In Victorian-era England, a somewhat neurotic young woman is hired to serve as the governess for two children who live in a foreboding estate. Once the governess arrives, she discovers that the children — especially little Miles — can be a handful. She also discovers that there was a governess hired before her, a governess who died under mysterious circumstances. At night, the new governess hears strange noises and soon, she becomes convinced that she’s seen the ghosts of both her predecessor and the old governess’s lover, Peter Quint. Everyone else may think that the new governess has allowed the isolation of the estate to get to her but she’s convinced that the ghosts have possessed the children! She becomes determined to save the children, even at the risk of their own lives….
If that sounds familiar, then you’ve either read Henry James’ Turn of the Screw or you’ve seen one of the several movies that were based on his novella. The Haunting of Helen Walker, which was made-for-television and initially broadcast in 1995, reimagines James’s unnamed governess as Helen Walker, an American woman played by Valerie Bertinelli.
Now, The Haunting of Helen Walker does take some liberties with Henry James’s source material. The novella was a masterpiece of ambiguity. The Haunting of Helen Walker is …. less so. Let’s just say this version doesn’t leave much doubt as to whether or not there’s actually ghosts in the mansion. That said, it’s still an entertaining made-for-TV movie.
Hey, remember when Marilyn Manson was considered to be like really shocking and dangerous?
No?
Well, that’s understandable. Marilyn’s been around for a while and he’s been so imitated that I think it’s kind of easy to forget just how much people freaked the fuck out about Marilyn Manson’s music and videos in the late 90s. They even attempted to blame him for Columbine. (Marilyn Manson also said one of the few wise things about that shooting. When asked what he would have said to the shooters, he replied that he wouldn’t have said anything but he would have listened to what they were saying because apparently, nobody bothered to do that before the shooting.) Now, of course, we just tend to think of Marilyn Manson as being a kind of dorky guy who is into horror movies, which is a pretty good description of the majority of film twitter.
Anyway, The Beautiful People features Marilyn on stilts, which apparently scared people to death back in the day.
In this episode, the latest batch of students at Toronto’s Degrassi Community School decided that the perfect way to end their summer is to go up to an isolated cabin in the woods. I know, it doesn’t make much sense to me, either. No one invites Clare because, by this point in the series, Clare had started to transform into Canada’s most dramatic yandere. However, because Clare is upset over her mom marrying the father of her ex-boyfriend, she goes up to the cabin anyway and ends up getting lost in the woods.
Of course, all sorts of weird things are happening around the cabin. Are the Degrassi students about to fall victim to the Canadian version of Michael Myers? Or do they just have an overactive imagination?
This episode originally aired on October 24, 2011, in Canada. It didn’t make it’s way over to the U.S. until November 18th, which definitely diluted its horror-themed impact. In many ways, it’s typical of later-era Degrassi, in that the plot is kind of fun and cute but you can’t help but think about how much more fun it would be if it was Ellie, Emma, Manny, Craig, and Spinner in the cabin instead of their replacements. But then again, that’s true to life. No one stays in high school forever.
Anyway, enjoy the horrorthon’s final episode of Degrassi! Tomorrow, we start a new show!
Someone is decapitating women in Boston and police Lt. Judd Austin (Leonard Mann) is determined to discover where the killer’s head is at!
The victims seem to come from all walks of life. A teacher’s aide loses her head while spinning around on a carousel. A worker at the local aquarium has her head tossed into a fish tank where it’s promptly nibbled at by a turtle. (Interestingly enough, the sharks ignore it.) Another head shows up in a kitchen and then another one in a toilet and then another one in a pond and …. well, you get the idea. There’s a lot of heads rolling around. The only thing that all of the victims have in common is Wendell College. Some were merely killed near the college. Others were enrolled in night classes.
Because the murderer wears a motorcycle helmet and a full black leather bodysuit, we’re not sure who the killer is. However, Lt. Austin promptly comes to the conclusion that the murderer is probably anthropology professor Vincent Millett (Drew Snyder), an unlikely lothario who is notorious for sleeping with his students and who has a collection of skulls in his apartment. Austin’s attitude is that no normal person would teach anthropology and since it also stands to reason that no normal person would run around Boston chopping off people’s heads, Millett must be the murderer. Millett doesn’t help himself by continually coming across as being a bit of an arrogant prick.
But is Millett the murderer? There are other suspects!
