Oh no! Halloween might be canceled because people just aren’t scared of the old monsters! Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calls all of the classic creatures to a meeting in his castle (where they all happen to be freeloading) and give them an ultimatum. Be more scary! It turns out to be easier said than done.
This originally aired in 1979 but, for people of a certain age, it achieved a certain immortality thanks to regular airings on the Disney Channel. It’s a cute show. It might seem a little bit corny today but that’s a large part of its appeal. It’s a reminder of a more innocent time.
Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.
In 1958’s Giant From The Unknown, something strange is happening in a California mountain town. Animals are being killed. Property is being destroyed. People are being murdered.
Sheriff Parker (Bob Steele) suspects that the murderer might be Dr. Frederick Cleveland (Morris Ankrum), mostly because Dr. Cleveland spends a lot of time in the mountains looking at fossils with his daughter, Janet (Sally Fraser). When a younger scientist named Wayne (Ed Kemmer) shows up to help Dr. Cleveland out with his research, Sheriff Parker is even more suspicious. Meanwhile, the local citizenry suspects that it might be a member of the local Native American community.
It turns out that everyone’s wrong!
The murderer is a formerly dead conquistador (Buddy Baer), who was brought back to life by a bolt of lightning and who is now wandering around the mountains and killing people. The conquistador walks around in his full conquistador uniform, which is in pretty good shape when you consider the fact that he’s been dead for over two hundred years, maybe longer.
The odd thing about the conquistador is that he’s regularly described as being a giant, even though he’s clearly not. I mean, he’s tall. He appears like he might be 6’5. That makes him taller than the average person but shorter than the average professional basketball player. The filmmakers regularly attempt to shoot him from a lower angle in order to make him look taller but there’s nothing that can be done to disguise the fact that he’s just a 6’5 guy wearing what appears to be a fake beard and mustache. If anything, he looks like the frozen-faced Burger KIng mascot. Maybe he would stop killing people if the sheriff would just order a cheeseburger and fries. I mean, seriously, his whole rampage could have been avoided.
The title is also incorrect about the giant being from the unknown. He’s very obviously from Spain. All one has to do is look at his uniform. I think the unknown element of this film is how the conquistador has spent centuries underground without losing any skin. For someone who has been dead for as long as this conquistador was, his hair is very clean and well-groomed. Watching this film, it’s hard not to feel that Dr. Cleveland should have spent some time researching conquistador embalming techniques because whoever preserved the “giant” did a very good job! Everyone should be so lucky to look that good for being dead for that long.
Giant From The Unknown attempts to do the usual thing where the monster falls for the only woman in the entire film. (Indeed, it was hard not to notice that town’s population seemed to be 99% male.) Unfortunately, the giant was a pretty silly monster so it was difficult to get wrapped up in his emotional journey. There are some monsters that you feel sorry for and there are other monsters that you just wish would go away. The giant is a monster who probably had a lot of good haircare tips and who could have probably helped out the entire town …. if only they had been willing to listen!
Every so often in life something incredible happens when you least expect it. First, a little background… back in 2021, Charles Bronson celebrated his 100th birthday in heaven. At that point in my life, I had mostly celebrated my love of Bronson movies by myself. But back in 2021, I saw a news article that stated that Bronson fans around the world were celebrating his 100th birthday on social media using the hashtag #Bronson100. Following the hashtag on Twitter, I discovered a group of people who were doing a “live tweet” of the Bronson classic DEATH WISH 3! That night I met Doug Dietz, Chris Rauch, Lisa Marie Bowman, and many others who just wanted to celebrate Bronson like I did. These folks have become so important in my life! As I continued to search the world of social media for all things Charles Bronson, this time on Facebook, I came across the THIS WEEK IN CHARLES BRONSON PODCAST, run by a man from the Philadelphia area named Eric Todd. I made my request to join the page and was happy when they let me in. Soon I was sharing my love of Bronson, and they even asked me to be part of the podcast!! I guess they thought it would be nice to have someone on the podcast who sounded like the biggest hick in America. After all these years, I had found my people!! Eric and my friends in the THIS WEEK IN CHARLES BRONSON PODCAST Facebook group have become some of my very best friends. We would talk about Bronson and his movies on the show, but we thought it would always just be a bunch of Bronson geeks talking shop. And then another strange thing happened, we started reaching out to actors and actresses who had worked with Bronson and asked if they would come on the show. Lo and behold, many of them started saying YES! Soon Juan Fernandez (KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS), Jordan Rhodes (MR. MAJESTYK, THE INDIAN RUNNER), and Jan Gan Boyd (ASSASSINATION) had joined us for an episode!! It was so fun hearing their firsthand stories of working with Bronson. Which brings us back to Robert F. Lyons…
