It’s hard to know where to really start with Megalopolis.

Directed, written, produced, and financed by Francis Ford Coppola, Megalopolis takes place in an alternate version of the United States of America.  In this alternative world, New York is called New Rome and it is dominated by a handful of wealthy families.  Former District Attorney Franklyn Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito) has been elected mayor.  Everyone seems to hate Cicero and the character tends to come across as being a bit whiny so you really do have to wonder how he got elected in the first place.

Cicero is obsessed with the powerful Crassus-Catallina family, which is headed by banker Hamilton Crassus III (Jon Voight).  Hamilton’s nephew is Cesar Catallina (Adam Driver), a brilliant architect who won a Nobel Prize for inventing a type of invisible material.  Ever since Cesar’s wife vanished under mysterious circumstances, a cloud of scandal has hung over Cesar’s name and with that scandal has come popularity with both the masses and the tabloid press.  When Cesar was tried for murder, the prosecutor was Franklin Cicero.  Cesar was acquitted but he now spends his time drinking and mourning his wife.  Cesar also has the power to stop time for everyone but him.  Why he has this power and how he came to possess it is never made clear, though Cesar compares it to the way that a great painter or writer can capture one moment for eternity.

Cesar is driven through the rainy streets of New York by his chauffeur, Fundi Romaine (Laurence Fishburne).  Fundi also serves as the film’s narrator, ruminating about how the Roman Empire eventually became a victim of its own decadence.  Just in case the viewer somehow doesn’t pick up on the fact that the movie is comparing modern America to ancient Rome, Fundi informs us of this fact.  Thanks, Fundi!

After Cesar publicly denounces Cicero’s plans to turn New Rome into a casino, Cicero’s daughter Julia (Nathalie Emmanuel) decides to take a break from decadent partying to follow Cesar around and try to discover whether or not he actually murdered his wife.  Julia discovers that Cesar is not only still mourning his wife but she also witnesses him stopping time.  Soon, Julia is working for Cesar’s design firm.  At some point, she and Cesar become lovers.

Meanwhile, Cesar’s former lover, Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza), has married Crassus and is plotting to take control of his bank.  Working with Wow is Cesar’s buffoonish cousin, Clodio Pulcher (Shia LaBeouf), who organizes the angry citizens of New Rome into a mob that threatens the safety and power of both Cicero and Cesar.  “Make Rome Great Again,” a sign reads at one of Clodio’s rallies, just in case anyone was missing Coppola’s point.

Clodio is obsessed with destroying Cesar.  First, he frames Cesar for deflowering New Rome’s vestal virgin, the singer Vesta Sweetwater (Grace VanderWaal).  Then, he sends a 12 year-old assassin after Cesar.  Cesar fears that he’s lost his ability to stop time.  Julia falls more and more in love with him.  Cicero gets booed everywhere he goes and, after his fixer (Dustin Hoffman) is mysteriously killed, he finds himself helpless against Clodio’s mob.  Can Cesar be convinced to abandon his self-pity long enough to stand up to Clodio?

And what about the Russian spy satellite that just crashed into New Rome?  Who will rebuild the city?

And …. well, let’s just say that there’s a lot going on in New Rome.

Francis Ford Coppola originally came up with the idea for Megalopolis in 1977 and he spent decades trying to bring the film to the big screen.  Eventually, Coppola ended up producing and financing the film himself.  From 2023 to the the day of the film’s Cannes premiere, the trade papers were full of stories about how difficult the production had been, with the underlying theme being that everything was Francis Ford Coppola’s fault and that the movie would be an unmitigated disaster.  (In the coverage found in both Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, there seemed to be a good deal of hostility directed at Coppola’s decision to work outside of the Hollywood system.)  Disgruntled members of the crew complained that Coppola was an undisciplined director who spent most of the production high.  A half-baked attempt to generate a #MeToo scandal around the film made it obvious that Coppola had burned a lot of bridges with both Hollywood and the media.  The film was released to critical derision and poor box office returns.  Coppola is 85 years old and it’s entirely possible that Megalopolis will be his final film.

Critics be damned, I liked the majority of Megalopolis.  Though the film may be thematically and narratively incoherent, it is a feast for the eyes and it’s hard not to respect the fact that, in this age of overwhelming conformity, Coppola brought his own unique vision to the screen.  There are a few moments of genuinely macabre beauty to be found in the film.  When the Russian satellite crashes into New York, we don’t see the impact but, on the city walls, we do see the shadows of people screaming in fear.  When a drunk Cesar is driven through New Rome, he sees gigantic statues stepping off of their bases and slumping to the ground, exhausted with being on display.  Coppola films New Rome like a beautiful, open-air prison.  It’s an amazing view but don’t even think about trying to escape.  The scenes in New Rome’s Coliseum are filled with an epic yet seedy grandeur.  At times, the film’s scenes seem to be almost randomly assembled, leaving us to wonder if we’re seeing the past, the present, or maybe just something that Cesar is imagining in his head.

What is the film actually about?  It’s not always easy to say.  Even in his best films, Coppola has had a tendency to be self-indulgent.  Sometimes, that self-indulgence pays off.  Though few would admit it now, The Godfather Part II is one of the most self-indulgent films ever made.  But it’s also brilliant so it doesn’t matter.  However, with Megalopolis, it’s hard not to feel that this film was such a passion project for Coppola that he didn’t stop to consider whether or not he really had anything new to say.  Megalopolis is hardly the first film to compare the supposed decline of America to the fall of the Roman Empire.  As much as I enjoyed the film’s visuals, I cringed at the film’s ending.  One can only imagine how a past Coppola collaborator like John Milius would have reacted to a bunch of children reciting a pledge to take care of the “one Earth.”

It’s a random film, one in which plot points are raised and often quickly abandoned.  At one point, Cesar starts to recite Hamlet’s famous “to be or not to be” soliloquy.  The cast is huge and everyone seems to be acting in a different movie.  Surprisingly enough, neither Esposito nor Adam Driver are particularly believable in their roles, though I think that has more to do with the film’s loose narrative structure than anything else.  Shia LaBeouf is convincingly feral as Clodio while Jon Voight seems to be having fun as the wealthy and crude Crassus.  The best performance in the film comes from Aubrey Plaza, who plays her role like a vampish femme fatale who has somehow found herself in a science fiction story.  Plaza holds nothing back with her performance and she actually manages to bring some genuine human emotion to Coppola’s surreal epic.

Megalopolis is a monument to self-indulgence but it’s always watchable.  Coppola may not know what he’s trying to say but he captures the surreal beauty that comes from getting trapped in one’s own imagination.  Megalopolis is not a film for everyone but I’m glad it exists.  At a time when artistic freedom seems to be under constant attack, it’s hard not to be happy that Coppola did things his way.