For instance, there’s Millett’s teaching assistant (and lover) Eleanor Adjai (Rachel Ward), on whom Millett performs some sort of odd blood ritual while the two of them are taking a shower together, the better so that director Ken Hughes can toss in a playful homage to Psycho.
And then there’s Gary (Bill McCann), the obviously disturbed busboy at the local diner who tries to follow Eleanor home one night.
And let’s not forget the dean of students, Helene (Annette Miller), who is portrayed as being a predatory lesbian because this movie was made in 1981.
And then there’s….
Well, actually, that’s it. One of the problems with Night School is there there really aren’t enough suspects. For a film like this to really work, you need a lot more red herrings. Savvy filmgoers already know that the most likely suspect isn’t going to be guilty because they never are. Unfortunately, that wipes out 50% of Night School‘s suspects and only leaves two others, one of whom is soon murdered. It all leads up to a surprise ending that’s not much of a surprise.
Night School is usually described as being a part of the slasher boom of the early 80s. While it’s true that Night School probably would never have been made if not for the financial success of Halloween and Friday the 13th, the film itself, with its whodunit plot and it’s gloved and masked killer, is more an American giallo than a traditional slasher film. That said, Night School never reaches the over-the-top, operatic heights of an Italian giallo. Instead, it’s a rather subdued version of the genre, happy to efficiently do it’s job without getting too caught up in issues of guilt, sin, and absolution. At the same time, some of the murders are cleverly staged and Rachel Ward brings some class to a film that could obviously use it. Night School gets the job done, even if it’s ultimately not that memorable.
The year is 1999 and John F. Kennedy High School sits in the middle of Seattle’s most dangerous neighborhood. Teenage gangs have taken over all of the major American cities and just going to school means putting your life in danger. However, Dr. Bob Forest (Stacy Keach!), the founder of MegaTech, has a solution. He has taken former military androids and reprogrammed them to serve as educators. JFK’s principal, Miles Langford (Malcolm McDowell!!), agrees to allow his school to be used a testing ground. Soon, Miss Conners (Pam Grier!!!) is teaching chemistry. Mr. Byles (Patrick Kilpatrick) is teaching gym. Mr. Hardin (John P. Ryan) is teaching history. When they’re not teaching, these robots are killing truant students and manipulating two rival street gangs into going to war.
Imagine mixing Rebel With A Cause with The Terminator and you get an idea of what Class of 1999 is like. Two of the only good teenagers (played by Bradley Gregg and Traci Lind) figure out that the teachers are killing their classmates but they already know that they won’t be able to get anyone to listen to them because they’re just kids who go to school in a bad neighborhood. Meanwhile, the teachers have been programmed to do whatever has to be done to keep the peace in the school. Why suspend a disruptive student when you can just slam his head into a locker until he’s dead? Director Mark L. Lester (who previously directed Class of 1984) is an old pro when it comes to movies like this and he’s helped by a better-than-average cast. Any movie that features not only Stacy Keach and Malcolm McDowell but also Pam Grier is automatically going to be cooler than any movie that doesn’t.
When Class of 1999 was made, 1999 was considered to be the future and, in many ways, the movie did prove to be prophetic. We may not have robot teachers (yet) but the idea of arming teachers and expecting them to double as cops has become a very popular one over the past few years. Personally, I wouldn’t want to send my children to a school where the teachers all have to carry a gun while teaching but that may just be me.
“There is a sharp hiss, as if millions of kernels cried out in pain and then were suddenly silenced. And then it arises — dear god, it arises. Something like Venus arising from the waters, or your fat Uncle Albert arising from his arm-chair, the Yellow Beast of Corn draws itself up from the pile of stalks. The broom drops from your nerveless fingers as you contemplate the apparition that has appeared before you. “Why me, why now, why here?” you can’t help but ask yourself, even knowing that the question is futile. To kill, to kill, that is the purpose of the Nibleted One, and anyone in its path will perish.”
— Don’t Fire Until You See The Yellow Of Their Niblets by Dan Shiovtiz
In this text adventure game, you are working the night shift at Big Foods Super Market. You have just finished sweeping up the produce aisle and you are looking forward to finally getting off work when suddenly, the Yellow Beast of Corn rises up, looking to destroy you. This may be because Big Foods has started receiving it’s corn from The Dark Brotherhood instead of Pete’s Produce Wholesalers.
You have three directions in which to run and two aisles in which to hide. Each aisle features a different way to kill the Yellow Beast of Corn but you’ll have to figure it out quick. Take too long and the day crew will only find a few pieces of you left in the morning.