Robert F. Lyons was a hot young actor in the late 60’s and early 70’s. He was incredible in his debut film PENDULUM (1969) as the psychopath Paul Martin Anderson opposite George Peppard. Soon he was stealing scenes in movies like GETTING STRAIGHT (1970) with Elliot Gould and SHOOT OUT (1971) with Gregory Peck. Before long he was headlining his own films like the creepy THE TODD KILLINGS (1971) and the oddly titled DEALING: OR THE BERKELEY-TO-BOSTON FORTY-BRICK LOST-BAG BLUES (1972). As great as Robert F. Lyons is in these roles, his career as a leading man didn’t take off and he was soon back to character parts on movies and TV. He continued to play some really interesting parts along the way, like the awful Harrison Hancock in the Jesse Vint redneck action film BLACK OAK CONSPIRACY (1977) and the doomed vigilante Skeeter Norris in the TV horror film DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981). It was in the early 80’s when Robert F. Lyons, his friends call him Bobby, began working with Charles Bronson. It was also in the early 80’s when I discovered Charles Bronson. From 1982 to 1986, Bobby worked with Bronson in three of his classic Cannon films, first in DEATH WISH II (1982), followed by TEN TO MIDNIGHT (1983), and finally in MURPHY’S LAW (1986). I truly became Bronson’s biggest fan around the same time DEATH WISH 3 and MURPHY’S LAW were hitting home video. Lyons plays Bronson’s trusted partner Art Penney in MURPHY’S LAW, and I’ve watched the film at least 100 times in my life. Over the years, 10 TO MIDNIGHT has developed into my personal favorite Bronson / Cannon Films movie. If you’ve seen the film, Bobby’s in the interrogation scene where Bronson confronts the killer with his masturbation device and he’s also in the courtroom scene (spoiler alert!) where Bronson has to admit he planted the evidence against the killer. These are very memorable scenes in Bronson’s “slasher” film. Bobby, Charlie, and Jill Ireland got along great during these years, the same years I was becoming obsessed with my lifelong movie hero. In some ways, he was part of that obsession!
Later in his career, Bobby appeared on top notch TV shows like COLD CASE and CRIMINAL MINDS. He’s had a phenomenal, five-decade career as a working actor and teacher. Well, in 2024, Bobby agreed to join Eric Todd and me for an episode of the THIS WEEK IN CHARLES BRONSON PODCAST. Knowing how much I love Robert F. Lyons, Eric, who’s the host of the show, let me introduce him at the beginning. Introducing Bobby Lyons and being part of an interview with him is one of those incredible and unexpected things that have happened in my life. He’s the nicest guy, and he spent a couple of hours with us discussing Bronson, his movies, and everything else that came up. It’s one of the greatest nights of my life, and I’m sharing that podcast episode below! Please forgive me for totally fanboying out, but that’s just how it is. Happy Birthday Bobby Lyons! You’re in my film-watching Hall of Fame!
Claire (Michelle Pfeiffer) is a former cellist who is still struggling to recover from a serious car accident and who has been at loose ends ever since her daughter left for college. Claire’s husband, Norman (Harrison Ford), is a scientist and a college lecturer. After their neighbor, Mary (Miranda Otto), disappears, Claire becomes convinced that Mary’s husband (James Remar) did something to her. Claire also becomes convinced that Mary’s ghost is trying to contact her, by appearing in the lake and filling the bathtub up with water whenever Claire isn’t looking. Norman tells Claire that she’s imagining things and pushes her to see a therapist. As Claire investigates, she discovers that Norman knows more than he’s letting on.
What Lies Beneath is a long and drawn-out ghost story that Robert Zemeckis made because he had time to kill while the filming of Cast Away was on hiatus so Tom Hanks could lose weight and grow a beard. That this movie was not a personal project for Zemeckis is reflected in his direction, which is surprisingly impersonal for a Zemeckis film. The film is a showcase for Michelle Pfeiffer, who gives a good performance as the emotionally fragile Claire and holds the film’s many disparate elements together. Harrison Ford sometimes seems disinterested but his casting still pays off when Norman gets to say and do some things that you normally would never expect Harrison Ford to do.
I remember seeing this in a theater in 2000 and being surprised by the ending. Looking back on it today, I just can’t believe that I sat through the entire movie.
Will Randall (Jack Nicholson), the editor-in-chief of a New York Publishing house, doesn’t get much respect, not from his wife (Kate Nelligan), not from his boss (Christopher Plummer), and certainly not from Stuart Swinton (James Spader), the sleazy executive who is plotting to steal his job and destroy his marriage. But then, one night, Will runs over a black wolf on a country road. When he tries to helps it, the wolf bites him. Soon after, Will starts to feel different whenever the moon is full.
