMC, Indecent Proposal tells the story of David (Woody Harrelson) and Diane (Demi Moore), two kids who meet in high school, get married, and end up living what, in Hollywood, passes for an average, middle class lifestyle — which is to say, Diane is a successful real estate broker, David is an architect, and they’re in the process of building their dream house on the beach. (Just like everyone else you know, right?) However, the economy goes bad, David loses his job, and they find themselves deep in debt.

Desperately, they decide to take a gamble. Literally. They go to Las Vegas and, at first, it seems like everything’s going to be alright. David has a run of luck and makes a lot of money. They make so much money that David and Diane end up having sex on top of it. Now, I have to admit, if I ever won $25,000 dollars in Vegas, I would probably spread it on a bed and roll around naked on it as well. But only if it was paper money. Coins would probably be uncomfortable and I’d hate to end up with a hundred little impressions of George Washington’s profile running up and down my body.

But anyway, David and Diane make the mistake of sticking around in Vegas for a second day and they end up losing all of the money that they previously won and you better believe that when the chips are pulled away, Diane is shown trying grab them in slow motion while going, “Noooooo!” Soon, David and Diane are sitting in an all-night diner and trying to figure out what to do next. A waitress overhears them and sadly shakes her head. Obviously, she’s seen a lot of movies about Las Vegas.

Anyway, this movie is too dumb to waste this many words on its plot so let’s just get to the point. David and Diane meets John Gage (Robert Redford), a millionaire who offers to give David a million dollars in exchange for having one (and only one) commitment-free night with Diane. David and Diane agree and then spend the rest of the movie agonizing over their decision. Eventually, this leads to Diane and David splitting up, John Gage reentering the picture and proving himself to be not such a bad guy, and David eventually buying a hippo.

It’s all really dumb.

Anyway, I was planning on making quite a few points about this set-up but, quite frankly, this film is so dumb that I’m getting annoyed just writing this review. So, instead of breaking this all down scene-by-scene, I’m just going to point out a few things and then move on to better melodramas.

1) Every character in the movie has a scene where they eventually ask what we (the viewing audience) would do if we were in a similar situation. “Would you have sex for a million dollars?” Well, let’s see. Basically, the deal seems to be that you have safe, non-kinky, missionary position sex with a millionaire who you will never have to see again after you get paid. And you’re getting a million dollars in return. Would I do it? OF COURSE, I’D DO IT! It’s a million dollars, it’s just one night, and it’s not like you’re being asked to fuck Vladimer Putin or something. If the film wanted to create a true moral dilemma, they should have cast someone other than Robert Redford as John Gage and they should have had Gage propose something more than just one night. If Gage had been played by an unappealing actor (or perhaps if the film were made today with Redford looking as craggly as he did in Capt. America or All Is Lost) or if it had been a million dollars for Diane to serve as a member of Gage’s harem for a year, the film would have been far different and perhaps not any better but at least all of the subsequent angst would have made sense.

2) What really annoyed me is that, after Diane returns from her night with Gage, neither she nor her husband ever cash that million dollar check. If you’re going to agree to the stupid deal, at least take advantage of it.

3) Finally, why would you accept a check for something like that? Did Gage write, “For letting me fuck your wife” in the memo line? Why not get paid in cash so, at the very least, you don’t have to deal with IRS?

Seriously, this movie is just dumb.

Scenes I Love: Tombstone

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Arleigh

Kurt Russell I consider one of the biggest badasses of Hollywood and his work in 1993’s Tombstone showed just how much a badass he was and still is.

This scene from that film was one of the best scenes in the entire film. It shows Russell channeling his inner-Wyatt Earp and bitchslapping Billy Bob Thornton (who probably deserves it both in and out of this film). I just love how his demeanor was so confident and how well he judged Thornton’s character as nothing but a blowhard and a bully. This scene even has some killer lines from Russell. How often have we wished we could do what he did in this scene to our own douchebag bosses at work. I know I have imagined it many times.

One cool thing about this scene is how it doesn’t end in the saloon, but continues outside with Val Kilmer just killing it as Doc Holliday. Love how Doc and the Earp’s just ignore Thornton’s Johnny Tyler and how he just stands there looking like the idiot he is. Good thing he said thank you in the end or he may have just gotten another bitchslap session from Wyatt.

Some people love this film. Some people don’t like this film, but I’d be hardpressed to find anyone who didn’t think this scene was the epitome of cool and badassery.

Lisa Marie Adopts Puss In Boots (dir. by Chris Miller)

Posted on November 12, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A few days ago, I finally went and saw Puss in Boots, the new animated entry into the Shrek franchise and a film that has spent (at least) two weeks at the top of the box office. Now, before I launch into my review, I should admit that I’m biased. I love cats, I love fairy tales, I loved all of the Shrek movies (even the ones that weren’t that good), and I love Antonio Banderas. Puss in Boots is one of my favorite characters of all time and I fully expected to love this movie. And you know what?

I did love it.

Taking place before Shrek, Puss in Boots follows the titular feline (voiced by Antonio Banderas, who seriously deserves some sort of Oscar for Best Sexy Voice) as he swashbuckles his way across Far Far Away. Reuniting with his childhood friend Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianikis, and not Jonah Hill as I assumed while listening to his voice durin the film) and with the equally skilled cat thief Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek), Puss finds himself stealing magic beans from the notorious outlaws Jack and Jill (Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris) and using the resulting beanstalk to help Kitty and Humpty to steal the goose that lays the golden eggs. Along the way, we also get some flashbacks to Puss’s kittenhood at the orphanage and oh my God!, is it ever adorable.

Puss In Boots is a pretty simple film and, to be honest, it’s almost too simple. There’s none of the subversive satire or subtext that distinguished the best of the Shrek films. But then again, as a character, Puss in Boots has little of the existential angst that defined Shrek and, as a film, Puss in Boots probably makes the right decision to just keep things simple, cute, and fun. When all is said and done, the main appeal of Puss in Boots is that he’s a cute little kitty who acts like a cute little kitty and who sounds exactly like Antonio Banderas. He’s an adorable character and here, he stars in an adorable movie and that’s more than enough to make me happy.