Don’t Fire Until You See The Yellow Of Their Niblets is a game that was specifically designed to be played in less than a minute. Figuring out how to destroy the corn monster is not difficult. Instead, the challenge is making sure that you get to the aisle with enough time left to put a plan into action. It’s a fun game and you may have already guessed that it’s not meant to be taken too seriously.
As our long time readers know, I absolutely love Italian horror. I was very lucky to discover the greatness of Italian horror when I was a teenager (it was a double feature of Suspiria and Blade In the Dark that did it for me) and I’ve been lucky enough to be able to spend the last few years studying everything that made the Italian horror films of the 80s and early 90s so memorable.
However, I do realize that not everyone has spent the past few years watching the films of Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, Lamberto Bava, Michele Soavi, and Joe D’Amato. For those who are just starting to learn about the history of Italian horror cinema, I highly suggest Italian Horror by Jim Harper, a short but highly readable overview of the genre. Covering the years of 1979 through 1994, Italian Horror contains insightful reviews of films both famous (The Beyond,Dellamorte Dellamore) and infamous (Zombi 3 and so many others). Even better, there are reviews of several of the more obscure Italian horror films, the ones that actually take some effort to track down. For instance, I never would have seen Ratman if I hadn’t come across it in Harper’s book. And I know that you’re probably saying, “Would it be that a bad thing if you had never see Ratman?” Listen, Italian horror fans understand.
If you’re trying to start your studies of Italian horror off on the right foot, this is definitely a good book to start with. Read it and prepare to have a hundred new movies to watch afterwards.
Now, me, I absolutely love Beyond the Darkness. However, this 1979 Italian film is definitely not for everyone and I’m always very careful about recommending it. At it’s heart, it’s a story about a man named Frank Wyler (Kieran Canter) who is so in love with Anna Volkl (Cinzia Monreale, who Italian horror fans will immediately recognize from her iconic role as Emily in Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond) that he won’t even allow death to keep them apart. At the same time, the film contains scenes of cannibalism, gore, and nudity (poor Cinzia Monreale had to spent the majority of the movie naked and pretending not to breathe) that were so graphic that the film was actually banned in several countries. Did I mention that Frank’s a taxidermist? If you’ve ever wanted to see a film about how messy taxidermy can be, I guess this would be the one to go with.
Frank is a young man who has inherited a villa in the country. He lives there with Iris (Franca Stoppi), the servant who has literally raised him from his birth. Frank is a handsome but strange man, one who spends most his time locked away in his garage and stuffing dead animals. (Before anyone panics, there’s no animal cruelty to be witnessed in this film. Though there is a bit of human cruelty….) Frank is in love with Anna but Anna has recently been taken ill. She’s in the hospital, where the doctor’s simply cannot figure out what’s wrong with her. Could it have something to do with the voodoo curse that the jealous Irish has placed on her?
When Anna finally dies, Iris is convinced that she’ll have Frank to herself but Frank has other ideas. After the funeral, Frank promptly digs Anna back up and then takes her body back to his garage. Unfortunately, along the way, an obnoxious hitchhiker (played by Lucia D’Elia) decides that Frank’s going to give her a ride. The hitchhiker ends up passing out in Frank’s van.
So, here Frank is. All he wants to do is stuff his dead girlfriend. But he’s got this obnoxious hitchhiker running around the garage and knocking over buckets of intestines! Frank kills the hitchhiker and Iris, despite being disgusted by the fact that Frank has insisted on bringing Anna home, helps him dispose of the hitchhiker’s body. The problem’s solved, except for the fact that Frank is now becoming obsessed with cannibalism….
Okay, it’s a weird film and it only gets weirder from there. As I said, it’s definitely not a film for everyone and there’s certain scenes that would be incredibly offensive if not for the fact that the film is so well-directed and Canter, Monreale, and Stoppi are all so well-cast and give such sincere performances that you can’t help but get caught up in the film’s storyline. Frank may be a spoiled, cannibalistic murderer and Anna might be dead but their love for each other is so sincere that you can’t help but feel for both of them. Director Aristide Massaccesi (who was usually credited under the name Joe D’Amato) creates an ominous and gothic atmosphere while Goblin provides a pulsating and moody score that perfectly mirror Frank’s descent into madness (Admittedly, Frank doesn’t have far to descend.) Massaccesi often said that he only made the film to gross people out but an accidental success is a success nonetheless.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
This October, we’re using 4 Shots From 4 Films to look at some of the best years that horror has to offer!