I remember that, when Wolf came out in 1994, some people said that casting Jack Nicholson as a werewolf seemed like typecasting. Nicholson apparently understood this as well so he actually downplays his usual mannerisms for the first part of the movie and gives a convincing performance as a harried executive who is worried he’s about to lose his job. It’s only after he is bitten that Will Randall starts to come alive. Not only does he develop the predator instinct necessary to survive in New York City but he also, without fear, pursues his boss’s daughter, Laura (Michelle Pfeiffer, at her most beautiful). Typecast or not, Jack Nicholson is excellent in Wolf. Equally good is James Spader as Will’s business rival, who starts to show some predator-like aspects of his own.
Director Mike Nichols was not normally a horror director and, around the midway point, his direction falters and there are times when he just seems to be going through the motions. He gets good performances from his cast but doesn’t know how to craft a good jump scare. The best parts of the movie are when Wolf uses lycanthropy as a metaphor for petty office politics, with Will “marking” his territory while talking to Stewart and showing a renewed killer instinct. Wolf works better as a social satire than as a horror movie.
Fans of Frasier will be happy to see David Hyde Pierce in a small but key role. He delivers the film’s best line. Fans of Friends may also notice David Schwimmer in a small role. He says nothing worth remembering. Their presence, though, is a reminder of just how much American culture changed in 1994. By the end of the year, both went from small roles in Wolf to co-starring in the two of the most popular sitcoms in America.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
This week, Peter White goes on trial.
Episode 2.20 “Cramming”
(Dir by Tim Matheson, originally aired on May 2nd, 1984)
Dr. Peter White finally goes on trial, charged with raping Kathy Martin and assaulting Wendy Armstrong. For his attorney, he hires the same lawyer (Conrad Janis) who previously made the case against him at his disciplinary hearing. The lawyer asks Kathy Martin about her own reputation at St. Eligius. (“How many times have you had sex in the morgue?”) Peter himself manages to pass a lie detector test. (Sociopaths don’t have the same physical reactions to telling a lie as normal people.) In the end, Peter is acquitted.
Shirley Daniels blames Kathy for the acquittal, saying that she should have come forward earlier. As for Wendy, she deals with the trauma by binging and then purging. When one of her patients miscarries after being admitted to the hospital, it’s determined that Wendy carelessly missed a heart murmur. When Wendy argues that she’s been under pressure due to the trial, Dr. Craig points out that Wendy missed the heart murmur before the trial even started. Wendy breaks down into tears.
I have to admit that Wendy Armstrong has never been one of my favorite characters on this show. She’s the type of doctor who most people would dread having to deal with. She knows all of the technical stuff but she has absolutely no idea how to relate to patients and she gets defensive whenever anyone disagrees with her. Even if she hadn’t been attacked by Peter White, it seems like it was inevitable that she would eventually end up overlooking something with one of her patients. That said, my heart still broke for her in this episode. One gets the feeling that she’s one bad day away from breaking.
This episode ends with all of the residents taking their National Board exams. The residents know that five of them will be cut from the program. Having been acquitted, Dr. White approaches Westphall and Auschlander and announces that he doesn’t have any hard feelings towards them and he hopes that they’ll give him a fair shot. “I’m innocent,” he lies.
Dr. Ehrlich is also nervous about his exams, cramming everything he can into his last minute study sessions. His Aunt Cherise (Louise Lasser) comes to visit and help him deal with the end of his marraige to Roberta but Ehrlich is able to dump her off on Dr. Westphall. After having an awkward dinner with the eccentric Cherise, Westphall realizes that he’s not ready to start dating again.
This episode left me reeling, to be honest. The acquittal of Peter White was a gut punch. I know he’s guilty. Everyone in the hospital knows that he’s guilty. But he’s acquitted. Kathy Martin’s name is drugged through the mud. Wendy Armstrong has gone from being determined to self-destructive. But Peter White has not only gotten away with his crimes but he’s now apparently convinced that he can go back to being a doctor at St. Eligius. And who knows? He probably can. It’s a messed up world. It was messed up in 1984 and it’s messed up today.
Next week, we’ll find out which residents made the cut!
Today’s horror scene that I love comes from one of my favorite films, 1953’s Creature From The Black Lagoon. In this scene, Julia Adams goes for a swim. Little does she realize that, under the water, the Creature is following her every move. Wonderfully directed by Jack Arnold, this creepy yet oddly lovely scene is one of the best of the 50s.
I feel confident saying that, though I’ve never met him. He’s currently eighty years old and in prison, serving several life sentences for a series of murders he committed in the 1970s, the 80s, and the 90s. Because he committed the murders at a time when Kansas did not have the death penalty, he escaped being executed. That said, he won’t be eligible for parole until the next century so we can rest assured that Dennis Rader will die in prison.
Dennis Rader was a serial killer who decided to give himself a nickname. He wrote letter to the local media in Wichita, Kansas and demanded to be known as The BTK Killer — for Bind Them, Torture Them, and Kill Them. It was a dumbass nickname but it stuck. Everything about the BTK case is disturbing but one that always gets me is that nearly got away with it. His last known victim was an elderly woman who he killed in 1991. By the time the current century rolled around, The BTK Case had gone cold and was being forgotten about. Rader couldn’t handle that so he started writing the local media and eventually the police again in 2004. Rader, being a moron, didn’t consider that he was mailing a DNA sample with every letter. Eventually, he sent the cops as floppy disk of his “writings.” What he didn’t realize is that the metadata from a deleted Word Document was still stored on the disk.
Dennis Rader was a deacon in his local church. He was also an dog catcher and compliance officer for Park City, Kansas. You know the self-important jerks who send you a letter threatening to fine you if you don’t mow your grass? Dennis Rader was one of those guys. When Rader was finally arrested, he was described as being a trusted member of his local community but let’s be honest. Everyone hates their local compliance officers. Most serial killers are driven by a need to control and dominate. Perhaps one reason why Rader had stopped killing was because he was able to channel his sadism into his job.
After he was arrested in 2005, he was on television constantly and he was such a continual presence that he even worked his way into a few of my nightmares. Rader confessed to his crimes in court, giving a monologue in which he dryly discussed each murder. Later, one of the primetime news shows interviewed Rader in prison and again, Rader discussed each murder in a flat tone and only showed emotion when he talked about the prospect of never leaving prison. It was disturbing to watch and listen to and sadly, the media made sure that we heard and listened to it a lot.
The Hunt For The BTK Killer was a made-for-television movie about Dennis Rader (played by Gregg Henry) and the detective (Robert Forster) who eventually arrested him. It aired in 2005, the same year that Rader was captured and eventually sentenced for his crimes. It’s a movie that was obviously shot very quickly to capitalize on the media attention that the case was receiving. As is often the case with the movies like this, it was filmed up in Canada. (Canadian film mainstay Maury Chaykin appears as a true crime writer.) All that said, it’s still an effective film. Gregg Henry, under a ton of makeup, plays Dennis Rader as being the type of busybody who gets off on telling people what to do and who believes that being a deacon at his church will absolve him from the murders that he committed. It’s a good performance and Henry is well-matched with Robert Forster. Forster’s naturally world-weary vibe made him the ideal choice for playing detectives who have seen the worst that humanity had to offer. Most importantly, the film shows how fear can change a community. When BTK is on the loose and sending taunting letters to the newspapers and the local television station, the people of Wichita soon start to suspect their neighbors and what was one a friendly town becomes a place where even Forster is at risk of getting accidentally stabbed by his terrified wife.
Dennis Rader was someone who obviously enjoyed the fear that he generated. He cried when he went to prison and hopefully, he’s still crying now.
Metallica’s “The Call of Ktulu” is like an eerie soundtrack to something ancient and terrifying lurking just beneath the surface. The whole song feels like a slow, deliberate wake-up call for an otherworldly monster straight out of Lovecraft’s nightmares. Without any lyrics, it’s the music itself that tells the story—starting off quiet and haunting, then gradually building layers of tension like the air getting heavier before a storm, pulling you into an unsettling experience of growing dread.
What’s cool is how each instrument adds its own flavor to that feeling. Cliff Burton’s bass rumbles low and deep, almost like the sea itself is grumbling, while the guitars slowly creep in with sharp, sometimes almost claw-like riffs. Lars Ulrich’s drums keep everything feeling urgent without rushing it, like the heartbeat of something big and unstoppable. It’s not just playing metal riffs; it’s like they’re painting a picture of a cosmic beast stirring from an ancient sleep, and you can’t look away even though you’re scared.
Interestingly, “The Call of Ktulu” was initially started by Dave Mustaine before his dismissal from Metallica, but it ultimately became a collaborative piece among all four original band members. Released as part of their 1984 album Ride the Lightning, the song reached new heights when performed with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra on the live album S&M. The legendary composer Michael Kamen arranged and conducted the orchestral parts, adding sweeping strings and powerful brass that turned the track into an apocalyptic ritual of sound, blending Metallica’s heavy riffs with symphonic grandeur and amplifying the song’s cosmic horror vibe to an unforgettable level.
Through the Shattered Lens 